"Classic pulp" edition

Previous: >>24583349

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.
(And maybe double-space your WIPs to allow edits if you want 'em.)

Simple guides on writing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5J-HYq20sY

>>24601527
>>24601538
Summary: "write good". Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. We're trying, damn it!

Been waiting patiently. Now pouncing on a fleeting wash of creativity with every intent to ride it to its death with many late nights and obscure alcoholic combinations and hangovers and counter-hangovers.

(tombstone voice)
"Classic pulp edition? Well, that's just my game."
https://moonquillnovels.com/book/merrys-present

Its a modern pulp hard-boil.
In place of the usual male MC conducting the hard-boil investigation... I went with the female MC. True first person. Now, you *actually* get the traditional male MC, and the little team tackling the problem. But you experience it, through that female MC's characters eyes. If you once liked some hard-boil or noir pulp? This could be you.
Also, no sheckels. My aim, is to get writing better *first*, then worry about the business strategy end of things later.

>>24603328
my promises?
no woke characters.
no glorifying political correctness.
no "wonder woman" tropes.
I toned the sex down to "commercial" levels, so its no coomer novel.
You DO get... shakespearean revenge.

Can we be french again?

>>24603352
>Can we be french again?
oui

>>24602974 (OP)
>Bee Thatcher from outer space!

>>24603328
>Paragraphs upon paragraphs of complete fucking nonsense exposition
>Hurrr muh name can't be used. Durr hurr zurrr
>Call me Ismael. Because I can't be asses to find an actual proper name
>Blah blah blah nonsense cuz you know I'm FBI, but at FBI I don't call it hat. Its a field agent
Do you even read books in the noir crime genre?

>>24603162
/thread

>>24603352
why would you want that?

Stop stealing my ideas.

>>24603484

>>24603486
Stop claiming ownership of my ideas just because you came up with them first.

Kindly critique —

When he kissed her she did not resist. Her mouth was sopping wet and she tasted like many things both known to him and new. He ran his tongue along her throat and neck and ears and to her mouth again. She took him by the hand and led him into the house. She led him into the corridor and right past the door to her bedroom, and only when they were in her own mother’s room did she turn around and show him what was in her eyes. He pulled her shirt off her head and fell into the smell and taste of her armpits and her breath came out in ragged gasps.

She pulled him close and looked into his eyes and said, “You are not a serious person.”
They did not make love. When he came he came on her belly and he moaned in a way rare to men. She held him tight in her arms as he writhed and wriggled until their stomachs were as shiny and wet as rive stones.
“You kill me. Your own mother’s bed. You sphinx.” He was lying face down on the Egyptian cotton, dazed and drooling.
She laughed and pushed him away. “I know you want to fuck her. I wanted to see if you would be more excited, in here.”
Piled in the doorway her wretched dog was staring at him like a shadow’s shit.

When she kicked him out he stumbled into the night and down into town feeling sorry for himself. I am a victim of a psychological anomaly, he thought. It’s not that I’m a liar, but rather that the world does not stay still long enough to concretise any truths. Cars came sweeping around corners and he moved out their way lazily. He already felt much like a figuration of roadkill. The sky was clear and the stars plentiful and the cold crept its long fingers between the buttons of his jacket. He burrowed his face down into his collar and breathed in just to get her smell out his mind. In the old fabric was contained every form of fire and smoke and piss and booze and a touch of fish. He patted the stitching and said, “You are my best buddy in the whole world.”

>>24603498
>He ran his tongue along her throat
Since you only mentioned him kissing him before this line I thought at first you meant the inside of her throat.

>>24603436
Like the whole reading world is just sitting around waiting for another cookie cutter "Mike Hammer" clone.
Lets see what the trope machine has to say about that...
step 1 - give male MC, a "power name" (so 80s)
Mike HAMMER, excellent example. And? Juvenile.
step 2 - private investigator. Tall. Rugged. wears a rumpled suit with a loose tie. Gruff but with a surprising sensitive side to women and kids and pets. yeah, that's original.
step 3 - grab any trad plot, any one will do. Damsel in distress, murder needs solved. Fuck it flip a coin, it doesn't matter.
step 4 - investigator is clueless, but keeps pushing. Beats people up and gets roughed up himself. In the end? By dogged peristence, he shoots or fights his way out of it.
step 5 - bang the chick. She's just arm candy.
step 6 - don;t forget secretary of crappy second story small office. Big boobs, long legs. Saucy brooklyn waitress mouth on her.
step 7 - reader can check items off of a checklist.
>
Yeah. I went for something different.

>>24603328
I'm gonna have to judge this one by the cover and assume whoever made it doesn't know what the hell they're doing.

After a lot of second guessing and anxiety, I have finally self published an ebook.

>>24603595
I hereby give you permission to link it or at least post the title and your author name. If it's generated by an LLM I will be making fun of you.

>>24603587
>Using chat gpt or whatever trope shit you're using.
The problem isn't tropes, it's your writing and storytelling

>>24603606
>The problem isn't tropes, it's your writing and storytelling
did you just read 6 pages and assume the rest off of that? or did you read something through and came to that conclusion. I could live with either, but the latter is obviously preferable.
Did you read...
---just the blurb? (I get that a lot)
---couple pages of chapter one.
---chapter one
--- maybe, x number of chapters,
---whole book.
pick one. I'm curious.
no snark from me.

>>24603651
>>24603587
>>24603341
>>24603328
If these posts are any indication of the book's style it's the most obnoxiously written shit ever. I won't read your posts just like I won't your book.

>>24603328
Author — is this work and its prose indicative of who you are? Or is it performance for some other sake?

>>24603657
>If these posts are any indication of the book's style it's the most obnoxiously written shit ever. I won't read your posts just like I won't your book.
>
(I'm laughing)
yeah, another one of those.
I dont like how you post, therefore your whole books are utter shit
yeah, never ran into one of you before.
how will I ever survive such a thing.

>>24603659
>Author — is this work and its prose indicative of who you are? Or is it performance for some other sake?
First of all? I am Anon. You have zero idea if I am male or female. All you know? is that you have a female pen name, a cover to have a cover, and some chapters of text.
Not sure what you mean. Is the work and prose indicative of who I am. Who I am, is the person that wrote it.
Or is it performance fro some other sake? This, I don't understand entirely. What other sake could it possibly even be? I write, this was a book. I'm not sure what ulterior motive I could have.

>>24603692
Your writing style has stunlocked me.

some anon, amidst irrelevant snark which doesnt bother me...
asked what crime noir I've "ever read".
I'm particularly fond of Macdonald.
His greatest fame was his Travis McGee series, but he had a lot of earlier work before he created the McGee character.
"A Bullet for Cinderella" is one of his 50s dime pulp novels, from the heyday of the genre.
I also liked the Parker series, that's another writer who wrote Parker novels under a pseudonym.
Though the author escapes me, "The Man Who paid His Way" was enjoyable. (classis 1950-ish noir)
The Jack Reacher series was cool.
and the one thing all these authors have in common, other than Macdonald himself? They all freely admit *this* is their own hero. They strove to write like him.
I used to read Cussler, too (Dirk Pitt, anyone?) and even Cussler himself lionized Macdonald.
Its hardly all I've ever read, but these come to mind as hardboil/noir pulps I liked.

>>24603751
your meter needs work

>>24603885
>your meter needs work
oh my god, you are so right.
If I would remember to only post on 4Chins, in Iambic Pentameter?
I bet i could be taken seriously then.
maybe I should post in haiku.

>>24604010
You've inspired me.
>>24603885
Stupid fucking troll.
Writer's egos are fragile.
Now say something nice.

>>24603605
It technically drops on the 5th but it's on presale for now. Wasn't sure how long it would take to get approved by retailers. Anyway, it's probably not very impressive by /lit/ standards but I wanted to give it a shot. It's "Romance" (smut) but heavily psychological in that it's meant to embody the cycle of abuse and is essentially a villain origin story for a world I can write more stories in.

>>24602974 (OP)
>Simple guides on writing:
>youtube
>youtube
>youtube

Anyone has a written guide ?

>>24604088
Since you found OP, look slightly higher, to a pastebin called "RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS".

>>24604130
thanks man
this time I'm gonna do it

>>24604049
>No results found for "veil of the temptress" Rusty f c
should've worked on that before you promoted your book

>>24604088
Here you go bro:
Just do it

>>24604338
Oh and here's some optional extracurricular material:

>>24604334
Yes, with all my deep insight of how online ebook retailer search engines work, and all the power I have over them. It's also not a promotion. The links provided to me all work, I don't know if it's just not publicly available yet or what's going on. They got approved less than 24 hours ago.

