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I was gonna repost this for old times sake cuz I saw a huge bug that reminded me of it, but I fucked up my medicines and slept long enough to see the thread fall off, so here's a sloppy reboot where I didn't even get the (embed)'s off.

Anyway.

Love Bug.

>You register the sunlight beaming through your eyelids and pushing the dull haze of sleep out of your mind. Rising to stretch your still slightly unfamiliar limbs, you look beyond out your bedroom window.
“Well, it seems we’ve been blessed with a lovely day today.”
>You reach out and shake the gently breathing figure in the bed next to you.
“Wakey wakey, lazy bones.”
>He grunts and scrunches his face, not accepting that you would just keep shaking him until he moved.
>Finally, he speaks. “Away, succubus! I sated you last night!”
>You titter and lower yourself next to him, gently nuzzling the back of his neck with your nose.
“You should know that one as wicked as I will never be satisfied, Anonymous.”
>He groans in protest yet reaches a hand back to caress your cheek as you kiss his neck and the feeling of warm spreads through your chest.
>”This is what I get for going to the altar with a Changeling Qu-“
“Not a “queen” of anything anymore, darling.” You interrupt “And barely a Changeling these days either.”
>”Mm.” he says as you spread your hands across his chest. “Then what could you be, Chrys?”
>You breathe the scent of his hair in with glee.
“Simply a wife, a teacher, a mo-“
>”MOOOOOOOOM!” you both hear through the walls followed by two pair of galloping hooves.
>”HE TOOK MY OCARINA!”

>>42253466
>You and your husband release a familiar sigh as you both push yourselves up out of bed.
“Be there in a minute, sweetheart!”
>”I’ll take this first. Go fix yourself up.”
>You cock your head inquisitively.
“Beg pardon?”
>”Ear alert.”
>Your hand shoots up to the side of your head and welcomes an abyssal sinking feeling from your chest down to your stomach when it finds a long, flat appendage not fitting with the form you chose for your life.
“O-Oh.”
>The pit in your chest gave way to a whirlwind inside you that reached up to your brain, you tried to push it back down while also keep up appearances.
“H-how foolish. When did t-that happen? One moment my dear, let me just-“
>You pull your hand down the length of one ear, trying to make it snap back to place.
“w-we mustn’t keep the children waiting I’ll just get this back…back-backbackba-“
>Anonymous whistles and puts his hand on your shoulder, calling your attention to his smile.
>”Relax.” He says, and you just begin to.
>”Go to the bathroom and get yourself all taken care of. I’ll take care of the kids and you can join us for breakfast, does that sound good?”
>You feel your heart slow itself at his touch and take a breath.
“Yes…yes of course, you’re right. I’m sorry.”
>”Don’t be.” Anonymous leans over and pecks your lips. “See you downstairs.”
>As Anonymous gets off the bed and leaves the room, you give yourself another few moments of calm peace before heading to the bathroom. You could already feel your ear changing shape thanks to your calm mind, meaning you might get waffles before they’re gone today.

>>42253470
>The sounds of something sizzling on the stove welcomes you as you come down the stairs some time later.
>”Mom’s here, kids!” you hear Anonymous call out.
>Entering the kitchen has you find your husband frying strips of bacon on the stove while your daughter awkwardly plays an ocarina between her hoofs and your son tries to cut into a waffle on his plate with a black eye.
“How in Equestria did you hear me over that?” you ask as you peck Anoymous on the cheek.
>”My ears are GREAT. How are yours?”
>You catch his code and move your hair, flashing him a glance.
“As they’re mine? Perfect.”
>”Got that right.”
>You titter and walk over to the table with the kids.
“And what happened here?”
>”He stole my ocarina.” Your daughter answers.
>”She left it out.” Responds your son.
>”And pops was too slow to stop that.” Anonymous calls.
>You sigh and give your son a disappointed look.
“You’re getting slow, dearest.”
>”Yeah, probably.”
“And you are grounded.”
>”I know…” the colt answers.
>”Hey, hon! Come man the guns here while I make your lunch, will you?”
>Excitement plays at your senses at what that means, and you hurry over to the stove.
“Gladly!”
>Anonymous chuckles and steps to the side, tapping a small music device from his world with his finger. “Any preference?”
“Something soft at this hour, I beg you.”
>”Food.”
“It all tastes the same.” You say as you man the frying pan.
>Anonymous finally places something on and begins rooting around for food.

>>42253473
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTSLZmxuJbk
>You close your eyes as the music starts and let it enter you. The feeling of the notes worms their way under your skin and make their way into your blood.
“You ought to have been a composer instead of a deliveryman, darling.”
>Anonymous laughs and continues to pack. “I said I had good ears, why does nobody listen to me?”
>Your hips begin to sway back and forth on their own as you pop a few morning grapes into your mouth and feel the smooth sensation seep from them and down your throat. You must have been smiling.
>”Why does mom always look so happy when you pack her lunch, dad?” one of your children asks.
>”Because your dad’s the man.” Anonymous says flexing.
>You laugh and put more food inside you before the music ends.
“It’s because I’m so different from the others in this town.” You say.
>You had originally wanted to never tell your children about what you were born as, but Anonymous had convinced you otherwise saying that the truth would get out eventually. He was right, of course, but you were still determined to look the part of a human’s wife. For your sake more than theirs.
>You walk over and dish out bacon onto each breakfast plate. “So for me this music feels…heavenly.”
>Your children look up at you just a bit confused, at their age it was no surprise they couldn’t understand your…unique biology.
“It’s also because your father is “the man”.” you say.
>The music ends as you sit and Anonymous kisses his arm. “Knew it.”

