Thread 40916994

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QOTT: favorite fantasy creature?

>>40916994 (OP)
I would say mermaid as I was to be one of them, but it's griffins desu

>>40916994 (OP)
>QOTT: favorite fantasy creature?
it alternates depending on my self perception. rn its vampires but like the monstrous nosferatu type vampires if you know what i mean, not posh white dudes in suits

>>40917021
I want to be a mermaid so badly, it would be so perfect ;-;

>>40916994 (OP)
>qott
scalie girls. lamias. dragon girls. what have you.

Answering my own QOTT, not sure if it counts but I want to be some part-cat creature. I've been obsessed with cats for a very long time and used to larp warrior cats as a kid and copy feline mannerisms I think I deserve it.

>>40917021
>>40917073
this just reminded me of the fact that i used to do those shitty youtube mermaid spells as a kid to see if i could turn into one
>>40917414
wait this is so real of you nona. i get it.

>>40916968
Then get rid of it.

>>40916994 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>40916994 (OP)
selkie
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selkie

dragon or succubus. i want a woman to kill me.

>>40917927
i've thought about starting to shave it but i feel like if anything that will draw more attention to it from the growing back in

>>40916994 (OP)
Threadly reminder that the following are the best ways to manage your dysphoria (the more you do at once the better!):
1) Butchmax
2) HRT-rep
3) Get a short, mtf femme gf
4) -optional- get bottom and/or top surgery

If anyone wants an emotional or physical punching bag. I'm here for you :3

>>40918480
Possibly. You can get at-home sugaring kits (these last forever if you’re just doing the stache), or just get electrolysis if you want to be a woman. Can speak from experience that sugaring will not impact its ability to grow back long-term, if you’re worried about the impact should you ever decide to transition.

>>40916994 (OP)
FALIN MENTIONED PEAK PEAK PEAK FUCK I WANT HER TO USE ME
(this used to be my wallpaper)

>>40916994 (OP)
do you guys have any discord server about mtf reppers. i feel if i join a normal trans mtf discord i would be an impostor since i never started my transition (and probably never will out of fear)

>>40919325
and this one ^w^

>>40919332
>Goes to ftm repper general to ask about mtf repper discords

>>40919371
sorry i have dyslexia

>>40919402
It's okay

>>40919371
idk wich is wich lol

>>40919402
this is not me wtf

>>40919573
Now you know

I want to hug all femreppers :3

I think male repper and female repper relationship could work. Not nearly as bad as it seems. If both people are mature, and do their best to build up the other's self esteem and be there for one another it could be ok. Not like it needs to work though. Plenty of straight people who aren't dysphoric to have relationships with

>>40919611
not really. i dont get it. so femreppers are ftm who aren't going to transition?

>>40919730
Women with gender dysphoria. Same as repgen but opposite way.

>>40919619
Zero chance of that working. Too much mutual envy.
The only relationship pairing with a repper that can be healthy is femrepper x mtf.

>>40919619
i need an aap gf though

>>40919829
you can stop shilling yourself now

Can you mental retards stop bumping the bait general

>>40919619
and when they plap, they could make tranny babies with 400% dysphoria of every sex trait

has anyone else experienced a dramatic shift in the way their sexuality manifests along the years? as a tween/young teen, i used to get aroused reading fanfiction, mostly gay stuff. i think my first time experiencing arousal was probably reading fanfiction.
somewhere along the way i stopped reading ranfiction and started looking at visual material instead. now i get turned on the most by female bodies and get embarrassingly horny when i see pics of naked women, but i also like male bodies in certain circumstances. it's weird because when i was reading fanfiction, i was virtually incapable of being attracted to irl men and was also latently gynephilic but didn't realize it. i wonder how testosterone would play into this.
still virgin for life though

i wish the thread mtf would fuck me. anyway hope everyone's having a good one

>>40922058
Sorry anon, I'm an exclusive bottom. Besides, even if dysphoria were not an issue, hrt has ensured that I cannot really fuck anyone at this point.
But I promise I would make an amazing fucktoy if you ever felt like topping :3

>>40922092
sorry for the confusion
*i wish the thread mtf would have sex with me
i don't bottom

i always assume 2 things:
1) the person who im talking to is a retard
2) the person who im talking to hates me and NEVER has my best interests in mind and will do everything in their power to hurt and belittle me

>>40922103
Well, that is much more my wheelhouse anon.
You ever used a strap that can shoot cum before? I bet you would love them :3
>>40922105
I think it is best to assume the best in people :)

>>40922105
i don't know how people wake up every day and live like this

>>40922121
>I think it is best to assume the best in people :)
no its better to be on guard
>>40922122
its not a conscious choice. when people continiously treat you like shit and betray your trust your brain starts axsuming that everyone is like that

>>40922121
i hope you get pregnant. please have my child

>>40922141
Well if you fuck me hard enough and pump me full of enough cum...who knows what might happen? :3

>>40922141
No, mine.

>taking turns on sapphic flag anon (gently)

>>40922156
i will rip your throat out with my teeth. you don't understand how badly i need her

>>40922156
>>40922158
Awww, I'm flattered <3
But there is plenty of me to go around. Feel free to either take turns or just take opposite ends at the same time :3
Besides, I would also really like to give you both nice massages and cook some yummy meals for you both!

>>40922166
i want you so bad it makes me want to kill myself

>>40922180
sorry. i think i'm just having a bad day. i'm gonna close tab. i'll see you guys.

>>40922180
Don't hurt yourself anon!
You seem really nice. I bet you will be able to get your own mtf gf in no time!
Just stay positive, I care about you :3

>>40916994 (OP)
Don't have one I guess since nothing immediately comes to mind.

