slice of life edition

Previous >>24592309

>What is Web Novel General?
A general for readers and authors involved or interested in the growing phenomenon of 'web novels', serialized English fiction posted to websites such as: Royalroad, Webnovel, Scribblehub, Wattpad, Archive of Our Own, Spacebattles, HFY, various personal author websites, and more

>Why read web novels?
Not for prose or tight editing or deep themes, frankly. As a whole, web novels are infamous for content sprawl and pacing issues. If you enjoy having millions of words to sink your teeth into to get to know the world and characters, though, you may be interested. Keeping up with other readers on a weekly basis to discuss the story's events unfolding is another perk, in the same way discussing an ongoing TV show might be.

>Why write web novels?
Ease of access & potential for Patreon earnings. Many successful authors gain an audience on their website of choice and funnel their readers into a Patreon. See https://graphtreon.com/top-patreon-creators/writing for an idea of what some are earning.
Also, once an author has earned a fanbase, transitioning into an Amazon self-publishing career is several orders of magnitude easier than starting 'dry'.

> Advice for Noobs!
Running your story like the business it is:
https://www.royalroad.com/forums/thread/116847

On writing webserials:
https://alexanderwales.com/how-to-write-a-web-serial/

Sanderson's Writing lectures 2025:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEUh_y1IFZY&list=PLSH_xM-KC3ZvzkfVo_Dls0B5GiE2oMcLY

How much must I write/get views in RR for people to pay me on Patreon or download my book in Kindle?

I still don't get commenter rep etiquette, but getting ratio'ed feels bad somehow. Must be my autism.
>>24598482
I've heard that you can expect from 1% to 5% of followers to become patrons. So to make a meaningful amount, you must be into like, top 1% fictions. Or live in the third world.

>>24598482
A lot. Get on Rising Stars or die. ywn be that nigga collecting 5-13k a month.

>>24598482
>How much must I write
Enough to hit rising stars (20k words minimum on RR + another 20k for patreon)

For them to actually pay for your sloppa it will need to be somewhat good. There's plenty of rising stars stories that people read out of boredom but have terrible conversion rates to patreon. As for Kindle that's something you usually do after you're a few volumes in on RR and are somewhat successful. If you flop I guess you could still try to find success on Kindle and redirect people back to RR/Patreon. There are plenty of stories that didn't do well on RR but eventually grew a following because of kindle readers who didn't want to wait for the next book to be published.

>>24598489
And here is a tl:dr of an analysis, the plots are worth reading for taking your own conclusion.
https://cosmiccoding.com.au/tutorials/royalroad/#summary

>>24598482
I have no idea what motivates patreon users. There's a lot of successful top works on the site, and the author's patreon will be like $30 despite having 10,000 followers.

We need an FAQ in the OP
none of the current FAQs are actually frequently asked

>>24598521
I don't think anyone reads FAQs before asking.
But at least there wouldn't be a rentry debacle again. Right?

>>24598521
I agree. We should come up with a definitive list of tips and answers to questions authors might have. A recommendation list for readers might also be helpful. I remember anons discussing their favorites a few threads ago so that could start as the base.

Useful things I can think of:
>How to hit Rising Stars?
>How large of a backlog should I have?
>Info on the shoutout cabal metagame and its click through rates
>Info on purchasing ads
>Can I write X on RoyalRoad / Whatever site and be successful?
>Explanation of RR -> Patreon -> Kindle -> Audible pipeline
>Tips on commissioning a cover and not going bankrupt

>>24598467 (OP)
>haven't posted a chapter for a week
>0 followers
>still get 10 view a day
Where are these people coming from? I thought all views come from "recently updated" page.
Also, how long until RR flags content as on hiatus?

>>24598550
Also, how long until RR flags content as on hiatus?
6 months of now new chapters IIRC.

>>24598482
> or download my book in Kindle
Go to the Search option and set status to Stub. Those are series that have moved to KU and you'll see all the successful ones have 100k+ views, most have closer to 1M or more.

I'm just gonna write star trek and every week they go to a new planet and ruin it with their optimism.

>harem sloppa
>the girls fight each other and are extremely petty
How can someone be so tone deaf? Like, for real

>>24598550
>10 hits outta no where?
Standard search engine spam (basically all of them ignore the "do not archive" settings) as well as drive by AI LLMs analysis.

>>24598550
AI is reading your story to ape it.

>>24598467 (OP)
>Why write web novels?
>Not for prose or tight editing
I'm looking to start publishing storys and that is a concern for me. I'm discraphic with bad phoneme awareness. The more words, the more likely I'm going to inbarris myself. I also second gauss my prose a lot but I think this most writers. Content sprawl isn't a worry for me though. I'm more interested in writing a series of smaller self-contained stories that have some overarching plot for people who care to read everything.

>>24598612
Run your writing through a corrector or bot, then you're good to go.

>>24598612
what game is your picture from?

>>24598625
Elin

>>24598601
you'd think RR would just give them the data, like Wikipedia

Writing 1,000 words a day is a lot harder than I anticipated. 2,500 for RR is gonna be brutal.

>>24598708
They don't have to be good words.

>>24598467 (OP)
I need some kind of diversion. I'm pretty sure I can hit the door at the top of the basement steps like gangbusters and I'm looking to be somewhat close to him. A little momentary surprise, I just need to get my hands on him to even things up. I've got to keep him from getting a gun into play. He'd have a gun out to intimidate Zar and keep her in line. A distraction for his attention, then I come in the opposite way of that diversion. That, I might be able to work with.

The only thing I can think of on short notice, is my phone. I have an app that will trigger another app after a countdown or on a timer basis. A long time ago, its ancient history now that some joker once made a phone app that blinks red and blue lights. A siren noise. You would put it up on your dash, and pull your friends over then call them a rube. It worked too well, and it got past just kids doing it. Criminals were pulling people over and robbing them when they thought a cop needed to speak with them. Of course, the app still existed.

The app now lived on, as a party accessory. When your favorite hockey team scored, the siren noises and flashing cop lights went off. It was strictly for home novelty use only. You can't set the lights and sirens off on demand, its sports game signal only. Of course its hard to find the original now, but I know how to look for things online. I just used it to be annoying one day. Hello, diversion.

My plan is to put this phone, with the timer counting down to the lights and siren on the windowsill. Just for a second, the lights will resemble flashing cop car lights. The siren and tweaks complete the momentary facade. It should get his attention towards the front wall. I'll be hitting the cellar door behind him. Get the gun knocked off the table, get my hands on him as quick as possible. I give myself even or better odds if I can even it up.

I heard her get snide with him. She's still talking to me, feeding me any information she can.

"Left handed, huh. That's weird."

"Why is that so weird."

"A lot of left handed guys I knew? They were gay. Just saying."

He didn't take the bait or snip back at her. Big guy. Looks tough. Southpaw. Pretty sure I can hear him lifting and dropping my automatic on the wooden table. You get intimate with the sound of a gun over time. Me and that one have been together longer than I've known Merry and Zar. I've got minutes left, and I'm not about to waste it. Anything else I can use for a weapon. I found a fairly new big name rechargeable drill. Several inch long wood screws.

>>24598708
Anons recommend having a backlog for a reason. If you've got a 60k words headstart it gives you a whole month to keep momentum going.

What would he be wearing for footwear. The tracks? Looked like some kind of work boots. If I could locate a foot, I could send the big drill with a several inch long coarse thread wood screw up through between the floor boards. I hit his sole and get a half a twist on a run, it'll go all the way through his foot and up out the top. It will be a temporary anchor, but still debilitating even if he pulls free. He'll do more damage pulling with adrenaline than the attack itself does.

He's at a table. You can't see your feet under the table. My little light. I can frame his foot location. He won't notice a dim tiny light, let alone a brief one. I expect the noise and red blue lights. He doesn't. I get a brief freeze. As soon as I hear the first chirp of the siren go off, I immediately go straight up with my finger waiting on the drill. All that exists, I make sure his foot looks to be above my waiting screw.

I hit the trigger button and shoved straight up as the powerful drill lurched up with the coarse thread. I heard the satisfying howl within a fraction of a second of the first chirp. As soon as I buried the screw I went to the basement door at the top of the steps. Not enough room to get a run and kick the flimsy old re-purposed closet door in. The wooden frame around the door is showing on my back side. I just chin up and swing. My feet I can walk back one then two studs before I let myself swing and propel my legs and heels into the old weak door.

The four inner panels exploded out like they weren't even there. The cross shape that formed the four inner panel sections went asunder with it. I just stepped through the outside edge of what was once a door. I has about a step and a half off him. He was standing. Pulling at his left leg. Staring at the window and front of the house. Lights and sirens had him momentarily in a fluster. Me coming behind him gangbusters might seem like a team of uniforms hitting the house. I only need that little bit of momentum. I've pulled the trigger. I'm now fully committed to my course of action.

Szarabjorna exploded upright. She planted one foot on something down in her corner and shot down the rectangular table. Sirens and lights, foot screwed to the floor in time with it. I hit the door moments later and Zar knocked the guns off the table. His attention was in demand. Foot, get free, fight or flight. Front door, police. Immediate ambush from the back. He got his attention half on me and the two handguns clattering off.

I had hoped to get on him, maybe tackle him. No. I was happy to go down and come to rest between him and both guns. I started kicking at his screwed foot. I can do a lot of damage if I get him while he's trying to lift it. I'll take a limp on this match up. I'm out of my weight class. This guy isn't a complete rank amateur. He's I think pretty damn level headed under this pressure situation. This might be some version of myself, gone bad. I shoved the guns to clatter further away.

Read the first book of Practical Guide to Evil ahead of the stubbing. When does it get good?

>>24598795
That's the neat part, it doesn't.

>>24598795
if you don't like women? never.
if you're a lesbian? never.
even if (You)'re a slop enjoyer? never.

>yurisisters are upset that AO3 is dominated by fujo pairings
the majority of women don't want to read or even write female mc stories.
the femc is a gooner icon

>>24598882
>the majority of women don't want to read or even write female mc stories.
Huh?
Do you live in some kind of bizarro world

>>24598805
So what should I read to scratch the itch left by catching up to Pale Lights?

>>24598885
I am shitposting with data backing me up.
AO3 is dominated by women.
What is the most written thing there?
Stories about men.
This is what women want to read.
This is what women want to write.
The lesbians are furious but lesbians are a minority. Everyone knows that.

>>24598937
when fujos move, we are not them to stand in their way

>>24598937
>lando norris/oscar piastri
Bruh

>>24598958
where are my verstappen/toto fics?
isnt he going to mercedes?

>>24598937
Actual "women" and "ao3" don't seem to pair up that well

>>24598969
wrong entirely and the data proves it. trans women are much more likely to be man-hating feminists that read/write yuri. fujoGODS running the show means they aren't trans.

>>24598604
Oh, and here I was, optimistic someone was reading it.

>>24598562
I mean... Isn't that how harems were?

>>24598937
Lesbians are a proto-gnostic psyop anyway.

>>24598795
if you straight up didn't like book 1 then never
I thought book 1 was meh. book 2 is good and 3+ is great imo

>>24598997
I'll read it, post it.

>>24599004
If you're talking about real historical harems then no, not always. In many cases that would be the exception not the norm.

>>24599004
No one read harem slop for realism
The meta is meek and obedient girls

>>24598937
>the fanfiction pornsite is representative of women as a whole
hey retard. how about you use the publishing industry instead? think that might paint a better picture?

>>24598620
I'll look into LanguageTool. It looks like someone made a Emacs mode for it. Unless you are saying I should have ChatGPT "review" my work. I've seen jeets in /wg/ advertising "AI editors" and all they do spit out a wall of text about how "good" the story is.
>>24598625
Elin. The game randomizes quests and sometimes they get deranged. Wacky things like this are normal in Elin. It plays like a cross between Elder Scrolls and Dwarf Fortress. It's /jp/'s loves this game and always has a general thread for it.

>>24599066
>ChatGPT "review" my work
No, I suggested more in the way of "correct my spelling mistakes", what you wrote was fine, but there's some points where your dysgraphia was very apparent. Don't rely on bots for actual reviewing.
As long as it's readable, I don't think many will care about your prose, but spelling mistakes are off putting in any written work.

