Thread 40679280

I'm slowly coming to terms I might be trans, what's the point? The world hates trans people, judge them, they keep fucking with them, just living normally is already a chore and being trans would just add to it. What's the point of transitioning? At least right now I am a normal dude, I don't have to add even more bullshit to my life. It really does feel like repressing whatever feelings I have would be the best option right now. At least I won't be visible.
I wouldn't even look good, I'm already fat, technically already have boobs, literally no point.

> At least right now I am a normal dude
but you arent though.
> feel like repressing whatever feelings I have would be the best option right now
you will make yourself crazy and end up hating yourself

>>40679291
I already kind of do, hell I'm still confused about what i'm actually feeling too. It's all complicated, and weird, and I have no idea what I want or what I am.

It seems so much easier for everyone else, they know they want to be a woman. They know what they want. I don't.

>>40679317
> It seems so much easier for everyone else
thats how i felt also.
> they know they want to be a woman. They know what they want. I don't.
why do you think you are trans?

>>40679403
I've always wanted to be more androgynous, I've always felt "meh" about being a dude, and more recently as friends have been transitioning I've started to imagine if I did, and realized I probably wouldn't be against it, I wouldn't mind boobs, I'd probably want to keep my dick as I don't feel bad about it, but otherwise I don't really feel I'd be against the other changes.
And since I'm thinking about it more, I'm also starting to wonder if I'd even want to use fem pronouns too. But who knows? I'm probably clinging to anything that would fit "change" because I'm already feeling bad.

>>40679280 (OP)
If you're British or American you're fucked

>>40679425
I'm not, thank god.

>>40679418
> I'm also starting to wonder if I'd even want to use fem pronouns too
would your friends you fem pronouns for you if you asked them?
> I probably wouldn't be against it, I wouldn't mind boobs, I'd probably want to keep my dick as I don't feel bad about it, but otherwise I don't really feel I'd be against the other changes.
would you not mind if these changes occurred or would your prefer the changes to the effects of testosterone?

>>40679437
Sure, hell they offered, I just still feel weird about the idea, someone using them for me (I obviously don't mind using them, as a few of my own friends are trans)

And to your second question, I guess I'd be happy with them, since I want to be more androgynous, these would help that, and I don't particularly feel enthused about being a dude in the first place, either

>>40679461
> I want to be more androgynous
how would you feel if you didnt end up looking too feminine to be androgynous? as to your first point yea its weird at first especially when you dont pass. but after a few months of she/her-ing from people close to me i noticed that the he/him-s hurt a little more

>>40679485
What do you mean? If I looked more feminine than androgynous?
If this, then I guess I wouldn't mind either, thinking about it more it's probably more "I don't wanna look masc" rather than "I wanna look androgynous, heh

>>40679418
>another autistic nerd thinking he needs to transition because his friends did
just dont

>>40679496
> probably more "I don't wanna look masc"
you would most likely benefit from taking estrogen. you should talk to one of your trans friends

>>40679502
This whole thread is about me probably not going to transition, but what are your reasons other than "don't"?

>>40679505
I did, but it's kind of a mess and not knowing what I want either doesn't help. Also generally just having to then live with the "trans" label, having to get hurt personally by everyone who hates trans people, knowing so many people and countries would want me dead for it. It's a lot.

>>40679519
> Also generally just having to then live with the "trans" label
> knowing so many people and countries would want me dead for
yeah it sucks idk what advice to give you :(.
> I did, but it's kind of a mess
would you mind saying more?
>not knowing what i want either doesnt help.
when i stopped repping the thing i kept focusing on was that i wanted the effects of estrogen and disliked the effects of testosterone. drop labels, drop social expectations, drop what youre “supposed” to feel. if you dislike testosterone and prefer estrogen then you should get on estrogen. everything else is kind of secondary. maybe this is unhelpful since im not strictly a binary trans woman but i think a lot of reppers would improve their lives if they looked at it as a medication change rather than a lifestyle change (yeah i know they are closely linked)

>>40679558
I guess it's a mess because of what I don't know, I obviously feel bleh about being a dude, but it's not as if I've thought about it that much over the years, it's just a dull "feels bad" but nothing that for example makes me cry or that I constantly think about as I've seen some people talk about

Ultimately I'm just a dude right now and it's just so much easier to just not do anything, hell I feel like as positive as I am with the trans gals I see online asking if they pass, I'd just look bad and weird if I even tried.