>>40908096
Gaiman yeah. Books of Blood is Clive Barker, Hellraiser and Candyman were both based on stories in it, Midnight Meat Train as well.

Valis actually isn't sci-fi. It's about schizophrenic man and is partially autobiography and largely about insanity, suicide and religion.

>>40918480
Nah, learning to manage your feelings and accepting how little feelings mean is the best, followed by AGP cope, followed by androgyny cope.

>>40922105
First one is often true of people. I assume it typically too, but I don't assume people hate me if they can see me. If they can't then maybe they do, maybe they don't.. I'm not really concerned. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How often do you encounter the former that you assume it? Is it an insecurity thing?

>>40922121
Assuming the best is a good way to get blindsided, best to just accept that it could go either way and wait to see what's even there.

>>40922122
Same way you do except they feel differently.

>>40922134
This doesn't entirely make sense to me, if I know a coin has 2 sides logically then no matter how many times I get heads in a row, I know tails can be a possibility so I can't expect to never get it. Based on that alone any feelings my brain might have that say otherwise will be clearly stupid to me, which means I can ignore them, which means that I'm now defaulting to "suspend judgment, assess situation" rather than assuming the worst.

two slices of pizza + ice tea

>>40922643
>How often do you encounter the former that you assume it? Is it an insecurity thing?
its a trauma thing ive been bullied all my life for being a minority so im extremely vigilant. like i bite first to not be bitten. im also not a very good person and most people tend to stay away from me/find me repulsive when they find out about my desires and what i did. and i smell bad lmao. its just more logical in my case to assume that people dont like me until proven otherwise

>>40922826
Yummy

>>40922853
>and i smell bad lmao.
90% of your problem desu

I hope everyone here is having a great day!
Please remember that your special and people care about you :3

i spent a hour and ahlaf polishing a rock it wasnt worth it

>>40923133
hygerine is hard to keep up with when you constantly zone out

>>40923737
>tfw no femrepper I can help with life

i think incels were right when they said that only cis men can be truecels because you can be a transbian or a ftm or a tranny or a femrepper and not shower and drink moldwater and still have people who desire you carnally

>>40923793
>who desire you carnally
I like helping people. I just tend to get on well with femreppers.
I never said I wanted to do anything sexual. Just help with her life :3

lily's the best

>>40923813
>I never said I wanted to do anything sexual. Just help with her life :3
you post a lot about finding us attractive so i just naturally made that assumption

>>40923854
I am into femreppers. Very much so. I'm not going to lie to you.
But if I were going to talk about sex stuff, I would be upfront with that.

I legitimately just like helping people. It is how I'm wired. I'm only really happy when I'm making someone else happy. When I'm not making someone else happy, I tend to very quickly enter a depressive spiral.
There does not need to be any sexual component to that. I really would like to hug, help and cook for many of the femreppers here because that is something that would make me happy. It is nothing deeper or less innocent than that :3

>>40923928
>I legitimately just like helping people. It is how I'm wired. I'm only really happy when I'm making someone else happy
im a really pessimistic and jaded person so when i encounter people like you i always suspect some ulterior motive idk. its probably not good or healhy

>>40923996
In fairness anon, there probably are not all that many people like me. I think I'm wired like this because of my overwhelming dpd and my specific combination of traumas. I could imagine people who may attempt to present themselves as selfless as a way to disarm you.
But with me, it is just 100% genuine. Helping people really is what makes me happy. Hell, before I transitioned I even worked as an aged care nurse. It actually makes it hard for me to make new friends or to get into new relationships, because I can be so overwhelming and some people think that there must be some ulterior motive at play.
For whatever reason, the two femreppers I have had relationships with have been the only two people to ever really 'get me', if that makes sense. It is one of the reasons why those relationships were so happy.

So I don't fault you for being suspicious anon. But with me, I am the real deal :3

>>40923928
you sound like my ex boyfriend except he wanted to help mtf reppers. why do you want to help femreppers specifically? my ex did it cause he had broken bird syndrome, which sounds similar to your reasoning, ive found people like you tend to have that.
im really surprised there arent more like you in these threads, youre the only one other than my ex who seeks out reppers. seems like an easy to invest in and manipulate population

>>40924192
>why do you want to help femreppers specifically?
I tend to get on well with femreppers for whatever reason. I think they are just the most receptive to the idea of some weird, short, soft, feminine and sensitive mtf who wants to help them.
My past two relationships were the best relationships of my life and they were both with femreppers.
>bird syndrome
Broken bird syndrome tends to be more self focused from my understanding. It also tends to have an end point, with interest lost once the bird is no longer broken.
I think mine is rooted in my dependent personality disorder. It is external for me. I can only feel happiness by making someone else happy. There is also no end point with me, if I ever get married, I would be just as committed to making my partner happy 30 years from now as I would be the day we got married.
>im really surprised there arent more like you in these threads
I think there may be some 'broken bird' type mtfs who could have some interest in femreppers. But that interest would typically take the form of 'saving' them from repping and encouraging transition.
I do not want to 'fix' anyone like that. I would rather like to help someone where they are at, rather than impose something on them. It is why I post about dysphoria management (rather than transition) here: >>40918705 in each thread.
>seems like an easy to invest in and manipulate population
I'm not attempting to manipulate anyone. Where you see people who could be manipulated, I see people who are in need of help. I would like to provide that help to whatever extent I can :3

>>40922853
Well if you're preemptively treating people like shit and smell horrible it's a self fulfilling prophecy at that point isn't it?

I get that trauma takes a toll, I've had a very traumatic life and have dealt with CPTSD etc. so I understand it can do weird shit. However, once you understand that a behavior stems from trauma then you can judge it as unreasonable and work on it and it stops over time. It's not something that stays especially once you recognize it. "Is this me or is this the situation?" You assess that every time immediately and discard when it's just you.

