Thread 24671101

For catharsis, divulge some secret shame.

For creativity, invent one.

Let other anons wonder which is true and which is false.

Everything will be forgive, and nothing will be remembered.

i was given the ivory tip of an african elephant's tusk from an upstairs neighbour. he was a knifemaker, long ago. i kept it on my bookshelf all throughout my teens. after my life disintegrated in 2017 i used to cover it with coconut oil and sit upon it while i jerked off. it didn't go that deep. i only did this a couple times. maybe four times. a beautiful girl came to my room one day and her eyes fell upon it. ivory is illegal, she said. i felt that even in the mundane we were transgressing some invisible boundary. she had eyes like pools of pitch oil, they were always a little red. i felt i owed her something for her grace. i gave her the ivory tip that had been up my bum. i had only ever washed it with warm water. it fills me with shame, that memory. perhaps she has put it beneath her nose, and inhaled. and wondered why.

>>24671115
well what can i say, it's a beautiful story

I was working at a little farm. One day I decided to run away. I had lost my phone behind a couch, so I decided to steal the owner's phone. So that I could browse the internet. I ran away to the one and only hotel in the nearby village. I payed for a cheap room but snuck into one of the mainline suites. I spent a night in fever and while soaking in the bath I suddenly realised that I had committed a crime. I endeavoured to sneak back into the farm and return the phone. I was going to jump out the hotel's window. I wasn't thinking right. While I was waiting for midnight, someone knocked on my door. It was the farm owner. I couldn't explain my actions so I pretended my best friend (I didn't have one) killed himself. I even manifested some convincing tears. I returned the phone, and all went back to normalcy. But the memory rots inside of me.

Bamp.

>>24671101 (OP)

can you make this into a contest?
unless you are a college socialist, all human activity relies on competition, we need more than inner catharsis, we need to know who is the best.

>>24671649
Why not. We will vote in 24 hours. But before then, you must make your confession.

I've knowingly had pinworms for the past 6 years. I've tried using medication to treat it, I keep getting reinfected because I'm too lazy and depressed to do the necessary deep cleaning every day for 2 weeks. I have another dose of medication on my shelf rn, but I feel too resigned to try again. I've never told anyone about this before, and it genuinely makes me want to kill myself. I've almost certainly transmitted them to sexual partners and exes, and feel a constant sense of shame that I'll probably never get over.

Not a confession, but I just wrote this and need somebody to see it, and I'm too embarrassed to show it to anybody I know.

>>24672499
I have had genital warts on my penis which eventually jumped to my butthole and gave me butt cancer. I have no insurance and no way to treat it so I am just waiting to die. If it gets too painful or inconvenient I will just KMS.

Dear --------,

I know you don't want to talk to me. Fine. I don't want to talk to you either. But I do want you to know how sorry I am. I am so fucking sorry. I know that no amount of apologizing will ever right the wrong that our relationship was --- I was supposed to be the older and wiser one, I was supposed to see that any love that might form between us was wrong and I should have put a pin in it right then and there. But I didn't. I folded to you, I said "let's explore and see where this goes" and I never should have done that. I am so ashamed of myself, and I will never, ever be able to look myself in the mirror and not see a guy who took advantage of someone so vulnerable. I am so so fucking sorry, and I know that no amount of apologizing will ever make it right.

Best,
----

(never sent)

>>24673255
Similar to me except I gave it to someone I loved long ago and now she has cancer. Some things are beyond self-forgiveness, aren't they. I feel I could justify murder easier than this.

I spend a huge amount of cash on BDSM sessions with professionals, usually involving breathplay, piss, and anal sex. I’ve been seeing my regular girl for nearly eight years.
My wife doesn’t know.
>>24671649
>reads Blood Meridian once

>>24671101 (OP)
I can't speak nor read foreign languages and only know a modicum of German otherwise. I used to be able to read Hebrew as a kid flawlessly and was obsessed with different tongues up to middle school but progressively lost interest and flatlined.

