Thread 40944427

Why the fuck do friends get upset if you don't talk to them for a few days or weeks

>Why are you ignoring me
>Are you mad at me
>Did I do something wrong
>Are you ever coming back

Fuck off you clingy retards I just want to be alone sometimes fuck I hate that so many people are like this

>>40944427 (OP)
I also ghost good people for months on end, drop disc so we can ghost each other

>>40944427 (OP)
Do you find having friends to be draining

>>40944427 (OP)
A few days? Sure. Weeks? You're checking out of the friendship. There are very few things in life you can just check out of for 30 days without consequences.

>>40944444
I honestly don't know what to say to them, when I had friends they would feel uncomfortable that I just sat there, they would constantly ask me if I was angry or sad, if there was anything wrong but I just liked hearing them and occasionally participating, never saw the need to be constantly talking, I had to remind them that I found impossible to express myself properly though text, that everything was right just that messaging seemed redundant.

>>40944427 (OP)
Fix both your avoidant tendencies and your people pleasing tendencies anon.
The people who's connection you genuinely do not value. Drop em. It's fine. It doesn't matter what they think of you.
The ones you do. You've gotta do better on your end to communicate your need for space, and you've gotta also, put work into healing the root cause of that need for so much space.
There is a middle ground between what you are currently able to give and what certain people want from you that you must strive towards for a happy life.
And the clingiest of those people must learn to not come demanding your attention so much. Know that (mostly) they mean well and those who get this stuff know people like you mean we'll too.
Genuinely though do drop the ones who just piss you off who you have literally 0 care for.
You might be on top of this shit already.

>>40944427 (OP)
I feel the same way. It's just a few days I like to be alone I don't understand why it's a big deal when I do it but not when they do

>>40944491
I'm sure you'll find people who match your style of friendship

>>40944427 (OP)
Do you like video games? We can be friends if you want :)

>>40944427 (OP)
I find that people who do this never make an attempt to reach out themselves. Ignore retarded npc human requests if they cannot do the bare minimum you cannot be friends.
>>40944482
Says the person who relies on others doing everything for them.

>>40944427 (OP)
>>Why are you ignoring me
>>Are you mad at me
>>Did I do something wrong
>>Are you ever coming back
The only thing stopping me from doing all of those is that I have an image of cold, distant, independent person that I need to maintain. But deep down inside, whenever people talk to me less, im panicking and imagining that they found someone they like more than me and will abandon me at any moment.

>>40944427 (OP)
>Why the fuck do friends get upset if you don't talk to them for a few days or weeks
If you only talk to someone onse or twise every month ,its a MASSIVE stretc to kall them your friend
Friendship is a relationship that requires some level of effort to be put in
If they are doing so ,and you arent ,it makes sense that they would think you dont kare about them muc

>>40945898
>I find that people who do this never make an attempt to reach out themselves.
Na I like to talk to people I feel klose to ,and regularly try to talk to them multiple times over the span of a few months before giving up
Its usually the other way around for me ,where sometimes people I used to be really klose to only talk to me a few times a month ,if at all

>>40944427 (OP)
I am the same way :(
I am just too tired

>>40945938
>If you only talk to someone onse or twise every month ,its a MASSIVE stretc to kall them your friend
not everyone is a clingy 20 year old boymoder NEET chronically online.

adults have busy lives and maybe a couple of hours to unwind after work

>>40944591
Yeah...kinda at middle life but I hope

>>40945993
"a couple of hours" is more than enough time to shoot someone a kouple texts a few times a week

You dont have friendships if you only talk to them onse in a blue moon ,you have akquaintanses

>>40944482

This, you're a bad friend, OP

>>40946025
OK what do I ask them? Not much happens in my life so I don't have much to say

>>40946025
>"a couple of hours" is more than enough time to shoot someone a kouple texts a few times a week
what are you even going to say that has any significance?

>>40944427 (OP)
no literally same like sometimes i just want to disappear for a few weeks youre just gonna make me hate you if you force us to talk to each other
but also
if *i* feel like talking to you and you dont respond within 10 minutes you hate me and wish i was dead ^^

>>40946025
fucking normie

>>40946094
>if *i* feel like talking to you and you dont respond within 10 minutes you hate me and wish i was dead ^^
that's where you falling apart. all you need to do is just let your friend know that you like to disappear for few weeks at a time and that you may not respond

>>40946094
>if *i* feel like talking to you and you dont respond within 10 minutes you hate me and wish i was dead ^^
This

>>40946120
i do lol only one person has ever not made a big deal out of it and our friendship ended up being a million times deeper than all the others combined
this is why my relationships never last maybe i should stop talking to normal people lol

>>40946154
>i do lol only one person has ever not made a big deal out of it and our friendship ended up being a million times deeper than all the others combined
what is that person like anyway?