>>40923324
I'm on a bunch of antihistamines because my body has decided to start reacting to my period with MCAS flare ups. lol The irony is amazing.

>>40923486
Show.

>>40923793
I think if you're only sexually attracted to women you can be an incel if women don't like you.

I could probably find 10 guys for every 1 woman who's into me.

>>40924037
You help people for selfish reasons to escape pain and feel worthwhile, that's not genuine kindness. It's a form of controlling behavior in a way even.

While I understand focusing on others when you're fucked up yourself it's not quite the same as genuine kindness.

>>40924483
nta but all "kind" people are like that. no ones motives are pure. altruists help others because they have that chemical reaction in their brain at seeing soemone happy. its why sociopaths and psychopaths are usually egocentric, they lack that little chemical reaction thing triggered by empathy. nobodys motives are pure

>>40924606
I'm aware, but they were claiming to be "the real deal."

Also there are reasons to help that have nothing to do with empathy and everything to do with logistics, optics, function etc.

>>40924992
Anon, I understand being suspicious.
But realistically, any act of altruism is going to provide the altruistic person with a rush of happy chemicals in their brain. The question is if they are just doing the good act for those chemicals or because they actually care and the chemicals are secondary.
When I say that I'm the 'real deal', what I mean is that the main motivator for me is that care. Yes, I do feel better, but that is not why I like helping people.
Also, unlike others, this is not really something I can 'turn off'. There is a reason why people with dpd are so well known for getting into ultra abusive relationships and staying in them long term.

I promise you anon, I really do care about the femreppers who post here :3

>>40921769
Kind of? I was repressing some stuff for a while. I couldn't connect with other people and I did use to read m/m lemon fanfic, it didn't arouse me much usually and I couldn't masturbate to it. I have a specific fetish. Seems like I can have an enjoyable sexual experience without involving the fetish, but I don't think I'll ever be able to get off with another person. I've switched a lot over the years between live-action porn, hentai, and some form of written stuff, (fanfiction tagged with my fetish, literotica stuff with my fetish, tumblr posts with my fetish... there used to be a specific website just for stories about it. most written stuff is in the wrong pov though.)

>>40925038
I'm not the anon you were talking to.

I understand you need to make yourself feel good using other people like that, but telling me you genuinely care about a bunch of people you don't know is absolute bullshit at some level. There's that low grade "Oh they're homeless and could use help and I can do it so I will." care shit, that human obligation shit, but that's not real care.

You feed them because they're in front of you, but if they die a week from now you'll not going to know or care most likely. It's a hollow thing. Though I can't recall ever getting good feelings from that, it's more just "correct." You do the correct thing and then you forget about it and move on with your life.

Not a matter of suspicion btw, just human nature, which you acknowledge. I'm not calling you predatory, though it does seem to me that dependent people who are "helpful" are often kind of controlling and they use the things that they do as part of the control and dependency shit. It's not as appealing as "I'm so helpful." it's usually more like "I'm going to suffocate you with what I think is love and be baffled by your lack of reciprocation but continue to try harder because I don't have much self esteem." and the "help" is just codependence.

Anyway you won't convince you feel a form of care towards strangers that's worth much or respectable desu. I'm sure you feel something, but it's something that I don't consider meaningful, and won't, ever.

>>40925038
>>40925246
talking to initially*

I'm not suspicious of everyone I don't assume people dislike me instantly, I have friends etc. and so on.

I've helped a lot of people. Some of it was to think about shit that wasn't mine for a change and to solve problems that were solvable for me and see results. The rest of it was obligation, as a human I view it as ethically "wrong" (subjective of course, there's no such thing as "wrong" on an objective level) to be capable of help and not give it when faced with a situation where you could. It doesn't make me feel good though, I don't even really see myself as mattering in the equation.

Honestly it's made me dislike people a little more because I've seen that really most of them would be happier with a mirror than another person. That's part of why LLMs are doing so well amongst the unstable.

>>40925246
I think you are being overly pessimistic anon.
Disorders can have an amazing effect on the mind. The everything from making someone a savant to a serial killer. Is it really so hard to believe that someone could be broken in just the right way that they could be a true altruist? That they could legitimately care about strangers?
>I'm sure you feel something, but it's something that I don't consider meaningful, and won't, ever
I think that is very sad anon.
I understand that you see the world in your own way. I understand that people may have hurt you in the past under some initial guise of altruism.
But I think you should be open to the idea of someone being kind, not in some transactional or predatory way. But simply because they really do care.
When I say that I care about the anons who post in this general, I really do mean it. That is just how I'm wired, I cannot really think any other way.

>>40925340
Lol. I said I wasn't calling you predatory, I distinctly made that clear. Damn you don't even read. You're so ready to prove how great you are that you don't actually pay attention to what's said. lol.

I believe you think you "care" I also believe that kind of "care" that is, doesn't count as anything worthwhile because it has nothing to do with the individual.

i think the anon above is right that you cant really "care" about someone unless you know them on a more prsonal level idk. ig you can "care" in a broader systematic sense of not wanting people to suffer in generaL but you cant care about someone as an individual when theyre words on a screen

>>40925408
>I said I wasn't calling you predatory, I distinctly made that clear
If someone says they are not suspicious, I'm suddenly going to consider them suspicious, even if I didn't before.
>You're so ready to prove how great you are
I do not think I have ever attempted to do that.
If you look at my posts, even just over the last several threads. I think you will find that I often frame my dpd as a disorder rather than a virtue.
I do not think how I see and feel about the world makes me a good person; You are the one who has assigned morality to that.
>doesn't count as anything worthwhile because it has nothing to do with the individual
As I said before, I think that is very sad.
I'm sorry if someone has hurt you in the past anon. But I really do not think closing your self off into some defensive, jaded bubble is going to help you long term.
I really do care about you anon :3

>>40925479
Exactly this. It's an abstract form of care, it's not the same as caring for an individual. I think you can care for words on a screen when you're actively engaging with the individual to a point where they become more.