>>24671101 (OP)

Ask a cheater why they did it and you will find they cheat all the time. In every relationship they ever had. It’s not a matter of, “oh I just got drunk.” It’s not just a, “thing that happened” as you might blather and explain yourself later, ashamed at having hurt another and trying to stammer out the details of just how crazy it was you met someone at just the right, or wrong, moment for a million things to happen in a once in a million moment, that just happened. No, sinking into their body, when grabbing ahold of their hips and you turned into something else. Your body grew and expanded like a forest fire, the joints popped and your hair thickened, in that moment with the other, you were a giant, strolling across the land. And you said to yourself

“I deserve this, this is who I really am”

>>24674404
If thats really true im mighty lucky I never got gonorrhea, chlamydia or aids. Why are women so dirty?

>>24674404
There are the shaggers and there are the not-shaggers, and never the twain shall meet.
It’s the same with getting into fights. It’s always the same story, things just got out of hand, it all kicked off, next thing you knew, there was a fight. Funny how it keeps happening to the same guy

>>24674404
Ask an anon with a nice but prudish girlfriend what he did when a random classmate with size E tits texted him that she was drunk and wanted her mouth to be used like a train tunnel, anything.

>>24674460
That would never happen

>>24675548

Not that anon, but I went through something similar.

>be 20 y/o
>in a horrible relationship with ex
>big almost confirmed suspicion that she cheated on me
>can't rest
>simultaneously hot classmate with humongous ass starts hitting on me
>resist her temptation for about a month
>fold at her birthday party, she offers me to sleep over after the club
>at her house still fighting temptation
>she starts throwing ass on me
>grab a hold of her, she's soaking wet
>crazy hot foreplay, never seen a cunt wetter to this day
>about to insert inside her when "anon, we can't do this you have a girlfriend"
>can't believe wtf I just heard after all that? But I guess no means no?
>She instructs me the whereabouts of her purple dildo tells me to fuck her with it
>Do just that while jerking with left hand
>Cum all over her ass
>week after she starts blackmailing me to tell my girlfriend

That's how I entered one of the most stressful epochs of my life so far. And the fallout was horrible. So yes, these things do happen, but only if you let your mind and body be corrupted by profane bullshit. So in short, I believe that guy.

P.S. this is not my confession yet, everybody in my life already knows this.

>>24674342
If it's any consolation, I never blamed the person who gave me the virus. It would be like getting bit by a shark while swimming in the ocean or surfing. Would you blame the shark? No, the shark does what it does and you knew the risks of jumping into the water.

>>24675585
>blackmailing
as in you gave her money? how much?

>>24675615
I never gave her money. She tried to coerce me to tell my girlfriend. Presumably because she wanted to be in a relationship with me herself. I never complied, I just lied to her about it.

>>24675585
I am that anon, absolutely true story, be a fun person to be around and women will absolutely get lonely and drunk and think you are fun in bed and text you late at night.

>>24675653
i get it

>>24675745
I told my GF that I was going to visit a friend and for one glorious night I got sucked off like I was a Golden God Pharaoh overseeing the building of the Pyramids. I never caught anything, nobody ever found out, and i never felt bad about it. Am I a good person?

>>24675776
No

I used to give religious advice and write about religion/philosophy on Substack. But I am unable to handle the question of theodicy, to the point I deleted everything I wrote. I cannot reconcile a loving God with the world I see.

Recently I listened to my horny intrusive thoughts and peed myself while masturbating, then listened to further thoughts and tasted it. It was a little bitter but strangely a little like lemonade or tea, almost pleasant. When I'm not horny I feel nothing about this behavior but when horny I get tempted to do it again.

>>24675776
what they don't know isn't going to hurt them

>>24676262
congratulations on reaching a higher level of intellectual maturity. and also condolences

in my teens I bought some street quaaludes from beneath the bait store balcony. we just found someone who looked like they did drugs and asked for pills. we didn't know how many pills they were, back then. he brought them to us wrapped in toilet paper. they cost no more than a magnum icecream, and they were the size of coat-buttons. we walked to the island and found the one-and-only bar that served us and took a pill and half-way through my gin-and-tonic my memory disappeared. i woke up in bed. i felt alright. my mother drove me to gym. she asked me, "do you remember what you said to me last night?" i didn't, but i also did. i think i'd confused hentai with family and asked her to stop having sex with our horse. i swallowed a few times to clear my mind, then i changed the subject.

>>24672499
Are YOU the tranny that an anon said he got shit and pinworms all over his cock from?

If I confess, I will get perma'd. So I'll just read other anons confe

>>24676703
pedo

>>24675585
>we can't fuck, that's cheating
>but you can simulate fucking me with a dildo
soaking tier ngl