>>40946167
his life is a lot more put together and he's really busy all the time so he doesn't mind if i need to dip
but also he's like 100% insane and doesn't believe me when i tell him lmaoo
if i feel like disappearing he just wants me to tell him how long i'll be gone and i usually do (sometimes a little afterwards since i can get a little uhhhhhhh silly sometimes and freak out and block him usually when a lot of stuff is going on)
whenever i get back things are pretty much back to normal and sometimes we talk for several hours we've also hung out irl a bunch of times

>>40946216
((also if it wasnt obvious im hopelessly in love with him maybe idk BUT he will never find out ^-^))

>>40946216
>sometimes a little afterwards since i can get a little uhhhhhhh silly sometimes and freak out and block him usually when a lot of stuff is going on)
that's funny. if I was him I would find you irl and bang on your door while dragging you out on why you blocked me.

>>40946224
>((also if it wasnt obvious im hopelessly in love with him maybe idk BUT he will never find out ^-^))
seduce him

>>40946263
yeah i mean he usually insults me a bunch and threatens the shit out of me esp if i was gone for long
>seduce him
hes straight anon
im trans
yk how it is : )

>>40946297
>yeah i mean he usually insults me a bunch and threatens the shit out of me esp if i was gone for long
I think he loves u too.

>yk how it is : )
just do whatever fetish he has and make it work

>>40944427 (OP)
yeah I'm like this too, really need my space. it makes me kinda worry how I'm gonna manage being in a relationship lol

>>40946323
please dont give me hope lol
he deserves someone so much better than me seriously the fact that we ever became friends was pure chance we live two completely different lives
he doesnt even use /lgbt/ he just wanted to troll me and like one other person he added off of a random thread because he thought it would be funny
im also probably gonna kms anyways

>>40946342
My gf is like this and it really strains our relationship. When she gets stressed she tends to isolate herself in solitary hobbies. She's fine ignoring me for days on end, is not very curious about what I do, and barely remembers what I'm like. She says she cares about me but it's honestly hard to tell.

>>40946520
maybe try to seduce her one night you sleep together with whatever fetish she is into.

and if she rejects it, just go 100% in.

>>40946428
>he doesnt even use /lgbt/ he just wanted to troll me and like one other person he added off of a random thread because he thought it would be funny
he sounds like he wants you.

>>40946520
I tend to default to isolating myself when left to my own devices and have hobbies like solo camping where I'll literally go days without talking to another human, but I always remember what people close to me are like. I have family/friends that I only talk to a couple times a year that I would die for. Too much social interaction just makes me feel claustrophobic and exhausted.

>>40946618
I have seduced her successfully before but she has dysmorphia so sex isn't something she's very comfortable with still. It doesn't help that her main fetish is furry. What am I supposed to do, buy a fursuit?

>>40946668
If you can't talk to them much then how exactly do you know what they're like?

>>40946520
>>40946702
you should break up with her anon it sounds like she cares more about her comfortable little autistic bubble than she does you

>>40946799
I guess because I mostly either grew up with them or had a shared experience that was meaningful enough for us to form a personal connection. I don't have anyone who I would consider a family member or close friend where that isn't the case. I feel like the interactions I do have tend to mean a lot to me, kinda like that quote about how there are centuries when nothing happens and weeks where centuries happen or however it goes.

>>40944427 (OP)
I feel this
>>40944482
I'm old and miss the days before internet where it was fine to check out for weeks. The only contact was having a long phonecall, written letters (I miss using email as that before instant messaging) or meeting up in person.
IM/DM have ruined things and now everyone expects you to message back immediately, amd if ypu don't feel like chatting RIGHT NOW, they take it as a personal offense
>>40944508
Not OP but this advice is kinda shit. I care for all of them but I do not feel the need to reach out unless I have something to talk about or it has been longer than a month. No one would give an extrovert advice like you need to find a way to appreciate alone time
>>40946025
You must be really young
True friendships can last without texting each other every day