>>24604392
>They got approved less than 24 hours ago
That's probably it. I'll check back later if I remember to.
What was the self-publishing process like for you? Is it true that you spent
>more time on running a business than writing
?
>It's also not a promotion
Do you intend to promote the book at all or are you just tossing a message in a bottle into the sea?

>>24604432
I have a few ideas on advertising, but I don't have a huge social media following so something like tiktok or instagram would just be pissing in the wind. I'll do it anyway, but I'm not expecting much. I'll also take out an ad on 4chan since it's really cheap. Other than that, I have no clue, really.

I've spent all my time running and almost no time self promoting. I have a subscribestar with a handful of people following (around 18) so it's not like I'm super popular or anything. My writing in general is very niche so it's hard to promote myself. I also despise talking myself up and schmoozing to get ahead, so I'm probably doomed.

>>24604465
>running
writing*

How can I learn to write? I know the ideas and plot I wish to convey in a story, but I don't know how to actually express that in words.
Everyone else seems to write so well compared to what I end up with. It feels like I'm verbally retarded.

>>24604465
>My writing in general is very niche so it's hard to promote myself
You could start with cover art that doesn't look like half the slop piling up out of /wng/.

>>24604484
How much have you read ?

>>24604494
Sometimes I read 4chan posts

>>24604488
I'm not trying to write the next LotR here, it's a story about a femboy in a hyper sexual low fantasy world. I think we all know who the target audience is.

>>24604512
>a femboy in a hyper sexual low fantasy world
>very niche
oh sweet summer child

>>24604494
Ignore >>24604497. That's not me.
I've read at least a couple of hundred books. Reading doesn't do it for me though. I feel like I would have to actively try to copy these books to get myself to write the way authors do.

>>24604783
>a couple of hundred books
That's not enough

>write a sentence
>"That's pretty good."
>come back to it a few hours later
>"This is shit."
It keeps happening.

>>24605177
>discard it with disgust
>come back even later
>"That's pretty good."

I'm almost up to 87K words. I could either milk the resolution for a few thousand more words or I could not do that. We'll see after I give it a full once-over.

>>24604783
Interesting (deeply unfortunate) that the repatterning process does not occur naturally. I have the opposite problem. Big strong prose shapes me like putty and I steal all rhythms and turns of phrase and diction from the books I love. I can only hope that with enough reading their influence will blend into an infinite proportion so that it appears genuine. This is what everyone does, to various degrees, I imagine.

Does anyone else sweat like a boiling pig when the creative fever is upon you ?

>>24605457
>discard with patient disinterest
>come back ten years later
>"God I was a child then. I had it all."

“My knowledge of Mr. Forster’s works is limited to one novel which I dislike; and anyway it was not he who fathered that trite little whimsy about characters getting out of hand; it is as old as the quills, although of course one sympathizes with his people if they try to wriggle out of that trip to India or whereever he takes them. My characters are galley slaves.”

— Nabokov being a bitch as per usual, but the prose is military grade, completely overwhelming.

>>24604783
The only way to form your own identity is to start writing. It took me over a year of steady writing to get to a point where I could feel good enough to publish anywhere, and I'm sure it'll change again by next year.

Do any of you write without coffee/caffeine? I've been writing for over a decade with caffeine to keep me focused and energized. Recently trying to stop in hopes of improving my sleep quality and anxiety, but I haven't been able to focus for like a week. There's only been one day where I wrote over 100 words despite sitting at the PC for hours.

>>24606198
lol no

>>24606198
Coffee is too strong for sitting still, I think. I drink black tea and green tea and smoke rollies one puff at a time extremely slowly. More important than that though is catching your mind in the morning before it unspools into another day of listlessness. You need to pounce on your mind before it can run away.

>>24606198
I kicked my caffeine addiction without thinking about it
went from energy drinks to coffee to now nothing except rare occasions
still as productive.

I like the flavour of coffee but it gives me such terrible headaches so I never really got into it.

>tfw you will never have your own comfy little adventure series with a dozen entries

>tfw get genuine fanmail
>but its only for my art not the stories I make
maybe I should just be a shitty artist instead

>>24606198
If you're sitting at the PC, not writing, then you need to do something else. Seriously, go take a walk or something. I find I come up with creative ideas while doing menial chores around the house.

>>24606198
>>24606328
this
for me some of my best ideas come during my smoke breaks

>>24606198
Since April I've been taking ashwa/ashwagandha and I feel I've been making huge strides in getting writing done. I've been making good progress cutting down my coffee intake from like 4 cups daily to 1 as a nye resolution and I've been more peace of mind vecayae of it. I say that despite chugging my 2nd cappuccino but its only when I wage I drink more. I've been trying to write chaops between customers and I usually hit my minimum word goal of 275 by the time I come home to paste it into scrivener.

>>24606201
Yeah, first thing I do when I wake up is read for about an hour, take caffeine, then sit at the computer and listen to music while writing. I'll often chew gum as well to aid concentration. Tea doesn't have much of an energizing effect on me, though, and the l-theanine in it can make me tired. I can stay relatively still on coffee, just with my feet and fingers tapping.

>>24606240
How long did it take you? Unfortunately, I just caved and got a cup of coffee. I publish a webnovel so I can't lose weeks/months to kick this right now.

>>24606259
Have you tried energy drinks/caffeine pills? I alternate between them and coffee depending on the temperature and my mood.

>>24606328
The ideas are there, it's just the focus to get the words down I've been struggling with. I get up to do light work outs (calisthenics/dumbbell lifts) when I start to blank out, but if I do anything too lengthy I'm basically done writing for the day. Starting to wonder if I have ADD...

>>24606447
>ashwa/ashwagandha
Hmm, might give that a try. Is there a specific brand you take? I only take 1 cup of coffee as is so only real option is going cold turkey.

>>24606466
>>ashwa/ashwagandha
>Hmm, might give that a try. Is there a specific brand you take? I only take 1 cup of coffee as is so only real option is going cold turkey.
First batch I had was Force Factor. 2nd one im trying now is NaturaLife Labs's organic ashwagandha 2,100mg

>>24603737
>Your writing style has stunlocked me.
my WRITING style implying that you read it? Or did you just mean my POSTING style. Yeah that's what I thought.

>>24606447
If we're going to discuss supplements, I'd like to add that I also take ashwagandha. However, I got a noticeable improvement by adding L-theanine to that. Apparently, L-theanine interacts with caffeine to heighten the effect, so keep drinking your coffee!
BUT...the real breakthrough was when I combined both of those with NMNH. Specifically, I'm taking this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DJ1QFY6Y Fortunately, that also seems to be one of the least expensive options.
Combining all three, coupled with my usual clean living (i.e. no refined sugar, no simple carbs, no seed oils), I find this supplement cocktail reliably puts me into a creative flow state. I don't know if it'll work for you, but it definitely works for me!
But if I eat something crappy, that'll screw it up. Recently, I experienced that with corned beef; I had some left over, and made some corned beef hash from scratch. It stopped my flow state. So now I'm even more dedicated to clean living. Anyway...if you're willing...try it and let us all know if this works for you too!

>>24606504
As far as brands, both my ashwagandha and L-theanine are Nature Made, which is not only available at my local Kroger's, but at Target. Nature Made has a combo multivitamin/ashwagandha that's only $2 more per bottle than straight multivitamins, which is how I originally decided to try it. After all, it was hardly any more expensive.

>>24605465
>I'm almost up to 87K words. I could either milk the resolution for a few thousand more words or I could not do that. We'll see after I give it a full once-over.
Think like a graph. Things like drama, tension, pace, action... all rising. It drops off and levels back out quicker after resolution. You can do aftermath chapter. I like the aftermath chapter(s). Its a good place to put some things. AMong those things are the emotional stuff that would have seen odd amidst everything else while in the thick of things. I like my MC to get philosophical about everything.

>>24605636
>Does anyone else sweat like a boiling pig when the creative fever is upon you ?
I get a level of excitement, and will really dig in and keep writing. if I like it, I'll extend it with a pot of coffee.

I need to find a list of contests so I can get myself motivated.

Does reviewing, rewriting, and making fresh outlines count as writing?
I've been having a lot of shit days and recently I've been trying to get back into writing so these outlines have been pleasant for me.

>Currently have 93 chapters successfully mapped out
>Only another 200 to go
How do you guys deal with plotting your book? It's savagely hard for me to get a lock on the story. So far, I'm making 2 charts, one for events chronologically, and one for events as they happen in the book, but man, it's so hard to keep track. FUCK. Does anyone have any experience in this? I'm taking a break, my brain hurts

>>24606487
Thanks, I'll give it a shot. Do you take it in the morning or night?

