Thread 24787922

dunk and egg walking in the woods edition

ASOIAF wiki: https://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Main_Page
Blog: https://georgerrmartin.com/notablog/
Old blog: https://grrm.livejournal.com/
So Spake Martin (interviews): https://westeros.org/citadel/ssm/
Book search: https://asearchoficeandfire.com/
SSM search: https://cse.google.com/cse?cx=006888510641072775866:vm4n1jrzsdy
General search: http://searcherr.work/
TWOW samples: https://archive.org/details/411440566-the-winds-of-winter-released-chapters

old: >>24768472

I bet Asha's pussy stinks so good

When Winds gets published, Rickon will be a feral child who humps Osha's legs because he's been fucking in Shaggydog's body while warging unsupervised. He'll also be a cannibal because Shaggydog has been eating human flesh, and then he will ride Cannibal when he and Davos find the Cannibal still alive on Skaagos.

Are you ready for Dunk and Egg, anon?

>>24787922 (OP)
why does this hack have a general

>>24787968
>feral child who humps Osha's legs
god I wish that were me

>>24788083
Stannis WILL win.

Well he didn't announce it at NYCC. He’s showing his age, so I'm guess winds and spring will be one megabook and will be out in autumn 2027. If not, then it isn't coming out

Thread... 92?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjDG-b1-cXM

>>24787983
After house of the dragon I’m hoping dunk & egg cleans the taste of shit from my mouth

calling it now
>dunk gets the shit kicked out of him by aerion
>tanselle intervenes and beats up aerion with her girlboss power
>starts lecturing dunk on how chauvinistic and misogynist it was of him to assume she needed to be saved from a man when she was perfectly capable of handling it herself
>says something about how men are violent and if it weren't for them the world would be fair and just and peaceful

>>24788240
>tanselle takes down 7 men with a frying pan
>”where did you learn to do that?”
>”I grew up with brothers”

DUDE

Jeyne Poole = Gene Pool

LMAO

>>24788278
why is he so fucking weird looking
preston could've at least picked a cute shota to fixate on.

>The show ending was my ending, I’m not going to finish shit, and nobody has permission to ever finish it.
How would the world react?

>>24788335
The show ending makes sense in the context of the books. At least Dany going insane does. It won't be
>"OMG BELLS AAAAIIIIIEEEE I'M GOING INSAAAANE"
instead it will be
>someone has been using a glass candle to drive Dany insane by sending her weird dreams and visions, and it has been foreshadowed since book 1

>>24788390
I believe Aegon will have something to to with her going insane, possibly after a very costly journey to westeros for her.

>>24788390
>dany going mad requires some secret insidious magical plot
Nigga she was mad since day one

>>24788335
He's just not going to say anything definite, ever, because he's grown to despise his fans as a surrogate reaction to being unable to finish the books himself.
>Reminder that if he wrote ONE page a WEEK since dance, we'd already have winds.

>>24788390
>>24788404
People are mixing it all up. The retard show runners loved to mix up plots from different characters because they cut some of them out. Fa(k)egon will probably go nuts after finding out he's fake and gay. Or Jon Con might also go insane, since he hasn't been looking after Rhaegar's actual child.

At this point I have more respect for Sanderson than GRRM. Guy writes books, teaches classes, does podcasts and even does the convention circuit. GRRM is just a lazy sack of shit

>>24788390
Mad Dany was GRRMs original intention and you can see him try to pivot her back in that direction when she’s in the Dothraki sea and realizes she has to embrace fire and blood. In the Original Draft of AGoT she kills Drogo herself and wants to obtain her birthright by any means think in humanizing her he was kinda stuck because Dany legit has no reason to go to Westeros.

>>24788461
Cope Dany fag, like who gives a fuck if some fake or some fag blows up KL? It has to be.

>>24788461
Thank you anon. People seems to have forgotten that characters had their plot lines cut and pasted to another characters. Dany won't go mad from bells, the one that has a bad reaction to bells is jon con from that time in roberts rebellion, who may go mad independant of that sound himself learning (f)aegon is fake. Maybe both happen at the same time and the suyper PTSD reaction he has convinces him to spread greyscale around kings landing leading to Dany burning out the infection via dragon fire. Who the fuck knows theres a lot of ways it could go

>>24788501
Gurm is just old as fuck. Most people don't know this but he has undiscloses health problems that prevent him from actually working, he hasn't contributed anything to any project in the last ten years except his stamp of approval.

>>24788509
>>24788461
It’s sad to see you cope like this

>>24788583
>he hasn't contributed anything to any project in the last ten years except his stamp of approval.
I'm sure he does but it doesn't stop him working he contributed in the writing room for HotD and im sure did some for dunk and egg too

>>24788593
>contributed in the writing room
AKA he sat there and murmured some comments about incest and feasts. Sorry, I'm not trying to insult you.

>>24788583
If you can travel the world and go to 50 conventions and vacations a year you can sit down at a computer and type some shit every once and a while

There shall be no more writing ever. He's too depressed.

>>24788461
>Fa(k)egon will probably go nuts after finding out he's fake
You could be right but I think Aegon will take King's Landing, get support from enough big houses (friends in the reach) and will either find out or already have figured out that he is fake but keep the show going. Dany will suffer so many losses during her Westeros campaign that when she finds out Aegon has taken the throne and has love of the people it will be the final straw for her, something about her being made out to be a mad invader with dothraki rapists coming to burn the lands or something, someone big will defect from Dany and join Aegon and she will find out he is a fake Targ, not even a Blackfyre which will send her over the edge and go burn down King's Landing. I don't know how likely any of this is but until George says otherwise it's my headcanon.

>>24788642
His blog makes it seem like he's preparing to die.

WRITE THE FUCKING BOOK YOU FAT FUCK STOP GOING TO CONVENTIONS 6 DAYS A WEEK!!!!!!

>>24788683
>>24788642
Why the fuck is he doing.

>>24788509
>Thank you anon. People seems to have forgotten that characters had their plot lines cut and pasted to another characters.
They forget about a lot of things.
>Maybe both happen at the same time and the suyper PTSD reaction he has convinces him to spread greyscale around kings landing leading to Dany burning out the infection via dragon fire.

I never thought of that! Much better than the retarded "dany bad cray cray" bullshit that makes everyone's clittys so hard.

