>>41108331
i dont mind a lil suki suki. but it cant be a focus.
it pulls me out of my feminine nature/role and i need that to be enhanced to have a good time. otherwise its a mid or bad experience for me.
in the bedroom. and its an uneasy feel cause i dont perform that way. or wired that way.
i feel like i become fully alive when im in the feminine role during some hot sex. like i feel self actualization and im doing what im supposed to.
and only being in that feminine role can light me up and make me feel that way.
even though im just getting plapped, when its done right, it makes me feel alive.
it doesnt happen every time, theres only a handful of guys that can light me up. but i do appreciate it when it happens. cause i feel like my life finally makes sense in some way.
and i dont have to keep my guard up, cause my guys doing that for me, and i can finally go into my role and purpose.. and that's huge for me.
i say it all the time.. if you can help me feel safe and protect me. i appreciate that. and thats a baseline to it. and then i can do feminine things and live how i'm made and built to.
i feel like i still have to be a boy and a girl to take care of myself when im alone.i have to do both. i have to be the dude, and i have to the be girl
i feel like im dating myself most the time just with how i take care of myself and navigate. i have my boy side thats wild and reckless, and i have my girl side that trys to keep that 1 safe.
and the boy side guards my girl side from the outside world. its a weird internal thing. not like a split personality...or a tulpa, but more just like my masculine and feminine energy..
and my masculine side likes to be wild, and my girl side trys to take care of that and keep me safe. and my masculine side also protects my feminine side.
so i appreciate when a man can take care of me, and i can drop my masculine side entirely and it can rest, and i can fully actualize my feminine side. and be that.
