Thread 40986558

/Big/ - bisexual general: bettering yourself edition
>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
>QotT #2: Do you have any plans/goals for the year??

Previous Thread: >>40849413 (also, congrats, we reached the bump limit!!!)

Tagmap: https://tagmap.io/tag/%2Fbigen%2F

FAQ:
>Am I bi if I like women and femboys/traps?
>Am I bi if there's this one member of the same-sex I'm desiring, but normally I like the opposite sex?
>Am I bi if I sexually like both sexes, but only interested in romance with one of them?
Yes, sexual attraction to both sexes is bisexuality.
>Do you love me, OP?
we can cuddle while watching the rain now that summer is ending
>What's the difference between bisexual and pansexual?
Only difference is that our flag is prettier.
>Am I bi if i have periods where I feel only attracted to women and others where I feel only attracted to men?
This is known as the bi-cycle and many bisexuals experience it.
>Am I bi or am I 'prison gay' or porn addicted?
'Prison gay' is not a real thing and porn addiction does not alter your sexual orientation. You are bi.
>Am I bi or pan if I like trans people?
Both are able to be attracted to trans people.
>I think I might be bi but I can't tell. How can I be certain?
Just make a point to check out members of the sex you think you might be attracted to and see if anyone grabs your attention.
>Should I be harsh on myself?
You should be kind on yourself. Few people will do it for you

Resource for Bisexuals:
https://biresource.org/

>>40986558 (OP)
>>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
Been losing a lot of weight (10 kg) and getting in shape again. I'm not as low body fat as I was a few years ago, but my arms, back and chest are bigger than ever so it's a solid trade-off.
>>QotT #2: Do you have any plans/goals for the year??
I spontaneously got the idea to rent a car and do a road trip across a big chunk of central Europe next year. There's a lot of planning involved, but it's been a while since I've been this excited for a vacation.

>>40986558 (OP)
Don't think I've ever seen a guy wear a jockstrap who is not a fag ngl
Not knocking it, can be hot, but yeah
>>40987036
Nice, what countries are you going to visit anon?

it's amazing to me how I can get prescription adderall and still not feel any desire to do anything beyond staring at my ceiling on the few days of my week where I'm not scheduled for miserable hard labor

does anything I see actually exist? this universe is just an advanced personal torture chanlmber

>>40987036
>not legs
booooooooo

>>40987399
Anon you gotta create schedules for yourself. You have to have accountabibuddies

You can do it!

>>40987639
I was gonna post that one clip of butters in South Park talking about being a total homie at that camp but I figure that might be too sensitive of a topic to post even on 4chan. Yes?

>>40987648
idk what it is but do it

>>40987197
>Nice, what countries are you going to visit anon?
Austria, Liechtenstein, Switzerland, Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, France and Germany is what I'm thinking of at the moment. Maybe more, maybe less - it depends on when I'll be able to schedule time off work and such.

>>40987425
>booooooooo
I do legs also! But I've also always had a thicc ass, so it's not as noticeable lmao

>>40987986
>so it's not as noticeable
ohhhhh, carry on!

do you have soecific activities planned out for any of those places or is the purpose more of a flexible exploration thing?

>>40986558 (OP)
>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
Lots of stuff, but mostly just working out and accepting myself (and my bisexuality) more than I have previously

>QotT #2: Do you have any plans/goals for the year??
I've started 2 business ventures within the last two months and really want them to succeed, but also now working 2 jobs to keep myself afloat financially, while I also an trying to write a book. There's a lot going on

>>40988157
yo keep at it because that life sounds meaningful

>>40988150
>do you have soecific activities planned out for any of those places or is the purpose more of a flexible exploration thing?
I want to go hiking in the alpine countries. I've visited some of them before, but never went hiking there. For the low-land countries I'm thinking city exploration and an amusement park or two.