Otherwise it's form of care that is you know equivalent to giving a homeless person food. You care enough about shared humanity and life to do something, but it's impersonal in terms of them. They could be anyone, they're interchangeable with any other homeless person. I don't consider that "care" in a meaningful fashion.

>>40925489
Ok so what you're saying it because you decided to make up my intentions and you act from a place of suspicion that when I clearly word something you're just going to refuse to take it at face value? I don't get to be an individual person who you give a chance to because of your immediate assumptions correct?

You "care" so much, but you don't actually bother to see the other human on the other side. I don't use words just to use them, I mean exactly what I say. You didn't bother trying to learn that though, because you made shit up in your head. To me that's the opposite of caring about the humanity of people on the other side of a screen.

I haven't been in every thread and you're anonymous why would I necessarily even be able to pick you out? Are you that arrogant that you think for sure I know you and will know you? Lol.

Anon, you blatantly showed me you don't care. You keep showing me you don't care, because you're speaking to me in a manner I clearly think is disingenuous and laying it on thick while responding to projections.

You "care" about the idea of me, not me.

>>40925574
saying is*

>>40925574
I'm not going to further shit up the thread by talking about this anon. I have expressed what I wished to express.
But I will say again, that I think you have a very dim view of the world. It is saddening.
If you do not open yourself up to at-least the possibility of light, you will forever find yourself in darkness.

I really do care about you anon and I hope you have many other people in your life who care about you also.

>>40925683
nta but youre not seeing her point

>>40925683
You don't even know my world view, you know I think this kind of "care" is not equivalent to what I consider genuine care. Again you aren't speaking to me, you're speaking to an idea of another person and not actually paying attention to what's said to you.

You also ignored me saying I don't care for being spoken to the way you're speaking at me. Aside from all that you're not addressing points I made either.

You're not treating me like someone you care about, you're treating me like someone you're talking at to prove your worth and "care" to a crowd.

Im just going to blogpost. So I'm moving from the deep south to California soon. I have this fantasy that once I get to rainbow sparkle Libland that all my cowardice in regards to being trans will just melt away and I'll be able to live happily as a ftm. My ideal situation is i find a cute autist mtf and we live happyly ever after. But I'm also honestly scared to death that ill become deluded surrounded by poons and enbys and take it way too far. My worst fear is that I'll just stay an ugly fat girl surrounded by queers having their fun. I know being American is privelaged compared to being trans anywhere else but I think there is still a lot of long lasting fear and paranoia growing up in God hates fags land. I dont know how I'm gonna shake that off without falling in. I'm gonna have 2 ftm roommates btw. Blogpost over. Thanks for listening

>>40926700
I'm really happy for you anon! That sounds like a massive improvement from where you are now.
Any big change is going to be scary, but it really sounds like it is going to make you happy long term.
I'm biased here, but happy to hear you are considering getting a mtf gf also :3

>>40922643
>Gaiman
Still astounded by the breadth of his sex pest shenanigans. Hope to read his work from this new perspective in the near future.
>Valis
I do want to read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep eventually. When I like an author, I typically will read a few of their works in a row, so it may end up in hands at some point. Only time will tell.

I fucking love not going outside and not interacting with random people and watching the same things everyday I can't believe how great things are when I don't have to leave the house

>>40926700
>take it way too far
What does this mean to you?

>>40926785
I haven't followed what he did closely, so I don't know any specifics actually, I just know of the charges. I place art over artist as general rule so I didn't look into it.

I haven't read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, actually the first Valis book was my introduction to him, and I wanted to finish the trilogy, so I've never read any of his sci fi. A friend told me this specific book was the one I needed to read and he got me a copy. He was on point this book specifically is my kind of thing. There's things about it that I'd say compared more to something like Less Than Zero (Brett Easton Ellis) or Almost Transparent Blue (Ryu Murakami... though speaking of the Murakami's I'd slide Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood into a similar place here) rather than science fiction. Though judging on his writing style I'd assume I'd enjoy those too, I did like the original Blade Runner movie and Total Recall that being said.

>>40927342
I go outside but mostly to places where there won't be any people, other than that my life is pretty much a bubble where I just do things that I'm fine with and the world is something that exists elsewhere.

I don't watch the same things repeatedly though. What are watching?

>>40928328
>>40927342
+ you

>>40928328
>I go outside but mostly to places where there won't be any people
That's probably better, there are nice places outside especially if where you're going is like some pretty nature area, it's just too much of a hassle right now. Where I am there are people everywhere anyway.
>What are you watching?
I'm currently autisticly obsessed with worlds shittiest webcomic and have been rewatching the same content multiple times daily for the past like 2 months it might truly be rotting my brain.

Are femreppers in the lgbt community?

>>40929539
the dykes are
>>40923813
devious picrel

>>40930235
Obviously but what about the non sapphic ones

>>40929539
>>40930358
They have gender dysphoria, so I would probably group them all up under the 'Q'.
Obviously also the bi and lesbian femreppers are inherently part of the community for their own characteristics.
>>40930235
>devious picrel
It honestly was just the first captcha I got for that post. I was laughing so hard, I had to screenshot it.
Especially since I would actually like to help with T injections :3

>>40928508
Lot of nature yeah, but I go out at odd hours too to decrease my chances of human interaction.

I'm curious what web comic.

>>40929539
I'm bi.

