Thread 40733041

QOTT: Would you date a genderswapped version of yourself?
last thread: >>40696800

No i would date another long haired metal boy though

Fact of the day:
Fuck you. Suffer. You deserve it. You are not worth it. You deserve the pain and suffering you have and you don’t deserve any of the love and attention and good fortune.
Die

>>40733041 (OP)
qott: nah I only date men
>>40733208
i knew it :3

>>40733208
No one deserves anything
Or everyone deserves everything
Or a combination between those two
Or none of the above
Etc

>>40733224
This is true for every single other occasion
But this is universal truth
Fuck you specific

>>40733041 (OP)
Yeah but only if she feminizes me. I would love to dissect how differently our minds are.

Continuing my thought on >>40733386 that there needs to be a place for those affected with sissy desires to a terminal level and repressing versus what I imagine most people here are doing which is just a bunch of HSTs and AGPs denying themselves.

I’m a sissy uwu
Take your pills retards! UwU
Hehe

>>40733208
trvke

What specific effort have you ever put in towards trying to embrace being a feminine man, perhaps even one who enjoys intimacy with other men as a man yourself, rather than clinging to a puerile fantasy of female transformation?

>>40733041 (OP)
a genderswapped version of myself would probably end up being a femrepper

>>40733041 (OP)
>Would you date a genderswapped version of yourself?
no
besides the fact that i'm obnoxious and wouldn't like dating myself i'd just be jealous of her 24/7

>>40733041 (OP)
my clone and i would fight to the death for the right to be the girl version

>>40733041 (OP)
take your HRT, retards
>QOTT
yes, before and after hormones

>>40734158
too scary

>>40734158
>yes before hormones
you have too much self-confidence to empathize with a repper

>>40733041 (OP)
no, i would kill myself at the sight of that

>>40734158
i started hrtrepping and it doesnt matter, im indistinguishable from a normal man except all my measurements are at the worst 5-10%
i still feel like a man without an ounce of fembrain and i cant cry

>>40734158
i'm just an agamp who wants to be a futa

>>40734221
it's sorta interesting because I feel like a lot of people here have complained about not being able to cry, I have the exact opposite problem where it's my reaction 95% of the time

>>40734158
I would if I were to have the grit and resolve to keep taking it

>>40734158
Hrt makes me feel worse

>>40734374
i cant cry at all, im just the ultimate male soul with dysphoria, most trans people are truly the gender they wish to be im just a freak man with a mental illness

>>40733710
i suck a dick now and then

>>40733710
tends to be a turn off for the guy when I'm extremely insecure and don't want to be touched
been a few years though so maybe need to try again and I'll be more normal this time

lads, I decided I can't repress anymore and I'm going to start small doses of HRT at the least.

I've been here since cureanon but I no longer have the strength to keep doing this. I hate this mental illness, but it's over for me as a repper. goddamnit fuck I tried so hard too.

oh well

>>40733041 (OP)
>Would you date a genderswapped version of yourself?
No I hate myself too much for that and I'd hate her even more for having what I want.

>>40733432
>>40733386
I'm not sure there's a sharp dividing line. Like I can get off on 'sissy' hentai since the ultimate result is generally becoming a girl/nearly indistinguishable from one and obviously being a girl is a nice fantasy for someone who wants to be one. But I don't vibe with the femininity as shame/humiliation part of it, and unlike people who ARE just sissy fetishists, the desire doesn't go away after fapping. In fact, afterwards I always feel really guilty/disgusted with myself for looking at sissy shit because I feel like it's tainting and warping what is a very real and very non-horny desire most of the time and in its origin.

>>40734158
But I'm in my 30's it's too late.

>>40735708
too bad, do it anyway

>>40735732
ignored >>40734221 because even on hrt its very over for some people, i still feel like a husk without a personality and hrt makes me feel worse
"take hrt retard !!!" stop

>>40733710
everything fem I do makes a horrible contrast with my masculine, ogre-like visage.
>>40735451
RIP, I've been here since the cure / spartanon / motherbat days and I'm pretty sure we're the last of our kind.

>>40735682
>"I'm not sure if there's a sharp dividing line"
>proceeds to explain that there is such a sharp dividing line

>>40735764
If you can keep repressing do it. I wish I could keep going. every day I'm too fucking miserable to do anything. Tried all sorts of meds. I wish there were a way out.

>>40735732
I want to but at the same time it's depressing how I missed my chance to pass.

>>40735773
The only thing that can be interpreted as a sharp dividing line is this line:
>the desire doesn't go away after fapping
Unless you mean to imply the guilt about what amounts to sexualizing my own trauma and longing as a cope makes me trutrans or something.

>>40735803
Ok maybe I was being an asshole. But I think it going away is something subjective. Perhaps. When I masturbate it's like I am alleviated of the pain, the problem is that it returns.

>>40736236
My point was really just that being horny about it doesn't instantly make you a 'fake', so it's a blurry line between people who are horny about but really are trans, and people who are horny about it but only as a fantasy and don't really have GD. It's blurry because how much is fetish and how much is GD filtered through a fetish isn't always clear to a person. I then went on to express my personal experience to contrast it with yours.

>>40736347
Well then there should be a gen for people that think they're on the fetish side and feel bad about it.

>>40735451
the next stage of cope is to call yourself an hrt repper. anything to avoid being a troon i guess

i love repping, i love the fact the person i am inside will never be able to live.

>>40733041 (OP)
I just might, AGP is autosexuality after all.

i wish i was a loli, theres nothing worse than being an adult male

>>40733041 (OP)
I would just kms since now my consciousness gets to have a female body but I need to die to switch the POV. The longer my male body consciousness stays around the worst things would become as the consciousnesses become more different from separate experiences.

