Thread 40621937

Can we talk about how transitioning hurts other people?

Because it does. And I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t. Yes, the person with dysphoria is suffering, no one denies that. I mean, I guess she's not suffering anymore which I find hard to believe. But that doesn’t erase the fact that everyone around them gets dragged through it too. We’re expected to stay silent, smile, or call it brave, even though we’re grieving.

I miss my friend. He’s gone. She would agree too. The person I knew, the one I cared about, is dead. She erased him, and what’s left isn’t him. It’s someone else. A stranger to me. And I’m supposed to call that progress.

I’ve lost sleep over this. Lied awake at night super anxious and even cried. I’ve tried to make sense of it, while everyone around me tells me I should feel proud or happy for her. But how do you celebrate losing someone you once loved or felt deeply connected to? I guess I just can't allow myself to get over it.

I’m supposed to pretend what I feel doesn’t matter. That my grief is irrelevant because she found herself. But the truth is, what she found was an escape and it came at a cost. Not just to her, but to me too. I have to live with that now. The grief doesn’t end, it's been months.. I just push it aside the best I can. I’ve had to distance myself from her to stop feeling anxious. I hate that we can’t be friends anymore, but I have to think about my own mental state too. And if it’s messing with my head this much, it’s better this way.

No one else here probably relates, but I just wanted to put it out there.

dysphoria is fake
If you cannot justify your behavior without irrational meme words - you know it's wrong and want permission to do something harmful to others

>>40621937 (OP)
Don't care

>>40621937 (OP)
>"how can i make someone elses pain and suffering about me"

Doubt anybody here will deny that. But ultimately we must live with ourselves our entire lives. We shouldn't be forced to suffer so that other people don't.

>>40621953
>dysphoria is fake and all those neuroscientists that believe it are wrong, according to loudmouthed theater kid on twitter
>>40621937 (OP)
Shouldn't you be supportive of a friend instead of prioritizing what they provide you?

>>40621984
your suffering is fake and used to cause suffering to others

>>40621937 (OP)
>I prefer when my friend was suffering and using masks to survive
Mean

>>40621989
I didn't stop being their friend because I hated them. I did it to protect my sanity. It probably works out okay because now they can have friends that support them 100% of the time.

>>40621937 (OP)
>She erased him
based, he deserved it.

>>40621937 (OP)
>I miss my friend
Why do you lie? You were fucking him and now he's a woman, just say that. Your husband was your husband, and not your friend. Now you aren't attracted to her, which is fine. You weren't friends, you didn't gossip together, you didn't talk about men and celebrities.

>>40621989
>all those neuroscientists that believe it are wrong
fallacious appeal to authority + consensus

>>40621937 (OP)
Hey man there is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from her, really because it definitely something that takes a little bit of adjusting to get use to. I am sorry that you are going through this and I am glad you are realizing that you care about her, and I think that is very beautiful. It might take some relearning as there are def changes and the dynamic may not always be the same but I am sure she has been happy having you as a friend even when she was suffering through her dysphoria :).

>>40621937 (OP)
trvke.

i don't really understand why you can't be friends with this person anymore just because she transitioned. surely you still have the same memories you've shared together? at least some of your common interests? surely someone who still shares those things wouldn't suddenly be a stranger to you just because of some hormonal bs
it admittedly isn't something i have much experience with, i only really had 1 friend who stuck with me long term while i was pretrans and we're still friends now but she's kind of in denial about my trannyism and i don't really care. my sister likes me a lot more as her sister than she did as her brother. i've changed a lot in many ways from who i used to be but ultimately what makes me "me" is still there
i don't mean to call you a bad person or whatever, i know a lot of people find this stuff weird and disconcerting and that isn't likely to change anytime soon, even if it's a mindset i personally can't quite wrap my head around. i just hope you can eventually realise that your friend hasn't gone anywhere and i'm sure you'll get to reconnect if you allow yourself to

>>40622055
it isn't a fallacy to dismiss a xitter post that doesn't cite anything to begin with

>>40621937 (OP)
I understand your frustration and grief. One of my oldest friends was supportive initially but overtime it's been made more apparent that he has a hard time adjusting. We've been friends since 7th grade, known each other since 2nd. I can't really blame him for being upset that his "brother from another mother" isn't who he thought. I hope he can make peace with the fact this was always me, a girly faggot that likes living as a woman even if I'll never be one. Staying in the closet is not a way to live tho

>>40621937 (OP)
wah wah wah i have to call someone a different name, this is literally abuse

>>40622192
if gay men were women they wouldn't be gay

Least darvo woman award

>>40621937 (OP)
>I miss my friend. He’s gone. She would agree too. The person I knew, the one I cared about, is dead. She erased him, and what’s left isn’t him. It’s someone else. A stranger to me. And I’m supposed to call that progress.
It is weird when they throw every single thing about their lives away when they transition and i swear it is just trading one mask for another.