>>24788653
>>24788509
Aegon will in all likelihood get a dragon (probably Rhaegal, because it has his supposed father's name), which will prove to the realm that he's legit, even though Nettles proves that you don't have to be a Targaryen to ride dragons.
Dany and Aegon will have a dragon duel above King's Landing at some point, and Aegon will lose but survive heavily injured, at which point JonCon is inspired by the Battle of the Bells and hides Aegon among the KL smallfolk, who prefer him to Dany.
Seeing victory slip from her grasp and the love of the common people for Aegon will be what drives Dany over the edge, and she burns down the city.
It's probably for the best if neither Aegon nor the reader find out whether he's real or fake, because power resides where men believe it resides.

>>24788763
I like that theory

>>24788583
>Most people don't know this but he has undiscloses health problems that prevent him from actually working
Huh? Like what?

>>24788642
the loss of Gardner Dozois was the coup de gras that finally put genre fiction out of it's misery

>>24788799
Probably early stage alzheimers. That's why he's just transparently living life and partying all day, and thinking about the old days as long as his memory somewhat still works.

>>24788335
the world has already moved on. Maybe a collective shrug.

>>24788817
Fuck off anon, GRRM just had a panel at comic con for dunk and egg and is recalling names and places from decades ago without effort, talking about knighting people at fast food places. He doesn't have alzheimers let alone have it for 10 years stopping him from working

>>24788824
Agreed he's just fat.

>>24788817
>>24788824
more like punched-ticketzheimers

>>24788824
This. He's just intensely lazy.

>>24788824
>Dany and Daenerys

>>24788910
that could easily have been a typo, dude was seething when he wrote that blogpost

>>24788121
anon, it's not coming out.

>>24788120
He'll win the Battle of Ice, sure. But more misfortune will fall on him after that

>>24786702

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
-- Arthur C Clarke --

>>24789372
>olive skin

>>24788501
Sanderson's "prose" is like reading a textbook, and his dialogue is peak millennial.

>>24789736
At least he writes

>>24789751
Anon please, George writes all the time!
for Wild Cards!

>>24789751
I wish he didn't. He's the ultimate reddit author. Anyone who writes Marvel-tier dialogue is a hack who should never write another word.

>>24789774
George has probably written dozens of volumes of completely irrelevant lore for asoiaf because he felt like it, he just can't bring himself to finish the main series, either because he's bored with it or he can't for the life of him resolve it0yvpd

>>24787922 (OP)
Walk with me, my sweet summer child, and hear the tale of fat pink masts jutting into sopping wet myrish swamps and black nipples brushing against silk until her cunt became the world while in the privy the princess guzzled arbor gold and shat but the more she drank the more she shat until she was shitting brown water and around her the planks of the ship groaned like a fat man taking a shit while she cursed the gods and nuncle smiled as he broke his fast on black bread, bacon burned black, and mulled wine while capon-grease dribbled down his chin and onto the boiled leather of his jerkin for she was wet with love and did she not know words are wind and dark wings bring dark words and a lannister always pays her debts and mayhaps this is nothing but a mummers farce and useless as nipples on a breastplate and the princess has been fucking lancel and moonboy for all nuncle knows and he is the blood of the dragon for the night is dark and full of terrors but where do whores go and jon snow knows nothing and near enough makes no matter so nuncle smiled and dipped the heel of his bread into clam chowder and prayed for half a hundred more heh har HODOR

>>24789804
>He still thinks Gurm writes or works at all
Oh my sweet summer child.

Others are a cool new fantasy race

A little girl lays in the covers of her bed. She is nervous. Her mother asks what's wrong? The girl mutters, "There's a monster in my closet." They look over. Cut to the closet with Sneed Altman standing inside it, smiling and softly saying, "Sneed....sneed...sneed."

>>24788501
S*n detain can’t write and is a m*rmon. Not even comparable.

>>24788763
>Nettles proves that you don't have to be a Targaryen to ride dragons.

Except she's Daemon's bastard daughter.

>comic con
>nothing

>>24789486
Problem, chud?

>>24790927
daemons arc is a Nazi redeeming himself by abandoning his insane niece wife and rejecting his lifelong obsession with Valyrian supremacy to sacrifice himself for jungle pussy. Making it so he fucked a negress in his youth ruins that, there is no growth

>>24791126
Got a peer-reviewed source, chuddy?

>>24791126
Wakanda

>>24790623
But he writes anon, what have you or GRRM written lately? Nothing I bet.

>>24788642
F I N I S H

https://store.steampowered.com/app/2413950/Final_Sentence/

can't believe they made a videogame about how we're going to make George finish the books...

>>24791676
kek

We ARE going to watch the new show, right?

>>24792196
yes, we can do both that and cry about the Winds of Winter

>>24792196
>>24792200
It's the first story, isn't it? How many years until the best character/Dunc's future boyfriend/rightful king appears?

>>24792196
Yes because Dunk is literally me and Egg was very adorable in the trailer.

>>24792435
if they go at HoTD pace, 1000 years.

>>24791060
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uqyFdpQWjgw

best you're getting im afraid

Alright, which of you fucks threw a bad dragon dildo at George today at ny comic con?

>only 3 Dunc/John the Fiddler fics on ao3
>two of them are poonershit
>one is in Russian
Russian one was cute though

>>24792196
I still haven't watched HotD season 2. Is it any good, or should I just read Fire & Blood instead? Definitely watching A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, it seems comfy.

>>24792656
It’s the worst season of television I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s not even so bad it’s good, it’s just pure diarrhea and piss

>>24792506
>I SEE NOR HEAR NO EVIL
>BLACK WRITING ON THE WALL
>UNLEASH A MILLION FACES
>AND ONE BY ONE THEY FALL

why did CIA assigned Preston to creating ASOIAF theory videos?

>>24792721
bald

>a not insignificant part of the ASOIAF fandom was actually expecting George to make an announcement / update on Winds during Comic Con panel
How is this so much of this community still stuck on the “when will they learn phase”?
That man is never giving us Winds, ever. Much less doing his fans the decency of telling them how it’s going.

>>24787945
>Why is that?
Because he's a leftist and all leftists hate White people.

I refuse to watch House of the Dragon because of his anti-Whitism. Fuck him.

>overwhelming whiteness
>black capitalised but not White
>It was very important for Miguel and I to create a show that was not another bunch of white people on the screen.