I don't even know if I'd want to be a woman, or nb, or such because I just don't know what pronouns or what would make me feel better, it's all a mess, and I wish it was a clear "I want ___" rather

>>40679596
> it's just a dull "feels bad" but nothing that for example makes me cry
i didnt cry much pre hrt and after being in e for a bit ive come to realize that i was pretty disconnected from my emotions before i had started.
> that I constantly think about as I've seen some people talk about
does it “go away but then keep coming back” and if so for how long? i would experience waves of dysphoria where i would be able to ignore it completely for weeks-months at a time but the feeling always came back.
> I'd just look bad and weird if I even tried
cis guys dont think like this btw
> I wish it was a clear "I want ___"
you want to be more androgynous and you dont want to look masculine

>>40679634
Honestly even entertaining E is very recent, like a couple of days recent, but I guess usually I just don't think about it. I'm already fat, so hiding my body isn't new, since I also feel bad about that. Obviously, since slowly thinking about it, I've been thinking about it more, maybe i'll think about it more as the months go by too.

And what do you mean with "cis guys don't think like this"? Like they don't care about looking good?

>>40679653
if they every think of themselves presenting femininely its as a joke so they dont actually feel bad about not looking pretty like a woman.
as for the e, its a choice you have to make. give it some thought but dont be the only thing preventing your from transitioning if thats what you want.

>>40679671
Yeah, fair enough. How long have you been on E? How did it happen for you? How is it now?

>>40679678
1yr 3months. it took a lot of questioning about whether or not i wanted to potentially fuck up my entire life for something i wasnt too sure i would actually like. finally i broke down and decided i would rather try it out than keep guessing as to how it might make me feel. im honestly in a lot better place mentally now than i was a year ago. i have my lows every now and again but they arent as bad and in my day to day ive noticed that im happier.

>>40679698
Do you "pass" if you don't mind the question? How has your life changed? Or people interacting with you? Did your family/friends accept you, or did they give you trouble?

The trans have higher chance of self-harm. If you gonna self-harm and cut yourself, letting a doctor do it in a medical experimental way might be novel. Change your gender to see how it is anyways because even after you change you can kys. Kys is the only way to go unless you like being a gender you are not born into after trying it.

>>40679704
> Do you "pass" if you don't mind the question
no i manmode
> How has your life changed
outwardly not all that much. inwardly i feel more satisfied with life.
> Or people interacting with you
i still present as a man so that hasnt changed.
> Did your family/friends accept you, or did they give you trouble?
i only have one close friend and they accepted me (they said they knew before i said anything but wanted me to bring it up). my family is pretty accepting 3/4 support, it helps that my sister has been out as a lesbian for years now. my brother doesnt like it but idc we are both adults and dont see each other often, i also didnt really like him before.

>>40679742
Are you planning to go full out or do you want to keep manmode? I've also thought about basically taking E but continuing to manmode basically forever, I guess only getting the "inward" changes and nothing socially, but dunno how possible it is

Sometimes being trans is like going from a man to the ugliest woman or from a woman to the weakest man.