>>40621937 (OP)
why can't you be friends anymore? and what a her makes you anxious?

sorry your bottom transitioned bro

>>40622045
>gossip together
>talk about men and celebrities
This is all you think women friendships consist of…

>>40621937 (OP)
>The person I knew, the one I cared about, is dead.
they're literally not, though
>changing hurts other people because im entitled to my friends always being the same
wrong and also lame. having friends capable of growth is nice. being manipulative and controlling isn't

>>40622542
I had strong feelings for her before she transitioned, probably more than just friendship. It stirs up a lot of unresolved emotions in me.

>>40622994
>they're literally not, though
They might as well be.

>wrong and also lame. having friends capable of growth is nice. being manipulative and controlling isn't
Exactly why I can't be her friend. I'm not capable of giving her what she deserves.

>>40621953
Refuted already

>>40621937 (OP)
Get over it

>>40621937 (OP)
>>40621953
Boo fucking hoo lmao, if this is what you crybabies consider pain you'd kill yourselves after 5 minutes of living with dysphoria. Unironically toughen the fuck up.

>>40621937 (OP)
It’s the same person. You might find that you like the authentic version of your friend better. Or not.
If you can’t deal then do what you gotta do, just don’t be a dick about it

>>40623477
>I had strong feelings for her before she transitioned
I could definitely tell a little by the way you wrote your op. ig my question is if you love/loved her why not want her to be happy?

>>40621937 (OP)
>>I miss my friend. He’s gone. She would agree too. The person I knew, the one I cared about, is dead. She erased him, and what’s left isn’t him. It’s someone else. A stranger to me.
Sweety this is 1000% valid. You lost someone you love a lot, and you feel betrayed and hurt by the person you lost who left you alone.

Your feelings are valid, it's okay that you have them, I understand them, and I'm here to support you in any way I can.

But I can't bring him back. He wasn't real. He was sickness. I'm so grateful to you that you loved and supported me when I was like that, but that part of my life is over.

So what do you want to do? Do you want to make a new friend? Or is that too painful right now?

>>40623738
I wanted her to be happy, yes, but not at the cost of destroying everything that made her who she was. I thought she was already whole and valid.

Loving someone doesn’t mean blindly supporting everything they do... But maybe that’s just my mistake. Thinking she didn’t need to change to be worth something.

>>40621937 (OP)
my ex probably feels this way, but i don't feel much remorse about it since she was abusive.

>>40623799
Maybe I will come back to you some day when it doesn't feel so raw

>>40621937 (OP)
so like, why is it impossible to be friends with your troon just because she acts and dresses different now? Do you lack object constancy or something?

>>40623817
If your name starts with R you can have whatever you need.
You loved him a lot, and did it when nobody else did, you stood by him as I got worse and worse and worse.
But I couldn't take it any more. You heard me screaming at myself, I know you did. You heard me praying for death. It was tearing me apart and I was going to die anyway.

I love you. And I know I hurt you and I'm sorry. So you do what feels right for you.

>>40623799
>>40623817
oh so were doing gay samefag stuff tonight gg ig

>>40623803
what about her changed specifically? where there both a physical and emotional changes?

>>40623864
>>40623879
it's another larp. this "emily" figure admitted to being a loser NEET until 40 before no way they had friends

>>40621937 (OP)
I don't care fuck you shove it up your ass

If transitioning killed your old self I think you did it wrong

>>40625155
Yes. I definitely did my old self wrong.

>>40621937 (OP)
Lmao.

>>40625173
I mean, when I am transitioned I just wanna do the same stuff I always do but like, as a girl? Even stuff I picked up as a way to affirm my masculinity when I was repping is still enjoyable, and I plan on still being into them as a girly faggot still since I genuinely do like them now.

If its not just gonna be you but better isn't transitioning just going to trade one set of lies for another?

>>40621937 (OP)
I destroyed my family by transitioning (at 17, at least it was a family I was born into). I'll never forgive Contrapoints, /r/mtf, the Gender Dysphoria Bible, and all that insane troon propaganda for creating an environment that led me to believe I had an intractable immutable wombyn soul and needed to transition.

Relationships are forever damaged. People really should consider how transitioning affects the people around then. I despise those AGPs with their partner on /r/mypartneristrans saying how they trooned out at 35 with three kids.

