Thread 41601152

I will never look like a normal fucking male and I need to die. I kept coping by going "oh doctors know" than I went "oh but I can fix it" bullshit. I can't lie to myself anymore, I am fucked. I will never be a normal fucking male. I will never be someone people admire or look up to. I am always going to be the freak people look at to feel better about themselves. Everyone will always tell and that shit will be carved in me for the rest of my life. I wish I could just find someone to kill me. Not because I am scared of doing for myself but because I want to be held before I leave. Ever since I was a kid I had to do everything and I hoped if I tried my best to be a good person and work on myself it would get better. But no. I am a perma pooner. I can't handle being a foid I can't handle knowing that I will never be a normal male. I have been on T for years. I can't handle looking in the mirror. I can't finish the degree I gave my health to enter. I broke. After years and years I think I finally broke. Please just give me fuel so I can do it. Don't give me that "life is important, it can get better" crap. I refuse to live as a pooner. I refuse to look like a fucked up tumor or a skin walker with muscles. I just need to die. Give me fuel or something so I have the balls. I feel so stupid for thinking I could be male.

>>41601152 (OP)
is that joe on the right

>>41601157
With her disgusting "boyfriend" yeah

>>41601167
wait for real? did he detroon? why does he have a girls haircut

>>41601172
Can you get the fuck out of this post unless you are gonna give me a tip to kill myself (have a plan but who knows maybe you know something painless) or tell me to end my pooner existence because everything about me is so clearly female.

>>41601185
are you joe or Joe's "boyfriend"

>>41601192
I look like the "guy" (butch lesbian) with brown hair and round glasses.

>>41601195
I know its cringe but I can't handle living. I need to kill myself their is no way out. But my brain is toxicly positive and thinks things can be fixed if I put in the work. I just need to get shit on so I feel bad enough to do it.

>>41601225
She looks normal but that flesh piece next to her makes me so angry. He isn't a man he is a fucking tomboy and a dyke. I hate trans man, I hate them. I know I am projecting but I don't care. I hate looking like that.

>>41601241
have you tried killing yourself

>>41601245
No, planed. If I go I want their to be no chance of saving me. It gave me a morbid sense of safety to know I could end it. I also had hope but its gone. I will never look male...I think I know the best way to do it. But my head keeps going "no medicine can get better, no you can do peptides, no you can look at AIs, no give your work out more time to pay off...". But it's cope. I will never look male. Everyone will always be able to tell. I will never look like a normal male. I need to stop coping and do what needs to be done.

Is it bad that I want to post my death so it means something? I know freaks online will just jerk off to it or watch it for shock content but it would mean my piece of shit husk flesh had some value. Where would I post if I did that? Guessing one of the other chans right.

>>41601167
hes nice :(

>>41601344
That’s a nice woman. Not a man. I can’t handle looking like that.

some guys use minoxidil to grow beards and facial hair is a common way for guys to hide weak chins and stuff, you could try that

>>41601429
So I can look like a women with a instagram filter? Such a valid dood! If I don’t look like a normal male there is no fucking point. I am fucked hell this just proves it more. Most baseline shit as cope. I don’t need bullshit. Tell me to rope or tell me how to rope. I also take it btw. You aren’t gonna tell me something I don’t know.

>>41601241
CONFOUND THOSE DOVER BOYS
I HATE TOM
I HATE DICK
AND I HATE LARRY

>>41601489
idk before you complain you should try having short hair and growing facial hair, most guys have a pretty low effort appearance

>>41601507
like people literally used to think i looked like a pooner but i was still a mustache guy and managed to fit in with the right winders, I imagine the standards are not high since no one knows ftm's exist

>>41601507
>>41601520
I do both of these things. I clearly look like a female despite it. I have the cartoonishly huge hips. I want to break it with a hammer. People can tell now because everyone is visible. I can tell when I look in the mirror. I hate ftms. Pieces of shit. I look like a theyfab to them, or they just look at me with pity. You can't fix this.