>>40988222
nice trips for your trip :O
that terrain will be so beautiful to hike through, so it's a very nicely put together plan I think. will you return to gen with pictures of the hiking biomes

>>40986558 (OP)
>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
Healing trauma actively in therapy, finally coming out to everyone, continuing to lose the rest of the weight and lift
Bit of a stumble as the trauma shit bubbled things up and made it way harder suddenly but I'm still making the effort
>QotT #2: Do you have any plans/goals for the year??
Not beyond continuing and sticking to the self-improvement and actualization
I'm in an insanely better place than I was 2 years ago but I'm not all the way there yet

>>40988189
Thank you I will try, though admittedly it is a lot on my plate and I am fully expecting to burn out come Christmas time since both my jobs are retail, but I just need to get the extra income after a few big expenses (moving out and buying a car)
Also one of my business ventures seems to be failing already so will see how much longer I stick with that one before going all in on my web development venture

>>40986558 (OP)
I got that gas in me dawg.
Cutting my social media presence and failing.
Drawing porn and flailing.

>>40988265
>that terrain will be so beautiful to hike through
That's what I'm hoping for. It's great down in the valleys, so up in the mountains will probably be even better. That's how it is in Norway at least, where I've gone hiking before.
>will you return to gen with pictures of the hiking biomes
Absolutely not lmao. I will never post an identifiable pic on this God forsaken website

save us rem lezar

save us from lazaris

>>40987986
i wish i could do a road trip like that

i wanna suffocate in there

why is it that cis women, trans women, and trans men are into me, but not cis men?

>>40991113
you probably look quite masculine, which those first 3 categories are likely attracted to and the last largely isn't
the cis men who are attracted to that are likely gay and probably don't care for your bisexuality even if they think you're hot

>>40991764
want

>>40990436
Don't let your dreams be dreams anon. What's stopping you?

>>40991113
I have the opposite problem. It seems only cis men show interest in me but not enough to actually go anywhere just enough to talk like it's possible.

>>40987399
Gonna be real with you, years of being prescribed Adderall all I got out of it was permanent heartrate increase, loss of appetite, difficulty fapping, and a more focused ability of being unfocused on what I mean to be working on. You cannot control what you're current fixation is.

>>40992928
strange how these things work out

>>40987197
At this stage, it's just gay/bi lads who wear them.
My ex-boyfriend was into them, so used to have a few pairs
>>40994243
Same, I mean I did get a lot of the work done, but it fucked up my head, lost my appetite, was weirdly horny all the time, felt kind of zombified.
>>40991113
So are gay men not into you? I'm not sure if you're m/f so it's difficult to say.

>>40994987
>So are gay men not into you? I'm not sure if you're m/f so it's difficult to say.
i'm a man, and i honestly don't know. i don't go to gay bars or anything but at lgbt events i've been chatted up by everyone except for a cis gay man.

>>40995003
Ah interesting, I would say gay men generally prefer more masculine men, as a general rule, but that's true of most women too I think.
Do you have gay voice?
I've heard a lot of lads who see it as a turn-off, not me personally, but I have heard it come up more than once

>>40995020
no i'm quite masculine and i don't have a gay voice.

>work with a cute older girl, mid 30s, kind of chubby, short and super nerdy
>meet her husband a week or two after she started working here
>goddamn giant that has to duck to walk in and forearms thicker than my calves
>she casually mentioned to someone else its hard to find him clothes because his chest got too wide and they cant find size 15 shoes on regular store shelves
>doesnt talk about their sex life but knew what shibari was
Im jealous of both halves of a married couple and my autistic ass got shot down by both of them when I jokingly asked if they could adopt me

is anybody here FGC

I’m grateful for my autism as it prevents me from ruining my life with sex and/or relationships.

>>40995470
yeah I'm so used to having a terrible life that I don't even feel the need to try to make it better

>>40995511
There is no making it better to be fair. You’d have to be a statistical anomaly.

>>40995470
On the one hand I'm glad that's working out for you, but on the other hand sex/relationships are the best thing ever, even with the heartbreak and what not you are bound to experience

>>40995542
Masturbation provides the exact same brain chemicals. Why do you need to have sex?

>>40995629
NTA but sex is a lot better than jacking it off

>>40995644
Same dopamine release. But it costs you more, comes with a slurry of risks, and is completely inaccessible for a number of people.

>>40995678
Yeah no anon it feels a lot better than masturbation
Difficult to explain if you have never experienced it before

>>40995629
>Masturbation provides the exact same brain chemicals.
Fairly sure that's not true - IIRC sex releases either more of them or in higher amounts. I'm not a biochemist though.
>Why do you need to have sex?
Because it provides a way of physical and emotionally bonding with another person that's unique from anything else. It's hard to fully understand if you haven't had sex before.

