Thread 41556915

How do you convince someone not to kill themselves online?

>>41556915 (OP)
Is that Anchorage, Alaska?

>>41556915 (OP)
you don't. just tell them to think about it. if they did think about and they decided that they want to die then they should do as they please.

maybe solve their fucking problems instead of offering empty words of self-assurance? and if you can't, just step aside

>>41556915 (OP)
>>41556970
Also to answer your question I think you gotta listen a bit and not be dismissive but also not affirm their desire at the same time. Don't tell someone who is talking about this or that thing being wrong with their life that they have a chemical imbalance and need to be on medication unless you're a licensed psychiatrist. Life isn't fair and a lot of shitty things happen but unless you're like enslaved and doing forced labor you can find something worth existing for someday. I don't know it's pretty hard to talk people down but realistically unless they have a 12 gauge shotgun they're going to pussy out because the body wants to live no matter how miserable the mind feels.

anyone when remember when that Slovenian guy tried to kill himself on a livestream on here?

>>41557030
>>41556972
I shouldn’t have expected any less from here. I’m just in a bad state rn I really care for them. I don’t know what to do

As a mandated reporter I have to call the cops to go shoot them at home for threatening such an act.

>>41557079
if you think they cant make decisions for themselves, call an ambulance. if they are of sound mind, talk to them and if they decide that they want to do it then they should be able to do it.

if theyre suffering then they should be able to kill themselves. its their right to do so.

>>41557079
If its caused by their current environment then you need to draw attention to that and work on how they can get out of it.

>>41557079
Are they a tranny? What specifically is going on? I mean you don't have to be super detailed but idk specifics would help

>>41556915 (OP)
As someone who barely survived trying to kill myself a week ago
>>41557109
This is the best reply so far, feeling like you have no other way out of your misery or horrible life than suicide makes you feel like a volatile cornered animal and I had a lot of good talks about what lead up things and changing my circumstances with my friends and therapist after the fact. Sometimes it's not that the individual is doing something wrong so it sucks to hear you just need to lock in and cope better and if anything I became suicidally frustrated my efforts alone couldn't fix my life. It can be circumstances a lot of the time

>>41557138
Yes they are. I don’t want to be super detailed I just don’t know man. Christ I hope everything I’ll be fine

>>41557154
Maybe they are reading this thread. Please give her advice

>>41557176
I don't know her circumstances, but for me what is helping to not try to kill myself again is to imagine a future in which I don't want to kill myself and break that down into smaller and smaller steps that are bite sized in compared to the giant and daunting task of "fix my entire life and get happy." It also helps because I can look at and do the things I can work on now in the short term to pass the time in between waiting for long term things out of my control to happen, like re starting hormones or getting the surgeries I need (lack of control and being on other peoples timing is a huge stressor for me). It can be really hard to look toward a happy future for me, its a lot easier to be motivated by small short term tasks that are in sight to tide me over.
I hope you and your friend will be okay, let's all become happy <3

>>41556915 (OP)
>>41556972
>>41557030
>>41557032
>>41557154
Shit, I’m actually trying to convince someone to kill themselves online. Any tips and tricks? Maybe a tutorial?

>>41557246
I’m fine anon. Thank you for your concern

>>41557079
Just make sure the aren't doing anything impulsive, fucked up sui attempts are worse than anything
>>41557103
>call an ambulance
yeah and cause this to happen >>41557083

>>41556915 (OP)
go hang out with them irl

>>41556915 (OP)
YMMV between person to person. Sometimes they just want someone to listen and take them seriously (vent). Other times they’re in a lot of distress, pain and they’re considering suicide because it really feels like they have no other option to escape the hell they’re dealing with everyday. Sometimes you can help by going over and bring food, doing a few chores for them. Sometimes they just don’t actually want to be helped. But listening to them and letting them vent statistically reduces their likelihood of suicide by like 60-80%.

Most importantly; you can’t be the person who decides if they live or die. If someone is seriously determined, they will find a way to go through and execute it. You have to be at peace with that. Being another person who is panicking or hysterical for them, does not help them. Obviously if they’re on the phone with you stating they just overdosed on something, always call an ambulance. But if they haven’t crossed the line, calling emergency services on them 9/10 won’t do anything other than piss them off and instill distrust in them.

Post crisis, you need to encourage them to see a therapist at every opportunity and probably one for yourself too.

>>41558817
I just know her from discord. She has been so good to me and I can’t even help her in anyway. I don’t know what to do I don’t want her to die but I can’t to do anything.