>QOTT
no, I wouldn't date in general, and for that specific scenario, I don't think it'd be a very comfortable experience, I'd just feel jealous of my genderswapped self for being female, and frankly they could do a lot better than me
>>40733208
I already knew this

Being male doesn’t feel so bad when you remove all your body hair

>>40738194
i'm at the age where i notice more hair than before and am terrified of waking up one day with back hair

>>40738194
>tfw mediterranean genetics
so much hair
everywhere

its ok to be hairy and feminine and male

>>40738243
no it's not

>>40738206
It's not great.

>>40738244
yes it is!

>>40733208
Better than a pinkpiller

i want to kill myself.

>>40738306
me too anon

i hate men
it should be illegal to look like a man (hons included)

make me a girl make me a girl make me a girl make me a girl

>tfw repper that makes 300k a year
literally john 50

I was wanting to play a new game tonight (with female character obv) but I accidentally got too drunk and I don't wanna start now and screw it up so I have to wait until tomorrow or later tonight probably

>>40738243
it's gross
I'm not feminine anyway I just want to be femaleish not feminine you stupid retarded gay incel nigger
get aids already

I really messed up didn't I

i wish i could be okay just being some agp transbian

>>40735764
I'm a femrepper who's been here since the Cureanon days, and I'm still going strong.

Does anyone here know what happened to Crystalia?

>>40738757
>I was wanting to play a new game tonight (with female character obv)
this is me except i made my character and started for a day but i won't get my pc setup again until next week so i'm just waiting until i can get back to self inserting as a woman i will never be

about to start crying because i'm not a woman again
holy shit

> see passoid who transitioned at 17
> day ruined
> see cishon
> we're so back
> see another passoid
> I'm kms tonight
> see another cishon
> we're so back

> be a man
> constantly think about how I'd like to be a woman
> could dress elegantly, would have access to actual fashion, would have nice long hair
> could bottom and sub easier
> despair about my caveman face
> hate male gender norms
> despise male fashion
> hate that I'm physically larger than 99% of women

How is this condition called? Is there a cure? I am not trans and I am not AGP. I just wish I could be a woman even though I'm a man.

Just want to make sure i'm on the same page with everyone

repressor = Someone who has gender dysphoria but doesn't take HRT
tranny = Someone who has gender dysphoria but does take HRT

because I see people say they are repressing but they don't have gender dysphoria which confuses me.

>>40740198
Non-dysphoric reppers are either coping or have mild dysphoria.

>>40738757
>with female character obv
God I hate how I'm such a fucking stereotype with this shit.
>Hey anon why do you always play a girl?
>Oh well haha girls are cute, I like how they play better, dressing them up is more fun haha
Yeah no I actually am a repressed troon. That fucking comic that used to get spammed on /v/ is right about me, and that pisses me off.

Despite taking HRT and transitioning I secretly wish I could stop taking it and be happy with being a man. I hate being dependent on meds. I hate being physically weak.

No one seems to get me. To me being trans was something that intruded on my normal consciousness. yes yes "Take your meds". I will fucking take them because I am unable to live the life I truly want - Being an independent person without a mental illness that ruins their life.

Being a tranny is such fucking ass. I want the cure. I want to go back.

>>40742544
this is why i detrooned desu

>>40740198
reppers are still trannies too, just the coward kind

>>40742631
I don't feel comfortable being called a tranny when I'm not transitioning, sort've like how I don't feel comfortable being referred to with female pronouns despite preferring them because I'm not transitioning (and if I was I'd still feel ashamed for wanting them if I didn't pass.)

>>40742661
oh, I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable, but maybe you should fucking deal with it like an adult and take your hormones you fucking retard

>>40740149
that's gender dysphoria mate. welcome to the club

>>40742544
>go back
to what? keeping your head buried in the sand?

>>40740149
Just wanna remind you all that men are allowed to have long hair. Most people will just think youre a metalhead

>>40742892
Feels like people on 4chan don't even read posts. It's just bots responding.

>>40743214
no, really, what do you think you could "go back" to that isn't entirely illusory or born of ignorance? this isn't something that just suddenly happened to you one day

>>40742631
What the point of taking e if you can just be beaten to death/hospital for looking not cuckservative enough? Not manly enough

>>40733041 (OP)
date the personification of my worst ongoing nightmare in my adult life. definitely not. the gender swapped version of myself is the outcome I never want to see. I feel like a scientist with amnesia trying to stop an experiment he created that isn't in his control anymore. keeping myself as nonbinary amab helps a bit when you have those letting the tv glow moments and makes them a bit more pleasant in that headspace. though even if they are subtle things that don't really mean much or aren't a sign of any real change that would frighten me, it still feels wrong. in my defiance I became the same blip on a statistic sheet I've tried to avoid since it started my only hope is finding all the connecting reasonings I'm this way and form some type of logic box in my mind so it doesn't progress anymore and hopefully move on

inviting reppers to
https://discord.gg/jfHftzDH
https://discord.gg/jfHftzDH

>>40741486
lmao same
good thing I mostly play singleplayer games alone in my room nowadays

i don't want to hurt

>>40743628
I've never made a 'cord before, not being anonymous sounds scary.
what's discussion on this server typically like?

>>40744219
>good thing I mostly play singleplayer games alone in my room nowadays
i can't wait until work gets off my back so i can have the free time to do exactly this next weekend

>>40733041 (OP)
Sure if swap details are controlled by my fantasy.

