Prev: >>24572475

Life is boring I get constant deja vus

I need to stop watching TV and/or browsing my phone when trying to go to sleep and start reading before bed instead like proper well-to-do couples do.

The other day I had my first "man it'd be nice to have a kid" thought. Maybe having a family is in my cards after all.

Goddamn it actually fills me with rage when people try to shit-talk Franco and the Nationalists in the Spanish Civil War. I am actually infuriated by these people who want to be apologists for murdered priests, raped nuns, desecrated corpses, filth and feces smeared all over shrines.

There is just no fucking peace with these people so I do not fucking care what Trump does to them in my own country. They'll NEVER stop hating people who actually believe in Christ and the Church, so fuck them. Franco was Divine judgment on them, Trump is too, and that's what they'll always get, and I don't have to feel the slightest sympathy for them when they get it.

I don't wanna make a thread since I don't think this book warrants any attention but I read through like 160 pages of "Power vs Force" only to realise this self-help book is masquerading itself as a philosophy book because of the author's supposed academic status.
It reminded me of "The Secret", the pseudo-science version of it. No naunce and yet at the same time tries to put everything in a black and white dichotomy.

>>24575299
Not to be rude but you're kinda getting what you're asking for. If you want serious philosophy, read serious philosophy.

>>24575302
I just picked it up from the library shelf and I thought the title looked nice, I wasn't expecting serious philosophy but at least some nuance.
If there's anything I learnt I'm susceptible to fancy title wording and design.

The knee jerk reaction to Antinatalism is "kill yourself or you're a hypocrite," but part of the problem with existence is that we are instinctively bound to living in fear of pain and death.
Not only that but we would harm others emotionally by committing suicide, either as traumatic witnesses or bereaved family members, etc.
I wouldn't consider myself one, but I just think it's unfair to dismiss a growing philosophy in that way. The conditions that give rise to such a pattern of thought clearly need some fair examination.

>>24575306
Fair enough. All I can say is in my experience, pop-science and pop-history books can be solid, but pop-philosophy should always be avoided.

Hmm, time to finally begin reading one of the two DH Lawrence novels I own, Sons and Lovers and Dr Chatterley's Lover, or go with something else. Any major fans of DH Lawrence here?

Really don't like or understand why the weather effects my mood so much. I was fine when it was 25c and sunny, now it's 20c and cloudy and cool and i'm depressed with other behaviours i don't have when it's nice. It's not even a big shift.

>decide to say fuck it try to relearn maths
>start from pre algebra because not sure where to start
>tfw it feels like pic related

>>24575353
lol I think pre-calc is what you should've gone with

>>24575355
Nah, I don't want to possible miss out on something I should've known beforehand. That said, what's the order of learning maths anyway? At least till start of college level.

>>24575362
high school goes pre-alg -> alg -> alg 2/pre-calc/trig -> calc

>>24575298
>I am actually infuriated by these people who want to be apologists for murdered priests, raped nuns, desecrated corpses, filth and feces smeared all over shrines.

In 2025 there are no more priests they can kill, no more nuns they can rape, no more corpses they can desecrate, in Europe at least. It truly feels like the "reds" have won even tho they lost in the actual war. Very depressing

>>24575353
It's worth doing. If you start from the very beginning and make sure *everything* is crystal clear, you'll understand mathematics far better than most other people. It's what I did when I started preparing for university entrance exams, for both math and physics.

I was going to ask you where the image is from because I recognised it from this music release but the answer was there in the comments. I think I might have it on DVD.

https://youtu.be/Lw6Wjd9lALM

>>24575355
Thanks anon. Much appreciated.

>>24575366
Exactly. I didn't do it before I thought the amount of things I had to learn was daunting but then I realized I was inhibiting myself from learning because of my lack of patience and assumptions that I should know this already. When do you start with Physics? Alongside maths or after a certain point?

Nixon > JFK

niggers

>>24575290
Its too late for me

>>24575216 (OP)
There is no other explanation for the movie Oklahoma than the concurrent events of the slaughter suicide at Kansas City barn room event venue where notably biblical cow hand Stannon Charley with a threaded pipe from the main under South Street deliberated upon a few unwitting while more quietly the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Houston in town for horses was last seen with a man bearing the resemblance of a movie star. The horses themselves were well known actors, distempered and vain.

>>24575298
>>24575365
That's why I don't really get upset when color revolutions happen. Not my problem.

