Thread 40783743

>be me
>bi mtf tranny
>in relationship with cis guy for 2ish years, pretty much best friends before we started dating
>super cool and sweet guy, we get along great, but last few months, ive been randomly feeling weird/uncomfortable when he compliments me
>felt little desire to have sex with him, only really feeling sexual attraction towards women
>lots of back and forth thinking about it, decide its not fair on him to keep him in limbo if im not sure if i want to be with him, so i end up breaking up with him
>he seems really heartbroken, i feel really bad and heartbroken too
>a few weeks go by and we still talk but quite a bit less than we normally do
>have a near constant sadness in my heart
>dont ever want to live my life without him
what is wrong with me? what mental illness is this? can it be fixed?

>>40783743 (OP)
maybe yuo have bpd

>>40783906
maybe. when i was a teenager i was supposed to get evaluated for a bunch of mental issues and bpd was one of them but it never happened so i never actually found out whats wrong with me

>>40783743 (OP)
this is why AGPs should be banned from dating men

>>40783743 (OP)
You have the need to be miserable, that's why you're self-destructive, don't date others until you fix your head because you'll be sucking in innocent people into your weird mind games.
>>40783967
The guy dodged the bullet, thanks for breaking up with him, hopefully, he'll find a more mentally stable tranny or even a cis woman.

>>40783743 (OP)
The bi cycle does feel like this. Unfortunately you might also have some convoluted feelings about attraction as many trans people do.

Did you ever feel aroused by the sight, presence, smell, etc of him in the same way that you're attracted to women? My personal take is that a lot of people coast on the infinite energy reactor of straight male attention, it's easy to convince yourself that you're attracted to someone who looks good and is really into you - especially if you're the bottom.

>>40784026
im not agp
>>40784044
i dont have bpd lol, and i was relatively normal throughout the relationship other than the occasional bit of depression which i usually got over quite quickly. the only shitty thing anyone could say i did was break up with him because i was unsure if i was attracted to him, which is way better than leading him on if i dont know

>>40784071
my attraction to men and women is different i think. i do think i genuinely was attracted to him for most of our relationship but i find myself attracted to more women overall. and now that im out of the relationship it feels like i can think more clearly about it without guilt, and it sorta feels like im attracted to men but in a more fantasy way rather than any real desire to be with them, maybe. physically that is, i still feel this really deep love and connection with my ex

>>40784136
yeah you can be deeply in love with someone without having a sexual component to it. our society doesnt really prepare people for this whatsoever and i think many people just kinda autopilot into the fuckzone and then get confused when its unfulfilling in some cases.

anyway i went through the same thing with my bi trans ex but on the opposite end, she realized she was just gay after a few years. broke my heart completely but its better than living a lie. i dont really understand how it happened but i guess comphet can run deep, or people can just change. who knows.

>>40784026
best post
trvke
etc

>>40784198
im sorry that happened to you anon, it sucks. i do think it was partly comphet but also i do think i just changed. i know lots of people dont believe that sexuality can change over time but i really do think mine did.
>you can be deeply in love with someone without having a sexual component to it
yeah, it sucks. i want so badly to be able to make it work with him because i really do love him very much but i dont think its fair to either of us to force myself to do that

>>40783743 (OP)
have you ever considered that your actions have consequences and if you break up with someone they will want to talk to you less

Each day we come closer to Unchaser's light.

>>40784256
thanks. and yeah its better this way but it definitely sucks. forcing yourself to be with someone youre not really attracted to will really breed resentment in time. even if you stuck around and tried to be super close but nonsexual friends, he's still into you, so it would probably not be healthy. i hope the two of you can at least stay in contact as time goes on.

>>40784270
dont see the point youre trying to make, but yes, i did actually consider that

>>40783743 (OP)
Sounds like me desu it’s been a year and I’m not really over it we’re fucked bestie

>>40784326
thank you. we still talk every day but still less than we normally would. i think he'll get over it eventually cus im really not all that special, i was just the first person in his life to show any romantic interest in him
>>40784335
this is concerning

>>40784328
>i did actually consider that
so then why did you do it and why are you asking for advice? what do you want us to do, go back in time and make you not act directly against your own interests? this is a decision you made knowing what would happen

>>40784379
im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt because i feel like constant arguing on the internet is stupid and generally we should all be kinder to each other, but i think you have really misread my intentions with this post, which may very well have been my fault. i dont want 4chan to fix this situation for me, i was mostly just looking for people to talk to, maybe some people who could relate. my only friend close enough to talk to about actual issues in my life is an emotionally closed off autistic man so i pretty much only have this place as an option. very sorry for any confusion (seriously!)

>>40784421
oh so when you said "what mental illness is this? can it be fixed?" you meant what exactly?

>>40784478
that was a joke-y rhetorical question, i was simply poking fun at my strange and off putting behavior! to lighten the mood of a rather upsetting time in my life, im sure you understand

>>40784523
you should send me a picture of your asshole to illustrate your point better

You fell in love with someone you're not sexually attracted to. Nothing wrong with it, depending on how important sex is to you. As long as you're not disgusted when pleasuring him it's not even a rare occurence.

>>40783743 (OP)
Was he your first true partner? If so enjoy the rest of your life thinking about how it could have been good if you didn't break up, everyone has these first relationship attachment memories and it kills your soul! Best of luck!!>>40783743 (OP)

>>40783743 (OP)
nothing wrong w/ u. it's normal to feel sad after a long relationship ends. it can be upsetting, even for the person initiating the breakup. just takes time to feel better

>>40783743 (OP)
I just broke up with my boyfriend a week ago cause of similar feelings, I haven't talked to his since, and it still hurts a bit.

>>40785788
>it still hurts a bit
i don't understand this. YOU are the one that broke up with HIM, but YOU are now complaining about it? why not just not break up with him

>>40783743 (OP)
>Honeymoon phase ends
>I must end this relationship immediately
Many such cases