Thread 41272648

Ayy lmao edition
>QOTT: Do you believe in aliens?

Previous thread: >>41244359

>>41272648 (OP)
My family and I saw an alien once

>>41272648 (OP)
in a theoretical sense that I'm sure they exist somewhere in the universe, but I don't believe any have been anywhere near us

they exist but idk if they are here yet or if the government uses disclosure of UAPs to distract us.
take your meds alice

I think I probably would've trooned if every tranny wasn't part of some morally repugnant perverted sub-culture.

>>41272697
>take your meds alice
make me

>>41272697
never. the ayys have shown themselves to me during sleep paralysis and instructed me to prepare the world for their arrival. their will be done

>>41272708
im sure you'd love that faggot. but the god's honest truth is no one is going to make you. you need to make that choice yourself and you need to want better for yourself. i just hope you are strong enough to do that.

none of you will ever look or be female, and that doesn't matter because females are worthless to society

>>41272764
:(

>>41272702
This except id be lying if some part of me didn't want to live that hedonistic life

>>41272788
its ok starting hrt isn't too bad and probably not as bad as you've built it up to be in your head

>>41272801
I'm a germophobe, the idea of the hedonistic lifestyle is intensely disgusting to me.

>>41272648 (OP)
sat next to a guy on a plane who told me he saw them in the navy so yes
he also told me I should start smoking cigs to clear the spike proteins in my system to get vaccinated
the things you learn

so i'm just gonna be upset that iwnbaw every day?

>>41273104
cigs taste like dragons ass, better you put on frocks and suck on different kind of fags. its mix of big tobacco shilling and crackpottery like Laura Knight-Jadczyk that promotes smoking as good. smoke itself is not that bad as we humans had long long time exposure to smije frim fires warming up huts and lijes but nicotine itself is cancerogenic, immunosuppressive, atherogenic and vasoconstrictive.

>>41273268
Yes.

>>41272648 (OP)
can only get off to tranny thoughts where i get fucked by a man. no interest in women. every girlfiend i had i lost interest in because AGP would always come back. literally wish i woke up as a bimbo tranny whore every day.

can anyone help me? how can i rep?

>>41273429
why not just get fucked by a man as is?

>>41273382
this sucks
life is not fair

>>41273445
I just feel ugly as a man. I feel fake. It's not enjoyable to me that way because I'll feel like that.

Gonna drink a monster then masturbate to twinks then read some poetry (Rilke probs). life is GOOD and has everything in it already and I will never, never, never, never, NEVER transition as long as I live :)

>>41272648 (OP)
>Do you believe in aliens?
Yes but I don't like Sci fi that includes Aliens. We have no basis for them so its just humans or bugs.

I wish I was a hung transbian

>>41273429
This sounds more like porn rot than trans thoughts, anon.

>>41274524
haven't watched it in months and honestly never watched it that much before. it never held a candle to my imagination when i'm by myself. i've already gone out as a girl and hooked up with guys before.

>>41272670
that was me
i came in peace

Having one of those moments where I think I've finally snapped out of it and escaped the tranny curse. Hopefully it lasts longer than a few hours this time.

bf broke up with me and the tranny thoughts are back

i think the anti androgens are finally kicking in and now i look like a weird gay woman with a man jaw holy fuck hrt repping is cringe bros

>>41274758
oh nooo I look like a woman

>>41274909
i mean ok more like an uncanny looking man with boobs. the feminine facial fat is welcome though

>>41275095
I'm tempted to hrt repper again because I turn into a zero bucal fat ghoul off hrt and it exaggerates my neanderthal brows :(

any tips for finding purpose? i don't have a reason to keep living, but i'm too scared to kill myself.

>>41272686
hrt literally doesn t do anything besides gyno, stop encouraging people to take it like is a magic fix, is cringe

>>41276056
i actually freaked out a little when i started doing actual research on the average results of hrt (not the 1% that gets miraculous results). people on hrt for 2-3 years with ugly conetits as their greatest achievement are always so depressing to see.
my world feels more constrictive every day. there's no escape. no point. my cowardice and occasional religious delusions are the only thing keeping me afloat.

im on hrt and i have some supportive trans friends but i want to get rid of it all and kill myself still no matter what i do im a curse and a poison on this world and i deserve to die

bit dramatic dont you think?

>>41272648 (OP)
gays like anal probes? color me shocked

>>41275463
yeah same, if i was just normal and had an attractive face i wouldnt need to castrate myself to look human

>>41276351
its not just boobs, hair thins out, you smell better, your skin gets paler and softer, you do get some fat redistribution.

like yes it sucks and i dont pass and i have boobs i have to hide but like what am i gonna do keep aging as a man? keep denying life to myself? fuck off. running this shit into the ground

How do you deal with this mental illness

>>41277129
Avoiding people and mirrors, keeping myself distracted with escapism, and plenty of booze.

>>41276911
>hair thins out, you smell better, your skin gets paler and softer, you do get some fat redistribution
and with all of this, the vast majority of trannies are still clocky as fuck. it doesn't matter if you have softer skin and maybe better hair if your skeleton is built like the colossal titan, technology is just not there yet. you either start before/during puberty or it's completely over.
i'm 6'0" tall, anon. no matter how much i look like a woman, my height and skeleton will snitch on me. there is nothing sadder than trying to change nature and failing.
and even if i passed, i'd still be an "other". even if i magically managed to go stealth and nobody else knew, i would. i'd know until my death i'm a fake.

>like yes it sucks and i dont pass and i have boobs i have to hide but like what am i gonna do keep aging as a man? keep denying life to myself?
this is the difference between us. you're okay being clocky and getting meh results. i can't afford that. i can't accept trying to transition when it's clearly not meant for me. i'm too tall, i'm too old, i'm too weird for it to ever work out.
not everyone lives in portland or something. i need to choose between being a man or trooning and stealthing, there is no other option where i'm anything else and able to live a somewhat respectable life.

>inb4 just manmode forever
that just feels like delaying the inevitable. it's over. transitioning is a means to an end, you troon so you can pass and become a woman, at least as far as most of society is concerned. manmoding forever is like a caterpillar staying inside the cocoon forever.
if you can't pass, hrt is pointless.

dht blockers are fine, anti androgens and estrogen are stupid. Just accept you're a hon freak at that point

>>41277451
You are a dumb nigger, plenty of trannies started after puberty and they look fine. I started at 20 and i have a straight bf

>>41277586
This threads is full of 30+ year old reppers, anon.