>>24575459
I see.

official thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW1D564lIPY

>>24575679
who is this mongloid cunt what the fuck

>>24575686
That's James Joyce, famous 20th century novelist in the modernist school.

but nah,
>For decades Tatiana Nikolayeva was celebrated as one of the finest pianists and pedagogues in the Soviet world, but it was not until the waning days of the Soviet Union that her renown spread to the West.

+

>Supposedly at an International Bach Competition (which Shostakovich was adjudicating and from which he would return to the Soviet Union, inspired by Nikolayeva to write his monumental 24 Preludes & Fugues for her), the final phase of the competition consisted of playing one of the fugues from the Art of the Fugue. When the panel asked Nikolayeva which one she intended to play, she responded, "Which would you like?" Needless to say, she won.

One of the all-time greatest pianists, especially with her performances of Bach.

>>24575353
What motivates you to do so? Do you have a plan, resources and support to continue? Because you need both motivation and discipline to continue, if you are missing either you won't be pursuing your goal for long.

I once spoke a stranger in Greece
To speak of the salient in peace
But stuck to the lame;
A social con game
I spoke of the weather in Greece

Krasznahorkai's The World Goes On reads like if you asked him to write a unified short story collection that wouldn't be out-of-place if posted in one of these threads.

I can't seem to "lock in" and get in the zone when writing on my days off lately for some reason.

I can type fine.
Can string thoughts together just fine.
But can't focus on putting a story together lately for some reason. When I try my head feels funny and I can't get anything out.

>>24575332
>“Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we start to build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It is rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future: but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We’ve got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.”
― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

with an opening like that, how can you not read it asap

>>24575900
>can string thoughts together just fine
>IT FEEL F-FUNNY OKAY

I'm so exhausted. I clean my flat and my legs shake.

>>24575916
Ok.
It feels like salted clouds that have just enough static charge to raise hair but not enough to raise the dead.

Does that help?

>>24575943
It does, thanks. Stop writing, self reflect or don't. I don't give a fuck. Good luck.

three hours until I gotta ride the bus for two hours to get to the dentist, lame. least i'll get some quality reading done on the way

>>24575216 (OP)
I fear I may be having withdrawls, but how?. I don't know what's happening. Can you even feel withdrawls from pornography?
Why am I all cold all of the sudden.

>>24576046
I'm sure that this would make for a very fresh novel if it was written in this style alternating with dryer, more calm and collected, description. From some narrator character. A distant relative of the Self Insert MC's made by late 20th century cartoonists You know the ones, like R. Crumb and some other.

>>24575216 (OP)
---- Solaria ----
20003

Poise

In circumstances this bright and placid
Or spacious to the mind

I sometimes wonder about the quality of foresight
That takes one here--

That sense of sensational music and
Systems beyond belief.

Ayy, Anon on the beat, ho
Hugo any book nigga, he a free throw
Man down, call an amberlamps, tell him, "Read, bro"
Nail a niggatothecross, he walkaround like Jesus
What'sup with these retarded-ass niggas tryna tell me what to read?
The board can hate me, fuck 'em all and they mama
How many opps you really got? I mean, it's too many options
I'm finna pass on this body, I'm Raskolnikov

>>24576097
Good job tyler the dilater.

>>24576080
Always enjoy reading these.

>>24575216 (OP)
---- Solaria ----
20004
Outdoors
To make a toy of landscape
Or a machine that renders the sky

Like a telescope can is fabulous as fashion
Wishes to be.

>Dolphins QB Tua Tagovailoa on how he motivates himself: "I'm reading a book right now." When asked what he's reading: "I don't know what I'm reading. Funny. Ha ha."

sigh

why are people such shit

i only speak of their bravery in this situation

>>24575368
It's a fun little arthouse film. I really wanna write a novella based on a similar plot, except with clownish, dilettante right-wing terrorists in our contemporary climate (then again some of these right-wingers wear philistinism as a badge of honor).

>>24576187
It wouldn't work, I believe. They are allergic to doing anything except voting. Though I guess it doesn't fully demerit the plot if you make it take place entirely on the internet.
An alternative is to make everyone involved over the age of 40 and center it on Qtardation or something of that sort.

Chat, I'm scared. I hear thunder outside. Eeeek.

>>24576240
Last time it started raining hard over here I oddly enough started wildly celebrating when I heard a mighty thunderblast. I was elated, for some reason.

