Thread 41029184

Reading about how actual trans people experience gender dysphoria always reminds me that I'm just a self hating cis man.
Living as a man is completely doable to me. If I were to transition, I would be a genuine wolf in sheep's clothing.
My "dysphoria" is all fake and play pretend. An obsession. Seeing women is immediately reminds me of all the ways I'll never be like them. I don't think like a woman, don't feel like a woman, don't act like a woman, don't sound like a woman, don't look like a woman. And I'm wholly indifferent to it all.
My dislike of being a man is just me being superficial and vapid. Instead of focusing on being a normal person with a normal life, friends and hobbies, I'm wasting my time obsessing over how iwnbaw.
There is nothing more pathetic than me using being trans as a scapegoat for all of my issues

so true, i love being faketrans

Why are you on the tranny board then, if you are just a cis man?

>>41029568
only place where this is even tangentially relevant

>>41029184 (OP)
if you are indifferent you wouldn't even be posting about it, you'd just acknowledge it and move on. Seriously, you would maybe even laugh at it looking back. But it sounds like you're steeping in turmoil which is different. Cis men definitely post about their vapid obsession with not being a woman

>>41029184 (OP)
I agree

>>41029184 (OP)
Same
I took hrt
I tried becoming
There is no becoming
Only is
At least hrt will stop me from Growing into an old man
I don’t think I could do that
But I’m 100% fake trans with no dysphoria

>>41031084
>Cis men definitely post about their vapid obsession with not being a woman
This is just true though, at least in my case. It's all a vapid obsession. No actual substance or meaning to these feelings

>>41031091
I think there is more of us faketrans than real trans

>>41031143
i mean that's a take and it's yours

>>41032077
I wish it were different to be honest

>>41029184 (OP)
hrt didnt make me a real person but at least it keeps the body horror at bay

im autistic, on ssris, cis bisexual guy. i had one guy call me “inside out tr*ny”

>>41032120
There is only horror, no body, no self

>>41029184 (OP)
real
can’t even make friends with trannies bc it would be immediately obvious that I’m just a weirdo dude

>>41029184 (OP)
Yeah, having that kind of dysphoria is faketrans-only, and I'd know because I'm one
It's a dysphoria about not having dysphoria
Dysphoria about not being trans rather than the dysphoria about not being a woman that more genuine tranners have (though the most natural and valid tranners don't even experience much dysphoria at all)
If you're like me, you want someone to reassure you that your desire to destroy your old self by sublimating it into a new trans persona is enough for you to be valid, but it just ain't the case I fear
Idek if I should continue HRT myself, I'm just struggling along

>>41029184 (OP)
>fake
>dislike
>wasting my time
>indifferent
>pathetic
>issues
Depression
>Seeing women is immediately reminds me of all the ways I'll never be like them.
>My dislike of being a man
Dysphoria

>>41033050
They feel the same though

>>41029184 (OP)
I literally trooned because the only way I could enjoy anything sexual was imagining myself as a passing trans woman. No regret.

>>41029184 (OP)
Get out of this website and talk to a licensed psychologist. The more you talk here the more people will push you in either direction without knowing anything about you.

>>41032888
Ngl, you sound in denial of being trutrans to me.
You know the whole "dysphoria about not being trans" is the way you cope with, unfortunately, not being able to be a cis woman.

>>41033133
Won't a licensed psychologist do the same? They'll tell me I'm not a tranny if they're transphobic, and the opposite if they're accepting

I feel the same way. Want to vent? I can tell you on my Discord app.

>>41033189
I'd love to, but I'll be going to sleep shortly

Okay. Add me there then, don't forget me, please, I really want to talk to you. My discord is Samara82.

>>41033158
I don't wanna be cis
I think the idea of penetrating cissies' vaginas with my gock is sexually arousing
I'm a man @ heart & in soul

>>41033289
enby or agamp

>>41033133
>just talk to a psychologist
shut up retard, therapy is fake and costs $1000 a minute. not only are you a retard but youre also out of touch

>>41032443
Can't make friends with trannie cause too cis
Can't make friends with cissies cause too trans

>>41036136
yeah

I'm the truest trans. Every other troon is just a bad satire of me.

