Thread 41446539

I transitioned at 16. I'm now 19. I work out. I have a supportive family. I have female levels of testosterone and estrogen. I took 4 of those blue pills under my tongue every morning and night. I had a fucking androgen suppressant implant.

I had everything going for me and yet I have a browbone like a neanderthal that makes my eyes look tiny, slender cheeks and massive fucking chin that makes me look like dolph lundgren, disgusting conetits, and literally 0 fat redistribution despite working out constantly. My shoulders are at least twice as wide as my hips even when I have proper posture. My legs are skinny as a fucking chicken's and all the fat which goes directly to my stomach and love handles which make my hips look even narrower make me look like a depressed middle aged man.

I have literally, since around a year of girlmoding, never even once been gendered female by a stranger. Not even when I'm wearing a skirt with heavy makeup and with my hair done. I've never been catcalled or approached or even looked at suggestively by another person. Ever.

I fucking hate this. It's not fair that people who transitioned even later than I did pass better than me. If I had just realised sooner I could've had a boyfriend by now. I couldve had a friend group of girls who i could've gone seeing movies with. I could've been happy and I could've been pretty like all my sisters are. But now I'm disgusting. A failed experiment.

When i kill myself i won't even be the cute girl online who everyone mourns like breonna taylor or eden knight. I'm going to kill myself and youre going to see me as a disgusting incel hon and walk right over me and my wasted life will be gone like it never happened at all.

Fuck this abomination of a body that a sadistic god strapped my mind into.

post selfie so we can see

let people who don't see you through a lens of dysphoria judge

>>41446548
Ig it doesnt matter. This is about as good as i get. I'm wearing makeup and girl clothes in this.

>>41446696
your face passes you just dress like a retard

>>41446539 (OP)
>It's not fair that people who transitioned even later than I did pass better than me
Was feeling sorry for you until this lol have fun hon I'm glad you'll never pass <3

>>41446696
>>41446708
no seriously you dress like a retard
>dark brown scarf
>light brown jacket
>vibrant orange shirt
>dark green plaid skirt
this is your biggest problem and it's not close

>>41446708
No it doesnt. I know it doesn't because nobody has ever referred to me as anything but male. Why are you being contrarian. And yeah its retarded but this was a halloween costume. I usually dress more normally.

>>41446696
You look like that bitch from Star Wars Outlaws

>>41446727
How mad does it make you feel that I'm a passoid and started years after you

>>41446713
I couldve worded that better, I'm sorry I'm just bitter.

>>41446696
I would date you if you weren't 19 since I'm 30. Keep your head up. Sure, you're a little clocky, but it's in a very cute way. Wife material when you get older.

>>41446739
Reading ppl writing shit like this pisses me off because I had to repress until I could move to another fkn country because my mum expressly forbade me to troon
Anyway you just need FFS retard same as everyone that started post puberty

>>41446696
i struggle to imagine a world where no one has gendered you female

>>41446734
I'm not genuinely angry at you I'm moreso just generally bitter. I don't hate other people because the only one I have only myself and god to blame

>>41446746
>you're a little clocky, but it's in a very cute way

This made me throw up in my mouth I hate you. I dont wanna be cute i wanna be a girl.

>>41446773
>I dont wanna be cute i wanna be a girl.
nta but u look like a girl
just an ugly girl

>>41446749
>you just need ffs

Can't. My country's healthcare system doesn't pay for it because its considered cosmetic surgery. And also I know tgirls irl who started after me who pass flawlessly without ffs. And technically it wasn't after puberty it was more like halfway through.

>>41446696
FUCK YOU YOUNGSHIT PASSOIDS THAT DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE REAL STRUGLE

BAWW I NEED FFS TO LOOK FULLY CIS

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE STRUGGLE OF BEING A BRICKHON OGRE

>>41446794
>And also I know tgirls irl who started after me who pass flawlessly without ffs.
Yeah and some ppl are billionaires life is unfair retard
Just get a job omg it's 10k€ if you go in France

>>41446800
Dude I'm 6'. I literally am a brickhon. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm shaped like fucking taylor swift or something.