>>42253462 (OP)
Joe Biden

>>42253478
“Can anyone answer this for me?”
>You turn from your blackboard and meet the gaze of your students past the glasses you wear entirely for show.
“What is love?”
>You banish Anonymous and his infectious beats from your mind for the moment and watch the class contemplate, eventually one of the students, a griffon, raises a claw. “Love is…a connection? I guess? An…energy, I guess that binds two people who love each other? Across time and space?”
>You consider her answer and nod.
“Very good, Grizelda. A close approximation.”
>You begin to pace in front of the class.
“For the purposes of friendship, love can be considered the ultimate finale state. When one forms a bond with another, they may cultivate that bond over time as you both make your way through life. Eventually your bond may become a blood oath and so on and so forth from there. Friendship scholars theorize that it is the accumulation of those strong bonds through life that strengthens one’s soul against hardships it may face, with love being the ultimate expression of that, an unbreakable bond.”
>Another student raises their hand. “But…isn’t love a rare experience? Is it really the ultimate expression of a bond or is it possible to reach a similar point without romance?”
“Aha. I’m not in my younger years anymore, but I believe the youth call that the “friend zone”.”
>The class laugh at your joke just as the bell rings.
“That would be lunch, my dears. Read pages sixty to seventy-three tonight and remember that you’ve got a quiz on depression and broken friendships next Monday, study hard.”

>>42253483
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-Jmg93Xj8
>You smile as the music beats through your earbud. Your husband was cheeky, that much was certain. Perhaps it was simply because he was not in the same room as you.
>The music Anonymous packed on these little music sticks always made eating anything a joy, even something as normal as these cheese sandwiches.
>You push the earbud in your ear with one hand as you eat with the other, bouncing in your seat in the cafeteria a bit as you listen. Hopefully none of the students saw you or your reputation as a stern teacher would be irreversibly ruined.
>The sandwiches disappear quickly as you try to preserve the sensation of consuming them while listening to this song for as long as possible until eventually they’re gone. You didn’t mind, however.
>For you, the treat was the side effect of the music.
>As the song ends and you prepare to check the next morsel prepared for you, you open your eyes and spot a purple pony princess sitting across from you.
>The sight of her pushes all the positive vibrations you had just heard out of you.

>>42253486
>She sits there silently with her hooves resting on the table as you take your earbud out.
>You release a small sigh, wanting to keep this professional until she goes away.
“Is there something you needed, Headmistress Sparkle?”
>”Nope. Just checking in.” she says.
>An awkward silence hangs in the air. Part of you wonders if she’s here to cause you problems before
>”Does that taste good?” she asks glancing at your food, interrupting your train of thought.
>Oh yes, she was here for that.
>The important thing here was keeping composure.
“A big of a complicated question, headmistress…Because of the biology of my birth, I don’t have taste buds that work the same way yours do, so I’m afraid I can’t taste any of this like that.”
>She nods. “Yes, I think I remember that at the hearing. So you…?”
>You dangle your earbud between your fingers.
“My husband, bless his heart, packs this for me each day full of music from his home. I can feel the passion and emotions in the music and that serves as my substitute for taste.”
>She offers a faint, momentary smile that vanishes just as fast. “Yes. Anonymous is quite the catch, isn’t he?”
>You stow your music player.
“The best in the lake.”
>You were utterly CONVINCED Twilight Sparkle had eyes for Anonymous before the two of you had fallen in love.
>”Is that why you choose to look like him?” she asks.
>You steady your breath a bit.
“I choose to adopt a human form for several reasons, Twilight.”
>”Such as?”
>You shoot her a glance, she still has that innocent look on her face for the students around you both, but you could spot the glint of steel behind her eyes.
>You invented that glint.

>>42253490
“As you know doubt remember, Headmistress, when Anonymous and I fell in love, I felt that the “me” of the past did not exist any longer. The Changeling Horde have all assimilated with King Thorax, with no need for a Queen or her old…ineffectual ways. The pit of despair that followed that was what Anonymous saved me from, aaaand now I have no interest in being anything I once was.
>You brush some of your hair to the side.
“It was all in the hearing…”
>”Mm.” she says. “Is that all it takes these days? Changing your shape and adopting some foals?”
“Do not bring my children into this, Sparkle.”
>You were fine with the hazing she liked to heap onto you, just desserts for your failed invasion those years ago, but not that.
“Please.”
>Twilight Sparkle’s face remains as stony as ever. “But that doesn’t change anything, does it?”
>”You’re used to changing shapes and adopting new persona Chrysalis, but did that ever change things in the past?”

>>42253495
>The fact that Sparkle was technically your employer, even if it was under orders from the Princesses, meant you bit your tongue.
>”I mean you can’t expect me to believe that hundreds of years of subterfuge and sabotage against the kingdom while you stole our love was done by, how many years of marriage was it?”
“Six years and counting…”
>”Six years and counting of marriage?” Twilight continues to speak words that cut you like a knife. “I was at the trial, yeah, but the Princesses confidence is based on YOUR confidence, can you even be sure that you’re really different? What if this is just another persona you adopted to survive? Six years doesn’t get rid of centuries of crimes.”
>The feeling from this morning returns, along with the abyss forming in your stomach and your heartbeat increasing.
>Nothing she was saying was true, it couldn’t be. You were Chrysalis, mother and teacher and wife. You lived a quiet existence in a quiet town that JUST HAPPENED to be also have the six ponies who were responsible for your previous life collapsing and the now-princess of the guard captain you had attempted to seduce. It didn’t matter. You weren’t her anymore, you loved your husband and you-
>”Your ears look a bit off, Chrysalis…”
>As fast as your hands shoot up to cover your ears do you shoot out of the School of Friendship.

