Thread 40930499

My girlfriend (t4t) has been having a rough time. She's beautiful and intelligent but she's super traumatized and hasn't been treated well despite all her good qualities. I've been treated similarly, but am more currently capable.

I was a bit worried about getting burned out. But, then I realized.... the point is not to live for myself. I can't live for myself, and find it very hard to motivate myself towards a better life for my own sake. However, I love her so much, and am very motivated towards her not suffering anymore, and not feeling pain anymore... I can work hard for her. I can feel fulfilled in my success if it's for her.

I'm going to get a really good job. I'm going to get money, and be the best I can be, so that I can share a life together with her, without pain. I'll be successful and take away all her sorrows, and it will feel wonderful.

I have something to live for. Someone to live for. She'll be my inspiration to make my life better. I'm already getting outside more, taking more chances, trying more.

Wish me luck anons.

>>40930499 (OP)
why do anons not want to wish me luck in providing for my girlfriend :(

>>40930610
im sorry anon i just saw the thread
hope u can provide for ur gf also look into getting her on disability moneys maybe they'll give you money for ptsd

>>40930625
Nah anon, she won't need it, I'll take care. I have ptsd too, but I can get things done. She'll work a job she likes that she can put down whenever she wants.

I got ptsd too, and a lot of physical pain from it, but I'm gonna work.

>>40930499 (OP)
be careful i lived selflessly for a long time and it'll wear you down, and dont count on anyone to have your back for your good work.
so good luck.
oh i just read that 2nd post waiting for this timer and i typed the goodluck without seeing it :)
i know what thats like, and im trying to be selfish for myself cause i really did just get done doing years being selfless for my hooved boahs.
and that's no easy feat. saving horses. it takes alot. but its kind of cool cause i know im blessed from doing it.

I wish I had a transbian who cared enough about me to do this.. but im just pathetic anyway and dont deserve it

>>40930677
I'm not being completely selfless. I want to do this for myself too, and happy wife means happy life. I'm using my empathy and love for her to hack my brain into caring about making my life better.

>>40930693
been there.
hope you'll be okay.
and good for you, for doing it.

>>40930499 (OP)
Good luck anon, sometimes you gotta go with whatever works in the moment and worry about fixing stuff at the root later. You seem to know where you're at and what will drive you towards the place of stability you'll need to address the root stuff later down the line. Bless you. Wishing you and your gf the best. Genuinely hope this gambit works out for you

>>40930747
Thank you anon. I'm actually close to doing good, and her life has improved a lot too. I just need the reminder of why I'm doing things when I'm feeling discouraged. It's the girl version of Homer's sign at the nuclear plant. "Do it for her."

>>40930499 (OP)
Trauma is not a reason to stop contributing to society. She can work while she works through her problems. She is not the only one with them. In encouraging her to relax and not try to put herself out there, you're going to do so much more long term damage.
Road to hell good intentions blah blah

>>40930499 (OP)
Good luck anon.
I myself have selfishly put someone I love through hell from my own trauma. It was only my head injury that snapped me out of it but it destroyed him in the in between time. Dont destroy yourself, no one turns out better for it.
Now I have a lifetime to pay for my sins, and he has lost almost all of his sense of empathy from the hardship he went through.
But if you can do it. Respect.

>>40930768
Trauma is one thing, PTSD is another. I have it too, but had the fortunate ability to get treatment levels that most others cannot access. It's very hard to do much well when you're in constant pain, jumping at every loud noise, and in a state of panic at the drop of the hat involuntarily. I remember, and it sucked. If we get to a stable place where I have enough money then she can get treatment like I was able to get.

>>40930499 (OP)
I hope one day a girl cares half as much about me as you do about her. Manifesting good things for both of you, good luck <3

>>40930768
Fuck you. Not everyone has to "contribute to society" you neoliberal work or die shill retard

>>40930768
No. Trauma absolutely is capable of destroying someone to the point of being unable to contribute anything. I would know, as I said my head injury is what snapped me out of it, but that was a very specific set of circumstances and a VERY dangerous hail mary of a shitload of mushrooms in one go to try to crash course fix myself nearly destroying myself even more in the process, if not entirely. I dont think many people have a full concept of just how deeply trauma is capable of ripping out your soul.
But also because of that very fact that it was such an absurdly specific series of events that lead to me being able to shed my cognitive defects? I cannot advocate it for anyone else, and on top of that I cannot advocate taking care of someone because past a certian point it is just palliative care.
One of the most horrific things about it was the realization that the injury practically threw my entire personality at the window and I ended up doing way more thinking about identity than anyone should ever do, and I realized that when my depressed friends say 'I wish I could wipe away myself and start over with a new personality' I cant even say that they were wrong. I cannot say 'no you must treasure yourself' because honestly? Having most of my personality wiped was exactly what I needed.

>>40930806
I hope you'll find one too :)