>>24576249
Nta but I love thunder and lightning storms, they're amazing to watch
We got downpours yesterday and the sound of them is fantastic

>>24576131
Glad that anyone does. I write all of them when pretty drunk, in bed, usually while listening to music with HD600s on, wireless keyboard, big monitor bedside. Addicted more to gardening and big sedans.

>>24575308
>we would harm others emotionally by committing suicide, either as traumatic witnesses or bereaved family members, etc.
People being afraid of death and suicide really perplexes me. Part of a good life is a good death, and we should destigmatize taking yourself out.

>>24576316
Okay, but before that can we try treating each other with kindness? Even gorillas figured it out. We're all collectively much poorer constantly fighting for resources instead of cooperating. Guys come on, glass the bad actors and do it right. No half measures.

>>24575708
I've been a jobless bum after not being able to do much with my degree and not getting a job due to a multitude of factors. So considering how much I've basically done nothing for the past year and half I started studying for these government post exams. They require a lot of subjects, some focusing on one thing more than another, but one subject that's consistent is maths and logical reasoning in all the exams.
For my plan I want to get till calculus at least. I'm using Prof. Leonard's youtube playist and Khan Academy for now. I don't know where I'd find test paper/questions to practice but I guess I'll hopefully figure something out. I study every day for 2 hours minimum. Besides that I don't have much support, I'm more or less on my own.

>>24576324
I'm saying if you destigmatize, suicide all the suicides where it is a kindness stop being "emotional harm", and it becomes emotional harm to demand they do the kindness to others of suffering through it

>>24576337
And I am saying you'll have a better odds seeing pigs fly.

>>24576340
Not really, plenty of countries want to or already have instituted euthanasia or assisted dying laws

>>24575216 (OP)
Watching The Master right now. Casting Joaquin Phoenix as the MC was a great idea, (Though I think they overplayed their hand by attempting to pass a 38 year old man as a twenty-something), and I can also see why he was cast as Joker (2018), now.

>>24576354
The guy playing legally distinct L Ron Hubbard is not bad either.

>>24576349
>11 out of 193 legalized
>4 are discussing it
Yup, plenty is the worlds strongest lifter in that sentence.

>>24576362
Pretty sure there are more countries were homosexually is a crime.

David Bowie is the greatest artist of all time

>>24576362
>Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Canada, Colombia, New Zealand, and parts of Australia, Spain, and the United States
Yeah, none of those seem to be big or important countries, let's focus on Burkina Faso

>>24576368
You're right, it's not even close lol. 64 says the llm.

>>24576371
Don't mind me just passing through.

>Brother gets girlfriend.
We still hang out some times but not as much.
>Friends get girlfriends.
We never see each other anymore.
>Stepsister and regular sister get boyfriends.
Stop interacting with me a lot.

>>24576378
That is plenty of countries. How many did you imagine would be plenty? The chances of you being from one of them and able to avail of it is pretty high bro, are you planning on more than eleven suicides for yourself personally?

>>24576357
AH WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO SEE NAKED WOMEN.
Thank fully pornography has fried my brain so hard this is barely even arousing.

>>24576384
More than half would be plenty. Half the planet saying Ayy, neck yourself? That's alright with me. That's plenty. Also, I don't give a fuck ain't no law stopping me from swan diving into oncoming traffic. You're the one being weighed down by the stigma.

>>24576388
>Can't tell the difference between suicide and murder-suicide
Sorry euthanasia laws are highlighting your unkindness to others, I guess

>>24576391
Okay, feel free to reprimand my corpse. Just no butt stuff. I do not consent.

>>24576382
Zog's vile plot. Either that or life is leaving you behind, slowly. There are ways to cope with this of course. The lowest and most slavish is trying to catch up, of course. But there are others.
That now deceased Peruvian oddly enough enlightened me to this in his short story about cubs of some sort.
Dragging myself through it was worth it.

>>24576393
Good luck enforcing that, I hope everyone else survives

>>24576399
Same.

>>24576395
>Either that or life is leaving you behind, slowly.
Yeah, it's definitely this. I didn't even understand the rest of what you said.

>>24576031
now my mother has me all nervous telling me the cleaning is not only gonna be uncomfortable but painful as well, great

>>24576411
They're going to twist your nipples too. You don't know the half of it.

>>24576411
Eh, you'll live.