>>41036253
I want to give you a cookie. You deserve it for being the truest trutrans

>>41036341
you can keep it fattie

>>41029184 (OP)
>Reading about how actual trans people experience gender dysphoria always reminds me that I'm just a self hating cis man.
Okay? And? How does this change anything
>Living as a man is completely doable to me. If I were to transition, I would be a genuine wolf in sheep's clothing.
It's doable, but misandry sucks, and it doesn't feel like you get to be fully human in society. You feel like a predator and a monster because of how you were raised to think.
>My "dysphoria" is all fake and play pretend. An obsession
Yeah, but keep playing pretend to make womeb see you as a person
>Seeing women is immediately reminds me of all the ways I'll never be like them.
Yes, but the envy-pill this is the next best thing.
>I don't think like a woman, don't feel like a woman, don't act like a woman, don't sound like a woman, don't look like a woman. And I'm wholly indifferent to it all.
"Never for me to plunge my hands in cool water on a hot day. Never for me to play Mozart on the ivory keys of a fortepiano. Never for me to make love! "
>My dislike of being a man is just me being superficial and vapid.
This is what feminism combined with an already woman worshipping society has made you to think of yourself. The misandry they cause is somehow flipped on its head to mysogyny, and you're the vapid one for feeling anything yet again.
>Instead of focusing on being a normal person with a normal life, friends and hobbies, I'm wasting my time obsessing over how iwnbaw.
Yes. "You will never be a human." But I wouldn't drop your human feelings.
>There is nothing more pathetic than me using being trans as a scapegoat for all of my issues
Being trans is one of the few ways out there to rationalize your misandry as a personal problem. The moment you actually stop being trans, the guilt and shame of feeling envy for women will return. Right now, you can just say that other men are different from you and don't want any of the things women do or look up upon women in the slightest.

>>41029184 (OP)
Nona, your pain is real and valid. You dobt deserve to suffer, and there is no "right" way to experience despair. Please try to take care of yourself, okay?

>>41036474
Holy, go back to /r9k/. Misandry is not a problem I've ever encountered. If anything living as a man only gave me advantages. Advantages and privileges which never felt deserved.
My hatred of being a man is wholly internal, and not because of how I'm treated by society. The same goes for my envy of women. They have it way worse, so there's no rational and external reasons for me to envy them

>>41036848
>Holy, go back to /r9k/. Misandry is not a problem I've ever encountered.
Yet you aren't a woman and want to be one and see it as a solution to your problems.
>If anything living as a man only gave me advantages.
Yet you envy the personhood of being a woman. This is all just part of the trans woman mask you've constructructed. I'm not stupid. You can't just, like, put it back on now that you've taken it off.

These beliefs are a part of the facade.
>Advantages and privileges which never felt deserved.
Ah, so you're the predatory monster again. You're the abuser for having all these "advantages" that you didn't even want. You have these godly man powers of destruction, like AM, but you can't feel any of it, can you?
>My hatred of being a man is wholly internal, and not because of how I'm treated by society.
Lol. I feel like I'm talking to the tranny version of Jax rn ngl. Ah, yes. You're the only one who suffers like this, and your feelings are somehow at the same time not real either. Everyone else are just archetypes of people. They're cartoon characters, built specifically to fit within your worldview. Just like you and your suffering ultimately is fake. Just vapid detestible ultimately "manly" parts of who you are

>The same goes for my envy of women
Well, I mean. That's the cope. Try stopping being a trans woman and get to know other men personally and see how long your impression of uniqueness lasts. Men wear a lot of masks to cope with misandry. You're not different. We're stuck in this circus together
>They have it way worse, so there's no rational and external reasons for me to envy them
Yup, and if it's internal, then you must actually just BE a woman and other men just love the situation they are in. Why else would you be freaky enough to want to lose your "power." Being a woman and having a body that's allowed to feel things and have senses and sexuality and value without needing to vicariously steal it from others would just so awful, huh?

>>41037152
retard alert

>>41029184 (OP)
im literally such a vile autogynophile, im stealing rwsources from real trannies

>>41031091
>>41032120
How’s your libido compared to before HRT? Do you still jerk off and can you get hard?

