https://youtu.be/4AH1jNl1w1s
the names, all the beatings, the degrading, the disillusionment, the destruction of my inner self. the laughs, taking my hair away, my makeup, making me hate the clothes i used to love wearing. all the burns the spit the bruises. everyone saw what i was a a child and they all just pointed and laughed. i just wanted to understand, understand what they saw in me that i couldnt see for myself until it was too late. and then they all laughed harder until i hid myself away, only for them to have the audacity to pity me say they never saw the signs to tell me im "beautiful and brave" for being a troon. to act like they didnt play a role in the degradation of a child. they prolly still do it behind my back and laugh at me and what they made me into. i dont even hate em how could i hate my own family. just an underlying disgust that permeates my every waking moment of this shitty existence. i live out of spite and hate for what ive become. how much i debased myself for the scraps of praise theyd off me and i mistook for love. how could anyone love what i am let alone myself
>>40809318
its not fair, its not fucking fair.
>>40809413
lol thx for trying c:
>it can bring back feelings based on where you were at that time. Powerful stuff
so real i think thats why im so obsessed with it now a days especially certain artists. one of the ways i can really grasp certain feelings that have been lost to me for years. mac demarco is another one of those for me. especially his early stuff. thx for the words anon, ill keep on until it just cant anymore whether thats physical or mentally. ive made it far and im proud of that at least
>>40809343
tysm anon im feeling something quite foul rn i wont lie. my problem is trust and not cause of pasr friends just my upbringing. its so hard unlearning shit burned into my brain i keep saying its fine but i never believe it. i see my potential but i also see it slipping away now. it scares me sm.
