Thread 24620011

ITT: Describe your life and other anons give you book recommendations based on it

>college dropout
>short, fat, pug-face, small dick, hispanic
>living with parents, 24 years old
>kissless and hugless virgin, no friends
>work at subway where my boss and coworkers constantly make passive aggressive jokes about me
>woke up at noon and then got in bitter argument with my mom for the 20th day in a row
>ate a bunch of poptarts for breakfast, felt like complete shit
>took a massive dump while watching clips of the bee movie and then jacked off, but missed and was out of toilet paper so I had to use the toilet paper roll to wipe my ass and clean up the cum everywhere
>want to become a writer but haven't read a full book in months, always starting them but getting bored and dropping them
>the last book i finished was siddartha because it's like 100 pages and super easy
>started a goodreads challenge for a book a week and then changed it to one book/year because of my constant anxiety about it
>wanted to spend last year learning a new language but learned only very basic japanese, spent most of my time watching anime and jacking off to hentai and JAV
>lungs and head hurts constantly and i feel nauseous 24/7 because of my nicotine addiction
>spend like two-three hours planning out my plan for this year and downloading various textbooks and creating study guides and book reading lists that I will never follow
>jack off again and then eat a bunch of hot pockets
>start to read a new book but then put it down and open my computer and spend the rest of my day alternating between watching bbc cuck porn and posting various low energy memes on /lit/ while chuckling to myself
>it is now almost 3 in the morning

>>2462001188
Run away, before you die like this. See the world, read the green knight, Get active, travel, find nature, find God, be vulnerable, live

>>24620011 (OP)
Oblomov

>>24620011 (OP)
The Bible. You need serious help. Get religion.

>>24620011 (OP)
you're asking for book recommendations but you're getting prayers. I will also recommend a book to you but it is difficult. Having searched my mind, I recommend The Symposium. Any translation not by a woman should do

>>24620011 (OP)
Gargantua and Pantagruel. Doesn’t really do anything you said but I think it can save you

>>24620031
Nice.

I have extremely low self-esteem and it prevents me from doing anything. I'm scared to apply for better jobs because I don't think I'll be able to handle them, and I'm scared to get a girlfriend because I'm confident she'll just end up bored with me.

>>24620011 (OP)
Hey OP, have you considered abstaining from porn/jacking off? It doesn't solve all your problems by itself, but it will make you life feel more real and meaningful, and it will also help your vibes so that people don't make fun of you.

>>24620171
>I'm scared to get a girlfriend
you don't just get those at walmart, anon

>Hispanic
>BBC cuck porn
Better Never to Have Been.

>>24620011 (OP)
Hit the meditation map lil nigga. For short ingrates who've come last in the genetic lottery, cultivation of spirit is the last path open for self-transmutation. When the mist in your mind begins to clear you fill start to regain control of yourself. You'll be able to say NO to the voice that commands thee to goon before wiping your ass. You'll become More than a puppet for someone else's desire. You will need to build a power of Will from nothing. You just need to build it one brick at a time. Start with sitting five minutes a day. Slowly add another minute, and another minute after that. You'll find yourself more inclined towards reading. You'll find yourself more inclined towards real food. Perhaps in time you'll even begin to live life.

>>24620011 (OP)
Similar except I'm a high school dropout NEET and closer to 30 than 20. Only read one book this year. I don't understand how I'm almost thirty years old. It feels like I was 17 about a year ago at most. Life is passing me by at a breakneck pace and I am idly staring at a blurred illegible image of it. I am very afraid of death, and very busy escaping from life. Video games and anime occupy all of my time. Bored by everything unless I drink, which I've been doing every day for months. I feel sorry for my poor mother, but apparently not enough to do anything to change. I am irredeemable scum and deserve no one's sympathy.

>>24620171
you can always just make yourself do something.
such as buying a flight to some foreign place. it's just a click. then you gotta go and be forced into a novel experience and a totally different mode of action..

>>24620422
You have my sympathy and some degree of my love, anon. It sounds gay but I wish I could hug you, not out of pity but fellow-feeling and a desire that you shall attain peace and happiness

>>24620181
I'm handsome and in good shape, I'm just too scared to pursue anyone.

