Admit to your most unhinged headcanon about your favourite pony.

Twilight's got a complex which is why her canonical crush was on a guy who was way too similar to her brother

Celestia has already destroyed neighboring nations during her first millennia as a princess.

Rainbow Dash is a miracle baby

>>42282818
Celestia orchestrated all of the friendship problems in order to keep the Element bearers sharp. If the EoH are Equestria's nuclear option, and only ponies that truly embody those qualities can wield them, then their bearers need to be kept in practice in upholding those qualities to ensure that Equestria is always protected. Celestia deliberately creates challenges for the Mane 6, often relating to their Element, so that they're always re-learning how best to embody that Element and thus staying qualified to wield it.

>>42282830
I really like this one.

Rarity loves rimming.
Moondancer smells her own armpits, and she scratch and sniff her pubes.
Applejack has helped Sunset to have sex with real horses since horse cock is one of the very few things she does miss from Equestria.
Fluttershy loves helping animals "in need" when no one's seeing to please both them and herself.
The CMCs have played with each other inside their treehouse since they genuinely believed playing like adults was going to help them get a cutie mark.
Marble Pie is actually a guy.
The Apple family have traditionally been far more incestuous than the Pears.
Starlight is probably into diapers or some kind of weird age regression play.
Pinkie Pie is way too innocent and nice to be the sex expert mare people make her to be, and if you were to pull your cock in front of her she would probably not understand and be weirded out by it.
Celestia has fantasies over Discord for hundreds of years since she's the only one that truly knows what he's capable of pulling of.
Discord has raped before.

She's a slut.

>>42282863
>Moondancer smells her own armpits
What fucking arms

Cheerilee hates pomegranates.

>>42282883

>>42282891
NO NO NO POMEGRANATES

>>42282891
Jesus that's fucked up

>>42282781 (OP)
the most unhinged headcanon i have for derpy is her doing tax evasion so i will go for my 2nd fav pony


She has some foalfucking fantasies, altough she is afraid of hurting said foals

>>42282781 (OP)
Princess Celestia is a terrible ruler, but 1000 years of conditioning and propaganda and being the only ruler to Equestria has made everyone blind to the fact. She did a lot 1000 years ago, sure, but since then, she's been nothing more than a trophy queen. Princess Luna on the other hoof has actually interacted DIRECTLY with her subjects. Same is true for Twilight and Cadence! Now you can argue 1000 years of peace, but that doesn't excuse her recent achievements, which is practically nothing other than having Twilight and her friends do her dirty work.

>>42282781 (OP)
>Unhinged headcanon
>Well, I've a really unhinged one as follows:
I headcanon that ponies are all mostly well adjusted and do not have any of the bizarre, degenerate, or disgusting sexual fetishes that Anons project on to them.
>Oh, I like that pony.
>She must have the sexual fetish I like.
>...because I like that fetish.
Bullshit. Yes, ponies would have sex. Yes, they would have certain preferences in sex. But, whatever those preferences are, they amount to something wholesome, fun, or cute (like Pinkie Pie using a lot of whipped cream during sex, or something like that, or Rarity wearing fancy lingerie, or Applejack preferring to ride her lover cowgirl style). No fucking diapers, vore, scat, incest, sex with in-world animals, filly fiddling, stink faggotry, BDSM slave-master bullshit, sexual torture, weird weebo-otaku fetishes, hypno-sexo, or any other degenerate trash like that which arises out of the minds of the broken Anons here on 4chan.

>>42283256
cool, my headcanon is that your headcanon is retarded and all of the mane 6 are necrophiliac pedophiles

Ponified EG headcanons?

Chrysalis loves me

>>42283293
Good headcanon.

>>42282781 (OP)
Twilight is the mother of every single other pony and creature in equestria, I am the father and magic is used to make them all genetically different, Chrysalis is from space so she isn't my child she's my second wife, the other changelings are still twilight's kids.

