Thread 40752674

People just walk all over me... my roommates treat me like a doormat.. even tho i try my best im the one who gets the heat.... my coworkers treat me like a punching bag even tho im the one who has the least to do with other people... im noticing a pattern, ever since i was a kid my mom always blamed me for everything, if she dropped a glass and it shattered and i was in visible range, then id have to run into my room to avoid getting hit, because when ever anything bad happens its my fault thats what i was conditioned into from kid to adult. And now even as an adult people treat me like the punching bag, perhaps because they know i wont do anything back.
I hate this.......

And now my mom went off on me (via text message) because i forgot to check something at work.. she called me "useless", "fucking mental", "do you even use your brain?" "You're fucking braindead"


All because i forgot to check something small....... i really do try my best... but its like everyone just wants to beat me down.....
........
Im not giving up ... im just venting how rough my life is....

Iv been thinking..
People fundamentally enjoy punching down, humans are inherently sadistic.. the truest nature of man is to torment.. its only through maturation and personal development can humans pseudo-ascend their beastial nature.
But at the end of the day, you can rip a wolf of its fur, but itll still be a wolf.
A core part of humanity will always be sadism.
The measure of a persons soul therfor is how far they can ascend from that beastial evil form into a calm gentle being that does not hurt others.
I do not want to hurt others.. i want to be at peace and for people to flourish. I believe humans are like seeds that need the proper nurturing in order to bloom, no matter the age, even an old man can need some gentle help in order to fulfill his most true and ultimate form.

>>40752674 (OP)
>>40752924
>>40753078
You're not a good person, you're just WEAK. Actual good people are rare.

>>40753078
This actually might be kinda true. I've enjoyed punching people down on this board, mostly because they're retarded but maybe thats cope.

You have nice ideals, but you are weak. Thanks for the nugget of insight though, stand up for yourself retard.

>>40753145
Actually a really good point.. i watched a uh jordan peterson vid and he said that true goodness is having the ability to do bad but choosing not to.
I think i almost agree with him, im not so certain of such things but it does seem to ring true.
At least in my case, indeed im weak, i dont understand why, or how people see it, why im treated this way. Its a mystery to me... maybe im too nice.

Alas... these shackles are mine to bear. As bruce lee said, do not wish for a nicer world, wish for a stronger self that can conquer the world.

I am walking alone through a dry barren land of rock and grey skies, there is no end in sight, an endless stretch of grey and humiliation, of suffering and surviving, yet still i must forge on, like my ancestors forged on through never ending blizzards, perhaps some day i will find the day that makes it all worth it...

>>40752674 (OP)
>>40752924
>>40753078
>>40753246
>>40754336

have you consulted astrology? I can help you if you're interested.

>>40754935
Sigh.. i mean sure why not..

>>40755257
Get your birth chart here
https://horoscopes.astro-seek.com/birth-chart-horoscope-online
Once it generates scroll down and read the interpretations. This will give you insight into things you can work on to develop strength.

>>40755404
I giggled.
Thanks anon.
Reallllly helpful

>>40753078
Yes you’re right, we are inherently cruel. Its just how the gods made us. We’re meant to go to war and kill each other. We’re just like ants aware of what we do but unable to go against the hive. And even if you let a man grow he’ll be harvested just like the unripened ones.
Its okay though because we will go extinct soon and that will be the end of all suffering.