>>40743030
Not me, I have a vegeta hairline and I wouldn't want to look like a dude anyway.

Another reason why I'm kms.

Even cis guys have problems coping with losing hair. But it's brutal as a tranny.

>>40744274
You know what you get when you take “u” out of hurt anon?

>>40744684
it's not fair

i just need a bf who will tie me up and make fun of me for how much I like it when he hits me in bed, is that so much to ask for

>>40744309
This

>>40744684
waow

i'm going to cringepost for a minute
the only times i don't have overwhelmingly sad thoughts in my head about wanting to be a woman are when i'm sucking a dick or sometimes when i'm drunk. is this just 100% agp or can others relate?

>>40745371
yea I also feel that, although when I'm drunk it's more that I'm not as sad about it rather than having no thoughts. if it's agp idk not the expert on that

>>40745371
Sounds more like MEF to me than AGP but my chud psych is rusty

missed out on the chance to live as my authentic self and will die with nothing nothing in my heart but regrets award

august is the worst month to get some motivation to fix your shitty life.

>>40745763
>has the potential to fix their life
get the fuck out

>>40745589
Same

Anyone else secretly get a little pissed off when people refer to or treat you like a man despite the fact that you're a repper and don't do anything to present yourself as or look/act like a woman? Like there's some part of my brain that gets upset about it even though I have no right to.

>>40741451
Non dysphoric reppers are simply mentally ill and displacing it on transgenderism as a catch all. Likely the transformative aspect of it

>>40737856
>frankly they could do a lot better than me
The gender swapped version of you is LITERALLY you. They would have the same problems that you have. I swear anons think being a woman makes life into a literal neverending dream of happiness and joy and everything is effortlessly easy. Women and men are literally exactly the same and suffer the same and life is hard for us both. BUT i cant say this on 4chan without moids sperging so im out

>>40746123
>They would have the same problems that you have.
they wouldn't have the problem of not being a woman

>>40746123
Okay you got me
I don't want to be me
don't want to be broke fake tranz ima
I just want to be better version of me Jewish Hollywood American sex worker version of me

and it's doesn't matter being cis or tr or whatever gender it is
I just want my happy perfect life

>>40746123
>being a woman makes life into a literal neverending dream of happiness and joy and everything is effortlessly easy
but it does...

>>40746123
>I swear anons think being a woman makes life into a literal neverending dream of happiness and joy and everything is effortlessly easy.
I don't believe that but I would at least be happier wasting my time at my job.
I have to imagine myself as a woman to get myself through my day

>>40745991
yup thats me

>>40745991
honestly i was a little bit like this my whole life

>>40745991
it just makes me want to cry desu, I very rarely get mad at people

i wish dying wasn't this terrifying

>>40746704
safe travels anon
I'm jealous

>>40746732
i don't know if i'll do it, i thought about just becoming a full hikky and just rotting in my bed forever living on neetbux instead

god why can't i be a woman
i wish i could girlmode without being a disgusting freak

i'm starting to have wrinkles on my bottom eyelids at 23

>>40738243
You ever been bullied? Just don't meet right people yet
Or you just super rich/privileged westerner

It's not ok touch grass

thinking about how i would destroy my family if i transitioned

>>40738243
Even gay people hate feminine people

>>40747700
Same anon, I feel you

Obviously I'm completely unable to pass otherwise i'd consider trooning out, but even if I could I'd never be able to since it'd ruin my religious family's lives.

>>40747700
there's a nonzero chance my parents divorce if i transition and i think about it every time i consider doing it

My body is male
My brain is male
My mind is male
My soul is male
The way I talk is male
The intonations of my voice are male
The way I present myself is male
My future is male
My past is male
My love is male
The way I stand is male
The words I type is male
I’m male
In every sense
In every sense
In every sense
In every sense
In every sense
Male
Male
Male
This too is male
I’m male
I’m ok as a man
I enjoy this
I’m ok as a male
It is ok to be a male male
I’m a male

>>40748550
they're really supportive and love me but everyone has their limits
>>40748643
unironically this. my dad would probably have a panic attack, i'd go no contact with them if they can't accept it, and i destroy the family

>>40748737
What do you enjoy about being a man?

>>40746123
>The gender swapped version of you is LITERALLY you.
Men and women have different expectations, are treated differently because of those expectations, and think in subtly different ways, so to say that your genderswapped self would be literally you but with different chromosomes isn't the full story, as while that's true on some surface level, it's asinine to believe that my XY and XX selves would behave the same and have identical stations in life. Some problems would persist, but so many others wouldn't, and new problems completely unknown to my XY brain would also manifest.
The only possible way for my alternate-reality female self to truly have the same issues as me would be if they lived my whole life thus far as a man, then spontaneously wake up one day as a woman, because being born and growing up female will inevitably lead to countless differences, some drastic and others small, in things like socialization and mental state.

>anons think being a woman makes life into a literal neverending dream of happiness and joy and everything is effortlessly easy
As the anon you replied to, I absolutely don't think that, but it'd still be preferable. I only say my female self could do better than me because women are inherently more valuable in relationships (nothing to do with why I want to be a woman, by the way; just an observation), and the idea of ever being seen in a romantic light feels laughable as a contemptible balding sperg.

>>40749031
The manly outspoken swag
The no fucks given
The fact I’m real
The wind
Im invincible
Im invisible
I can do anything
Because I am manly man
Crush my enemies
Kill
And ofc the sex. Women and men alike live my dick
That crave it
I’m giving both what they want
And cum in their brains
Sex sex sex sex

BUMP!!