>>41446824
>I literally am a brickhon.
we can literally see you're not you fucking whore

>>41446812
>life is unfair

Uh. Yeah. I know. That's why I'm making this post. I'm not saying I'm sad because I don't look like a supermodel, I'm sad because I literally do not look like a girl at all, period. I don't even look like an ugly girl. All of my tgirl friends do. I'm just unlucky.

>10k euros

Uhuh.


>France


Uhuh.

>>41446854
Then cry about how unlucky you are boohoo fuck off bitch it is truly jover there is nothing you can do even working at a fast food for one year isn't possible because you're so retarded teehee
Seriously get fucked

>>41446854
>I'm sad because I literally do not look like a girl at all, period. I don't even look like an ugly girl.
convinced this is bait at this point, nice thread faggot

>>41446829
Also I'm not a passoid. Like objectively I'm not. I have never been gendered female even once. Never catcalled, never nothing. Women cross the street when they see me. It feels like you're just saying I'm a passoid so you can be mad at me for venting. Why can't we just commiserate like adults.

>>41446873
Or maybe I just don't have 10k + travel expenses in disposable income and I don't have the money or time to get another job to go to france???

>>41446876
Its not bait but I doubt anything I could say would convince you of that if you already made up your mind about it.

>>41446907
Why not? Studying a random degree? Thought you were gonna an hero. Retard.

>>41446927
Im saying its not possible even theoretically

>>41446941
>privileged white tranny with supportive parents can't do what 3rd worlders do all the time
Ok lol woe is you

>>41446881
i feel like you are either not noticing stuff like this or live in an area where every single person is a transgender detector, i get she/hered and called a lady all the time and i do not pass :P if i saw a picture of you randomly i wouldnt think you where a troon :3

>>41446696
Cuter than the average non-fat cism but wearing retard clothes, I concur with the other anons. You can already be hot as fuck with a day of restyling and will be hotter at 25

>>41447088
>>41446907
Also you will have much more money at 25 and could easily pull a 6 figure bf to pay for it right now

>>41446696
You definitely pass ignore these other faggots

>>41447117
What world do you live in jfc. I can barely pull fat chasers.

>>41447088
>Cuter than the average non-fat cism

Nta but thats like saying hes less perverted than the average jeet kek

>>41447170
"Easily" might have undersold it but there are at least three employed + Arnold Schwarzenegger-looking chasers in cg that thirst for less attractive girls on a daily basis
This is including LTRs though

>>41447205
LDR*
Just take the 30 year old rich guy bf-pill

>>41447213
I just wanna look like my sisters. I wanna be a normal teenage girl.

>>41447233
>I wanna be a normal teenage girl.
You are nearly 20 years old. You are not a teenage girl. You're a big girl now lil gup act like it

>>41447270
Im gonna die a teenager its okay.

>>41447305
Go the therapy you fucking moron

>>41447233
Plenty of cis women have that phase of their life in college. I understand what you yearn for, but it's not nearly as lost as you seem to think it is. You are 1 year into being an actual human

>>41447329
Cis women actually got to be teenage girls though. I got to be a gross depressed boy and then a gross depressed faggot

>>41446696
discord?
t. passoid t girl who thinks you're cute

>>41446539 (OP)
Have you ever considered that you're not really trans and you just got brainwormed into believing you have dysphoria? Trust me it happens to the best of us..

>>41446696
>doompost
>look inside
>bdd with D cups

>>41447410
I'm gonna kill myself over not looking like a girl and ur thought is maybe ur not trans r u baiting

>>41446539 (OP)
I'm a fucking tranny and I hate you trannies so much. You're all such annoying whiney cunts who want someone who hand you a warrant to be happy. You'll never be fucking happy unless you can get inside someone else's head and see they have no thoughts about you as anything but a cis woman. Well guess what? That's not fucking philosophically or psychologically possible. Life is a risk. You'll never know how people think of you, what they really mean. All you can be sure of is how you view yourself, and no amount of people correctly gendering you or catcalling you is going to make you fucking happy, you pretty, stupid bitch. Quit fucking whining on 4chan, get into fucking therapy and get on meds, because that will be what makes you accept yourself, not some random fucking comment by strangers that you'll somehow convince yourself was fake and just a joke anyway.