>a bit of a rough childhood because of home life
>obsessed with being alone for most of childhood and adolesence
>fearful of the future, expecting to kill myself by 20
>have a horrible relationship with religion and shame
>go to Catholic school, become Catholic
>overwhelming shame intensifies
>but get some of my very best friends
>and gain a new hope in the future by pursuing what I love: language and history
>go to college
>degree in classical languages
>have a very nice time, join a frat, become agnostic, respect religion as it is but put it away for myself for my own well being
>still very interested in it but from a historical angle
>cut loose, drink and smoke weed just about everyday as a "daily unwind" with my roommates
>read a lot of Plato and the Presocratics, fall in love again with my passion
>graduate, go out of state for a post bacc
>stop drinking and smoking because I'm entirely dependant on my parents
>it's hell, I live in a closet for 10 months and hate being financially dependant
>move back with friends' help and get a shitty part time job
>live with them for a time, quit job
>start grad student in classical languages
>it pays too
>doing a lot of research, feels good man
>still maintaing connections with old high school friends and frat buddies who moved to my town after college
>making new connections with my colleagues and professors
>move into my own apartment
>improve my connections with my family
>have a very lovely gf who supports me, she's the first person whom I've told I love beyond friends and family
>enjoying my last free summer before I need to start working for the season next year
>>24620011 (OP)
My advice is to start with smaller, short term goals before advancing to bigger ones, like "don't watch porn for the next four hours and do something productive and/or genuinely enjoyable" instead of "read a book a week for the whole year." Also, journaling helped me a lot when I was lost because at the very least it got my thoughts together in a more concise way as opposed to having them constantly feeding off each other in your head. For books, I'd recommend Lev Shestov's All Things Are Possible and Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson.
>>24620171
You can't expect any of your fears to come to fruition if you do nothing, that's the easy way out. It's better to try and fail than not try at all because at least you will have lived. I'd recommend Gogol's comedies and Hemingway's The Old Man and The Sea.

>>24620028
Based

>>24620787
Any 90's novel about a recognizable ip

Avoid 80's or 2000 onwards they saw the money and lost the soul

>>24620011 (OP)
>43
>never married
>male
>into history and philosophy
>play guitar
>been in 4 bands
>autistic, but very high functioning
>been falsely accused of rape
>seven ex girlfriends
>had a YouTube channel - but moved to Odysee
>write essays on substack about history and philosophy
>have two deceased friends, and one deceased younger cousin
>live in Ohio
>never went to college but are about to for world history
>ethnicity is English and Scottish but have stepfather's last name which is German
>brown hair
>pale-ish skin
>brown eyes
>spend most of my time listening to music, going to concerts, reading and writing
>amateur foodie/chef
>have discord, Steam and goodreads accounts
>have a best friend who grew up being abused who's gonna be 49 this year, also unmarried
>seem to have trouble getting back into the dating world
>befriends incels out of a mutual dislike of modern women

>>24620011 (OP)
>spent most of my time watching anime and jacking off to hentai and JAV
Literally just turn off the subtitles, if you have enough of the basis to follow the gist your brain will start picking up the rest by context.

shit sucks OP
ive lost a ton of weight recently, picked up tennis, have been getting looks from cute girls, and im releasing an album in a week
oh also i'm 6 chapters into my novel
sucks to suck lil nigga

>>24622078
>classical languages
>Plato and the Presocratics, fall in love again

Do the Neo-Platonics. A great - not good - COMPLETE translation of the Enneads is lacking. Find a way to gloss and ride Ammon Hillman's/Karl Ruck's Orphic psychedelics theses for engagement farming.

>Catholic

Mary of Ágreda, Mystical City of God

>>24620011 (OP)
>Chromos, Felipe Alfau

Take one thing that isn't translated from Spanish and put it into Engrish and one year to do it. Make it perfect. Submit it. And learn to cook or stay fat and mad.

>>24620011 (OP)
I'm assuming that's a shitpost. If not, kill yourself

>>24620171
>>24620787
Read books with foids such as Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina, anything else with a realistic romance. You won't fear them after, because you'll realize they're just as boring as you if not more.

>>24622451
Thanks for the motivation. If I end up like you I might shoot myself. But I probably will.