>>41558853
Just offer for her to vent to you, and maybe advice (if you have any that are reasonable for her situation), and that’s about all you can do. Professional crisis handlers or mandatory reporters would just take it to the extreme: call 911, let them handle it, and be disconnected. But inexperienced people get panicky and tend to latch on to the person or attempt to do anything to try and prevent their friend’s suicide. I think you can really only approach at a middle ground of these extremes; show that you do care, interested in helping, be an ear for them to talk to, but also not let it consume you. We’re not going to imprison someone for “their own safety”, no one wants that. At best we just offer help and a warm place for them to stay.

>>41558888
I can’t offer a lot of those things… we are fully online… I just don’t know what to do. I need to relax for a bit and be on a better state of mind

>>41557083
Mandated reporting is why I'll never, ever get therapy. Even if I'm not going to kill myself or haven't done anything wrong, the fact that "suspicions" are grounds for reporting here without any actual confirmation just wreaks havoc with my anxiety, and I know I can't handle being institutionalised.

people should have a right to kill themselves for any reason if they want to.
i believe very strongly in the right to live (free healthcare etc) and the right to die (hang myself if i want to)

>>41559445
I’ve been institutionalized and gone through about 50 therapists throughout my life, as well as constantly feared mandatory reporting (I’m still on edge about reporters); but mandatory reporting isn’t as immediate a threat. It’s systemically a therapist’s nuclear option after trying everything else (and most default to discontinue future sessions instead of resorting to calling 50/51). They literally do not call emergency services when you say you’re suicidal, or even when you tell them you’ve been fantasizing how you might end it all. It’s only when you openly, seriously state that you are going to go through with killing yourself either at that moment (gun to your head, rope around your neck), or convince them you’re going to the store to pick up supplies to end yourself, at the end of your talk.

The whole point of a therapist and therapy is to be able to create an environment where you can open up, express how suicidal you are, why, and explore ways that you two can slowly take steps back from going through with killing yourself. I went through so many shitty therapists but I met one that just knew exactly what I needed to hear, and always helped calm me down from my crisis. I care deeply about her just as she did for my safety and pursuit towards stability (platonically) and I told her how hesitant I kept feeling talking about suicide because I’m traumatized being institutionalized over it. But she created a safe environment for me to just say how Id plan to take my own life, or when I was in overwhelming amount of pain and didn’t want to participate waking up just to deal with more distress. And she always promised me that although she is a mandatory reporter, she would always attempt to give me as much opportunity as possible to be made aware if she felt convinced she needed to call emergency services, or ample time to take a moment and use my breathing exercises to help calm down from an anxiety attack. Therapy can help.

>>41557079
Sorry, the mind hacks to prevent suicides are strictly regulated. We can't just hand them out willy nilly or people might stop killing themselves.

>>41560037
>I told her how hesitant I kept feeling talking about suicide because I’m traumatized being institutionalized over it
even the person defending it confirms it will happen if you open up about it.
that's the thing, it gives them power over you, which you wouldn't willingly do unless you're in a dire situation which forces them to act on that power meaning if you're desperate enough to ask for help, fucking you over is about the only option they will consider until you trial and error your way to one that sees this has happened to you multiple times, so maybe they can try something other than locking you up and dosing you "for your own safety".
The suicidal are the sane ones.

>>41556915 (OP)
tell her about all the ways in which it can and is likely to go wrong, scares the shit out of me personally at least and is the only reason i'm still alive

>>41560037
damn they really did brainwash you into this didn't they

>>41560037
>They literally do not call emergency services when you say you’re suicidal, or even when you tell them you’ve been fantasizing how you might end it all.
Then how did you get institutionalized? Also I'm not only worried about them reacting to SI. I have other issues. Sometimes it feels like therapy is just for middle class women with mild anxiety and if you have anything serious they'll treat you like a scary freak that needs to be pawned off to quasi prison. Most therapists I've seen are just fake happy normoids that couldn't even explain what their legal responsibilities are.

>>41556915 (OP)
Remind them how pretty the world can be.

>>41560276
Gloating over the death of a teenager is pretty low

>>41560308
you expect these subhumans to not be low? they do not even deserve the (You)s.

>>41560308
Trans folx aren't human.

>>41560387
Neither are republicans

>>41556970
It is Anchorage and I'm pretty sure I know exactly when it was taken. It's from like 2012 when the USS Anchorage came up here. I know this because I was like 10 at the time and I toured the boat with my family.