>>41037240
I can
Eh I can force it to get hard or if I’m with someone

>>41037194
>retard alert

>>41037152
>Yet you aren't a woman and want to be one and see it as a solution to your problems.
I don't see it as a solution to my problems, but rather as the source. I've no reason to want to be a woman, nor do I feel like it would meaningfully change something, but my mind can't let go of it in the slightest.
>This is all just part of the trans woman mask you've constructructed. I'm not stupid. You can't just, like, put it back on now that you've taken it off.
Are you telling me that being a trans woman is a superficial mask I've constructed to cope with being a man, or that being a man was the mask all along? I genuinely don't understand what you're trying to tell me here.
>You're the abuser for having all these "advantages" that you didn't even want. You have these godly man powers of destruction, like AM, but you can't feel any of it, can you?
I guess I do, but I'm not using them in any way. That would feel genuinely wrong to me. I hate it more when people imply these "advantages" define me, but that's only ever the case when those people don't know me personally.
>I feel like I'm talking to the tranny version of Jax rn ngl
I don't really feel like I'm a tranny. There is plenty that would disprove that being the case, but I guess I do hate being a man just as a tranny would.
>You're the only one who suffers like this, and your feelings are somehow at the same time not real either. Everyone else are just archetypes of people. They're cartoon characters, built specifically to fit within your worldview.
This would be really arrogant of me, wouldn't it? I guess the Jax comparison makes sense if this is the impression I give you.
I've never claimed my suffering is wholly unique, only that my suffering is not akin of that of a trutrans person.

>>41037152
>Try stopping being a trans woman and get to know other men personally and see how long your impression of uniqueness lasts. Men wear a lot of masks to cope with misandry
I've been part of many typical male friendgroups. Although I was able to assimilate well into them, at least superficially, internally I felt completely estranged. I'm quite confident in saying that I don't think nor feel like most other men.
I've also never seen any men cope with misandry, only ever with the toxic expectations forced upon them by other men and never women.
>Yup, and if it's internal, then you must actually just BE a woman and other men just love the situation they are in. Why else would you be freaky enough to want to lose your "power." Being a woman and having a body that's allowed to feel things and have senses and sexuality and value without needing to vicariously steal it from others would just so awful, huh?
I'm again so confused as to whether you're calling me a tranny, or telling me that me thinking about all of this trans stuff is actually just a cope because you think that the social role of being a man is just too oppressive and restrictive (it isn't)

>>41038244
>don't see it as a solution to my problems, but rather as the source.
I know. Being a woman would fix it, I mean.
>Are you telling me that being a trans woman is a superficial mask I've constructed to cope with being a man,
Yes. This.
>guess I do, but I'm not using them in any way. That would feel genuinely wrong to me. I hate it more when people imply these "advantages" define me
I feel the same way. It's a problem because when I'm alone I still treat myself like how others do me. I sometimes want to troon myself just to see.
>don't really feel like I'm a tranny.
Well yeah, but Jax doesn't really feel like Jax either. You are a tranny in practice since you do the hrt and stuff.
>This would be really arrogant of me, wouldn't it? I guess the Jax comparison makes sense if this is the impression I give you.
It does. But arrogance isn't exactly it. You're a survivor. The mask comes from a place of being dehumanized.
>I've never claimed my suffering is wholly unique, only that my suffering is not akin of that of a trutrans person so hard.
I presumed the opposite by you saying that being a man is desirable.
>>41038286
>I've been part of many typical male friendgroups. Although I was able to assimilate well into them, at least superficially, internally I felt completely estranged.
Likewise. Me too.
>I'm quite confident in saying that I don't think nor feel like most other men.
Then you aren't discerning enough. Men often wear other masks, like the mysogyny one. People lie underneath, not genders.
>I've also never seen any men cope with misandry, only ever with the toxic expectations forced upon them by other men and never women.
Mysogyny is a much more common(and socially intigrated) mask than trooning.
>last point
You're a tranny as much as Jax is a cartoon character funny guy(he kinda is sometimes) And the social identity, not necessarily the role, of being a man is just too oppressive and restrictive. You don't want to be a man, after all.

>>41038286
> toxic expectations forced upon them by other men and never women.
You don't mean that. You're romanticizing women and putting them on a pedistal above seeing and actively participating in gender and its reinforcment. Women are not angels. They are people, just as mundane and corrupt as you or me. One need not look much farther past Jax's fanbase to see what I mean.

You want to use being a woman in order to distance yourself from the feeling of being monstrous and uncute that comes with being a man.

