/lit/ humor thread

>>24620402 (OP)
are the tragedians included or just the epics

Oh boy! Its been awhile since I haven't laughed!

>>24620419

Does anyone have that ms paint drawing of guenon holding a wand as he stares at someone saying something like "why is that guy looking at me like that"?

This would post go absolutely insane if you put the game's narrator to read this

>>24620569
rants containing such magnitude of human anger are, in my view, the strongest form of literature

>>24620596
Incels will say that he is a simp and a cuck, but they can't refute him.

1/2

>>24620719
2/2
oops posted in wrong order, whatever

>>24620419
theres my post right there!

I have two /lit/ humor examples and need more

>>24621838
This isn't really humor but it's from /lit/

>>24620688
very good

>>24620449
Doubles as an SQL injection joke

>>24620402 (OP)
>you have no idea how full and intense it feels to live like this without doing much at all. ohhhh christ save me, and then you jerk off on disgusting anime girls, sometimes you're trying to pray and you feel lust so you're like oh no please stop the sinful thoughts, but then you're like, I can't keep praying while I feel horny, so I'll jerk off, and then you write the filthiest smut and jerk off to it, and say wicked shit on 4chan while you're at it, calling people niggers and telling them to kill themselves, then you clutch your cross and go ohhhh I am such a sinner and you whip yourself, I'm a stupid pig, ohh I'm such a filthy pig, and then you see someone asking for charity and go euughh fuck off nigger but then you're like oh ohhhh the world is so corrupt and hateful, and I'm the most hateful swine, shameful and unclean, SAVE ME LORD, and you whip yourself again, but it's sort of a turn-on, then you drink and shitpost, and then you despise yourself because you are a slave to vice, ohhh christ have mercy while I have another glass.
You know how Gollum has constant conversations with Smeagol? It's like that, you never get bored. Truly a high IQ way to live.

>>24620407
Yes, you should definitely read the tragedies regardless of whether they are “included” in some internet meme. Each one is a masterpiece, from Oedipus all the way down to the terse satyr play Cyclops from Euripides.

>>24621838
My cum is hot... am I going to hell?

>>24620626
Spoken like a true simp and a cuck. Your oneitis won't remember you after a year, but she'll remember ex-boyfriends at least in passing. Deal with it.
He said, half to the anonymous internet user, and half to himself.

>>24620720
>>24620719
Kek, this is EXTREMELY based.
Any more examples of butthurt authors venting in their books? (Not political shit, petty stuff like this)

>>24620710
If the brontes were alive in CURRENTYEAR they'd be writing stories about women getting kidnapped and gangbanged by 7'3" fairies who are evil but for whatever reason worship the protagonist

>>24622782
...what?

>>24622774
The writer Mario Vargas Llosa went to the house of Jorge Luis Borges, and after the meeting he said in an interview that there was a leaking in the ceiling bothering him. Borges heard about that and in a later interview when asked about his reunion with Vargas Llosa, Borges replied: "A peruvian man came one time, I believe he was a real state agent or something like that".

This board has too high a percentage of faggots, libtards, and trannies to be funny. Left can't meme.

>>24622799
>faggots, trannies
I should think those would increase the board’s rightward slant

>>24622792
Romantasy

>>24620420
Like every Evola thread that one was horribly disappointing. I feel like people make them as part of a weird self hatred thing or wanting others throw mud at him

>>24622719
I like to believe you had this from memory and not a notepad. I think about it constantly

>>24620712
Bros... Is this real?

>>24620687
Was that really what he was like irl?
desu that comic is 90% /r9k/

>>24622812
That's because you have autism.

>>24621838
Kek. I remember that thread

>>24622889
>That's because you have autism.
You don't?

>>24622896
He does and he's retarded

>>24622896
You're boring.

>>24621834
That‘s [my Schiller post that nobody answered] on the bottom

>>24622897
/lit/ is too self-important to be funny.

>>24622900
What a based man

>>24622901
Fair point. But largely no one really reads anymore so we get the same tireless threads constantly.

>>24622898
>You're boring.
yes, and?

>>24622905
>no one reads
Self-important statement.

>>24622911
Hardly

>>24622910
This isn't improve. Just write "and" next time.

>>24622799
go back

>>24622912
Sorry but it was checked.
>>24622914
No you.