>>40750721
glomps u with my imaginary girl body

just spent like 6 hours laying awake in mental agony instead of sleeping because my bones are the wrong size and it's freaking me the fuck out

If you could press a button and instantly become a beautiful woman with a very small penis but you would also become chinese? Would you press the button?

I'm legitimately worried that this shit is eventually gonna make me have a psychotic break, but then again I've been able to hold this in my whole entire life without ever noticeably snapping so it'll probably be fine

>>40750943
显然是的

Things that help with dysphoria? Eating peanub nubber and saying the n-word quietly to myself.

>>40750943
Not being Chinese is more important than being pretty to me

I don't even belong here. I simply am not trans.
Trying out hrt only confirmed it by giving me reverse dysphoria.
All I need to do is accept that I will have to live the rest of my life as a man, no matter how much it makes me want to blow my brains out

im beta male i want to date ftm repper
but not the masculine ones, the short chubby ones with short hair.

>>40750943
what's the bad part?

the only thing worse than having dysphoria is having psuedo-dysphoria, i dont want to be a girl, im not attracted to men and yet every day since i was 12 ive wanted to be feminine but because im not trans i cant transition and just have to let testosterone destroy me.

go into any major city and just sit on a bench and watch the people go by, in the vast majority of cases anyone who isnt a literal child or teenager looks FUCKED up. homeless people, schizos talking to themselves, fat people, immigrants, busted old people of all varieties. life is so fucking grim and being a tranny is the ultimate vanity. omg i want to be a pretty bimbo woman just like the ones i goon to, then my life will be valuable. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN AND YOU WILL ONLY GET OLDER.

>>40751044
yeah exactly, like when i talk to trannies, they are actually feminine, they want to be women they have woman souls. if i took hrt i would just be an incel with tits. its not just my appearance my whole aura is male, its unchangeable, i have no internal femininity.

>>40751186
having a penis but its still an improvement

I think I use this as an easy excuse for being a human failure. I hardly have any GD but I can cope and say it is the root source of all my troubles.

>>40751461
I would settle for being an ugly woman

will going to med school fix me?

>>40751044
>>40751531
Same
I’m male to the core and beyond
My entire karmic cycle is male
Need to accept this and stop hrt

>>40751613
I feel like I've gaslight myself into thinking I'm dysphoric only to make up an issue to blame all of my failures on, but now I'm at the point where I can't undo the gaslighting

>>40750943
Uh, yeah? Who the fuck in repgen is going to be so damn patriotic they'd pass up the chance to, well, pass, out of nationalist hatred of Chinese people? That's insane to me.

>>40751435
If you feel like testosterone is destroying you, then that's just regular dysphoria

>>40752020
nta but its not regular dysphoria, i despise being a man but unlike actual trannies im a man, i have a male soul my manners are male i think like a male i cant change it no matter how i try, im not a woman stuck in the wrong body like most and my transition is a joke i just hope hrt will do something but it wont since i know im a man

>>40751853
I need to do the same. It really should not be as difficult as it is.
There is nothing about me that's not male, so I really ought to just be happy I fit the role so well.
The grass being greener on the other side is just one of my delusions

All this 'muh dysphoria is pseudo' posting feels like some kind of self-loathing cope to me.

>>40752108
Wrong
I’m nothing like a female and will never be and need to move on

>>40752053
Literally me
I need to stop hrt
I need to become
a real man

>>40751770
I wanted to be a vet growing up but eventually I lost the motivation, I wouldn't want any other lives in my hands when I can barely handle my own

>>40733041 (OP)
Anyone have a repsona, like a cool male repper persona you see yourself embodying sometimes? For me it's like a ryan gosling looking dude who's quiet and mysterious, but nice and caring still with a deep dark secret (having AGP disease) he can't evef tell anyone about, but informs all of his actions.

>>40752108
It maybe is just a self-loathing cope but it doesn't feel like one.
I think pseudo-dysphoria is distinctly different from actual dysphoria, at least in my case. I feel no actual distress from my birth sex, nor is the desire to be a woman something inherent to my sense of self.
Pseudo-dysphoria for me is the dreadful realization that at the end of the day, I am just a man and nothing more. Not only will I always be a man, but this is also the best way for me to live. I should just accept it and move on with my life, but the mere fact that I am stuck as a man, makes life feel inherently worthless. Transitioning is not an option though, since that will only make me genuinely dysphoric, no matter how much I wish that were not the case

>>40752322
>Anyone have a repsona, like a cool male repper persona you see yourself embodying sometimes?

Mine depends on the film or series I'm watching. The same happened with female characters. Now I realize that a mentally ill idiot could mistake this for gender dysphoria.

>>40752322
Uchiha Itachi

>>40742544
>Despite taking HRT and transitioning I secretly wish I could stop taking it and be happy with being a man
as a passoid who got unlucky with everything besides looks (year born, home country), I think this is normal.
Yes, life is infinitely more bearable after trooning, but I still hate the fact that I was born with a defective brain and I wish I was "normal", i.e. a cis person.
>I hate being dependent on meds
I've been on HRT for a little over 6 years and I don't really get this sentiment. I do an injection once a month and I'm ok. But I do hate the fact that I need expensive surgery to be comfortable with my body (that being srs)
>To me being trans was something that intruded on my normal consciousness
personally, I don't think I've ever had a "normal consciousness" - daydreaming for 70% of my waking hours about being a girl when I was 12 wasn't normal.
>>40742617
>this is why I detrooned
I don't get this at all. Being a tranny sucks, but being a repping tranny is infinitely worse. I tried it for many years and couldn't take it.
>>40745371
shit hurts less when I'm drunk, this is a universal experience and why alcoholism is so prevalent in the world

>>40753161
>I don't get this at all. Being a tranny sucks, but being a repping tranny is infinitely worse.
Well you are a passoid, you don't have to deal with the social isolation/humiliation and the very serious and even likely risk of getting hatecrimed that a hon experiences.