>I've been part of many typical male friendgroups. Although I was able to assimilate well into them, at least superficially,
Male friendships are extremely superficial unless you force them not to be.
>all of this trans stuff is actually just a cope because you think that the social role of being a man is just too oppressive and restrictive (it isn't)
It is a cope. And it is too oppressive and restrictive. At least for anyone unwilling to be a monster to other people. Being a living weapon with moral sympathies sucks. Hence:
>I guess I do, but I'm not using them in any way. That would feel genuinely wrong to me.
and
>I hate it more when people imply these "advantages" define me,

>but that's only ever the case when those people don't know me personally
Is a cope because you still have your superego and how you imagine other people look at you working against you. It has invaded your personal life enough for you to troon out. You don't want to be a man. You, I'd imagine, think about yourself a little like Jerry Smith from Rick and Morty when you get to know other people. He's one of the few actually decent people on the show, yet it hurts watching him. Jerry is viscerally disgusting and is seen as like a burdon on Beth and his entire family for some "unnamable" reason(misandry).

If Jerry had changed genders, the internet would have lost it and people would lust after her like crazy and his "flaws" and discomfort would be cute.

>>41039084
>Yes. This.
How would that help me cope with being a man to begin with? Living as a trans woman is worse in any measurable way compared to living as a cis man.
The only issue on my end is that I literally see no point in living life as a man. It's fundamentally unfulfilling and hollow to me.
>I sometimes want to troon myself just to see
Oh, so you're a repper. No wonder your replies sound pretty schizo.
>You are a tranny in practice since you do the hrt and stuff.
I've actually not mentioned I ever did anything transition related in this thread, but your right that I do take hrt. Took some in the past, freaked out, stopped, and now I did my 5th injection again today
>You're a survivor. The mask comes from a place of being dehumanized.
I was never dehumanized by anyone else. I have never been human towards myself.
>I presumed the opposite by you saying that being a man is desirable.
I've never said that being a man is desirable. Quite the opposite in fact. I can't help myself but hate it
>Then you aren't discerning enough. Men often wear other masks, like the mysogyny one. People lie underneath, not genders
I fully agree here, but that wasn't the point I was getting at. I feel like what lies underneath all the masks men wear is fundamentally different than lies under the masks I wear.
>Mysogyny is a much more common(and socially intigrated) mask than trooning
Having seen plenty of misogynistic men, I've not yet encountered men irl that use this mask to cope with their hatred of being men. I definitely was one when I was a teen though, but I've grown from it luckily.
>And the social identity, not necessarily the role, of being a man is just too oppressive and restrictive.
This is the exact I was trying to make in my previous replies. There is nothing oppressive and restrictive about being a man. Quite the opposite in fact.
The oppression and restrictiveness I feel when by being a man is not because of any external causes, but intrinsic to my sense of self

>>41039335
>You don't mean that. You're romanticizing women and putting them on a pedistal above seeing and actively participating in gender and its reinforcment. Women are not angels. They are people, just as mundane and corrupt as you or me
I'm not romanticizing women. I'm fully aware of mundane and corrupt and fully embrace them. If anything, the mundane and corrupt is more interesting than any romanticized version of womanhood could ever be.
>You want to use being a woman in order to distance yourself from the feeling of being monstrous and uncute that comes with being a man
At this point I don't even know why I would want it. I guess that's part of it maybe
>Male friendships are extremely superficial unless you force them not to be
I've found this goes for all friendships, but not in the same manner
>It is a cope. And it is too oppressive and restrictive. At least for anyone unwilling to be a monster to other people. Being a living weapon with moral sympathies sucks
I don't see being a man as being fundamentally a monster. It's just that I personally feel like one, and being a man plays a part in it
>You, I'd imagine, think about yourself a little like Jerry Smith from Rick and Morty when you get to know other people. He's one of the few actually decent people on the show, yet it hurts watching him. Jerry is viscerally disgusting and is seen as like a burdon on Beth and his entire family for some "unnamable" reason(misandry).
>If Jerry had changed genders, the internet would have lost it and people would lust after her like crazy and his "flaws" and discomfort would be cute.
I don't even know what to say to this. That's an insane way to visualize this, and also completely inaccurate

>>41037240
>How’s your libido
nonexistent.