>>24622917
Fuck! I kneel

>>24622918
Gross.

>>24622917
you must be over 18 to post here. the teens over at the shart are always looking for new members though

>>24622932
You'd know.

>>24622922
Kek

>>24622937
yeah i do. i spend too many painful weeks among these creatures during the great outage. where were you when the chicken hit the jockey?

>>24622947
Sorry, I don't play World of Warcraft.

>>24622949
i know

>>24622953
Neat.

>>24622953
>>24622956
Odd creatures

>>24622953
>>24622956
>>24622972
all me btw

>>24622976
Based.

>>24622774
D.H. Lawrence had some laundered melties.

>>24622976
>>24623031

still me btw

>>24623066
Still based.

>>24622880
Read the entire Witcher 3 years ago, so my memory might be fading, but pretty sure wouldn't have forgotten 22 rape scenes. Unless they were very mild like
>mlady wouldst thou like the cock of mine
>> no thank you
>toodaloo

>>24623099
whoever made the hideous original post has stretched the meaning of the word rape so wide as to lose all of its meaning. no doubt they open a rape case everytime a mosquito penetrates their skin and scratches out her uncle's eyes everytime he tries to hug her goodbye. my heart bleeds for bonafide victims of violent rape but woman like this grind out the word by meaningless use so that it means nothing at all.

>>24620402 (OP)
>MFW Greeks

>>24622880
>>24623099
>>24623107
Here’s another post from the same person

>>24623115
this bitch is based. i got out-shitposted.

>>24622887
iirc the original comic was made in response to an /ic/ anon's incessant complaining about not being able to draw
the edit is in reference to one of Kafka's diary entries wherein he describes his excruciatingly awkward experience of attempting to eat a peach in a public space

>>24620626
>Cuck
There's no need

>>24623109
why the long face

>>24621838
At least it's not some stupid copypasta.

>>24620569
sounds like a faggot

>>24620693
I don't read desert-squiggles

>>24622823
That's not really what the Brontes wrote. The most fantastical element that I can recall any sister writing was a child dreaming a bright light and two adults having a dream in which each called out the other's name.

>>24620712
Schizoid gibberish from someone who has never personally read The Witcher (e.g. that text about sex at the beginning of the chapter of the first book means he confuses The Witcher with the Hussite Trilogy) and has no clue about Poland (of course rape is illegal in Poland).

>>24622947
>his first instinct during the outage was to go to sharty
You belong there.

>>24623372
is the unedited version around?

>>24623479
but that post isn't about what the Bronte's wrote, it's about what they'd write if they were alive today

>>24623566
hey dumbfuck ever heard of some book called the art of war? you might want to read it

>>24623040
Elaborate.

>>24623090
It's not an untrue statement.

Dumping my old /lit/ folder to expiate my phoneposting sins.

Taking a break, will continue dump shortly.

>>24623698
don't, that rapshit is dogshit cracker cringe.

>>24623700
Some guys like dogshit cracker cringe rapshit.

>>24623767
lfmao

>>24623810
Immortal classic.

>>24622774
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filippo_Argenti

>>24623683
does that position have a name?

>>24623841
I always found this very funny and I thought it was a /lit/ shitpost but it's actulaly from American Psycho

>>24623434
I don't get this, is the npc a phony reader?

>>24623674
>started with the Greeks during covid
>now work out every day and eat a mostly Mediterranean diet
Fuck, the indoctrination worked

>>24623845
this would be funnier if it was a more accurate map of europe spun 90 degrees. wheres spain?

>>24623577
I've seen it, it's just the usual stuff like 1984, To Kill A Mockingbird, Slaughterhouse-Five
aka "this one school in the middle of nowhere, Wyoming, banned it from their school library this one time in 1952 (the decision was overturned a month later)"

>>24623849
Damn, so did I.

>>24623109
This is why he sucks. I don‘t care that you filled hell with heroes and heaven with faggots and jews and women.

Love this one so much.

>>24624036
>baby born black (not shocking)

>>24623980
I hear ChatGPT 5 is better at creative writing (I read a short story from it and it wasn’t awful)
so I tried to see what it comes up with now
because my disappointment is low enough to be measurable my day isn’t ruined

>>24623834
Trolley non-interventionism.