>>40995678
I dont think either sex or masturbation would be a big dopamine source, that is more for delayed gratification and complicated abstract projects you create for yourself. although bringing someone else to orgasm can become such a task, that isnt the whole experience. both acts could reduce cortisol a little, but the things people appreciate about sex are related to serotonin and oxytocin. having sex improves your brain's internal assessment of your own social standing and happiness. sex can become meaningless or worse than masturbation under the right conditions but usually it provides a buffet of visual, haptic, and emotional stimulations that masturbation wont. if you have an outrageously powerful imagination you can simulate most experiences you want and get similar results though

>>40986558 (OP)
>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
theres not a whole lot i can do (working a shitty temporary part time job, applying to a bunch of jobs with little to no success, too broke to afford therapy and go back to school) but in the meantime im learning how to stand up for myself and be more assertive as well as being more careful with who to let in my life after my summer humiliationship has ended in flames

>>40997160
>humiliationship
I do empathize with your situation, but this word is hilarious. Thanks

>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT
>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT

A reminder that tomorrow at 21 GMT we will vote for the next two movies for Movie Night! If you want you can also give your recommendation by replying to this post

>what the hell is "movie night"
its a special night where bigen comes together to watch on Discord two movies chosen by the community

>when will movie night take place?
its FRIDAY at 22 gmt

>where do we watch the movies?
on the Bigen Movie and Game Night Discord server:
https://discord.gg/d6y9kN3E

>i don't usually post on bigen/never took part in movie night, can i join?
Of course, movie night is open to anyone, just remember to mute yourself during the movies, be civil and have fun!

fyi: this is the list of every movie we watched so far:
https://pastebin.com/Bc8pqK9h

>>40997450
im glad i was able to make u laugh <3

Lol
Came out to my siblings 3 weeks ago
One of my brothers gave me the standard "everyone's a little bi" line and said he might be a tiny bit too
The other just told me over the phone that he's bi and prefers femininity and femboys are hot
3 bi brothers let's go

>>41000724
I honestly think bi people are like 40-60% of the population. Probably tied with straights.

>>40986558 (OP)
I'm a male. I love the aesthetic of the male body but I don't actually want to fuck men or be fucked by men.
I have intermittent vague romantic attractions to men (I have a natural rapport with courteous, calm men, like Lieutenant Kitsuragi from Disco Elysium), but I don't visualize myself having sex with men like I visualize having sex with women. I do have vague mutual masturbation fantasies, but they don't really materialize into my dreams or the like. I feel uncomfortable when other men flirt with me, but more in an embarrassed way than an angry/disgusted wag.
I don't know how to feel about this. It seems like I'm bisexual in theory, but in practice, it just isn't there. It doesn't help that I hate physical intimacy in general, so I can't tell if I'm just flat-out only sexually attracted to women and am deluding myself, or if I'm sincerely bisexual and have just been repressing it.

>>40986558 (OP)
>What are you doing to better yourself this year?
have been going on a downward spiral for the past couple months with depression so im taking a break from college to work through it. Hopefully it's helping.. idk.. i still would rather kill myself. Other than that I managed to reach a year on hormones recently so yippee. just holding out for more effects.

>>41001683
Tyler is that you?

>>41002106
'Fraid not.

I have scheduled my first-ever date for this Friday

>>41002504
Have fun! If you want some good advice (that you didn't ask for): don't hold any expectations about what's gonna happen during or after the date. Just experience it in the moment.

>>41002840
My only expectation is that we're going to play pool, given that we're going to a pool hall.
I'm definitely not looking to get laid.

>>40986558 (OP)
>>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
Stop thinking about killing myself, and actually get my life together
>>QotT #2: Do you have any plans/goals for the year??
Get my drivers license, and finally manage to be a functioning part of society

>>41002840
You forgot the other one. It's ok for some level of silence and you don't need to fill in the space yapping about noth. Also don't just talk about yourself. I speak from my own fumblings through life.

>>40997160
>humiliationship
Stealing this, also I thought you wanted that to some extent.
Btw what's your opinion on modern pop singers? I can't recognize but like 2 I hear on the radio/people spotify and one is Chappell roan.