Imagine consuming content created by people who hate you.
Ryan Condal hates White people, including (You).

Condal should be hung by his heels from rusty meat hooks and slowly skinned alive

>>24792909
Him and everyone who thinks like him

>>24792872
>>24792890
>>24792905
Asoiaf fags deserve Ryan Condal lmao.

>>24792872
>>24792890
>>24792905
>>24792909
>>24792914
Why do white guys love BBC?

>>24792914
>>24792909
I think so too

>>24792196
Not a chance, haven't watched anything past the fourth season of GoT

>>24789774
The Monkey's Paw George

>>24792855
>a not insignificant part of the ASOIAF fandom was actually expecting George to make an announcement / update on Winds during Comic Con panel
Those were probably the newer fans who haven't been waiting for TWOW for 10+years.

>>24792981
What's funny about that subreddit is that they will defend making white characters brown in fanart because it's the "artists interpretation" but if you make a brown character white it's removed for being "intended to be aggravating", it's indistinguishable from parody.

>>24794190
Redditors are faggots, more news at 11.

>>24788828
>>24788840
He needs Ozempic

>>24791117

Except she can control a dragon and the most logical answer to that, isn't that random literal whos can control dragons but that she has Valyrian blood and is probably Daemon's daughter (and both being Valyrians with magical DNA, there's no issue with him fucking his daughter).

>>24794638
You're in /grrm/, what other news are there?

Guys, I need to come clean. I've been posting in Gurm generals for around six months but I never even opened the books.

>>24795077
Audiobooks are your friend

>>24795077
Well you’re pretty behind. There are over 2000 characters and 300 noble houses in the series. I’ve spent the last 13 years memorizing them all. And you DO have to memorize them if you want to pick up on subtextual clues that the author leaves in his story. You have to memorize, for each house: their history, their allegiances, the strength of their forces, their lands and titles, etc.

Basically, you’ll need to start reading now if you want to be prepared by the time Winds of Winter comes out in 2030.

>>24795077
don't worry, redditors haven't read the either and they have like seven subreddits for ASOIAF

>>24795268
>seven subreddits
SEVEN LIKE THE SEVEN (9) KINGDOMS?!?!?

>>24795286
Like the seven (5) books of the series!

will alys kastark son or daughter take the kastark name?

Does the Reach really have the most beautiful women in all Westeros like Yandel says?

>>24795390
They'll found a new house, House Trainstark

What causes this level of normie cringe

>>>/tv/215178384

What do you think will happen to the Volantene fleet?

>>24795917
Smashed, burned, overthrown.
Volantis is a powder keg and the black walls will fall.

>>24788390
Quaithe = Euron confirmed

>>24796086
GRRM doesn't seem to understand that 99% of his fans don't give a shit about his other "kids."

In general, why did everyone hate Stannis so much?

>>24795841
He’s right tho

>>24796223
Stannis is an annoying and bald dipshit, and he's a religious fundamentalist for an insane gnostic fire-cult.

>>24796223
Henry Cavill as Young Robert is something I'd pay to see.

>>24796247
>annoying
Only to faggots like you
>bald
Only because of the stress of dealing with faggots like you
>religious fundamentalist for an insane gnostic fire-cult
He doesn't actually believe that shit, he just uses it for power because faggots like you are trying to stop him from doing his duty to the realm.

>>24796339
>He doesn't actually believe that shit
Are you a fucking showlette? He's very devoted to R'hllor

half the arena was gone by the time santana held up the belt KEK

>>24795093
>Audiobooks
>gravely voice 90 year old man voice actor
>reading 8 year old Arya's lines

How can anybody listen to that shit? Why don't audio books hire several voice actors for the various characters?

>>24796359
>He's very devoted to R'hllor

No he's not, he realizes it works so he does what's needed to keep it working but he hasn't bought into it.

>>24796425
>Yes he's killed people for the faith, invited their clergy into his council, converted his family, plans on renovating major temples to worship r'hllor instead, and is using it to justify his claim to prophecy
>BUT HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ANY OF IT!
Even the absolute most cynical reading only makes sense if he's some kind of Constantine figure. The Lord of Light doesn't have much power, it's a rando ass cult. There's barely any leverage with them. It's like trying to take over China using Falun Gong practitioners.

>>24796230
Nah

>>24796359
You obviously weren't paying attention when you read the books.
Stannis is an atheist who stopped believing in gods after he watched his parents die. He literally tells Davos this.
>He moved to the south window to gaze out at the moonlit sea. "I stopped believing in gods the day I saw the Windproud break up across the bay. Any gods so monstrous as to drown my mother and father would never have my worship, I vowed. In King's Landing, the High Septon would prattle at me of how all justice and goodness flowed from the Seven, but all I ever saw of either was made by men."
>"If you do not believe in gods—"
>"—why trouble with this new one?" Stannis broke in. "I have asked myself as well. I know little and care less of gods, but the red priestess has power."
And he then explains, in the same chapter, his reasoning for going along with Melisandre. It's because she has power.
>"I trusted in his wisdom and your wiles, and what did they avail me, smuggler? The storm lords sent you packing. I went to them a beggar and they laughed at me. Well, there will be no more begging, and no more laughing either. The Iron Throne is mine by rights, but how am I to take it? There are four kings in the realm, and three of them have more men and more gold than I do. I have ships . . . and I have her. The red woman. Half my knights are afraid even to say her name, did you know? If she can do nothing else, a sorceress who can inspire such dread in grown men is not to be despised. A frightened man is a beaten man. And perhaps she can do more. I mean to find out.
>"When I was a lad I found an injured goshawk and nursed her back to health. Proudwing, I named her. She would perch on my shoulder and flutter from room to room after me and take food from my hand, but she would not soar. Time and again I would take her hawking, but she never flew higher than the treetops. Robert called her Weakwing. He owned a gyrfalcon named Thunderclap who never missed her strike. One day our great-uncle Ser Harbert told me to try a different bird. I was making a fool of myself with Proudwing, he said, and he was right." Stannis Baratheon turned away from the window, and the ghosts who moved upon the southern sea. "The Seven have never brought me so much as a sparrow. It is time I tried another hawk, Davos. A red hawk."

>>24796491

In the midst of a murderous blizzard when Stannis' men are calling for a sacrifice, he just tells them to pray harder.