>>40625206
inb4 wahhhhhh you made your own decisions take responsibility. I was working with the information I had and the only people I trusted on trans stuff told me repping was hopeless and that if I didn't transition I'd be forever miserable

>>40625206
Genuinly wondering, what is it about transitioning that fucks so much stuff up? No one can tell what I am planning yet so bear with me, I really don't see any reason to change my personality and even the name part is just to not weird people out with my masculine as shit name if I ever start passing.

>>40625215
no clue, my family and friends were pretty normal about it i don't know why some cissoids throw a fit. it's not like people change that much when they troon out

>>40625215
A lot of parents are billed as "transphobic" when their severely mentally ill, previously gender conforming son suddenly says he's a woman. It's obvious to a lot of people that in many cases a trans identity is a maladaptive coping mechanism.

Also, it is kind of like a person dying. Everything about them changes. Especially if it's your kid you've raised from birth and you're convinced it's not the best idea that can be very painful.

Also you have to accept that ur male child is a woman or you're a phobe. A lot of people have this crazy idea that women can't have dicks, and feel frustrated when they're supposed to accept that women can have dicks in order to have a relationship with their child

>>40625237
What changes a lot though? I don't even plan on using the new name around my old friends and family, just to not weird people out who will only know me as a woman.

Do some people just care about the identity part way more than I do or do you just hate trannies?

>>40621937 (OP)
You're not alone, I can confirm that the feeling is 100% real
And I would take the advice to just get over it if I could

>>40621937 (OP)
>The person I knew, the one I cared about, is dead. She erased him, and what’s left isn’t him. It’s someone else
you miss an idealized version that never really existed. a mask they put on. from the POV of my friends they might have thought similar, but the version of myself, the "public facing" version I showed, was never really me.
so are you really mourning your friend, or are you just mourning something that never really existed?

>>40625212
If you are noah your christcucking does look immensely miserable and pathetic so they're right KEK

>>40621937 (OP)
Can we talk about how buying a house hurts other people?

Because it does. And I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t. Yes, the person renting is suffering, no one denies that. I mean, I guess they're not suffering anymore which I find hard to believe. But that doesn’t erase the fact that everyone around them gets dragged through it too. We’re expected to stay silent, smile, or call it brave, even though we’re grieving.

I miss my friend. They're gone. They wouldn't agree but I'm coping. The person I knew, the one I cared about, is dead. They erased them, and what’s left isn’t them. It’s someone else. A stranger to me. And I’m supposed to call that progress.

I’ve lost sleep over this. Lied awake at night super anxious and even cried. I’ve tried to make sense of it, while everyone around me tells me I should feel proud or happy for them. But how do you celebrate someone you once loved or felt deeply connected to changing in any way? I guess I just can't allow myself to get over it.

I’m supposed to pretend what I feel doesn’t matter. That my grief is irrelevant because they don't do ket anymore and now have potted plants. But the truth is, what they found was an escape and it came at a cost. Not just to them, but to me too. I have to live with that now. The grief doesn’t end, it's been months.. I just push it aside the best I can. I’ve had to distance myself from them to stop feeling anxious. I hate that we can’t be friends anymore, but I have to think about my own mental state too. And if it’s messing with my head this much, it’s better this way.

No one else here probably relates, but I just wanted to put it out there.

>>40625249
Depends on the family.

>>40625188
Sweetheart everyone's journey is different.
My lie was comprehensive, I invented a man and tried to live his life for 20 years, it destroyed me.
The real me was crushed into a tiny little box at the back of my mind. When I let her out she was the same child she was when I'd put her in there. Pronouns are weird on this, obviously. But the QRD is simple, I was pretending to be somebody I wasn't, now I'm being true to myself.

That said, things that are cool are still cool. But I'm not my hobbies.

I have thought for a while now that there MUST be some non-negligible degree of narcissism present, or at the very least a level of dissociation that outwardly presents as arrogant, for a transition to actually take place or even to initially demand the cognitive dissonance from others of "I am the opposite now of what I was before, ignore all sensory input and let me gaslight you"

>>40625632
almsot every tranny is a narc

>>40621937 (OP)
you would prefer if your "friend" pretended to be a non dysphoric happy man forever and hid a huge part of her personality and life just to make you happy? you're actually retarded and evil and i genuinely hope you die <3

>>40625206
>>40625215
>>40621937 (OP)
Nothing that gets destroyed by transitioning was worth preserving

>>40621953
abby has a point. we cant even explain why water is wet, we can only acknowledge that it is. posessed by anima is just as valid explanation as dysphoria
>you would try to say that it is because atoms attract, electons rotate
>okay but whay do they attract and rotate?
>because they are magnetised
>but why are they magnetised?
>its another definition below

>>40625237
i fucking hate people like you. id kill for the naive experience you have. ive made so many fucking accomodations for you "grievers" and get nothing in return. not the tiniest bit of respect. like im not even their child

>>40625884
But all those things happen

>>40621937 (OP)
Boo Hoo retard, people don't exist for your pleasure.