>>41277586
glad it worked out for you, anon, but i hope you have the common sense to understand just because something worked for you doesn't mean it will to others.
i was being a bit dramatic with the whole "after your mid teens it's over" thing, but i think that's a good average. some have strong and quick growth spurts early on, while others grow very slowly. i'm the former. even if i trooned at 16, it would still be kind of rough to pass, because my puberty was pretty much done by then. i have massive stretch marks on my back and thighs even though i've always been skinny as hell, because i just grew up extremely fast.
anyways, some people develop fast, while others take their time. if you're part of the latter group, you can definitely transition later on in life and actually pass, but that doesn't mean it's normal or that everyone else can.

>>41277639
on an unrelated note, am i the only one noticing actual trannies showing up more and more often as of late? i don't remember this general having so many of them.

>>41277750
>more trannies
I dont think its a cultural thing or a cult. I think k that people are just physically and mentally unhealthy compared to the past. Poison food/late births

>>41277955
psyop bot detected

>>41277988
What makes you say that

>>41277955
just physically and mentally healthy for (you)
>>41278050

>>41278166
*unhealthy

>>41277586
I started at 16 and I just got gyno

>>41272648 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>41277451
im 6'1 and i dont think twice about it, so ill be tall and androgynous so what, the hottest girls i know are all 6 feet tall

>>41278278
Okay, just take me into your home, wash me, feed me, fuck me, give me a job at least as a housekeeper or something like that. But you won't be able to do that because I'm in a place where the sun doesn't shine.

>>41278241
Damn I had gyno at 16 for free

>>41278741
giwtwm

>>41278278
>above average male waist, hip, and chest size
>massive fuckass adams apple
>not a 5'5 asian
i'd rather die than end up being a gorillahon, nty

Just jerked off after roleplaying with an ai for two hours pretending i was a male spy disguised as a maid who falls in love with the guy he was meant to spy on
Tomorrow I'm going to go back to pretending I'm completely straight and normal

>>41280000
based and checked

>>41280000
You have to be stupid to goon with a chatbot

>>41280162
Yes call me a stupid vapid whore....

i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
IW ANT TO DIE
I WANT TO DIE
I WANT TO DIE

>>41280316
ive cursed your next life to be another repper

>>41280343
fuck you

Damn I actually want boobs but im too much of a pussy to embrace that

i would honestly be ok being a man if i could look like a twink forever
but nooo i gotta go bald and become bulky. evolution sucks.

>>41280383
I regret ever taking hrt because mine are gross; too far apart, droopy and asymmetric
It'd be one thing for guaranteed perfect breasts you hide in public but you'll probably get cone tits or something

>>41280512
how long were you on hrt for?

Am I a meta attracted man or am I a meta attracted tranny? That is the question.

>>41276019
Why you even need purpose?

What even am i if I've always had fantasies about being a woman since i was very young but I'm also perfectly content with being a man?

i dont mind having small boobs but when i see myself naked i realise how fucked it is, they are actual boobs. on an emaciated twink body. its fucked up i dont think ill ever have sex again

post repfuel trvkes, i need em

jumpscared by gym shirt boysmell after stopping estrogen now I want to fuck myself

beloved babydollanons be kind to yourselves

>>41282388
I look at post FFS results, and how most still don't pass. Really unless someone starts before or during puberty or is a massive luckshit, they'll always look visibly trans regardless of how many surgeries.

killing yourself when you know its the solution to an unfixable problem takes actual courage
living and coping and suffering is for pussies

Too much of a coward to do it. Such is life.

>>41283442
i've just been making gradually more concrete plans whenever I have a rlly bad day
just need to figure out a good way to get an antiemetic and then should be able to head on out. figure next feb/mar is gonna be it for me

told my therapist I'm a repping tranno.
He was really supportive and told me about how he had another client who was trans and family who is trans and referred to them as she and her the entire time.

I know I'm presenting as a guy but for some reason every time he calls me a dude and guy it hurts more than it usually does since he knows and wants me to transition.
Just reinforces how I come off.

Anyone else find a woman online and just become enamoured by her not in a sexual way but in a somber, longing way where you imagine yourself as her

>>41280687
years?

Do intrusive trans thoughts mean I'm trans ?

>>41284686
Do you have OCD? If the thoughts aren't ego dystonic, then you're almost certainly trans

>>41280512
Even “perfect” boobs sag with age. Love what you have at any given point rather than chasing an ideal that is fleeting anyway

>>41284851
I haven't had them long, it's an unflattering shape is all
Spaced three feet apart, uneven, asymmetric, ugly shape

i want to kill myself

There is a girl, and I dunno how to describe it correctly, not me, but my body has some feelings to her. I don't like it. I can't avoid her, we're friends and we need support of each other. But I fucking smell that she can be into "me", you know. She is not what I like, I am not what she likes. I don't understand why my brain can't stop thinking about her. We have too much contradiction and she wants to see in me something else, she def needs another person, not me.
She wants to have stable life, kids, a strong partner, I'm not gonna have, do or be any of those. I can't be with her with all my bullshit and no way she'll ever know it.

It's killing my time. It's wrong. People don't understand this shit

need to bully a hrt repper with a atrophied cock

>>41285166
>but my body has some feelings to her.
real af. i can also tell when my brain forces me to feel something in a really primitive way, and it's pure ass. i'll be able to logically know my depressive episode that showed up out of nowhere is not going to last and that my emotions are clouding my judgement, but i can't help but want to die.
the truth is that you're essentially held hostage by your own brain chemistry, and that's just part of being human. you can practice and get better at controlling your response to emotional outbursts, but it will always feel like pure torture.
if you do start something with her, just admit you're a repper right away and see her reaction. if she doesn't want anything to do with you after that, at least none of you went through a song and dance that might've happened if she only found out years later, that would hurt WAY more than any current rejection. this way your brain will also slowly get the memo and move on.
if she's okay with it, then just see how it goes.
t. never been in a relationship

Dunno if this general is for trans-reppers only, so here I go anyways.
I want to suck dick so ridiculously bad, it's insane.
Apart from that I really love my vanilla, married life, so I'll keep on repping and furiously jack off to blowjob porn every once in a while.