Compiled recommendations I saw posted in the previous archived threads so that I could make a rentry link in the OP for newfags. I humbly ask for more recommendations. It currently has an overabundance of fmc and many of the categories are lacking. If something is mistagged or you would like to see a change then also let me know.

https://rentry.co/d2yvczro

>>24598728
>The only thing I can think of on short notice, is my phone. I have an app that will trigger another app after a countdown or on a timer basis. A long time ago, its ancient history now that some joker once made a phone app that blinks red and blue lights. A siren noise. You would put it up on your dash, and pull your friends over then call them a rube. It worked too well, and it got past just kids doing it. Criminals were pulling people over and robbing them when they thought a cop needed to speak with them. Of course, the app still existed.

>The app now lived on, as a party accessory. When your favorite hockey team scored, the siren noises and flashing cop lights went off. It was strictly for home novelty use only. You can't set the lights and sirens off on demand, its sports game signal only. Of course it’s hard to find the original now, but I know how to look for things online. I just used it to be annoying one day. Hello, diversion.
So not only are you so uncreative that your idea of a distraction is a literal alarm app on a phone….but you also spend two whole paragraphs describing said app. Are you writing these action scenes while stoned? Why the fuck is this shit moving so slowly? Get someone to edit this drivel you faggot

>>24599092
>Disclaimer: We do not support reading Asian web sloppa on the websites ranobes dot top and novelfire dot net respectively. Likewise, using a website like nyaa dot si to read jnovel's is equally reprehensible. Thank you for understanding.
I was going to say, "who is 'we'", but I saw what you did there. Cheeky anon.

I think if you're including stubbed works, you should add a clause explaining what it is.
I'm kinda iffy about the inclusion of foreign language works as the jannies may delete the general if it becomes too much about it. This mostly applies to published light novels.

Well, you added works I already recommended, so I can't say much in that regard.

All in all, solid work.

>>24599030
I will once I have reached a certain size.

>>24599066
>tell ChatGPT not to reword, only fix typos
>it still rewrites 20% of the sentences
This is why I would rather have typos in my work, rather than have ChatGPT as my editor.

>>24598489
>I've heard that you can expect from 1% to 5% of followers to become patrons.
just be like the archmage story and have 21% of 13,000 readers convert into 10$ customers

>>24599122
>I'm kinda iffy about the inclusion of foreign language works ... mostly applies to light novels.
>the jannies may delete the general
Good point. I'll remove them.

>>24599156
I'm curious what this ChatGPT would do with one of my chapters, what it would edit/rewrite it as.

>>24599049
>how about you use the publishing industry instead?
no, this data is funnier.
>think that might paint a better picture?
yes but it is less amusing.

>>24599145
Come on, just post it I'm not gonna shit on it or sabotage it.

I've had some success releasing short horror fiction. So I know I'm able to write horror fiction that readers who like the genre want to read.

I'm going to post to NoSleep like I've done before. I've got 5k of my fiction (it's going to be a novella) ready to go. But I'm thinking it might be smarter to complete the whole story first, then release weekly but give readers the option to read the whole thing right away if they go to the Patreon.

Or I could just release a chapter weekly and then just put the book on Kindle Unlimited when its done. Dunno I just want to make some money from the project.

>>24599106
>So not only are you so uncreative that your idea of a distraction is a literal alarm app on a phone….
In a high pressure situation the slightest thing can be misinterpreted and over-reacted upon. You telling me here and now. If (you) were the bad guy. You kidnapped the girl. You're holed up in a remote farmhouse.
Now. Things are tense.
You are telling me, here and now... that when flashing red and blue lights, and a siren noise goes off. You see red and blue blinking on the window. You won't think "police" for several seconds? Bullshit. You're gonna *look*. The guy comes through the door behind him. Its not ridiculously farfetched. (but, rolling a 20. And getting a power up and +2 onto your already +3 magic fireball. Now, THAT is way more believable. THAT, isn't a person smoking pot while writing.
>
>but you also spend two whole paragraphs describing said app.
This is a tiny sample lifted out of a 5k to 7.5k length chapter. Yes, I spent *all* of two paragraphs describing what diversion MC thinks might buy him a few precious seconds to knock the gun off the table, and get his hands on the guy to have a chance. You speak of two paragraphs, as if I wasted thousands of words describing the clouds.
>
>Are you writing these action scenes while stoned?
sorry there's not enough "goblin girls gone wild" and +7 magic fireballs for your tastes.
>
>Why the fuck is this shit moving so slowly?
You would I suppose prefer single sentences.
"I need a diversion. Whoa, okay. I got this siren app on my phone. I'll use that."
I guess its a stylistic thing. Its a whole paperback novel, not a comic book and I just put the words out of the word balloons into text for you. I do in most cases 5k to 8k chapters. Not 1k to 2k.
>
>Get someone to edit this drivel you faggot
Just for you, I'll make a grade-school edition. Big print, all small words. Do you like the font that was used in "Clifford, the big red dog"
>
Sorry for being cheeky back, I couldn't help it. All fun aside now, you seem to have no real lasting complaints about *how* I write. Its too long seems to be your over-arching complaint. Which is a valid criticism, perhaps. Maybe I'll try boiling down my 5k to 8k chapters? To 2k and see if that approach resonates.

>>24599234
>goblin girls gone wild
Hey man, I'm not even in this fight, why you gotta hurt me?

>>24598467 (OP)
>beware of chicken
I can understand why popslop is appealing to listen to in the background or something while you do laundry.
I can not understand why self referencing pop trope-"comedy" pop slop dominates asia oriented media. Its like "lmao, isn't it funny i love retarded low effort repetitive stories, lamo!" feels like a weird for of cope which ought to be studied.

>>24599237
>Hey man, I'm not even in this fight, why you gotta hurt me?
>
huh? wasn't really fighting, me and the other anon were... being cheeky. Wait... I said "goblin girls gone wild" as a JOKE TITLE. As in, "girls gone wild" reference. If saying "goblin girls gone wild" made you think I was hurting you, then... oh shit. You wrote a WN by that title? Sorry. No disrespect meant. I was just making a joke.

>>24599250
>>beware of chicken
how in the hell is "a day in the life of a chicken" some kind of bestselling WN. Is there some kind of edgy absurdity component everyone forgot to tell me about? I mean, you guys gotta try to see all this from a fresh point of view. Pretend if you will? Your last paperback buying and reading experience, was in 1990-*ish*. I get farther with my writing hobby, go online and... a day in the life of a chicken. Seriously? and you can't see it from my point of view of all this.
All of this would just be a chuckle to me, but all the advice incoming? Contradicts each other.
"People expect sprawl. They wont start a story, until its 40 to 100k."
Then?
"Dude, you spent TWO WHOLE PARAGRAPHS describing something. Make this move faster!"
So, summing up.
make it long, it needs length and sprawl.
But, don't explain anything, just every sentence, something new, whee!
The mage I'm getting in my head, in movie terms? Make it a VERY LONG MOVIE, but? Everything is simple. Quick! Fast cuts, manic editing. Speed, over all else. Like, some kind of "Animaniacs" kid's novel.
I feel like I'm in Gulliver's Travelers. All the absurdity I see? I'm the weird one, though. Is the entire world snorting meth except me?

>>24599257
It's all good I was joking too.

>>24599279
There's no rhyme or reason to it. Some guys are just lucky. Like how do you wring 100k a month on Patreon from a story about an office worker getting isekai'd?

>>24599280
>It's all good I was joking too.
okay. SO, if I write a WN titled "goblin girls gone wild", and insert *obvious* parodies to the goblin girls getting drunk on a sort of vacation, and... the obvious happens. I could be poking fun at the whole genre, but maybe picking up readers by inserting enough tropes. I mean, how many tropes could I pack into this puppy.
1) gotta have loose, hot goblin girls. Any premise, will do. A day in the life of a chicken, or a worm or a rabbit. These, are best selling plots. Hot loose goblin girls? Not a stretch.
2) I'm so sick of the word "harem", gotta blast that trope in its green ass too. Obviously, those goblin girls gone wild? Need to be in a harem.
3) yet people expect smut. And the smuttier, the better. SO. The male MC's harem of hot green goblin girls? Are tall athletic green skinned mommy dommy's
4) obviously, there needs to be magic. Might as well throw in a constant stream of "+3 silver dildo" because made saving throw against goblin girl charm spell attempt.
5) some part of me is afraid people would actually read that.

>>24599303
How lewd does RR allow?

What do you guys think of my opening?


What can I say? Here lies the one-hundred-seventy-third Dark Lord Silithar? It was my name for centuries until I lost it the minute Rory Leo Arulian III, a Paladin, decided to cast his strongest spell, Illumina against me. I was banished across the realms. The ceremonies across the lands rejoicing in my defeat and Rory bringing the age of Blessings upon this world was disgusting.
The fight wasn’t even fair. All I remembered was sitting on my throne drinking some unsweetened iced tea, not the disgusting powdered kind you find in the large cities, but the dried leaf kind — one with a slight nutty taste, when suddenly the hero and his party barged into my room demanding my life. Naturally, it being a five on one battle, I lost. There wasn’t much I could do against these overpowered characters that spent far too long in the Dinosaur Forest mastering their skills and honing their craft. I was just a simple Dark Lord enjoying my iced tea. Which by the way I hope is still resting on my armchair untouched, if not, I certainly hope someone remembered to place it on a coaster. I hate having residue rings.
In the meantime, by all means, call me Abyzon Goreheed the Eighteenth. I’ve always liked the name, but I never had a chance to use it. Let me apologize in advance, for I would normally hold this conversation in a far more hospitable place, but the Fairy currently occupies my beautiful Castle Doomsday. From what I gathered, she aims to redecorate my house by growing large trees for herself and her fairy friends. I can’t believe it. After being in my family’s possession for over five-hundred years, it would be I to lose our heirloom to a bunch of ragtag adventurers mystified by their own foolish arrogance. Nonetheless, Fate has sent me to this predicament and it's been a while since I had a roof over my head. I can’t stay living near this pig pen for the rest of my life. I fully intend to take back what was mine. My sloth-like behavior the past five centuries was a mistake. My body became weak and I’ve forgotten a multitude of spells including my ultimate spell, Plague Void.

>>24599313
That’s a problem us Dark Lords have after being defeated by heroes. Not only do we lose all our worldly possessions, we reincarnate into a new body and all prior spells and experiences become lost to the void and we once again must gather newfound strength, intelligence, and abilities to challenge the hero of the world. It’s just the way of the Dark Lords. We get defeated, reincarnate, come back stronger, take over the world, another group of heroes defeat us, we reincarnate, and the cycle repeats. It keeps things nice and balanced. I had the misfortune of experiencing defeat this time. Rory removed me from my throne and now it’s my turn to return the favor. It would be a shame if another Dark Lord defeats Rory before I have my revenge.
Unfortunately, such a task would not be so simple. It’s a numbers game. Even if I were to maximize my potential, I wouldn’t be able to defeat all five of the heroes at once. It’s impossible. I’m going to have to find some allies myself, but finding other talent around the world willing to join my cause would be the most difficult of tasks.

>>24599313
>>24599316
Many of my minions fell to their hands and are out of commission—even I was exiled to this small town. Now I must gather new ones, but, years of living in my castle caused me to cease communication with people I do not know. I also don't have the most stellar of reputations, being a Dark Lord and all, trust and loyalty would be hard to seek out, but it must be done. If there was any consolation to this predicament, it’s feeling this burning flame of stubbornness and arrogance fueling a desire for accomplishment; a feeling long forgotten.
Don’t mind the smell, I’ve been living near the pile of night soil for the past three months. I would hold this conversation in a much more hospitable area, but alas it’s now impossible. Cleaning myself inside the nearby river where the townsfolk dumped their excrement was the only option I had. I dried myself off and readied my quest. An adventure to take revenge on the four and their little squatter friend too.
All I needed was a place to start. The town of Stoneberg, nestled away in the middle of Stoneberg Valley, located at the foot of Stoneberg Mountains, near Stoneberg River, slightly past Stoneberg Lake, and known primarily as a spot for merchants to gather a bite to eat, a place to rest, and possibly trade a few trinkets for some stone tools created here was a small place, with the population size of about fifty or so, with few amenities; enough for the locals, but not enough to claim luxury. It wasn't ideal, but it's all I have and I hope someone here would take the time to assist me. Self-sufficient in food and water, it would make for a pleasant place for those with less ambition and small dreams.
So here I sit watching a child taking her time trying to take out as many leaves as possible from a dried fountain. There was nobody else around and being a Dark Lord, it’s only natural that I step forward and speak to a little girl all alone without any parental supervision.
"Good day, can you help me?"
"Hi! No, I can’t help you. I have to clean the leaves inside the fountain. Grandma said if I cleaned it, she’ll turn on the fountain again."
"Is that all? If I help you clean the fountain, would you help me then?"
"Sure I guess," she said, shrugging her shoulders.
I stuck my hand out, ready to spread my fire magic to burn the leaves to ash. The wind blew and the little girl stared with anticipation. Nothing. That’s right, I can’t cast my spells anymore. I’m only level 1. I haven’t unlocked any spells to cast.
"What happened? I thought you were a super cool wizard ready to blow away all the leaves inside and then we’ll be done. But you can’t do it! Why?" the little girl asked.
"I don’t currently have any spells," I replied.