>>40625912
What's your stance on "trans widows" then?

>>40626016
anyone transitioning as a grown father should kill themselves

>>40626019
>fresh yolkies = good
>stale old spoiled eggs = bad
Average zoomertroon

>>40625912
>>40626019
not even your parents love you

>>40626023
yes. government people should have screened me for autism and gd at 13 and give me estrogen so i dont grow up to have male slelethon

>>40623799
thank you chatGPT

>>40626044
they say they do but i dont believe them im just a tool to them

>>40625632
>projection

>>40621937 (OP)
you are obsessed with an image in your head that was never real.
>>40625237
parents don't own their children.

you just wanna make somebody else's suffering about yourself, you delusional narcissistic fuck. under my presidential administration i will make sure people like you are hung from telephone poles in the streets

>>40627928
not makin it about the other person lmao, just sayin they get hit too

obv not the same pain, not sayin it’s worse than the dysphoria or whatever, but it’s still pain

when someone you care about troons, it’s like some of their mental illness leaks into you. now you’re stuck missing someone who doesn’t exist anymore, and you’re supposed to pretend it’s fine. they escape, you’re left with the fallout forever

it's ok i lost all my friends before transitioning by trying to rep and becoming a full hikikomori in the meantime

>>40625264
Lol
Would have been more realistic if you'd started making it a NIMBY rant about the neighborhood character or gentrification or whatever though

>>40628128
>oh this person I know is improving their life after (potentially) years or even decades of suffering?
>BUT WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
NPD

>>40625717

most empathetic tranny

>>40628855
you are genuinely subhuman scum

>>40628830
lol sorry for my narcissistic pain i didnt ask for. my bad for caring about someone enough to actually grieve their ghost instead of clapping like a simp

>>40628946
thanks for proving my point

This thread is like, full of people in denial of the fact that their actions might cause negative emotions in others, or people thinking that others' emotions aren't valid

>>40628978
thanks for bitching and moaning about how other people's personal choices affect you and how everyone around you should put up a facade and live a double life to please you forever because you are the main character and you're entitled to their own happiness more than they are, your input was highly valued cissoid

>>40629158
Yeah, cis people do that

>>40629158
Majority of trannies have narcissistic personality disorder as well as autism, so it makes sense. These people can't be ressoned with.

>>40621937 (OP)
Too fucking bad, others can't live their lives exclusively for you, narcissist.

>>40622004
you are just evil

>>40623799
did you actually use chatgpt to try to have an emotional response to a real person who's venting about real feelings? I know people on this board constantly dogpile you and I've always thought it was a little cruel, but this is like disgusting. Like actually, what a disgusting miserable way to interact with someone. Do better.

people keep getting on OP for bringing this up but I think that's really dismissive, of course when people change it'll affect their relationships and people might have complicated feelings with that they'll have to work through, of course OP is making it about himself, it could potentially be manipulative to make a big stink about how hurt he is over this on any place that isn't completely disconnected from his real life.

idk I think it's fair for people to have feelings like that and discuss them and I don't think this post is evil. maybe "can we talk about how transitioning hurts other people" is an inflammatory title, but idk I do think people telling OP to die for having these feelings is kinda super unempathetic.

>>40630981
or more likely the trannies here just don't wanna hear this shit because they've already heard it from their families and the media and the healthcare establishment, all of which exist to bend over backwards to cis victims of transition. most of the time people are far more dismissive of what the tranny is going through than the feelings of their families, who could literally just accept them and they would still be able to keep loving the same person

>>40631233
Then they could just say to fuck off. The reasoning trannies usually give here are very narccistic. expecting your family to accept your extreme decisions is unresonable, no society ever accepted trannies, at best they were a schizo prostitute cult.

>>40631315
so you care a lot about the feelings of the tranny's family but you see trannies as subhumans whose feelings don't matter. thanks for your transparency

>>40625155
nah what was before wasn't even alive. i killed a zombie.

