>>24481406>>24481296The boat is sinking. Good heavens the boat is sinking. I see holes in the ship, holes and pirates too. The pirates are quite an issue—the holes too—but whatever the case, the ship is sinking!
"Good sir," I ask the man upon the deck. "Are you the Captain?"
"Not so, I am but a lowly cook."
"I may be mistaken, but it appears as though the ship is sinking. There are holes in the hull, and pirates too, going through-it as the pirates do. Might you tell me where the Captain is, that we may remove them from the ship?"
"Science forbid! The pirate is not the problem you see, just a sign of a greater one than he. The Captain is at fault, for he gains advantage when you concern yourself with such trivialities as holes and pirates. The Captain pays us only twelve an hour and takes home the lions share, yet we must slave away on this Science-forbidden boat like dogs!"
"I see, very well. However, the boat is sinking, and there are armed pirates on the deck. I would prefer it if we could survive at least until the morrow, then we can consult about the wages. For now, let us find a way to stop the pirates?"
"Science forbid! The pirates are quite the non-factor. It is merely a symptom—"
"My good man, they are making holes in the hull, they just killed Linda and Martin, and Clarice too."
"—a symptom of the Captain's greed, who splits us man against man in the eternal war of Class—"
"Let's boot the pirates and plug the holes first, and then consult about the wages—"
"Enough about the holes! Don't you see the true enemy is inequality? Why do you think the pirates are reduced to this piracy business? If not for the Captain's greed, you and I and pirate alike would join together in arms—"
"That's wonderful, but the ship sinking. We can figure this equality business out after the holes—"
"Fudge! Enough about the holes and hole-makers! All you care about are silly emotional qualms, while people such as you or I struggle to afford basic necessities like a Nintendo Switch 2 or Universal Healthcare, all to satisfy your petty fascistic desire for control. Don't you see that if the Captain were deposed, we could support as many pirates as Science would allow, all together joined in Proletarian harmony?"
"Yes, all wonderful things. Let's deal with the Captain. Let's also deal with holes before we drown—lo! Another ship-full is boarding! Some are bearing arms!"
"Enough about the pirates! The arrival of pirates is merely an effect of the system which benefits from the division of proletariat—"
"I know! I know it's just a symptom of a greater issue! Let's boot the pirates, plug the holes, and then kick the Captain!"
"Fudge about the holes!"
It is said that all drowned quite equitably.