>>41447424
The best advice I've ever gotten is to start practicing meditation and read about the chakras.

>>41447438
>You'll never be fucking happy unless you can get inside someone else's head and see they have no thoughts about you as anything but a cis woman. Well guess what? That's not fucking philosophically or psychologically possible

Nta but this is such a cope kek actual women are thought of as real women

>>41447438
Ppl talk abt therapy like its a one size fits all immediate magical cure most therapists are fucking retarded

>>41447497
>actual women are thought of as real women
Prove it. Literally prove you know what any other human being is actually thinking. You can't, you fucking retard. The real cope is this young tranny nihilism where you just believe the world is out to get you and that you could never possibly be happy unless you were born with exactly the right things. Like lmao, I don't even know why I bother trying to help retarded girls like you when you clearly just wanna be annoying, self-loathing faggots. Do whatever you want, it's no skin off my back if you're miserable and refuse to change.

>>41447422
This was a padded bra in my halloween costume sorry should've specified. This is what I look like normally (in my pj's but still)

>>41447509
Yeah, that's why you spend years of your life finding the right therapist, moron. Obviously they aren't a magical cure, but it's actually doing something as opposed to this self-fulfilling prophecy whining ass bullshit. You're gonna be here in a few years anyway, wouldn't you rather have worked on your mental health by then? Or are you just gonna sit around and wait for magic that's never gonna happen?

I hate to break it to you annoying cunts, but hating yourself enough isn't going to make the universe magically feel bad for you and make you cis. Take responsibility for your own life.

>>41447521
Tbh I have no idea what you're trying to say but I can say that you're actually not helping nor are you genuinely interested in trying to help. You're just yelling at me to go to therapy like I haven't tried that. that's okay though. I wasn't asking for help or advice. I just wanted to talk candidly to someone about it. Someone who won't try to stop me.

>>41447535
If the whining annoys you so then why did you click on this thread? Take care of yourself and stop wasting your time talking to people you hate talking to.

>>41447563
>like I haven't tried that
Going to one therapy session isn't trying. If you're suicidal, fucking go to a crisis unit. People on 4chan aren't gonna help you. I'm sick of people expecting things to change just because they feel bad enough. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and make a choice to see the world differently, it is possible. If you wanna keep denying that you have a choice in your own happiness, then fine, be a miserable suicidal cunt the rest of your life. You are pretty and you look fine and you are more privileged than half the trans women I know havign a family that even talks to you. Quit fucking telling yourself you wanna die because you don't look like some fucking anime girl or movie star, cause you never will.

>>41447581
Because someone has to say something, otherwise these stupid mentally ill bitches will keep coming back week after week when they realize that suicidal ideation and suicide are two different things, and that they're just trying to find some rationalization for why they are unhappy so that they don't have to actually work on themselves and their self image. And because I genuinely want to see people like OP happy, but I just know they're never gonna find it threatening suicide to strangers or loved ones. Ask me how I know.

>>41447587
I literally just said I'm not asking for advice or help. And you don't know how long I've been looking for therapy, you don't know me. I've gone to therapy for most of my life. I've also been to a crisis unit. If it worked I wouldn't be here but it didn't. Why are you here anon?

>>41446696
>mfw I see a youngshit "hon"
Feels illegal to use tranny memes as a chaser. Anyways.. I'd she/her you on the street. You just need a cute outfit, SRSly wtf is this? And you got well formed milkers. You pass and also, smash.

And I get all the manmoders and hons... this feels like fucking attention seeking, it's really hard to believe that other people would call you a dude or something.

>>41447602
Is english ur first language? /gen

>>41447623
Posting myself in a padded bra and makeup was the most retarded thing i did desu.