I'm probably just MEF

>>41286282
it is for trans reppers only
I don't think that's weird, porn is very giver pov imo so it's not uncommon for men to want to give blowjobs despite being otherwise straight. I always see posts along the lines of some grindr situationship where it's blowjobs only

tfw blowjob fetish but when I tried to give a tranny one I threw up from the sensation/unfamiliar taste and it happened again with the next one

>>41285557
I fall asleep and wake up only with thoughts about her. That's my normal pattern to think about love, but idk, she's just too close and too attached to me, at least I see it this way. She'll never be ok with my bullshit and that's right. She's very traumatized and had more shit in life than me so ofc I'd not make it worse playing with her feelings. My feelings are the problem.
Like even if she was ok to date for a few years and not to make a family with me, but fuck, I'm not normal, I can't have normal sex, I'm a freak and if I'll try to do something more I'll just kms because I can't...... I just fucking can't...

>>41287144
Need to add that I'm not depressed. Like really I'm happier than many people around me, I can see joy and beauty in small things that people ignore. I live okayish life, I have energy. Transition won't improve anything, only will ruin everything.

i wish i could turn myself into a hung goth woman so i could get a gf

>>41287266
god same, I used to be a goth troon but wasn't hung

>>41287266
I remember in highschool I wanted to hang out with these emo kids so bad but I was too miserable/shy/repressed. The fashion trend felt like it'd be a good excuse to wear makeup and paint my fingernails, like as a repper outlet, but I knew my parents would never allow that shit.

>>41287484
i did the same, the closest i got was styling my hair, but i never dyed it or wore jewellery or the makeup. i wanted to be part of it so bad.

I loved the goth/emo scene online but it didn't exist locally so I thankfully avoided what would have been a dysphoria damburst situation.

>>41287484
I was in high school in the mid to late 10s and it was so out of style then, but I still really like the idea of that image

>>41287875
>thankfully
Honestly if I had let myself explore this stuff at every opportunity I had and as a consequence ended up trooning back when I still had a chance for it to work out, then that would've absolutely been better than repping successfully like I did.

>>41288014
it would never work for me, I got a widows peak at 14 and was already 6ft

>>41287484
I used to hang out with those emo goth kids in hs and most of them were theyfabs

i need to do something about these feelings before i implode, so i'll try a little experiment.
from tomorrow up until the end of the year, i will try every healthy cope i think will have some effect on me. this means
>gymcoping
>looksmaxxing
>religioncoping
>reading stoic philosophy
>being away from this board
>touching grass
stuff like that.

some of my greatest doubts are "what if i just want to troon to give up? to stop being such a pathetic male? what if my masculinity has been underdeveloped due to a shitty father figure?", thus i'll try to fix those and then reassess. if i'm still broken by then, guess i'm just fucked.
i'll keep you guys updated once a week or so, if any of you are interested.

>>41288117
Ive been doing this for 4 years.
Didn't work

>>41288117
the only cope that helped was trying to look as much as a girl possible while still denying it

>>41287196
Unrelated but do you have any more images like that?

>>41288176
this this this. also repper can enjoycstatus boost from doing some trad masculinity behaviuors but will hate the act/look (like not avoiding confrontation despite veing subby bitchbir getting bulky from lifting, in a way feeling respected and confidenylt but fridgey, ogrey and debeautied because of it, lats, forearm veins, obliques and traps are the worst, at least long hair hides traps, but still kills tasteful crossressing let alone passing one, even prettyboyingbit kills) or will have moral ick (more about domination, agression, competition type stuff, even if entertainment or so giving bad feelings and eroding empathy and humaneness)

I miss being a goth woman. Male fashion sucks, I just wear henleys and chore jackets now.
>>41288117
My advice is to crossdress in public and see how humiliating it is. Gain some self awareness.

i wish i could go out and go to venues and meet likeminded people how the fuck do ppl find friends and their crowd im so jealous

>>41288657
>Male fashion sucks
well i gobfor 70s-80s konda arts style, i wish i couldwear eyeliner and nail polish, was fat kid during emo/scene era but chavs would beat the shit out of me and family would not let me either. sigh....

>>41288845
they find someone at school and then meet new people through them, if you dont have friends from school its almost impossible to find like minded people

picrel,skinny jeans,black leather shoes, button up or flannel combo is nice

>>41288962
?

>>41288979
Anon thinks dressing like a greaser will help him repress.

>>41289094
I could see rockabilly helping

>>41289094
>greaser
not really

>>41288117
>reading stoic philosophy
the rest of the bad idea aside idk why stoicism became such a meme thing. just read dostoevsky or whatever if you want to seem smart, more interesting. plz keep us updated though

>>41289133
skinny jeans are such an ick on men

skinny jeans look horrible on anyone

>>41289276
picrel (maybe + body hair removal) is acceptable peak femininity/faggotry on men that wont get you into trouble or make people thin ntoo much and ask questions...

>>41289276
>>41289324
:( why tho? they make ass look nice

>>41289355
you're a woman so it's okay

getting ffs as a repper and then pretending i always looked this way

>>41289355
Get some wide legged, high waisted pants which are tight in the waist. They both empathize you waist and hips while offsetting wide shoulders. Only really works if you're thin though

>>41289476
i look like this

>want to be woman
>realize not possible with current technology
>stop thinking about
>live happy life as normal person
wish I could just stop thinking about it

>>41289508
Same, and I think it's the only reason I'm still relatively sane

Was becoming strong worth it?

>>41289656
My shoulders get tired more easily

>>41289508
can I bust a fat load inside you

>>41289476
looks like garbage desu zoomers have no taste

>>41277639
22+ yo reppers*

>>41289147
Because Stoicism involves not challenging the status quo, like your gender identity, and just suffering in silence, which appeals to people who want to remain in power.

the man in the mirror is a stranger to me

morgpie is 100% a tranny you can never convince me otherwise

>not even 20 yet and have thick hair on my back like I'm a 40 year old greek man
It never even began.

>>41288657
>My advice is to crossdress in public and see how humiliating it is. Gain some self awareness.
nah no way, i'm very aware that trooning out and going public with it when you have no chance of passing is basically just drawn out suicide.