Stannis lost all faith in religion when he watched his parents die but he has seen that Melisandre has power that can aid him, so he goes along with it but personally doesn't believe in it.

This attitude of his is repeated again and again.

>>24788772
That's literally me in the Sky King threads

>>24796623
i dont understand how you can acknowledge that this faith has actual power that affects the real physical world around it and that burning hoes on a stake makes rhllor happy and still somehow not actually believe in it.
The bitch sent a shadow demon to kill his younger brother what do you mean you "dont believe in it" its absolutely ridiculous

>>24794936
>- Non-targ can ride a dragon as proven by Nettles.
>- No, Nettles is not an argument for non-targs riding dragons.
>- How come?
>- Because she's a targ.
>- How come?
>- Because she can ride a dragon.
>- How come?
>- Because she's a targ.

>>24796938
Nettles is a targ, because nettles is Leaf, a child of the forest-targ hybrid who glamoured herself as Nettles and then old nan.

>>24789774
Don't forget Elden ring too.

>>24796421
Sovl....

All religion is by default untrue since faith does not require truth as a rule. At best it will contain grains of truth in the form of metaphors and description.

Therefore, R’hllor is not what he seems and red priests are all delusional. For all we know it’s some wizard abusing glass candles the way the green seers abuse their trees (le old gods).

>>24797246
Yeah magic in this world is basically all a stage. It’s realistic because all religion irl is this too. Religion is actually a precursor to science in observation-theory. Looking to nature and making a conclusion. Gods and such functioned as proxies in an age of ignorance. The essence of magic, that of mystery and wonder and ignorance, is still around in modern day times—it’s just approached differently, now. The modern day wizard is the mad scientist, poking at the unknown and reaping what they sow.

>>24797262
I love when retarded zoomers tout “magic is the unexplainable!” even when they themselves cannot explain how their cellphones work. They then retort with “but they (cellphones) follow the laws of physics!”, as though a wizard’s fire isn’t actually fire.

God is just a big alien. Too big.

As a boy, I hated Lannisters. As a grown man, I love Lannisters.

>>24797368
Stockholm syndrome.

>>24797383
That's when someone loves Targaryens.

>>24796417
DavidReadsASoIaF. You can find his videos in Internet Archive, his Brienne voice is weird, but everything else is excellent.

>>24797368
Fuck Lannisters, Luv Me Starks simple as.

>marries cousin
>is surprised when his son is a dyslexic and left-handed
>is surprised when his daughter is a pooner
>is surprised when his son is born a dwarf
Wow what a genius Tylose Lannister was

>>24796938
>- Because she's a targ.
>- How come?
>- Because she can ride a dragon.
>- How come?
>- Because she's a targ.

Yes, that is correct.

>>24796850
>faith has actual power

But that power still exists without Stannis having faith in it. He doesn't know how it works (and doesn't care) but it works, so he'll go along with it.

>>24797594
>marries cousin

You can't really blame him.

He is so fucking shameless. He acts like it is our fault for expecting him to finish his series. It has been 14 years since the last entry. He has been taking 14 years to write a thousand and a half page novel and we are the bad guys for pointing this shit out somehow.

>>24797706
You reap what you sow.

>>24797788
At this point, Im just waiting for him to die. The estate will feed us.

>>24796850
>i dont understand how you can acknowledge that this faith has actual power that affects the real physical world around it and that burning hoes on a stake makes rhllor happy and still somehow not actually believe in it
Actual, clinical autism.

He sees a zealous shadowbinder doing shadowy magic and inspiring tremendous fear and devotion in his people. That does not mean that he believes that the Fiery Christ is his God, Lord and Savior. Stannis and many others similarly know that Targaryens have unique magical blood, and Starks can warg - doesn't make any of them into Targ worshipers or Old Gods believers.

>>24796491
>The Lord of Light doesn't have much power, it's a rando ass cult
Of all the retainers he still has, they all consist of
>Rhllor kool-aid drinkers (aka Queen's Men)
>Davos
>Patchface
Without the Red God convert zealots among nobility, he'd have no army whatsoever, plain and simple. Absolutely nobody gives half a shit about muh legitimacy of Stannis' claim, he's supported exclusively by Rhllor worshipers who believe that he is the Fire Moshiah, madmen, and those personally loyal to him. And the whole crux of Davos' position is that people personally loyal to Stannis are in extremely short supply due to him being a uniquely unlikable cunt and Stannis knows this.

>>24797824
Davos says that even now at the Wall most of Stannis's troops aren't queen's men.
And despite being so unlikable Stannis was easily able to gather all the mountain clans to support him.

>>24797788
Many famous people grow to resent their fame. Gurm wants all the upsides with none of the downsides, which simply doesn't make sense.

George must have dementia. I really don't know what to think when he makes comments like he isn't almost 80 fucking years old

>>24797954
he is just in denial like most old farts.

>>24797594
>refuses to remarry and sire more heirs even after his only viable heir gets sent off to the kingsguard, leaving a dwarf as heir to Casterly Rock.
>At the same time he demands his widowed daughter to remarry and start having kids as soon as her husband dies and wants his dwarf son to inherit the largest province in the continent

Tywin being obsessed with getting Jaime out of the kingsguard instead of just finding another blonde chick to pump babies into makes NO FUCKING SENSE

>There's a rock
>It has a big castle on it
>It's called Casterly Rock
But why is the giant rock with a big ass castle on it called Casterly Rock?
>Reason, the original owners were named Casterly
The American Tolkien, everybody!

https://youtu.be/GwlBLWu_duE?si=iTZObCwHmyaUqyt1&t=408

may or may not be confirmation dany doesn't die

>>24797954
Like what? Did he post a blog?

>All religion is by default untrue since faith does not require truth as a rule. At best it will contain grains of truth in the form of metaphors and description.

I said something like this to my sister’s friend and she fucking lost it on me.

>>24797788
>>24797954
What happened now?

>>24797801
Thats why We Do Not Sow(TM)

>>24798273
If Tywin was smart he would have taken a saltwife, maybe he wouldn't be so fucking moody all the time if he got his noodle wet once in a while.

Why do women who read these books get obsessed with wolves and weirwoods and the children of the forest ?

They also go full green pilled and will say shit like “the Valyrians were scared of the wargs and the Doom was probably the hammer of the waters!”.

It’s really cringe.