>>40753316
>you don't have to deal with the social isolation
I do though, I don't date at all because I don't want to date a guy who only wants my dick or a guy who would rather be in my place (a repper)
I'm not saying being a pssoid is the same as being a non-passoid, but stop pretending passing trannies live the life cis women live

>>40753347
What I mean is the way everyone in public is looking at you like a freak and avoiding or talking about you behind your back. A hon has to put up with that just from walking around. Not really trying to argue you have no problems, I'm just pointing out that for those of us who don't pass or who worry about not passing (most people in this thread,) we wouldn't even be able to like, go to the store in peace if we transitioned.

>>40753092
V based desu every emo male character with some kinda "dark secret" can easily be headcannoned as dysphoric it's a fun thought game to play when watching movies n shit

>>40753161
>I don't get this at all. Being a tranny sucks, but being a repping tranny is infinitely worse.
Like >>40753316 >>40753783 said I couldn't even put up the facade of having a body that I care about because it would just be irreparably marked as a freak

>>40733041 (OP)
the major doesn't suffer from dysmorphia you fucking retards, she feels dehumanized entirely because a body isn't a permanent fixture for her, unlike a dumb tranner. way to completely miss the point.

>>40754661
>The picture used in the OP HAS to be of a trans person it can't just be someone you like
Who says?

>>40753959
i don't really headcanon him as a repper, i just understand how he feels and that's enough
he's not "emo" either

>>40754772
iykyk, the trans cyberpunk crossover is sizeable because retards think transhumanism and phenomenology apply to them when it really does not.

a very large reason as to why i won't ever transition is just how heavily gendered my native language is
i'll never once malefail or pass because of it

>>40754808
trvke i hate those retards so much

>>40754661
>a body isn't a permanent fixture for her
that's true for literally everyone

>>40745259
I don't like how all of you have just embraced this kind of sadistic shit from men.

I think it's funny how the default even within gay relationships is hatred and shame directed at your partner. Like the intrasexual competition remains.

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

What I fucking hate about gay men is that they still behave exactly like a bunch of toxic straight men. That's what I honestly believe.

at this point I just want to die really

>>40754808
>I hate that people who want to change their body like a genre where it's easy to change your body
Okay?

>>40755489
same, i will never solve my problems why wait

is larry still around here?
i hope not...

>>40755828
hey its me, larry

>>40755828
not really although I think they showed up once relatively recently
>>40755239
god forbid I daydream

>>40755306
Yeah well I want to taste shiza's hole but we don’t always get what we want

>>40756221
you could taste mine desu

Oh shit I just realized this was repgen not gaygen my bad

>>40756267
you could still taste my tight hole?!?
please hot sire plunge your hot tounge into the abyss please?!?!?

i would PROBABLY

>>40750943
in like 5 years america is going to become eastern europe circa 1992 why wouldn't I take that offer

>>40750943
I could really give a shit if I was Chinese. the bigger problem would be losing all my PE progress by being shrunk down to a micro

hrt literally doesnt do anything but give you tits btw, my face and body look male forever. people literally point and laugh at me in the street now

>>40757301
>people literally point and laugh at me in the street now
I'm a repper and I've have this happen with people accusing me of looking/acting like a woman when I'm just fucking standing around. What's the real difference then?

I think I've been very fucked up by being here.

are the sides to finasteride real
have felt particularly insane the past week or so and idk if it's the drugs or just my baseline insane
>>40757597
idk feel like I showed up pretty cooked, always woulda gotten here

>>40752322
sol badguy

cooming

>>40757638
>are the sides to finasteride real
Sadly no, I did not grow tits on fin.

Am I alone in thinking gay men are legitimately fucked up and cruel people just the same as the straights?

>>40757887
no theyre arguably worse

>>40757887
Probably not, but /gaygen/ is probably the better place to complain about relationship issues with gay men than /repgen/.

>>40733041 (OP)
god why the fuck are there so many attractive women at my job why couldn't that be me

>>40750943
>also become chinese
like chinese ethnicity or do i just turn into a different woman living in china?
the answer is yes to either of these

>>40758487
Wanting to go through the effort of being an "attractive" woman when people will just see you as a piece of shit brainless bimbo and want to rape and kill you for it because it's hardly a good quality at all for a feminine person. What's even the point.

You know, when it comes down to it the rational part of my brain agrees with FtMs more

Talking to a non binary on tindr . Told them i was going to start E . They are cool with it

>detrooned a while ago
>tranny thoughts coming back
>go to event where I used to live
>see old best friend who always struck me as a repper
>tells me he started HRT
Honestly can't tell if it makes me want to troon out more or rep harder

>>40758672
yeah there's a shitton of things that would suck about being a woman but i hope my lifestyle of "stay indoors and only go out for errands and go to work" can probably mitigate that
tho maybe women can't even take ubers alone

>>40758801
aw
don't do it anon, i can tell you it's not going to make your life better
if you were actually able to break off and detroon then hopping back on hrt is not going to fix the underlying issues (not being born with a womb and ovaries)

fixed my terrible sleep schedule but i don't really feel better, i just feel more clearheaded about that i should kms and that my schizo thoughts are right

i wish i could transition

>rewatching old game grumps episodes (jontron era)
>remember watching those videos the day they were uploaded
>I was feeling the same gender confusion then as I do now
>get a weird digital deja vu
>mfw literally nothing has changed for me in 13 years

jerking off by pretending to be a woman online is the only thing that is stopping me from killing myself

>>40758971
>tho maybe women can't even take ubers alone

What I think is fucking insane is that people on this board would probably actually glorify that sort of thing

>>40759106
who'd glorify that this just seems like an objectively bad thing

>>40759138
Lol

>>40759148
cnc is a fembrained kink but the reality is traumatizing idk

>>40759106
>>40759138
half of the troons on this board will leak their little clitties thinking about that idea as if it's a good thing

>>40759162
Even the gay men.