>>42282781 (OP)
shortly after the show ends, Chryssy, Cozy and Tirek are unpretrified and learn to embrace the magic of friendship

>>42283466
I like it! But, let's not have Chyssy become a skittles bug. I like her as she is.

>>42283351
>the other changelings are still twilight's kids.
does cheeselegs know that or does she think they're her kids?

Fluttershy

>>42282781 (OP)
>Luna secretly suffers from high functioning depression which is why she decided to retire alongside Celestia by the end of the show (If you consider season 9 canon)
>Rarity's eccentricities come from her having undiagnosed autism
>Celestia was Twilight's sexual awakening

>>42283530
Everyone is given a dossier on who they are supposed to be so everyone knows but they have to stay in character

>>42283544
Rainbow Dash

>>42283544
>>42283709
Applejack!

Scootaloo nearly died shortly after she was born because of a medical issue, and it permanently fucked with her pegasus magic, which is why Bulk Biceps can fly but she can't even though her wings are proportionally bigger than his. She's almost like an Earth pony minus the strength and horticulture, but she has the bare minimum amount of magic to walk on clouds. This could've been fixed if her parents bothered getting her the care she needed, but they didn't want to end their adventure early because of an unwanted sickly foal. They were actually hoping she'd die so they wouldn't be burdened by her, and when she lived, they chose consciously to abandon her in Ponyville so she'd be her aunts' problem.

Rainbow Dash doesn't view Scootaloo as a sister or an equal, but she feels bad enough for her and cares about her enough to take that role anyway. She doesn't understand how Scootaloo finds the will to keep going every day while being a pegasus who can't fly, but she admires Scootaloo for it even though she views her as an object of inspiration instead of a person.

When Scootaloo's not visiting her aunts, she is homeless and is used to sleeping on the street. This changed when the CMCs got their clubhouse (Scootaloo sleeps in it now). Scootaloo's aunts have no idea how to take care of a filly and that's why she only occasionally visits them: all three of them know that she's better off on her own than in their care.

Scootaloo's parents entirely forgot she existed until the episode where they returned and just arbitrarily decided she seemed useful enough to be a lackey for their adventures together. They intended to use her as a pack mule while telling her she's earning her place in the family.

Pre-Cutie Mark Scootaloo hated being around other disabled ponies and was afraid of them because, deep down, she knew she's one of them, and she didn't want to have to confront the fact that she has a deformity that cripples her and keeps her from doing a lot of the things she wants to do.

If it weren't for Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo would've killed herself before getting her cutie mark.

>>42283802
...Jesus

>>42283802
>Scootaloo nearly died
Stopped reading immediately; she died. I killed her. I cooked her.

>>42283802

>>42283724
Rarity!

>>42283802
Yeah I came to this conclusion too
To me, it's kinda like that's what they wanted us to think, we never saw her parents unlike the rest of the CMC until much later in the show and then they just show up out of nowhere? GTFOH

>>42282781 (OP)
Pinkie Pie is an Aligater, you can tell by her familiar, and the magic she uses.
https://www.thefreedictionary.com/Alligate
She uses magic of places and connections to pull off her tricks. Her "stretching" is actually her shortening a space and reaching through, making her look distorted for an outside observer. She also uses it to outrun Rainbow Dash. She prances over a few yards while Dash races for a mile. "Pinkie Sense" is her sensing otherwise-undetected connections between events.

>>42282781 (OP)
She finds fart humor really funny and constantly does it to the dismay of those around her(it doesn't smell or anything they just hate how lowbrow and gross it is). Thankfully I find it sexy so she keeps doing it.