>>24606504
L-theanine only makes me sleepy even when it's 100mg with 200mg of caffeine. But that NMNH stuff seems interesting. I've got a serious sweet tooth, though, that satisfying's one of my few pleasures so if that can throw it all off I might be out of luck.

>>24606732
I have a co-worker that says he takes L-theanine at night to help him sleep. But I first ran across L-theanine in a coffee booster by a company called For Wellness. From what I've read, L-theanine and caffeine have a synergistic effect. But if it doesn't for you, I'm sorry to hear that.

>>24606680
If you can't write, doing writing-related stuff that keeps you in the headspace and that you can refer to later is the second best thing you can do imo.

>>24606686
I'm more of a pantser than plotter, but when I get stuck, I'll write a few paragraphs summarizing the key points of what I want to happen in future chapters.

>>24606732
Not that non but Ashwagandha is effectively a natural SSRI. It's not for everyone.

>>24606686
I outlined from start to the definite ending. It's like a short form of the story from scene to scene in paragraph prose, akin to like a wikipedia summary of a book/movie etc but more indepth or basic as needed. Not a discovery draft by any means because I know what I want and need, but sometimes I discover things this way. So far after few chaps into the actual first draft I use it like a guideline, but I'm not straying off course or getting the characters take the helm either

>>24605639
>looking for inspiration
>none of the greats give it to me
>stumble across a folder of discarded drafts
>sovl from my past infuses my veins
Damn, I'm good.

>>24606750
Ashwagandha has been shown to increase serotonin levels in some studies and may influence serotonin receptors, but it is not an SSRI.

>the completion of my book's first draft coincided with a magnitude 3.0 earthquake
It's not like it hit at the moment I typed the last word or anything but it was on the very same night. I'm taking it as a sign.

The muses are in me and their presence boils my blood like a fusion reactor and my hands are so wet and so sweaty that they flood my keyboard and break my computer and drench every page and I am full of marvels of creation and I see every point and how they connect but I can't write any of it down even this is text to fucking speech hermes apollo I hate you

I am one of the writers of all time.

>>24606871
Shit that was just Chesterton turning in his grave. What is your book about and how do you feel about it

>>24606871
>Anon's writing has the potential to destroy New Jersey
Keep it up

>>24606874
Sir this isn't write what's on your mind.

>>24606893
Apologies let me try that again you classroom shrew.
My hands are sweaty, the duke said. His voice rolled like coils of molten bronze and squashed the shrew as flat as a single atom. On the event horizon of hearing an atomic squeak was audible.

>>24606892
https://youtu.be/sAGIC_SvIUw

>>24606885
Wow, I feel good (trumpets play)
I might post a call for alpha readers with more info later on.

>>24606874
>I see every point and how they connect
Don't worry, that'll pass along with the psychotic episode

>>24606750
>>24606822
Honestly, my depression's gotten pretty bad lately, so if it can improve my mood without intensifying my suicidal thoughts like actual SSRI's I've tried in the past, that's a bonus for me.

Hey guys, just wanted to show this short story format I made in LaTeX.

>>24606996
I'm the original guy who suggested ashwagandha and it was my main motive to getting them for this reason other than helping stay focused. Its no wonder drug—I still get serious intrusive episodes sometimes but it definitely does work. And even if it doesn't the placebo is more than enough.

>>24606871
FYI, A 3.0 "earthquake" wouldn't even make the news in California.
>>24606996
Yikes. I was only trying to help with creative flow, to make the able even more able. I know nothing about what to do for depression, though I've heard good things about rhodiola rosea from people I know in that position.

>>24606198
I don't usually drink coffee to write but I also smoke weed every day. Not to write, I just enjoy getting high.

>>24607352
weed feels good and i dont think its wrong to feel good but ir eally does have bad consequences for mental faculty. I would keep it to weekends, frend

>>24607036
Very gorgeous. The story itself is a trudge thoughever.

>>24606767
>>24606746
Yeah, I normally pants in my shorter books, but I'm intending for this to be an epic (400k+ words), so I need to plan properly. See Pic rel. This is what I'm working with so far, but by the end it's going to be triple, or even quadruple this size. The scope is massive, and I know it sounds retarded to even suggest, yet here I am suggesting

>>24607432
Yeah, this is a short story that I had abandoned after a few years. I'm going to re-write it, but I'm just using it as a demonstration of what you can do with LaTeX.

>>24607360
I already knew this information

>>24607499
I was justs trying to be nice

How do I stop telling myself that my writing sucks and I should give up and KMS?

>>24607352
I haven't smoked weed for over 10 years since I was in high school, but I started dabbling in edibles this year intending to mix it with caffeine to boost creativity. Have tried two different brands so far and even a low dose like 2.5mg's enough to completely overtake 200mg of caffeine and distract me writing wise. I start reading the same lines over and over again in slow mo. Great for winding down in the evenings before bed, though.

>>24607453
Have you heard of Plottr? I think it might suit your needs and its got a 30 day free trial.

>>24606686
I basically write a rough draft of the events I want to cover. Start with the end, then just elaborate on how I want to get there. Same for future entries/chapters, it's just a blurb until I expand on it. Even if I do plan everything out beforehand, things will inevitably change as I think of something else that's more appropriate or a new direction I want to take it.

>>24607712
Remind yourself that David Cage has released multiple "video games", and has even made a profit from them.

>>24607712
Are you implying you really have nothing else in your life except for your writing hobby?

>>24602974 (OP)
You know how some authors like George RR Martin can create widely complex stories, diverse (not like that) characters, and keep everything coherent and interesting. How do I develop that kind of logical/critical thinking? And if I'm new to writing, do I start with short pieces and build up to the longer form, or work on longer works outright?

>>24607917
Shorter pieces. Write fragments and write the same story three ways. Play around and read and don't worry about finding your voice or stealing another just read what you know is good and enter a few competitions but expect the worst.

>>24607917
Definitely start with short stories/novellas. A novel's a huge commitment and allegedly 97% of people who start one never end up finishing it. If you're not already reading a lot in your genre of choice, do so and analyze what you feel works and what doesn't.

>>24607917
Some say shorter pieces are even harder to get right than longer ones. Do whatever you're inspired to do.

>>24607942
Feels going being in the 3%. Now if only I could get into the .001% of that population who actually get published.

>>24607917
Consider a screenplay or two. The word count of a feature screenplay is comparable to a novella. And the bare-bones narrative style might teach you a lot about storytelling while forcing you to be concise with your prose.

I just spent the whole day doing a full read-through. I'm not adding more anytime soon.
Now's the time to ignore it for a while. How long should I wait before my next read-through? A week? A couple of days? Should I work on another project while I wait for it to ferment or take a break from writing altogether for a while?

Gonna write 4,000 words before midnight.

>>24607060
>FYI, A 3.0 "earthquake" wouldn't even make the news in California.
We don't get that kinda thing around here often. When it hit my first thought was that a nuke had dropped. I looked out the windows for a glowing mushroom cloud.

>>24607917
Planning. Have an outline for what you hope to accomplish, and add to it in whatever order the ideas come to you. This is known as the "chaotic plotter" style, and you may have another style that works better for you, which is fine. Consult the handy chart if you find it useful.

Anons who write on a computer: do you use two (or more) monitors when writing? If so, how do you integrate the second monitor into your writing process?

>>24607771
>Plottr
Krill yourself techno muppet

>>24608238
Pictured: Lain comes to visit while I'm working on my novel

>>24608242
And what are you, using the Internet and a technological device to interact with 4chan? You sound like a techno muppet to me.

>>24608235
>intersection of Lawful Pantser and True Plantser
yeah that checks out

I want to write an adventure novel about loneliness. What are some books or movies that might provide me with inspiration?

>>24608238
I've never used more than one monitor at a time. Seems like its more for gamers/techbros.

>>24608242
The fuck are you on about?

>>24608621
>I've never used more than one monitor at a time. Seems like its more for gamers/techbros.