>>24622966
All you make is actual disposable garbage though

>actually gifted kid
>could read basic words and small sentences at 2,5 years
>serious acting prodigy as a child, got into a good theater quite early
>became obese due to medical mistreatment
>become outcast
>enter vidya
>consumes all my attention
>le boomer single mom let me waste my entire youth in front of a screen
>become normal weight again but super autistic socially
>become obese during covid restrictions again
>virgin, at least not kissless though I guess
>career with a high failure probability due to mediocre life decisions, chance of ending up with nothing within the next 2 years
>poorfag, mom getting sicker by the day, probably gotta care for her in 7 or so years
>only real desire thats not delusional is still playing modded minecraft 8+ hours a day, no time for it though
>only started reading again in the last 2 years
Boox for this feel?

>>24623441
>>became obese due to medical mistreatment
trust the science they said

>>24623451
Hell yeah
Lets pump the 7 year old full to the brim with cortisone for 3 years due to imaginary asthma

>>24623441
>modded minecraft 8+ hours a day
Good lord. At least play some good video games.

>>24620011 (OP)
>25
>socially active
>friend group largely consists of sex pests and drunks
>have gf
>work in a pub
>hometown has slowly become a Londonistan suburb
>overall happy but have bouts of anxiety and incredibly lazy for sports or exercise outside of long walks and some weight training
>average intelligence, but airheaded
>live with mum and sister

>>24623585
Happy with the pub job?

>>24623638
Eh, not really but I've only ever done hospitality work. I'm thinking of getting a warehouse wagie job where I can just do my workload without having to interact with people. Although I do enjoy pub work to an extent, as I love pub culture, although it's practically dead now.

>>24623740
it's dead ? i understood elsewhere in the world, but i imagined britain would be the final bastion to hold out.

>>24623743
About 3 pubs close a day iirc. Big corporations own most of the pubs, which takes away from the quiet, cosy local. Of course Britiain still has a lot of pubs, but a lot of them are gastro-pubs that operate as restaurants first and pubs second, because there's more profit in food; or are just extremely anal to the extent they police everything. You can still find some gems but overall it's pretty bleak.
Of course, the ruling class' attack on pubs is no coincidence, as pubs are the last institutions that act as an ethnically British enclave. Once the world becomes normal again pubs will see a resurgance.

>flunked highschool because I was too busy f5'ing /b/ threads
>resigned myself to an inevitable suicide at 18 because I was failing all my classes and wouldn't survive in the "real world"
>this framing of my life served the vital purpose of granting me permission to continue f5'ing /b/ threads
>after high school my dad gave me a job
>trooned out at 23
>would never have passed, I look like a caveman with probably 5+% 'thal genes, but I was too depressed and too deep in the twitter communist propaganda to care
>was only on hormones for ~3 months before my healthcare provider's building burned down
>have been pretty withdrawn from society ever since the coof, became full-time basement dweller
>Got my GED recently, now in my mid 30s
>Waking up and going to sleep at regular times, working out, eating healthy
>started reading again, which I hadn't done since high school
>enjoyed anna karenina and some non-fiction.
>read way of kings on a friend's recommendation, but it represents what lead to me losing interest in reading in the first place.
>Life still kinda shit, but the trajectory is positive
>Want to join the army because I hate how trivial my life has been, but I doubt they'll take somebody with my mental health record
>it'll take at least a year for me to get in good enough shape to consider it, anyways
>In the mean-time I'm going to start working towards getting a degree in nursing
>I feel very strongly that I want to save the world, but I'm not quite sure what that means, and I know that I will never amount to anything special
When I look at the arc of my life, I can see that I have many times been saved by the grace of God, but I cannot help but feel that He must be growing exasperated at this point.

>>24622078
I'm not very well read, so I don't think I can give good recommendations (Anna Karenina is good, but everybody already knows that), but I'm glad you seem to be doing well, anon. Your story made me happy.

>>24623409
Well to be fair, im way too self-absorbed to do that. You do you, though. I won't shed a tear.