>>41556915 (OP)
are you fucking gangstalking me, trying to tell me that I shouldnt kill myself by posting this thread with a pic of my hometown. because don't worry, i probably wont kms even if i threaten to constantly.

>>41560183
>>41560228
>>41560265
I got institutionalized when my IRL friends found me overdosing and called an ambulance on me. Not even my therapist at the time was the one who reported me even when I threatened I’d kill myself multiple times the weeks leading up to it.

>fucking you over is the only option therapist consider
you illiterate dumbass, I just told you it’s not their go to 1st response, and that they subtly give you the option to stop sharing, and it’s only if you very boldly and clearly state you have a plan and are going through it like at that moment, you twat.

>really brainwashed you
I still value having the freedom to take your own life (just only when it’s absolutely necessary and after every other option has been exhausted: therapy, drugs, changing my life, etc). I think it’s monsterous that mental hospitals can take that freedom away because you feel so helpless and at their mercy unable to leave, but you can play their game (show you’re “improving”, work towards discharge).

But the people I met at “happy jail” definitely needed to be there (schizophrenics, people attempting suicide as a 1st option instead of the last), and it’s hypocritical for me to say “I don’t belong there” but I don’t hear voices, fantasize delusions of grandeur, or experience warped reality. I literally just do not want to be homeless or go to a men’s prison if I committed a crime. I even made most of my time inside the ward by helping the other inmates talk their shit through or learn something new, studying, exercising, dieting (the food was surprisingly a lot better than you think). The most of my anxiety in there was the threat of being heavily medicated as some of the others (they were like zombies) and being in essentially a prison. But I got out, so obviously that’s not a problem now.

>therapy is just for white women
No. That’s like a stereotyped media version of what you’re thinking.
(1/2)

>>41560265
>>41562145
(2/2)
Therapist study for their masters in psychology to help heal people struggling with mental issues (stress, anxiety, depression, anger issues, trauma, etc) much like how a doctor studies medicine to treat the body physically. Some people’s brains literally can’t produce the normal amount of serotonin so anti-depressants are an actual life saver against depression/suicide. Having “serious issues” is why their job exist; they want to help people. They’re aware people are terrified to reach out due to threats of mandatory reporting so they have to compromise with their patients when approaching, and being honest with you when they may resort to that (I talked to every therapist about this because it was my #1 concern about opening up), and to my surprise they worked with me.

>most therapists are fake
yeah a lot of them are really shit at their job or more typically, they’re a bad fit. You have to find a therapist that just “gets you”; knows how to talk to you, what you need to hear, what tools can or can’t work for you, and show compassion to you when you’re suicidal. You have to trial & error until you find one that works. It sucks and it’s frustrating and even more depressing everytime you waste time with a bad fit. But when you find one that fits it’s such a weight off the shoulders, and you don’t feel like you’re tackling your problems alone anymore.

>>41556915 (OP)
>How do you convince someone not to kill themselves online?
They first need to convince themselves that suicide is the answer.
The funny thing is that they can't.
They can't rationalize their sorrow, their desire for death.
Their actions are dictated by mood, they are whores to their emotions.
If they can't rationalize that, you won't be able to rationalize a counterargument.

If they really had a reason to kill themselves, you'd the first one to pull the trigger, maybe even with the barrel pointing towards (You).

>>41562145
>therapy is just for white women
>No. That’s like a stereotyped media version of what you’re thinking.
I said middle class, not white. My last therapist hated white people desu. Like not even "I acknowledge indigenous people" at the start of the session or whatever, just literally told me I don't belong in this country. Most of them are dogshit with trans people, too.
Anyway, unlike the other two posters, I'm not going to write you off as "brainwashed". Therapy does help some people. Sounds like it helped you after a long time. But I've never seen someone with issues as bad as mine get helped, despite "go to therapy" being the default handwave for peers in your life who don't really care and just want you to be fixed (almost everyone).
>and that they subtly give you the option to stop sharing
Are neurodivergent people supposed to be good at reading subtlety? The fact that you're supposed to share less information just makes it less effective.
>Therapist study for their masters in psychology to help heal people struggling with mental issues (stress, anxiety, depression, anger issues, trauma, etc) much like how a doctor studies medicine to treat the body physically
Doctors rarely get freaked out and refuse to help people because of issues they see. They don't turn physical sickness into character assassinations. I've read comments from therapists online, too. If you have certain issues like BPD they've basically already made up their mind that you're beyond help, let alone other things.
>Some people’s brains literally can’t produce the normal amount of serotonin so anti-depressants are an actual life saver against depression/suicide
Not against meds although I think they're kind of sad.
>It sucks and it’s frustrating and even more depressing everytime you waste time with a bad fit
It's not just a waste of time, it's a risk.

