How does one learn to write such kino? Truly the peak of fantasy writing

fantasy (as a bundle of these retarded western tropes) is such a shit genre it really shouldn't even exist after lotr

>>24522431 (OP)
>The Orc Wars were finally over

The Orc city smoldered in a bed of blood and ash. Green-skinned bodies lay strewn across the ground in disparate, desperate piles—some of children choked or choking, dying in their savage mother's arms as Elven soldiers made their way across the mayhem. One Elf, taller than the rest, with banners hoisted high on either side and long hair flowing down his gold-hued armour, looked upon it with a Kingly gaze. A smile. Measured, regal, one of perfect hatred—no pity in his heart but for each and every Elf here slain by green-skin hands or raped by Orcish war-bands.

"Nothing more reviled than an Orc," said the Elven King.

>Main character is the half orc son of a warchief and the queen of a human kingdom
Wow I never thought of it like that....

>>24522431 (OP)
>The savage cries of its defenders now silent and still as its ruin was overseen by the architect of its very destruction
what a mess of a sentence

>>24522431 (OP)
>>24522448
who?

>>24522431 (OP)
First grade english exam be like:
1. Is there anything more reviled than the orc?
2. What were finally over?
3. What is the name of the city that is smoldered and burned down?

>>24522651
>the guys that destroyed the village also saw it being destroyed
wow, truly breathtaking composition there

The orc city smoldered in the wake of battle. The ground was soaked knee deep in the blood and ash of its victims, savage cries of the city's survivors grew fainter until the very air was still. The architect of this destruction looked upon his great work, his chest swelling with great elvish pride at his masterpiece.

"There is nothing more reviled than the Orc!" spat the elvish king. His face was filled with scorn as he looked upon the remains of his victims.

Years of hatred for the inferior race have finally paid off. The vermin were dead.

The Orc Wars were over.

yeah, just appeal to sensory perception
>smoldering
>soaked in
>silent and still
easypeasy

>>24522431 (OP)
Try adding some more racial slurs

>>24523080
Learn to read perhaps?
>the destructors were looking at destructed ruins of the city they destructed

My two fingers when my girl is menstruating.

>There is nothing more reviled than the orc

Take me down to the Orc City
Where the ground is soaked in blood and ash and the Orcs are pretty!!!

> smash the crystal
> break the throne
> leave nothing but knuckle deep ash and bone
> the elven kingdom falls, to our glorious hymn

>>24523251
>t. the illiterate

>>24522431 (OP)
redundant usage of "orc"

>>24522431 (OP)
Why did they even take the orcs from Tolkien? Elves are a folklore race but orcs were his originals

>>24522437
LotR was the equivalent of the greatest Japanese pen man
Once he created his unique calligraphy people just sort of gave up looking for their own style and aped him for decades because no body could be as good.

>>24522431 (OP)
The guy confessed it was a parody but even as a parody that's odd

>>24524360
Confessed or claimed?

>>24522431 (OP)
bro has an ear for rhythm. shit flows.

>>24524364
Confessed. He had drawn hilariously fugly illustrations to go with it before so it seems its true. His twitter is full of /pol/ posting and and complaining about how he hates fantasy

>>24524369
It would not even be so awful if it was not for the main character being introduced saying something redundant and cliche and the repetition of "the"

>>24522626
Not bad bro

>>24522431 (OP)
lmao. There was also a screenshot of the gallery that shows all the orc slurs.

>>24524463
It's parody right?

>>24524491
Who knows. Even for a parody it's poorly written. If he deliberately wrote a full novel of shitty prose just to make fun of fantasy than that is impressive.

>>24524501
His internet jokes suggest the latter but I can't be quite sure

>>24524315
Nope. Orc is just another word for goblin.
In The Hobbit they're called goblins. In The Lord of the Rings they're called orcs.

The creator never "admits" it when it is true ironic parody.

>>24524463
Well, Katie Roome of Perispais Press likes it. That should be good enough for anybody.

