Thread 40687981

And devs, I promise I’m not attention grabbing or whoring <3

I’m in dear need of help and Jesus is with me along with his prayers but I am starting to get positive daydreams of when I was on medicine and it’s starting to disable me in the real world (basically autopilot)

I tried working out but the reminder of what I used to look like compared to how weak and frail Iooking I am now; removes the motivation completely. I met a girl and we date and at first it helped but I’m just back to similar thoughts and feelings before I even started HRT in the first place ):

I just don’t know what to do anymore

>devs
I'm sure I would have been able to continue repressing but people around me kept reminding me about it, so I guess cut off those that explicitly remind you of it?

You want to detransition because now that you've tricked a girl you want to dyke out but youre dkying out already.

>>40687981 (OP)
what did you look like before nigger, show me now.

>>40687981 (OP)
You’re very handsome imo

>>40688006
I deleted discord, all my pictures, and even removed everything from my closet.

I just am not understanding where this feeling is coming from? I’m religious and hold god in my heart dearly and so I’d have to imagine it’s not a succubus that’s controlling me. I also don’t watch anything that triggers me or anything like that nonsense. I avoid topics that even resemble an inkling of a similarity of that path and I don’t talk to this one guy specifically so that my body won’t get shaky and cause me to fold around him. I even tried wearing a beard in front of him one day at a party but I just caved and giggled like a joke.

And on top of that, my heart genuinely hurts now and I have no idea why and this was 4-5 months ago when I started dropping the medicine. I just feel stuck or lost maybe?

>>40688024
I didn’t trick her. I tried to tell myself to move on with this and be normal and date a girl like a regular guy would in hopes this would disappear.

>>40688036
Here (I inserted picture)

>>40688037
I do appreciate that, thank you <3

>>40688041
I’ve heard the stories unfortunately :/

>>40688072
ngl bro you have that zest to you anyways. Trooned or not trooned. I don't think anyone is going to look at you and think this is a straight man.

well just take care of yourself in the least anon. best wishes

>>40688099
This can’t be entirely true. How would I have gotten a biological girlfriend then?

Wait youre not a pooner?

>>40688119
idk bro but you set off my gaydar you just look a little zesty. sometimes women don't care if a dude is bi or something, or they are a little zesty themselves. It's all good brother

>>40688131
I was on hormones for 3.6 years. I’m sure that would explain it.

>>40688142
logically yes, once people start trooning out, but they are manmoding, they just look like faggots to me.

>>40688158
I stopped hormones 4-5 months ago though so those soft angels should be gone by now no?

>>40688126
No I’m actually biologically a man that tried transitioning to female for 3.6 years and stopped 4-5 months ago because of my height and religious promise

The world has lost an angel Kindle but I wish you luck in manhood. You can do it.

>>40688198
Do you have titties? Can you have children? Did the hormones permanently wreck you?

>>40688224
Yes, never got tested, and I think so because of my heart beginning to experience painful throbs that have no recognizing pattern

>>40688224
I have a vid of his titties they were nice

idk why man but I feel for you, I just hope you are ok.

>>40688252
Yikes, I forgot about those

>>40688269
Bless your heart friend <3

Does your girl know? You do know its better to be a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven etc.

>>40688329
Don't worry they are never going to be shared without your permission and I can delete them if you want.

>>40688348
She does and I told her that I’m permanently suppressing this. I know what I feel but sometimes I would have thoughts of if this was wrong and that was enough to make me stop this path.

>>40688364
You dont sound stable. Do you need me to fuck some sense into you while your girl watches?

>>40688364
listen to your thoughts, this path is wrong. transition now and be happy

>>40688358
That’s actually super sweet of you, genuinely bless your heart but I don’t mind either which way, honest <3

>>40688388
I’ve dreamed of a man using me so many times to the point where I feel like the hot intense control and tingles wouldn’t feel gratifying in real life anymore. Kind of like it was just a romanticized thought

And I’m in New Mexico if you’re serious. You know what I look like too so you know where to find me. Not a threat just a “I know it will never happen so entertaining it would be fun”

>>40688394
When I was transitioning, I got bad thoughts here and there and that’s when I decided it was time to stop and detransition. Srry if the other sentence was confusing

>>40688424
Actually i live in a grand state west of there.
Why do not take meds while presenting male?

>>40688500
I guess I’m just lying to myself really?
I’m tall and handsome. My dreams of being a nurturing mother while blending in with society and just existing stopped when my height finally came into focus.

>>40687981 (OP)
Stay strong, brother.