>>42253499
“No no no NO NO!”
>You don’t even have the time to make it to your bathroom, bee-lining straight for the downstairs wash as your three-button suit for work vanished from your body.
>To your horror, your “California Gold” skin of a human slid off your body like an ooze, showing a black insectoid shell underneath it.
>You scream a scream you have not held within you since Thorax collapsed your hive as the skin hits the floor and dissolves into smoke.
“Nonononopleaseno…” you whimper into the mirror.
>Already you could see it. Your eyes growing greener as your pupils began to slit and your hair beginning to adhere together into long strands of moist moss.
>You had to stop it before it got too far. You concentrated on Anonymous and your family but found Sparkle’s words echoing inside of your ever-elongating skull.
>What if this is just another persona you adopted to survive?
>Did that ever change things in the past?
>You were not her. You were not her. You were not her anymore.
>Air flows through your hands as holes begin to form in them and a pain in your forehead nearly pushes you to the ground as a horn starts to try forcing its way through your skin.
>Claws pick at your heart pounding in your chest as your thoughts turn only to your family.
>They can’t see you like this, you were not her anymore. Nothernothernothernother.
>You would be chased out of town if this got out, they would think you were relapsing. You would die alone and starving in the middle of the badlands as befits one as hideous as the Queen Chrysalis of old.
>Your children would grow up having had their mother ripped from their lives by her own weakness and sin and would become hollow shells of what they could be.
>Your husband, dear Anonymous, would-
>There’s a thump from outside in the living room.

>>42253505
>You feel him, you wish you didn’t.
>Cracking the door open you creep from the washroom towards the source of the sound. You find it in the form of your husband placing a record player on an end table and setting an old vinyl disc on top of it.
>You hide your foul form behind the corner of a wall and try to spot the sleeve the record came in but must stick your head out too far.
>”Hey there, beautiful.” Anonymous says.
>You jump back to the shadows nearly on instinct.
“D-darling! What a-are you doing home?”
>”I could ask you the same thing, hon.”
>Damn.
“Oh I-I just, f-forgot something at home and wanted to use my free period to…”
>”Come on out, Chrysalis. Let me get a good look at you.”
>You shrink behind your protection again.
“I…don’t have my face on right now!”
>That wasn’t a lie, the snout you have is proof.
>”A…huh.” Your husband says.
“Darn, where was that b-binder…”
>”Derpy says she saw you running home, Chrysalis.”
>Damned mailmare!
>”Please, come out.”
>You grip at your chest as the tightness grips back. You wanted to run to him, lose yourself in his embrace and forget all your woes from ages past.
“I don’t…want you to see me like this.”
>”I think you need me to, sweetheart.”
>His words cut you nearly as deep as Twilight and before you can think of a response, you find your satyr-like legs moving you into the living room. You can barely look Anonymous in the eye as he looks over you.
>”Chrysalis…”
>You don’t respond, you don’t want to hear that name, it’s why you used so many pet names.
>Anonymous puts the needle down on the record. “May I have this dance?”

>>42253514
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ue4Jx1oBviI
>Anonymous throws Jazzhands and his favorite wide smile as soon as the music begins playing and he prances around the living room.
>You remain still watching with some confusion but notice your wings on your back fluttering to the beat.
“What are you-“
>”Hey, do you remember the first time we spent together? It was when you were sitting alone in your old hive and I came to visit.”
>You nod, not wanting to speak of the day.
>”I remember seeing you and thinking…’Wow, that’s got to be the most depressed thing I’ve ever seen’ And then I asked you to dance, do you remember?”
>You remember that dance in your dreams and give a small smile when Anonymous grabs your hands and begins leading you on a jig you can’t resist.
“Something about love and all I needed…”
>”I just thought it was funny. You were a good dancer though.”
>Your hands in his, you feel lighter.

>>42253518
“Liar. I’ve never been good at dancing.”
>”It’s not about how good you are, baby! It’s all about how you feel when you do it. Music isn’t the only thing that carries emotion, you know.” He says with a smile and a wink.
>You giggle.
>”And then every time I saw you, you looked a little bit less sad, and I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”
“I find it hard to disagree.”
>”Know what I see now?”
>You grimace and avert your gaze from his.
“Darling, I don’t want to…”
>”No no! Come on, it’s important.” Anonymous protests, pointing to the mirror on the wall. “For me, please?”
>You feel your frown on your face and look to the reflective glass, expecting a monster to look back at you, but only finding the face that smiled in all your wedding photos.
>Words don’t make it out of your mouth but Anonymous speaks for you. “Don’t let Twi get to you. She’s the past, you’re the present, and you’re better than every Hearths Warming present I ever got.”
>You sniff back tears as he kisses your neck. “I’ve only ever seen you, Chrys. Whatever shape you have on, I felt that connection with the one I danced with in that cave that day, nothing will ever break that bond.”
>You pat a trembling hand on his cheek as you separate and summon up that spirit you had when you and your husband first danced together as you join him around the room.
“That probably sounded less foolish in your head.”
>”Nope, just as, I promise.”
>Anonymous laughs as he spins you around and then back into his arms. Your lips meet under the roof of your slice of paradise and you think to all the good things that came to your life that Sparkle could never take away so long as you had them in your life.
>You also think about how to thank that mailmare.

>>42253521
There you go, some green to lighten up your day. Or whatever.
Don't be like me, kids; sort your pills so you don't pop the sleeping ones way too early and fuck up your day.

I swear to god I'm trying to get new original stuff out, too many motherfuckers in my life are ending up in jail or the hospital or some shit and fucking up my STEEZE
That's style and ease

>>42253479
Mr Prezident go to chemo.

That’s some good green

>>42253523
i dont need no chemo, only ponies can cure it

>>42254334
How who do you think gave you the cancer in the first place

>>42253466
I blame Deltarune for our inattentiveness.

>>42255154
I have been neglecting writing because of video games. Mostly deltarune.

>>42255154
>>42255331
Hey guys I have this ring for you to wear...

>A wall? Absolutely not!
>See, walls already trigger a subconscious need to see what's on the other side..
>Fence? Same thing.
>By putting a giant, border-length DOOR there instead..they'll be utterly puzzled!
>Trust me it's gonna be 'yuuge, you're gonna love it.

>>42255835
I’d almost want to see what an authentic pony caricature would look like, but then I remember the subject matter

>>42256223

>>42254334
Ponies don't cure everything, however.