>>24798281
>Why do women who read these books get obsessed with wolves
They fantasize about being fucked by wolves
>and weirwoods
They want to believe there is a supernatural force connecting all living life
>and the children of the forest
They want to frolic in the forest with who they imagine is small and non-threatening after having been fucked by wolves

>>24798281
>the doom of valyria was the hammer of the waters
tfw no retarded ASOIAF gf

Women are retarded

>>24798297
>too transgender to reply directly to the post
>calls real women retarded
Really makes you think.

>>24798281
Those women think the Old Gods are le peace and love hippy dippy furry nature religion when it’s just not. In fact it’s pretty evil.

>>24797583
Adulthood is realizing the Starks and Lannisters are the same, and the wildlings are the truly based ones

>>24798281
>the Valyrians were scared of the wargs and the Doom was probably the hammer of the waters
But the books and the world book point to it though…

>>24798352
No they don’t you retard.

>>24797954
I do think he has dementia, but I think it's on its early stages.
George, despite having a very funny sounding voice, was always quite articulate, in the last couple years in interviews you can tell his articulation of speech has started to deteriorate.

For both my grandparents, who both developted dementia, this was their first sign of having it.

>>24798281
dude there is a whole battle going on on twitter and Tiktok about which Targ twink is the best.

>>24798430
Jesus Christ women ruin everything
(Also it’s clearly Aemond)

>>24798002
Oneitis is a hell of a drug.

>>24798436
you are free to like Aemond, even tho he would 100% be into age regression.
I mean, we all make terrible choices every once in a while.

>>24798480
Daemons the one who fantasized about fucking his mom

>>24798506
and Aerion wanted to castrate and fuck his brother, leaving us only with the one and true answer...

>>24798529
Thats hot though

>>24792981
this guy is unironically so funny
redditors suddenly falling on their own swords when it's their favorite characters getting groided

>>24798430
women and children were a mistake (it's obviously Rhaegar)

>>24798911
>women and children were a mistake
Rhaegar is this you

>Uther Shett
>Utter Shit
Bravo George.

>have magic be mysterious and unknowable
>make zombie a viewpoint character

pick one

>>24792981
LMAO
Fuck me

>>24799035
?
What did anon mean by this ?

Space men from the moon colonized Westeros and got into an apocalyptic war with the children of the Forrest. Maiden made of light = the sun, Pearl palanquin = the moon, the “hundred wives” of the “god emperor” are space ships docked in the moons orbit and Lion of night = the second moon mentioned in the qaarthian myth
Azor ahai = ancient Astronomer and sorcerer who studies the stars and comets, member of the moon colony race/god on earth empire, moonsinger and church of starry wisdom member, could control comets with magic (Elden ring character azur the primeval sorcerer is an Easter egg hinting at this)
Forging of swords = different meteorological events
Hammer of the waters = tempering the sword in water. A comet was called down to stop men from overwhelming Westeros and invoking the children’s full wrath. A pact was reached for a while but was eventually broken when men created dragons by using the magic of the lion of night moon
Tempering the sword in a lion = the cracking of the lion of night by meteor to stop its dark magic. The shattered moon glowed sinisterly as it slowly came apart in the darkening sky, the debris blocked the sun and led to a generation long night but it was too late, the men already created many dragons and continued their onslaught in the darkness and so the children created the others as a last resort. Humans of planetos were faced with extinction and azor was given an ultimatum. Call down a meteor to destroy the moon colony for good or all human life will be destroyed. Azor made the ultimate sacrifice and called upon the red comet, which was a peice of debris from the lion of night to destroy the moon colony station, the seat of his forefathers and overlord of planetos
Lightbringer = the red comet (red sword)
Nissa nissa = the moon colony (Nissa is azors “wife” and the ships are referred to as the god emporers wives, and the death cry of nissa left a crack on the face of the moon) Eventually when the dawn began to return, the Daynes followed one of the crashing starships to starfall and used its metal to make dawn

>>24799120
No.

The forging of Lightbringer story is about Nissa Nissa's death in childbirth. Dany is going to die giving birth to Jon's child, the hidden heir, who will be kept a secret because Dany will be hated in Westeros, and raised at Winterfell as a Snow.

>>24799200
No.

>>24799153
T. Mad you didn’t think of it first. I’m a fucking genius

TIL Preston Jacobs cheered when that faggot the alt right tried to make into a martyr got shot in the neck at a gun rights rally. I still think his sci-fi theories are dumb and out of place and J*nsa is cringe, but I respect him a little now. You gotta be a red blooded man to appreciate comedic timing. Still won't read that cringe fanfic though.

>>24799035
thats why George is trapped, he hates writing the rules of magic, but he's goingto have too, or else we will learn so much about Asshai or what its like to die, and possibly be in the body of a wolf (because the only other reliable source is Beric who was always quickly revived)

>>24799289
The answer is Jon's going to lose his memories as part of resurrection. He will only remember things as Ghost. The tragedy: he'll be "I want my bride back" pilled but not actually remember Arya's face.
Already foreshadowed by Beric forgetting his past and his betrothed.

>and possibly be in the body of a wolf
Nigga how many scenes as Ghost, Nymeria and Summer have we ready already?

>>24799019
>Trebor Jordayne
>Robert Jordan
>of the Tor (Robert Jordan's publishing company)

bravo george

>>24798286
>They want to frolic in the forest with who they imagine is small and non-threatening after having been fucked by wolves

>>24799301
>Already foreshadowed by Beric forgetting his past and his betrothed.

Beric (and Catelyn) isn't foreshadowing Jon's resurrection, the Varamyr prolog sets it up.

Beric and Catelyn were dead-dead, their souls/spirts had gone to wherever they go, they were zombified computers running an ever degrading ROM with no Internet connection to get updates.

Jon's soul/spirt on the other hand, is safely ensconced in Ghost and when Melisandre accidentally resurrects him, it will safely return to his body.

>>24799273
preston sold low income brown american boys to afghan warlords to build alliances on the CIA's behalf

Why is asoiaf twitter so afraid of criticizing george for taking fourteen years to write one thousand or so Pages

>>24799418
because complaining won't actually do anything

>>24799418
they dont want to make him a le heckin sad fatfuckerino

2025 and he didnt announce it, im starting to lose faith bros

>>24799487
GRRM will never release any piece of writing related to ASOIAF ever again.

Why couldn't Cersei just shut up and love Jaime instead of being a bitch and a whore?

