Thread 40992290

I'm only a tranny because my friends in high school were all women. I would cry when they treated me like a man sometimes, and when their parents wouldn't let me come over for being a suspicious boy. Everyone at school thought I was some kind of weird chad who managed to be drowning in pussy with some emo schtick, but I hated it. I rejected my friends when they would ask me to do sex stuff. Sometimes they did it anyway, and my memory of a lot of that is hazy. One of them asked to be my girlfriend, and all my other friends left. She helped me get on estrogen, and it was our little secret. Then she left too after I said I didn't want to dick her down for her sake anymore. Then she told everyone everything, and they all hated me for being a tranny, and not their submissive sweet little emo boy for whatever gratification they got from that. But that was years ago.
I wish I could've been a woman. Everything could've been so, so different.

I see someone uploaded this to the 4tran subreddit. I will respond to some of you here, I guess.
>Is this not sexual abuse?
I don't think I would call it that. I never told them to stop, I just went along with it if they asked me enough times. I wanted to make to make them happy. I think I enjoyed it sometimes too, which makes me feel gross. I know they all had a nice time messing with me and each other, but I feel disgusting and moidy for even slightly feeling the same during some rare occasions.
>She is a woman, poor thing.
Whatever female parts of me there were, I think are long gone. I don't look like a woman, either. I'm a shut-in now. Most people would probably say I act like a man, or a nerdy boy. The mental gap between me then and me now is minute but massive. It probably doesn't make any sense to describe it like that. But there's pieces of my soul that have broken off. I don't know if how I am today is a facade or true. Or if me back then was me either. Maybe it was all a repper haze. Nothing feels real to me anymore, and I no longer believe in friendship or love.

>>40992853
I don't understand--you wrote the OP but didn't post it, someone else did from a post you wrote previously, and this is you responding live right now?

>>40992290 (OP)
Honestly it sounds like you have zero agency over your own life. Nobody could get me to start hrt. Try to stand behind your own decisions and don't just put the blame on all others

>>40992879
Someone else uploaded this post to reddit, and I am responding here to the replies on the reddit upload of this post.

>>40992896
What do you mean by zero agency? What should I have done that would've improved my life to be better than what it is now?

i would've had pretty much all female friends if it weren't for the fact i was in an all boys school from age 12-19. but im not trans just repping. i was recently in a psych ward that specializes in eating disorders and i was the only male on the ward but i got on with them all fairly well and found it so much easier to talk to them than i did any of my classmates for all those years.
idk if they thought i was gay or what but i doubt that because i don't really present that way.

>>40992290 (OP)
Damn who drew this it’s beautiful

>>40993265
At the very least, please start estrogen. You'll feel better.
My friends couldn't really get a read on me either, I think. I wasn't gay, I wasn't straight, maybe bi, but I wasn't fully one of the girls, because I was a boy. They liked saying I was one of them, but there were little things they did here and there that made it clear that I wasn't. It was nice hanging out with mentally ill girls when they weren't being weird about me. But it was also kind of horrible when they were being weird about me. When it comes to normal women, I don't know. They never talked to me much. I wouldn't say boys are hard to talk to, but there was always a wall and mask I had to put up a lot of the time.
>>40993306
I wish I knew, sorry.

>>40993399
>At the very least, please start estrogen. You'll feel better.
i feel fine as i am and i really don't think transitioning will be beneficial to me at all. i haven't been diagnosed with any gender identity disorders either. for me its just agp.

Another reddit reply.
>Anon's mistake was trusting cis women
The real mistake is trusting anyone. Whether it's men, women, cis, trans. They've all betrayed and shunned me. They all know they can get away with it, because no one likes sad and quiet trannies, and they never fight back, just walk away. Because they know fighting back won't ever bring them any good.
>>40993478
As long as you're certain, then.

>>40992290 (OP)
I'm sorry. Sadly you really can't expect women to be supportive. Any woman I've outed myself to has abused me.

i felt bad reading this because i did the same thing but i wasnt some alt emo chad everyone wanted to fuck i was an ugly retarded boy who everyone probably thought was creepy

>>40993699
>i wasnt some alt emo chad everyone wanted to fuck i was an ugly retarded boy who everyone probably thought was creepy
I never saw an attractive person in myself either. I don't know what those women saw in me. Most people thought I looked like a school shooter.

>>40992290 (OP)
youre a tranny cause you have gender dysphoria and youre afraid to confront that fact

>>40993531
>As long as you're certain, then.

>>40996728
I'm not denying it.