>>24620011 (OP)
I’ll always kneel to a trvecel

>>24623904
Much appreciated anon, glad to see you're improoving as well. I haven't read Anna Karenina myself but I'll have to put it on the reading list. From what I know of the novel, I think you'd enjoy Pushkin's Eugene Onegin. What kind of nonfiction do you like to read?
>>24622975
I don't plan on reading the Neoplatonists until I have a firmer grounding in Aristotle's thought and the history of Platonism before Plotinus, but I am very curious to see how Aristotelianism impacted Plotinus and his ilk. I've had Mystical City of God on my shelf for years, but was more interested in Faustina Kowalska when I practiced. It definitely would be interesting to look more into the philosophy of the mystics.

>>24620011 (OP)
>22
>dropped out of hs due to coof
>extreme dissociation and awful memory, idrgaf about anything anymore
>no pleasure from video games so stopped playing them
>no pleasure from shitposting and memes
>scrolling is boring I’ve seen all the redpills, blackpills and literally me shit
>no pleasure from masturbating, still do it occasionally to get to bed
>khhv, no friends, hate being around people, hate being alone. probably a fakecel. lots of people have said i’m hot, two e-girls masturbated to my face, below average height and autistic though. Never tried to get a gf, never will
>just work, watch youtube, movies and tv shows and anime sometimes, nightwalk (hate the sun so I stay inside during the day), listen to music, write
>read, have a good attention span but 99% of books are boring so I just study languages

>>24624069
>What kind of nonfiction do you like to read?
A little self-help, math textbooks, some world history, and recently IR/Geopolitics. Also looking to get into actually reading philosophy rather than just absorbing it through cultural osmosis. I'll probably start with Nietzsche, because the more I learn about him, the more I begin to think I may have stolen all of my ideas about life and meaning from him.

I'll check out Eugene Onegin. It sounds like something I'd enjoy tbdesu.

>>24620171
Nobody knows anything. We are just bullshitting through life. Some people are just better at bullshiting.

>>24624307
What's your top three IR books? Been going through it piecemeal myself starting with Kenneth Waltz. Reading Walter Russell Mead now, and eventually going towards William Appleman Williams and John Lewis Gaddis but that treads more on diplomatic history than anything else.

>>24625400
I should probably be taking recommendations from you, rather than the other way around. I've only just dipped my toe in, I've read through most of Prisoners of Geography so far, and I was planning on reading something by Kissinger next. After looking up the authors you mention, I'll probably prioritize reading some Waltz, though. Realist analyses are the counterpoint I need to the idealist liberal upbringing I had, and it sounds like that's what Waltz is offering.

I better get an actual book rec here for my blogposting
>25
>moved to japan to do a phd in plasma physics
>no gf since high school but I dont really have a problem with having female friends
>no success in the dating scene here because jap qts dont really dig filipinos
>have irl and online friends
>been on 4chan since 2011 for pokemon leaks on /vp/
>moved to /a/ and now just chill on /vg/ for gacha game generals
>chronic masturbation problems
>used to read a ton in middle school and elementary but since hs/college have been doing it a lot less
>last two books I read were Why Nations Fail and The Unconsoled
>parents are suffocating (I'm the eldest son) and even when I moved out of the country they still expect daily messages and want to know every single thing about my day to day life
>try to read about Christianity (grew up Catholic) but as much as I can logically appreciate the rhetoric my heart isnt moved
>attention span is shot, have to seriously concentrate while reading and if I'm watching a movie at home (not at the theatre) I need a drink to keep paying attention all the way through
>>24624111
Unironically brando sando just to ease you back into the reading fix

>>24626810
Dungeon Crawler Carl

>>24626758
(same anon), Alexander Wendt is good for constructivist theory although his stuff kind of filters me. not too keep on Marxist IR but I guess Immanuel Wallenstein approaches that with World Systems Theory.

>>24625400
(same anon) oh another thing, check out "A Wealth Of A Nation" by C. Donald Johnson, and "Clashing Over Commerce" by Douglas A. Irwin for tariff studies, although its America-centric. those other books I mentioned earlier are "The Tragedy Of American Diplomacy" by William Appleman Williams and "Strategies Of Containment" by John Lewis Gaddis to get the two different sides of diplomatic history, one anti-Imperalist, the other pro-Imperialist. the Walter Russell Mead book "Special Providence" leans towards the latter. however most of these books are America-centric so I dunno where you live and if they're applicable there.