>>24797855
>Davos says that even now at the Wall most of Stannis's troops aren't queen's men.
Troops no, lords and knights - yes.

>And despite being so unlikable Stannis was easily able to gather all the mountain clans to support him.
They didn't join for the love of him, they joined for avenging the Starks and dying a glorious death murdering s*uthrons because winter is coming.

guys, i've got it
i know how to make gurm finish the books
we just need someone to get terminal cancer, then show up to a Q&A in a wheelchair looking half-dead from chemotherapy.
instead of asking him a question, just say this
>As for me, I am terminal. This will be my last year waiting for the Winds of Winter. Let the Wull bathe in Bolton blood before I die. I want to feel it spatter across Big Bucket's face when his axe bites deep into a Bolton skull. I want to lick it off the page and die with the taste of it on my tongue.
then he can either finish the book, or forever be known as the fatass who denied a man his dying wish

>>24799557
Boltons are based and they should win though.

>>24797824
targs and wargs are exclusive blood magic people or whatever while the fire god is universal and the bald motherfucker sees things in the fire and used it to kill his brother he obviously fucking believes in the fire god beyond just using it for political power.

>>24798911
>Book makes it clear that Robert saw Rhaegar and slew him in the river while both were on foot
>The artwork has them riding horses
I like the inconsitency gives it a flavour of being more realistic. However what I don't get is the size of the Trident, how on Earth did Robert and Rhaegar 'I need to cum inside a 14 year old prophecy womb' fight in middle of the Trident when its so large you cant see the shore on eitherside when you're in the middle. Was the fight at a small tributaryriver/creek bed?

>>24799646
they fought at a ford, so it was specifically a spot where the river was low enough to cross it.

>>24799646
>Book makes it clear that Robert saw Rhaegar and slew him in the river while both were on foot

Based retard. Gurm literally praised Justin Sweet fo being accurate and not drawing them on foot.

>>24799581
>we have multiple instances of Stannis outright describing his faith, or rather the complete lack of, with no reason to believe he's lying
>we have multiple instances of Stannis hearing "do it Rhllor wills it" from his most immediate religious authority on the matter and going "no way fag", as well as generally acting disrespectful of the faith and it's trappings
>"noooo he's a true believer and not just using the Red Faith for achieving his political goals, you can tell from how he uses the Red Faith to achieve his political goals"
Again, you're having that retarded thing where you conflate "not being a believer" with atheism, the denial of the very existence of divine powers.

In Ancient Greek mythology, we have numerous characters who know for a fact that the Olympic gods exist and have tremendous power, and those very characters then proceed to challenge those very gods, talk shit, deceive or defy their will (to deeply regret it later). Those characters do not deny the existence and status of gods, but they hold no faith or devotion towards those gods, and at times try to use the power of those gods to advance their own agendas. A number of Christian denominations believe that Satan literally exists and can literally manifest himself, do magical spells, control or kill people. These people believe that Satan exists, but they don't put their faith in Satan, they are not Satanists.

>>24796103
>GRRM doesn't seem to understand that 99% of his fans don't give a shit about his other "kids."
He does, and it makes him seethe.

>>24799273
Shit bait faggot

>>24799777
You are arguing with a "person" who likely has no inner monologue and is not able to visualize an apple.

Why did the Neck fail to flood? Was the Hammer of the Waters more/less effective depending on where it was used? Was the Wall its third attempt?

>>24800187
I’m likened to think it’s dependant on the region. Soil. Water flow. Etc.

But I sometimes think the Children of the Forest grew friendly with the First Men in that area and maybe they stopped it.

The Neck was formed when the first Wall fell before/during the Long Night. All that water has to go somewhere. Moat Cailin was the original Castle Black equivalent.

The "hammer of the waters" is like the "horn of Joramun", a mcguffin that supposedly causes earthquakes. I think the construction of the Wall is magical and tied to the sacrifice of their future that Nights Watchmen make, and what actually will make it fall is the end of the Watch

The simple solution to this shitty book not being released has always been the same.
His two retarded slaves, Elio and Linda, should have gotten him an adderall prescription 14 years ago, if they had done that the series would already be finished.

If one of you were brave, and actually not retarded, you would be sneaking into his home and spiking all his drinks (not the water, as you know this fat fuck only drinks soda) with adderall, and a hint of creatine.
But none of you will do what needs to be done, because you are cowards, and losers.

>>24800289
Who are Elio and Linda? I agree though desu.

>>24800298
Georges housekeepers

Elio and Linda manage westeros.org and are gurm's personal assistants and factcheckers so he stays consistent with his own lore.
Elio is one of the five people on earth who knows how the books end.
Elio has insisted that The Winds of Winter will release, "one way or another," alluding to gurm's death.

>>24800317
You're just his housemaid bro, get over it

>>24800215
>The Neck was formed when the first Wall fell before/during the Long Night.

The Wall was built after the Long Night and the Neck had been formed before the Long Night.

After the Children of the Forest's plan to sink the Arm of Dorne failed to stop the First Men, they tried once again at the Neck but their magic was weaker by then and it only resulted in it turning into a swamp.

>>24800363
It turned into a swamp because they were retarded to use it there. Geography matters.

>>24800502

It was already the lowest point in Westeros but the CotF magic was no longer strong enough to completely sink it.

>>24799521
anon, she is insane

Gurm, gurm. It rhymes with worm.
All fat and pink and covered with sperm.

>>24800541
Nah the earth was too soft. Mushy.

Is anon right about George

>>>/tv/215233218

>>24800588
I would say soft magic is more like knowing how to have magic service a narrative rather than knowing what magic itself is.

A detailed and fully explained magic system would be incredibly cringe and totally kill the series. It's best if it is left vague.

>>24800597
That’s sort of the essence of magic, though. There’s Magic™ and then there’s “magic”. The latter is often the more magical if it’s stands out in regards to the former, if it’s it’s truly unknowable or unsurpassed.

Something can look like straight up hocus pocus or straight up fairy magic and still not be seen as or called magic. Look at Christian rites and look at Tolkien’s elves. The elves KNOW what it is they’re doing while the children of the forest are still a bunch of backwards forest hippies.

Magic as a word can’t be used a hard definition for anything, either. If you hard define something as magic you’re basically waging a war on all else out there that could also be described as such. Why the fuck would you do that? Even math was seen as magic for thousands of years. Fuck.