>>40921769
Yea same I was functionally asexual in regards to real people with a passive like towards women from 13-16. only read male-female fanfiction but had no interest in actual men until I started test then my attraction went to females only with visual over fantasy/written arousal

>>40930358
I don't consider myself LGBT just because I have gender dysphoria and I'm not hrtrepping or anything. I post on this board because who gaf but I wouldn't go to real LGBT spaces just because of this, I just consider myself a straight volcel.
>>40931345
Homestuck

im schrodingers lgbt. im a tranny but also im also a cis woman. ig im also lgbt by default if you consider aromantics lgbt but thats a really devisive topic. feel free to argue about it with me im bored

>>40932860
I think having dysphoria makes you lgbt by default. That Q is very expansive.

>>40932888
in theory i agree with you but i think it comes down to the individual. like if one wants to label herself as queer because she experiences GD thats fair but some people might wanna hold onto their cishet status. i have the same attitude towards other letters like ive met gays who dont consider themselves l;gbt n shit

>>40932935
Nta, I agree that dysphoria gives you an opt-in/opt-out identity, but don’t feel it’s possible to choose to opt out if you’re openly gay (thoughever you can absolutely disagree with the values of the broader community).

>>40932935
Nta, I agree that dysphoria gives you an opt-in/opt-out identity, but don’t feel it’s possible to choose to opt out if you’re openly gay.

I hope everyone has been having a nice day so far!
I'm making some pancakes. I also just got invited to a lunch with my best friend on the weekend, so I'm really excited :)
I hope you are all having an equally nice time and looking forward to a great weekend :3

>>40933835
Love pancakes. Anything in/on them?

>>40933920
Normally I would have them with some sugar and lemon juice. But I'm out of lemon juice. So I'm just enjoying them with some butter.
I love making homemade pancakes. I just wish I could share them with someone :3

please god make ftms learn how to voice train please. im so tired of their retarded frog voices. im not even on t but i voicetrained to the point where my voice has a naturally deeper cadence in the female/androgynous range. its not even hard because after a while your throat streches and it becomes naturally bassy (explaining it like a retard bc idk the actual anatomy terms). like you have no business having that squeaky ass door handle voice

It's my birthday. I had a day out planned (I have no friends and live away from family, just me) but I just couldn't get myself out of bed in the morning and I'm still lying here nine and a half hours later. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not going to kill myself because I'm afraid of death but there's a lump in my leg that's probably fine but I'm choosing through inaction to not get it checked out. Things will continue as usual and it will be the same next year and next year and next year. I'm not cutting myself like I used to but over the past six months I've started hitting myself in the head again when I get too frustrated and can't talk. It upsets the people around me but it's a more practical alternative to freezing up midsentence because I'm stuck simulating how I should be talking instead of actually saying it. I should get a therapist but I live in Britain and am poor so lmao

imma start calling myself non binary as a joke. haha get it. binary. binary code. I'm a human, not a machine, therefore non binary. Haha get itttt?
>>40934395
happy birthblasttt ! Fellow no-friends-haver! Don't get a retarded therapist they won't do shit, get into self improvement content on Youtube- the actual helpful ones, not "buy this product" scams.
I understand the "cant talk" shit tho, honestly I feel like people make people like us internalize that too much. Like who cares. The thing Ive found helpful is just blocking out the world completely and accepting the recluse lifestyle and finding a hobby to adsorb myself in, particularly one that gives a sense of power like programming or animation/art.
Ive spent almost all my birthdays alone lol Its gonna get better but it only gets better when you block out the noise that is other peoples existence.
>>40934254
if you voice train without T would that mean you technically still have the ability to sing? I heard these people lose the ability to sing once on T. Personally idc about that but I just find it odd if true.

>>40916994 (OP)
Has anyone ever worn men’s underwear (really awful bump question, I’m sorry. I couldn’t think of anything else)

>>40926738
Thx friend
>>40927660
So I'll be honest, I would ideally like to live without gender completely. But I do not identify as non binary and find 99% of enbys hopelessly embarrassing. I dont think I've ever seen an actually gender neutral looking person. I have androgynous potential in that I am an ugly woman with a big chin and tall forehead. I also think it'd be unfeasable for me to work in academia like I want to while parading around as a genderless freak, as much as I kind of want to do that. I just wish there was a normal way to be neither a man or a woman and I'm afraid since I've never had more than 2 friends in my entire life that ill just want that community so bad that ill shave my eyebrows off and get my nose pierced just to stay in the friend group. Blogpost part 2 over

>>40936308
Yeah but it was mostly an unremarkable experience, I think it's more comfortable though.

>>40936308
I am wearing men's underwear right now.

>>40936634
Please, feel free to go into detail :3

if i was a man id do numbers with hybristophile girlies they loooooooveee people like me.

>>40934682
the "losing the ability to sing" thing is from retards not wanting to learn male singing and surprised that female singing doesn't work
it's different abilities, thats all

>>40934682
>if you voice train without T would that mean you technically still have the ability to sing?
yeah idk i never tried singing. but i think that it wont be the same bc voicetraining affects your vocal cords like istg my adams apple became more prominent after i started it.

ftm -> easy, just make yourself unattractive and everyone see you as male.
mtyf -> not possible. sorry.

>>40936699
Ugly women look like women

>>40936384
>unfeasible for me to work in academia like I want to
This fully depends; what field?
>I’ll want community so bad I’ll shave off my eyebrows
Eyebrows grow back, piercings heal. It’s okay if you get a little bit weird after being given space to try and figure out who you are. Just be careful with substances and sex stuff.

>>40925132
now you've got me curious anon. what's this fetish of yours that's in demand enough to have its own dedicated site for fanfiction? i've never heard of something like that before since i never ventured out of wattpad, ao3 and literotica when i used to read erotica. i get the feeling it's rape for some reason.