>>41289147
>idk why stoicism became such a meme thing
it sounds cool, so people eat it up, and then it gets diluted into vagely motivational quotes. i honestly kinda prefer aristotle's view on eudaimonia and would rather seek that instead but stoics are also pretty cool.
i'll probably read kierkegaard before the stoics though, because of the whole religioncope thing. kierkegaard has the concept of the "leap of faith" and just believing in christianity even though there's never enough evidence to base your entire life on it. you're always a slave to something, be it hedonism, ethics or religion. at least religion gives you a comfort that is mostly independent from material goods or annoying semantics arguments, you just love god and chill.
or something like that.
existentialists from the 20th century might call that cope but i'm a pseud that hasn't read them yet so idk

>plz keep us updated though
will do! see you guys on the weekend.

>>41283662
What do you even do after telling your the rapist you are a repper? What do they even do? That's like dropping a mental health nuke. It'd be weird to go back to talking about regular depression after that.

>>41290646
if it was tight at thighs and butt but flared a bit at bottom a la 70s it would be better, not literal bell bottoms tgese are goofy and get dirty as shit.

>>41291975
female hands

biting hrt repper sensitive breasts

>>41272648 (OP)
>>41272747
>>41276019
>>41278278
I'm not sure I can handle this much Lain in a repper thread...
>>41274258
>Rilke
Nice. I've been meaning to get into him. Any suggestions?

>>41288266
fuck you

crazy how during the night I'm an insomniac but once the sun comes up it's hard to not just sleep all day
at least being sleep deprived lessens my dysphoria since it keeps my mind fuzzy and I can't think clearly

Another day of being miserable because I'm not a hot goth tranny with a subtop gf

i want to kill myself

had another one of those "dont transition" nightmares where i basically get told im a failed man looking for coping mechanisms for fucking up everything in his life

>>41292097
I had deep black hair everywhere since 14 (Im a greek man)

i always tell myself i only want femininity because masculinity isnt rewarding and is brutal, but then i see actual real men say the same thing but they still want to be men? i dont get it.

>>41294812
It's like the if you could turn into a woman with a press of a button talk. Most men wouldn't want to, even a beautiful rich woman. They're comfortable in their gender identity

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

i just wish i was dead, make the pain and confusion stop. why am i not normal, i want to be like the others. nothing is going to work out

>>41272648 (OP)
repped too hard and now I must take part in the army draft, fuck my tranny ince life

>>41294986
this is why everyone should hrt rep enough to get breasts, worst case you're flagged with a hormonal disorder or prolactinoma that makes you ineligible for service

>>41294986
couldn't you just say you're mentally unstable or suicidal to escape? i doubt the army would want a private pyle in their midst. unless you're ukrainian or in some active conflict and the army is just drafting everyone they can throw into the war zone

>>41295050
there is no concept of mental health here
>>41295017
thats the problem, Im gonna get molested and beaten up because i have obvious torpedo breasts

>>41295078
bruh are you Ukrainian? who is letting troons in the army

>>41295091
troon = demonic possession in the balkans

>>41295098
yeah you're fucked, you just gotta bear it. if anyone asks, just tell them you have really bad gyno and hope to god you just get regular bullying.
how long is this gonna last? is this like a south korean draft that lasts ages or is it just some months?

>>41295159
about a year

>>41294630
Extremely this

i wish i could mention my dysphoria to anyone without them going "but you can just transition" because no i can't it doesn't work like that

>>41295678
Same, especially with other trans women complaining about the same. It's legitimately a cult

>>41294677
I dreamt I was building a pirate ship.

i took my pills but even after 7 months i have had 0 changes, maybe im just destined to keep being a repper forever, the only thing that changed is now i know how to inject

>>41296106
Odd, I had tender breasts after a few weeks

>>41296284
no feeling in my chest no feeling anywhere else i feel the same psychologically its just over i dont deserve to transition i shouldnt have tried

made the mistake of browsing twitter and looking at one of those pages where its just constant

>look how pretty i am
>i have sex and im hot
>heres me living my life and having fun every day

GOD I WANT TO KMS

>>41296493
same but almost any page makes me feel this its unbearable

>>41296493
me whenever i see a picture of a redhead...god damn it

Sometimes I worry that I'm not quite the babydollanon that I know I could be.

>>41296691
What do you mean?

First time cum from bulbasting
It's actually terrifying how proned I'm to pain, humiliation and destructive suicidal things
Why I m like this?

>>41296493
this but also gooning to troons

>>41296493
THIS when I live parents apartment

It's not worth transitioning when I'm scarred from not having taken care of my body; acne scars, sh scars, stretch marks, etc

INSANITY ACTIVATED

>>41296493
went outside today and saw a group of girls my age just hanging out, instant heavy feeling in my chest and strong urge to kill myself

>>41289476
this is what i imagine i would dress to meet a grindr or something in a coffee shop because you can't cd fully but you can't just show up as a guy either so it has to be andro
but even something like this can be challenging

I'm going on a trip soon and was wondering if it'd be a good idea to crossdress while I was in a different state. I'm worried about
1. Buying women's clothing I'm probably gonna throw out in shame soon when I could use that same money to do more stuff
2. A lot of my family being up where I'm going
3. Not knowing how people take fags like me up there
I'm going to a blue state and their downtown capital would be fine but I'm worried about the smaller areas that have stuff I wanna do much more
>>41272702
>>41272801
Maybe this is toxic thinking but the fact that we're repping probably bodes well. Transsexuality is a massive cope for self image issues and us not going all in shows we're still rational and halfway to being comfortable about who we are. Or maybe I'm retarded and bigoted I dunno.

>>41298271
>and halfway to being comfortable about who we are
Yeah no.

>>41298271
>the fact that we're repping probably bodes well
>Or maybe I'm retarded
bad news about which of these is true bestie

Learning about HRT and gender dysphoria after it's already too late is an infohazard of the highest order. All the layers of cope and distractions that kept me dissociated enough to be somewhat content came crashing down. I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life because I was too cowardly to do anything about it when it actually mattered. Fuck my stupid faketrans rogd life, I need a drink.

>>41297763
truth nuke, every time i see girls doing anything in public i want to kill myself

>>41298871
girls can have some fun, guys not so much, smaller reppetoire, manyvthings less intense (like fashion or expression through body language for example) and half of it is putrid shit. like only way to make it somewhat bearable and sane is to look and act girly and be high as kite most of time.

people who loiter in public in groups should be shot
I hope my presence as an adult male bothers the hordes of teen roasties I see

why was i born wrong? what god did i piss off?
i remember being like this since i can remember, being a woman just seemed way more appealing to me than being a man, even though i can logically affirm that male bodies are physically superior in pretty much every way.
it's not logical and i hate it, but i can't control it. intentionally making myself more masculine actually drains me. in theory, i can understand, in theory, why going to the gym might be a good idea, or why growing out a beard might make me more attractive, but if i do these things, i'm repulsed by them.
did i never have a chance?