I'm no gamer and I never thought of myself as a techbro. I just saw first a laptop hooked up to a bigger screen at work. The laptop just mirrored on the big monitor. Then a buddy had two bigscreens for monitors. That impressed me because he could move windows around and he basically had two desktops at once. I use two laptops, one old one newer. The newer one, I can either mirror or have a second desktop. The older one, I can only mirror it. When I'm on the older one and I have two desktops, one laptop and the big screen? I like to work on anything I open on the BIG screen. Its handy to have two images open, particularly when using GIMP. Writing? I can have a outline or notes or whatever. Say the few engligh to french phrases I needed for one big novel I made. That on the laptop screen. Handy while i can work on my text on the big screen. But I'm no techbro, LMAO. I couldn't believe it when my linux guru (the 2 screen guy) buddy told me. Dude, just plug in another monitor or big TV. Linux Mint will handle it, then you can go into display and choose how its configured. It wasn't hard and it really is more handy the more I do it.

>>24606686
>Currently have 93 chapters successfully mapped out
>Only another 200 to go
That's not a book. It's a space station.

>>24608481
So you can't base it on the details of your own lonely life?

Never forget, if Finnegans Wake can become succesful, so can your book.

>>24609614
It wasn't successful. It was widely panned in its time, and even now, its fans are mostly academics or literary critics.

I like writing, but I often feel like I have nothing profound or unique to say. I'm currently working on a post-apocalyptic Greek tragedy about a father trying to rescue his daughter (who he doesn’t realize actually ran away) but the story feels derivative. What do you do to keep things fresh?

>>24609688
You don't. Originality is a delusion dreamed up by people with low media literacy. Just pour enough love into your work and it won't come off as derivative as it is.

>>24609083
Average webnovel length

>>24609729
>Average
The web novels that reach past 100 chapters are like 0.00001% of the total number of titles. And the web novels that reach past 200 chapters are like 0.00000001%. And the web novels that reach 300 chapters...

Okay, I've successfully stopped working on my draft. Now, how do I stop thinking about it?

>>24609767
I'm sure the odds obey the usual 80/20 type distribution but I have to call bullshit on that ratio, at bare minimum the ones that pass 100k words are like 3%, at least on RR

>>24609874
Start working on another draft

My impression of “the hero’s journey” was that it identified trends in stories but wasn’t prescriptive of what should be in a story. Yes, given a handful of stories you’ll find they collectively hit all the beats but that doesn’t mean every single story hits every beat nor should they. I’m asking because the people in my writing group keep telling me my story is bad because it’s not hitting the elements I’m “supposed” to have according to the hero’s journey. I can’t tell if the rest of the group is retarded or malicious by being so insistent.
If every story is supposed to be pre-determined in structure then why bother? You may as well have AI fill in a madlib.

>>24609961
ignore them, theyre retards

>>24609961
You shrimply must read someone's work before accepting critique from them. What do the members of your writing group write ? Is it any good ?

>>24609961
https://www.novelwritingonedge.com/2020/10/problems-with-writer-groups-where-to.html

Why haven't you submitted a story for this month's /lit/ writing competition anon ? You haven't been concocting excuses, have you ?

>>24609984
its not even in the OP

>>24609976
Lots of queer romance.

>>24609984
>CHARACTER REQUIREMENT:

>A character must be possessed by lyricism
I'll pass

>>24609990
Why should an orchardkeeper take advice from a swineherd

>>24609984
free my nigga chinese dracula

How many people here are actually published? What avenue did you take and how’s it going?

huh, just discovered the top definition for 'feckless' is 'without purpose.' not sure if I've ever seen it used that way, has anyone here used it like that? the other definitions, without skill or incompetent, then cowardly, are the ones I knew, and thought would be the only ones

without purpose, hmm. That's a feckless statue in front of their house. Meh. A feckless government position. Doesn't sound right.

oh which reminds me, while typing this out I was reminded of a word which means something like, "made-up easy job," but I can't remember the word. anyone know what I'm talking about?

>>24610063
oh, sinecure, durp, duh

I'd love criticism on just this opening paragraph. Would you read on?
I'm trying to emulate Boris Vian a bit.

>>24610288
No, but I'm not really much of a reader. It doesn't feel very unique..

>>24610314
Thanks. A question, and I hope you don't take it the wrong way: why are you on /lit/ then?

>>24610322
I'm a writer lol I only read stuff thats really good i guess is what I meant. I don't read casually.

>>24610288
Smartdumb and well-written. I'd read on.

>>24603595
Who did you self publish through?

Okay, here's the finished chapter.

>get 15 views on wattpad
>novel skyrockets into the top 100 in every category
???

When you're writing with the intent to shock, what are the limits? I don't actually want to go to prison. So are you allowed to just maim characters and such? I usually write about badgers and things

You know what, I'm indecisive.
How do I write her?
>a) Spunky tomboy
>b) Bitch who is only kind to MC
>c) other

>>24610617
Push it as far as you can. You can always dial it back.

>While we are not looking for stories that "reinvent the wheel", we appreciate originality above all else.
Every single no-name publisher says shit like this. "Make sure it's original but don't actually send us anything original."

>>24610892
Name 5 (five) examples

>>24610617
What's the tone? Comical, tragic, voyeuristic?. If your going for the latter two, less is generally more. If it's the former then go wild, but be warned that shock humor often comes off as edgy in a written format

>>24610620
why do you not just ask your containment thread

>>24602974 (OP)
Someone should really bring back those pulp threads. There were some real gems in there

>>24611126
oh is /wg/ having another sperg schism episode? I haven't kept up with the retard wars lately

>>24611111
Here's more than five
https://publishedtodeath.blogspot.com/p/calls-for-submissions.html?m=1

>we are offering $5 USD for stories up to 1000k words.
wtf

>>24611222
/wng/ split off months ago

surely girls know what men think when they see pictures like this, yeah? so lewd

>>24611491
how am I supposed to magically know that I don't sit in here all day

>>24611546
I sit here all day and I have no idea wtf anon is on about

>>24609898
I keep getting distracted thinking about the other draft.

>>24611537
fuck is you sayin my nigga

>>24611581
when girls have their eyes closed and face like that, it doesn't make you think of, well, you know... and doing it for an album cover... I'm just saying it's somewhat indecent. might as well put her bare feet on the cover too

>>24611587
>make you think of, well, you know...
What is it anon? Sleeping? Being dead?

>>24611588
>>24611581
oh shit I thought i was posting in another thread, my bad, ignore me

>>24611596
Fucking idiot

>>24610482
at first it confused me, but once i understood what was going on i guess, i kinda like it.

>>24611537
I'm lost too. Am I supposed to be imagining my tongue in her anus?

You guys have any experience writing comic books or what?

>>24612444
I made some semi-popular doujins, hentai.
whats your question?

>>24612447
Uh well it was about how to plot out the dialogue when you don't have the pictures... But now I'm interested in your doujins

>>24612504
I usually had a good idea in mind of the dialogue then drew the pictures as necessary, on rare occasions you find out later that you need more pictures because the dialogue is longer than you expected

if you fapped to loli you may have seen my doujins on the panda or any other hentai site that has loli.

>>24612508
Nevermind

The above 5 posts are like a perfect summation of 4chan writers.

>>24612692
Hold my beer

>>24612508
If you're Incognitymous, your Ben Ten and Power Pack comics are extremely erotic, but you've never come close to the storytelling heights of the likes of Lunaflame/Lunaria/Arianul or even Mister D.

>>24611576
newfag.

>>24609688
Enough with the saving family shit. I love apocalypse stories, but the saving a family member trope is tired and offputting.

You've got an apocalyptic scenario and that's all your doing?

The man inserted his penis into the 2oman’s vagina. “That feels good,” she said. “Yes.” They banged.

>>24612917
Meanwhile, in the real world, The Road wins a Pultizer

>>24612945
>2oman
Might be a bit awkward to say aloud but this is a unique name for a type of sci-fi sex robot

>>24612991
Because it was like so depressing man that means its deep.

https://rentry.co/od7ik66g

Crit pls

>>24602974 (OP)
https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/1291938

Isto é entre tu e eu, nem te atreves a dizer ao jica

Mas sabias que a Helena no ano passado teve um aborto que custou 3000€?