>>42255154
can confirm, my brain is rotting until i finish it

>As part of their cultural exchange sessions, Twilight starts asking Anon about the folklore of his world
>a lot of the classics, like the names of cities, have suspiciously horse-like equivalents so he doesn't have much to go on at first
>not wanting to overly disappoint the lavender librarian, he takes a gamble on video game lore
>it's not exactly tales handed down through the centuries, but ponies don't have anything like them
>as word spreads, they become a hit with the populace
>Anon doesn't think much of it, spinning a few more out here and there best as he can remember
>what he doesn't count on is how much some of them inspire foals during their formative years
>it's all fun and games until poners start getting cutie marks for things that had never existed in their world

>>42257704
*HONK HONK*
HEEEEY, c'monnn..get over, this is the carpool lane..
these horses, man, I swear..

>>42257314
Ring for you too...

>>42255154
Hey guys, do you mind if I open up a Dark Fountain in here?

>>42257314
You guys seen my bird? I swear he was just here…

>>42253521
Cute

>>42257704
>Tell Twilight about the Library of Alexandria
>She's been upset for three days now

>>42259655
>good thing he didn't mention that they've been trying to rediscover some of that knowledge for 1400 years without any success

>>42253466
I wish to hug that bug

>>42253462 (OP)
I should probably ask this in current Lyra thread, but I'd like to ask for stories about Lyra being stupid when she interacts with a living human being
any good greens?
>>42257704
>briefly mention horsemen of the apocalypse
>forget to explain that horsemen are not half human/half ponies
>Twilight is now trying her best to stop (You) from impregnating a mare and creating world-ending abomination(s)

>>42259655
>"Anon, what's the Tower of Babel?"

>>42260703
Now that you've brought it up I think an Equestrian would absolutely hate that story.
>"Why would a God fear Harmony so much and do such a terrible thing to your people?"

>>42260790
I’m still working on how they’d handle the concept of “things you aren’t supposed to know”

>>42260335
>Pinkie is scheming. She has plans.
>she's constantly trying to get you to fuck candy-making mares in the hopes they'll get pregnant
>as soon as the four horsemen of the alollipopse are born, a new golden age of confectionery will dawn over Equestria

Anyone know what happened to this fic.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/577158/1/stupid-anon-adventure/00-twilight-summoned-anon-part-1-and-2-prologue

>>42261753
looks like it 404'd

>>42261753
fimfetch and foalfetch don't seem to have anything. I couldn't find anything on ponepaste, either.

>>42183775
>The two of them don't say another word to each other while Twilight flips through pages.
>Anon should eat but he doesn't.
>He should drink but he doesn't.
>He just sits there, waiting for Twilight to try the next bright idea.
>This should be the happiest time in his life.
>He's currently dead to the world.
>He doesn't notice when it's been hours and Moose returns.
>He doesn't respond when Moose mocks him or goes downstairs.
>He does offer a thank you to Spike who was kind enough to bring something to eat for everyone.
>Although it was more like a preprogrammed response.
>It doesn't break him out of his trance.
>Spike waddles up to Twilight, head deep in her books.
>”Twilight, how long are these guys gonna be here? It's gettin’ kinda cramped. Real sausage fest.”
>”That's fine Spike just set it anywhere.”
>He rolls his eyes.
>Feeling rather kind today Spike only puts his fingers between the pages and Twilight's face before snapping them.
>”Rahh!”
>The purple pony lets out a nasally yelp.
>”Oh, sorry Spike. I've just been losing sleep on this one. Nothing I've tried has worked so far.”
>”Have you tried fixing their problems?”
>Twilight flicks Spike’s head fin.
>”What does it look like I'm doing?”
>”It looks like you're doing what you do with every problem.”
>Twilight's eyebrows raise as she shakes her head at Spike demanding his answer.
>”You're reading a book. Look at that poor sap.”
>Spike points a claw at Anon, the poor sap.
>He doesn't even realize they're talking about him.
>”Spike cut it out. As soon as I can reverse the spell everything will be fine. That has worked before. It'll work again.”
>There's a desperate chuckle at the end of her sentence.
>Spike rolls his eyes and sighs, walking away from his adoptive mother.
>He heads upstairs, passing Anon on the way and giving him a comforting pat on the back.
>”Hang in there kid.”
>The dragon waddles on.
>Every room in the library has someone or somepony in it.
>They all stay quiet in their own little worlds for the rest of the day.

—

>The morning after is much the same as the last.
>Moose rouses before Anon, he finds Twilight grinding away in the main room.

>>42262402
>But his excursion from yesterday has sparked his flame.
>Moose can handle staying indoors for extended periods but he needs something to occupy his time.
>He feels he shouldn't but he can no longer resist.
>Twilight is so busy she doesn't notice him going through the rows of books upon the library shelves.
>He pulls anything and everything that catches his eyes.
>Answers to questions he's had since day one of watching the show.
>History books, cooking books, anything non-fiction he can get his hands on.
>One in particular grabs his attention.
>A medical book on pony anatomy.
>He feels dirty looking at it.
>Moose takes it anyway, putting it in the top of his pile.
>He carries them upstairs away from Twilight and Anon.
>A place where he can read alone.
>The books on history read like fairy tales with much of the important details, dates and places, left out.
>Which is aggravating to say the least for Moose.
>Ponies add sugar to nearly everything.
>Moose thinks, “I'm going to get diabetes if I stay here.”
>He pushes it to the side.
>The anatomy textbook tempts him from the corner of his vision.
>Almost like it's calling out to him.
>”I'll never look at them the same way again if I do.”
>He grabs the book and sets it before him.
>With a shameful sigh he opens the cover looking for an index or a table of contents or a glossary of some kind.
>There isn't one.
>Frustrated, he starts flipping through the pages for diagrams and illustrations.
>There is one full body diagram cutting a pony from nose to tail.
>However it’s very rudimentary, it's missing detail all over it and has notes and doodles scribbled next to it.
>Notes and doodles that upon closer inspection appear to be part of the printing itself and not some pony vandalizing.
>Moose feels physically sick at such an academic injustice.
>But what he was initially looking for is there.
>Ponies do have genitals suitable for their frames and stature and…
>Moose gets distracted staring at horse cock and pussy.
>After some time spent on ogling, Moose remembers his priorities.
>He skims through each book to pass the day, but goes back to the medical one to read cover to cover.
>His appetite goes unsatisfied.
>It's severely lacking in verifiable and useful information.
>He can't believe this passes in a library.
>He needs more.
>Moose descends to the main room of the library.
>Waiting for him is a frazzled and messy Twilight with hair kept up in a bun.
>Images of the diagram creep into his mind.
>Those images disappear when he sees Anon slumped over on his temper tantrum stool.
>He looks frustrated today, angry almost.
>”You're looking pretty down Anon. Anything I can do to help?”
>”Yes actually. Could you-”
>Moose walks past Anon mid sentence to return his books and search for more.
>”You can be such a jerk.”
>”I think that was almost an insult.”