Hard magic systems can be done, but, it often misses the point. A hard magic system is just the mad scientist poking at the unknown. Or some strange alien sage. You don’t NEED words like “magic” to invoke a sense of mystery or wonder or horror or alienness, etc.

This is why things like chemistry and metallurgy are still seen as magical or even sorceries fields in ASOIAF.

>>24800616
I like both, but there is an appeal to having a system and then working within it to do cool shit within a narrative.

The capital-w Wizard is so transcendent, so humble, and so worldly, that they don’t see themselves as such, and their bar for magic is higher than yours.

>>24800633
A working magic system is fine, but what happens when it comes across something even more radically magical than it? What then? This is why I find the label annoying to work with at times, since some people go “no it has to be called something else since the name has already been taken and trade marked”, which missed the whole point of magic to begin with.

>>24800651
Well yeah. As anon said most people don’t know what magic even is anymore. If they think it’s just some glowing blue goo/energy then they’re sadly retarded. We may as well call the black blood of the earth (yes fossil fuels) sorcery.

I just want to see Leyton and Euron throw the magical kitchen sink at each other.

Magic is the chemistry in the brain that leads up to a sensation of enchantment.

It’s relative.

>>24800363
There have been multiple Long Nights, I'm sure of this.

>>24800605
Good thing all the sorcerers in the setting agree with you and supplement their arcane power with sleight of hand, cold reading, and chemistry based effects

Sorcerers in this setting poke at magic the way Marie Curie poked at radiation.

I spit on RIMly BITCHratheon
I spit on SHITnnis BALDratheon
I spit on JOBfrey BASTARDratheon
I spit on KNOB SHART
This is eternally a Greyjoy board.

I keep forgetting I'm waiting for that book. It's just a dream now. This was all just a dream.

>>24800969
>ooh im Gaylon Gayjoy im well hard im gonna seethe that my sons got taken and raise my whore daughter to be my heir instead of taking saltwives and making more heirs

>>24800978
>greenlander chimp can’t interpret actual speech
Disappointing but unsurprising, I’ll say it again for you.
I spit on RIMly BITCHratheon
I spit on SHITnnis BALDratheon
I spit on JOBfrey BASTARDratheon
I spit on KNOB SHART
This is eternally a Greyjoy board.

>>24800289
The Crow calls the Raven black

>>24800633
Too bad Rothfuss is lazier than martin
I liked the fact there was explicity two different magic systems, one which was considered mundane and known quite well, and one which was truely unknown and difficult to even understand

>>24787922 (OP)
The thing I keep thinking about is who has the food In WOW. Dorne and the Reach are untouched by war. The north is fine besides a few castles and keeps but the men arn't home to tend the fields. The Riverlands are already fucked and kings landing looks like it's in for a world of hurt. Not to mention Little finger in the Vale waiting to sell high.

How bushy do you think Jon’s bush is? I always wonder. Surely he’s not all that well groomed down there.

Sorcerers are like carpenters. It's obvious.

>>24801035
Targs are twinks so he’s very hairless

>>24801035
Satin makes him shave.

back in the early 2000s george claimed dany's dragons would be more fearsome than anything seen since aegon the conqueror when they landed in westeros
then the fat retard created vermithor and the cannibal along with ditching the timeskip so now that's impossible

>>24801028
Dorne is rich but they're running out of water. Despite their riches, the picture painted of Dorne in the books isn't one of a prosperous kingdom.

>>24801035
Satin told him that it looks bigger if its shaved, so he started shaving it. Not because he wanted it to look bigger, but because he wants Satin to like it.

>>24800969
imagine believing reading a book makes you a wizard
Ironborn are eternal retards

>>24787922 (OP)
Which Free company should I hire that isn't the Golden Company?

>>24801277
The Brave Companions

>>24801056
Source for this?
>>24801108
>>24801253
Non-canon.

>>24801357
No its 100% canon

So have the majority of Gurm readers accepted the fact the WOW book will never be released?
t. never read Gurm myself but the situation fascinates me

What was the point of the Brave Companions? Was it a jab at the loser tabletop mentality?

The Brave Companions, to me, were basically your typical D&D murder hobo party. A group of random, “edgy,” fighters, barbarians, and rangers, with poorly thought out backstories, all from random foreign lands, and crappy character traits... like lisping… They travel around killing, raping, and stealing, with little regard for the DMs (…George’s) carefully crafted world, randomly switching sides on a whim and doing absurdly evil things purely for the lulz. Their social encounters consist mostly of insults and wisecracks and potty humor. They rutinely ignore and humiliate powerful NPCs and quest givers, and act like they are invincible, until the DM is fed up with their shenanigans and murders them all through sheer circumstance.

I mean their name just sounds like a crappy D&D group, who could care less about anything but combat and loot and rape.

Except for that old doctor they had. He was a pretty cool character build. So they reused him in the Kings Landing subplot.

Their foil, the BwoB, is a slightly more well thought out and roleplayed adventuring party, What with actual backstory and character motivation, and interesting concepts. But even they are destined to devolve into an evil edgy revenge group.

>>24801385
I think you cracked it.

>>24801381
Yes, 2025 is the year of realization and acceptance.

>>24801381
twow*

>>24801385
Thats a lot of words just to say "the Brave Companions are based"

>>24801437
>rape is le based
Grow up.

>>24801477
quiet, roastie

>>24787922 (OP)
This universe is my personal hell.

>>24801543
Everyone should harass him in public until he starts writing again.

>>24801628
Or he might just delete his progress in a storm of contrarian incel rage if he gets mad enough.

>>24801385
The Brave Companions are Dornish agents. Preston Jacobs has a whole series about this. Their actions (burning down septs and murdering septons) lead directly to the rise of the Faith Militant which undermine Cercei's rule. Also, Vargo Hoat kills Ser Amory Lorch by feeding him to a bear. This doesn't make any sense because a company of sellswords would logically use a hostage to gain a ransom, not killing them outright. Why did the Brave Comapnions kill a valuable hostage like Amory Lorch? Because Amory Lorch is the one that murdered Rhaenys, Elia Martell's daughter. They killed him for Dornish revenge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TBfdd_xNVo&list=PLCsx_OFEYH6uvfZSfec35DXBEpvA9fpm0

>>24801659
preston jacobs thinks ASOIAF is a science fiction series
he's retarded.