>>41040427
>How would that help me cope with being a man to begin with? Living as a trans woman is worse in any measurable way compared to living as a cis man.
>It's fundamentally unfulfilling and hollow
You keep answering your own questions. That feeling is not unique.
>Oh, so you're a repper. No wonder your replies sound pretty schizo.
I'm not a repper. I'd be a man internally living as a woman externally. I would never think myself I was a woman, but I would do all the tranny things, like hrt and learning assembly. I don't feel dysphoric, so I'm not going to do that.
>I do take hrt.
I thought I read you did but I guess not.
>I was never dehumanized by anyone else. I have never been human towards myself.
Same for me. I can't pin it on any individual. But generally, it still gets to you: from the media, from our language, from understanding your place in the world.
>I've never said that being a man is desirable. Quite the opposite in fact. I can't help myself but hate it
I meant desirable for the majority of people, like gold or silver.
>I feel like what lies underneath all the masks men wear is fundamentally different than lies under the masks I wear.
Well, everyone is going to be different.
>Having seen plenty of misogynistic men, I've not yet encountered men irl that use this mask to cope with their hatred of being men.
I haven't met one who hasn't. Dehumanizing women is almost always a sheild for feelings of having harmed them, even though you never did anything wrong. If women's feelings don't matter, then you can be fine with feeling like a threat.
>The oppression and restrictiveness I feel when by being a man is not because of any external causes, but intrinsic to my sense of self
You keep saying that, but being a man IS the oppression and restriction done onto you externally. Men are always "oppressed" indirectly. It's not that you don't have freedom. You're a weapon. "Your" value starts low naturally and depends on what you dominate and threaten

>>41041507
>I'm not romanticizing women
Then how do you figure they magically never contribute to toxic gender norms men face? Why are women somehow excluded from the problem when they will run through 5 walls and a kitchen sink to defend characters like Jax and say that "no actually, the other characters are the problem and he's the victim". (I have some unique ideas about Jax and I think there is a hidden virtue he has nobody seems to acknowledge, but nobody is saying what I think or anything coherent, not that it matters for our conversation. I might make a video in the future if it pisses me off enough.)
>I don't see being a man as being fundamentally a monster. It's just that I personally feel like one, and being a man plays a part in it
That's the dang mask again. These emotions are not unique to you. I know it feels more trans to talk about mysogyny and frame men as how they are depicted by internally mysogynistic feminists who gank the patriarchy in order to be the solution to the problem they help maintain. The truth is that you, me, and everyone except for maybe gay tops see men as monstrous, dangerous, and threatening, and that's not a positive thing when our world is at peace and people are civil. Some would go so far as the argue it's built into our genetic hardware to see men that way and women as wonderful.
>don't even know what to say to this. That's an insane way to visualize this, and also completely inaccurate
It's not inaccurate. If Jerry was physically cute and we had a rule 63 episode, people would go nuts and call "Jerry" mommy and shit online. If you actually just sit down watching Rick and Morty and unsex Jerry, just look at his actions and words, it's actually very wholesome and cute and admirable. The issue is he's a man saying and doing this stuff, so it seems pathetic how he's always so anxious about everything.

>>41041507
If our conversation is getting a little too much at this point since I know I'm a chud if he accepted his repressed 'homosexuality"("feminimity"(really just humanity)) more directly, I mostly just wanted to let you know that you're not superficial for not wanting to be a man while also not being trans. You're being cruel to yourself because of the defense mechinisms you've built in order to cope with the many absurdities and dehumanizing parts of being a man that we're constantly told don't exist, and that we're hateful for noticing them, despite experiencing them first hand.

Take circumcision, for example. You don't have to. This conversation can be over if you really want. My doc botched mine and left me with extra foreskin so my brain can actively tell something is missing that I can't quite touch fully. Tell me, who's being the Jerry in this gif? Who's gross and pathetic and taking a "non-issue" and making it one?

>>41029568
not op but in my case i boiled it down to a severe case of raging agp

>>41043135
how come there are so many dudes around

>>41029184 (OP)
my only issue is not looking like a woman and the insanity that comes from that

>>41043210
They see him as an easy target. He offends both the mysogynistic right (coping toxically with misandry) and the virtue signaling left who rarely get ideological permission to bully and be "masculine" so love any opportunity to do so. Everyone wants to fuck with the circumcision guy.

Gals don't really enforce male roles that way. They feel more threatened by the blood dick guy than see him as an easy target for bullying and comfort. They will not approch.
Women have their own set of problems and shit they make masks for I'm less privy to. It's harder for me to predict their behavior.
>>41043193

>>41043572
schizo