It makes me so fucking depressed though you have no idea.

do women like being women. is it an enjoyable thing to be

>>40759262
oldfag agp philosophers know the real answer is yes but nureddit tranny propaganda says no

>>40758801
make up your mind already bpd aah nigga
if I was in your position I would definitely give it a shot, but also if I was in the position of having had trooning as an option in the first place I never would have given it up so idk what's good for you

>>40758971
>tho maybe women can't even take ubers alone
they do that all the time you retard
do you live in africa or something?

I started hrt when I was 17 and I am 33. Never once girlmoded/womanmoded. I do not 'mailfail'. I have had many comments about my chest, people have asked me if I'm trans or if I'm transitioning, so I now bind my chest. But that's it. Every day is misery.

>>40759412
I think what upsets me is that in even the LGBT community's view, I guess being a femme person means you should just be an extremely submissive codependent helpless fuckdoll who spends their whole existence worshiping men.

>>40759012
at this point its just to mitigate the horrors of testosterone and give some kind of hope copium for the future
>>40759405
how do you make up your mind when its just suffering either way

>>40734158
Reminder this >>40758572 is what pinkpillers actually think of reppers

>>40760527
These psycho freaks are why I don't even want to be an effeminate gay man.

no I'll just stay a repping faggot that gets mile of bi-woman pussy. I've seen hons irl, and the disgust I felt was next level. Atleast I can say I just look like this naturally.

I just hate being bisexual to begin with

>>40759262
I would say yes if your disposition matches what is societally expected of a woman. So non autistic women like being a woman essentially. Like if you are a caring person, it’s nice to be allowed to fully lean into that and not have to pull back and you can be a bit naive and just fully caring + compassionate since that is what is expected of a woman. But this can seem like a cage for women who don’t get strength from taking care of others. And the all pervasive imagery of women being super sexualized is quite depressing and takes a toll on everyone. Especially if you have empathy for young girls who see it essentially since the time they were born. But there’s nothing one can do about it but be a different example. I think men enjoy being men when they best match the societal expectations as well, and i feel like this may be a large part of GD for some people, if they feel they’d better fit into society if only they were the other gender

>>40759018
Same

>>40760527
i don't blame them. i'd hate me too if i transitioned, if i was a woman or pretty trans woman. i would be an ugly fucking tranny but i'm not an evil person. i was just born masculine with the tranny mind virus. i've wished i was naturally feminine my whole life, people like me can only dress and act fem if you're extremely gay and flamboyant. not some terminally depressed self hating quiet shut in weirdo with shit autistic taste in everything.

id transition if i could look like this

i'd probably be a lot uglier and more mannish than my sister, mom, and grandmother if i was born female and i would probably be flat like my mom but at least i'd have a real vagina.

>>40760527
yeah it is really funny that this thread is the only place in the universe where "I should not go be an abomination and ruin everyone else's day" is controversial

does anyone else have intricate fantasies of ripping off all their skin or stabbing themselves. i wish i had artistic talent in some way because there's a lot of violent fantasies i imagine doing to myself that i wish i could visualize somehow.

>>40762497
YES
i cant stop thinking about this and more

>>40762514
i envy people who can draw or model intricate stuff depicting violence and death, i haven't self harmed in a long time but i still think about violent fantasies a lot i wish i could get out of my head as something cathartic. maybe i should have just focused hardcore on art when i was young but i was too busy being a miserable retard to focus on anything other than escapism. i'm a gigantic quiet pussy irl too i wouldn't hurt anyone but myself. my wants and desires being the exact opposite of my external self always makes me imagine destroying myself somehow though in my head because i hate myself so much. can't ever talk about anything genuine about myself to anyone because i would seem insane so i just have to bottle it all up and it probably results in violent fantasies.

>>40733041 (OP)
>Would you date a genderswapped version of yourself?
I would date any version(s) of myself
Who else would *get* me as much as I get myself?

>>40762342
That's at least 30 minutes of makeup, not counting the pornsick proportions
You are not transgender, you're an AGP cis male
Look into drag performance instead

>>40762575
no thanks, drag performance is yucky and gross and not anything like oppai loli zelda

i want to be a woman. i'd settle for being a normal man. i am neither

i need a drink. the thoughts are too troubling

i need to be a woman

seriously considering taking my chances on the wheel of samsara again

the older i get the more nonbinary makes sense to me. i think repressing for this long has finally made me into a crazy person.

>>40763110
I have always considered enbies to be retarded.

>>40763142
i am saying that repressing for this long has made me significantly more retarded than i was initially.

>>40763156
I get that, I think repping causes brain damage personally.

>>40763224
i do too. i listen to more extreme and retarded loud music to cope with the fact that i can't go insane and break everything in my sight and punch my walls and rip my body in half and shit as well. i am definitely not getting more comfortable with age. just more depressed that i can absolutely never be who i wish i could and i can never be accepted into a community i wish i could because i have to fake being something i'm not because i'm an ugly masculine dude. well now an old ugly masculine dude since i'm not young anymore either when i'm inching closer and closer to mid thirties and have done nothing with my life besides being a shut in coward loser fuckup.

