>be me
>almost 30
>been isolated since I was 11
>entire life = internet, vidya, porn, drugs, booze
>suicidal thoughts on loop 24/7
>hate myself
>cut myself sometimes just to feel something
>went to therapy, shrinks, took meds
>ate nothing but junk
>never exercised
>sleep schedule is a joke
>hygiene? what's that
>never go outside unless absolutely necessary
>no irl friends, no gf, no human connection
>no sex, no dates, no romance
>no school, no job
>literally just rotting
>starting to realize I wasted my entire life
>regret hits like a freight train

What books would you suggest me?

>>24488953 (OP)
The Books of life and death

>>24488953 (OP)
some guys are just weird. just make not being weird a top priority. the top priority. if you are doing something and its weird stop. if you have a choice of what to do choose the not weird one. make non weird long term goals and when you are not busy, work towards them

>>24488953 (OP)
How bout you stop feeling sorry for yourself like a fag and go do something?
Ever think of that?

>>24488953 (OP)
Duplicate thread >>24488710

>>24488963
Be aware of how you come across to others, and if something you do consistently makes people uncomfortable or distant, reflect on it honestly. But don't try to erase who you are, aim to grow into someone both true to yourself and socially attuned. Work on long-term goals that matter to you and build confidence through consistent effort. The right people will appreciate you not in spite of your uniqueness, but because of it.

>>24488953 (OP)
>Starting Strength, mark rippetoe
>SteroidSourceTalk
>/fraud/ on /fit/
>We Want To Live, aajonus vonderplanitz
>Thus Spoke Zarathustra
>looksmaximus archive videos
>ticket to bangkok, thailand

>>24488953 (OP)
The nice thing about being a complete and utter fuck-up is that making even significant changes is often quite easy, and their effects are often immediately noticeable. The fact that you're under 30 is a massive -- and I do mean massive -- advantage here. Start right this second. Start with just one small change. I believe in you, anon. I turned my life around, despite having faced unusual and sometimes ridiculous challenges along the way. You can, too.

>>24488953 (OP)
its over and itll only get worse

>>24488953 (OP)
Watch whatifalthist

>>24489084
the guy that had sex with his mom?

>>24488953 (OP)
The Sea-Wolf

>>24488953 (OP)
>could live to 90
>wasted my entire life
Your mindset explains everything

>>24488953 (OP)
Cut off porn entirely, assimilate your libido with the drive to make money and improve yourself.
You won't achieve this in a day but it is the only way, your sex drive is the strongest force in existence, don't waste it on pixels on the screen.

>>24489102
>Cut off porn entirely
Much much easier said then done

I'm also 30
Never bothered with porn, drugs or booze
I exercised a bit and I always had good hygiene because I like being comfy in bed
I think it was at the age of 20 that I realised I needed to exercise to not go insane with stress, I highly recommend you start doing it
Also I just started working my first job, it's 'shit' and minimum wage but actually I'm enjoying it a lot because it's something new after years of not working
I have a lot of regrets but they've gone from keeping me up at night, causing me to panic, etc to just kind of being there
I suggest you start exercising, start a routine and get some kind of job
Anyway I don't believe that books can solve any issues, for me literature is just something I'm passionate about

>>24489132
Also idk why people care so much about porn
I really doubt you're just masturbating to porn all day and even if you were, it's probably because you have nothing better to do
Just stop taking it so seriously, you have far more pressing issues to solve like not exercising and not having a job
The people who want to make you obsessed with your porn habits are cultists who want to rope you in and waste your time on shit that doesn't matter

Lotta people recommending this guy life advice instead of books

>>24488953 (OP)
havamal
>More blest are the living than the lifeless,
>'tis the living who come by the cow;
>I saw the hearth-fire burn in the rich man's hall
>and himself lying dead at the door.

>71.
>The lame can ride horse, the handless drive cattle,
>the deaf one can fight and prevail,
>'tis happier for the blind than for him on the bale-fire,
>but no man hath care for a corpse.

>72.
>Best have a son though he be late born
>and before him the father be dead:
>seldom are stones on the wayside raised
>save by kinsmen to kinsmen.

>>24489157
the positive fatalism like this resonates so much with me compared to "jesus loves you" kind of crap. it could be suggested much more in these kind of threads but everybody dismisses it as subculture larp right away.

>>24488953 (OP)
Bronze Age Mindset so it can be explained to you that your are chimp in zoo masturbating to chimp painting on the wall:
https://archive.org/details/bronze-age-pervert-bronze-age-mindset-2018

Also unironically read Atomic Habits and if you want watch old Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson and Tony Robbins videos. I know those things will get mocked on here but if you're starting from zero they are infintely helpful. Do not be afraid to start small, as small as humanly possible if it's necessary. Walk for ten minutes. Meditate for one. Throw away one piece of garbage. Etc etc.

Watch these:
https://youtu.be/ZXWPGh_cOQY?si=KInyVcAE7lP8A7CO
https://youtu.be/ESYYby1FuPc?si=MRR50LE9kfT6mtSy
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6lCCk6rgn84&pp=0gcJCfwAo7VqN5tD

Some useful stuff on here, one of the only archives of old Chateau Heartiste articles:
https://wiki.chadnet.org/

>>24488997
These are some interesting recs, although genuinely I really would not recommend starting with Zarathustra from Nietzsche. Start with Genealogy or Antichrist.