>>40621937 (OP)
Your friend isn’t dead, she’s still the same person. “My friend is no longer suffering I must make this about me”. Honestly grow. You talk about having to mourn your friend, but do you know how it feels to have people mourn you while you’re alive standing right in front of them? I know there is some adjustment but this is making a mountain out of a mole hill. Your friend looks different and uses a different name now, it’d be like if I mourned my friend when she stared wearing new clothes and going by a nickname

>>40631331
I've never met a tranny in my life, I don't care for either's feelings, I don't have feelings for abstract groups, I can feel for a tranny and even feel bad for a narcissistic one who I disagree with fundamentally. I don't know what that would change. Tragedy is inevitable.

>>40623513
While you're right that gender dysphoria exists, just because the MD textbook uses "gender dysphoria" as if it's a real observable phenomenon and not just a vague catch-all term for clinical practice to work like "autism," doesn't mean it actually is. Look for sources that aren't just clinical and are more scientific.

>>40631062
No. That was me. I think I might know OP IRL.

>>40631482
>Your friend isn’t dead, she’s still the same person.
This isn't true tho.
This is how you support a person who comes out as gay, because they were always gay they were just hiding it. But a transition is a transformative process, psychologically, socially, physically, you are becoming a new person fundamentally distinct from the person you were.

Society convinced me I was something I wasn't, and I did my best to conform to the thing society said I was to the point of engineering within my own mind a false persona. And that false persona was the person everyone knew me as - hypermasculine, toxic politics, obnoxious sense of humour, that's "who" I was.
I kept that going for as long as I could but eventually maintaining that persona required more mental resources than I had and I had to stop.

Now I am letting a new personality develop along healthier lines. I am a different person.

The only thing the OP gets wrong is that I didn't kill him. True to form he sacrificed himself for me. The masculine urge to somehow die was a cornerstone of his personality, he kinda got what he wanted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzdjeuybHSI

kys

>>40629158
i geniunely dont understand why youre under this impression that people should hide their true ambitions and path to happiness to placate those with closed minds.
its simply unfathomable. youre told to be yourself 1000 times before you grow up if you grow up in a healthy home. why when that challenges conventional norms is it suddenly bad?

>>40621953
Isn’t ’wanting to transition’ just dysphoria? And the other elements of that diagnosis come from observing the shared behaviours and symptoms of those who want to transition? Does she think some guy sat down and just invented the criteria for dysphoria out of thin air?

>>40621937 (OP)
there's thousands of people who share this experience, you aren't alone.
at the end of the day though you are putting a lot on the act of transition that ought to be put on the person instead. unless my friends have not let the mask slip whatsoever for 4 years my personality changed very little to those i really trusted, even when by inertia my presentation was that of a man's.
your friend probably felt trapped in their life, is overoptimistic about the ability of transition to solve all her life's problems, or some combination thereof.
ask yourself; is there a version of your friend who presents female and has the traits of this past version of your friend you've lost? i'd imagine so.
bookending just by saying im sorry this happened, but dysphoria is suffering and each person ought to deal with their own suffering, repressing for the sake of being a martyr for *everyone else* is unsustainable.

>>40621937 (OP)
Wahh wahh wahh
>>40621953
Who the fuck cares about toobs opinion lmao

>>40629158
>expecting empathy from autists

>>40629158
if you were starving to death and everyone around you would be very very sad if you ate would you be in the right to eat? would they be in the right to let their emotions lord over other people?

>>40621937 (OP)
Thats crazy. My best friend just looks away when I change now. Sorry you loved a mask.

>We’re expected to stay silent, smile, or call it brave, even though we’re grieving.

Go to a fucking support group. This is an entirely typical initial reaction to someone you know transitioning. The thing to do is get all the help you need but not make it that person's problem.

The thing not to do is conceptualize this as something someone is doing TO you. It's a thing that is happening to both of you. Insofar as your friend has a choice, she is making the right one for everyone.

>>40621937 (OP)
i’ve always been the same person you just used to not blackmail me for nudes fuck you faggot

>>40621937 (OP)
honestly this is one of the main reasons i'm still repping and will likely continue to - it just doesn't seem fair to impose so much mental stress on the people around me, even in a vacuum (though, i'd never feel comfortable setting this standard on others admittedly, that's up to them)
like, that's not even getting into shit like your friends or your family feeling obligated to ask themselves really awful questions like "are my children even safe around (anon)?" or whatever, considering stuff like the constant media coverage around that type of shit - like, if you're constantly hearing from the news that trans people are all femicidist child molesters and then your friend who babysits your child comes out as trans, i can't even begin to imagine the feeling of dread you might experience at even just thinking that, and it doesn't feel fair to ever put someone through that
i guess i view it as a "many outweighs the few" situation - ultimately, my discomfort is the discomfort of one person compared to the discomfort of many, so it's better that i bear it than everyone else be obligated to out of my own inherently selfish desires that just aren't compatible with the realities of modern culture, science, or medicine (and ultimately the fact that it'll make me less likely to be raped, stabbed, and left to bleed out in a public park also helps, i guess)