>>40679757
> Are you planning to go full out or do you want to keep manmode
im a hopecel. i do plan on eventaully socially transition its just tough at the moment since people hate trannies right now and in particular they hate unpassing trans women who look masculine which is me.
> but dunno how possible it is
idk my ultimate goal to look more feminine will contradict manmoding. however it hasn’t happened yet and i probably wont notice it until i start being gendered female. some people get gendered female quickly while others manmode for years. its contextual and that make it difficult to know

>>40679801
I guess that's also what would happen for me, if I did take it. I'd keep presenting the same, until it would become impossible, I guess looking too feminine to be gendered "correctly". I truly do hope it will happen soon for you though, you deserve it. If I can't do it myself I can at least try to be positive towards others.

>>40679818
> I truly do hope it will happen soon for you though, you deserve it. If I can't do it myself I can at least try to be positive towards others.
thank you that is very kind of you <3. if you ever want to talk more i check /mmg/ most days and im always happy to talk and share my experiences. i understand how isolating it can be to feel like you are not able to discuss this stuff with anyone.

>>40679828
Thanks! I'll remember that, I don't have much experience about all of that, so it can't hurt to talk about it more!

>>40679280 (OP)
The point of transitioning is to make your life better - will teansitioning make your life better? Not just talking material things like job i mean yer brain. Does no tits make u sadder than being forced into being a street whore? For example.

>>40679425
Poor* rich people dont need jobs and can afford all the surgeries.

>>40679280 (OP)
>I'm slowly coming to terms I might be trans
oof a little late to the party

>>40680164
It probably would, though everything else around is making me wonder if it's worth it

>>40679280 (OP)
The hate is insanely over exaggerated because this site is infested with stormfront bots. Being trans is a normal thing that's been around for a long time and nobody cares.
Regardless, it's better for you to not transition and be a normal person who has biological children.
The only reason to mess with this stuff is if you can't have sex any other way than being fucked by a guy.
You don't ever become female through this you just waste a ton of money and end up sterilized. If you're already a useless fag it will make it easier to ensnare men and that's about all. If you like women just be a normal dude and father

>>40680553
I'm surprised your view is so negative of it. Did you decide not to transition then? Or you're not trans?

>>40679280 (OP)
Realized at 20 something is off, repressed for the last 5 years. It is what it is, man.

>>40679280 (OP)
where are from these pictures?

OP, I am similar to you. I desperately want a more androgynous/feminine appearance and have been thinking about starting HRT a lot throughout the past six months. One of the main triggers for me seriously considering HRT is that when I look at other men, especially older men who have begun to lose hair and have gross skin I feel disgusted. I don't want to be like that, I want to be pretty. My main issue now is that I feel that I want to remain a man socially but have the body of a woman. I fear that I won't be respected if I look like a woman and I'd be an outcast in the trans community for not fully transitioning.

>>40679280 (OP)
>what's the point?
there is no point, it's an issue you have and you should deal with it

take your HRT, retard

>>40679280 (OP)
The point is, if you have bad enough dysphoria that you'll kill yourself, it's better to try transitioning instead. It's not really meant to make your life easier.

>>40682384
I'm glad I'm not alone at least, even if I'm probably in the minority of people who feel like this, I feel seen

>>40682495
Well that makes sense, it's good I'm not there yet then

>>40682495
>It's not really meant to make your life easier.
how so? it literally is

>>40682742
>it's good I'm not there yet then
don't let it get to that point for no good reason or just because you're scared or feel like you're not "trutrans" enough
https://www.avitale.com/essays-details/?name=the-gender-variant-phenomenon--a-developmental-review-5

either you kill yourself after not having lived a life, or (worst case scenario) you are killed as a girl, dying as your true self. become a troon anon you wont regret it

>>40679317
nobody knows much of anything, but if you feel like a woman, be one

>>40679280 (OP)
You are agp

>>40679280 (OP)
You aren't trans. It isn't something you "come to terms with" and ppl with dysphoria would never say "what's the point in transitioning?" unless they were an inch away from killing themselves.