>>24489166
>Streams of the spring a-singing,
>Winds o' the May that blow,
>Birds from the Southland winging,
>Buds in the grasses below.
>Clouds that speed hurrying over,
>And the climbing rose by the wall,
>Singing of bees in the clover,
>And the dead, under all!

>Lads and their sweethearts lying
>In the cleft o' the windy hill;
>Hearts that hushed of their sighing,
>Lips that are tender and still.
>Stars in the purple gloaming,
>Flowers that suffuse and fall,
>Twitter of bird-mates homing,
>And the dead, under all!

>Herdsman abroad with his collie,
>Girls on their way to the fair,
>Hot lads a-chasing their folly,
>Parsons a-praying their prayer.
>Children their kites a-flying,
>Grandsires that nod by the wall,
>Mothers soft lullabies sighing,
>And the dead, under all!
In Media Vita, by Cather

>>24489029
Nta but can you tell me more about what you did? I'm almost thirty too and since January I have started trying to get my life back on track. I'm reading again, learning french and how to play an instrument. During the next couple weeks I plan on taking classes on a subject I like and may be able to turn into a job in the future, trying to get some online freelancer jobs based on skills I have and going back to the gym. It still doesn't feel like enough. I feel too old, like I won't be able to crawl myself out of this hole. I'm still trying tho.

>>24488953 (OP)
literally just inverse these thoughts, you can change these at any point in time. crybaby jfc

>>24489187

Roissy/Chateau Heartiste is fun to read for two reasons: 1) its basic ideas are true, but also 2) at its core is a kind of sharp nihilism which is spicy and can be enjoyable to read for someone who is otherwise well-adjusted, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it as part of any serious self-help regimen. The small steps suggestions are a good starting point for the OP's theoretical problem. "Clean your Room" does in fact work as a starting point, if your room is not clean. Etc.

>>24488953 (OP)
Houellebecq.

>>24488953 (OP)
Well you are pretty much the protagonist of Notes From Underground, so read that I suppose

Can't say it will help you, but it might give you some perspective on how miserable you are, and that might motivate you to change.

>>24488953 (OP)
hey :3
scooch over, i wanna sleep X3
what did u dream abt last nite
hehe i dreamed abt u <3

>>24488997
why's his son black? xd

>>24488953 (OP)
30 is still young.
Alcohol and drugs probably aren't helping you.

>>24489308
>learning french
ono

>>24489253
who tf wrote this
this is genuinely painful to read

>>24488953 (OP)
>A human being is “called” to nothing, and has no “mission,” no “purpose,” no more than a plant or a beast has a “calling.” The flower doesn’t follow the calling to complete itself, but applies all its forces to enjoy and consume the world as best it can, i.e., it sucks in as much of the earth’s juices, as much of the ether’s air, as much of the sun’s light, as it can get and accommodate. The bird doesn’t live up to any calling, but it uses its forces as much as possible: it catches bugs and sings to its heart’s delight.
>Now, as this rose is a true rose from the start, this nightingale always a nightingale, so I am not a true human being only when I fulfill my calling, live up to my purpose, but I am a true human being from birth. My first babbling is the vital sign of a “true human being,” my life struggles are the outpourings of its force, my last breath is the last exhalation of the force of the “human being.”
>The true human being doesn’t lie in the future, an object of longing, but rather it lies in the present, existing and actual. However and whoever I may be, joyful and sorrowful, a child or an old man, in confidence or doubt, asleep or awake, I am it, I am the true human being.

>>24489404
>sucks in as much of anon’s juices
schluuuurrpp X3

>>24489392
if you could read, you'd know who wrote it.

>>24489422
sry but my eyes were bleeding by the end of it so i couldn't exactly fucking read it now could i >_<

>>24489424
i forgive you, retard-kun ^_^

>>24489435
I forgive u too, dumbass-chan ehe~ ^_^

>>24488953 (OP)
read atomic habits and the science of enlightenment

>>24488953 (OP)
learn a trade, hit the gym, get Andy Wells coaching

>suicidal thoughts on loop 24/7
>starting to realize
>starting
bullshit

The only reason why I decided to start looking for a job is because I started having constant anxiety spikes during the day, anxiety attacks at night and during nearly every single night I had terrible nightmares along with a few panic attacks which caused me to literally crumple to the floor because of vertigo + blurred vision and muffled hearing
Once I started looking for a job and eventually found one those all went away

Niggas be 29 and think their life is over.

Im 35 and sames I guess

>>24489691
Not cutting or suicidal though

Niggas be 35 and think their life is over.

>>24488953 (OP)
3 steps for you :

1.) Start every day with 5-10 minutes of meditation/prayer. Focus on what you’re thankful for.

2.) Most important - try to do something different every day. Even small things count like trying a different food or going on a walk.

3.) Do something for someone else every day. Make a small complement, give someone something, lend a helping hand etc..

I would also reccomend to not fixate on end goals that society tells you are important (marriage, money, nofap etc…)Instead try to slow down and focus on the beauty of today and recognize the meaning that’s all around you.

>>24489346
Yeah I think he's just helpful for getting pussy. But he does have a bit of a grim worldview. Also OP
>>24488953 (OP)
check out the Book of Pook