Thread 40777793

i wish i knew that if i gave my heart too openly to too many people that i'd eventually be left with parts of myself missing
and that the people who took pieces of me with them when they left would discard them like they were nothing
it's not easy having everything in life appear duller, sound more clouded, feel less alive forever
things get better than your lowest point but parts of life are stripped from you and you can never get them back
the overwhelming numbness and inability to feel whole is all consuming
you try to be yourself and become the person you were meant to be, and that vulnerability is your undoing

You need to regenerate. I love the same way you do and as long as you don't let yourself become jaded it will make you stronger and a better lover in the long term. Give yourself time to recover and don't you dare stop loving with your whole heart.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

>>40777793 (OP)
it'll be okay one day

its not a choice anymore
i love with everything left of my heart but the gaps are there nonetheless
the amount of emotion i can carry is reduced

>>40777793 (OP)
I let the similar happen to me. You can rebuild yourself. You can learn to heal. Im no where near back to the self love I absolutely deserve and my ability to trust and socialize without being mentally skiddish is still far from not being eccentric. I think a massive redpill I can give is that peoples desires consist of many things, this being one of them. A lot of us really gotta let go of what we want. Maybe that person comes, maybe it doesn't. Your attention has to be on you and your will. I love you, good luck.

>>40777793 (OP)
>>40778155
BPD posts