>>40679280 (OP)
ok then thats fine, dont transition
there isnt a 'point', its not about scoring points or winning an advantage in life, it's going to suck in many ways
it should be a need or yeah it's not for you

>>40684355
>no troon scotsman
fail

>>40679418
if your reaction to transition is "oh i wouldn't hate that" and not "oh i need that" then your dysphoria if you have any is probably not enough to justify transition.

>>40684432
You aren't a scotsman, retard. You're an american claiming to be a scotsman and a man claiming to be a woman. You will never be trans and you will never not be a retarded ass american. Words have meaning.

>>40679280 (OP)
This is a reasonable and smart take. I honestly think you would just be making yourself more miserable in the long run.

>>40684355
lol, literally what's the point in transitioning if you won't pass. you're stupid.

>>40684432
nice
>t scotsman

>>40684514
I never said there was, retard. The difference is an actual trans person would kill themselves if they were unable to pass. Learn to read

>>40684472
it was a joke to highlight the nature of your fallacy
>Words have meaning.
why is the OP not trans?

>>40684548
no, the pain of living every day in this state is the greatest form of self-harm. we need to punish ourselves for who we are for as long as possible. suicide is an unfair shortcut.

>>40684576
Because he doesn't have dysphoria.
>"I am a normal dude"
>"I've always felt "meh" about being a dude"
>"recently as friends have been transitioning I've started to imagine"
>"want to keep my dick as I don't feel bad about it"
rapid onset autistic trooning with no mention of any dysphoria. next.

>>40684648
how do you know the OP doesn't have dysphoria?

>>40684661
>>40684648

>>40684672
what about that indicates a lack of dysphoria? use your words

also rogd etc are not real

>>40684661
nta bug he describes no distress over being male, just thinking about trooning after some friends did. literally transgendertrend dot com propaganda

lotsa self-proclaimed trutrannies and chuds itt. just troon if you want to OP, not much is gonna happen anyways.

>>40684687
rogd isn't but roat is, you should know since you have it

>>40684694
but OP is clearly distressed and unwilling to accept being a troon despite obviously being one

>>40684706
prove it

>>40684707
>despite obviously being one
obvious how? to me it's pretty obvious OP is cis.

>>40684730
cis people don't feel this discomfort with their gender and question it like this

>>40684742
he never described any discomfort with his gender. and cis people can in fact question their gender

>>40684742
read through again and OP is probably nonbinary. i just can't relate to OP much at all as a trans woman but they seem to be dysphoric over not being androgynous as opposed to not being a woman.

if you're already thinking
> i'm just a dude
and dysphoric, there is no cure. it won't go away. it will never be an "I am a woman" always just "I wish I was a woman"
you should still try to do something tho, whether it be trooning or chadrepping - i'd advise for trooning tho... sometimes you may be able to look in the mirror and not want to neck it immediately

Lol at all the trooners trying to convince him to troon and be as miserable as they are

>>40684762
>he never described any discomfort with his gender
what
lol

what is this whole thread to you if not literally someone struggling with their gender identity?

>>40684789
>OP is probably nonbinary
could be, this shit all occurs on a spectrum

>>40684802
i'm literally just as miserable as i was pre-trans just with a bit more male attention and a few less body image issues... this shit is not about what ppl think it is.

>>40684803
Please quote where OP describes discomfort with his gender, then.
lol
>what is this whole thread to you if not literally someone struggling with their gender identity?
a confused autistic guy wanting to fit in with his friends

>>40684830
in the very first fucking post
>>40679280 (OP)
>I'm slowly coming to terms I might be trans
>It really does feel like repressing whatever feelings I have would be the best option right now

>>40684830
nta but
> I've always felt "meh" about being a dude
> I wouldn't mind boobs
> I don't really feel I'd be against the other changes
these are not cis thoughts.

>>40684848
those are not trans woman thoughts. those are cis man who hasn't had to consider gender seriously thoughts or nonbinary thoughts. a majority of cis men when asked not only wouldn't feel bad if they had boobs, but say they would be happy.

