>>41318951
they sectioned me because, after my diy got taken off me for the third or so time, i got so catatonically depressed i didnt show up to school for two weeks.
i was too traumatised to take back control of my life. i didn't have hobbies, possessions, i didn't do anything really until i left home. and when i thought about buying estrogen i got the OCD/PTSD forced medication fears. i also felt that my life was over - all of my dreams and desires were crushed, i lost any sense of urgency that i needed to transition to prepare for the rest of my life, because i felt like i had no life left to prepare for. it was a very very bad period. it's been 7 years and i'm just, JUST starting to recover mentally.
and yes i got turbo raped by puberty. i don't know if i can ever pass. i don't think i can. i don't really have a life and can't show up to college over dysphoria. i waited after i turned 18 too because the mental illness was still so bad. i wasn't repping, i desperately wanted to be a woman and start hrt, i emailed clinics in the country i moved to (Canada) but didn't get appointments and blood tests sorted out for years. i was just totally non-functional. full psychic disintegration.
and i can't just tell the news, what is there to say? "NHS followed standard procedures with a teenager who tried to buy illegal drugs". no one gives a shit. 10000 comments on the news article "Fuck that retard!!". i used to be a queer activist when i was on hrt as a teenager but now i don't look like a woman i can't do it anymore.