>>24801665
All fantasy is science fiction and vice versa. But yes he is retarded.

>>24801665
What does that have to do with the Dornish master plan? Being wrong about one thing doesn't mean he's wrong about everything. He even says at the end of his videos: "I'm probably wrong about half of this" (but that doesn't discount the other half)

>>24801659
>>24801694
>it was the DOOOORnish
No it wasn’t you stupid faggot

>>24801659
>Why did the Brave Comapnions kill a valuable hostage like Amory Lorch?
Because they aren't rational actors trying to optimize their income. They're sadists for whom the money is just a bonus. The sole "exception", Qyburn, is a mad scientist looking for a patron who'll give him the human resources he needs for his Frankenstein project.

>>24801288
>immediately betray their employers
No thanks

whose the best BBW in asoiaf?

>>24800810
>There have been multiple Long Nights, I'm sure of this.

We know humans, horses, turnips, etc. evolved here on Earth and we know Planetos isn't Earth, thus it was colonized by Earth and as we don't have the technology yet, this had to have happened in our future.

I believe the Valyrians were genetically enhanced humans who enslaved regular humans here on Earth and launched a colonization mission to Planetos (using a hollowed out asteroid as their ship, which now orbits the system on a long period orbit as the Red Comet).

But at some point after, there was a civil war among the Valyrians that so devastated the planet, that it knocked everybody back into a stone age and everybody forgot their original Earth origins (other than a handful of surviving Valyrians in the Valyrian Peninsula).

This was the Long Night.

But the few surviving Valyrians used bits of their remaining tech to create dragons and formed the Valyrian Freehold but the Faceless Men stole some of the tech and created a "nuke" (that they tested on Hardhome) and used these to topple the Valyrians, with only the Targaryens escaping.

>>24802233
>We know humans, horses, turnips, etc. evolved here on Earth and we know Planetos isn't Earth, thus it was colonized by Earth and as we don't have the technology yet, this had to have happened in our future.
This retarded ass logic could be applied to literally every single fantasy setting that includes humans and Earth plants/animals but isn't set on Earth. So, pretty much all of them.

Gurm revealed to me in a dream that Jon x Satin will be canon in TWOW and Jon will bottom

>>24802278
Being gay is wrong, stop with that

>>24802289
Satin is a twink. Twinks are near enough to women to make no matter.

>>24802315
Satin will be the only crow to sleep with Val because George will think thats really funny that the most feminine man gets the most beautiful and desirable woman

>literal Nazi white supremacist genocidal fascist colonist slaver aryans
>Loved by gays, browns and leftists
Eye opening stuff. Deep down they know white people are cool as shit and superior, and their anti white rhetoric is just cope and self loathing. George's fiction allows them the catharsis to express how they really feel about whites without guilt or societal pressure, similar to rape fetish smut for women

>>24802603
Targs are a single family with as many cool and heroic members as mad pieces of shit, not an entire ethnic group of tens of millions. 'This one inbred family with real magical power and are interesting and fight each other and are compelling are better than you' is very different to 'this whole ethnic group is better than you'

It would be much cooler if the intended Lannisters' downfall would happen due to Jaime and Cersei openly marrying each other instead of everybody doing random retarded shit. Thoughts?

>>24799301
Please is imposible that the fat bastard would be so retarded to ruin the relationship of Jon and Arya by making jon a complete different character after his resurrection. While many things about him could change after his death I dont believe that his love for Arya could be forgotten, is the most important bond for both characters. By the way I dont mean by his love for her not changing in the way that others fags do thinking that jon is going to love Arya in a normal way that a brother love his sister, grrm wrote Jon as a siscon from the first book to the last one and everyone that thinks otherwise is a retard that doesnt understand Jon or grrm festish with incest or a disgusting shipper that deserve to be neutered

I hear the warlocks of Qarth have wicked orgies

>>24799200
not a bad theory

>>24802603
Normalfaggots love the targs because of the incest, betrayal, and flippin dragarinos. They're the protagonists of a shitty soap opera and one of the main reasons why the series failed.

What's Ilyrio's deal? He seems to be helping Dany. Does he intend for her and Aegon to marry?

>>24803186
She's a diversion, he is hedging his bets in case Aegon doesn't work out.

>>24801381
I'm holding out hope for at least one more Dunc & Egg novella but it's obvious that novels are now beyond him.

>>24788763
Niceeee

>>24803240
plus, when you are dealing with targs, who are very prone to get themselves killed, you need to have B plan...

>>24801381
He’s 80 years old and melting before our very eyes, he ain’t gonna finish Winds and Dream even if he starts writing as hard as he can right now.

>>24801385
I think you, like 99% of other ASOIAF theorists, are putting far more thought into minute details than George ever needed to.
The man thinks Darkstar is unironically cool.

>>24802289
Shut up Cersei

>>24803339
yeah, the whole thing about some characters, like how Viserys is meant to be an idiot but was able to raise his sister since he was 8, teach her history, geography and 2 languages makes me think he just went with the rule of cool for most things.
There's also Brienne, who legit feels like she was inserted on the story after George watched Utena or smth.

>>24803339
Darkstar is cool tho

>>24803604
Only in a ironic meme way

>>24788461
Dany going bananas is pretty well built up in the books, I don’t know why people have this hero fantasy about her. The show made the turn look extra stupid thanks to bad writing (ze bells) but I have zero doubt it’s a core plot point for her after a brief sliver of appearing to save the day. I mean just thematically think about it, it’s how he writes this shit. Will she blarg I’m ded and will the dragon melt the chair? Maybe not. Although I strongly suspect the chair melting is in there in some context it’s just too juicy a symbol not to use.

>>24803636
>I don’t know why people have this hero fantasy about her
Yes you do

>>24803613
Nope, try again

the dance of the dragons would never happened if the king guy married hunter schafer

>>24803957
hunter schafer is ugly
I would rather ponder a scenario wherein alicent has a penis

>>24803773
I don't

>>24803957
who

>>24802757
Nah, the lannisters fall should have happened when tywin was alive.

>>24803636
Cause she is a woman.

>>24802823
Speaking of Qarth, why do we know so little about the city despite spending a whole book there?

>>24804150
George needed the space to describe the underage nipples nobody asked to see.

new
>>24804485
>>24804485
>>24804485
>>24804485