>>24599309
>How lewd does RR allow?
I'm not the expert. Just started putting a few chapters on there, to try it. Because everyone else seems to hold it to be some gold standard site.
I can tell youon the "little" WN site I'm on? I've put positively pornographic fetish erotica up, and as long as the cover and title are decent? No one says anything.
PS - I saved smug goblin. If I try a chapter of this GGGW experiment just for humor? I'll look at that pic rel for inspiration.

>>24599279
Why do retards like you that have no idea what you're referencing feel the need to share your opinion on it? The story is about a guy who farms and has spirit beasts. It's written in a genre based off stories from Chinese mythology and folklore. It's not some new thing. These ideas are older than the language you speak, nigger. If you want to criticism something it's best to understand the basics of it.

We were all standing around, kind of verbally breaking our arms patting ourselves on the back. It was over. We had done it. We were planning where to eat for the celebration dinner and drinks. Elise had forgot her cell phone where she had been parked, it was in her car. She went to retrieve it smiling. She wanted a few pictures and videos. Of us all smiling, celebrating. Life? Was just so perfect at that moment.

That was when "it" struck. I was standing near to Wiz but not right up on him. I was glancing over at something someone had said that had been witty. I was smiling and laughing. I was waiting for Elise to get back for the pictures and videos. Others were getting them, she was tired of putting it off and would be back momentarily.

I heard an odd sound. Not really scary. Like a snap, a crack, a pop. Something like that. Not unlike a firecracker a block or two distant. There was a nearly instantaneous blow to my shoulder, too. Which was weird. No one was near enough to strike me. It felt like a hard punch had been delivered to my shoulder… but by a ghost. Not the center of my shoulder, a little to the outside of center. It spun my torso a little bit.

Directly after the phantom blow though, was a weird sound that followed the firecracker, and it was almost but not quite after my blow. A sort of slap or squish, a kind of ka-plah. It reminded me of the time I lit up a soup can, sealed and full just right with a perfect shot from my bullwhip, and it exploded just right. This… wet slap.

My eyes burned and stung. Weird bits of… something were in my eyes, my mouth, in my nostril's edges. I felt a burning sensation, along with the punch then the numb shoulder, whatever the hell it was. That wasn't the worst of "it".

I was coming back to see Wiz's face. He was smiling, I was catching him just looking at me, smiling like he always did. I was starting to smile back when the thing happened. His body lurched in a weird fashion. As if someone had kicked him in the center of his back, low, perhaps behind his solar plexus. That portion of his lower torso, the abdominal general area thrust forwards and he fell back immediately.

His face went from a smile, to a sort of what the hell, who just kicked me… that kind of look. He sort of undulated, a wave traveled out from the blow, then he collapsed. His legs buckled, and his hands were on his lower torso. He was staring, dumbfounded. He looked up at me, and the look in his eyes froze me solid. He just shook his head, flabbergasted.

I screamed. Others were yelling, shouting. People were running, diving, rolling. I was transfixed looking down at him. He just smiled at me. He Bluetooth-ed me, the way we can do. Sort of a facial shrug. Hun? There's nothing I can do. I dropped and tried to cover his… can't even call it a wound, really. It was more like a sort of rounded wedge or canoe shaped opening.

As if a cartoon character, swallows an explosive? But not funny, more macabre and sickening. I could smell, weird smells. A burning smell of some kind was mild, overpowered by the reek of… shit, bowels opened, bile? Something. Something that smelled like raw sausage, too. What's in the casing, not the whole thing sealed up.

There was too much blood, too quick. And other than the blood, there was an odd sort of not quite clear thicker substance. It dribbled and ran, but not like the blood did. I reflexively tried to stop the opening up with my hands, but it was useless.

Then I heard smaller firecracker noises. Many, one after another, in a long series. I could see what looked like Elise off in the distance, standing over something, her one arm out. Hearing those little pops. The long series of them ended, then they began again and about as many went off in another series of the tiny firecracker noises. There was one final pop, by itself. Then that noise was gone. It took seconds, to begin and end. Just an instantaneous blow from a ghost on both of us, then Elise and her noises in the distance and off a bit.

Everyone had been screaming at me, to get down, get behind something? I never did listen. I wouldn't leave him. I remember putting myself down on the ground on that far side of him. Not thinking how stupid it was, that I was trying to instinctively shield him with my own body. I was getting screamed at by people going hoarse trying to get me to listen and move, but I wouldn't.

It all seemed like forever, but we're talking seconds start to finish. I don't know how long it took for that ambulance to get there, but the others were all around us. T shirts were jammed into that canoe shaped opening, and others ripped and tied around it, trying to extend time before… but you just knew it wasn't going to work. It was as if it could bleed right through the fabric like it wasn't even there. Like a hose runs through fabric. Like little kids crowded around a hose on a summer day, just red fruit punch instead of water coming through the shirt held over the hose.

I tried to grasp the edges of the opening, and stretch them together some. Because in my mind a smaller hole had to be better, right? I tried pinching at little squirting things down inside the canoe. I got a high pressure squirt in the eye once for my efforts. I didn't care.

The ambulance was there, and how long that took, who knows. I climbed up in with him. Some damn fool was trying to get me down on a cart? I grabbed this smaller guy by the throat and just tossed him off and went back to right beside him. The other one, had little stainless scissor like contraptions, the kind you can clamp shut. He was probing around, trying gamely to stop little squirting things just like I had almost succeeded with my fingers, but had just failed.

The flow went down a good bit, but… was that because the fluid was low, or because the guy putting clamps in the right places was having effect

Currently trying to blow the retard above me up with my mind alone.

>>24599320
Nice. I'm writing a WN about a human prince who ends up in a village of goblin women. I wish us both untold success.

>>24598728
>>24598737
Very 'stream of thoughts' piece. Not much of a fan, it lacks timing and direction, You describe an app,then say that left handed are gay (?) then a fight; all in the same loose style.
I would say that either the reader will love or hate it. I hate it, sorry.

And please, link your posts next time or put it in an image or pastebin.

The story is about a guy who farms and has spirit beasts. It's written in a genre based off stories from Chinese mythology and folklor>>24599359
>Why do retards like you that have no idea what you're referencing feel the need to share your opinion on it?
Doesn't seem to stop anyone else.
>It's not some new thing.
this is all new shit to me, nigger.
>
>These ideas are older than the language you speak, nigger. If you want to criticism something it's best to understand the basics of it.
Look anon. These plots and tropes are tres bizarre, when encountered for the first time. Excuse the *fuck* outta me, for not having studied ancient chinese folklore so I understand "the day in the life of a chicken" and the "spirit farmer".
See the snark coming back at you? Why don't we both hit the reset button, and you can try to see things from another point of view, what someone sees this all as when they first encounter it. Sorry I ruffled your delicate little feathers.

>>24599389
>Excuse the *fuck* outta me, for not having studied ancient chinese folklore
I'm not going to excuse you. I want you to spend a few hours reading about the Three Sovereigns of Chinese mythology and about Shennong. When you have properly educated yourself you will be put on posting probation for at least two threads where you will need to think very hard before you click the submit button.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shennong

>>24599313
>Rory Leo Arulian III, a Paladin, decided to cast his strongest spell, Illumina
This is very mechanic, 'here is this guy, he's x. He cast his spell, y'. Needs work on the prose.
>The town of Stoneberg, nestled away in the middle of Stoneberg Valley, located at the foot of Stoneberg Mountains, near Stoneberg River, slightly past Stoneberg Lake, and known primarily as a spot for merchants to gather a bite to eat, a place to rest, and possibly trade a few trinkets for some stone tools created here was a small place, with the population size of about fifty or so, with few amenities; enough for the locals, but not enough to claim luxury. It wasn't ideal, but it's all I have and I hope someone here would take the time to assist me. Self-sufficient in food and water, it would make for a pleasant place for those with less ambition and small dreams.
The lore dumping sparsed before this part was ok, but this one is a single large truckfull of it. Cut it or edit it.

The parts that aren't dumping lore or explaining are enjoyable, comedic affair, and I suppose this work is a comedy? Or at least light hearted. Has potential in my eyes. Good luck!

>>24599313
>>24599316
>>24599318

I enjoyed it. I'd replace the line about Stoneberg being known for merchant's lunches and pull the rug by making it's chief export something completely opposite of mining. It seemed like that was the joke you were going for.

Would read further.

>>24599386
>Very 'stream of thoughts' piece. Not much of a fan, it lacks timing and direction, You describe an app,then say that left handed are gay (?) then a fight; all in the same loose style.
>I would say that either the reader will love or hate it. I hate it, sorry.
no no, that's fine.
*I* didn't say left handed people were gay, after describing the diversion app.
Christ.
The bad guy has the girl upstairs in an old farmhouse. The MC got into the basement, and is listening. Its a very old farmhouse. The floor? Isnt tongue in groove, there's thin gabs between floorboards. He locates the girl and pokes her boot to let her know he's found her. SHE is talking ostensibly to the bad guy? But feeding him information.
She's already told him other things, that was her telling him that "the guy is left handed". (something you would want to know when you get into it with him)
And, that's actually my rough draft of it. It'll smooth out some in the editing after a couple passes.
But? Thanks. Even though you didn't like it, someone else might.

>>24599384
>Nice. I'm writing a WN about a human prince who ends up in a village of goblin women. I wish us both untold success.
you too. can the village goblin girls be cute mommy dommy's?
*kek*

>>24599363
>>24599365
Mostly, same issue with the 'stream of thoughts' prose that I spoke in >>24599386 .
>He Bluetooth-ed me, the way we can do. Sort of a facial shrug.
Is this some ability/skill of his or...? What? He makes a face to them, and it's 'Bluetooth-ed'?

Otherwise, mostly the same, divisive prose. Reads a little weirdly.

>>24599400
>I'm not going to excuse you. I want you to spend a few hours reading about the Three Sovereigns of Chinese mythology and about Shennong.
>
hey, great. You? Do you. And have fun going and doing that. All the best, anon.

>>24599411
>no no, that's fine.
>*I* didn't say left handed people were gay, after describing the diversion app.
>Christ.
Oh, sorry, I misunderstood things.
But, I have to say, I do enjoy your 'stream of thought' posts, they kinda make my mind work a little, but the writing doesn't do the same thing. Weird.

>>24599415
A few will have to be motherly and intelligent so I don't get called a white saviour enthusiast when the prince introduces them to indoor plumbing.

>>24599416
>Mostly, same issue with the 'stream of thoughts' prose that I spoke in >>24599386 .
>>He Bluetooth-ed me, the way we can do. Sort of a facial shrug.
>Is this some ability/skill of his or...? What? He makes a face to them, and it's 'Bluetooth-ed'?
>Otherwise, mostly the same, divisive prose. Reads a little weirdly.
>
anon? I like your little review of my (tiny) excerpts out of a chapter. The "bluetoothing". Those two are (were, lol) a couple. throughout the long book. like any couple they develop the natural ability to communicate by glances, eye contact, things like that. Much earlier, that guy's buddy asks him something. he looks at her to ask her opinion? She gives him a look, then he answers. The frind asks... "does she control you by Bluetooth or wi-fi or some shit like that?"
And so, anytime they communicate by facial expression or glance or eye contact... I call it "bluetoothing". (silent communication)
>
I have seen authors make up their own words for things, and it worked for them. It seemed original. I tried it and it doesn't work for me. Instead, I'll use an existing word (here, bluetooth) in some novel way.
>
even if you don't like it, I still like your critique. Its reasonable and you have rational explanations. thanks.