>>41447617
>I've gone to therapy for most of my life.
Yeah bitch, you're fucking 19 years old. I have been in and out of therapy and crisis units since I was 14. I'm now 28. Guess what? Haven't had a single suicidal thought in over a year, I'm genuinely happy, I flirt with cis people, I'm in academia and making a life for myself. And you know when things changed? It wasn't the fucking 100th time I texted my friends asking them to just admit that I was ugly and manly and yada yada yada like you're trying to do here. It wasn't the countless times I put a fucking belt around my neck and tied it to my doorknob, telling myself this is what I deserve and that some people are just destined to kill themselves. It was when I fucking took responsibility for myself, realized that I kept repeating the same cycles over and over because it was a fucking fix no different than weed or heroin or alcohol. Suicidal ideation is a tool to escape a reality over which you have little control. You're trying to create some fucking narrative in your head to convince yourself of why you're unhappy, but it's not because the world is a certain way or because you look a certain way, Nona. It's because you're fucking depressed, probably traumatized on some level like just about every human alive nowadays is, and need intense therapy that's not just "tell me about your week." Look into Intensive outpatient programs if you have any near you.

>>41447587
I dont wanna look like a movie star or an anime girl I just wanna look like a girl like my sisters and all my friends do.

>>41447632
Yes, I'm just buzzed.

>>41447674
And literally me and your sisters and 100 random women on the street could tell you that you do look like a woman, and you wouldn't believe it. You'd find any reason not to believe it, because that is a coping mechanism for a reality in which you can't control what happens to you or how people see you. I'm trying to drill it in your head Nona, that literally no one will ever be able to convince you that you are a woman but yourself. You have to find that within. You are so fucking young. 19 is a child still, I promise. You have time to figure things out, just actually try, don't give up on mental health treatments because things get harder every now and then. Life is a rollercoaster, but with the right help and the right attitude, it is so much more manageable and enjoyable. Genuinely, life is glorious, Nona.

this thread is not good for my mental health... mein gott.

>>41447666
stop acting like you know me. I've also been in and out of crisis units and I have been on suicide watch for years. I have been in intensive outpatient therapy. I don't understand why you keep telling me that posting online abt my suicide ideation won't make me happy. I know this. I'm not trying to fix my life here, i know its technically possible to be happy and not pass but I don't want that life. I just wanted to talk to someone about it before I won't be able to anymore. I've already made up my mind and this sigma grindset motivational quotes approach won't fix that.

Maybe I am pathetic or a loser or something for this, I probably am, really. Maybe I could put in the work to be happy if I just looked for a better therapist and took responsibility and worked on myself, but at this point I just don't really care anymore.

I'm glad you're happy now though and I mean that.

>>41446539 (OP)
>'Oh no I'm such a hon oh I should have transitioned sooner oh my brow bone'
>look inside
>woman
Seriously, you should be forced to take a test before you call yourself a hon. This is cultural appropriation or some shit.

>>41447746
Just because I don't look like buffalo bill doesn't mean I don't look like a guy. It just means I look like a younger guy.

>>41447746
lmfao I almost choked. But please my cute little hon, be nice, shes young, nigga.

>>41447623
thought this was gman for a second kek

>>41446696
>this is what passes for a brick among youngshits
lmao my ass off in real irl
look up a pick of Clymer sometime

>>41447746
>This is cultural appropriation or some shit.
kekkkk

>>41446961
>have privilege therefore you can never complain ever

>>41447760
I dunno what to tell you mate. You look like a woman. Feels like a waste to be suicidal when you pass. Go see a therapist about it. I'm an actual hon, I don't look anything like that. Bit insulting that you'd act like you can understand it, really.

so this is the aura of a hsts passoid that makes trannies mad, kinda hot.

>>41447406
?

>>41447743
Oh I don't know you? Then why are you still here doing exactly what I said; arguing with everyone who tells you that you look like a woman because you'd rather believe the self-hating lie you told yourself than accept that you have the final say in your happiness?

>>41447838
huh. I dunno, actually. Might be worth reflecting on.

>>41447868
Get off this board and go and talk to real people. You've been blessed with something a lot of us will never have and you want to waste it nitpicking features nobody gives a shit about on a board nobody gives a shit about. I don't know why I even bother repping if actual passoids want to waste their gifts wallowing in insecurity.

>>41447889
>I don't know why I even bother repping
Because you think the exact same way as OP, but you're rationalizing it from the view that "she's prettier than me so she's really the idiot."

>>41447527
>still a woman

Tbh if op posted himself without the dooming everyone would say he's ugly

>>41447909
She's actually a fucking woman. Like, that is functionally identical to a cis girl right there. Transitioned at 16 and everything. It's too late for me. If I transitioned the government would use it as a reason to pass the 'all trannies are legally sex offenders' law.