>>42262403
>Moose doesn't let Anon’s comment interrupt his flow.
>Searching through the shelves to satisfy his urges.
>He is coming up short.
>Having to ask for help again pains him.
>Moose approaches Twilight with book in hand.
>”Twilight do you have anything more advanced? More in depth on medicine than this?”
>The purple horse raises her head up from the abyss to look at Moose.
>She rubs her eyes.
>”You want more on, heretical packages?”
>Moose pursed his lips.
>He reinspects what he's holding to be sure.
>”Twilight, it says medical practices.”
>Twilight rubs her eyes again.
>Really digging those hooves into the back of her sockets.
>She takes another look at the cover.
>”Aw crap.”
>”Language.”
>Moose teases Twilight involuntarily playful like.
>”Hey, you try making a counter spell to a spell nopony’s ever casted before.”
>”How hard could it be?”
>Twilight throws up her hooves in anger.
>All her papers and notes get swept up in her display, spreading themselves all over the room.
>Moose and Twilight stare at each other.
>They just stare.
>Until Moose, without doing anything else, walks away, back to the shelves to search for more books.
>Twilight is too tired to argue with him over something so petty.
>Before she can do it herself Anon has already started collecting the papers around the room.
>”Thank you Anon. But it's ok.”
>Using her magic she collects everything from her mess and returns them to their rightful places.
>Even the sheets of parchment right out of Anon’s hands.
>His hands clench and ball up.
>With nothing else to do Anon sits back on his stool.
>After only a few moments to breathe there's a knock at the door.
>And then it explodes open as Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash burst in.
>”TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT!”
>Their voices overlap each other.
>"What what what?”

I made a ponepaste if it interests anyone.
>https://ponepaste.org/11133

>>42262408
>”WE NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT AWAY!”
>Rainbow hovers right in front of Twilight, inches from her face as she yells.
>So does Pinkie.
>”Stop yelling, what's so important?”
>Their voices are still overlapping.
>”Applejack got attacked by Timberwolves that were actually changelings and they're being ordered around by a time traveling-”
>Twilight jams her hooves into their mouths to stop their shouting.
>”Alright I'm coming. Just give me one second.”
>Twilight takes off her sultry librarian getup and ruffles her hair, letting it down.
>She turns to Anon.
>He looks concerned.
>If he had eyes they would be wide open and misty.
>”I promise as soon as I deal with whatever is going on I'll be right back and we can keep working on the spell.”
>Anon turns his head.
>”That's alright. Go save the day, I know it's what you do.”
>Twilight gives what she thinks sounds like a reaffirming and light hearted laugh.
>She doesn't give anything to Moose.
>She gallops off with Pinkie and Dash and the door closes behind them.
>It's quiet.
>Having nothing else to do Anon slinks back to the basement and climbs into his cot.
>Moose stays up in the main room, looking through more books.
>As many as he can find.

—

>>42262412
T hanks

>>42262643
ur whale cum

You know what, poni?
Don't stay on Earth, ok?
VISIT.
Yeah.
You know, like, see some national parks, go to the beach, shop a mall or two, but don't- DO NOT stay longer than necessary.
You'll go native before you know it.

>>42263061
This horse gets hmd every night

>>42263112
Yes, poor thing, she probably lives off those frozen Hungrymare Dinners

>>42263124
Wrong hmd

>>42263626
think you got it both wrong, its actually WMD aka Weapons of Mass Destruction. George Bush is about to declare war on Equestria for having such weaponry.

>>42263635
Deer did wtc

>>42263635
>Them gotdang ponies is extendifying Saddam's armory this second!
Dubya pls

>>42263635
>in alternative reality Bush stages 9/11 as Rainbow Dash doing Sonic Rainboom on Earth

>>42264075

>>42264642
ebin

>>42264863

>>42263635
They have it coming

>>42264642
Oy vey…

>>42264075
>Deer did wtc
Oh shit, I just checked and there were NO DEER inside the WTC when it happened! In fact there were no deer there in the two days leading up to the attack!

>>42266385
Guys there's someone at my front d

>>42263061
I'd kill myself if I ever had to leave the earth internet.

>>42267387
Run a network cable through the portal. Or a router on either side, if that's not practical.

If they can make a book that copies text over between dimensions, they could probably do the same with a computer. You could leave one somewhere on Earth with a good connection and take the other with you all over Equestria. It could be the ultimate wireless connection.

>>42267591
Do magical portals transfer electrons?

>>42266776
Guys did anon come back

>>42268641
He got taken away by candleja-

>>42267921
brains run on electricity so I guess they do?

>>42268727
That’s not an active current tho

>Anon's been observing how music affects ponies
>sure there's the random showtunes shit in the middle of the day, but he's noticed the activities of the ponies will begin conforming to the nature of any music if it plays long enough
>as luck, or the whims of an angry but bored god would have it, his phone came with him to Equestria loaded with a shitload of music
>-EXPERINGMINTS-
>Test 1: You Spin Me Right Round

>>42269766
>Test 2: Every Breath You Take
>by Diddy

>>42253521
is this your favorite green?
>>42262412
>Twilight takes off her sultry librarian getup
hnnng!
>>42268643
fuck motherfucking candljack
honk if you love pony pussy!