>>24599403
>The lore dumping sparsed before this part was ok, but this one is a single large truckfull of it. Cut it or edit it.
Just noticed that it was a joke... It's very late where I live btw.

>Took me from 7am to 8pm to write 2,500 words

>>24599431
>A few will have to be motherly and intelligent so I don't get called a white saviour enthusiast when the prince introduces them to indoor plumbing.
>
Yes. That is GGGW DVD #17. "Goblin Girls Gone WIld; co-ed shower edition."
And? The mommy-goblin joins the shower fun, heh heh heh.
I'm sitting here, trying to imagine how i'd write that romance scene.
>
The novel feel of her green skin.What looked like scales, felt like fine tooled leather under my hands. I've heard it said, that goblin women stink? Yet its not been my experience. I bury my face in her neck when I get home, and I inhale deep. Leather, like your favorite coat. And when we make love? The skin changes. Tiny little bumps that move, under the leather. The way a horse can move a flank skin to remove an errant fly. I touch her unexpectedly,the reflexive flinch makes my heart skip a beat. And once excited, her pores seem to open and emit... some earthy scent. I close my eyes, and I'm wrestling on the forest floor with my green lover. I can smell the humus and the damp, mixed with the mint and the wildflower grasses. One we're both sweaty, hers takes off. She feels like living breathing leather, and smells like a musky light oil. Its not unpleasant, its intoxicating. What I only felt and smelled when I touched or kissed my human girlfriends down there? I simply smell and feel all over her. It is dirty, but in such a good way.
I get away with nothing. The eyes of every green skinned girl I meet for a couple days afterwards? That knowing smile, that wink. They know, they can smell it on me. My big secret? I fool no one. I asked her about it. She smiled, and said she'd marked me with her scent. Claimed me for her own. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, and would you please pass the butter. It was scary the first time. The sudden change in her demeanor. The eyes though, they seem to glow when they become aroused to any degree. I have marks where fangs have punctured my shoulder. I bleed from her love, but its enjoyable when under her spell. The tongue, the lips. After such a sharp bite, the pain stops. It tingles, as soon as she puts her tongue to it. And every time, before we're done. I'm a hot writhing mess. Scratched and bit, then kissed, licked and the tingling sensations. Just when I'm spent, the next one takes full advantage of my mewling, shuddering state. These girls don't make love, they come in with shock and awe tactics. I'd swear I'm having a heart attack and dying... but I always wake up the next morning. With the silliest smile on my face.
How could I ever stop.

>>24599365
>It was as if it could bleed right through the fabric like it wasn't even there. Like a hose runs through fabric. Like little kids crowded around a hose on a summer day, just red fruit punch instead of water coming through the shirt held over the hose.
It bleeds through fabric like a hose runs through fabric? Like little kids gathered around a hose? What that fuck are you talking about? Did you have stroke during the composing of this, or are you naturally this retarded?

>>24599363
>As if someone had kicked him in the center of his back, low, perhaps behind his solar plexus. That portion of his lower torso, the abdominal general area thrust forwards and he fell back immediately.
This nigga don’t know what a stomach is

>>24599580
>t was as if it could bleed right through the fabric like it wasn't even there. Like a hose runs through fabric. Like little kids crowded around a hose on a summer day, just red fruit punch instead of water coming through the shirt held over the hose.
>It bleeds through fabric like a hose runs through fabric? Like little kids gathered around a hose? What that fuck are you talking about? Did you have stroke during the composing of this, or are you naturally this retarded?
>
Perhaps you're not a native English speaker. This could get lost in translation, I am sure.
The wound? Is b-i-g. Blood is coming out... ahem... like a water faucet.
Now. As children? We would all drink out of the hose on a hot summer day. Someone would always try to stop the water, or wrap a shirt around it. The hose? Still squirts water out, right through the shirt. (every little kid knows this)
Now, follow this h-u-g-e metaphor.
The guy got shot with a rifle, and everyone is jamming T-shirts into the wound, trying to keep him alive till the ambulance gets there. The blood? Is coming RIGHT out thru the improvised bandages. Just like a hose running full blast right through a T-shirt.
I really didn't think this was that advanced of a metaphor to use.
Does a coupe of sentences need tuned up for clunky-ness? Yeah. The overall idea comes right through though.

>>24599598
>We would all drink out of the hose on a hot summer day
No one is drinking out of hoses you fucking lunatic. I’m sure the lead poisoning is one of several reasons you write the way you do.
>The blood? Is coming RIGHT out thru the improvised bandages
Then describe it like a “jet” or “stream” of blood. Not this retarded “cumming thru” or red-fruit-punch hose shit. You’re fucking retarded lmao

>>24599589
>This nigga don’t know what a stomach is
If I "kicked you in the stomach", it provides an image where your arms and legs come out towards me kicking you, you curl around the impact. Think of a comic book, someone getting kicked.
I want the *reverse* image. Kicked from the *back*, with the same "comic book" response. He's been blasted and gut shot with a deer rifle, from not too far away. I'm trying to describe the devastating impact and shock wave.

>>24599606
>solar plexus
>lower torso
>abdominal general area
Just say stomach bro

>>24599604
nta but I have drank from a hose as a kid. the whole shirt and hose description still made no sense to me but that's besides the point. there ain't nothin wrong with a bit of leaded hose water.

>>24599604
everyone out in the country drinks out of hoses, city slicker.

>>24599609
when you're a kid you play dumb games like trying to clog the hose. have any of you gone outside?

well, every asshole in the world? Will easily come up with...
"the blood was a steady stream, a jet of deep red."
Its called.. a metaphor. You liken one thing, to another. And the more disparate the two things are that you draw together for your metaphor, the more useful it is. Here, the gaping wound fauceting blood out. Jamming Shirts into it to try to hold on for th ambulance to arrive. The blood is squirting wight through, though. Just like... a T short on a hose doesn't stop it.
QUESTION. Where does the lead in the hose come from? Yes, hose water sucks... for ten seconds. Then its cold and you don't taste hose anymore. Now, the water coming out that hose? Is the same water you make coffee from, out of your tap. You're silly. All toddlers (and dogs!) drink out of hoses in summer.
But the hose is spouting red fruit punch (blood).
Are metaphors and similes not accepted techniques in WN?

>>24599606
>He's been blasted and gut shot with a deer rifle, from not too far away. I'm trying to describe the devastating impact and shock wave.
Dude, do you have any idea how powerful deer rifles are? It has ripped through you before you have any idea what happened. There's no time for any comic moves and shockwaves. You just suddenly have an ugly-ass hole in you. The best part is how the bullet usually turns into a spin when it hits you, does a fun series of pirouettes in your flesh, before exiting, tearing the wound much bigger than it should be. And that happens in the tiniest fraction of a second. You just drop in unspeakable pain and it'll take surgeons weeks to stitch you back together if you somehow survive.

>>24599614
>have any of you gone outside
let's say you are skateboarding with your friends. it's 105f (40 somethin C) outside and you're gonna fuckin pass out cuz you're so thirsty. what do you do? walk up to a random person house, turn on their hose, have a drink, wet your hair and then get back on your board and let the wind cool you down. simple as.

>>24599614
>when you're a kid you play dumb games like trying to clog the hose. have any of you gone outside?
not today, kids don't. You must drink bottled water mommy buys, and you sit inside and play video games.

>>24599616
>And the more disparate the two things are that you draw together for your metaphor, the more useful it is
No. The more disparate the two things are, the more likely you will trip over yourself using retarded analogies to describe something as simple as blood leaking out of a bandage. You could even mention the blood spurts out in sync with the heartbeat, the same way a leaking faucet rhythmically drips water. Either way, you are completely out of your depth.

LUK noble was dethroned by an INT commoner.

>>24599627
>blonde
>int
Does not compute

took a hiatus from /lit/ how long ago did this thread split from /sffg/ ?

>>24599637
>from /sffg/
GTFO

>>24599617
>There's no time for any comic moves and shockwaves.
Really? News to me, and the ultra slow motion videos of ballistic gel blocks getting shot by various calibers. (YT can be your friend here) It happens quick, its devastating. But there's is a lot of energy being transferred. There definitely is a shockwave you can see ripple out. Its called "cavitation".
If you really wanna have some fun deer hunting, do what I did once. I'm a long time reloader, so I can. I scored 185 grain jacketed flat points. You light a deer up a hundred yards away with a 300 win mag shooting flat soft points? You'll see some "comic book" gyrations. Some of these hits were pretty dramatic. I once found a shard of shoulder bone? Stuck into the tree like a nail pounded in. Was a good day.

>>24599636
A dump stat is a stat you don't put points in, not a stat you dump all your points in.

>>24599641
>the ultra slow motion videos of ballistic gel blocks
Next time, check out exactly how much they sped up those videos.

>>24599644
Oh, so you like dump the stat itself, not the points. I've learned something today.

>>24599637
It split from /wg/. Didn't browse that thread so I'm not sure when it did. Maybe around two months.

>>24599639
can you name a single webnovel that is not Sci-Fi or Fantasy related?

>>24599648
this thread split from /wg/, not /sffg/, and we don't want their refugees here

>>24599647
ah okay, fair enough. it seemed like half the /sffg/ thread used to be dedicated to webnovel slop (which i read)
>>24599651
i regret to inform you that i am here to stay sir

>>24599653
Anytime I glanced in /sffg/ it was a bunch of grandpas talking about shit that came out half a century ago. Would have stuck around if I saw people talking about web novels tbdesu.

>>24598601
>do not archive" settings
Is that something I have to turn on?

>>24599309
post your lewd websloppa to QuestionableQuesting

>>24599627
You know, a bimbofication litRPG could possibly be entertaining but it's going for the bluesky tranny audience so yeah, no thanks.

The Imperium's Fourth Chevauchee into the Confederacy of Independent Planets has ended in unmitigated disaster. The Imperium, trapped in a bubble of byzantine squabbling, scrambles to reorganize what remains of its theater forces in the face of an impending counteroffensive, though incompetent civilian-military leadership plagues the Confederacy all the same.

Emperor Mikhail V von Barbarossa has appointed his most trusted military commander, Jonathan Churchill the Black Prince, to lead a diversion using the mobile asteroid fortress Zeta to bide time for the Imperium.

The Black Prince succeeds in dropping an orbital colony on the Confederate planet of Ben Nevis, and makes a mad dash to capitalize on his true objective: the penetration of the Confederacy's halo Maginot Line protecting the Confederacy's planet-capital of Fasnakyle!

Confederate high command acts swiftly in assembling a strike team ahead of the main naval force gathering at Maginot Line Point Farragaig. One such member is Victoria Schwarzenberger, a Mobile Trooper ace pilot who is Neo sapiens: a next step in humanity's evolution exhibiting sharp spatial awareness.

As Victoria and her team race against time to the unfolding flashpoint, the stage is set for the beginning of the end of the hundred-and-fifty-year galactic war between the two entities.

What I've been thinking of rewriting it as:
It's a race against time for Victoria Schwarzenberger. She and the rest of her task force are in intense pursuit of the Imperium's mobile space asteroid fortress, Zeta. Its very trajectory threatens to destroy the military orbital installations protecting her homeplanet of Faskanykle.

Viictoria is an ace among aces as a Mobile Trooper pilot, a Neo Sapiens: A next step in human evolution with incredibly heightened spatial awareness abilities. She is without equal among her peers and the enemy—and yet she must confront the most fearsome opponent she has ever faced. Is there truly any hope for Victoria to save Faskanykle? Can she prevail against the odds and what may be her toughest waltz yet? The war reaches its theatrical overture to the beginning of the end of this fruitless, eternal war.

>>24599627
>posted 10 days ago, 7 chapters, already 77 followers
I might as well just give up man

>>24599695
Just realized the first part of the mesg got deleted but its the original synopsis I came up with, and after the suggestions for AGOCT it got me thinking to rewrite it so its less flowery. What do you guys think, better than before?

>>24599695
>Confederate planet of Ben Nevis
Next to confederate planet of Ben Dover.

>>24599695
>>24599700
too many proper nouns
too much information
you've described the main conflict without enough immediacy
too fruity

>>24599722
For the revised one, or you talking about the original one?