>>41601542
>I do both of these things
NTA, but you clearly completely lack facial hair and have long hair. I really do think it would help you a lot. Your facial structure itself doesn't seem that bad to me? Maybe your hips are unfixably bad, I don't know, but based on how you talk about your face, I'm inclined to think your perspective may be warped at the moment.
>>41601227
>But my brain is toxicly positive and thinks things can be fixed if I put in the work. I just need to get shit on so I feel bad enough to do it.
This board is not as toxic as it was years ago. That's probably a good thing in this case. You could totally be wrong, though, and have a path to being passable but your mental health is so bad you'll kill yourself before you get there. I could not know for sure because this is the first picture I've ever seen of you, and it only shows your face.

i thought like you and then i stopped being retarded, got bigger, got more hobbies to occupy my mind with, got a peggable nerdy bi bf who is autistic about old boomer games(who is also probably a tranny desu) and now idgaf anymore about that shit. all you're going to do is waste years feeling sorry for yourself and then not even kill yourself anyway, so why not try to improve and be happy?

>>41601152 (OP)
You sound like my girlfriend usually I'm a poona hater for shits and giggles but I got reminded of how she was when I met her so I hope you'll learn to accept yourself instead of suicide at least somewhat like she did

same bro, same

>>41601215
Honestly if he just cut his hair he'd look a lot more masculine.

if u wanna be a real man stop whining fucking fag

>>41601639
I copped like that for years. I am not happy. I believed the lala land bullshit and actually liked other trans men. I think I do have the energy to do it. I guess I am yelling cause the pain needs to come out somewhere and this board makes me feel less alone.

>>41601599
That isn't my face. These are my hips. I know I am fucked. People will probably start to notice who I am because of the hips but at this point I don't care. All the other FTMs basically said I was fucked and it wasn't actually fixable. I am a pussy for breaking down. I clearly am just a wombyn who doesn't hit the gym. Recommending anything to take get fucked haha. What's the point in passing if when you take your clothes off all you will see is a female. That I will never get to be a normal guy and show myself to the world with pride because I will be a troon that everyone will point and make fun off. I thought about detransitioning but I can't handle being a foid. I don't care what happens anymore. I don't see a way out.

>>41601803
I want to be a bio male

>>41602925
man is a mindset, i say this as an mtf tranny that still tells people to man the fuck up. I don't care what is in your fucking pants, a man grits his teeth and takes the world as it is and doesn't fucking bitch about it

>>41601688
She didn't expect herself. The pain will carry for the rest of her life. Best she can hope for is emotionally lobotmizing herself and laughing along. But when it's their it's their. That will never go away until you look male. Not like you care though. We're pieces of meat that either get lucky or passed around until the fun ends.

>>41602960
life is hard and stupid but the first thing you should do is stop being such a goddamn pussy, you barely need testosterone to be a man if you can do that

>>41602977
you are a man now, your feelings are not valid, no one wants to hear them. Why is your hair long, are you a fucking fag? Nice nose ring queer.

>>41602960
>>41602977
I just have physical dysphoria. Brain shit is cope. Look at my fucking hips. That's years on T. Men also have extremely high suicide rates because of that bullshits. Years of gay ass hope and pushing forward only to end up like this. Years of lifting others up only to turn into a bitch with POCs. I have lost all empathy towards FTMs. I just hate them ass a group. I am fine with trans women but I hate ftms.

>>41602995
That isn't me. No man including cis men should be treated like this.

>>41603009
I get that, but you need to man the fuck up because you still have the fashion sense of a fag/women, your body literally could be that of a teenager.

Now you listen to me, men see manhood as a thing to be earned even for other biomen and I don't see why you are any exception. If you want to express yourself, from now on it has to be veiled in humor.

>>41603056
Men see getting shit done and hardship as points of pride, and feelings as weakness. You don't want to be weak, it doesn't always feel great but you know as someone going the other way I still have an appreciation for it.

>>41603070
the best part of it imo is it can turn any existential crisis into a dull anger, if you want to be a man this is what can get you through life

>>41603056
I dress in baggy clothes because my body makes me want to vomit. I don't want to ever show it irl. I don't do makeup. I don't have piercings. I have lost all my love and passion only to look like a troon. If I am clocked whats the point. Your looks are what get you treatment in this hell hole. I can be "manly" all I want but I will never be male. I don't care what happens to this husk. You talking like this proves that I am fucked. My t gf said I have the hips mtfs would die for. I wanted to vomit, I want to starve away any existing sex characteristics. I don't want to look like a short muscle freak. I will never be a normal male. Being a man is just cope. Fucking AFABs just including me in their cult by force anyway before realizing I hate them.