>>40634287
if someone close to you transitioned would you treat them based off of this logic? or are you just trying to be a martyr and carry everyone's potential stress on your own one back

>>40634446
>would you treat them based off of this logic?
not at all, i'm talking about the logic i apply to myself (i am objectively a lesser being to those around me, that's just a straight up objective fact)
>trying to be a martyr
almost certainly, to be realistic. though i can at least justify it to myself as the "moral option" while deliberately obvuscating that it's quite clearly a textbook case of selfishly wanting people to feel sorry for me because of the "burden i carry", so hey, everyone's a winner
>carry everyone's potential stress on your own one back
honestly i feel like this is more of a privilege than anything? i mean, to be in a social group at all, people are expending their time, their energy, and their resources to exist around you, let alone going above and beyond to do things like support you through tough spots or whatever
the ability to in turn make their lives even marginally better (without complaint, expect of reward, or anything similar) is thus a privilege rather than an "obligation" because it'd be very easy (and possibly justified) for them to cut you out of your life, badmouth you to every single person they can think of, and ideally get you ousted from any form of support network if you don't meet their moral standards

>>40634584
>i am objectively a lesser being to those around me, that's just a straight up objective fact
i don't know you or why you think this but by default i don't believe this one bit.
>a textbook case of selfishly wanting people to feel sorry for me
i get that, i think a lot of people on roads to recovery are like this. you've been in pain so long that you start assuming you are your pain, and to discard it would be to die. and "everyone's a winner" - i'm not sure about that either. but again i'm ignorant and can't relate to conscious repression.

and re: the last segment (couldn't find a specific "thesis" to quote it again feels asymmetrical to me; in my mind the perfect moral system applies to everyone, excluding yourself is cruel toward yourself. do you think the people you believe would oust and slander you if you transitioned are good people? are they not failing to support you through your "tough spots", even if they're not aware of them?
sorry if this is a lot i promise im not trying to pink pill you per se. just curious about the thought process and trying to walk a fine line

>>40634287
OP, here. What people here don’t understand is that no, I didn’t want my friend to suffer. Nor did I have the power to control her or change her mind. That would be for my own selfish desires and, most people are right that wouldn’t be fair.

But… that’s not the point of my topic. If she’s truly happier now, then so be it. Everyone guilt trips you into, well she’s not going to kill herself anymore! So I have to be in constant conflict with myself. I just have a really hard time coming to terms with it. Probably because I had strong feelings for her. I think about him constantly, like way too much. Mostly at night when I’m trying to fall asleep. And it’s not intentional. During the day I’m mostly okay. But at night sometimes I take mirtazapine to knock myself out. My thoughts race between how a perfect guy couldn’t see himself as such. But it’s really the parts about chemical castration, no more orgasms. All the changes that have long term effects or can’t easily be reversed. I just wanna scream, please stop it. Maybe it’s not too late. You’re destroying yourself. I don’t even wanna think about her having bottom surgery. It’s so disturbing. I can’t seem to let go and it torments me. That’s why I don’t talk to her anymore to shield myself from severe anxiety.

I’m not trying to convince people not to transition or manipulate anyone, especially if they’re actually suicidal. I mean, I wish people didn’t transition obviously… But I don’t think it gets talked about how it can impact other people in their lives. I could never tell her how I feel. I feel a little embarrassed talking about it to anyone really. Heck, I’m only on 4chan because where else can you post stuff like this without being shut down?

>>40634661
>don't believe this
that's okay, you're not obligated to believe anything i say (and any attempt of me to even imply otherwise is manipulative and abusive)
>everyone's a winner
ultimately, everyone else is ignorant, and i can pretend to have the moral high ground by putting myself through "discomfort" (see: sympathy-baiting narcissism) so like yeah everyone comes out without losing anything of meaningful value
>excluding yourself is cruel toward yourself
cruelty doesn't really apply toward me though? like, people think eating humans is worse than eating animals because we intuitively see humans as more "morally valuable", i guess. so, i'm on the lower end of the spectrum. there are other people who are there too, i wouldn't argue i'm uniquely evil or anything, i don't have that much of an ego lol
>are people who would oust and slander you good people
frankly the fact that they're willing to turn on a dime against bad people shows that they're at least performatively good and that counts for something i guess
actually tried to go ahead with transition back in 2019 and entirely blew up my life in the process, which was honestly completely justified considering everyone around me had been lied to for years, considering i was imposing on their conception with things like preferred pronouns, and considering media coverage and whatnot probably made them paranoid that i'd rape and murder one of them purely by virtue of being trans
like i genuinely can't blame anyone for reacting the way they did
>are they failing
not at all, they're already doing more than enough by tolerating me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
the difference is that i should support them through their own tough spots, that goes without saying, but considering i'm the one that's an active drain on every social environment i'm introduced to and they're not it kind of balances out
>not trying to pink pill you
oh no it's okay i get where you're coming from with all of this

>>40634737
>But it’s really the parts about chemical castration, no more orgasms.
you know trannies can still orgasm right?