See the Vizier. He’s dressed in robes that wrap around his thin body and drag on the cobblestone bricks like oil spills. He’s got a scowl on his face because he’s always scowling.
The hall is dim and in the depths he reaches the door to the inner chamber. It’s hidden behind a silver-armored guard, halberd erect beside him. Chants come from inside the chamber. The door shakes. White light peeks through the cracks on the edges.
“Move,” the Vizier says.
The guard flips up his visor to reveal a gray-haired man. “The Lady said nobody is to enter. Especially you, Vizier,” he says mockingly.
The Vizier is annoyed. His long nose wrinkles. He reaches a hand through the fold of his robe to the instrument on his hip. He thrusts the other hand toward the man. He mutters three words.
The guard’s eyes go wide. He drops his halberd and clutches at his throat. He chokes and tries to shout for help but he can’t.
The Vizier produces a sickle from his robe. He hacks at the man’s throat. It’s dirty, it doesn’t cut the head clean off, it’s stopped by the spinal cord. It’s good enough, judging by the blood and the empty look in the man’s eyes. He collapses into a paroxysm of flesh and steel.
He kicks the corpse. “Halfwit.” He drags it to the side so you can’t see it from the chamber. He tucks his sickle back into his robe.
Inside the chamber. The room has a high ceiling. The chamber’s dark, ancient, been there a thousand years and it’ll be there a thousand more. Two dozen white-robed priests gather on their knees around seven stone obelisks in a circle formation, runes inscribed into each pillar. Their eyes are closed. They grasp each other’s hands and pray in chants that don’t give you a chance to catch your breath. Words on top of words.
The royal family stands away from the ritual. The queen and her three girls. There’s a boy, isn’t there? He’s missing. Probably wasn’t invited. Useless kid. Might mess up the ritual.
They stare at him with undisguised scorn. They talk in low voices. The queen wants to approach him but fears disrupting the ritual. Whatever. Let him watch.
It’s time. He steps between two priests into the center of the glowing circle. They’re staring at him, now, wide-eyed but unwilling to stop their chants and risk the wrath of the queen.
The queen realizes her mistake. Her eyes are wide. She’s drawn a sword from her waist and so have her girls; they’re getting close. “Stop, Vizier!” the queen shouts. “Stop him! Where are the guards?”
He draws a small pouch from his robe and empties the glittering blue dust into the air. He chants a quick spell. The dust disappears and a blue barrier appears. It surrounds the priests and the Vizier.

>>24599727
The priests keep chanting but they’re nervous. They blink and sweat drips down their faces. The queen and princesses are beating their fists on the barrier. They’re mouthing words—stop the ritual, they’re saying, judging by their lips, but the sound doesn’t make it through and the priests aren’t looking at them, they’re focused on him.
The light grows brighter until it’s all you can see. Every crack in the floor, every crook and cranny of the walls, every spiderweb is bright and lucid.
He closes his eyes until the redness through his lids is gone and the ritual is complete. The priests collapse in exhaustion. Seven stand in the circle, squinting and rubbing their eyes, standing or sleeping or on their knees. They’re boys and girls, teenagers. None of them can be over twenty.
He grabs the first by his collar, the most dangerous looking one, a strong kid with black hair and a sturdy frame. Must be Justice. The kid grabs at his arm and the Vizier slices his throat with the sickle in a quick motion.
The rest of them, five in total, stare at him with wide eyes. They woke each other up. One’s missing. There’s supposed to be seven. Which one is missing?
A blonde girl approaches him, chin tucked, bouncing on her feet; a fighter. The look in her eyes is halfway hopeful. Courage, he thinks. The rest of the heroes huddle against the barrier, cowering like sheep.
She swings a looping hook and he ducks under it. He swings the sickle in a wide arc. She moves quickly, nearly out of reach. It’s a thin cut on the tip of her nose but the face bleeds the most. It dribbles down her chin in red waves.
She doesn’t falter. The look in her eyes is hard. She steps in and extends her front arm for a jab. It’s out of reach but it’s another quick step on her front foot and she hits him square in the mouth. It splits his lip. His lip is hot from the punch and he’s angry, now, and has to stop her before the rest get smart.
He steps forward, readying the sickle at his side. She’s staring at it. He’s like a boxer who only has an overhand right. Dodge the punch, win the fight.

>>24599728
His left hand goes to his robe. With his right he feints a swing and she leaps back, but he produces from his robe a vial of liquid that he crushes. He closes his eyes and the vial explodes with a blinding flash. Her eyes go wide in surprise and she tries to cover them up with her arms. He steps forward and slashes again at the now defenseless girl. Another spray of blood. There goes Courage.
The rest cower, two in the front, two in the back. The two in the front guard the other two with wide arms in protective gestures. But they’re only gestures.
He looks them over. Time is running out, he has to finish up. But he needs to know which is missing. The two in the front: Charity and Diligence, maybe. They look the part. It leaves Love, Humility, and Mercy. He can’t tell.
The barrier cracks. He curses. He steps forward and they throw themselves at him desperately, pigs to the slaughter. These aren’t fighters like the blonde. He claims the two and it leaves a boy and a girl.
The boy steps forward. He doesn’t fight, it’s a sacrifice. Humility, then. That leaves the girl as Love or Mercy.
The barrier shatters. The queen and her princesses swarm in. He curses again and his sickle claims the final hero. Blood pours off his sickle into the large pool on the cobblestone. He pulls from his robe a final trick—another corked vial, this one bigger than the last—and throws it on the floor, smashing it beneath his boot. It releases another flash and a thick cloud of smoke that fills your lungs and makes you cough.
“Find him,” the queen says between coughs. “The heroes are dead!” she shouts, hoping to gather guards from the corridor. “Capture the Vizier!”
The Vizier drops to the floor and finds the upraised brick that reveals the hidden trapdoor. He knows its location well. He crawls in darkness through the thin tunnel, elbow after elbow, knee after knee. It takes him to an underused corridor in the servant’s wing, near one of the exits. He pushes the loosened bricks out, torchlight filling the tunnel with each removed brick. He removes the final one and squeezes out.
“Vizier? What are you doing?”
It’s the boy, Prince Alain. He’s leaning against the wall. A sword is fastened to his belt.
The Vizier attempts to walk past and ignore him but the boy moves to block him.
“Move, boy! I’ve no time for this.” Shouting is coming from down the corridor, toward the heart of the palace. They’re waking up the servants, enlisting the whole palace to find him.
“What are they shouting about, Vizier?” Alain asks. “Why do you look so nervous?” A hand goes to his sword.

>>24599729
He didn’t intend to claim another, but if the boy is so eager to die then he’ll grant the request. Another slash produces another splatter of blood on the squeaky clean cobblestone. He steps over the corpse and scuttles down the corridor to the back exit. It opens to a dark, muddy street where the servants bring the supplies in.
He looks both ways because he always looks both ways. Then he tucks the sickle to his hip and steps out into the street.

>>24599727
>See the Vizier
I've lost track of how many poor imitations of Blood Meridian's opening line I've read

>>24599732
I knew I wouldn't get away with it

>>24598795
Book 1 is YA to the core. An above average YA but still YA. I'd say it gets interesting before the mid of the book , during the Squire candidate FFA.

Books 2 and 3 are military slopkino. Then it takes off and becomes the 5/5 people are talking about.

Out of deep-rooted paranoia, I give my work files codenames like "project glass", or "project rainy", and then a year later I browse the folders and am like "wtf is all this shit?"

I've reread 20 pages of my writing so far, for the first time ever. I've been following the "just write, lmao, edit later" advice. I wish I didn't have to have eyes.

>>24599762
It's not like what you've written magically changes whether you edit now or later. Just keep writing.

>>24599734
It's just too famous at this point.
the rest is well-written but maybe not to everyone's taste; I personally don't mind your generous use of "is" and "are" as I think the terse observational style works well as we follow the Vizier but some might hit you with the "you're teeeellling not shoooooowing!!". The immediacy of the present tense can be fun but its narrowness is harder to pull off especially when the scene isn't as action-packed as this.
More generally, I'm also not sure if the tone and execution appeals to the web serial scene. Without knowing anything else, it feels better suited to tradpub audiences. What's your premise?

Hello wng, I've decided to write an opening chapter, or section really. I've never really written anything in the style for a web novel. Or much at all really, but I'd appreciate if I could get some honest thoughts.

https://pastebin.com/Mrsis1Vf

Why do chuds love blood meridian so much

>>24599805
The rest will hopefully be more appealing to slop readers. Basic premise is that Prince Alain is reincarnated as the Hero of Love (which is seen as a joke, a useless hero) and sent on a quest to revive the rest of the heroes to fight the demon lords.
This was the prologue. I felt present tense was fitting. I intend to write in past for the rest (save maybe an interlude or two).
I tried LitRPG but I can't do the stats shit, hopefully people are willing to give it a shot anyway.

>>24599813
miring how cormac can write without punctuation and making run on sentences good literature?

>>24599821
LitRPG isn't compulsory, I think the reincarnation thing already ticks a big box for the slop readership. Progression elements would tick another if you think that sorta thing would suit what you're writing without it feeling shoehorned in.
>...the prologue... present tense was fitting
I see the vision. good luck

>>24599806
You succeeded in making me want to read more. I want to know what happens next. That is the only thing that matters in my opinion.

>>24599821
>I tried LitRPG but I can't do the stats shit
Good. I have fatigue from litrpg sloppa. You can succeed just fine without it.

>nonhuman mc
>it's either an incubus, a dragon or some eldritch abomination

>>24599891
Or, worse, it's a woman

>>24598795
It doesn't get better to be honest.

It's more of a sunk cost kind of reading where at some point, you've read this much, might as well convince yourself it was a good read than it actually is.

Most fans usually are wuxia/xianxia fags that could go binge 1000+ chapters of putrid slop and see one decent (NOT GOOD, JUST DECENT) chapter, and every single ounce of frustration is immediately erased from their minds.

>>24599821
Good luck to you, Anon. Word of warning, people get pissed when tenses change, so you might get a complaint or two, even if it's intentional

>no tense changes
>no perspective changes
so many slop readers just want to slurp up that slop with optimised dopamine pathways without too much unnecessary neuron activity, huh

>>>24598695
What about the critique "X character is too cartoonish"?
When a character has 3 lines.
I feel like in writing communities where critiques are treated as currency, people come up with weirdest form of critique to fill word count.

>>24600044
This concerns me greatly as someone whose writing is inspired by the prose of authors like Wells

>>24599891
are there any mcs where they are a larva and either refuse undergo metamorphosis or are otherwise unable to do so, so they remain one?

>>24599806
Space before paragraphs aren't needed for web novels.
More of a question than a critic, but why the use of japanese quotation marks, stylistic choice?
Zombie/ghoul protagonist? Looks interesting, good luck.

>>24600061
that sounds miserable to read
just a lil dude wriggling around

>>24600044
Absolutely. I had early perspective shifts, which were fairly telegraphed in the first lines to make it obvious who was talking, but readers still whined that they didn't get it. I now straight up put X's POV before any change.

>>24600090
The trick is simple , like in all writing: the readers must crave for that new pov. Doesn't matter how shit it's done technically.

>>24598548
>>24598521
https://rentry.org/theprecepts

>>24600131
>All the best. Failure to read this document gives other users the right to make fun of you for complaining about poor readership.
Then it's revealed that anon posted two chapters and is upset that he got <100 views.

>>24600131
wtf anon im looking through and you clearly dont have a good idea of how rr works
the "first 20 days" line is especially hilarious. there is no algorithm besides trending and rising stars and its rare to get into either of those in 20 days unless you have shout outs etc.

im gonna have to make the guide myself aren't i
dotf author covers most of it anyway idk if we even need our own

>>24600139
Classic.
Followed by
>Sneething that he's»just writing for fun«
>lashing out at anons for being cynical
>screaming about random political spergery
>screeching about how people don't see his vision
>repeat for 100 posts

>>24600131
Thanks for collating some of the stuff these threads have been discussing but I'm not sure if it's any more accurate than the other existing launch guides floating around on RR forums and Reddit from successful individuals
This reads like theorycrafting that you've convinced yourself of and arbitrarily reinterpreting community findings rather than anything "proven".