>>41603109
you literally just look like a big assed dude, maybe other guys would tease you for it but depending on how your face is that is not what is screwing you over

>>41603095
>>41603070
What the fuck is wrong with you people? They shouldn't and that's bad. I don't want cis men to do that shit. I want them to be happy. I guess deep down I want that for FTMs too but I feel nothing but pain, it has been an issue for months. I tried to detransition it felt bad but I think I can numb myself more and more to the pain at this point. Thought I could save my relationship with my gf but that's a bust. I will never be a doctor, I will never have a well paying job, men and women will never see me as an attractive male. Better to just make an exist with the gas I stored up or just take drugs so I can tolerate being a disgusting female.

>>41601152 (OP)
80% of cis men are total basedjack male-fails, and you had the audacity to think you could be one of the chads.

You were playing life on tutorial mode and as soon as you had a taste of the male experience you bitched out. Pathetic! You will always be a foid.

>>41603174
men are happy, its weird to describe but I think (we?) like to "disable" higher emotions and exist on a simpler level. It leaves unawnsered questions, but day to day it can be wonderful. You still get to open up with your close friends/dad, usually its a bit humorous but very genuine.

I think my view of it is a little tainted because I had to repress being a tranny the whole time, but I don't think its bad, maybe harsh but can be very good.

>>41603198
I honestly miss it a little, when the big scary questions of life came up I could defeat them with a funny quip in my head.

>>41603162
My fellow FTMs told me how I am fucked and you can clearly tell my bones are female. Love them! Great people. This one guy gave a very detailed explanation as to why they looked female which was helpful. Other dudes gave work out names and I guess I should be glad they were honest and told me I will always be a foid. I just thought if I did the right things, exercised, took peptides, lost weight, etc...I would be okay. I want to believe it will be okay. I want to keep going but I feel mentally ill for thinking that. It was clearly over before it began and everyone knew.

>>41601167
I thought this was a lesbian (transbian on the left butch cisles on the right) couple. Looking grim.
Then again, Joe has always been a raped woman.

>>41603198
I really wanted to be a doctor...I gave my everything. My health, my time...everything has gone to work, uni and school. I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Ftms tell me to stop having a bitch fit and explain that I am cooked and should stop being a pussy. My family isn't the best especially my dad, he isn't bad just has issues. If you ask them I am a whiny little loser that needs to grind harder. Pull myself up, be chill even if the world is burning, take what I get and I don't get upset. I am human. Even when I almost got my ass beat in high school my mom called me a tranny and asked me what I expected. When I had episodes and broke down she would say I was a confused girl before telling me to stop crying like a little bitch. I just don't have empathy or hope anymore for pretty much anyone. If I don't look male I don't want to live. I wish I could repress but they secretly found out and I have been dealing with it ever since. I don't just feel tired, I genuinely lost all hope. I am sick of being the troon other ftms look at and laugh or look at and feel happy they don't look like.

>>41603286
Joe looks like a butch wrestler. The thing on the right is a cisles butch lesbian though. Imagine saying you are a man while looking like that.

>>41603323
maybe i don't know how to clock ftm's but you look fine

>>41603347
Do you not know who Joe is? I'm talking about the woman on the right. That's Joe.

>>41603350
I don't know if it's cope but I feel better talking to trans women than other FTMs. I also think it's better when MTFs talk to other FTMs since we both have a better view of the opposite sex. I thought I could go for the MCR build since his face is kind of like mine and bro has thick thighs but I guess my ribcage is fucked. I just want to look like a normal male...I don't even care if its short, fat, etc...I think I could find I way to put myself out their in a good way. I think everyone can be beautiful. Hell I didn't used to think clocky trans men looked bad before I released what they thought of me and how I was doomed. All of this hate just collected over the years. I see how people look at me with disgust, like I am subhuman. Knowing that I will not only look like a female but that I will never be a good looking man people look at with confidence has just made me give up.

>>41602911
at least you dont look like me anon

>>41603009
>I am fine with trans women but I hate ftms.
BAYSED

>>41603382
No, honestly she just looks like a normal masculine women to me.

>>41603426
You look like the thinspo threads cis women spam, shut up. Also yeah trans women deserve love and will be fine. Trans men are the worst of both worlds, no one will love us unless were turbo luckshits and we need to die.