>>42283973
you forgot your poochie flag

>>42282781 (OP)
Scootaloo is just a late bloomer, she can fly okay when she grows up. She's also an orphan

>>42282781 (OP)
Scootaloo can fly and just fakes it for attention, she also sent her parents away so she can pretend to be an orphan

>>42282781 (OP)
Sunset is just as much of an autistic sperg as Twilight, she's just better at hiding it

>>42282830
Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

>>42282830
Makes sense, what kind of monster would only cum in Windy Whistles once

>>42283973
Based
>>42284143
We are many

>>42283973
>it doesn't smell
Gay.

>>42282781 (OP)
Scootaloo has a latent, precocious sexual desire for Rainbow Dash.

>>42284541
They are both females. What goes in?

>>42284545
This is a talk you should have with a trusted adult.

>>42284545
Use your imagination.

Discord isn't the only one of his kind.

>>42284554
Gods, draconequus, or assholes?

>>42284554
IMO he "isn't" alone only because all other draconequus are just him from different timelines
that's also explains why he doesn't like to fuck with the time travel: his chaotic magic tends to split him

>>42283802
>Rainbow Dash doesn't view Scootaloo as a sister or an equal
Maybe at first

Sunset Shimmer views Celestia as her mom. The feeling is not mutual.

Applejack is infertile and cant get pregnant

>>42283802
>intentionally removing panels
should be a death penalty, or at least a permaban

>>42282781 (OP)
>Derpy is a combat veteran; her spatial issues come from a head injury. Equestria actually cares for its soldiers which is how she keeps getting jobs and Gala invites.
>Time Turner is not a time lord, he's just a guy who likes science and scarves.
>Silver Spoon is a massive tech nerd; she only hangs out with DT because the farm ponies would bully her for being a basement dweller.
>The mirror pool isn't evil, it's meant to create mindless conscripts the ponies can use to defend themselves without being sad about dead soldiers. They're just too silly and close-minded to use it correctly.
>All pony magic is fundamentally the same thing used in different ways. Alicorns are effectively just the avatar state of ponykind.
>Ponies have guns and gunpowder, they just hate using them because they're loud and stinky.
>Equestria is located inside a crystal sphere inside the core of a gas giant. The windegos and exodus were the pony mythology way of explaining life support failure in an entire continent.
>Ponies are engineered drones waiting for masters who will never arrive. Celestia knows this but is in denial, Luna knows this and that's why she rebelled, Pinkie knows this and that's why she speaks Spanish sometimes.

>>42284767
That's just how it was on Derpibooru. I simply looked up "homeless, Scootaloo".

>>42284799
I didn't ask.

>>42284800
I don't need your permission to speak, worm.

>>42284804
Cool your jets, hot shot, or else you might blow out your engine. Did I type engine? I meant "ass".

>>42282980
This isn't headcanon at all, this is an entirely logical conclusion to draw from the show without requiring any leaps of logic or personal weirdness

>>42283802
Fuck. I mean, I agree 100% but Jesus the Christ you didn't have to say it out loud.

>>42284806
You're trying too hard.

>>42284812

>>42282781 (OP)
Opaline rapes Misty

>>42284535
It doesn't smell like whatever indian sewage plant water you imagine it to be at least.

>>42285006
See. I hear ya. But what about this… I rape Opaline?

>>42285213
As long as it stinks, it's good in my book. Doesn't need to be lethal all the time.

>>42285729
It can only be lethal once...

>>42286380
There's varying degrees of lethality.

Every mane 6 member wants kids.

Since her biggest personal problem was breaking here facade (her ultimate defense mechanism) by getting angry, sad or scared the tree showed her that the only way she could reach harmony was through apathy. So it showed her a way to create a world of apathy with no magic of any kind.
Kind of cruel but the tree is what it is. Change your desire or abide by its rules.

Any pony with a talent for invention or sufficiently related field will undergo phases of sudden and extreme inspiration and be driven to create something (think fey moods if you're familiar with dwarf fortress). These inspirations result in the seemingly wildly more advanced technology sometimes seen in the show, but the trance like state often leaves the creator themselves not entirely sure how they created it.

>>42286537
That's a cool headcanon.