>>42270267
No, not my favorite, just the only real one shot I have that I can post without any hassle. All my other stories are serials so it’d be weird to post, like, chapter 23 of BiE absent of any context.

>>42270351
I can see that. I actually haven't read BiE, but I wanted to try and prove you wrong anyway; so I read chapter 23 out of context. It's some comfy Rainbro romance stuff. Lots of banging in it, which I appreciate. I don't think it'd be weird to post outside of context, and you could always throw a title up in the name field (BiE 23.) Although some Lyra and Bon Bon drama that I'm out of the loop on does come up in it just before the chapter ends; so you're probably right.

I also saw this:
>"If this is normal, you're libel to kill me." you say as you stroke her mane.
Good thing Anon isn't dating Twilight, she would've caught that.

>>42270403
Go read the rest, it’s probably not likely to make you vomit (though my early writer mistakes might)

>>42270403
That takes me back…

>there are only three "Anon is a SCP" greens
I feel like I miss some stories that don't use le securecontainprotect format

>>42271219
SCP being taken over by psycho troons probably doesn’t help

Anon driving all his neighbors insane after playing Shortnin’ Bread for three days straight

Turns out there IS a story I can randomly post.

"This is your worst idea since you tried to host a bike marathon but removed all the seats first."
>"Oh but think about how much more interesting it would have been!" Celly chuckles.
>You and the rest of the royal family walk through the Grand Canterlot Orchestral Hall late some evening.
>And by "Royal Family", you mean ALL of it. You, Celly, Luna and your FAVORITE Nephew-in-law, Blueblood.
>The crowned prince trots next to the three of you literally eying every mare within a two block radius.
>You lean over to Celestia.
"At least we know he's your nephew now."
>Celly rolls her eyes and leads your party towards the main entrance.
>Along the way you meet your Super Best Friends, the paparazzi.
>The camera bulbs flash and snap as Celestia and Luna walk up.
>You raise your hand over your eyes to block out the light and let the more at home royalty bask in the attention.
>Celestia turns to you. "Darling, why don't you take Blueblood inside and Luna and I shall join you in a few moments."
>You feel your eye twitch in response to the annoying load she just dropped on you.
"You're a bad person and I hate you."
>Celly hurries you through the throngs of people with her magic. "See you inside, dear!"

-Theme song: https://youtu.be/ywMD3GLoKG4-

>>42272234
>A whole damn hour later, you and Blueblood are standing in the foyer while the paparazzi STILL takes pictures and grills Celly and Luna.
>Blue is standing in the center of a large group of concert go-ers, casually talking to several of the females there.
>"And so it was then that we learned that the dignitary's were IMMENSLY interested in fencing, and who else but myself was the Canterlot Academy's top duelist?"
>The crowd voiced their impressions as Blue soaks in the praise. "And so with a quick show of force and form, we were able to move the trade negotiations along at a positively fevered pace."
>Everyone assembled claps their hooves to the Prince's story and he just eats it all up.
>You can't help yourself.
>It doesn't matter if he's your "nephew".
"Yeah, Blue's fairly good at "fencing"."
>Blue chuckles and glances over at you. "Uncle?"
>You walk into the group of socialites. "Remember? That time at the bar with the pegusi in the green dress?"
>Blue's eyes shrink to pinpricks and his mouth falls almost to the floor.
"What was his name again? Jeremy or something?"
>Blueblood turns a glorious shade of pink and averts his eyes, everyone else is giggling.
"But the interesting thing was that our dear Prince didn't come back that night, or even for most of the day, he still won't tell us what happened."
>Blueblood shuffles on his hooves a bit and darts his eyes around. "Uhmyeswellyouseewelaughedatthemisunderstandingan-"
>Three chimes signaling the start of the performance echo through the hall, Blue bolts off before the first one is even done.
>"Comealongunclewehavetotakeourseats!"

>>42272235
-Celestia PoV-
>After finally escaping the press, you were sitting down for a nice quiet evening with your loved ones.
>The four of you were sitting in the royal box as you watched the violin quartet on the stage play Marezart's 4th in D.
>Luna and your nephew were seated in the front row as you and Mous sat in the rear in the shadows.
>Meaning that Mous was leaning back in his char with his eyes closed.
>With a simple spell to ensure that your companions wouldn't hear, you break the silence.
"Blueblood seems far quieter than usual tonight."
>Mous shrugs. "Maybe he's taken the hint after being turned down so often."
>You chuckle.
"My..."voraciousness" isn't the only thing my nephew has inherited, he seems to have quite the track record."
>Mous stays silent and you lean into him.
"What did you do~?"
>Mous shrugs again. "Just told a story, nothing too major."
"Why do I feel you're lying?"
>"Because or marriage is built on lies and slander."

>>42272237
>You chuckle.
"If the radio could hear us now."
>"Pffft. They won't be saying jack with the bone we tossed 'em."
"So, apart from terrorizing my family, what else have you done?"
>Mous stretches and rests his head on his hands. "Dodge press, sulk, wish I was somewhere else with anyone else."
"So the usual?"
>"Pretty much, yeah."
>This man. He was either startlingly interesting or dreadfully boring.
>You eventually just relent.
"Oh if you're not having any fun, go off and entertain yourself."
>Mous's face lights up for the first time in the entire night. "Really?"
"No use just having you moping around the castle all night."
>Mous leans over and pecks your cheek before he runs out of the box.
>You giggle and readjust yourself in your seat.
>You always enjoyed this part, when he would run around and dream up these insane plans to make the night more interesting.
>Now you just had to wait to see what happens.

>>42272240
>About a half an hour after Mous left and you were still sitting in the royal box.
>With him gone, you were free to enjoy the string concert, but you admit that the rising feeling of anticipation knowing he was out there doing something had you excited.
>The thought of him rooting around, probably in the ducts and about to do something that would probably result in more than a bit of property damage all to simply change things up around here.
>It was romantic in a demented sense.
>Not that he could ever completely get away with it, there was no fun in that.
>You'd think up something for him later, for now you have a guest.
>The owner of the Venue, an older mare with a worn horn, trots into the box.
>She bows her head. "Your Majesty. On behalf of the entire Grand Canterlot Orchestral Society, let me tell you how much of an honor it is to have you all here in out hall."
>You give her a small bow of your own.
"The pleasure is all ours, ma'am. Your players are divine."
>You could hear hard footsteps on the ceiling above you, signaling that something was about to happen.