>>24600162
idk why you people act likes it black magic that needs "findings" or whatever
Rising Stars is so stupid simple. Get like 200 followers in 3 weeks or 250 in 4 weeks, and you'll hit RS. from there the absurd amounts of natural traffic you get from the page will determine your story's virality/popularity.

it just comes down to:
- shoutouts
- lots of chapters early
- ads

everything else is nonsense (i'm skipping over the "write a good story part" ofc, that truly is nebulous)

>>24600131
so, you are saying if I didn't follow it I should just give up now?
I feel like if I do relaunch now I will end even fewer views

i will have 500+ followers and 2k+ average views and i will complain about viewship simply to make the 30 view losers who sadpost feel even worse about themselves and nothing you do will stop me

I see lots of AI covers so I assume your story won't take a hit for having an ugly generic picture.

>>24600131
>Each chapter should be a multiple of 275 to maximize page count per update.
Anon...are you retarded?

>>24600169
wanting The Precepts to be evidence-based isn't a big ask
Otherwise we'll get shit like the page count optimisation autism theorycrafting being parroted

>>24600176
People who use AI covers are at least honest. Their writing is as generic so they have generic cover.

>>24600207
im saying there shouldn't even be "Precepts" besides what I just said, anon

I like the idea of a quick primer for how to not completely fail in RR, but most questions can be answered by:
>https://www.royalroad.com/forums/thread/116847
Which is in the OP.

>>24600219
>quick primer for how to not completely fail in RR,
eh the thing is, if you're retarded enough to only read a quick primer you're gonna fail. you need to be willing to do market research if you actually want readers.

>>24600225
That's the thing, in these two months we've had two dozen anons asking why their fiction failed, what is needed to launch a novel or how much money to expect; all of these questions can be answered by searching on google or just lurking for a week here.
People are that retarded. Unfortunately, it isn't going to prevent their fictions from failing as they will refuse to even do a precursory research.

Thanks, Grammarly. Very cool.

>Write either an apocalypse or fantasy story
>Fill it with "He hit the succubus and felt stronger as his STR went from 13 to 14. When he returned home his house had gone from level 2 to 3. He knew there would be something new inside to explore."
>Begin your story in a backwoods shithole and end it with your reade-- your character becoming king
Let me guess, you need more?

>>24600237
>Grammarly has become a literal zogbot

>>24600239
I just can't do actual levels, man.
Though I have something that's essentially Hellraiser x Dr. Who that might be egregious enough to work.

>>24600239
Bonus point if the guy is ugly for maximum self insert

>>24600237
>she needs grammarly
Ngmi

>>24600232
people just want to write stuff and have others read it

>>24600262
okay? and?

Why not keep a pastebin of Anons accounts and most popular stories in the OP? Even porn generals do it. Everyone's here to get popular anyways.

>>24600277
I'm up for it but people are still wary because of "the incident"

>>24600277
>most popular stories in the OP?
One anon >>24599092 made a list in this thread, we could include in the next one.
>Anons accounts
Because last time we did, it didn't last 24 hours before there was drama that could splash on the anons in this thread.

>>24600285
>>24600287
What was the incident?

>>24600288
One author that posts a lot here got a very negative review on his fiction and went on a crusade against the person who wrote it. RR mods got involved, no one was banned, but it spooked anons with getting their names tied to each other.

>>24600294
Gay, I should have realized there was a reason why you guys didn't do it.

>>24600300
Be it what it may, 4chan is still a shithole. You takes yer chances associating anything here. Generally, it's been good to me but no guarantees. And, I'm just halfassing around and having fun.

Namo Amitabha, litwangers
I see more and more of you are similarly embracing Buddhism and its Precepts

Huh, wait a second...

have any western webnovelists written any simulator-type stories yet?

>Have three ideas I love
>Each one is at least a two month investment to get the 40k for a WN
>Keep flip flopping between them
I hate my retard brain.

>>24600357
What do you mean by simulation-type stories?

>>24600362
random.org is a writer's best friend.

Gimme your story and I'll throw up an extended review of the first 3 chapters.

ok retards im typing up a proper royalroad FAQ/guide. what do you want in there

>>24600362
>Each one is at least a two month investment to get the 40k for a WN
But that's only your first week of content.

>>24600386
Reviewing the first few chapters would be dumb, because the first ten chapters of my story are a big fakeout and the narrative goes in a completely different direction from there.

>>24600431
why do you think 20k words of fakeout is something to be proud about?

>>24600431
why does every anon make such questionable decisions with their story?

>>24600431
But why?

>>24600442
Because it's fun. When I read, I want to be surprised.

>>24600446
Seems like a big investment just for a rug pull, but you do you. I hope it works.

>>24600451
Readers have enjoyed it, yes.

>>24600386
the first 3 chapters were written so long ago I don't know if it would help current me, but since nobody else is stepping in I will provide.
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/63818/the-crow-and-the-rabbit

https://rentry.co/RRBasicGuide

there you go. an actually accurate RR guide and FAQ. you really should just read DOTF's guide though, an anon-made one is just redundant

>>24600431
My retard in Christ are you aware that you're not writing a limited run Netflix show?

>>24600431
post the whole thing then
or maybe you never had any intention of sharing your work for discussion and just wanted to take any opportunity to gloat about your midwit innovations

>>24600475
Ding ding ding ding.
Anons are very predictable like that.

>>24600475
Sure thing, dude. Looks like I'll have a real warm reception here. I can practically smell the sulfur before I've even actually said anything about the story. Holy hell you people are diseased.

>>24599695
>Mikhail V von Barbarossa
>Jonathan Churchill the Black Prince
>Maginot Line Point Farragaig
>Victoria Schwarzenberger
You should try reading some of these out loud. Anyway nobody cares about the mobile asteroid fortress planet orbital military Confederate capital installation of Assburgers. Cut out that shit.

>>24600495
>I can practically smell the sulfur
That’s probably your unwashed ass. Clean your ass you dysgenic, unhygienic monkey. Writing 20k words that are completely irrelevant to the larger story is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard of. They should put you in a zoo.

>>24600495
No one told you to answer Anon's helpful offer with "Nah that's stupid".

>>24600495
Reread your initial post. Explain why you think it was a meaningful response to some random good-natured anon offering to give his time and feedback. It frankly reeked of banal self-importance but sure keep playing the victim. You're a caricature

>>24600504
File a complaint at the orbital planetary Confederate complaint box. It’s next to the planetary galactic battle-star installation in Cuba. Operated by Katie Von Manchesterbergensson the Third.

>>24600131
lmao I was working on an FAQ last night and included your precepts.

https://rentry.co/pytefpxn

>>24600534
This should be at the top with:
>READ THIS BEFORE LAUNCHING YOUR FICTION
I do find the word count to be a little too much, I would say that halfway through your first book should be enough, but large word counts should filter uncommited retards looking for a quick buck.

>>24600462
Lots of useful info but so many word. Grug think more smaller is betterer.

>>24600572
i guess. many words is DOTF's guide which is like 15 pages long. mine is still way too short and unnuanced to be a good guide
>https://rentry.co/pytefpxn
is at least sane unlike the one earlier in the thread, but is just too sparse. at a minimum it should be explaining how it works on growth & for new stories you want to aim for like 200-250 followers in ~4 weeks (gives people a concrete goal to be working toward)
there's also parts like
>progression fantasy is the most popular
which is popular in the square/rectangle analogy. but raw progfantasy is pretty rare. It's mostly specifically litrpg and xianxia

likewise that guide undersells how effective shout out swapping collusion is. the immersive ink discord has like 70% of rising stars filled up with their gay networking at all times.

>>24600528
I pointed out that not all stories can be judged based on three chapters. Actually, almost none of them can. His time and feedback would be wasted. Explain why you think chimping out over nothing is meaningful. It reeks of insecurity issues and jealousy.

>>24600586
>which is popular in the square/rectangle analogy.
which is accurate in the square/rectangle analogy sort of way
should've proofed

>>24600589
He just said he was reviewing the chapters. Not making an assessment on the whole work itself based on those three chapters alone. Why even respond if you don’t want his help? Textbook histrionic behavior.

>>24600568
>too much
You are probably right. However even I will put a story on the backburner if it has a low page count. Xianxia autists are even worse and only read 1000+ page stories. That's why I leaned towards pushing for 200 pages.

>should be explaining how it works on growth
Agreed. Perhaps I will steal yo-- boil the essence of your tips down and make smallerer for other grugs.

>underselling shoutouts
I only saw a few metrics for shoutout swaps. I guess if you were pure cabal mode and had one every single chapter it might make them outperform ads. The issue is shoutouts are dependent on the size of the person shouting you out, how often they do so and require you to spend time networking with other faggots(authors). I guess the numbers are more random. I heard if you joined the cabal type discord there were people posting more data but I'd rather eat lead.

Wasn't there a rentry or something of all the collective stories on here? Where is it at and why isn't it in the OP?

Many here don't know shit about web novels and/or look down on them but were lured in by promises of the scene being more democratised than tradpub. Then, somewhere along the way, they convinced themselves that with this direct throughline into reader's eyeballs via the World Wide Web, they can just post their maladaptive daydream dogshit OC dollhouse hijinks without any consideration of the existing web serial scene and somehow manifest a readership like they're entitled to one. Maybe they think they have a heart of pure shining gold because they aren't doing something as crass and mercenary as "writing to market" or observing well-understood guidelines and best practices to maximise visibility/discoverability and retention. Maybe they put on airs as if they're somehow above the machine-god algorithms of these sites because they aren't *really* doing it for the money but cry when nobody can find their shit and those who do aren't sticking around. You aren't the Universe's favourite squishyboo angel. Either care about the numbers and play the game or just tip your effluent into the void for its own sake without any pretense of acquiring a readership and all the fawning and external validation that entails which, in many cases, was the real underlying goal all along.

uh oh meltie

Cool but who asked?

Jesus anon, calm down.

>>24600648
Is 50$ in advertising enough to appease royalroad algorithmic jewish demons and become top rising?

>>24600660
If you wrote something good & on market, yes, one 55$ ad (the cheapest) should be enough.
all this meta shit doesn't matter if you can't write btw

>>24600648
The wishy washy attitude of pretending to not care but actually caring about it and complaining constantly is what gets on my nerves.

>>24600656
I didn't ask but I would have if I knew to ask. I fuck with anons spite and rant. I don't think many of those types are ITT but they definitely exist on this board.

so... when does this actually get good?
i started it, since it's hailed as being one of the best xianxia novels, but so far it's just pokemon - except everyone is a bug-type trainer.

>>24600678
where are you at? dunno what to say without spoiling and I haven't memorised chapter numbers

>>24599842
Thank you. I'll keep that in mind.

>>24600065
Are you talking about formatting like this?

Para A.

Para B

As for the quotation mark choice, I figured that if it was good enough for them, it was good enough for me. I didn't know the literally were just JP "". But thank you and yes, our strapping hero comes back as not quite something alive.

>>24600678
You need to keep in mind that the kind of person who recommends others to read Reverend Insanity is quite literally a teenage boy that calls any novel he enjoys "peak". Reverend Insanity fans are the TBTATE fans of xianxia. I personally think it's 7/10. It suffers from the author pulling shit out of his ass because he can handwave everything by saying 'oh btw it happened in my last life'.

>>24600693
still at the very start, around chapter 25.

>>24600648

>maladaptive daydream dogshit OC dollhouse hijinks
Great way to describe it. This proliferated so much because most web novel writers are really just failed comic book artists, failed game designers. They don’t have the discipline to learn how to draw or code, so their only outlet is to scribble 10000 pages of loredumping slop. Even the higher quality web novels are just wish-fulfillment fantasies, with both the authors and readers living vicariously through them. This is why so many of them despise editing, by the way: they view any criticism beyond grammatical edits as a literal attack on this fantasy escape world they’ve created. Hence why you see so much histrionic whining and drama erupting in these circles. Lot of emotional instability and mental illness.

>>24600697
>Are you talking about formatting like this?
No, like this:
Para A...
Text.

It's common for published works, but it's not common at all in web novels. I wish you luck!

>>24600704
Fuck, this space didn't enter? Simply don't put a space when starting a new paragraph, let everyting start at the same column. No spacing between borders.

>>24600704
I see, I'll keep that in mind, thanks for the clarification.

>>24600702
>This proliferated so much because most web novel writers are really just failed comic book artists, failed game designers
NTA but I think this applies more to the ngmi wannabe tradpubs. Web novel writers tend to do this as a hobby. They are bad because they are amateurs. They write because its fun. The failures flocking to web novels are those very same tradpub authors that couldn't get anyone to read their pretentious slop and think us uncultured web novel readers will pay to read it.