>>41603426
i'd like to fuck you sexsexsex
cut marks are cringe though

>>41603426
You have such a straight looking body, you are a dumbass repper
>>41602911
You'd probably look fine if you gained a bunch of weight in fat and muscle. I'm MTF but I used to be "gym fat," pre-HRT definitely had ab muscle but also fat on my midsection, and thought my torso would never have any curve but it has a bit more than I thought after losing all of it and going anorexic. So you probably would work going the other way.

>>41603382
What are you talking about anon

>>41601152 (OP)
If you are the left one you are an idiot for throwing this away. If you are the right one then it is unfortunate, you'd go from 5/10 female to 1/10 male

>>41603482
OP is neither of them but claims to resemble the one on the left, but with more facial hair apparently. This (>>41602911) is the only picture he posted of himself.

>>41603487
>the one on the left
the one on the right I mean, bad typo

>>41603323
Take a deep breath anon. I know things seem really bad right now but everything is going to be okay, I promise. I'm sorry to hear that your mom treated you like that, that's not okay and you deserved better. You deserve to love yourself and give yourself the future the child you would always have dreamed of. I'm proud of you anon, I find it super impressive that you studied hard in medicine. That's an important career path and you will make a lot of people happy. You're important and you matter, anon.
>>41603253
Don't live your life for other people, live your life for yourself.

>>41603447
>You look like the thinspo threads cis women spam
HAHAHHAHAHA

>>41603450
>cut marks are cringe though
i just carved someones name on my leg and you can kinda see it on the right LOLOL

>i'd like to fuck you
but no sadly i think i will probably die a virgin

>>41603455
straight as in shape or do i look that much like a straight female smhead....

>>41603482
I look like the one on the right with facial hair. I wish I could not have dysphoria love being reminded I am a women with POCs but sucks to suck.

>>41601152 (OP)
Why can't OP even show their own face and body, fembrained af, even the trans girls have the courage to post themselves most the time.

>>41603455
The ED gym twinks starve while also training. I think the major issue is the inner fat and if I work the hell out of my core it will look good. But I don't know if that is cope. I took this pick a week ago and lost around 5kg. Short guys usually look worse if they put on too much muscle. So I thought I lean look was the way to go. Man idk, are the FTMs right for saying I am fucked but should still hit the gym. I don't just want to pass while looking like an ugly bastard. I want to look in the mirror and like the face I see. Feel like its actually mine this time.

>>41603578
Nobody should post their irl face on 4chan. Great way to get spread around the internet.

>>41603578
Posting your face seems more fembrained to me

>>41601157
>>41601167
>>41601172
No, that's not me. I don't think I've ever been in a photo with a cute trans girl before unfortunately
>>41601344
Hey

>>41601152 (OP)
If you arn't 6 feet and over you arn't a man anyway, doesn't matter what else you look like.

>>41603619
Short kings are still kings. I like short men and people who don't can't think for themselves or they don't have taste.

>>41603657
Cope
Everyone laughs at short-cels
Maybe you can get away with it as a ftm because no one sees you as a man anyway.

>>41603507
>straight as in shape or do i look that much like a straight female smhead....
Straight as in shape
>>41603583
>The ED gym twinks starve while also training. I think the major issue is the inner fat and if I work the hell out of my core it will look good. But I don't know if that is cope. I took this pick a week ago and lost around 5kg
You shouldn't starve while hitting the gym if you need to build muscle. You should eat a lot, ideally healthy food, and never lose weight while putting on muscle. Getting fat is fine because you can cut later while still working out, but only do that when you've actually gained muscle first.
>Man idk, are the FTMs right for saying I am fucked but should still hit the gym
I guess I wouldn't know as much about whether you're fucked or not, because I'm going the other way, but I think you'd look fine after hitting the gym for a year.
>I don't just want to pass while looking like an ugly bastard
No? Isn't that better than not passing and still hating your own reflection?

>>41603688
>Straight as in shape
this is such a cope can you not see the curve its literally right there

>>41603711
You have no curves you dumb bitch. I don't care about your trans/repping nonsense but you dont have a sexy foid body so its useless posting it

>>41603599
Its not 2011 anymore! Half the people WISH their face would spread around the internet!