Scootaloo is a severely neglected latchkey kid who only really goes home to sleep, she's probably broken at least one or two bones without her guardians even knowing.
She also likes to sleepover at Sweetie Belle's or Applebloom's because it gives her some illusion of a normal home life.
Scootaloo also plays video games she's not supposed to: GTA3, Postal 2, SOCOM 2.

Scootaloo is a severely neglected latchkey kid who only really goes home to sleep, she's probably broken at least one or two bones without her guardians even knowing.
She also likes to sleepover at Sweetie Belle's or Applebloom's because it gives her some illusion of a normal home life.
Scootaloo also plays video games she's not supposed to: GTA3, Postal 2, SOCOM 2.

>>42286958
So your bold headcanon is just.... the last crusade?

>>42283943
this actually makes perfect sense, what the fuck
mine is that Fluttershy's Stare also works on ponies, and the moment she figured that out was also when she became so shy. she didn't want to start abusing the ability and so she cut herself off from nearly everyone, becoming a hermit. the times she tries it on non-animals, she fakes it failing to keep up the act, though it probably genuinely doesn't work on Discord, which is why she's so comfortable around him; she can't accidentally abuse him into following her will.

The Crusaders will never get cutie marks because marks are a manifestation of Harmony, and the crusaders are equally in the grip of Chaos.
This mean most ponies find them unnerving.

Sweetie Belle is usually over at Rarity's place because, despite being a nice little filly, they're kind of scared of her. Same with Scootaloo, living with her aunts, away from her parents, and mostly spending time even away from them. ( Agreeing with >>42286958 ) Applebloom lives at home because ponies of Ponyville are tough, living so close to the Everfree, and probably have a touch of Chaos, themselves. (It's part of the reason Discord chose it as his new capital.)

Celly loses to villains so often because she's losing her magical potency, which is because by the time of the show's events, she's starting to lose touch with the magic of friendship. This is why she wants to find a successor and abdicate, before she becomes too bitter and cynical to maintain Equestria at all.

>>42282781 (OP)
>Celestia
She has a dungeon full of prisoners. Ponies who even look at her wrong get thrown in. One time (quite a few times actually) a colt joked about how much cake she was eating at a festival. He was taken to the dungeon, including his family. She secretly eats meat.
>Luna
Still holds a part of NMM inside of her. She's a dormant volcano.
>Fluttershy
She fantasizes about leaving society and starting an animal tribe far away from pony lands. She secretly eats meat.
>Pinkie
She's one of Celestia's spies. She keeps tabs on the residents of Ponyville. She secretly eats meat.
>Rarity
SB is her daughter. She got preggers when she was a teen.
>Twilight
She was forced to do fucked up rituals with Celestia while she was living in Canterlot. She keeps those memories locked away.
>Dash
She's a virgin and is insecure about it.
>AJ
A huge brocon. She used to be a bully when she was younger.
>Zecora
Is a cannibal. She was exiled from zigger lands. She has never tried eating a pony before, but regularly plots about how she would go about it. And what ingredients she would add to her cauldron.
>Cherry Jubilee
She beats up her whores that disobey her.
>Braeburn
he's straight and simps for Cherry Jubilee. has a dommy mommy fetish
>Trixie
Has a nuclear trad family fetish
>Derpy
She sexually abuses Dinky. And gets away with it because everyone thinks she's retarded
>Mr. Cake
He's a shotacon. His wife knows but keeps his secret.
>Mrs. Cake
The mere sight of carrots gets her wet and winking.
>Scootaloo
Regularly masterbates to Dash's dad.
>SB
She likes to try the various jeweled butt plugs that Rarity owns. This results in them getting into fights. She doesn't know Rarity is her mother.
>AB
She's seen AJ and Big Mac fooling around in the barn many times. They don't know that she knows. She's grossed out but also turned on. She takes her sexual frustrations out on random colts in town.
>Big Mac
Bucks AJ when she demands it from him. But otherwise he prefers sheep.
>Cheerliee
She doesn't like unicorns or pegasi and will give them lower scores on tests just because she can.
>Diamond Tiara
She's bipolar.
>Silver Spoon
She likes to steal stuff even though her family has money.
>Filthy Rich
He likes to be dommed by his wife
>Spoiled Rich
She's not that attracted to her husband but will do the dom roleplay when he buys her something nice.
>Rainbowshine
She likes to pee on Ponyville when she's flying around. She doesn't try to target anyone, but the thought of accidentally spraying someone excites her.
>Berryshine
She's constantly drinking because her husband left her and she's originally from Canterlot.