>>40936650
red cotton boxer briefs. bought from target.

>>40937040
The site was for original fiction. It was called the impregnatorium. I was never into breeding kink fanfiction for fandoms I was actually into, because hetshit. Very sad if I care about the characters. I do mostly get off on rape tumblr posts now.

>>40936968
I wamma be a history professor....... and i guess you're right. But I just don't know how my brain will be able to balance craving community and earning a normal life when I know a "normal life" is impossible for me already as an autist and would be even harder as a ftm

>>40936308
ive switched to exclusively wearing male underwear when i turned 12 and i havent looked back since. female underwear is ugly uncomfortable and humiliating

>>40937861
Sigourny Weaver panties are amazing. You take that back.

>>40937861
Women's boxers are superior tho. No awkward itchy space, it doesnt get stuck in your ass, and it fits perfectly.

>>40938171
idk how big is your ass lmao mine never get stuck

hai femrepgen wats up its been awhile i havent been posting here because ive been hyperfixating on homestuck instead of just being miserable

>>40939150
Wow same except I've also been being miserable
who's your favorite character

>>40939175
john because of the tranny headcanon shit...... which is technically canon somehow but idk yet because i havent read the entirety of the epilogues. i keep telling myself ill read them but i never do so i was just rereading the comic instead because its more fun

>>40939150
Hi jarbi. I coloured in my picture of you so you don’t have to be white anymore.
Homestuck is, unfortunately, unironically responsible for everything good in my life.

>>40939304
woaw it looks more epic now :D

>Homestuck is, unfortunately, unironically responsible for everything good in my life.
i wish i could say the same but [REDACTED] unfortunately still hates me...

>>40939422
id hate you too if i was him

>>40939459
KEK

tbdesu trvue... if i was him id hate me too because why am i getting into the same stuff as him just because hes into it.... i even classpected myself..... totally not because of him aha

>>40939630
i think he should be legally allowed to kill you

>>40939630
>i even classpected myself
What are you

>>40939635
i hope so too thatd end my misery really fast... but what if it does reverse psychology on him and he decides not to kill me because itd actually make me happy and he wouldnt want that ahaha

>>40939650
i dont want to tell you but its purple and one of the canon trolls has it in the comic

>>40939422
>woaw it looks more epic now
Thank you!
>[REDACTED] unfortunately still hates me...
Do they genuinely for sure hate you, or is this more a melodramatic “it’s better than the reality - he doesn’t think of me at all”, situation.
>>40939630
>classpected myself
Mine is heir of hope, which is pretty gay and self-aggrandizing, but what can you do.

>>40939919
>or is this more a melodramatic “it’s better than the reality - he doesn’t think of me at all”, situation.
i think it might be more like that actually LOL.
though i never really believe it is fully that way because i used to think he didnt care at all before and i did shit for him to care and his friends came out to tell me i apparently traumatized him or something. so i just like exaggerating that specific part in my head, it makes me feel a lot worse

>>40939967
>his friends came out to tell me i apparently traumatized him or something
Were you all teenagers at the time?

>>40939980
no i think i was like 17 or 18, most of them are only slightly older than me so yea maybe idk

>>40940000
Was there any indication that you were making him uncomfortable before they all approached you?

>>40940251
i only ever heard him say he thought the weird stuff i drew about him was funny when i was still on his priv but it might not have been true idk. i was never that close to him. the ones who expressed being uncomfortable the most were always his friends tho

>>40940289
What you did was fucked (I only know about the weird porn art and general parasocial behaviours, not sure if there was more), but I’m also sorry that that they weren’t capable of approaching you without freaking out at the time. Which isn’t really their fault either if they were young, but still a shitty thing to have to experience, especially because with online drama there’s not really anyone you can talk about it with.
Did you ever get a chance to apologize to him?

>>40940433
i wouldnt even consider apologizing anymore at this point desu. i see myself as more of an abuser and itd be just weird and i know my apology wouldnt be accepted. idk. i think the best apology would be dying maybe, a lot of people feel that way about their abusers. but otherwise... maybe ill just focus on my own stuff or something, like the tulpa thing. it helps me cope, but also makes me feel kinda bad deep down

Love YouTube

>>40940606
@grok is this real

nigga

>>40940606
is this the same guy who made that "your life as a transatlantic slave (worse than a concubine)" shit lmao

>>40940480
>i wouldnt even consider apologizing anymore at this point
I think you’re right that it’s a bit too late, but also I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to try and explain yourself before. It’s really difficult feeling like someone has the wrong idea about you and not being able to do much about it. I’ve been in this situation before and it took me awhile to get over.
>i think the best apology would be dying maybe
I have to disagree. Going to blogpost a bit, but I used to have an irl stalker who did the same thing as you, except irl so these were physical papers that existed (sandwiched between drawings of Twiska from the hentai Brandish, which is very funny looking back on it) - pros and cons to that. Freaked me out at the time, I flipped out a bit, but if I wouldn’t want them to spend their entire life self-flagellating over me, let alone die for my sake. I’m already over it, not one to judge over what people feel is traumatic, but I’m far from traumatized myself. A teenager, who was definitely fucked up from things completely unrelated to me, drew some weird shit and gets a little socially inappropriate with it. Not the end of the world.
>focus on my own stuff
Probably a good idea.
Does January have a backstory that has anything to do with that person, or is it unique to her?

i just don't understand why i as a xx chromosomed wombyn possess the absurd desire to mate and breed someone with the seed i don't have. my existence is so pathetic, it's not even funny. i'll literally never be satisfied with anything in my entire life.