E mais uma pergunta
Quem é que violou a Helena quando era pequena?
O Norberto, um professor de matemática ou de natação?
Foste tú? Até acredito
(Muito obrigado, pedofilo filho da puta chamada Alzira)
A pior parte é que ela deve ter gostado e isso explica tudo

Tenta não violar o bebê neto da tua gold digger, mr Ian Watkins

E também não vou tomar conta de quinta nenhuma
Quando morreres, essa quinta vai para os ciganos
Já estamos a lidar com as maldições da puta da Tia Mila
Já é triste e engraçado ao mesmo tempo ver o parvo do Tio Zé a apodrecer com as merdas dos avós
Queimam essa merda toda
"Legado de senpaiília" é um cancro

Não admira que o Jica vai ao Porto, atirar os pensos da sua mangina para outra parede

George "I built my career saying the most basic opinions and made the world more retarded" Carlin
Grande mistério que algumas pessoas são "vítimas" de violação

Quando o cocó atrai moscas, temos que lidar com as Vios e Reneés, só para alguém queixar que fez demasiados contactos
"sobre socialização" existe

Sou um gamedev com centenas de ideias, o glitterboy João Lúcio não compara

Quando a Helena se matar, lembra de onde vai ser enterrada para poderes viola-la mais uma vez

A senpaiília é a prisão original
Correntes desde o dia 1
És nascido com um perfil predefinido e informação que não escolheste
Já és obrigado a saber nomes de pessoas e levar merdas até quando és pequeno
Mas um dia, tem que haver um recomeço
Já demasiadas pessoas subiram as escadas, mando as escadas a baixo

>>24603162
you cant write good in English because you're from a third world country any country whose primary language isnt English than you should not be writing in english or are in high school reading harry potter still and have no grasp in decent literature.

>>24612991
Anon, that was nearly 20 years ago...

>>24611491
>web novel general
as if web novels were the problem

>>24613730
Exquisite bait

>>24613830
>BIG WORD MEANS I SPEAK ENGLISH

>>24613744
What was the problem?

>>24613550
>“Thank you for your time,” he’d added as a polite gesture, as the constable put down his loaded revolver, pushed up his spectacles, and downed a shot of rum over the blueprints.

>>24613947
lmfaooooo

Any audiobooks i can torrent or listen on youtube?

>>24614259
I’ve been told the Harry Potter ones are really good.

>>24613550
>Bad at Prose
>Good at Poetry
You are an anomaly, anon. An anonomly, if you will.

>>24612917
Aren't all tropes tired and off-putting? How does one decide which ones are still fresh enough to write? All fiction is derivative of other works in some way

>>24614561
You're supposed to get discouraged by your lack of originality, give up, and join the bucket crab army like anon did

Recent thing I've written. Went back to drawing for the last year or so. It's sort of a big inside joke, but my mom liked it.

https://saddestvacantlot.blogspot.com/2025/06/tubby-time.html

>>24614561
Some tropes are used more often than others

>>24614605
>blogspot
r u the last man on blogspot?

>>24614613
It's just an easy place to dump things, but probably. I use to talk to some guy that posted pulp covers that had a blogger, but he died I'm assuming. he was in his 80's

>>24614605
It's cute. It evokes DFW, like this could be an excerpt of a novel he never wrote. What's the inside joke?

>>24614613
I put my diary desu up on blogspot in those rare moments I'm inclined to make a record of my existence

>>24614631
I guess it isn’t much of a joke, but i don’t use soap when i sit in the tub and i sat in discord explaining why for like twenty minutes. Thank you for your kind words.

>>24614561
>All fiction is derivative of other works in some way
You could leave home, lead an interesting life (ideally for several years), come back home, and write about it. That's what writers used to do.

I always see the uncreative assert that you have to live an interesting life to be able to write interesting things. It's anyone's guess what they mean by "interesting." In my experience they usually just mean being rich and/or traveling a lot.

All my life, I’ve been haunted by aliens. I guess it all started when I hit puberty. Like most teenagers, I had a crippling porn addiction. I had to share a room with my grandpa bc my parents were poor, and I paid for it by working nights in a tortilla factory. I used to get big pimples and my coworkers would call me Big Pimplin and twist my titties til they bled. I’m telling you this just so you know I’m not a liar.

One night, I came home from work and granpda was dead. This happened all the time, so I fluffed his pillow and closed his eyes with my thumb. Then I took off my shoes and got into bed, but I was too hot, so I got out of bed, took off my socks and got back into bed. Then I had to go to the bathroom, but I was already comfortable, so I decided to toot my own horn i.e. stroke it crazy style instead.

But I was paralyzed! I couldn’t move a muscle. The room filled with light, which came from a luminous entity standing at the foot of my bed. I looked into its big black eyes and the entity spoke to me telepathically. It told me that humans were destroying the planet. If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down and all that lib crap. I was shown visions of human civilization turning to dust in an apocalyptic wasteland. It was preachy af and crazy boring.

So I cussed out the entity, verbally and mentally, until it shut the hell up. I regret that I did not pay attention in school, because I could’ve said much worse. The entity was triggered all the same. I thought it was going to leave, but then my entire bed began to fill with light. The light was wet and smelled very bad. That’s when I realized that the entity was pissing all over my bed.

Next thing I knew, it was early in the morning. My grandpa was alive and singing like a canary in a coal mine. Mom was furious. The mattress was soaked through to the boxspring. My bladder was mysteriously empty, but I think I know my own piss and that wasn’t mine. That was pure alien piss. My clothes were completely dry. But no one believed me. I told all my coworkers and they just started calling me Pissy Panties. Then I got fired.

>>24614690
You don't have to be rich to join the military. Kurt Vonnegut, to name one example, got a lot of mileage out of his service. And I'm not the one complaining that all fiction is derivative. I have no problem being creative, only having the time, energy, and focus outside of day jobbery to pursue it. Cope more.

>>24614810
So, if you're poor, your only option to be interesting is to lay down your life for the rich and powerful. Got it.

>>24614690
yeah
non-creatives have unspeculating minds

>>24614618
>blogspot
>he was in his 80's
figures

>>24614816
>u gave one option
>noooo that must be the only option HOW DARE UUUU
For someone interested in writing, you sure seem to lack imagination. How about a backpacking tour of Europe? Or joining an archaeological dig? Maybe a job at a TV station in some third world country. There are a lot of options, and they're far more likely to stir up your creative juices than a constant cycle of anime, vidya, fapping, passing out, and tendies in the room in your mommy's house where you grew up.

>>24614878
>a constant cycle of anime, vidya, fapping, passing out, and tendies in the room in your mommy's house where you grew up.
i know this gets thrown around a lot but: holy shit, the projection lmaooooo

>>24614881
You wish. That's not even remotely what my life is like. I'm a well-paid late-stage wagie who owns his own house. And I have no problem coming up with ideas that aren't derived from fiction. I was trying to help you, but it appears you'd rather seethe to protect your fragile ego. At least you don't have to wonder why you can't write anything interesting.

>>24614810
I was in the service. I almost got killed several times.

>>24614932
And that didn't give you something to write about??? Many writers would kill for that sort of experience, pun intended.

>ask chatgpt for feedback on my two chapters
>it starts analyzing plot points that literally aren't there and were never there and praising or criticizing stuff that isn't contained in the actual text and will quote sentences as standouts that don't actually exist
wtf is this shit

>>24615092
yes, it sucks. It can only hold a couple thousand words in its context window at a time. It fakes holding more by summarizing earlier input, but then it starts hallucinating details. They can make the context window larger, but it starts taking much, much more time to process.

>>24613550
why the poem?

>>24614914
>you can't write anything interesting
please stop projecting all over the thread, you're making a mess

>>24615092
You are most likely not using Thinking mode. ChatGPT is absolutely useless if you are not using Thinking.
>>24615098
Google's AI Studio has a 1,000,000 token context.

>>24610288
>>24610288
>>24613550
>The weather forecast had said they would be, but it was often wrong; the morning newspapers had announced it, but everyone knew those writers were paid to lie; the policeman outside the bank had tipped his hat and started wheeling his bike to let them know he’d soon be chasing them, but he was always given to the strangest practical jokes.
Incredibly clunky writing. You start with a good rhythm: "The weather forecast had said they would be" followed by "but it was often wrong". But you lose this flow completely in the next bit. "But everyone knew those writers were paid to lie" is too wordy and breaks the pattern. And the sentence only gets more unwieldy as it continues.
The same is true for the rest of the excerpt. Are you ESL? Eg.:
>It all could have gone differently just an hour back

I'm looking for alpha/beta readers.
>85K words
>satirical horror-drama
>literary vampire
If these words entice you, send me an email. I'll send back the full description and we'll go from there.
productionblues@proton.me

>~1000 words written, two days in a row
Are they any good? Fuck if I know, but it's (almost) 2000 words of my nemesis

Bounced back from a slump with 3,5k yesterday. Most of it was disjointed dogshit and nearly made me despair and delete half of it, but after sleeping on it, I'm more hopeful about it. Maybe it can still be edited into something fun. Let's see how today goes.