>>24576403
Sorry, I will try to rephrase:
There are ways to make life leaving you behind hurt less or to remediate that fact; I consider attempting to catch up to life to be the worst way, because you are playing someone else's game at a disadvantage; I deem it slavish because you submit yourself to a path you clearly don't thread naturally.
The rest was me ruminating about a Vargas Llosa Story about some young men. Sorry.

>>24575216 (OP)
We're at the point where liking Death Grips is uncool now, but the reality is they're just that good. Sorry.

>>24576435
You're all good, bro, no worries, thanks for rephrasing. And RIP Llosdawg.

>>24576387
Wait is this movie about David Miscavige.

>>24576443
Nta but no. Wild Palms is about Miscavige

>>24576240
t. my cat

>>24576470
When she gets a little wet my cat responds by crying very loudly and scratching at my door.

Just saw an Ice agent and told him I know where his child goes to school and I drove away

I have realized that every time I use AI to jerk off, I end with something that's magnitudes more depraved than the porn I usually masturbate to. I am sick in the head, always been, I still remember the things I imagined when I started masturbating at the age of 7.

>>24576611
@fbi @ice this is the nig

Advice: Only read American writers.

>>24576643
I already knew you are piece of human garbage the moment you mentioned AI porn. I can describe your entire being with one word; tasteless.

>>24576672
I don't care what you label me as, but I jerk off to chat bots, not generated imagines, if that makes you feel any better.

>>24576675
actually that's even worse...

>>24576677
Well you can't be friends with everybody as they say.

>>24576659
Funny because the best American writes larped as Europeans

Thank GOD the window repair guys finally left so I can BEAT OFF

>>24576740
Yes, no need to pay attention to the work area there are no new cameras installed there that are pointing at your goon station. I checked myself, you're good to go.

in my “switching to spirits” glow up era

>>24575216 (OP)
Transsexuals should participate in women's sports so that women can feel like shit and get beaten badly, as is their comeuppance. Modern Western women are trash and they must be treated like such until they learned their place, i.e. in tenth place.

>>24576758
>a woman hurt my feelings and that's just not okay

>>24576697
That's false.

can you put a random date on your product, implying you're a much older brand? there's a cheap vodka in the uk, JJ vodka, on the bottle it says •1762• ... which i doubt.
as best i can see they were founded 1978.
mind you, it doesn't say est. 1762
just that date (or rather, those four digits) embossed on the bottle.

curse is lifted

Can love between a husband and wife be as passionate as the sex the husband has with another woman he shouldn't be with?

>>24575355
In case anyone just joined the thread, calc is short for calculator.

>>24576874
explain to the folks at home

>>24576868
Yeah, requires work tho. Affairs are spur of the moment drop in your lap kind of thing. Fast food tier.

it has to be said - nothing else elevates a look like a cigarette

Be fr bro

Tea tastes so good, but gives no satisfaction.

>>24575216 (OP)
There are somedays i wish you could change your ethnicity. Like id turn myself Italian so I can avoid being accused of contributing to colonialism

>>24576970
It depends on the tea in question. I just got some pomegranate herbal tea and earl grey today

>>24577021
lol yeah of course the italians weren't colonialist. the italin flags in east africa are decorative

>>24577021
True, the Romans didn't even walk anywhere.

>>24577025
I have never found one that gives the same satisfaction as soda or beer. I just don't think that warm and sweet work well together to create the feeling I am looking for. It is not cold, so it does not quench my thirst. It also lacks a strong/bitter taste sufficient to make a difference in your mouth. The sensation when you drink it is just very meh, but it tastes really good.

>>24577066
Have you never heard of iced tea? Retard.

>>24577071
Have you ever heard of hot chocolate?

>>24577071
I obviously have, but I am talking about warm tea. Most of the iced teas I have tried are good, but they contain a ton of sugar. They also do not really taste like tea in the same way; it feels more like drinking sugar. And I am cutting atm so it is a no go.

>>24577087
You can make your own unsweetened iced tea. Retard.

I wish you would have talked to me.

>>24575216 (OP)
Finally given up on all my spooks and hang ups( I hate this word). What's the point anyway? I lived by ideals above and beyond mere practicalities. All they brought me was pain and now even those closest to me, those who were the foundation of who I was have betrayed me as well. And it turns out that not being radically selfish in your pursuits and relations is a weakness now. It sucks to base your ethics, not on higher calling, but on game theory calculations on those surrounding you and what you can get out of them.