>>41447945
I'm actually too tired to argue with another person, so just reread all the posts I aimed at OP, but pretend I'm talking to you, because it's the exact same.

t. 6'7" tranny who started at 24 years old

>>41447961
It's irrelevant to the actual discussion anyway. OP if you keep deluding yourself into thinking 'oh no I look like a man' then you'll never be happy. Actual cis girls look more masculine than you. Don't go wasting your good genetics because you got self esteem issues.

>>41448020
It's irrelevant to the discussion, sure, but not your happiness, girl.

>>41446539 (OP)
>confusing breonna taylor for brianna ghey
lol

>>41447527
lol u look like me pre hrt

>>41447961
yk what nona, i'm gonna swallow my pride and thank you. I was going to be an hero tonight but desu arguing with you actually kinda gave me a little space in my own head. Maybe that's why I made this thread all along. I'll try a little harder. Thanks I suppose. I'm sorry for annoying you.

>>41448059
Ftm or mtf

>>41448078
It's fine, you're forgiven. Just don't forget what I've said. Think of me smacking you, metaphorically (or literally idc), whenever you wanna tell yourself some bullshit. I know it's not easy, no one is perfect, but we have to keep getting up and trying again.

>>41448090
MTF

>>41448137
>MTF OR FTM?
>BECAUSE YOU LOOK SO FEMALE I can't even tell

>>41448215
kys nigger

>>41447961
>6’7
girl if you don’t suit up for the LA Sparks

>>41448297
Girl, as if I would ever play for LA.

>>41446539 (OP)
There are always people willing and ready to protect the vulnerable. You'll find a good guy who makes you feel good about yourself, trust me. You'll be OK. Don't be an idiot and end yourself at 19.

>>41446539 (OP)
And people will clock you yeah, but give it some time. You'll be fine.

>>41446539 (OP)
Put your fingers to your neck, on your pulse. Breath in through your mouth, wait 4 seconds and breath out through your nose.

>>41446539 (OP)
>>41446696
>>41447527
anon i https://litter.catbox.moe/p3us0c6a9doqngcz.mp3

>>41448332
okay so suit up for the chicago sky or the indiana fever, point is the wnba needs to protecting the rim

>>41447406
How do i give my disc to u without saying it in public where a ton of strangers can see it. Or are u baiting. Sorry am sperg

>>41448137
Thats not a compliment :| im on hrt

>>41448369
Ik bc people have been clocking me so

>>41448664
What?

>>41448905
I've been on hrt for like 4 years. Idk what could work anymore genuinely

>>41446696
You pass some women just look like that dawg transitioning doesnt guarantee you’ll turn into your ideal woman

>>41448905
I have dated biological women who, probably, look more masculine than you. Quiet those brainworms and don't hurt yourself.

OP doesnt want to look like a woman, OP wants to be a pretty woman and thats why they are so depressed

OP, if you want to change, get a WGS genetic test, research more about hrt regiments, and get a nose job and a liplift.
If you have been on hrt for so long and since so young, and your breasts are flat, then youre doing something wrong in your regiment

>>41446696
you pass and you're cute

>t. cis female lesbian

>>41450609
:) ty

>>41446696
holy shit dude you look like a fucking male model. you would be so huge in the looksmaxxing community if you never transitioned. i could see it now.. you, on the runway, compared to the likes of Chico and O'Pry. god had big plans for you, bro. he had big plans.. but yours conflicted with His.... this is so, so tragic

>>41446824
>Dude I'm 6'
So is Taylor Swift
You can be a tall woman and be loved
Do you go out and talk to people at all?

>>41446696
Suburban mom

realistically most people just see ugly women as trannies and vice versa. you don't look like a man, you look like an ugly woman

>>41446696
why you got the ashley graham fit on quit playing video games nigga

>>41447527
yeah this is quite dire
sorry you're getting hugboxed so bad

>>41453408
its a halloween costume oml i only said that 300 times

>>41452764
I'd rather be ugly and a girl than a dude and hot. you're not convincing me.

>>41453435
is it like, salvageable?

>>41446539 (OP)
voice train faggot

>>41453708
i have yes