>>40986558 (OP)
>qott1
not killing myself and trying to get my partner moved in
>qott2
what I just said

Lost my dog and she was one of the few things tethering me to this earth, without her I've gone from depressed to entirely detached, if I wasn't married I think I'd just liquidate my assets and walk in a direction until I died or ran out.

>>41005816
hope you're ok anon ):

>>41005342
>I thought you wanted that to some extent.
i made up my mind i no longer want flings and one night stands i want a long-term relationship (im taking a break from dating now tho)
>Btw what's your opinion on modern pop singers? I can't recognize but like 2 I hear on the radio/people spotify and one is Chappell roan.
i couldnt give less of a fuck abt them except for charli xcx
sabrina carpenter is cool too ig but i only like her for fashion/hair/makeup inspo

>>40986558 (OP)
>QotT #1: What are you doing to better yourself this year?
Well I've lost about 40lbs since starting my current job. And it’s the first one I've actually enjoyed, so that's a positive development l.

>QotT #2: Do you have any plans/goals for the year??
Kind of in a holding position since I've been managing my dad's declining health for the last two years. Finally had to move him into assisted living since he needs more care than I could provide. Currently working on clearing out all the crap he hoarded over the last several decades since I'm basically just running out the lease on the place we'd been staying at and then downsizing to a much smaller place myself.

>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT
>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT

A reminder that at 21 GMT we will choose the next 2 movies for movie night!
You can give your recommendation now by replying to this post

>what the hell is "movie night"
its a special night where bigen comes together to watch on Discord two movies chosen by the community

>when will movie night take place?
its FRIDAY at 22 gmt

>where do we watch the movies?
on the Bigen Movie and Game Night Discord server:
https://discord.gg/d6y9kN3E

>i don't usually post on bigen/never took part in movie night, can i join?
Of course, movie night is open to anyone, just remember to mute yourself during the movies, be civil and have fun!

fyi: this is the list of every movie we watched so far:
https://pastebin.com/Bc8pqK9h

>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT
>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT

The poll is now open, no further recommendations will be accepted.
The voting will stop tomorrow at around 4 PM GMT, so be sure to vote before then!

Here is the link to the server:
https://discord.gg/d6y9kN3E

I feel like I would be more interested with sex with women if it didnt involve such an inherent level of having to be 'dominant' in some way. Like not all het sex is 'domination/ submission' but the fact remains that the one doing the penetrating is at least taking the role of the more active and caregiving partner, not to mention the inherent size and strength difference between you. When Im with another guy it feels like we are equals in every respect, and that just makes it easier for me to feel like we are having sex as partners rather than as a 'leader' and a 'follower'. Also i cant be submissive with women, theyre just too small.

>>41011037
>i cant be submissive with women, theyre just too small.
That is the best part... It's letting go of control that makes it hot.

>>41011360
i cant get into the mindset of being powerless when my dom is half my size. All submission is roleplay but that just requires more suspension of disbelief than im capable of

>>41009934
me

Imagine bumping a pussy while sucking a cock

>>41013092
ok

I wish there was a boyfriend store where one could acquire boyfriends

Im just a poor boy rem lezar loves me

>>41015058
Isn't that called Tinder?

>>40986558 (OP)
bump

>>41011037
Nah I get this. I mean I'm happy to play along with a sub/dom angle with a girl if that's what she's into, but it's not instinctual. I always feel protective of her and that - no matter what - I will always be physically stronger than her. With men, we're on more equal terms. It feels more primal, and that goes for being in both positions.
I find there's a sort of rush in discovering that another dude can pin you down, overpower you, it instils a sort of obedience. The same is true vice versa. It forces you into a position that you are not used to, and from there, you can cede control.

>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT
>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT

And we have the two winners!:

>8 mile (2002)
>punch drunk love

So see ya later at 22 GMT!

>parents and siblings are out camping, giving me (25 y/o neet) the house to myself for the weekend
>can’t have anyone over for a hookup because I have to look after our dogs + my brother’s dog
My virginity and my celibacy are safe and secure.

Guys i have dates w both a guy and girl this weekend. Guy tonight or Saturday and girl on sunday….

>>41007830
ai slop btw

>>41019137
Nice, have fun!