>all the good posts are from 2011-17
grim

>>24620688

>>24624203
does a guy get hit in the head with a basketball in it tho? like what's up with the cover?

>>24624074
surprisingly better if I use thinking mode:

>>24623456
Your /pol/tard arrogance and short-sightedness has barred you from rejoicing in one of our most triumphant and joyful images.

>>24624226
That is actually much, much worse.

>>24624151
Here's one from 2018.

I remember back then everyone thought it was very bad compared to 2006-11. I'm sure there are still great posts being made all the time, but maybe they're not being saved as meticulously. Can't remember the last time I saw anyone screencapping a thread.

>>24624245
maybe I just hate self-referential (“I’m an AI”) humor — if you don’t, then it’s actually not bad
I did some more gacha pulls for both 5 and 5 Thinking and the first one was by far the worst
not sure (if there’s a reason) why

>>24622774
Michael Crichton is the canonical example.

>>24624362
this past week I saw a HN comment or tweet or whatever about this one classics professor who was vacationing in Greece
he went down and asked for a cab
the cab arrived, but later on he was told that what came out was closer to “fetch me a chariot, slave” than anything else

>>24622922
This will never be topped

>>24624394
I have this with Russian, but with added ridiculousness of awful grammar and patchy general vocabulary.
Because I learned it to sing and read poetry and because my native language is phonetically similar, I have very good pronounciation and know a few very fancy words, but that's it. I can earn people's trust at first, but they realize in short order that they are speaking to a retard.

>>24624394
>try to speak to a Greek taxi driver in his native tongue
>accidentally recite part of The Iliad in Homeric Greek to him

>>24623879
>wheres spain?
Arabian Nights

Achilles, Hector, Nestor, Little Ajax, Odysseus, Telemachus, Helen, Menelaus.

Goku, Vegeta, Roshi, Krillin, Gohan, Bulma, Tien.

this thread wasn't very funny

>>24624728
speaking ancient greek to modern greeks doesn't work
believe me I've tried
same goes for speaking latin to italians

>>24624988
>same goes for speaking latin to italians
Luke Ranieri did this in a video in Rome. He was largely understood but people thought he was an asshole for pretending to not know either English or Italian and inflicting himself upon them.

>>24624988
>>24624995
Being a shitcunt *always* works, I should know, I'm Australian.

If you Silo you Si-know...

>>24624937
Post some more funny stuff.

>>24625010
the problem is the thread is all screenshots of posts and greentexts, back in the ol' day /lit/ humor threads actually had some high effort memes in them

>>24625020
This is neither funny nor high effort.

>>24621840
What a loser

>>24623372
I did found mein kampf pretty entertaining

>>24623680
The last one is actually funny

>>24624203
crap I had forgotten about facebook... some people really did post stuff like this

>>24620522
unexpected kek

>>24624762
>Arabian Nights
>Spain

>>24625180
They were invaded by the Moops.

>>24620719
>>24620720

>>24622719

>>24623827
I don't get it

>>24625183
And? They have nothing to do with the Arabian nights

>>24625249
He's going to fuck the lizard

>>24625279
>nothing to do with the Arabian nights
Bunch of the stories take place in Spain, but you thought it was in sand-nigger land because of the title. Who's the ignorant racist now?

>>24625183
Invaded and then some..

>>24625290
>Who's the racist now?
I'm a super racist
>Bunch of the stories take place in Spain.
And in the original story Aladdin is Chinese

>>24625301
>And in the original story Aladdin is Chinese
And he's going to fuck the lizard.

>>24623774
Who is this about?

>>24625303
This >>24623827 Lizard?

>>24625452
Pope did not say that.

>>24625452
flows like a song by Madness

>>24623683
He does have a point if it's the real world instead of a thought experiment, if he takes it on himself to mess with rail equipment he could be sued for killing the one guy by choosing to divert the track. The rail company is responsible and you can't know if messing with their stuff makes things worse.

>>24625305
nabokov

>>24622866
evolas just not an author most people are intellectually capable of getting, I know I struggle with some of the things he talks about and there are plenty of people dumber out there
plus when you look at his... particular set of beliefs there's a lot of people looking to do character assassinations of him from liberals, many religious people, to even some fascists themselves due to disputes over some of the more esoteric and mystical concepts he's discussed

>>24620522

>>24623685
Freud's part is good.