>>41562601
>therapist that tells you you don’t belong
An awful fucking therapist who Id cease seeing and find another.
>Most are dogshit with trans people
Yes, you have to search therapists that have a profile involving LGBT to begin with (or the specific stuff you’re dealing with: trauma, depression, etc)
>never seen someone such as myself get help
Like I said, not every therapist is a good fit, it’s a lot of trial & error and putting in the effort to try the stuff they suggested for me. A lot of it didn’t work, but it takes time to find the stuff that does.
>peers hand wave you to a therapist
because the average person doesn’t really know how to help someone that is suicidal and that the go to for said people is to get the suicidal person into therapy so that the underlying causes can be addressed and remedied as best as possible. People who try to help suicidal friends often say the wrong thing and make matters worse, or they themselves burn out and are now struggling mentally. It’s not easy for people to just be able to have the right answer, it’s why there’s a whole field of study around it.
>are neurodivergent people supposed to be good at reading subtly
no, I was and still am awful at it. It’s more like my therapist is verbally telling me “hey it sounds like you’re not just considering suicide but are planning to go through it tonight, I just want to politely remind you I’m a mandatory reporter” and then that gives me the space to say something else to basically not force her to report me for what I shared with her: “i’m maybe planning tonight, but I also plan to be at our next session” was sufficient for my case.
>therapists that refuse to take on BPD patients
yeah those exist and it made sense when i talked about it with a handful of them; it just really takes a therapist that is built with that level of patience and expectation that their patient on whom may just discard everything the two of you have worked on for years

>>41560037
i went to countless therapists and psychiatrists and i never managed to open up even a little about my problems of being a tranny and suicidal :(
im just wayy to scared of being institutionalized while diying meaning i wont be able to take e anymore and possibly being outed to my parents
im sorry nona for you i hope youre doing well now

>>41563275
I appreciate the support and warm response. I’m at least not homeless and am able to eat (despite SNAP self-destructing), while I also work on supporting myself again.

>way too scared of being institutionalized for doing DIY
If it helps, I was DIY before I was able to go the legal route. I was upfront with both my endocrinologist/doctors and therapist and they were open to still treating me as I worked towards being able to access HRT legitimately. ymmv, some doctors will just state they can’t treat you while they know you’re DIY as it’s a liability with their medical license, rather than mandatory reporting. And if you’re in America, you can’t exactly just be institutionalized without reasonable cause of safety (proven attempts, evidence you have the means to harm yourself), for mandatory reporting to work. I was about to go to court over being sent to the ward, but they technically had enough to win that case as I not only had multiple attempts recorded, was currently hospitalized due to an attempt and had means to continue trying. They really have to be prepared to convince a court otherwise they can at best hold you up to *72 hrs (depending on state).

>being outted to parents
oh yeah fuck that, i’d recommend only doing that when you are able to support yourself. too often they respond emotionally and try to kick queers out. But i hope the best for you too nona

>>41562765
Not every therapist is a good fit since most are awful. I have also seen countless stories elsewhere where someones therapist or a helpline therapist called police to have them institutionalized over feelings that had no plan let alone actively threatening. These are mostly in America.
You have to be so careful. Especially with helplines where they know or can get your address.

>>41556915 (OP)
>How do you convince someone not to kill themselves online?
Take away their computer so they can't get online to kill themselves.

>>41556915 (OP)
tell them to go for a walk and smoke a joint

>>41563732
thank you and goodluck working on yourself :) you sound positive and great you will make it
and if i do open up ill instantly be sent to forced mental ward whatever where i of course cant diy and regardless im not american so most doctors and therapits are way less trans positive
thank you nona

>>41563797
>helplines
never again. I’ve tried using those multiple times: trans helpline, suicide helpline, and they were so god damn terrible at their job. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did have trigger finger for calling emergency services on the caller. They’re best use is just to have someone you can immediately talk at, but again, do risk the possibility of them calling the cops.

>>41564361
From transphobe perspective: At the press of a button I can convert this tranny's surgery savings into psych ward medical debt so she kills herself. And being trans is seen as mental disorder so she cant talk her way out of it.
Doctors all shaking hands patting each other on the back for having achieved this efficiency. Fuck them.

>>41564055
You dont need to be so harsh on them :/

>>41566768
I don’t think they were being harsh or anything, just english second language. She’s at an unfair disadvantage given her country (I’m assuming) but can still wish each other the best.