>>40802084
A lot of emotional flavour goes into the desire to have sex with someone. The way they make you feel, the way the situation, scenario and context makes you feel.
I can't speak for others but my psychology is this - when I love someone I often don't want to fuck them. It makes me uncomfortable to do so.
And when someone means nothing to me I find the experience more enjoyable, because I can lean into being animalistic about it.
Perhaps if I had the will to try some marriage could be formed between those poles, but when it comes to humans the will to try is often the first thing to go.
You said it yourself - it's not that easy to find what you're looking for in practice.
Anyway - not entirely a comprehensive response to what you expressed - but when it comes to the philosophy of relationships and what really works who knows - such things are above my paygrade. So I figured I'd just give a window into the experience from this end.
On an aside - my cat is kneading and shoving his ass in my face as I write this. Cute fuck.