>>40940903
January is pretty much just like him but shes trans and maybe thats all there is to it. she appears in my dreams sometimes too and it makes me happy. perhaps shes one of the only things keeping me alive, but if i said that people would get worried so idk. i should probably find something else to live for as well

>>40940606
hes not wrong

my ontologically unimportant problem of the day that i wanna whine about is the fact that once you open an energy drink thats in a can you cant store it properly in any way you cant save some for later or anything, but the energy drinks that are sold in bottles and can be stored after opened taste different. they dont taste as good and crisp as the ones in aluminium cans

>>40940993
>perhaps shes one of the only things keeping me alive
Thats okay. That one anon said she’s only living for a treat every morning. I’ve chosen to live for reasons that seem small sometimes too.
>find something else to live for
Lifemaxxing is generally good. I like your art and hope I’ll get to see more of it. In general and not necessarily here, because I hope everyone is eventually able to leave the limbo of femrepping.

>>40940993
dude you are insane but like not even in the cool esoteric way or anything. the dumb loser kind of insane

>>40941094
Do you not have these where you are?

>>40941126
no

>>40941104
thats okay because im not trying to be cool or esoteric. i already know im this weird

>>40941132
Shipping you one right now. Inshallah it gets through customs and arrives safely.

>>40941095
>I hope everyone is eventually able to leave the limbo of femrepping.
Does it ever truly end

>>40941180
Not for everyone. But I don’t think this is a good place to let yourself stay long-term if you have any space in your life to make choices for yourself.

>>40940962
at least we're in this together

There is no actual reason to want to stay a lesbian unless you enjoy being constantly mocked by others. Only other lesbians like lesbians, everyone else cis or trans hates them. I was feminine as a child and never showed outward signs of dysphoria so I could never call myself an actual straight trans man because I would be becoming a mockery of them. Why am I dysphoric and not even masculine. I wish my sexuality was just caused by the internet and I'm actually asexual. I feel so disgusted by myself all the time.

>>40941168
thank you nonnie

>>40943109
there is no actual reason to want to stay a woman unless you enjoy being constantly mocked by others

>>40939674
are you a bard of a rage that's so awesome i'm a bard of breath

>>40940962
same. some lesbians will apparently let me play pretend with them but what's the fucking use?

no one asked but when i took the homestuck classpect quiz i got bard of light

>>40943316
>>40943371
yea actually i started researching about every single classpect because i was unsure of what i really was but deep down i had a feeling and i just wanted to be anything other than a bard of rage LOL

bards are a tricky class though. their aspects manifest in such a way that makes them not rlly seem like that aspect at first but its not as obvious as with princes because its a passive destruction class. meaning they can destroy their aspect/through their aspect without pretty much doing anything like it just happens even if they didnt mean to

i honestly thought i couldve been a bard of void too but i also kind of dont want to be lmao because then i would share an aspect with... her. and that wouldnt be very fun because i also classpected my husband and hes a prince of void. we are the voidlings please feed us

>>40936308
yeah it's comfy but discharge will fuck it up most of the times

>>40943988
im not sure if the classpect quiz is accurate desu. i kind of feel more connected to the doom aspect. i wish i had someone who knew more about this to type my aspect or something idk lmao

>>40943988
I took a lot of tests and got hope or breath mostly. Rouge a lot. When I read into it, it was obvious I'm more blood-breath than hope-rage, if it's about my actual fixations, concerns, what i care about. Rouge of breath or bard of blood is more accurate than bard of breath. I'm constantly on 4chan, I don't think I need to explain. I'm certainly unlike Rufioh Nitram.

>>40944200
yea they arent accurate which is why i started reading extensively about them lol. if you feel connected to the doom aspect then you probably are because personally doom is the hardest aspect to understand for me

>>40944200
I made this. Probably not entirely accurate since it’s just based on my interpretations, but could help. (This one only works for doom but happy to make others if other anons are interested).
If you want to pick a number (or multiple if you want a couple of options) I can tell you which class it is, or I can just send my “answer key” if you’d prefer to think about it on your own.

Femreppers have anything fun planned for the weekend?
I'm going to be having lunch with my bff + her family and I'm also going to bake some brownies!
I hope you all have a great weekend :3

>>40944730
Not the original anon but can you say what 11 is?

>>40944730
2 and 7 both seem obviously light. 3 is life. 4 is doom. 8 is time. 11 is void. 12 is blood.

>>40945591
goddamn it this was classes not aspects. wait a moment.

>>40944730
1. heir
2. knight
3. bard
4. ?
5. thief
6. ?
7. seer
8.prince
9.rogue
10. mage
11. maid
12.page
I am a guesser.

>>40944730
can you do a breath one

>>40945275
Witch. The sacrificial component (losing the house) isn’t important here so much as manipulating the situation through the aspect (attempting to change the rules of the doom scenario), and the dealmaking (the house is an “exchange”, not a sacrifice).

An example for the mind aspect could be that you’re stuck in a tunnel with a puzzle-door that leads to treasure on one end, and enemies on the other, if you would offer to split the treasure with the enemies in exchange for their assistance with the puzzle, I’d associate that instinct with the witch class.
>>40945679
For sure

>>40944730
the thing about classpecting is that there is no consistency to the source media the typology stems from, so your own interpretations have integrity compared to canon even as a reader's interpretation. homestuck sucks it's such a shame the classpecting system is so interesting. 9 and 10 are interesting to me in how similar they are yet how particular the wording has to be (surrender/accept), so my guess: heir and maid?

>>40945679
Breath in picrel. These ones are in a different order.
>>40945672
Correct for seer.
>>40945932
Correct for maid. Extremely close with heir, that one is 8.
The doom one is in the same order as they’re listed on the mspa wiki, albeit with one swap.