>>41299217
>i remember being like this since i can remember
>in theory, i can understand, in theory
forgive my incredible writing prowess i never proofread anything

>wake up as based muscular incel amab with a heavy labor job
>pretend to be normal around mentally stable co-workers who think I'm autistic anyway
>finish shift, go home
>roleplay as a woman in a video game to ease mental anguish
>workout to increase masculine muscularity, making life and work easier but making me hate myself even more as I don't look feminine, a trade-off between form and function
>roleplay being a woman to AI chatbots to ease mental anguish
>pretend to be woman on 4chong and become angry at my own reflection
>avoid mirrors
>drink till I pass out while RP'ing as a woman in some way
>repeat
Real repper tings frfr

>>41298727
There's no more devastating realization that there is only one person responsible for all your unhappiness: yourself. The second most devastating is that it's too late to do anything about it now.

>Turn 30 in two months
What should I do to celebrate other than heavy drinking alone?

were you guys "gifted kids" growing up?

>>41301095
Yes, but the stress was too much so I eventually stopped engaging with anything like that. Doing anything but perfectly was more miserable than just not bothering in the first place.

>>41301095
Not really, I was always an unmotivated retard but did well enough in school to get by. At least until puberty hit, after that it all went downhill fast.

>>41301095
Good at math, but beyond that I was a burnout to the highest degree

How do I stop hating women? Or stop wanting to be woman?

>>41293931
SEL is repper kino I'm afraid.

>>41298727
true I can't think of anything else that will ruin your life just by knowing it, it's literal memetic warfare
>>41301095
yes, was a "gifted kid" until HS when I fell into a depression and became a NEET bum 5 years after graduation.

>>41299217
nale bodies and pshchesare superior as in a worker/soldier ant way. to survive in evil imlpure world of zero sum fame where everything that was born rots and withers away with time... female ones are in emotional fulfilment ones. eternal heavenly exstatic ascended beauty and goodness. nothing is more real than emotions thoughts and feelings.

I'm going to kill myself because my skeleton will forever be tall and wide (compared to the female average for my country)

Anyone else get the urge to upend your life and move somewhere cold and isolated from everything.

>>41302938
yes constantly every day

>>41302938
yeah
I would become a hermit in the wilderness if that was still financially viable

>>41302456
only after my death from a tall building will my large ribcage and ridiculous shoulders become just a smudge

can't sleep

>>41303350
Me too. Why do you think this is happening?

i look like a man and behave like a man, but nobody treats me like a man
i'm confused

>>41304502
Because you look younger smaller and gayer in their eyes I guess

im ugly

>>41304518
I'm tall, older than them and I don't look gay at all

>>41304585
Idk maybe something in your behavior
Normies always can smell that you are different

>>41304630
Idk even if they treat me like a gay guy(?)
do they say something special or idk?

I'm straight

>>41302938
where would you bros live if you could? I've always imagined far southern chile, though that's probably influenced by that one guy who lived without much real contact for half a century as a sheepherder around there

>>41304655
>I'm straight
Idk you just brain worming yourself

>>41299385
the larping actually increases your anguish by deeply ingraining in you what you can never have, just so you know

I will never be a woman and I’m also fake-dysphoric so I never had a chance to begin with and I’m almost 30
I should shave my head and go bald
I should lift
I should quit my job and go work construction

How2rep successfully: Get a life and stop fapping. Its that shrimple.

>>41302392
YoU are thee absolute most fembrained poster over and over in these threads. Please Just get off drugs and transition already. you already mentally pass and with the right wardrobe makeup and hrt youll physically pass in under a year
PLEASE

>physical passing matters
Only soul and voice passing matters

>>41296924
yeah there are ppl younger than me trooning out and making lots of trans friends and im just here in my parents place rotting

does anyone else feel extremely guilty about their sexuality ?

>>41305147
you don't look like that

>>41305325
yes. i feel very guilty for everything about sexuality

>>41305325
yeah mostly because i know its an entirely male sexuality inverted on itself. i look at myself through my own rapist moid eyes

i like this image a lot

tfw iwn be a cute lesbian

>>41305418
and you dont look like a woman

>>41305150
i wish i could. i need a wayntibget outbof country, find stable job, and environment that would make it possible to troon without veing bullied or pressured tibstio. i am too sensitive to do it otherwise. wiukd still boymode with binder and zero make up when visiting family, likely they couod belive in excuse of ne just having good skin if i remained thin... burlt likely ffs will be needed. almost certainly. sigh..

>>41305610
you do though you little faggot

Today is one of those days with the vibe that the person I should've been died 20 years ago and I've just been carrying on as an empty walking corpse every since.

>>41302938
I wish I could move to a country in the remote north and have a cozy, forgotten, nothing-job like researching arctic shrimp. I'd have a small warm office that I also live in and most of my days would be spent listening to Art Bell and analyzing incredibly niche data on my windows XP computer.

I want to try ssris but I dont want to be reminded of my mistake of taking hrt so I refuse to go to the doctor. its uncomfortable and dont want to be asked uncomfortable questions. are there small clinics that arent in network of large hospitals that wont have my medical history?

>>41305325
I spend way too much time just obsessing over what I "should" be attracted to.

>>41307277
they won't fix your problem. look for the permanent solution

>>41307277
you can just go to a new doctor and not give them any of your medical history from what I know, not like they have a central medical database
>>41307537
is this advice to kill ourselves or

>>41307277
Same, and also even the shittiest places have wait lists that are way too long

>>41303350
can't live

Dubs say all of /repgen/ will become furry women.

you can buy ssris from online pharnacies ir from darknet accessed through tor, pay with crypto, communicate with sessiob ir telegram. better former but they varely do abything and are harmful. they night raise prolactin which is bad for hair and skin. if your gobba dibdrugs for cooe at least do fun ones.

>>41305325
Extremely, not even just in the self hating AGP or closeted faggot sort of way. I just hate feeling any sort of sexual thought or desire at all regardless of what it's about.