>>40684841
Where in those quotes did he describe discomfort? I think you have a learning impediment mayhaps.
>>40684848
That isn't discomfort, feeling "meh" about your gender is exactly how cis people describe it. They're indifferent to their gender because they've never felt discomfort. Not minding the idea of having a certain body part is completely different from distress CAUSED by a body part or secondary sex characteristics.

>>40684873
> a majority of cis men when asked not only wouldn't feel bad if they had boobs, but say they would be happy.
are you a coping repper? are you projecting agp? are you a bitterhon? wtf are you on about, obviously they would kek
> inb4 but then they'd all be trans
food for thought isn't it...

>>40684879
dumbass, it's literally a post about being trans and not being comfortable being a guy but also not being comfortable with no longer repressing, what are they repressing or why do they think they might be trans? (in case you can't read the context, hint: scroll down from the OP)

>>40684879
meh =/= okay with it
'meh' clearly carries a negative connotation.

>>40684897
>are you a coping repper
no ive been on hrt for 7 years, and when i was repping my thoughts weren't "i would be okay with boobs" or "i wouldn't mind being on estrogen" they were "i wish i could be a girl but i can't" and when i learned about hrt it was "wow i NEED that"
the neutrality of it all is something i can't relate to even a little bit as a trans woman, ive wanted to be a girl since i was 5 and could barely see my male body as me after puberty started, and the second i found out i could be a girl i took it.

>>40684873
>>40684928
>someone else has a different experience than me therefore they are not valid
let me guess, you're also in favor of RLE?

>>40684910
I discredited all the reasons he gave for thinking he might be trans in the very post you just responded to. Maybe there's a link between faketrannism and illiteracy.
>>40684927
No it does not, but nice try.

>>40684944
>I discredited all the reasons he gave for thinking he might be trans
no, you didn't, you just denied the OP's experience and word to project your assumptions

why are you like this? you're not trans, are you?

>>40684937
i am >>40684789
i think OP is nonbinary and if they wanna take hormones that's their decision. but yeah i think you do need to have dysphoria about not being a woman to be a trans woman.
>i assume you're in favor of RLE
no, i actually jumped through a couple hoops myself to avoid it.

>>40684928
it's not neutrality, it's apathy. it's nihilism, a complete and utter meaningless experience. i wouldn't care if i walked across some train tracks and got run over... in fact, i played with the devil in that regard a few times...
not everyone's experience is like yours, not everyone is full of hope. some ppl have seen too much, have had too many experiences, are too depressed to imagine a life where things are good. we wake up every day and look for a reason to keep going, but there is none. we keep living because it's what's expected of us - not because life is worth living.
some ppl are more broken than you could ever imagine and at least getting a semblance of normalcy is the greatest gift we could ever hold in our hands, although we know it's only temporary and a delusion.

I don't understand why we always skip androgyny, or at least, identify as non-binary but using chosen pronouns

>>40684952
> no, i actually jumped through a couple hoops myself to avoid it.
funny, why? if you want to be a woman, why don't you just go out the door and are one? it's not that hard.

>>40685072
women already are women, there is no want

>>40685204
i know, she said this THOUGH
> my thoughts [...] were "i wish i could be a girl but i can't"
so she's just as faketrans as i am & i hate that she's still gatekeeping despite the fact. literally Ernst Röhm level's of pick-me-ness

>>40684992
i think i may have just been hung up on the wording, because to me it sounded neutral while what you're describing is both extremely negative AND something i relate to! that's how i felt before i transitioned. i wasn't optimistic, i wanted to kill myself. i could see myself having an easier time because i was extremely naive at the time. not sure what to add here i think you're right and im sorry OP
>>40685072
because i wanted to be a woman not a man in women's clothing. i think starting hrt first is reasonable. ive been girlmoding since 2018 though

>>40685266
you really can't imagine a gender dysphoric kid who had had the immutability of sex bashed into their head for a decade having that thought?