Post your daily routine —

10:00 Double espresso and 50mg Vyvanse
10:30 Cigarette
10:45 Meditate
11:00 Begin to write
11:15 Jack off
15:00 Five boiled eggs, assorted antipasti, double espresso
16:00 Triple tequila and lime
17:00 Two more cigarettes
18:00 Short walk
19:00 Tequila, cigarette, tomato soup
20:00 Tequila
21:00 Ready to write
21:00 Jack off
02:00 Sleep

>>24615350
But I don't have a problem finding subjects to write about, and none of them come from other fiction. I was trying to help the anon that thought all fiction comes from other fiction, which is most definitely not true. But it seems you'd rather seethe and bluster in an attempt to preserve the fragments of your shattered ego. No wonder your writing doesn't progress. I had other advice to give, but I won't bother.

>>24615859
Didn't see anything related to "work a paid job" or "interact with other human beings". You sound like you're on the way to an early grave, and for your body to be found several months after your demise.

>>24615863
What's so bad about it? I get eight hours sleep, eat well, exercise, meditate, and express myself. My parents support my dreams. I have no interest in contributing to the economy.

>>24615861
>I was trying to help the anon that thought all fiction comes from other fiction
who

>>24615884
Do you have any evidence of your writing ability? And as for your parents, do they support your dreams, or are they just embarrassed they produced such a useless vegetable? And what happens when they pass away?
>>24615900
This one >>24614561

>>24615859

08.00. Wake up tired, try to go back to sleep.
09.00. Give up sleeping, force some coffee and breakfast down my throat.
10.00. Read the news, pray for apocalypse.
11.00. Conclude that fucking nothing has happened or will ever happen
12.00. Go buy groceries and cook lunch.
13.00. Read or do research.
15.00. Start writing.
16.30. Take a coffee break.
17.00. Resume writing.
20.00. Give up, disappointed at my pathetic progress. Work out a bit and take a shower and eat something.
21.00. Argue with retards on 4chan.
22.00. Play games.
23.00. Tell myself I should sleep but don't feel sleepy.
01.00. Force myself to bed.
02.00. Pass into deathlike slumber.
08.00. Wake up tired.

>>24615954
Ok, be kind.

The prince laughed often and that laugh rung full of pity. How dumb some people were. How much they missed. How he could make a joke that was obviously a joke but some dumb fool would obviously miss it. He didn't even drink. Since the operation he didn't even smoke. His parents long dead, his gooning days long done, his post imbued with every aspect of insincerity, yet still some dumb wretch still took it as true.

How's that ?

>>24615962
>21.00. Argue with retards on 4chan.
So you're in China?

>>24615971
Per your request, I won't criticize your writing itself, but its length. So you produce a handful of sentences and call it writing? Anyone can do that. What sort of longer-form works do you make? Short stories? Screenplays? Novellas? Novels?

>>24614962
>And that didn't give you something to write about??? Many writers would kill for that sort of experience, pun intended.
Wow. I was drunk-posting last night. Now I get to see the inglorious results. It is with baited breath I scroll up from the most recent and see my cringe. kek.

>>24615975
I give up. I don't know if you have been pretending to me retarded or you actually are but regardless you win. All my posts have been jokes. That routine was fiction. If you have been playing along, I applaud you. If not, God save you.

>>24616004
kek what the fuck hahahah that's stolen glory nigga that's illegal

>>24614561
>Aren't all tropes tired and off-putting? How does one decide which ones are still fresh enough to write? All fiction is derivative of other works in some way
I think most if not all writers suffer from this dichotomy. You first choose your genre. Every genre has defining elements. You can think of them as touching each base or you don't get the home run and score. Try writing a crime noir without some gratuitous sex and violence as a quick example. Its (almost) compulsory to the genre. But you're up against the wall aren't you, of course you are. Where's my originality! Where does checking off the required elements turn into trope. Ialways heard tolkein invented elves and goblins and magic. Now older I hear he didnt invent it he just "defined" it. IE, he was the ear;liest pre-eminent in his class. He was "Le Roi" French for literally... the king. A thing or example pre-eminent in its class. It never ends, does it. Are you "paying homage to" or simply aping. Are you aping or imitating. It gets tiresome and if you have the testicular fortitude? You will simply have a shooter of fine home made whiskey and start typing. I honestly think some of the best possible writers never get onto the common tricks they need to be readable and enjoyable. Look at the original Star Wars. Was is siskel or Ebert that said it. How old is this crap. The evil black robed mystic leader has captured and tortured the innocent white robed virgin princess. The young hero must prostrate himself before some master cunningly hidden around him as a poor old fool. To learn the esoteric fighting ability and the secret magic techniques (the f-o-r-c-e). As a child (yes I am that old, scream boomer oldfag and enjoy it, LMAO) I marveled at the special effects as did the adults. Older? I went back and watched the favorite movie of my youth. Yes, he was correct. Wooden acting out of everyone but Gielgud (ObiWan) and Harrison Ford. Ford being the only one of the whole cast to go on to a real career in good acting. Grand Moff Tarkington and a few other older hands aside.
It was total schlock, trope on steroids. Special effects carried it.
We learn early things that are true. Worry about knowing your characters inside and out, they should seem real to you. Nail character and dialog and the tropeiest of tropse for a plot will be fine. I'm certainly not claiming secret wizardry but my first read-able project where I enjoy reading y own shit I took? Skeletal outline, a tired trope for plot, but I was (re) using characters and situations I was well versed in. I would advise using the same characters over and over again. Different names, different periods but they are really the same character models. Project to project. I can "see"in my minds eye. I know how they speak, what they would do, all that. all of this? Only got me to minimum barrier of entry to being readable. But you have to get "there".

>>24615549
English is my native language, but I do nearly all of my recreational reading in Green and Latin. I oppose the dogma of short, clear sentences. I think it is both a cause and effect of the dumbing down of anglo society.

Are all of you niggers? That seems like the only reasonable explanation for so much stupid.

>>24616016
>kek what the fuck hahahah that's stolen glory nigga that's illegal
Oh. I actually was in the service. I was just worried about what manner of cringe I posted. I hope I was entertaining. Like any good blackout I have those little snapshot pictures of cringe. I know what one of the cringe posts were and honestly its a good no great idea. perhaps sober I might have the ability to form sentences and elucidate the fine points. Or more cringe. The day is yet young. Who even knows. So anon, its been nice not meeting you. kek.

>>24616089
>Are all of you niggers? That seems like the only reasonable explanation for so much stupid.
Certainly not all of course. We are collectively composed of niggers and faggots, primarily. A handful of other malcontents tossed in. A few token whites. Study after study has confirmed this. The only surprising conclusions have come from proving that nigger-faggots are rising in percentage of the aggregate. Christ Anon. We have assholes now that can't tell the difference between nigger-faggots and faggot niggers. I mean that's the state of things on the ground, what can I tell you Anon. You fucking nigger.
*kek*

/lit/ is 60% wasian, 30% indian, and 10% other based on meetup photos

>>24616160
sauce?
>Captcha: W8PNS

>>24616166
i dont save meetup photos

>>24616160
Lit is 90% autistic and 10% British

I want to write a charismatic playboy MC who hits on girls a lot but I'm not a charismatic playboy. How do I make my MC convincing and, more importantly, believable and likeable?

>>24616060
performative schizo babble
respect your message well enough to say it well

>shitposting comes to me as naturally as breathing
>writing comes as hard as breathing in space
how do I transfer my skillset

>>24616208
write longer shitposts. write them longer and longer until they number four pages and suddenly classify as experimental fiction.

>>24616190
Make him rich

>>24616076
>I oppose the dogma of short, clear sentences. I think it is both a cause and effect of the dumbing down of anglo society.
That is not the point. Your sentences read CLUNKY, not "too long". I also do not believe that you are a native speaker. No one would ever write a sentence like this.
>It all could have gone differently just an hour back

>>24616311
You sound too dogmatized. That is a perfectly normal sentence.

Hello, this is an excerpt taken right in the middle of Chapter 9 of my low-fantasy political story. The POV character is a man called Skor (a newly arrived Commander at a foreign, conquered city) and he doesn't get named until the second or third paragraph, so don't worry if you're confused while reading in the beginning.

I'd appreciate critique/feedback on prose, dialogue and descriptions and less on plot/premise (hence why I opted to post this very specific passage).

https://medium.com/@panosfrag/chapter-9-excerpt-c7f9e9205022

>>24616327
>Many such cases.
Sad!