>>24600716
You’re right, I shouldn’t have said “most web novel writers,” wannabe tradpubs is more accurate to what I was trying to convey. The overlap is less important since at least the amateurs are writing out of passion: I would rather read something earnest so the grammatical errors than some faggot’s pretentious garbage

>>24600716
>NTA but I think this applies more to the ngmi wannabe tradpubs
Funny you to say that as we are a /wg/ split, which is full of trad pubers. Sometimes they even chime in here asking if web publishing would be good for their stories.

>>24600701
everything up to where you are has just been liquor worm stuff IIRC?
i think it gets better after a few chapters when his shenanigans puts him in more conflict with his classmates which in turn sets up more conflict with the adults.

>>24600698
i agree with 7/10 and the asspulls (which get worse in later books + exacerbated by cheap "off-screen" plans and scheming). the early arcs are fun though since we see the plans being prepared, it really is the literary equivalent of chinese takeout

>>24600641
see >>24600294
alternatively you may be thinking of /wg/'s OP

>>24600648
>maladaptive daydream dogshit OC dollhouse hijinks
that's fucked up

>>24600727
>I would rather read something earnest so the grammatical errors than some faggot’s pretentious garbage
I completely agree. I've read literal MTL slop because the setting of the story interested me. My standards are probably lower than most but in general others will give you the benefit of the doubt and offer edit suggestions to mistakes. Perfect prose and grammar mean nothing if the setting and plot of a story put readers to sleep. Most of these tradpub types cant fathom that. Writing for them is a way of showing off their ego rather than telling a story. They care about demonstrating how well read they are. Their stories are unintuitive on purpose because it makes them think they're intelligent. Don't understand it? You're a dumb peon. They are the epitome of English nobles larping as Frenchman because they like the idea of being cultured.

>>24600648
>>24600589

See
>>24600148

>>24600702
>>24600648
TRVTHNVKE

>>24599627
i love retardgodkinos, too bad it's litrpg though
>>24599672
wait it's forcefem bimbofication? whaddafak

>>24599637
>>24599651
I came here from sffg, never did so much as a page of creative writing in my life. I just read slop.

>>24600061
closest example would be the early arcs of kumo desu ga nani ka where she keeps refusing the evolutions to adult versions of spiders and stays as a tiny baby one just getting more and more rare subspecies each time

>>24600294
>>24600300
also before that an anon just went over the archive to scour all the RR links and made a master post of "anons' stories" and like 3 different anons got spooked by the attention and deleted their shit

>>24600860
Probably because their RR accounts are linked to personal things. Once you get the paper trail going, it’s hard to hide it again.

>>24600860
Did they? I know two deleted because they couldn't handle the criticism from here. Felt bad for one of them as I did criticised it.

reminder to make a patreon account so you can get grandfathered rates

>>24600878
?

I see authors collecting by the chapter, they're so lucky...

>>24600884
i mean if you haven't already
i'm still backlogging but patreon rates are changing. sorting out your account now before the change means you get better rates

>>24600889
Ah, they're getting even greedier? Thanks for the heads up.

>>24600893
another anon mentioned it in a recent thread, he can probably explain it better
but basically making it now means you keep the current rates

>>24600899
So I just need to make an account? Anything else?

You need to make a creator page and publish it for the rates to apply.

>>24600903
https://warosu.org/lit/thread/24576779#p24578075

>What's changing for new Patreon creators
>Starting in August, we're consolidating our Pro (8%) and Premium (12%) plans into a standard 10% plan. This new platform plan + applicable taxes and fees will only apply to creators that publish a Patreon page after August 4, 2025, or if you unpublish your Patreon page. If you need to take a break, we suggest you use the pause feature instead of unpublishing your page to retain your 8% platform fee + applicable taxes and fees.

publish then pause, i think

>>24600912
>>24600913
Thanks, set up and published it now.

>>24600862
This is why I make a new email for every new account I make and use a different username each time.

Why does it feel like I'm actually becoming a worse writer?

>>24600935
Post something old and something recent and let's see.

>>24600648
i spent a year writing in a document that I would send to 5 friends, only two of which actually read(one of those two committed suicide leaving me with only one) and then I found RR as a coincidence and decided that not only would it be easier to show people a website with proper chapters instead of an ever-expanding document, and maybe other people might see it. If you put effort into something and post it publicly and it is ignored, it will feel bad. While you might blame people like me for being ignorant of the web novel scene, getting mad at people who see "website you can upload literary works to" and doing exactly that seems really fucking stupid and the rest of your complaints sound like you're making up people in your head to get mad at.

>>24600935
Maybe you haven't become worse, but noticed how bad you were. That's the first step to learning.

okay i read the int dumpstat story and lmao at the concept of "I have to hide my gender while streaming. Nobody would ever guess that the blonde bimbo MMO character with maxed out tit size sliders would be played by a MAN!".
Sometimes you've gotta wonder whether these VRMMO authors have ever even played an MMO or if they're getting everything from vague memories of sword art online. Join a roleplay server and you'll trip over a dozen of those characters played by horny dudes every time you walk through a city.

>>24600504
I think people were completely missing the revised version at the bottom since I omitted a lot of the redundancy in it.

>>24600973
idk about the setting of the story but RP dens have a decent amount of women in them. Not sure WHY but they do.

>>24600678
It has a LOT of boring parts. I almost dropped it during the zombie shit because it was so fucking dry

I've done it again in time.
The new chapter of FFF-Class 'Unlucky Antagonist' is out.
Elf-GF bros, get in!

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/119783/fff-class-unlucky-antagonist-villains-origin-story/chapter/2485227/martial-critique-part-three

Give me some not real but completely plausible sloppa titles.

>>24601158
misread as gilf GF
now I'm disappointed and will NOT be reading your slop

>>24601163
THERE IS THAT TOO---DD-Class ’Mindhunter’ Dr. Madeleine Elizabeth De La Tristesse-Moyens.

She is a MILF, almost GILF.

i have an elf fetish

>>24601178
imagine licking an elf girls ears haha just kidding

>>24601159
The Demon Lord Is My Mistress!? My Life as a Futanari Catgirl

>>24601183
>imagine licking an elf girls ears
i am doing that right now

>>24599279
tldr except the first line of your spergout, the point (as I thought was pretty clear) is beware of chicken falls into the "tropes I <3 are silly XD!" category of Asian/happa fiction

>>24601185
I could easily see this being a novel on scribblehub. Someone get to it.

>>24600386
>Gimme your story and I'll throw up an extended review of the first 3 chapters.
>
that would be cool. have at it.
https://moonquillnovels.com/book/white-death

>>24600431
>24600431

Bottom text

>>24601159
>Give me some not real but completely plausible sloppa titles.
"Help! I've been reincarnated into a mouse, and the neighbors cat is trying to eat me alive!"

>>24601235
>Isekai Tom and Jerry
I kneel at your genius.

>>24601159
I'mperfect [timeloop/isekai]
Reincarnated as a smartphone in another world [litRPG/progression]
Demonic fungus (stubbing Vol 1: Mold soon)

>>24600386
okay https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/117925/the-yellow-typhoon-and-the-final-waltz

https://pastebin.com/v1AWbmAW

>>24601261
>/wng/ in five years

>>24601261
Web serials have what plants crave.

>>24601261
now this is kino

>>24601243
>>Isekai Tom and Jerry
>I kneel at your genius.
I crafted the title? Based on a real one. Hope they're not *here*, or are not offended. The real title I once saw? "Help! I've been reincarnated, and now my harem is trying to kill me!"
>
And so, I have fun with sperging out joke titles. Which is ironic. Most of my "jokes" concerning titles? Always an anon who approves. When I'm being serious though... not so much.

>>24599365
>I tried to grasp the edges of the opening, and stretch them together some. Because in my mind a smaller hole had to be better, right? I tried pinching at little squirting things down inside the canoe. I got a high pressure squirt in the eye once for my efforts. I didn't care.
You should cut out this unnecessary play-by-play of you doing goatse

>>24600912
locked in at 8%, merci

i tried to log in to the patreon account i set up a year ago and they hit me with the suspicious activity and are making me jump through hoops now
fuckers

>>24601347
yoi still have 4 days dw, good luck

>>24601321
Lmao

>>24601349
they asked for identifying information and have yet to respond

>>24601243
>>24601293
its technically a self insert

>>24601375
it'll take a few days but you'll be fine

>>24599080
>Don't rely on bots for actual reviewing.
That's what I thought but I have seen AIjeets tell me "the ai is good editor saar."
>there's some points where your dysgraphia was very apparent.
>spelling mistakes are off putting in any written work.
I wish my family understood this. They keep telling me not to worry about it. I've been called a ESL here for puting my self as a sub literate.
>>24599196
I had langtool summarize some of my writing and it made my prose so bland and changed the meaning in saddle ways.

>>24601261
trve kvno

>>24601321
Top, fucking, kek.
I mean to say I was rather looking for someone to say hey, its not the worst thing I ever read.
But... that was better,
Well played, sir.
well played.

>>24601159
DDD-Class Anti-Hero Ronaldo: My Class As A Slinger Is The Worst But Actually The Best!?

>>24601613

I'm going to take Kino Man's cover, title, and blurb and barely tweak them, but completely rewrite the content and hit rising stars

>>24601623
>Slinger
Actual underrated weapon in writing (David and Golitath notwithstanding)

Litrpg is such a crutch...

Any good card game WNs?

>>24601630
George Lucas had a team of tarwranglers and he made the originals. There must be good ideas there, under a pile of purple prose and worldbuilding

We need to talk about the elephant in the room

>>24601647
WHAT
WHAT DID YOU SAY
CAN YOU REPEAT THAT

>>24601647
We aren't taking down the Indonesian review swap cabal.

oh that wasn't a flashbang.. now my post isn't funny at all.

>>24601630
Are you telling me you like my story?
KINOOOOOO!!!

>>24601623
>Javelinist
>Best
LOLOLOLOLOL, read the story.

>>24601635
There's about ~26 people on the immersive ink botnet in the process of writing them or pledged to do. Expect them to have a release bonanza RR around December-ish '25 to early 2026.

>>24601669
Can they really force a trend, or is it going to flop?

>>24601672
good question, next question

>>24601669
So if I write autistically fast and be as sloppy as possible I can beat them to the punch...

I would write a card builder just to spite the discord cabal. Just flood RR with like 10 stories the month before. We each buy ads. We all shout out each other. Would be fucking hilarious.

>>24601159
Heaven-Blessed Regressor with Insurpassable Cheat Treasure
My Maximized Empowered Fireball in Another World is so Great I Got a Harem of Lusty Mage Apprentices?!?!
Sword Man. [LitRPG] [OP MC] [Weak to Strong] [Strong to Strong] [Broken skill with HUGE potential] [Antihero MC] [Strong to OP] [Strongest ever]
Legend of the Sword of the Squire of the Knightlord of the Kingdom of Time
Reincarnated as a Bottom-Tier Goblin but I Remember the Bessemer Process, now Our Tribe's Unbeatable Steel will Conquer the World

>>24601699
What does one put in cards for a card builder anyway? Monsters, skills and what else? Never did I read any of those stories.
Once I had an idea for an harem card builder, but it didn't progress any further than that.

>>24601635
This was a big trend like 5 years ago with stuff like All the Skills and writers aping it.

>>24601699
>Discord cabal
Why does every hobby have to be so autistic?

>>24601699
>160k words just to spite someone
Ehhhhhhh

>>24601714
>Sword Man. [LitRPG] [OP MC] [Weak to Strong] [Strong to Strong] [Broken skill with HUGE potential] [Antihero MC] [Strong to OP] [Strongest ever]
The title is a story by itself.

>>24601714
Mine:
>Javelin Man. [LitRPG] [SHIT MC] [Weak to Weak] [Rich to Poor] [Garbage skills with no potential] [Antihero/Villain MC] [Weak to Dead] [Weakest ever]

>>24601717
I don't read them either. I tried reading a few but dropped them eventually. Typically they just put spells and summons in them. The whole card building genre is pretty much redundant and only appeals to people who like card games irl. If you want your characters to collect spells then there's this wacky thing called a grimoire that you can use to do so.

>>24601724
Human nature to exploit systems for maximum returns without caring about the effects. Greed essentially.