People will never accept you unless you're a hollowed out walking cliche cartoon character.

>>41304731
On the outskirts of some town in northern/eastern Europe or maybe a cabin in the middle of nowhere up in Alaska. I've always really liked winter especially the snow and longer nights, It's really comfy in a melancholic sort of way.

Dear sisters, I've come for help.

I'm a 25yo man with crippling gender envy and I genuinely don't know what to do. I wish I could try being a woman for a few days just to see what it's like.

I've started wearing women's jeans and hoodies to work. I started learning how to do makeup and started experimenting with subtle looks. And it feels so good. Even tho I look like a total hon, at least I don't have to wear overly masc clothing.

I feel so envious of the elegant women in public transport. The dresses, the shoes, the skirts, the tights, the hair, the makeup, the necklaces... I wish I could look like them too...

Sometimes the gender envy is so tough I have to cry before sleep.

Yet... I know I'm not trans. I'm a gender envious man. I don't mind my penis (I don't exactly love it either tho and I'd rather use a strap-on for sex). And I'm very unsure about boobs to the point that I think I'd dislike them if they started growing.

Anyone else suffering from this cis gender envy syndrome? How do you cope? How do I explain to my therapist that I'm not actually trans?

>>41307565
ok i just decided to live with it and am going to new doctor but it's in the same hospital network so probably gonna have to talk about it. hopefully it wont be too bad. chose doctor that also does transgender stuff so hopefully they wont judge me too hard, hopefully in the future it will just be buried in my charts or I move to where there isn't large network of hospital/clinic around me. feels gross
>>41307600
wait lists aren't too bad here luckily

>>41308050
Hello dear redditor
>How do you cope? How do I explain to my therapist that I'm not actually trans?
Say "Wearing women's clothes feels good, but I do not identify as a woman"

What is your problem here exactly? Just wear women's clothes and keep living your life. If you're asking how to stop being envious of women, consider this >>41305147

>>41308099
She calls me by a woman's name and I like it. My native language is gendered and I do talk using gendered language with her.

I have a life. Also why would I need to stop masturbating? It's fun, I enjoy it.

Problem is I can't just wear women's clothes and be happy with life because I get reminded 100 times a days that I'm not a woman but a fucking guy.

>>41308207
>why would I need to stop masturbating?
Masturbation makes people stay single and unmotivated since they can satisfy their needs without having to go out and do things. If you dont masturbate it will probably improve your life.
>I can't just wear women's clothes and be happy with life because I get reminded 100 times a days that I'm not a woman
I mean the solution is obvious then, no? If feeding into the habit makes your life more worse than good, then stop doing it.

being a pretty girl must be amazing, everywhere you go people will automatically treat you nicely, theres no social fear because its impossible for you to ever be rejected, hence you have more life experiences and everything is easy.

as an ugly moid, everyone is wary of you and finds you offputting. its actually so brutal. i dont even have gender dysphoria probably, its all just the total horror of how your biological state represents 90% of your value as a human being

>>41309185
People like that have no context for what you're talking about because the idea that they might be unwanted is foreign to them.

i think i am just absolutely traumatized by how gender actualizes itself in social situations, put a pretty girl in a room of 10 people and watch how she dominates the space, once you see it happen you cant unsee it. they dont have to do anything. they just exist and everyone wants them. we are all just animals in the end, and your position in the hierarchy cant be altered much i think.

>>41309185
at least im a handsome man

Reminder you can very likely undysphoria yourself

>>41309185
As a woman or as a feminine person at all, people believe you're evil and lesser and want to rape you by default.

>>41309260
hey
...
you come here often?
do you like puppies, long walks on the beach and like scented candles? (*-_-*)

>>41310308
?
nta but not my experience (as a man nobody ever treated as a full man) even evil girls get the pass far too often
... so how's life as a ftm repper, huh?

>>41310308
lol people do not believe women are evil, they believe they are perfect angels (and want to rape them)

>>41310450
Right that's totally why we have a fucking female president right now, right? Because the world loves women so much?

>>41310472
So being trans is just an escapist fantasy for you despite the fact that you're a misogynist incel?

>>41310473
girl? dude? idk, idc to be honest, that doesn't really answer that thing.

men are brutal, liars, ugly, stinking, narcissistic freaks to the common consciousness and.... strangely 'IT DOESN'T MATTER!
as we're all told they're leaders while history shows they're only directed by their short phalluses.

girls get the pass but don't get the control. weird? yes. illogical? yes, totally. true? FUCK YES.

>>41310481
nta but i think being trans is mostly about an escapist fantasy in general. we see, we want. human condition, and we're really bad to see the "positive" effects just the negative ones.
i mean i'm guilty of that, and mostly everyone else is too, even the afab friends that talks how men and females are totally different and never actualy reflect on shit?
the stupid afab ones are steered towards astrology, the stupid amab ones towards machismo, conflict worship, steroids and death...

>>41310473
We don't have a female president because they keep nominating unelectable females. Europe has plenty of female leaders, so it's not some impossible concept.

>>41310481
yes basically, i mean im not sure what else it could be. maybe i am a misogynist incel, maybe i am an ugly moid. i dislike having these traits, i am endeared by femininity but alienated by it completely both within myself and sexually. i did have a gf once but the sex was bad and i think i felt kind of humiliated by it, i never really felt like enough of a man but i also never wanted to be one either, at least not fully.

>>41310473
yes the world loves women, i think pretty much everything would be easier for me socially if i was a woman. id say other than trying to do things like compete in male dominant spaces, but most males are dropping out of the workforce now and more women than ever have degrees so go figure lol

>>41310293
would rather unman myself. not possible to be happy, good, sane and man at the same time. seeing face of classical sculpture is pretty telling. its one of chuds/facists/stoics/whatevers sculpture period. talking about courage its near given this one recomends learning becoming proficient at violence, protection and indulging in other similar elated seetges like psyching up with le epic violent entertainment which is fucking cancer in a society... obvious if you put some stone cold logical thinking into it withou allowing cultural zeitheist sway you with "energies" related to shame, insecurity,fear and acceptance if status quo. best as a man you can be bubbly fruity woman lite, like pretroon Contra and likes but still much worse than just veing a woman.
>>41310450
>as a man nobody ever treated as a full man
got this too for some reason. likely i am too kind, soft, sensitive you know...
>>41310519
>the stupid amab ones towards machismo, conflict worship, steroids and death...
yep. evil and cancerous as fuck. ignites cruelty, erodes humaneness. nobidea how as a society we realistically could fix this... maybe ai singularity?
>>41310565
well wo.an presitent would on average be better but many of women leaders are warlike chudette cunts.