Around 4/20 celebrations the Deadheads, Philly, Omar and I went to an Infected Mushroom concert at the Showbox. Micah and Fate wanted to sell their acid at the show and the rest of us had basically nothing to do besides find a show and hang outside. Philly was leeching off the Deadheads as much as he could and I'd learned by now that having your own things to do was an important part of being perceived as competent. When I took breaks from the squat and others I could tell they were always wondering what I was off doing, even though it was usually nothing
.
Early into the night outside the concert Micah called out to a passing girl for doses and she exclaimed she already had some. He asked her what kind and she mentioned it was some sort of research chemical. Micah was incredulous, he demanded she trade the research chems for his acid. He went to her car with her and returned a few minutes later with several mystery tabs, which he declared trash and threw away.

After being there a few hours a lightly drunk man in a nice suit who wasn't there for the show came to talk with us. Hiding in his shadow was his well dressed wife who looked as though she'd rather be anywhere but there. She tried to speak but he kept cutting her off, completely ignoring her. He told us he was tired of his wife blowing his money on clothes and accessories while complaining whenever he spent a little on himself. He asked if we smoked cigarettes and the others chimed in that they did. Micah and Philly went around the corner with him to the closest convenience store.

The group returned a few minutes later with a few cartons of cigarettes and many $20 scratchers, which the man handed out to everyone standing around. Collectively it was probably not even 200 dollars but you would've thought everyone there had been called up on The Price Is Right. A random homeless guy picked up on the interaction and received the gifts by proxy, standing close to our circle. Nobody won anything over $10 but the wealthy man's point was made all the same, his wife had become silent and she stared at the ground as if questioning where her life had gone so right. A therapist would no doubt sit through all the agonizing details later - 'and then, he made me watch while those homeless people scratched off all the tickets..'

>>24616327
The writing from what I saw is clear enough. Nothing fancy or purple, just communicating a story. It could use a proofread or two, but there's nothing egregious. Although I should say that my lack of investment in the plot/premise led me to skim quite a bit.

do you like it anon?
https://justpaste dot it/jzol0

you guys do too much talking shit and not enough crit

>>24614371
>An anonomly

>>24616557
the monthly competition is the only place to get proper critique, and of a far higher usefulness, because you can contrast what they say agaisn't what they themselves write.

>>24616503
It's fine I guess. Nothing stand-out. Maybe a little too melodramatic for me.

>>24616557
>effort crit
>they sperg out
not worth the effort
I like giving critiques but writers are insecure niggers and the most frequent posters here are highly mentally ill shitposters

>>24616311
The sentence seems normal to me. The other weird things in the story are probably attributable to the author trying to make it sound surreal. Not withstanding the typos and such...

Hey dudes, trying something out. Not sure if it's working. It's supposed to feel a bit visual, like you're reading a comic book. The external plot is about a guy writing one, but he's struggling with major porn addiction, so he can't get anything right. Anyway, my questions are mostly about the style and layout. What do you think? Is it evocative? Is it lame? All the stuff in asterisks will be italicised, but it's a bit hard to read in the screenshot.

>>24616738
dios mio...

>>24616743
Yeah I'm pretty tired, so my spelling isn't the best at the moment. What was wrong with it?

>>24616738
this is amazing

>>24616219
sound advice actually. I can't be the only person that tries something out with an experiment chapter. When its something I historically can't do I might get one page before losing it. Then three, then five and so on. Eventually after enough restarts I get to where I can so 10 to 25 page chapter of the new thing. Or is there some other method I'm not aware of.

>>24616190
>I want to write a charismatic playboy MC who hits on girls a lot but I'm not a charismatic playboy. How do I make my MC convincing and, more importantly, believable and likeable?
Two words. Character Model. You locate someone in real life and observe them. It could be anyone but you need time to study. If they "are" your character you use them. You describe them physically and in other ways. Did someone ever tell you someone said such and such and you can just close your eyes and hear them saying it? In the same vein your character model will give you all the real life fleshed out things you need. You can split the character model in a separate Physical Model for description and the other model for everything else.

>>24616166
>>Captcha: W8PNS
I'm thinking thats a HAM radio call sign.
Hold on.
Yes.
type "W8PNS" into google search bar.
One of the first links even said photos of something.

What if I wrote a short story a day? You would master it, wouldn't you? I have one written which I think is excellent that I submitted to a competition. This could work as the beginning of another one.

Joseph took a pellet from an Airsoft gun to the left eye and he counted himself lucky because his right eye had always been the most beautiful of the two and when he squinted he always closed his left eye anyway and looked out through the right. His right eye was a dazzling grey that looked like shining silver in the sun and his left eye was a boring brown. He didn't understand the genetics of it, knowing vaguely that the gene for brown eyes was dominant over lighter shades, so he reasoned that his father's brown eyes had struck a deal with his mother's light greyish-green eyes and the two would share his ocular organs fifty-fifty. But the brown eye was now milky and no longer coordinated with the grey eye so Joseph wore a patch over it and that gave him a striking, if not intimidating appearance which he relished when people stared struck by the glow of his one remaining functional eye.

>>24616877
ugh

>>24616877
Read this back to yourself. You could accomplish everything in a single sentence. I also had the one story a day delusion. It's easy to say when the fever is in you. Writing is easy and then it's unbelievably hard. Be hard on yourself but don't give up.

>>24616905
>You could accomplish everything in a single sentence.
Writing in essence is a series of footnotes the author makes to the reader. Should someone also say "the sky was blue" instead of writing it a sonnet? I read for aesthetic pleasure. Some writing is ecstatic, most is of the "creative writing for dummies" genre.

>>24616925
I agree. But that passage has neither aesthetic pleasure nor interest, and thus should simply a single line.

>>24616925
I agree that prose should not be treated as informative writing but whatyou wrote is meandering and ineffectual
you do write like a litfic contest writer. this is not a compliment

posting a different part from this since nobody commented on the last one, any heavy criticism is welcome

https://rentry.co/hoboshuffle

part of a longer story obviously, jumping right into some meat while skipping the first chapter explaining how I got there

>>24616956
It's not entirely convincing. It needs more to elevate above travel posting. It needs to be vivid or violent.
I long for more tactile details. Less cliche descriptions. The sentences wash together. All a similar color. I longed for something bright to shock me.

>>24616946
>>24616949
I don't take it personally. I write in lots of styles.

>>24616969
does it change your opinion about the tone to know it's a long novel with many more observations and insights as I begin to gain them in the story? It's a true story, everything cliche was cliche in real life

>>24616759
Really? You think so?

>>24616956
>skipping the first chapter explaining how I got there
without the first chapt it's hard to criticize. i would say it's interesting enough, but the voice doesn't correspond to the situation without a convincing explanation. i don't hear the narrator's voice and think, oh yeah, I can picture this guy hanging with these kids.

>>24617161
The first chapter is bullshit I don't think needs to be included, approx 4.4k words but tl;dr it opens with me in the Seattle airport not knowing what the fuck I'm doing or where to go, it then goes into how the only time I'd been in seattle before was to go to Alaska for the army, i get in trouble within a few weeks of being there and they kick me out a few months later I go over a bit of things in KC that happen while i'm sleeping in my vehicle until it gets totaled and I buy a one way ticket to Seattle to live like a hobo

It loops back to the first few paragraphs which are me landing in seattle

as far as the flat voice goes I have no idea how to fix it, most of the early stuff seems to just be recalling events until I become seasoned enough to make observations on my own. Being that it's all true and every person in this could have a problem with what I write honestly about them, I feel like this is probably the best solution.

So everyone and their mothers say that it's basically impossible to have your first book published if it's long (>100k words). Is that true? What should one do if he's done with two drafts of a longer story? Does he just endlessly keep offering it to agents, try to trim it down, or write something shorter and shelf the longer story for later?

>>24617272
There's always some fucking reason the thing can't be published, your job is to push past that and find a way to get it out there

>>24617232
>The first chapter is bullshit I don't think needs to be included
then you should drop it entirely and make this chapt the first chapt. and open the scene with talkign to Diver and save the backstory. use dialogue to reveal whatever you need to from the backstory

Is "traveler" used in the US? Is "oi" used in the US?

>>24617272
> two drafts of a longer story?
Did you do a round specifically aimed at cutting it down?

>>24617330
there is no real place the explanation for how I get to this point can go, I actually have a few paragraphs kind of early after I explain who else all the other people are about how nobody ever talks about their past on the streets unless they're a homebum crying about their sob story.

the story contains very little direct dialogue unless it was something I directly remembered as being relevant to establishing the scene, like Rosalyn kicking open the door and shouting Oi

oi is just something the traveling kids say. They aren't gypsy travelers like the ones in Europe, these were dirty kids, a subtype of homeless in the US

>>24616557
because most of the people on this board and ITT especially dont speak english
we had a "where are you all from thread" a few months ago and everyone was from third world countrys

>>24617344
>oi is just something the traveling kids say
leaf here. can attest
looking forward to reading your work

>>24617357
I just rewrote the first paragraphs and added an anecdote from my first day there, your guys' feedback is appreciated

>>24617344
>explanation for how I get to this point
it's probably not needed then.