>try to be a mature adult
>start talking to someone
>am too forward too fast and push them away

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this

Where are all the party sluts, both male and female??! I want to fuck!!!!!!’

>>41020423
Sadly a lot of people are terminally online nowadays. But maybe hit up some bars. If people are drinking a lot and singing karaoke, they probably wanna fuck.

>>41020462
That was what worked for me back when I was in college but hitting up a bar vs a college frat party has a very big difference. Idk I’m just horny and frustrated. I’m down for something long term too I just want sex to be a consistent and integral part of that

>>41020606
If you're a guy into guys, try grindr and doublelist. I know the latter is weird/uncommon but the long paragraph form means you can find other people looking for very similar arrangement. Had my last long-term male FWB from there.

>>41020621
I’d consider it. I HATE dating apps though. Had a few good hook ups through them but the amount of ghosting just broke me. I hate that stuff. Dick hard heart soft and gentle

>>41020659
Doublelist isn't really a regular dating app. It's hard to explain. It's long form, there's no app, it's reminiscent of the older internet, it's far more deliberate.

Anons hitting on anons or Femanons at my gym is like, a really bad idea right? I’m there to get ripped but I’m desperate. Plus everyone there is super hot

>>41021042
Hitting on guys is legit, I've hooked up in the gym shower before. For women, idk lol. Wait to see if she goes out of her way to talk to you first.

>>41021056
>hitting on guys in the shower
My balls are no where near big enough to go up to a dude I barely know and say “nice dick” but that’s both hilarious and kinda hot

>>41021089
Honestly me either lol it's always been initiated by others and I only went through with it once.

>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT
>MOVIE NIGHT
MOVIE NIGHT

Good evening !
Its finally time to start another Movie Night! Tonight selection is:

>8 mile (2002)
>punch drunk love

Here is the link of the stream, don't be shy and come join us! the film will start at 22:10 GMT

>https://discord.gg/d6y9kN3E

>what the hell is "movie night"
its a special night where bigen comes together to watch on Discord two movies chosen by the community

>i don't usually post on bigen/never took part in movie night, can i join?
Of course, movie night is open to anyone, just remember to mute yourself during the movies, be civil and have fun!

fyi: this is the list of every movie we watched so far:
https://pastebin.com/Bc8pqK9h

Sorry if im scaring anons off by being too sexual. I tend to sorta impose myself but I’m sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable

>>41021234
This is ragebait right? Brother this is an anonymous forum for the socially maladjusted

>>41021263
Nope! I’m just a bit fucked up

>>41021302
>Nope! I’m just a bit fucked up
CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIN

>>40986558 (OP)
Night anons

>>41021056
Damn howd that happen, did you meet online or was it a spur of the moment thing? Reminds me of the time there was a hot hung guy at the gym showers with me and he may have caught me glancing in his direction cause when i went to sit on the benches and dry off he chose a spot right next to me and started vigorously drying himself and his horsecock was bobbing and waving around about a foot away from my face. About 90 percent sure that was an invitation but sadly I am too prudent to fall for such temptations

Anyway I got hot and heavy with a hung twink about a week ago so maybe I will get recompense

>>41021234
I dont think you can be too sexual for this gen anon

kaizo mario

Man I want a fantasy dildo so bad but they are all so expensive... Life sux dude wtf

Curious, reading an autobiography about a repressed gay man who was forced into conversion therapy as a kid and I nearly had a panic attack reading about his fond memories of dating women and navigating heterosexuality before his repression broke back out
Maybe I am just gay
Hold on I need to sit with this for a minute

>>41023682
yes

>>41022990
sus

>>40992928
Oooh I have a similar problem. Men LOVE me, but women don’t seem to care all that much. You always want what you don’t have so *shrugs.*

>>41024513
A lot of gay men can date or have sex with women and sex is still sex so it’s good, but otherwise they feel rather neutral about women. But they LOVE men.

>>41024513
Name of the autobiography?

>>41024612
To Be Loved - Frank M. Anderson
>>41024542
I think for me it may be more about how I'm a virgin because of autism and trauma making me hide inside myself
I'm not psyopping myself into straight attractions, that reaction was more about resurfacing dread and despair from earlier years at how I had completely missed out on everything
At least that's what I settled on in the past 20 minutes, we'll see how it plays out

eminem is such a bottom