>>24620687
>peach saying "peach, peach"
my sides: vamoosed

>>24623780
>entered her like a lottery

Fucking lost it.

>>24623954
Is this a play on the Screwtape letters?

>>24624762
That’s France on the map dude.

>>24625161
Lol some protty made a catholic so butt blasted that they made this meme. they're a sensitive bunch.

>>24626483
no, it's based on Joe's Letters

>>24620569
>be disco elysium
>good writing
>killer's motive: "I had a cryptid from space turn my communist agenda into one that could only yearn to see this (1) prostitute dead for no reason"
>your boss was in disguise as a janitor or something and you couldn't talk to them for the entire duration of the game

>>24625161
>the Pope thinks he is doing religious work by posting on a social media website where people post a Sasha Grey-wannabe's ass being eaten out regularly
the technological world makes the religious one look frankly embarrassing, all these systems ever were, were places to socially gimp other humans.

>>24621838
nice

>>24625516
What book is this?

>>24622799
this isn't /lit/ related, Americans can't read.

>>24627842
According to Google it's Assemblywoman, but I don't know which translation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assemblywomen

>>24625516
>>24627842
>>24627881
FIRST CRONE: Why aren’t the men here?
They should have arrived ages ago.
I’m all painted and tarted up,
humming and waiting in my party array,
all to snare some fellow on his way.
Come, holy Muse, put spice on my lips
for a juicy and loose Ionian lay.927

GIRL: So, you old spot of mildew,
you stole a march on me for once, did you?
You thought you’d strip a vineyard bare
when there was no one there
and lure some strapping stud your way
with the urgency of your song.
Just you try. I can outsing you any day
and prove you’re wrong.
The audience may think this boring
but perhaps it’ll get them laughing.

FIRST CRONE: [wagging her rear at GIRL] Up yours!
[turning to the GIRL PIPER] And you, my sweet little piper,
pick up your pipes and pipe some airs.

[FIRST CRONE breaks into sprightly song.]

FIRST CRONE: If anyone wants to have some fun,
It’s best to get into bed with me.
You won’t find savoir faire with a young
Girl as you would with a ripe old one,
Like me, who’s itching to be nice
To the boy she has and no one else.

GIRL: Don’t belittle the charm of girls.
Smooth and tender are their thighs
And there the softest glory lies,
While from their bosoms flowers rise.
But you’re a hag all pinched and furled:
A body that beds with Death and dies.

FIRST CRONE: I hope one day you come unstuck
When your pussy wants to fuck
And your couch falls through the flags—
Or when, one day, you want to shag
And feel the lovely inside ache
But find you’re shagging with a snake.

GIRL: What am I to do? I’m sad.
My young fellow hasn’t come
And all alone here I am.
For Mum’s gone
out. She’s not at home.
The next best thing that can be had
(Oh, Nanny dear, it’s not so bad):
Call Mr. Fixit928 in. He can
Put one at ease. Oh, Nanny, please!

FIRST CRONE: Too bad! Is there a hitch?
And does your twat acquire an itch
For the Ionian tool,929 but want as well
The real thing—as in L—
The thing that makes those Lesbians drool?930

GIRL: In any case, you’ll never grab
My boy’s balls or ever have
An opportunity to despoil
Me of my youth with your gall.

FIRST CRONE: You can sing your guts out
and peer through the dark
just like a cat but no red-blooded male
is going to get to you before he gets to me.

GIRL: No doubt at your funeral
when he comes to lay you out . . . I say,
I think that was rather smart.

FIRST CRONE: What a remark!

GIRL: Can anyone say something fresh to an old frump?

FIRST CRONE: It isn’t my age that’ll get you unstuck.

GIRL: What then? Your white lead and rouge?

FIRST CRONE: Why bother to enlarge?

GIRL: Why bother to peer and poke?

FIRST CRONE: Me? I’m just humming a ditty for my beloved Epigenes.


928 A dildo.
929 Also a dildo.
930 Meaning cunnilingus.

>>24627842
Michigan press (I don't have it next to me but I think that's what it is) complete words of Aristophanes (Paul Roche)

>>24620693
God I wish I could read desert squiggles.