>>41603711
What curve there is, is literally miniscule

>>41603716
>you dont have a sexy foid body
bitch

>>41603719
its still bad because my ribcage is smaller than my hips and it will never be fixed

>>41603764
>and it will never be fixed
No, you're just a helpless retard who won't work out

>>41603764
>its still bad because my ribcage is smaller than my hips and it will never be fixed
Barely. I don't even think this is outside of the range of how someone AMAB might be born.

>>41603777
working out only changes your appearance not the shape of your bones cunt

>>41603426
>self harm scars
You're such a woman it's unbelievable. Take antipsychotics.

Life, is gay and retarded.
Therefore I am,
Gay and retarded.

>>41603426
arent u a femrepper?
im p sure i have wider hips than you (wider ribcage too but thats obvious) and im mtf

>>41603837
I am reminded of this person on mtfg complaining about their body a few weeks ago.
https://archived.moe/lgbt/thread/41337866/#41358710
Hips only barely wider than the rib cage, like jarb's body. Very little curvature at all, like jarb. Of course it looks like she has a wider rib cage in the first place, too, which itself is more masculine, but still. Having slightly wider hips than the rib cage is not going to mark you as female or anything.

I’m really worried about you. You matter to me, and I want you to stay safe.

>>41603846
Your bones don't matter when you get your core and back huge. As I said, you'd rather mope and whine than do something to change your situation

>>41603426
we need to be a rep couple

>>41601152 (OP)
Then you fight to destroy the system that destroyed your life so it doesn't hurt anyone else. "Trans" is a lie, speak the truth.

>>41601152 (OP)
You're pathetic, man. You're wrong in the head and trying to get permission to die. You're not in a state where you can think much less act logically, and no matter what anyone tells you it won't be satisfactory. Have the decency of turning yourself in to the hospital and say you're severely suicidal, they might get you a free therapist for a session or two. Otherwise, overdose on a medicine of your choice (preferably sleeping pills, others hurt like a bitch) or get cutting (burns like a motherfucker).

>>41602863
i'll be real with you. this board is a shithole that will drag you down into worse places. there is no brotherhood here; this is a place where shitting on each other's appearances is normalized when anywhere else you'd be considered a piece of shit for doing so. people have been brainwashed into thinking it's just 'being brutally honest" when it's, a majority of the time, coming from people who need excuses to not hate themselves a little bit less. i haven't visited here in years and i've been so much happier. the pain of dysphoria is still there a little but it became easier to deal with. unironically holding on to hope and trying to accept yourself is infinitely better than self-inflicting emotional pain by visiting 4chan. and ditch your gf who tells you shit like you have hips to die for. you can find someone better. you have a lot to be proud of already with all the effort you've put into work and school.

i'm sorry that you carry this pain with you. being a man doesn't mean you have to "suck it up" and never say how you feel. that's how you become an alchoholic. it's 2025 and dudes talk to each other about shit now. you just gotta find people who aren't trash. pretty hard sometimes, yeah. that's why you got to be there for yourself first. be in your corner even if nobody else is right now. there is a comfort in knowing that you will always have yourself through everything.

>>41603617
>>41603460
you look good! i'd let you take lots and lots and lots of couple photos if i wasn't an ocean removed.

>>41603617
i was referring to the guy in op picture, we're twitter mutuals i think

but youre very likable too hi!

>>41603686
I never did when I was a cis woman. Self inflicted cope or you like shitty women.

>>41604396
I did. They saw me as a crazy femoid and left me in the wait room for 2 days. I bought gas to do it. I keep looking at it but I turn back because I don't want to traumatize anyone. Gonna clean my room. I wish I got on hrt sooner. Their was a over population problem anyway.

>>41604626
I used to think this. I can't except being female. I will never be equal to cis people. I am a perma pooner and a freak, I am less than human. I got on here a month ago because everyone just hug boxes me and lies. I can see how I am treated differently. Only choice in life you can make is killing yourself. My parents will probably blame me for not trying enough and liking misery. I don't care what they feel. I feel bad for my friends but they will get over it. I thought I could be human and something more than a transvestite.

>>41605134
overpopulation is a hilariously bad myth, there's an overcrowding problem in certain regions because infinite niggers and jeets
now purporting THAT myth is feminine as fuck. you cant be a man and believe that commie jewish garbage

Poon

>>41601157
>>41601167
that's sabre, who tf is joe?

>>41609720
Joe mama

>>41601152 (OP)
this shit was definitely written by a man