>>40763224
>>40763156
i don't know if it's the repping or the neeting, but i feel significantly more retarded than i was 5 years ago.
my short term memory is cooked i'll be thinking about something get distracted for a second and *poof* thought gone into the aether

I think I'd be willing to settle for looking like a cishon at this point, fuck.

>>40763110
Same

>>40763563
I feel the same way

dubs and i kms 2nite

>>40763142
ever since i was 14 i've thought i had enby dysphoria
i guess i am clinically retarded

>>40763563
I can attest to this, but five years ago I hardly ever thought about wanting to be a woman and it wasn't until later that that arose

i don't know how reppers fit in with social groups and have regular lives and careers and longterm partners and shit. i feel too retarded and confused to get along with anyone or have any sort of relationship on any sort of level that isn't surface. i feel like there's no point in me trying to be successful career wise either since i think nothing in this life matters ultimately to me. i haven't even fit in on 4chan for over a decade and it's basically the only social media i actually interact with on any level that isn't lurking. i don't even know why i come here anymore. just full of self hate and anxiety over every fucking thing, i wish i would grow up and just get my life together but i feel like i am permanently mentally stunted because i developed all fucked up and never found the correct people to mature and connect with.

i don't even know how to properly articulate my feelings or thoughts without coming off like a low iq teenager despite being a grown ass adult man who should by all means have his shit together. my whole life is just gonna be me shut out from the world rejecting most everything cause i am mentally ill and obsessed with shit that is insane and impossible to realize, and even as a man i can't do shit because i'm too weird and immature and submissive. just another delusional porn addicted perverted manchild who'll probably end up killing himself in his parents basement. not a day has gone by in over 25 years where i don't hate everything about myself and want to rearrange my entire being or not exist on every physical level. i wish i wasn't mentally ill and my life wasn't like this.

dubs and i try hrt

>>40764712
>i don't know how reppers fit in with social groups and have regular lives and careers and longterm partners and shit
That's easy, I don't.

>>40765035
i read all the time about people who repressed/repress but have friends and a loving relationship and everything. it seems so common. i can't imagine being close and vulnerable with anyone because i don't know who i am or what i want and never will. i wouldn't know how to be a man in a straight relationship and i think friends are pointless. i couldn't date a man as a man and i couldn't interact with a lgbt community irl without feeling like a fraud cause i am one. there's just nowhere for people like us. i guess there's always been isolated outcasts who just don't fit in anywhere but we have the internet to voice our thoughts and opinions now. i'm just so full of anger and sadness all the time because you only get one life and mine is wasted cause i'm a freak mistake.

>>40764712
Im the type of person that fills the hole by doing things and talking to people, generally getting out of myself. The dysphoria never goes away though

>>40765089
i don't even know why i come here. discussing this shit on the internet is pointless since i'm never going to transition or do gay shit irl or anything i don't belong on this board. i feel like nothing. i wish i was nothing and didn't exist. i feel like i am intruding whenever i enter lgbt spaces because i'm pretty much just a straight dude with a fetish and porn addiction. if i made any effort to improve my life i'd probably be happier and i would stop having moments where i feel like shit because i'm not a woman. i'm too lazy and greedy and selfish to be a good person and improve my life though. i'll just be a pointless leech my entire life and take from people and society and never give anything back because i'm a worthless loser. just a deadbeat bum who deserves to die on the street.

dubs and i hrt rep

>>40765400
congrats now go be a stupid tranny.

>>40765404
can't you read? i'm going to try hrt repping not trooning

>>40763156
>>40763224
>>40763563
this is true in my experience

>>40765939
It really isn't fair, is it? Transitioning is so hard to deal with socially, emotionally, and monetarily, but if you don't do it your soul and your fucking brain kinda just dissolves away. There's no easy choices.

>>40766082
all that matters is passing anyways. i don't want to give up my default cis white male privilege where i can blend in effortlessly everywhere and be invisible and nobody, just so i can be an obviously demented estrogenized adult man with cone tits and stick out like a sore thumb so everyone can gawk at the self hating tranny.

hrt repping is the worst psyop to hit repgen

>>40766619
i'm responsible. like literally i think i was the first person to post about hrt repping

>>40766619
i hrt rep, whats wrong in it?

>>40766663
just the fact that it isn't repping and therefore you do not belong here

What do you guys think are the odds that technology saves us reppers? Like ghost in the shell or cyberpunk style body changing stuff, do you think something like that is possible by the 2030s or 2040s maybe? It'd still be fucked up to have a middle aged mind but you could at least be in a 20 year old woman's body I guess.

It's kind of my only cope to not an hero immediately hahahahaha

>>40767356
i don't even think paraplegia will be fixed in the next couple of decades despite only needing to make connection between nerves instead of whatever egg unboiling (undoing puberty bone change) or brain transfer shit would be needed for trannyism.

>>40767356
>2030s or 40s
Not by then. Maybe like.. 2070 we might start to see it come out but technological advancement has seemed pretty slow over the past decade and a half, everythings the same except we've got AI now

>>40767356
0 chance of that honestly
I could see full immersive VR worlds like in ready player one in like 25-30 years. They'll be expensive as fuck at first though, and if you believe in AI hype then we'll spend most of the time between then and now being unemployed.