>>24524535
He is also the guy who went to Target and made a video complaining that all the books in the fantasy section are aimed at women.

This whole thing started because he commented about how Hideo Kojima is a hack for naming one of his villains "Fat Man"

>>24522431 (OP)
That's YA tier garbage.

>>24524663
>Fat Man
>Tar Man
>Doll Man
>Quiet
>Rainy
Do you think Kojima ever rejects name ideas?

>>24524612
Yeah, but calling the character the word that a famous novelist created and popularised for his special back-story gobbos (I know he based it off of Orkus but still) is kind of odd
I would just call them goblins or trolls >>24524659
Yep, I remember that guy
He kind of had a point but he seemed like a culture warrior

>>24524675
We are talking about a guy who put a joke in the game where she called herself "Princess Beach". So no. Also, Solid Snake, Naked Snake, Liquid Snake, Solidus Snake, Punished Snake, Venom Snake.

>>24524692
Not the strangest character name I've seen in Japanese culture

>>24524663
>Naming your villains after a nuke that destroyed a city in your country

>>24524697
Kojima loves western media so much that he loves the nukes too.

>>24524675
im sure these names sound cooler in japanese

>>24522943
op
he's shilling his own trash

>>24523244
>>24523599
Everyone thinks the dialogue is hoaky but I’ve heard right wing types say shit like “Nothing is more reviled than the nigger” to themselves out loud

I look at this and on the outside I "haha, what a fucking loser" but on the inside I think "I write like that"

Shouldn't Elvish be capitalized?

>>24522431 (OP)
i dont have a problem with this

>>24524960
It'd be Elven, not elvish

>>24525054
Is he comparing evlish with elvis, hinting towards their fate?

>>24524943
if your syril posting, there is hope. the authors got no soul, only anti sjw hatred

elves have a right to defend itself.
>>24523057
kek.

>>24523057
lmao

>>24524663
And then we got a /v/ thread of people rewriting the opening of his shitty fantasy book.

>>24524894
Trvke. I say this all the time.

the author keeps trying to cash in on the memes but instead just posts like a 40K secondary that only knows about ork memes
https://xcancel.com/j0hnadouglas

>>24526091
He's being a good sport, if nothing else.

>>24522626
>lay strewn
Cliche language. I'm out

>>24522626
>>24523183
You're just debating style.

"ORCS could be here", sentenced the elvish king, admiring the destruction his armies had wrought.
"I HATE ORCS", he thought to himself.

>>24522626
OP is much better

>>24522626
>disparate, desperate
ew

>>24522431 (OP)
I have a feeling that was the first draft and author impressed himself by using "smoldered" in a sentence.

>>24524943
I write poorly on purpose so I don't have to risk failure.
https://pastebin.com/cRL0spF1

>>24522431 (OP)
>the wall fell, the dam-brokerage fluted a tithe of blood flowing unbartered upon the city. Green flesh seared as the Elves partook of their king's banquet, the architects, the cooks, the archers and cavalcade of Calvary stormed in and skewered soldiers' plated mail, women's skirts, not the ragged garments of the most wretched orphan went unrent that day; the flames rose, the roses fell, red petals turned to black ash, red blood turned to black bile in the streets as the sewers spilled out, in victory cried the elven king, and he cried for triumph and rode in between a host of standard bearers, the flags so high they were lost among the pikes and ruined towers and burned shells of shacks and hobbling hovels, all arousing a black cloud of sacrificial incense to the old gods. There is no creature more savage, more detestable, he cried to the makeshift court, as the Orc.

>>24525779
yes the author will die shitting holding a loaf of bread in one hand and a man's penis in another, true
>>24526112
kind of has to be since he had his asshole strewn apart on the battlefield

PROLOGUE

>The city was a devastation of blood and brick and the war was done. There is nothing more detestable than the orc.

>>24522431 (OP)
>fantasy
>writing
Get off this board. Nothing in fantasy can hold a candle to literature.