Thread 40959480

TL;DR, what are the signs of someone who has been working on bettering her BPD symptoms?

I'm a bi trans woman (i know), and all my partners in the past have been either extremely distant, extremely EXTREMELY clingy, or in a polycule (and waited to tell me until after we started dating LMAO).

I honestly don't mind a BPD woman, i'm self aware enough to admit i like the attention and feeling like im not going to be left behind (i have some BPD tendencies myself but i'm very actively handling it). I just can't handle the 24/7 communication, the hypersensitivity to totally innocent things, and the lack of personality outside of "PLEASE DOMESTICATE ME I DONT WANNA THINK ANYMORE BARK BARK BARK" which is admittedly very hot as a kink, but good god it is tiring to handle 24/7.

I know im basically asking for tips on unicorn hunting, but i intend to be with this hypothetical person for a long time, so i dont mind the extra effort. If it helps, I fit all of my own criteria, am set up for a good job in the future (like, pay for all my own surgeries and still make it home in time for christmas, good, if i manage to make it into a union), am absolutely willing to put in the effort required to make someone feel comfortable, am a 6.5/10 on a good day, and have pretty much gotten over my major mental issues (brainworms etc) aside from being lonely sometimes.

i have a bit of a more in depth idea of what i would want in a girlfriend, but i don't think it's necesarry to add rn.

>>40959480 (OP)
do you already have a person in mind or are looking for someone?

>>40959518
looking, but honestly as long as she's kinda pathetic, and not bigoted (im white, it's just a turn off imo. sign of immaturity im not looking for in a potential wife), then i don't mind even if she's kind of a hon. I have preferences for personality and opionions and the like, but i like to keep an open mind on those things.

>>40959553
opinions, not opinonions LOL

>>40959559
did u block a fren in the last two months

>>40959669
did not. if that happened to you, i'm sorry it did. I assure you that you'll be much better off looking for new people to think about than worrying about someone who wants to leave your life. been there, it's not worth it. lots of love, anon / nona.

>>40959682
ty anon gl but i am ruined in so many ways

>>40959480 (OP)
Im already that but my communication style is usually very long winded extremely distant and metaphorical when I do talk. Things that should be said in a sentence I always take a paragraph to say, and its been that way since I got my head injury. I dont really know why and how it would increase verbosity but yk...
In any case I have someone Im talking to on a regular basis but if youre looking for someone who will happily send you random shit without you responding Im down. Technically me and this girl are still not steady so.

>>40959702
okay real talk, i've felt like that before and all i can say is fucking real. like, learn coping skills, use them, eat and get fresh air consistently, obviously, but. a lot of the time, "getting better" feels utterly impossible and that's because it's built up in our heads as this all or nothing thing.

incoming rant about how i crawled out of that pit and what helped me, feel free to ignore if you can't deal with that right now.

my advice is this: find things that make you feel even slightly better, and just do them. it doesn't need to be building towards something. just having your day to day life be minimally improved will make it easier to do bigger tasks down the line. big goals can make it feel like a bigger deal than it is. just focus on making yourself feel even slightly better in now-very near future.

i did not go from being hospitalized from drug overdose to working on a degree from "locking in". taking care of yourself is a thousand little tasks that takes a long time to master. good luck anon.

>>40959780
girl fucking real as hell. i got some shit from my bio parents that makes my brain not work right, and i literally cannot be concise unless i force it really hard.

honestly i prefer long winded for a multitude of reasons anyway. do you have disc?

>>40959790
ty anon what are small thing that make u feel better day to day?

>>40959842

little things for me would be like, treating myself well in my own head, finding things i like about my body (like my hair, i love my hair), my cat, wearing comfortable clothes esp ones i feel cute in, and in general

FINDING THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT ON PURPOSE. most of these things will not really make you feel consitently good unless you actively apreciate them. not in a "i could lose this, i need to pay penence so im not punished by fate" type of ""appreciation"" like how is common, but literally just "i love my little joys :3" is so so so effective.

I spent 6 years with a women who has BPD, and is still currently working hard to better herself day by day. It isn't fucking worth it. Don't delude yourself for even a second that you can handle it, or that it would somehow be worth it for the "attention". It's a whole different beast. You will fundamentally not matter when you're with them. AMA idgaf. I'm telling you. Do. Not. Date. Someone. With. BPD.

>>40959814
Tbh Im not very comfy posting my disc. Can I get yours?

>>40960102
bro whoever im dating will be dating someone with BPD tendencies.

you know what matter of fact you're talking mad shit about her, send her my way if you hate her sm goddam

>>40959553
>>40959480 (OP)
You can consider me as an option. I really like my quiet time, but I also crave a lot of touch. I wouldn't say I'm pathologically distant or clingy. I'm also kind of pathetic. I relate to DPD a lot but I would say it's arguable whether I could be diagnosed.

However the dealbreaker potentially is that while I really want to devote myself to a single partner and I don't want to juggle multiple relationships in the polycule way, from past experience I'm not monogamous and it's very possible I'll want sex with friends at some point.

If you find me appealing, you can literally just take me and make it happen btw, and also I would never leave you if you claim ownership over me

>>40960164
for sure yea. im gonna put it under an unsee so its not archived tho

https://unsee cc/album#B6EvTPW985Ha

>>40960235
honestly idk if we'd be compatable. like, the idea of sharing isn't something im necesarrily AGAINST, it's just that i know i would definitely have hangups and complicated feelings.

your personality definitely sounds incredibly cute though, i'd love to be friends!

>>40960285
if you wanted my discord c:

>>40960329
that link doesn't work if I replace the space with a dot?

>>40960385
my apolocheese, this one should work
https://unsee cc/album#VklG7wSS3oys

>>40960385
https://unsee cc/album#e3KqqeUL2xO0
my appolocheese, this should work fine c:

>>40960172
Fine fuck your life up. Just know you were warned.

>>40959780
You genuinely sound like someone I'd get along with. Your posts in other threads seem nice too. Even though I'm not op, any chance you could post contact? I would (given your other posts) but I've been doxxed.

>>40959480 (OP)
I fit all of your criteria except im crazy brainwormed, decently jaded and have abandonment issues (not bpd, its not as bad as bpd)

>>40960235
>that while I really want to devote myself to a single partner
> I'll want sex with friends at some point.
You people are fucking crazy

>>40962169
It's the BPD way. I'm telling you, anyone who thinks they're stronger than the disorder and its like a cute obsession is going to get their heart absolutely fucking mangled by it.

I think it's hilarious that after spending 6 years in a relationship with someone who has BPD and bipolar (both clinically diagnosed, not self diagnosed) this chucklefuck thinks its going to be fun and that somehow they're going to have a better time than I did. It's not fun. It's not cute. It's all consuming. You will not matter. You'll spend 90% of your time keeping them above water and from killing themselves until you fall apart.

And being trans on top of it? Holy shit you're just asking for it. I was lucky enough to be cis during that time. Whenever they split the first thing they're going to do is tell you that you'll never be a real women and start listing all the reasons why.