I feel a certain calm and peace now. As if I was worrying over what amounts to nothing for 30 years. Time to become just another NPC product of the time and put an end to self denial and restraint. I might lose the capacity to selflessly love even my family but it's their fault I became this.

>>24577090
just make your own retard. make your own pickles. slaughter your own cow. what are you dumb???

>>24576417
>>24576420
It was too painful to finish so the dentist stopped so now I have yet another appointment where they're gonna numb me and finish it. Makes this one a waste of time tho, why didn't they just numb from the outset? meh

>>24577127
What do you want?

Got home and turns out my hair was all flat -- I was walking around looking like that! That means the girls I thought who were checking me out may have just been looking to look. Sad. Could just be in my head tho, and perhaps my hair looked fine, but now I'll never know.

>>24575216 (OP)
I'm having a harder and harder time with fundamentalist and straight dogmatic thought in general, especially when it comes to widely accepted interpretations of scripture, despite being sympathetic to it for a good portion of my life. So much of it is based on contempt, dismissal, and reduction of ''the other'', and I sincerely have a lot of difficulty with participating in that, more than ever before. Life is just so expansive, and that perspective been one of the main fuels for my soul. Maybe I am making a damning mistake by prioritizing personal experience over the wise consensus. Somebody did try to argue that these thought are results of a sick and poisoned heart, and that I just wasn't strong enough to take the world for what it truly is. I don't know. What I do know is that this sort of humanism is considered lame in current year lol.
I hope that God will not banish me from his everlasting light by the end of it all, and will forgive my confusion, wherever it may be.

>>24577194
Do you mean removing tartar? In my experience numbing is super simple and takes just a couple minutes(mostly getting the syringes). Why could they not just numb you when you where already there?

>>24577297
No idea, maybe they only had exactly 30 minutes allotted for my appointment or the numbing agents were in one of the different rooms? All I know is in a month I have to do another new patient exam where they look at my teeth (I guess they needed to do some cleaning in order to get a better look at them), and then a month after that they'll do that deep cleaning. But yes, why couldn't they just do it today? If they had asked me, I woulda' told them I'd be too sensitive. Whatever. It's one of the busier practices in the lower-income-ish area of the city-metro, where people with free healthcare go, so I can't really complain I guess.

>>24576333
Prof Leonard saved my ass multiple times.
Look into MIT opencourseware, I recommend just the lecture videos and if you want worksheets to work on KorpisWorld has great material on highschool maths (precalculus).

I am unemployed, in a relationship I tepidly would prefer not to be in, think constantly, though not flatteringly so, about my ex-girlfriend, and do nothing but run and jump rope and then drink beer in my room by myself with my dog on days I have off from this self-appointed boxing camp even though I haven't sparred in six months because I can't afford a gym. I can very easily see my future self considering this something of an idyll, but it's not by any present analysis. I am puerile, self-interested as all young men are, shallow, idiotic. I like drinking porters and stouts in the morning -- a dietary habit I picked up out of youthful suggestion to a Melville short story "Cock-a-Doodle-Doo." I'll probably get evicted soon and have to go live with my girlfriend or mother.

Question for feds
everyone knows you're here stop bullshitting we all read the ragebait news about that old gay florida cop

I downloaded a product on amazon that has usb-c charging and when opening it in file explorer it a .exe in all chinese that translates to "ntp time synchronization" yeah right 33mb for ntp is bullshit. It showed up as malware with 6 vendors on virustotal. Is there anyone I can tell about malware? Like is it simply an unprosecuteable crime if you don't hire someone? Like I'm just going to run clamav on a stick and delete it but I'm genuinely curious who law enforcement actually decides to help with cyberattacks because it was a popular listing on amazon lol

I'll be back in a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfOPpgdWgkw

I have an unpublished WW2 Epic my late grandfather apparently stole from some writer by sneaking into his house and jumping out the window with it. I only remembered it existed because I was opening some documents and last time I came across the book I wasn't really interested in literature. I don't know what to do with it. Despite yellowed pages, the entire work is in really pristine conditions.

A free tip: disable watch history in Youtube and it will stop giving you a front page with watch suggestions at all. No more clickbait procrastination spirals. Every time you open Youtube it's just a blank page whining at you to turn your watch history back on.

Another tip: There are browser extensions that force all Youtube video titles to have an initial capital letter and only lowercase letters after that. No more "Donald Trump SHITS and PISSES himself LIVE" retard bait for zoomers/indians.

Kiko

oops you aren't smart
enjoy suffering