These fantasies and feelings are a trick from the enemy.

1 Peter 5:8-9 "Be sober and vigilant. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for [someone] to devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in faith, knowing that your fellow believers throughout the world undergo the same sufferings."

I will pray three rosaries for you friend.

>>40688556
Inspiring, I'm going to pray for OP too.

>>40688518
I don't know you from adam and im not terminally online so consider that when i say: the picture of you in the hat looks like you. The picture in op looks like a woman wearing a costume. At this point you should recognize the existence of both an eternal soul and God that is good means it doesnt matter one way or another if you take drugs or not. It kind of seems like you presenting male is vanity. Even your aww schucks typing seems affected. If you have a girlfriend anyway, the stakes either way are zero. Good luck. Youre hot but from twice mentioning height probably taller than me so i couldnt trick you into a sexual relationship. Try relaxing.

>>40688556
Thank you so much. Truly appreciate you and your message.

>>40688424
No fucking way dude, you are in my state.

I mean, I'm not entertaining this fantasy, it's just I don't often find people on 4chan who are here. So, that's cool

>>40688611
What are you doing on here?
And im curious where you live now

>>40688624
I appreciate you stopping by nonetheless

>>40688640
wait who is sedrik? you aren't op... or are you op?

>>40688119
i agree with that anon too, your aura is giving off too much zest. some women are into that and it's okay, but don't expect men to treat you like you're one of them.

>>40688654
I’m op. My name used to be kindle but this is my real name

>>40688665
I just have proper grammar skills and I’m sure that’s what the hang up must be

>>40688690
oh cool, cool. I live in Albuquerque. I get the feeling you live down south.

>>40688711
You do not live in Albuquerque. Omg. I live in the four corners.. wow what

>>40688734
kek, my guess was totally off.

>>40688750
But wait, what are you doing in a place like this?

>>40687981 (OP)
literally retroon you were so pretty

>>40688780
lgbtq, ah boy hahah yeah, uh I have some chaser tendencies, I guess they come up every now, and then. Uh, but also idk I like talking to people on this board.

>>40688690
Your parents did this to you by naming you that. You were always going to be an effeminate ponce.

In a place like this hmm honestly I'm really lonely so I drift through boards.....

>>40688798
No way. He looks better now

>>40688798
You’re very sweet friend, but I just don’t know if I have something like that in me again to start hormones again.

>>40688811
Oh haha well it seems like go for the actually pretty feminine looking types.. good for you (; speculating of course

>>40688813
How is the name Sedrik effeminate?

>>40688820
*Hugs*

>>40688840
this person (>>40688820) hates you btw

>>40688846
Oh I know.. I felt that in my soul the MOMENT it was comment right after someone saying I’m pretty.

I know I have haters lurking here, bless your heart chica fr

>>40688846
I’m a cis gay guy. I don’t hate him, I just like men. Especially men with red hair. Red is the rarest color

>>40688840
here add me on discord if you want: cal04830
I just generally like talking to people.

I am gonna step away for a bit, hopefully it's up later I just want to chat.

>>40688860
My apologies. I just see similar texting styles in other transwomen in here that are or were jealous of my beauty and made every effort to spite me and degrade my value.

>>40688865
I added you <3

>>40688871
I enjoy your company and I want you to know that just from these brisk conversations. Let that mean something <3

>>40687981 (OP)
why is every detranny so weird
you guys all talk in the same sort of soulless way
idk how to explain it. it's like you are pretending to be human.

>>40687981 (OP)
in 6-7 years you will be balding w/ 5 o'clock shadow and shoving a dildo up your ass in an amazon anime skirt and saying nyaa on all fours in a room with pink lights and a gaming pc

>>40689139
Well it just feels like something we thought was a confident life decision suddenly was stripped away from us by a hidden truth and that sucks to think about.

>>40689168
That’s not fair to say.

>>40689139
not op but idk, i lost my sense of identity as a child, i think maybe thats why i want to troon, some futile attempt to gain an identity by doing something crazy because my personality was built on sand

>>40687981 (OP)
do drugs

>>40687981 (OP)
Hey anon, can I ask what eventually pushed you to detrans? I'm coming up on a similar time on HRT and I'm struggling, but I don't feel like detransition is really the answer. When I boymode, I just feel really unwell and unhappy. I know you're admitting to feeling the desire to retransition, but I want to know what's holding you back from doing so? Has your life improved since going back to being male?

>>40689874
My height and religion honestly :/
And I think maybe a little bit about my frame but I was told I looked fine so I let that feeling go