Thread 40814998

Not really sometimes I think its most days
I think about where she is or what she’s doing or how different she must look
i wonder what she’d have to say about things
like current events
or how i’ve started smoking meth
i think about those walks around the lake we had
i love that lake
i love that taco place she showed me
i dont cook much anymore

i don’t really eat that much anymore
I dont rlly want to date the woman
i dont rlly want to date anyone desu
love is a meme
ive been sex trafficked drugged and raped homeless smoking meth outside the capitol building in st paul
i dont feel anything
i just miss her
she reminds me of a good part of my life
maybe she would have good advice for me
i dont know im mentally ill
i just miss her so fucking bad
im basically a stalker at this point
she taught me useful things in the gym
and about dental hygiene
that shits why I still have teeth

i remember hating her for being happy
while i was alone in my apartment no job
getting spun no sleep
at that time i rlly wanted her to see my life
its kinda sick
ive changed a lot in the last few months
i was rlly naive to the world
i think i have a better grasp on myself and it
dont know if itll be much good
im married to tina
i fuckin love her
she makes me feel good
she makes me cum hard
sometimes i share her
its whatever
i miss catarina
i’d do anything to have a conversation with her
about life and her transition
her career
her relationship
her friendships
what she thinks about anything really
i regret not listening to her more
or doing things she wanted to do
my chest hurts when I think about never watching lain with her
or finishing her games

i go on grindr a lot to see if shes there
i mean not that she’d ever talk to me again
but it’d be nice to see her
sometimes i see people who look like her
after looking at their pics theyre not as pretty

if she knew how much I think about her she’d surely be disturbed
at one point she thought about me every day
she doesnt anymore
why would she
i was a shitty girlfriend
she had problems too but it wasnt serious
that dumb bitch probably still thinks she was a problem in our relationship
i hope not
its not about romanticizing or idealizing or whatever nonsense its reality
i was in control of every situation
i knew what to say when to say and what reaction I would get
i could end arguments or get her back
i liked to prolong them
looking back its all so stressful but something about the rush of emotion
sometimes i wanted it to end
but i couldnt let something like that go
i dont know
if i had met her today
its funny to say you know
im a degenerate meth addict
but if i met her today things would be different
they dont make girls like her
shes rare

beautiful
responsible
capable
loves me more than my own parents?
what did she ever see in me haha
I mean really
a pretty face and ass who adored her
but i was a fucking bitch from the beginning
god my heart aches thinking about her face when she told me she liked some streamer I didnt
and the response i gave her
silence and i think some passive aggressive comment
i could see the embarrassment and heartache
how many times I did that kinda shit to her
why did i do shit like that to people
its all just so fucking tiresome
I think i liked the control of it all

holy shit it hurts so much to think about
i love her so much still
the parts of me that wanted the control or pain or rush or the uncompromising or the stuck up those shed off me
but that love and pain in my chest never goes away
i’d do fucking anything for a chance at it all
she was good for me
her friends were good for me
the life she offered was good for me

>>40815438
bully me faggot i dont care. im a fucking meth addict prostitute on the internet. kys nigga

>>40815474
hooly shit is that a breaking bad reference?

she was funny
she was intelligent
she was thoughtful and considerate
she wasnt always the best at something but she had humility and worked until she got better
she was loyal but not unreasonable
god she gave me the best gift ever
i still have this keychain
i carry it with me everywhere and everytime i see it i think of her

>>40815493
based. you made me laugh.

i havent had much luck in dating since
there was one girl
she had giant tits and ass
cute as fuck
degenerate coke head tho
untrustworthy and lets face it no one has ever loved me the way catarina did
ive given up on that kinda shit its faggy anyway
im on a new arc
getting absolutely spun and sticking my dick in anyone i find attractive
even if i wouldnt normally fuck them
like a cis guy or girl with a nice ass
im branching out
eventually ill stop
i mean i do have aspirations
for now tho i just wanna cum
i wanna do it in ways i never have
why are yall so negative on here
most of yall look fine
yalls some bitches

PS im hot passoid and will stop smoking meth for a loving boymoder gf. I have all my teeth and no plaque. I have employment and a nice apartment. can send lewds. discord is pr0xym4n14

>>40815708
Find a loving boymoder gf who will smoke meth with u so you will know true happiness

>>40815759
drugs and relationships dont mix. someone usually ends up fucking their dealer for meth. I just want to be loved. I wanna be the highlight of someones day.

im an anti social passoid. introverted. my hobbies all involve being in the home either at a computer or working out. gtg but anyone can add me if ur just interested in all this and wanna chat. im lonely.