>>42272244
>You find yourself biting your lip in anticipation.
>As the owner continues to talk, you turn your head a bit so you can see the stage.
>The soft and calm playing of the violins was occasionally punctuated by a metallic cracking sound from above.
>All at once the roof of the Orchestra Hall begins to groan and the audience below gasps and cries in shock.
>The man hanging by the chandelier chain kicks and shouts as he dangles over the audience.
>You feel a smile tug at your lips as he turns towards the stage.
>"PLAY SOMETHING!" he shouts.
>"C'MON, YOU'RE PUTTING ME TO SLEEP UP THERE! PLAY SOMETHING!"
>The players look to each other nervously as their prince shouts at them.
>"MELT MY FUCKING FACE OFF!"
>They grab their instruments and play.
-Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjufc7GMrCs-

>>42271540
the Foundation has been popular for over a decade, just having three bins seems strange to me
(I must say that /kinder/ has a bunch of SCPs, but /kinder/ fucking sucks)
(Also /anonfilly/ has a RPC kek)

>>42272245
>After Mous's touted "facemelter", two other songs, and an encore about some sort of free bird, you're waiting in the foyer with your family.
"What in the WORLD is taking Blueblood so long?"
>Luna scoffs next to you. "Tis only the powder room."
>"Maybe he fell in?" a voice from behind calls.
>Mous comes up on your opposite side holding an ice pack to his shoulder.
"Feeling better?"
>"It's a bit stiff, but I'll manage."
"That's what you get when you hang from the ceiling for forty minutes."
>Mous flits his tongue. "You would know, wouldn't you~?"
>You would, but he can't think he's winning.
>A commotion rises from the opposite side of the orchestral hall, from the direction of the washrooms.
>Wonderful.
"Come along..."

>>42272249
>You lean Luna and Mous towards the bathrooms and find a curious sight.
>Your nephew was sitting on the ground as a mare smacked him numerous times with her purse.
>"AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH BLATENT DISREGARD FOR MANNERS IN ALL MY LIFE!" she cries.
>Security comes in fast and approaches the mare. "What is going on, ma'am?"
>"I FOUND THIS...RUFFIAN COMING INTO THE MARES ROOM AFTER ME!"
>"B-but-! I did-! It-!" Blueblood stutters.
>The guard sighs and hoists Blueblood up off the ground. "Please come with me, your majesty." he says before leading him away.
>As you follow with your eye, you catch sight of Mous's shit eating grin.
>You sigh.
"What did you do?"
>"Shaved the little dress off the symbol so it looks like the stallions room." is your answer.
>That...was actually pretty good. You would be laughing if you could in public.
>You turn and lead your family out of the hall.
"We will talk about this at home, husband."
>"Oh dear. Titles. Now I'm in trouble." he says sardonically.
>While watching your nephew learn to curb his ego was entertaining, your husband would have to be "punished" in some manner when you arrived home.
>Perhaps something with teeth.

>>42272250
This story is older than the show ever was.

Anyway don't sleep on your stomach, kids.

>Upon the Equestrian leaders (formal) arrival to Earth, the fanfare and ceremony was a bit different at times..
>"Princess Celestia; regent of the sun, so honored to have you on Earth, welcome."
>"The very benevolent Miss Luna, Princess of the night and keeper of dreams, welcome."
>"..An-..Who might you be exactly, sir?"
>'Big D.C., homie, attache' to the Royal sisters as their Advisor of keepin' it real, ya heard?'

>>42272615
Wigger

>>42272251
DUSTY OLD BONES

>>42272251
God am I that old?

>>42272615

>>42273654
Remember, we're in the forever years now. Time stopped in 2010.

dear fucking god re-gaining the ability to write more than ten words an hour after a particularly bad creativity drought is something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. though maybe it's just green-specific burnout, i'm not sure

>>42274342
Try putting it in prose and then breaking it up with >

>>42272251
I remember this...

are there greens about Twilight studying human biology through Anon? Like omnivorous nature, dexterous hands, etc?
bonus points if she finds something wrong with Anon and just assumes that it's normal for humans

>>42274909
>"It seems that all human penises are approximately 3 inches long and bent at a 50 degree angle."

>>42262140
>>42262143


It was more than 30K words so I don’t think the author would just delete it it

What about the fim archive if i download that do you think I could find it there

>>42275247
Lots of old pastes are lost to the abyss of time when the sites hosting them auto delete from the author not logging in in forever

>>42274936
Lol

>>42275959

>>42275959

>>42274342
Start with a layout.

>>42277198

>>42253462 (OP)
What’s up with that stained glass lmfao

>>42277920

>>42278390
skibidi toilet reference

>>42278394

>>42278780

>Artist Anon in Equestria
>Because it's a cartoon world, it's piss-easy for Anon to draw pictures that look like it could be a photograph
>He draws pictures of certain ponies doing scandalous things and sells them to the newspapers as real photos he claims to have taken

I love our useless moderation team

>>42279550
/mlp/ jannies are so fucking inconsistent, they always ban the one raidfag who posts the cross post linking to ptfg on other threads he doesn't like but anything else the mods look like they're having a siesta with how lacking any sort of moderation there is.

>>42279550
Wait what happened

>>42279588
there is a raid going on, you can see via the catalog and the anonfilly thread

>>42279593
>only 9 pages

>>42279164
He still has to make his living selling cartoon smut, but now he’s called an “eroticist”

>>42279593
Who would piss into an ocean of piss?

>>42279593
How pathetic

>>42280951

>Twilight both misunderstood, and took Anon's tales of magical girls a bit too seriously

>>42271219
There's some guy cranking usually silly ones out in the Kinderquestria thread, some are pretty fun

>>42281422
Let her have her fun.