Is it possible to completely suppress sexuality/desire for romance completely, I was on SSRIs for years but it didn't help at all. I'm never going to be able to be in a relationship so I wish I lacked the desire to have one at all

>>40947477
I’d think about why you feel you need it and if there’s other ways to fill those voids (without them being more harmful to your person).
Filling as many of the voids as you can will give you the best shot of feeling okay without it.

>>40945932
(Samefag as >>40946466)
>Correct for maid, extremely close for heir
Realizing I completely fucked that up actually, jeeze - maid was the one that’s close, being 8.

Genuinely what is the solution if you are incapable of fitting in with both men and women. I just make everyone uncomfortable no matter what I do

>>40948209
Find some weirdos. Weird hobby groups. Queer spaces. You'll find someone to befriend eventually.

>>40948242
I've tried to do that and the people there don't like being around me either, I haven't made an irl friend since middle school

>>40948209
Are you diagnosed autistic?

>>40948409
No, I don't know why this is always the response when people are socially inept. There are plenty of diagnosed autistic people who do better socially than me

met the most performative male feminist ever holy shit i felt my eye twitch talking to him it was so bad i hate my life and i hate scrotes

>>40948984
what was he like

>>40948436
I’m well aware, not autistic myself but still have social issues I’m working through. Was just making sure before discussing it further.
Do you have any hard evidence they don’t like being around you or is it more of a “ruining the energy” feeling.

>>40948984
what did he say that made you realize it was performative? or do you just hate men so disregard any opinion they have on feminism entirely

>>40949106
"ruining the energy" I guess but people also purposely ignore me all the time too

All the accounts that I use for repfuel & suppressionfuel are private right now what gives

just got severely upset at those llamarider37 videos people were laughing about on xitter because he talks about how gay relationships are so much better because guys understand each other much better and girls are cranky annoying and bitchy and like shopping clothes and ask to marry after fucking for the first time or whatever. fuck my entire life why am i taking this so seriously ive genuinely been crying for the past like 20 minutes because i will never be a man and i will never experience an authentic gay relationship because of how fembrained i am

>>40943328
at least you've had sex nigga i'm too socially retarded and unattractive to even approach any women. not that it would yield any results since i live in a yuropoor shithole anyway fuck my life man.

>>40950010
>ignore me all the time
When you’re talking? Or your general presence?

Bump

>>40950778
You are right that you are too fembrained to be a man because i cant imagine a man or even a malebrained ftm being upset or bothered by this

shoplifted an enwrgy drink today and nails for sculptures. i shouldve also shoplifted sand paper it wouldve been so easy but i pussied out lol

I'm a straight woman. Please have sex with me

>>40954021
omw

i miss one day and you guys were doing homestuck in here? we're never beating the stereotypes

I wish I were a woman too

>>40954080
imagine caring about what other people think. couldnt be me. could never be me. i do what i want i dont care if its malebrained or fembrained. im literally a carpenter but i always buy(steal) cute "girly" stickers whenever i see them, because theyre fun and i like slapping them onto stuff.

>>40954080
it was entirely my fault

>>40954080
You can't fight the homestuck

>>40954080
Stereotypes for which demographic, now?

i dont trust most trans women. not in the terf 'OMG YOURE A MALE YOURE GONNA RAPE ME' way but like. i gotta know if your perception of womanhood isnt mentally retarded in order to respect you, i gotta know that you dont think that being a woman means that youre supposed to be a ditzy cocksucking slut who loves shopping and makeup and doing nails and has no real hobbies. you have to prove to me that youre not a retard because if you are a retard your caveman beliefs about femaleness will extend onto me and trust me im none of that shit

>>40955027
I honestly haven’t really met any like that irl. I know they’re out there I just don’t think they’re big enough of a demographic in my area to think about.
I’ve met two passoids who were completely normal people, an autistic boymoder who would be considered very normal for an autistic woman, and one ogrehon who does that collar and leash in public shit.

>>40955027
It's insane how being an HSTS let's you get away with an insane amount of misogyny the same way being a gay man does. Unfortunately it's usually other women that let them get away with it which makes me feel like I'm an insane person seeing any kind of awareness of feminism evaporate from younger people

Being ftm actually would be so horribly cucked its great that I'm not one

>>40955027
>i gotta know if your perception of womanhood isnt mentally retarded in order to respect you
it doesnt matter. you dont have to know if a cis womans perception of womanhood is retarded in order to respect her. it should be the same for trans women too.

>being a woman means that youre supposed to be a ditzy cocksucking slut who loves shopping and makeup and doing nails and has no real hobbies.
and whats wrong with that? cis women can do that if they like. why shouldnt we let other women who arent cis do that too?

>you have to prove to me that youre not a retard
oh wow ableist too. it doesnt matter that most terminally online trans women are autistic tho... i mean doesnt it basically make you perceive gender in a different way? there shouldnt be anything wrong with that. and if you cant understand it then well idk go hang out with neurotypicals or something.

>if you are a retard your caveman beliefs about femaleness will extend onto me
lmfao

>>40956165
same anon. sometimes i feel horrible about it but in the end maybe i can tolerate being a woman

>>40955027
harsh but fair

>>40956663
>you dont have to know if a cis womans perception of womanhood is retarded in order to respect her
yes i do. i dont talk to retards, cis or not
>and whats wrong with that? cis women can do that if they like
because most of them were conditioned into being that, and trannies who are that are aping that mysogynistic conditioning.
>oh wow ableist too.
do you know where you are
>well idk go hang out with neurotypicals or something
im more neurodivergent than you and most "autistic" people online. ive been called a retard my whole life i think im allowed to "reclaim" it. not that it matters lmao this is 4chan literally everyone here uses 'retard' as a synonym for "stupid person that i dont like"