>>41310293
this is probably true, ive been thinking about being feminine since i was like 12 though so im probably fucked

>>41310698
hii... :3

>>41310713
hi, going to job, will cldan bathtubs for old farts. saltwater baths. nonsense from phusiotuerapy standpoin, just good for skin, one doc (rip&pbuh) said that its as good as bath in holy water. was right. but boomer belive this woo woo nonsense so we have to do this at our physio place. goverment refunds this. looools

>>41310759
lol wtf?
i mean saltwater baths might help for specific skin problems (got some personal experience from weird but kinda working stuff still used) but yeah woo is strong :/

>>41310759
wya btw? just asking to know what place believes in salt water treatment...

>>41310794
>>41310800
whole poland does... goverment pays for it. also for mudpacking. comedy and tragedy at the same time

>>41310810
:/

but ngl i would like to try mud at least once

people belive this will heal them lol. we have shitty borowina, often with pieces of broken glass cause its miners from nearby mine are bunch of drunks that break bittles lil

:(
i mean it might feel nice but actually helping with anything?...

>>41311008
not any more than just warming place with warm bath or something. people like it because they like warmth

>>41272648 (OP)
>every person I show myself to on the internet says I look like a woman....
>I think I look like a caveman
Fucck

>>41302938
yes, especially when I saw this video of this guy living alone in siberia. Personally I would do it in a heartbeat.

>>41278278
I am.
2 whole damn years, and I only male fail ~50% of the time. This is a scam.

>>41311543
I mean can't you rely on your own understanding? I think I pass at certain angles and such but I also know the others I don't, how I look in bad lighting or from a distance, etc
I feel you because the same flattery caused me to transition before but you can't escape reality

Is there any hope for a submissive straight guy who secretly wishes they were female? I'm a virgin at 23 and I'd feel bad for the girl I'd be with if I ever got a girlfriend.

hot

>>41311932
You won't get a girlfriend period if you're submissive... Maybe a troon but that's it

>>41312149
Yeah he must grow a dominant side. That's what worked for me

>>41310698
>not possible to be happy, good, sane and man at the same time
try saying that again and leaving your room

>>41312149
idk i don't like women or don't like dominating

>>41272801
Its so fucking fun but you can't go back. I did it and continued but I know it's fake like you repbros and holy fuck it is honestly a truth that a part of you dies when you transition. You know you're too far gone, so it's like fuck it whatever might as well have tranny sex nonstop and get the most of it. I'll never untranny my body. It's all I have left anymore.

If you haven't taken hrt, don't start. You will always be disgusted with yourself on a deep level even as you wring on the fake happy go lucky trans girl larp. You know deep down you're just a sex freak, but your only thing keeping you sane is pretending you were always meant to be a tranny. The alternative is being a detroon, attractive to neither the gay nor straight community and actively shunned at and laughed at by all. Who wants to be a he/him with tits? It's fucking over. You take that first estrogen shot or pill and you just lose. Your nipples change shape within 48 hours and never revert back, and it's just more and more permanent changes from there. If you did shots, you don't have time to detrans before permanent changes set in.

Truly, I pretend to be happy to all other aspects of my life, but I will be honest to you that I regret giving into what makes me coom hard, because it left me with permanent body changes and overall just feeling chewed up by a community that frankly gets more boring the older u get. Realizing ur gonna be the 50 year old Troon of the town someday is fucking grim, and makes you want to manmode anyways. Passing is a pipedream, and even if it wasn't, you know deep down you're not a woman.

Ugh. Fuck I wish someone said this to me back then.

>>41312329
how are you a straight guy?

My skin is terrible off hrt. Maybe I just don't take enough care but acne, blackheads, dry flaking skin that bleeds... Ugh I hate being a moid

>>41282388
>>41312346
Here's a repfuel nuke from a regretful tranny who lies to the world but is in too deep to stop. You will likely feel similar results if your mental state repping was anything like mine. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah, the sex hot.
In exchange:
Infertility
Conetits
You will never swim comfortably in public again
Your chest will hurt
Your bladder will weaken
You will lose erections, your penis will leak when aroused, inconveniencing jobs and being in public.

It just kinda fucking sucks. The grass is always greener on the other side. You think being a tranny will fix your life, so you do it, and it has some perks but is also a final commitment, so you have to say it worked or else you look like a fucking retard. So you just kinda keep transitioning, while really you just feel the same in your head you always felt. If you think you're ugly now, you wills till think you're ugly. If you think anything about yourself, in general your self image will stay the same. You will just have changes to your body, many of which are inconvenient, some which make you coom hard, and some which in rare cases may actually make u happy, but in general being a tranny is probably just a worse existence than a man. You're a second class citizen, a protofacsimile woman in a patriarchal world, and in general you just realize Yeah being a woman just fucking sucks in a lot of ways.

>>41312389
idk i don't like men
but it doesn't matter, nobody liked me ever

>>41312421
More than that. Not just being a woman. Being a fucking tranny is awful.

If you troon, it is inevitable you will be the 50 year old tranny in town someday. Do you want your community to think you're weird? Do you want no social life? Do you want your only friends to be a bunch of dwindling pleasure seeking hedonist druggy faggots who drop off year after year from overdoses, prostitution, homelessness, and in general just being fucked by society?
Do you want to be a tranny when a global rise of fascism is realistically and honestly threatening to kill you?

Don't do it. Rep. I'm a tranny and I regret it. But I won't stop trooning and I'll lie to everyone else but u repbros. The sex is hot and it keeps me alive but the drive I felt to live as a man is gone.

I think all trannies think with this level of self hate and lie. I think all body dysmorphic people do. Bodybuilders, trannies, the weirdos who want to self amputate, etc.

