>>40749881 (OP)
Don't linger on it. You can break down some of your trauma to small pieces, and consider "Is this particular piece still affects me? Or it may've happened in some nightmare I had, or in some parallel world?" If everything you have from traumatic experience is a memory - it might've never happened at all. If you still have some more solid reminder - get rid of it. Move to other place, if you have to.
I've gaslighted myself like this, and my life is much more bearable now.
Speaking of kids in particular - a whole lot of cis females can't have them, that's not our unique blend of suffering
Also, find a hobby or a new thing to do, so you make new good memories and achievements to be proud of.