>>24617370
I guess it explains why i'm there, a different kind of druggie fuck up like the rest of the people around, one unfortunate circumstance after another. I'll just post it and let you decide, i've added a bit missing between the first chapter and where I posted the other. Warning like I said it's about 4k words + a bit of the next chapter I've already posted
https://rentry.co/hobointro

This is all relatively unpolished and I realize there's probably unnecessary parts in here but ofc it's always easier to cut later. First paragraph is weak as fuck but I assume will come to me at some point.

>>24602974 (OP)
>The character can barely get through 5 pages of reading, but is convinced about writing several novels
Who writes this stuff...?

>>24617382
i don't see anything there in the first chapt that you have to include. you could just omit it.

>>24616160
Those photos are filtered by who actually wants to meet other anons in person.

>>24617272
Just self-publish. Unless you're a crippled black lesbian trans, you'll never get tradpubbed.

>>24617434
You're right and I feel the same way for the most part, but the first question that everyone asks when they hear I did these things is 'how did you end up there' and it's kind of hard to establish otherwise. Being a novel I figured I'd flesh it out a bit rather than just mentioning I'd gotten kicked out the army with zero context. I guess i'm aiming for about 60-90k words, this intro has approx 4k and I've currently got another 24k written that cover the next few months in Seattle. Obviously the entire thing could be cut but then I feel like I'm basically an amorphous blob with no history

>>24617439
Then it must be 99% wasian, since all wasians are autistic

>>24617452
What is wasian? White Asian? Western Asian?

>>24617467
White asian

>>24617470
Oh I've only ever heard hapa used for that

>>24616956
I like it
your prose needs work but it reads fine. the bit of introspection ar the beginning was a bit stiff and awkward. scenes flow together well. I like how stopping to talk about Diver's stuff makes for a rest in the pace, placed in a moment of rest
travelogues might not be the highest form of literature but they can be great reads, especially if you have interesting stories to tell. goodluck brah

>>24617542
Thanks for checking it out, I rewrote those paragraphs where I get to Seattle a little and added to them, unless you mean the army stuff in my other post because the original link isn't working anymore. I think I'm lacking passionate tone because I'm not trying to make the reader feel anything most of the time, building towards some pretty absurd shit that happens that the reader can make their own judgement on, next to the one I develop. It has the benefit of being true but like I mentioned before a lot of people will probably be butthurt if they ever read what I write about them either way

As far as the travelogue shit I continue on several months in Seattle, then Montana, Colorado, short stint back in Washington, some time in Southern Oregon, a few months on Haight in San Francisco before traveling down to LA and San Diego with some people I met in SF, if I try to make the novel run an entire year I'm in Arizona by January. There's a lot of real shit that happens and plenty of cultural relevancy that is probably all washed away by fentanyl now. I don't know of any modern Kesey or Kerouac actually living the life and writing stories about it, so I figured I might as well. Another interesting thing is that you will be able to look up some of the people I write about and find them pretty easily as successful artists

What is this 140k words cap bullshit man? I'm writing a Sci-Fi book. There's no way I can fucking fit all that needs to happen in it in 140k words and still have it be good.

>>24617568
Then ignore the cap and self-publish like everyone who isn't a black lesbian bipolar trans.

>>24617596
based

>>24617568
Don't worry. You're a white male writing sci-fi, troonpub won't take you anyways. Bite the bullet and either self-publish or serialize on RR+Patreon ($5-10 to read ahead by about a month of chapters or to access the whole book if you want to do the higher price) then stub and self-publish (For extra money)

>>24617450
>everyone asks when they hear I did these things is 'how did you end up there'
it's different between real life and fiction though. i mean people will ask but if it's not important, it's not important. think of the sun also rises for example, where you are just thrown into the story without any context. that's a difference literary fiction and telling a story around a campfire. if you include all that preliminary stuff, your story will seem even less like fiction and more like your diary. you are already pushing your luck becuase you hardly have any actual scenes. in other words, you are telling but not showing. it's remarkable that you could go sequentially through the entire day like that in a couple of pages. at this speed, i kind of doubt you will make it to 60-90k words.

>>24617568
Most sci-fi books are short. It's the fantasy that are doorstoppers. Maybe you are doing it wrong.

>>24617670
It's science fiction with a fantasy structure. Because I like fantasy books, but I also like technology.

>travel writing assignment for my writing class
>teacher is obsessed with travel writing slop and new journalism
>ask him for early feedback
>insists I cut the first part of my story and start in the middle of the action, leave the details about where and what out of place
>final feedback comes
>completely misunderstands where the story takes place because he insisted I cut out those details
>removes points from my story because of his own confusion that he created

got I hate professors

>>24602974 (OP)
Is there another good phrase for a weakening but still annoying to deal with power like the "sick man of Europe/Asia" phrase was used to refer to the Ottomans and Qing?

>>24617758
>travel writing assignment
>insists I cut the first part of my story
what

>>24617443
>>24617596
And even if you are those things your odds are still in the gutter
t. many of those things

>>24617814
"You're starting too early" is common all-purpose advice, think like "show don't tell."

>>24617758
In defense of the guru, frontloading any kind of story with opening exposition is generally a bad plan and a recipe for boring writing. David Mamet said something like, "For all the talking everyone does about backstory, the only thing anyone cares about is what happens next."

>>24617859
Well, it applies in fiction pretty often, but travel writing...?
>yep, that's me, being dragged into a back alley in Alanya by a pair of thugs. You must be wondering how I got like this. Well, I'm not going to tell you because my professor told me not to

>>24617874
Yes, to travel writing. Nobody cares about the part where you sat on a plane reading for a few hours.

>>24617876
Is the plane ride the only thing you can think about? I believe telling where you're going, how, when and, most importantly, why, is among the most important, elementary parts in a motherfucking travel journal.

>>24617879
importantly yes, but a skilled travel writer would weave the why between the where

>>24617859
>In defense of the guru
thats fine but then he shouldnt complain about being confused about where the story takes place when he literally told me to cut that part out
hes a fucking retard

besides I hint throughout the story that it takes place in europe, yet for some reason he kept assuming it was in asia with retarded comments like "tipping culture isnt a thing a here"

>>24617879
And I believe that frontloading your story with where you're going, how, when and, most importantly, why, is bad writing.

>>24617933
The only way we're going to be able to tell if you're a brilliant writer misunderstood by an idiotic educator is if you pyw

>>24617949
not interested in doxxing myself, besides im not a brilliant travelwriter, i hated the assignment, its shit, but the feedback he gave was trash and i wouldve score better if i ignored his own words

don't fall for the campaigns of hopelessness. how you won't be published because you aren't persecuted enough, because your prose isn't simple enough, because your words are too many or too few or too unlikely to be understood. write for yourself ten years ago or for your ancestors. no sane man could pretend that they go into writing to make a killing or to become a celebrity. write for the dead or write for the gods. the point is not to supplicate yourself with the living.

>>24617998
Maybe he was playing 4D chess to teach you something about working with editors.

Fall for the campaigns of hopelessness—how you won't be published because you aren't persecuted enough, because your prose isn't simple enough, or because your words are too many or too few or too unlikely to be understood. Suppress anything unique to you and write for a wide audience. You got into writing to make a killing and to become a celebrity. Imagine what the most generic person in the world would read and write for them. The point is to eradicate any love for or joy of creating.

>>24617663
Thanks for the feedback, what do you mean at this speed? Moving too fast? The story isn't about any of the people or places in particular, it's about US street culture in general and homelessness/traveling as escape. This story is supposed to take place over the course of 6 months to a year and it's not really supposed to read like a story so much as it is explain certain aspects of American Culture to people who would otherwise be unable to mingle with it through strings of connected anecdotes, those first few days go so quick because I did nothing those days and nothing of note happened otherwise - I assume you mean I should describe what everything looks like more?.

I've got 25k words that make up ~3 months in Seattle and I'm still going back and entering new paragraphs with various details, there is a slight limit to the anecdotal fluff I can continue to pull out of my ass for this section but there is no abrupt end to my travels that I need to fluff the pages out to reach.

>>24618150
>>24618150
>>24618150

>>24618046
No way he knew alldat

>>24617568
Source?