>>40634737
it sounds like you just have an obsessive crush and have latched on to the trans thing as a cope for the real problem: that you'll never be with her. which fair enough, crushes can be agonizing. but it will pass with time

>>40634932
and estrogens make orgasms much stronger lol

>>40634932
I know it doesn't end overnight. But like, it lessens over time, doesn't it? Like little to no sex drive after a few years? No more spontaneous erections? You're getting rid of life's most pleasurable experiences. TMI, but I jerk off everyday. I would be so miserable and unhappy if I couldn't anymore. That's so important to me.

>>40634965
I can honestly say I'm not attracted to her anymore. He had a beautiful almost gaunt face and the lightest shadow of stubble. Now her face has filled out. It's round and shapeless, no real definition. I don't mind being without her. It's him I miss.

>>40634893
i'm sorry to hear, about your attempt to transition. and in 2019 too that was really before the worst of it it seems. whether or not you went ahead with this you'd have to carry the weight of the world and be the perfect human being just to not set anyone off. regardless of what you do with regards to your gender i hope you can see yourself in a better light some day. speaking from experience with horrible social anxiety people tend to pick up on someone who acts as if they have a low self-esteem vs. a regular or high one, all sorts of ways in which you carry yourself change.

>>40631173
>super unempathetic
Well he shouldn't have made a title and theme that was unempathetic and narcy in the first place?

>>40635267
>sorry to hear
oh no it's all good lol you don't need to be sorry about it if anything it's for the best
>be the perfect human being just to not set anyone off
well that's the issue with transition - anything at all that i do that's not absolutely perfect reflects badly on the trans community. tell someone i'm too tired to help them move a couch? it must be the woke mind virus making me a communist work abolitionist so i have more time to murder infants! like i just. i don't have the mental fortitude to spend my entire life constantly micromanaging even more than i already do on the off chance that i end up getting some girl killed because i trip on a moving train, bump into some guy, and then it's "fucking babytrans rapists trying to feel me up" or whatever
>i hope you see yourself in a better light
ultimately thinking the way i do about myself keeps me useful to people, and it's always better to be useful to everyone else
i only really see myself as a vessel anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i'll likely be dead within ten years it's no biggie
nice of you to bother though, sorry for wasting your time

>>40635061
>I know it doesn't end overnight. But like, it lessens over time, doesn't it? Like little to no sex drive after a few years? No more spontaneous erections?
It get's rid of the MALE sex drive sweety. Which is an aweful thing to have and I don't miss it at all.
The female orgasm is holy fucking shit ZOMGWTFBBQSAUCE. It takes me half an hour to recover my sense after I'm fucked right.

>>40635061
No more spontaneous erections doesnt mean no libido?
Libido =/= erections
You just jerk it in other ways

>>40621937 (OP)
>>40621956
>>40621984
Transitioning helps other people. By improving my own mood I have more space to help others. Have some optimism.

>>40635361
you didn't waste my time. i love to listen. i hope you survive the next ten years if it's what you truly want anon

>>40635492
to be completely honest i'm not fussed either way if i survive or anything? not necessarily in an active ideation sense but more in a "foreshortened perception is a bitch, i spent most of my childhood thinking i wouldn't make it to this age, and honestly i feel scammed" sense lmao

>>40621937 (OP)
Don't really care, their life their choice. But I do find that most people take transitioning as an excuse to become far more insufferable human beings.
You can say it's the hormones, or whatever you like, but the results are the same. They had some social awareness and restraint before, they become openly hostile, erratic and unpleasant after. To me it seems less like a loss of someone you know and more the revealing of who they were all along, and in my experience that was usually an antisocial narcissist.

>>40623799
this is your first funny post

>>40636510
you're an actual faggot, please die.