>>24601735
I am intrigued. Does the MC really eat shit and suffer that hard

>>24601714
>Sword Man. [LitRPG] [OP MC] [Weak to Strong] [Strong to Strong] [Broken skill with HUGE potential] [Antihero MC] [Strong to OP] [Strongest ever]
My fucking sides. I am going to add this. Your shitpost will be immortalized in my story that itself is a shitpost.

>>24601740
Absolutely, and for every new pain in the ass he overcomes, three more appear at once to gang up on him. This until his doomed and pointless death

>>24601735
>[Weak to Dead]

>Protagonist is ancient evil awakened
>Gets bodied by the hero party
>Reincarnates as basic mob
>Tries to go home but gets his fucking ass kicked by his former minions
>Only saved by the hero party that don't recognize him
>They make him tag along as their newest recruit
>He tries to murder them, failing constantly and they never notice
>Everywhere they go they right wrongs and he tries to wrong rights but keeps saving the day by coincidence
>Eventually finds the heroes endearing after 200 chapters
>Starts doing good deeds because they're his friends
>Doing good feels fucking terrible because he's genuinely just evil, it's like trying to chew a pine-cone
>He keeps doing good regardless because they're his friends and he doesn't want to drink alone
>Becomes the powerful hero of legend, wakes up every morning and looks in the mirror wishing he was dead
>But his friends make living worthwhile
>Sacrifices himself and the God of LG lmaos at his retarded ass then brings him back as an avatar of goodness
How played out is this retarded idea?

>>24601821
Every 5th RR story feels like it's about a dark lord doing comical stuff they shouldn't be.

>>24601821
>Gets bodied by the hero party
>Reincarnates as basic mob
>Tries to go home but gets his fucking ass kicked by his former minions
>Only saved by the hero party that don't recognize him
>They make him tag along as their newest recruit
>He tries to murder them, failing constantly and they never notice
>Everywhere they go they right wrongs and he tries to wrong rights but keeps saving the day by coincidence
That's Endro (manga) basically. Demon lord gets defeated and turns back time, becomes hero's party teacher before they leave the starter town.

>>24601821
>they're looting one of his old hideouts
>he gets mad every time they miss one of his secret stashes
>he keeps pointing out where the good loot is
>they shower him with praise
>he hates that he enjoys it

>>24601821
Make him look progressively more evil as he levels up and only give him access to 'evil' spells that he has to use in 'good' ways. Like he starts as a little grey blob dude, and by the mid-point of the story he resembles skull knight.

yurislop > male mc hetslop > female mc hetslop > yaoislop > female mc haremslop > male mc haremslop

>>24601857
only fem author yurislop is any good albeit.

>>24601857
>>24601892
agp gender bender yuri haremslop >>>>>> all

>>24601914
>agp gender bender yuri haremslop >>>>>> all
sadly most of the stuff in this genre on scribblehub is futanari for some reason. probably because the coomer authors don't know how to write sex without pingas

monagamy romance > goonerslop

>>24601664
It's so easy to trigger you.
And no, I won't read it. Before you sperg out (again). I'm not one of your imagined haters, nor am I going to go rate your shit poorly. I just like summoning you by vaguely alluding towards your existence so you can embarrass yourself some more.

>>24601927
monogamous smut webnovels doko

>>24599734
What's even the point of using it if you're going to abandon that voice?

>>24601934
IDK, I changed it. I just thought it sounded cool, luckily someone told me otherwise lol.

>>24601929
Hug, bro.

>>24598882
>straight women hate women most of all
not suprising

Hello again wng and thanks to the two anon's who responded earlier. Now that I've got a longer intro for the work, I'd like your honest thoughts on it, before I fully commit to the project.

https://pastebin.com/g84nHWeB

>explicitly state the 2-3 sites I'll be uploading and that any other instances of my work on other sites or being translated into other languages are unauthorised
>translate it into Chinese+Japanese+Korean myself with DeepSeek and post on all the CJK slop sites myself
>"accidentally" get an unauthorised foreign audience
rate my plan, wanglads

>>24602250
Didn't read, but you posted Magilou.
You get a 10/10

>>24602293
cool but you can't sign up on any of those sites without having a phone number from that country. or even if you can create an account, you can't post before phone verification
also AI TL from english to any language is still shit

>>24602250
might be fine for RR but im going to give you some old fashioned feedback

i think the atmosphere is strong, but the opening is disorienting when it should be engaging. the perspective shifts do not help w/ this.

you also need clear stakes or something to make me want to suffer alongside your protagonist. and maybe give us more of the protagonist (more setup), before you drop a reference like "cosplay", so it doesn't distract the reader as some out of place anachronism...

...that is-- you reference his mundane death, but it's vague. for all we know, he's from that same world. i don't think you want the tagging system ("isekai") to do your job for you

the prose is rough, and purple at times. prioritize flow

>>24601931
I've had this one concept of a Generation ship smut story percolating through my head for a while. Would follow a bunch of couples or maybe just one bloodline as they fuck at different life stages as the ship and culture change around them

>fall back asleep
>dream I made the ultimate sloppa
>dream I even had schizo antis
>wake up
>forgot what the sloppa was about
:(

wake up, it's time to write

>>24599461
Now do it again. Every day for the rest of your life.

>>24602487
why even bother? no matter how much fiction and books on writing I read I'm never going to compare to a tranny writing gamelit slop since his main language is English.

>>24600426
Are you actually successful on RR?

Most litrpgs I come across waste their first chapter on carbon copy "mc daily routine > gets isekai'd > system dump" This is pretty much the trademark of creative bankruptcy that makes me not click next chapter. If you have one shot to commit why waste it on something like that?

>>24602504
get moderately wealthy, write kino in your native language, and underpay some poor writer to translate it for you.

>>24602508
There is one...

>>24602504
some of the most well paid slop manufacturers are ESL.

>>24602508
that structure is (more or less) fine, it's just the unskilled, uninspired execution

>>24602508
Because you're not the audience.

>>24601159
do these titles really invite clicks? When I see system in the title I assume it was written by a barely literate chink

>>24602537
I guess, as it stands authors seem to use it as a (skippable) prologue. I read one these days where in the first chapter you get to meet the mc, his routine as a cashier, his death, and then his new role as a necromancer in some tower. There is no information worth keeping prior to awakening in the tower, and by then you've trudged over 80% of the chapter. It's literary white noise that says "I may not have anything worth remembering after 3k words, but please keep reading"

>>24602563
but im sure you agree that this information serves an important purpose-- the idea is just to not reveal it (or too much) at the expense of pacing

>>24602508
they should learn from the chinese tradition of starting in the world, from the isekai’d person’s perspective, either at the moment of transmigration or introduce them as someone from earth who has been reincarnated into another world

>>24602618
that might work for progression porn, where your setup basically hinges on the platform/tagging/expectations-- it's meta, not necessarily good practice.

>>24602381
>dreamed I had my story written
>wake up
>have to write my story

>>24600878
I just made a Patreon today and was shocked at how easy it was. Far easier than setting up a Coinbase account, far easier than setting up a Gmail account, easier than setting up an Instagram account. They didn't ask for my banking info, they didn't ask for my phone number, they didn't ask for a photo of my passport, they didn't ask for a selfie. It was like making an email account before the internet became so cancerous.

I thought for sure it would take me an hour. Took more like five minutes.

>>24601159
come on, man. Writing goofy shit is one of the most fun things you can do as a writer.
>My Step Sister is an Elf and She Wants to Train Me to do What?!

>>24602649
Yeah, but to get grandfathered in you have to actually launch something, not just create an account. That will require a little more information and effort.

>>24602491
My two weeks of happiness just sitting and writing are almost over. Soon I'll have to work again.

>>24602524
any examples of asian authors with no formal education in English who have made it writing in English?

>>24602753
i don't have examples; i think they're (SEA) typically on wattpad though.

>>24602538
Even in slop there are sloppier tiers of slop designed purely for inhumane algorithmical audiences

>>24602505
yes and it's here >>24600462 or read this anons >>24600534 for something that's more concise but mostly accurate

>>24602701
nah launching is just hitting the publish button lol. you don't have to do anything extra really

>>24602541
i'm a huge believer in LN style titles desu. rotted attention spans means you have to intrigue the person scrolling through lists by the title alone
it worked for "New Life As a Max Level Archmage" even though the writing quality really isn't the sort of sloppa you would expect. that's one of the more common reviews lol: terrible name but pleasantly surprised. but it was that title that drew them in, wasn't it? shit works

>I have a lot more than 4k followers
ArcaneCadence is a litwanger confirmed. No, I'll not take my meds anymore.
Also good work there.

>>24601821
Genderswap them from male to female and have them fall in love with the hero faggot.

>>24602836
Thrashing the title like to look like a billboard storefront makes no sense to me, it looks like a bad habit spread from japs. I read manga a lot but their titles have gotten so fuckhuge over the years I just skim past them and set my attention on the cover and summary tags, I can't really remember the full name of any of my on read titles

>>24602844
>>24602836
it’s tradition

>>24602844
>Thrashing the title like to look like a billboard storefront makes no sense
Anon, your title literally is your storefront. and stores do that shit because it works.
>I just skim past them and set my attention on the cover and summary tags
Don't make the mistake of thinking you're most people

It's exactly the same as youtube clickbait thumbnails. "Wah this shit is garbage nobody likes this, you're ruining your channel!" Meanwhile the stats show it's effective as fuck and it quickly became the site-wide meta. not doing it is shooting yourself in the foot

>>24602701
Well >>24600912 says
>this new platform plan will only apply to creators who publish a Patreon page after 4 August 2025.
And my page is published.

For the next baker:

Recommended web novels
https://rentry.co/d2yvczro

Anon's guide to success
https://rentry.co/RRBasicGuide

FAQ
https://rentry.co/pytefpxn

Web novel buddhism nonsense
https://rentry.org/theprecepts

>>24602855
McDonald's isn't selling burgers titled
>"I Was Summoned to Another World But All I Got Was This Max Crispy Meat Burger"
It's selling Big Macs. Similarly, any half-popular genre fiction avoids labelling itself to the types of gamelit word salad, else Dune would read like
>"That Time I Became the Kwisatz Haderach and All I Got Was This Lousy Sandworm."

I'm yet to finish a great novel with a name that signals pure commercial intent. This extra tagging above the platform-given tags themselves acts like the writer's training wheels that immediately signal the genre-fare ceiling of his work by overreliance on buzzwords. These titles plague niche WN arenas because they're essentially tropes competing against trope, engineering titles solely dressed to game algorithms when all else they can pitch is a slight variation from the other 500 isekais readers parse through.

Not to mention, they fall apart when paired next to any title from genre fiction that bears memorability and thematic weight, because if you can't sum it up in three words, you deserve getting your title cut short with a ... In "That time I Got..." and kicked to the bottom of any noteworthy digital bookstore.

>>24602872
If you deem your fiction nothing more than the YouTube food eating video of the week, by all means you're credible.

>>24603028
>McDonalds analogy
wtf even is this? you couldn't have picked a worse one if you tried. comical

>>24603045
Nice contention. The allegory is fitting enough to draw reactions from essayists who rejoice branding themselves with slop

>>24603028
>I'm yet to finish a great novel with a name that signals pure commercial intent.
For the web? I kinda agree with you, but you're basically telling that something made for mass consumption should have higher standards.
>kicked to the bottom of any noteworthy digital bookstore.
New Life As A Max Level Archmage...

>>24603057
>Nice contention.
it wasn't a contention it was me laughing at how terrible the analogy was, it was genuinely comical
you're obviously gong anon so of course im not going to engage with you seriously

>>24603028
How do you explain this then: https://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/books/99546083011

anybody baking?

>>24603100
Within two posts I joined the society of personal boogeymen living rent-free in anon's head.
That's quite a feat, if anything it speaks more about your mania of linking scarecrows to posts that simply don't masturbate your ego and say anything you dislike to hear. After being so squeamishly defensive from the start, it's only rational for other anons to start wondering if your fiction's title indeed begins with "I was summoned to another world..."

>>24603130
>gamelit titles is all there is and remains in the gamelit genre
Yes?

>>24603164
>>24603164
>>24603164
>>24603164
>>24603164
Baked

>>24602872
that's precisely the meaning of slop

>>24602358
Thanks for the feedback I'll try and work on some of those things.

>>24602298
Who doesn't like Magilou?