>>40763563
Ive seen a lot of normie youtubers complaining about this same cognitave decline though, and they blame it on covid stress and it getting everyone addicted to short form content

>>40762497
When I get at my most frustrated I want to step out of my own body and use the biggest rock I can lift to smash my head to pieces until it's just spinters of bone with mushy brain splattered everywhere

I just want to be Motoko ;-;

>>40763142
If youre a male who wants to be a woman but still wants to have a penis/has no gd about your genitalia, then you’re an enby. That’s literally non-binary. It makes sense to me that we have this label, just no one uses it correctly

time to erp to cope with repping

>>40768362
based
the best is when you find a partner who knows you are an agp male and really leans into the fantasy while teasing you OOC

i neither like or dislike my penis the majority of the time. i don't fantasize about having sex with it and i think it would be really uncomfortable and weird to but i could probably make it work when the alternative is current SRS which freaks me out too much. fapping alone though i don't have an issue with it as it's just a means to orgasm. using it to literally have sex though is super intimidating and overwhelming when i actually think about it. sex in general as a man is weird to me. all my instincts since very young have made me wish to have sex as a woman and be super submissive and male sexuality and sex is so aggressive and dominant, it scares me. maybe an asexual label would be better for me since sex as a man is so weird to me and i can't have sex as a woman.

>>40768394
yah that used to be nice but nowadays it just makes me cry

>>40733041 (OP)
>Would you date a genderswapped version of yourself?
I would not date any version of myself and I actively stop myself from seeking intimacy because I know I would be bad for others.
And before you say this sounds like an r/9k thing, I actually think it's quite reasonable. I'm not ready for a relationship, I've had friends who were in similar situations and they still dated and just ended up hurting themselves and others. I don't think that knowing you're objectively speaking not in the right place for romance is always a self-hatred or self-pity thing. I'm almost 30, lost my job, and I had to move back in with my parents. The last thing I need right now is a partner. I don't know when or if I will be ready, but I definitely am not ready now.
Thanks for reading my blog.

>>40768362
how many reps r u on?

remember not to skip leg day

we all gon make it brah

>>40768637
i'm 33 and i don't think i'll ever be in a relationship or have sex. i clearly don't have the want or drive to seek either of those things out else i would have by now. it is what it is. too much baggage, and having to explain to a woman i have hangups about being a man and having sex and stuff would be too awkward and unfair unless the woman herself was bi or an enby or some shit and knew trannies and stuff.

>>40768394
>>40768593
trvthnvke

every time i see gigahons i feel stoic and don't really feel anything besides feeling sad for them
every time i see men acting femininely i feel scared and anxious and wonder what people would think of me if i was like that

Are there detransers here?

>>40769025
yeah

What percentage of Vocaloid producers are reppers?

dubs and i do my injection

>>40769394
rolling

i'm so inconsistent with injecting i'm basically detransed so should i just stop bothering and hope the tits go away?

>>40768585
Same, don't particularly hate my penis yet sometimes it just feels "ouf of place" if it makes sense.

>Female friend said I was really handsome as a guy and not to transition

was she just trying to make me feel better

>>40769025
unfortunately
I hate them

why do i want to be a loli, what happened to me

>>40770716
Autololiphillia is a real thing anon. Don't be ashamed. You are cute and dare I say valid.

>>40770768
i have normal tranny thoughts anyway, just also this whenever i get reminded of it too much

>>40770716
My theory is a longing for the childhood you missed out on.

>>40770716
kids are fucking annoying and retarded, not trying to be mean. that's just a fact.

>>40745991
Yeah, especially when I get praised for the physical traits I dislike most about myself.

>>40769025
yeah
>>40770444
why

>>40771699
Being called 'handsome' always put me in a bad mood.

>>40772096
For me, it's my height and how physically strong I am. Not that there's anything wrong with being physically strong mind you, but in my case it's entirely a result of my uncommonly large and robust frame since I haven't worked out (other than walking) in over a decade.

My dysphoria is only physical. So I don't really care about being called a girl or cross dressing.

this type of dysphoria is pretty rare i don't see many trannies who are like me.

>>40773255
Cross-dressing doesn't do anything but make me feel sad about being ugly and male. I want to wear nice outfits, but just out of a desire to be and wear something cute, rather than any kind of sexual gratification like most agps.

>>40773383
>Cross-dressing doesn't do anything but make me feel sad about being ugly and male

Crossdressing just accentuates your male features so I have NO FUCKING CLUE why AGPs like it so much. I like wearing big bulky clothes that hide my body for that reason.

I guess to some being dysphoric means Not being able to dress/act like a woman. For me it's just not being able to look like on.

>>40773422
>I like wearing big bulky clothes that hide my body for that reason
Same, I used to wear hoodies all the time to hide my body because I hated it so much. Back then, the dysphoria hoodie wasn't a meme yet because nobody knew what a tranny was, but wearing hoodies was seen as the cool thing to do so it provided an excellent excuse for me. I only stopped wearing hoodies all the time when I graduated college and could turn into a shutin.

any famous reppers here?

If the nona from a thirdie from the last thread is reading: Get on hormonal birth control if you can, if you don't mind an increased likelihood of liver damage and deep vein thrombosis (Diane 35 contains synthetic estrogen and a derivative of cypro, afaik that's the main one used to DIY)

Not everywhere will ask for a prescription - Lots of places will just look the other way. If you can't find any though, you're SOL for the time being aside from effortmaxxing.

More importantly make a plan to go somewhere not currently, or will in future begin, holocausting trannies. Work. Study. Whatever.

t. 19yo arab repper

>>40773255
literally same, although people calling me a man makes me aware of my male body and gives me dysphoria. but i don't have dysphoria about how i dress and act and that i don't have le female soul or whatever.

why don't i get to be happy