Thread 41606672

I'm not referring to reading about other people's dysphoria. That's easy to understand and empathize with.
I just don't understand where I'm supposed to draw the line when it comes to my own distaste towards my birth sex.
I don't like being a man, I don't like socializing as a man, I don't like being perceived as a man, I don't like my facial hair, I don't like having rough and oily skin, I don't like being hairy, I don't like my genitals. It not extremely detrimental to my life, but it all feels like something I have to tolerate and put up with.
Despite all that, I can't help but feel like the alternative would make me genuinely gender dysphoric. That transitioning would feel wrong on a fundamental level, and that there's no escape from being a man. So I feel trapped with something I hate, while it still feels like the only viable option. That makes me believe that my hatred towards being a man isn't actual gender dysphoria, yet it's still something I can't get rid of.
Is there any way I can just get over it all? Could therapy actually help, or will it be a waste of time?

sybau nice pic doe

>>41606672 (OP)
I was like you took estrogen and it does indeed feel wrong at a fundamental level. But at the same time I don’t want to kms when I look in the mirror anymore which makes it hard to quit. talking to someone would probably help but I’m way too ashamed to talk to a therapist about gender stuff

>>41606759
I took estrogen as well, but stopped because it was driving me crazy how fundamentally wrong it all felt, despite wanting to want all it's effects. I don't even want to kms when looking in the mirror, since I'm still kinda androgynous. Still want to kms though because I can't stand myself own existence. I feel like I'm carrying a corpse around

>>41606711
I'm serious. There must be some way to define hatred of one's own birth sex without it being gender dysphoria, and I wish to get rid of it in any way possible

why cant you just be a theymab? or take estrogen without transitioning?

>>41607004
Being a theymab is still being a man, just more faggy, so worse overall. Taking estrogen without transitioning is not a viable option because it'll make me look like a woman, and I couldn't be one even if I wanted to be

>>41607131
well idk? tough luck all of us are restricted by our biology. your best option is either to be something like an hrt manmoder (which if you end up passable enough might lead to you being a tranny anyway) or a hyperfeminine man who does skincare and shaves and depending on how you feel about your genitals maybe even gets srs.

>>41607163
I know I couldn't manmode, since I passed pre-hrt, but that doesn't mean that I won't look uncanny if I were to be on hrt. I also have little to no interest in being feminine, especially as a man, since any effort put into it will just look horrible when contrasted by what testosterone will do to me. I know I'm basically just whining at this point, but my intention was to highlight how all options feel horrible

>>41606672 (OP)
take your HRT, retard

>>41607520
What if it made me reverse dysphoric? Like genuine reverse dysphoria, where I started getting panic attacks at the changes and wanting them gone, even if I thought I would enjoy them?

>>41607636
might happen, especially because you realize other people can see them too and maybe tell what you are

>>41607645
It has already happened. I've detransed because I felt horrible on hrt, and now I'm back to normal male levels of testosterone, and I definitely feel more normal, but still hate it. I'm disgusted by the fact that I really am most likely just a cis man

>>41607734
I think you're just a normal mtf who got scared and couldn't cope, it's really common

>>41607742
I'm definitely not normal. It's not normal for a mtf for dysphoria to suddenly start at 20. It's not normal for a mtf to feel like being a woman is undesirable. It's not normal to feel like I can still easily like being a man, if I would just change my mindset slightly.

>>41607826
you people come from a factory I swear, you all sound the same
shut the fuck up, get back on HRT, and find a therapist

>>41607505
>I passed pre-hrt
call it all off wtf op. unless youre lying about that just get on hrt and stay on it, especially if your biggest fear is looking uncanny. maybe in the first few years sure but trannies looking uncanny is directly proportional to how masculine they look

>>41607840
What do you even mean. I've listed some reasons why it would even be a bad idea to get back on hrt, especially the fact that being a woman feels undesirable to me right now. And I'm certain I felt zero dysphoria prior to it appearing at 20, and that still very mildly. I can still easily look in the mirror, both at my face and body, and all the issues I do have are just pure vanity

>>41607910
>I'm certain I felt zero dysphoria prior to it appearing at 20
lol

>>41607854
With passing I'm mostly referring to male failing. Both men and women have warned me that I was entering the wrong restroom when I went into the male one, without me wearing anything feminine except having my hair tied up in a ponytail and wearing it under a cap.

>>41607920
I was trying to imply that this also means that the "dysphoria" I feel now is actually artificial, and not genuine gender dysphoria. And believe me, I've incessantly looked for signs in the past, and only found one's which point towards me having loved being a guy

>>41607994
>the "dysphoria" I feel now is actually artificial
LMAO

>>41607998
I'd like to see you try to offer any actual arguments as to why you think my judgement to be clouded. If I were dysphoric now, I would genuinely hate being a man, but I only feel like I'm forcing myself to do so

>>41608032
read your own posts back
you are leaning on circular logic to self-sabotage

>>41608040
I'm aware of what I've written in my own post, but I don't believe that what I'm feeling is anything like the dysphoria actual trans people feel like. Immediately after waking up I feel completely fine and happy being a man for example, and only upon the realization that I'm actually not hating anything about it, I start compulsively focusing again on the fact that I'm "supposed" to hate it, which then devolves back into actual hatred

>>41608098
>I don't believe that what I'm feeling is anything like the dysphoria actual trans people feel like
based on what, materially? have you spent any time at all on this board? you have to be being stupid on purpose, like those "TOCD" and "ROGD" types

>>41608113
>based on what, materially?
Based on the fact that I have moments of clarity where I realize I can actually really love being a guy, and that it much more aligns with who I am as a person. These moments are annoyingly fleeting though, and it never takes long where I start becoming uncomfortable with the comfort I feel in being a man.
>have you spent any time at all on this board?
I'd be considered a newfag by 4chan standards, but I've been lurking this board more or less non stop this year.
>you have to be being stupid on purpose
Nope. Just regular stupid, but I also am quite convinced that I'm just extremely mentally ill and not simply trans

>>41608192
>I've been lurking this board more or less non stop this year.
>quite convinced that I'm just extremely mentally ill and not simply trans
get off this board and get help

>>41608206
I've yet to find a gender therapist, and I do really hope they'll be able to help.
Still don't see how I'm anything like other trans people though. Transitioning is the only proven method to alleviate dysphoria, and in my case it not only has made me hate being a man more, but also made me realize that I'm completely unable to like anything else

you know you can be cis and dysphoric, right?

>>41606672 (OP)
i feel the exact same about mine, but im the other way around. i kinda feel like itd feel even more wrong if i took testosterone from how you guys describe going insane from taking estrogen with all the ftm detrans grifter stuff on top of that. the thing is i wouldnt mind looking like a man though i just dont wanna look ugly because no one does but people keep memeing themselves into believing being ugly makes you pass as a man because thats both how trans women feel towards the gender they were assigned and how radfems view the male gender as well. all i want is to look like me but if i were male

>>41608884
thats called being a repressor