>>42257297
They didn’t cure my dead mom

>>42282341

Does anyone know what happened to this fic? It was a Twilight x Anon fic?


https://www.fimfiction.net/story/574691/eternal-loving-darkness

I was away from fimfic for a while and had this on my reading list, and when I come back it’s off the site

>>42283037
I don't know the name, it might not be one of ours.

>>42283400

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GB8SSIK0sQ&start=36
>be one of the most uniformly purple of somnial researchers
>which is to say Twilight Sparkle, and asleep
>or at least you were until a moment ago
>bad enough you have to get dragged away from useful activities like sorting your texts on proper hay cultivation, storage, and cooking for an adventure every other day
>now you've just had an exceedingly odd dream that spanned a great journey and a final battle against a giant irate frog
>at least this one wasn't always shrieking in anger, you suppose
>what an odd cast, though
>not that it should surprise you that a dream delved into the strange, but still
>you had been some kind of princess, you think, and could hover everywhere
>what a silly thing, everypony knows that self-levitation grows exponentially harder with size and is usually only exhibited in very young unicorn foals
>Spike joined your quest, ever-faithfully lugging your burdens, and he'd donned an odd mushroom-like getup
>your father had been there too, but wearing a red hat and incessantly shouting "Wah-Hoo!" while jumping for seemingly no purpose
>and then there was Anon, dressed up in what for him was a set of clothes that Rarity probably would have considered uncharacteristically appropriate
>why, he even-
>CRASH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>aaand, there he was, having just dove in through your closed window
>scrunched back against your pillow and in the midst of being a split-second from losing your shit at him, your bleary eyes managed to focus
>wut
>green overalls
>just like the dream
>"FUCK SHIT hey Twilight, sorry about the window! Goddamn it could you hold on to this Igottagogottago!"
>and right back out he jumped, fluttering his feet the whole time
>an odd weight on your blanket finally registered to you, where he'd set something
>it was a giant reddish-orange key
>HORSEAPPLES

>>42283037
I dunno ask the fimfiction thread

>>42271540
I’ve been there. It’s way worse

>>42284796

>>42284141
Now do paper mario

>>42274342
All your powers were at your old house

>>42287087

>>42287572
so true!

>>42287580
Image fell off, soz.

>>42253462 (OP)
I see butthole im this image

>>42288044
I too my fellow goo goo gaa gaa see a rather star shaped buttocks in my view when I see that image.

>>42288046
Yeah I saw that

>>42288044
>>42288046
>>42288597
Twiggles ponut…

>>42272251
Holy blast from my past.

>..The Atomic Griffon Roaster Extra Crispy Incinerator Thingy did WHAT?

>>42290001
>"Made dinner, what else."

>>42287589
wut

>>42260335
>Twilight is now trying her best to stop (You) from impregnating a mare and creating world-ending abomination(s)
I wasn’t going to, but now I am

>>42290566
At WORST it’d be a retarded mole

>>42291134
>implying that b&thros are better than moles

>>42291134

>get to Equestria
>you're world's second Anon
>first one told Twi lies about every single human custom you can think of
>you're not even sure what kind of shitposting he was participating in to come up with some of the stuff
>bookhorse can't comprehend that first anon lied for shits and giggles

>>42292634
speaking of two anons in equestria:
which aie green's anon would you get along with the worst should you be beamed into equestria with him?

Do you guys self insert as anon, see him as a separate character, or replace "anon" with your name?

>>42293270
>Do you guys self insert as anon
sometimes, mostly not. it works either way
anon is the 4chan everyman, that can mean a range of things to different writefags but even the most uniquely characterized anon will have traits based on that archetype

>>42293270
i can only self-insert as anon

>>42293270
Anon self inserts as me

>>42293270
To me, Anon's like our own knockoff Dan Vs, and I love him. He's that guy from the internet, who shitposts in your favorite thread, and tells Twilight that friendship sounds super gay so he's not doing it.

>>42293270
the first one and sometimes the third one

>>42293270
Anon is you, (You), and everyone. He's sort-of a self-insert and sort-of an archetype/parody of a typical /mlp/ user.

>>42293270
All three
sometimes he's a character /flutterrape/, sometimes he's (You), sometimes he's me, sometimes he's just an average normalfag
We are and aren't Anon

There's an Anon for every Alicorn, and Twilight is destined to meet hers too.

>>42292634
Twilight knows Discord, she’d at least be able to spot lying

>anon pisses off a unicorn

>>42292634
>adventures of 'strailan anon
>"Wait, you mean that Earth isn't infested by drop bears?"
>Nope.
>"And there wasn't really a massive war against flightless birds?
>Oh no that one was real lmao

>>42293270
He's Bugs Bunny, whatever you need him to be.

>>42295907
>Anon is a crossdresser, a furry, and has a thing for bald men with speech impediments

>>42292634
>You're the second Anon there
>The first one is black

>>42296052
Uh, yeah?

>>42296713
Just making sure.

Beware: If you are Bugs Bunny, you have no excuse not to join in on the ponies' spontaneous musical numbers.

>>42272234
>Super Best Friends
Huh, I was actually rewatching a bunch of their old lps lately. What are the odds

>>42297090
Higher considering there sure as hell aren’t any new ones

>Anon arrives in Equestria, Terminator style
>his eyes are terrible so he needs to obtain glasses
>also clothing because he doesn't want to show off his schlong
>and the teleportation orb from terminator destroyed somepony's property so he has to somehow pay for damages

>>42297641
>I'm a friend of Starlight Glimmer. I was told she was here. Can I see her?
>No you can't see her. She's helping a student.
>Where is she?
>It may take a while. If you want to wait, there's a bench over there.
>I'll be back.

>>42296947
Who’s gonna stop him?

OH, it's The Shah Of Saddle Arabia!

>>42299047
That man is clearly from Manehattan.

>>42299257
Yeah? Let him tell you a couple three things.