>>40636526
wtf lmao i thought it was chatgpt

>>40636410
that's totally a thing - i think the term is passive suicidality or something? it's hard to google i just get the suicide helpline stuff. but that second part is a common reaction to sustained trauma (cptsd and the like); i totally relate to being like 12 expecting to be dead by 16, 16 expecting to be dead by 20, it's really scary. you just constantly expect to die in some vague way it really fucks with your agency

>>40635061
>I know it doesn't end overnight. But like, it lessens over time, doesn't it? Like little to no sex drive after a few years? No more spontaneous erections?
I mean the male sex drive does pretty much end over night. I can still stimulate myself to give myself an erection and orgasm, but no cum comes out, and I don't like doing this because I feel gross afterwards anyways (and I felt like this before taking HRT).
From what I've heard, it's that a female sex drive develops over time. You don't get erect and jack off to orgasm anymore, and your breasts also become sensitive in the same way.

>>40621937 (OP)
Watching a trans friend change is one thing, with its own challenges. But even worse is dating a repper or babytrans. Falling in love with a person who hates their own self. Loving aspects of them that they perceive as flaws. Watching them turn into someone else. And especially in the case of transfems, their sex life with their partner will always suffer due to libido loss and shrinkage. It’s not an intentional hurt but trans people can put their partners through pure torture and anguish. It’s not your partner’s fault that you are still figuring things out. I don’t think trans people should date until several years of HRT are completed and their social transition is done.

>>40638334
Hey look a "radical feminist" who requires unpaid performative penis-work from her partner. Selfish ableist scum.
>wahh my partner isn't paying attention to me its Neglect Rape.

>>40625206
noah lol

>>40638488
I’m a cis male retard. Look you can call it “unpaid work” or whatever, however you slice it you are refusing to meet your partner’s needs. Nobody’s gonna stop you from transitioning, even your partner can’t. But don’t be surprised when they leave you because you decided you wanted to be someone else. If transition is your number one goal, great but you’re not entitled to a loving relationship. You’re making yourself harder to date.

>>40639053
So you are a cis male who cares deeply about a transfemmes penis. Are you claiming to be a gay male bottom who's top decided to troon out? Otherwise if you are the top, or just a straight cis male, this doesn't effect you at all and you are just concern trolling.

i bet youre secretly a tranny inside

>>40623803
would you say that to a diabetic?

>>40621937 (OP)
we dont exist to make you happy. you should be glad someone you care about is finally able to take the steps to improve her life instead of whining like a little bitch about "muh friend is gone"

>>40639110
I don’t date people on the basis of gender. I like any genital configuration and I’m a switch. The issue is that feminizing transition always results in some degree of sexual dysfunction and/or libido loss. Biological males and females can have strong sex drives, but consistently among transfemmes they have sexual dysfunction, as I said, making them harder to date.

You need to stop fucking saying that someone’s partner transitioning doesn’t affect them. It does. You sound like a true rapehon and an incel insinuating that someone has to date you despite you voluntarily fucking up your bodily functions. As I said you can do whatever you want but you aren’t entitled to keeping your partner a prisoner to your new self.

>>40639236
>consistently among transfemmes they have sexual dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction is a symptom of gender dysphoria, and also age.

>you aren’t entitled to keeping your partner a prisoner to your new self.
Sweety "my husband is transgender" is not grounds for a divorce. You're right the partners feelings do matter, you're wrong that that gives them any rights. It is a VERY common story that trans women stay repressed because they are being forced to live as men by their partners. That's not a healthy happy life for either partner, repressed trans women are a danger to themselves and others.

Yes, it can be painful when someone you love transitions. And that's something that we as a community are getting better at helping people deal with. But the language you're using is to blame the trans woman for being trans, and that's not okay.

>>40621953
He may as well say any mental illness isnt real because theres no mentalillnessium causing it

He doesnt have dysphoria so theres nothing wrong with me misgendering him since it wont cause him any suffering :^)

>>40638334
i don't understand reppers who date but cmon man let babytrannies date they need it more than anyone

>>40638239
>passive suicidality
huh i honestly had no idea this was a thing
i mean a part of that is because you can't really just google "suicide" because one trillion alarm bells go off at even the implication
>i totally relate to being like 12 expecting to be dead by 16, 16 expecting to be dead by 20
i'm so sorry you're going through that anon it really isn't fair that you should have to feel that way
>you just constantly expect to die in some vague way it really fucks with your agency
honestly that whole thing has to be like one of the single biggest things that's kind of fucked me over, even if it's my own fault
like every time i'm in a situation where i could arguably make things better for myself i kind of just start thinking i'd be a terrible idea because like, i'll be dead within a couple of years anyway, so there's really no actual point in it
unfortunately i keep not dying which just means i'm in a slow downward spiral in terms of basically everything else lmao

>>40621937 (OP)
>Because it does.
BASED TRANNY