>>41312444
>Is there any hope for a submissive straight guy
bruh why did you post this

>>41312346
>>41312421
>>41312453
Your results may vary but this is my story trooning for 2 years. Honestly? It's a life of lying to yourself that you're happy, without fixing the root causes. I would have preferred not to have trooned, but being a tranny is better than being a detroon conetits

>>41312479
sorry nta
i just replied

is there any better place to have a conversation about this? or like any book to read?
not only about gender, but sexuality too

>>41312453
my tranny friends are some of the most successful put together people i know, many of them make 6 figures and have a very active social life full of friends both cis and trans. the idea that being trans ostracizes you is just a meme, it ostracizes you if you were already a fuckup, but that has nothing to do with being a tranny.

>>41312346
you know you can just spend a couple grand and get your chest flattened

>>41312607
I'm a 6 figure tranny. I am a community leader. And I'm the tranny of every friend group, and it is fundamentally a discriminatory role that I have no choice over, now. I am judged by my identity, and you are an idiot and blind if you think trannies aren't. It is a fundamental downgrade that will lead to systemic and everyday discrimination in every aspect of your life: professional, social, familial, societal. My family disowned me. Politicians hate me. Friends pity me. My job kneecaps me because I'm a woman, and worse than that, a man pretending to be a woman.

Get real. Money is not happiness and if it was I could have careermaxed better being a man because trooning glass ceilinged me in elections for higher positions. Don't talk to me about discrimination bitch maybe u live in lala fantasyland gayvillage but most people live in fascist shitholes and are actively made second class citizens immediately upon becoming visibly trans. Not all discrimination is legislation, and even in legislation and policy we are less than others.
>>41312624
See part 2
>>41312421

>>41312624
>>41312632
Besides why not stay a tranny I'm infertile and the sex is funner than anything I had going on as a cis man.

But had I put as much effort into being a cis man as I did being a tranny, my life would be 100 fold better

>>41312632
yeah but as a man you would be judged to the standards of a man also. idk, i never felt comfortable or happy being masculine. i wish i didnt feel like i had to troon ofc, but i dont even think about it in those terms because it didnt matter, my physical appearance was bothering me too much to care.

my family will probably disown me too if they ever find out. and that feels better to me than a life of pretending im okay and that im part of the family and wouldnt be rejected as soon as i did anything to express myself.

>>41312653
>my life would be 100 fold better

you dont know that lol

if you want to be a cis man just detransition and schedule top surgery

if i did that id literally be identical to me pre-trans, i might even be more masc since i have aged

tfw russian crossdressers not on hrt pass perfectly and dont have to make themselves infertile or give themselves conetits to look 20% as good

>>41312744
asian men....

I want a guy to cuddle me but I'm fucking terrified of people

>>41312744
Russian men look good until they turn 19 and start balding at the speed of light

>>41311796
oh definitely, I have a very masculine body, with a wide ribcage. Women on the internet, keep saying I look like a woman, mind you this isn't a tranny fishing for validation, I am acting like a regular guy. If I didn't get tits I'd troon out to see the facial changes.

>>41312632
wait is this a tranny telling us not to troon, inshallah finally. I feel like most pinkpillers are just gooners.

>>41312421
realest nigga on 4chan.

>>41312453
they already treat me like a tranny because so many of you faggots don't pass that just having long hair and shaving is enough to be called a tranny. I HAVE ARM HAIR FFS.

>>41312394
as somebody who conquered severe cystic acne, I have no doubt you can fix it if you get the right topicals, and diet rolling.

>>41311932
Don't act submissive until the bedroom, godspeed.

>>41312346
Okay but I don't plan on having hedonistic sex, so it's clear my motivations differ from yours.

>>41312421
>Infertility
Don't care, I could never be a mom anyway.
>Conetits
Don't have that but I do have gyno.
>You will never swim comfortably in public again
I already can't do that thanks to gyno.
>Your chest will hurt
Oh no random soreness like every other part of my body.
>Your bladder will weaken
Did you make a habit of holding your piss for a long time anyway? That's bad for your kidneys.
>You will lose erections
Good.
>>41312453
>Do you want your community to think you're weird?
I hate my 'community.'
>Do you want no social life?
I already don't have one.
>Do you want your only friends to be a bunch of dwindling pleasure seeking hedonist druggy faggots who drop off year after year from overdoses, prostitution, homelessness, and in general just being fucked by society?
All my friends are online.
>Do you want to be a tranny when a global rise of fascism is realistically and honestly threatening to kill you?
This is the only good point you've made so far, the current social tide is to use us as a scapegoat for the economy and immigration.

>>41312632
>Money is not happiness
only people with money say this. just like how people who have sex say sex isn't everything and is actually overrated. you're incapable of putting yourself in someone else's shoes therefore all your advice is useless.

>>41312346
you can just take t or cut your mantits

>>41307633
Dubs I become cute female octopus humanoid mutant in after life

>>41313864
>only people with money say this. just like how people who have sex say sex isn't everything and is actually overrated. you're incapable of putting yourself in someone else's shoes therefore all your advice is useless.

Extremely this

one thing about repping is that i have never really felt like myself, 10+ years of being uncomfortable in my own skin. i see 18 year olds who are acting like fully independant adults and im not capable of it and i think this is why. if you cant feel like yourself and everything feels forced and fake its hard to try. but maybe thats just an excuse

i really want to give up

i fucking hate passgen, i hate trannies, i hate that i wasted 15 years of my life thinking about this shit constantly and being behind literally everyone

>>41314388
Same

id do a bunch of drugs and hang myself but its pointless because nobody would care anyway. life is so fucking ridiculous and absurd but everyone is so beaten down by it nobody talks about it.

like how the fuck, how is everyone not horrified by their bodies? how can some people be happy with it all. it really doesnt make sense to me anymore, i wish i could stop having my mind so i could understand how to live properly

>>41314593
>like how the fuck, how is everyone not horrified by their bodies


>It's okay to be ugly
They say

>>41309260
Picture incomplete girl needs QoS tattoo

>>41314388
yeah, but I still haven't turned my life around yet... Maybe there'll be a labour shortage in winter

I think the idea of suicide right now is stupid, to be honest. Spiritually speaking, why kill myself along with the Normies? I don't want to cross paths with those people in my next life.

Now the world is built on such randomness that. I mean, where is the guarantee that in your next life you will be given a body without dysphria? And where is the guarantee that you will not be born in unfavorable conditions? There are more and more raw dumb religious niggas. Where is the guarantee that later you will not join their ranks and again live a life full of suffering?

>>41312570
99 percent of all tranny discourse is dogshit and not worth engaging with, this is the best you're going to get.