>>42283279
Sunset "SS" Shimmer is a pony this means she's able and willing to herd practically speaking a cuckquean who watches her husband stallion mount another mare.
The Dazzlings are sirens or fairy ponies I don't know but they're either into rape or insane situations as a hobby/habit and in lovemaking.
The ponified Shadowbolts are like the M6 yet both reversed and intensified, for example whatever applies to Rarity of "generosity" is turned up to 11 with Sunny Flare.
Gloriosa Daisy does it innawoods while the animals watch. And maybe eats the shrooms.

>>42287493
Imagine being sent to this Equestria.

>>42287493
>nothing about Lyra
>nothing about Bon-Bon
I'm not sure if this is a good sign or not

>>42282781 (OP)
Pinkie Pie is secretly pulling the strings behind everything.
After temporarily gaining Discord's chaos magic, she sent her consciousness back in time to when she obtained her cutie mark.
She then repeated this process numerous times, being able to carry over more and more of her chaos magic each time she did a time loop.
She would gain multiple chaos abilities like Pinkie sense that would warn her about upcoming events kinda like knowledge from the future but more of a body warning rather than knowing it from memory. To put it simply, she just knows without knowing.
She then uses all this body information gathered to effectively turn Ponyville into a utopia by making every single pony happy.
It is theorized that if she loops enough times, she will become a god of chaos like Discord and basically become unstoppable.
Her morals may deteriorate from the power going to her head and it will eventually lead to her trying to make the whole world a utopia of smiles through any means necessary.
Also the mirror pool does not clone ponies, it is actually a portal to other timelines/dimensions.
Pinkie will constantly swap places with other Pinkies from other timelines without anyone noticing.
No pony is safe from Pinkie Pie, we are all doomed.

>>42287593
I did think about them. I searched deep inside for any weird takes. But I came up blank so I didn't include them.

>>42282781 (OP)
Rarity is secretly in love with Twilight.

>>42282863
>Marble Pie is actually a guy.
Now this is the one I'm willing to adopt

Anyway, mine:
>Equestria /has/ technology, but the entire place generally runs on Amish rules, so it's seldom seen
>Some human events are shared with pony time, but not the bad ones
>Hence, the titanic and Hindenburg existed at one point, but they didn't meet their doom in the same way ours did
>Nightmare Moon, the spirit that possessed Luna and promised power, still lurks the everfree, waiting for a new host to find her...
>(the new host is my sona, she is my wife)
>same thing for king sombra except for now, he's willing to just try to live a normal life in Canterlot rather than get his ass blown up again
>he's a handsome, mysterious stallion, so it's going better than expected
>blueblood isn't actually that much of an asshat, he just assumed rarity was another canterlot bitch who wanted him for his status alone
>Celestia + Arceus = Galarian Ponyta
>Ponyville actually does have electricity, but it's primarily used for lighting, so electrical outlets are rare
>the stoning of chrysalis, tirek, and cozy was meant to be temporary
>when flurry reaches cozy's age, cozy is unfrozen and carted to the crystal empire, acting as flurry's first "test" as a princess
>chrysalis is eventually reformed as well, but she never returns to her former hive
>and no, that doesn't mean she turns into a skittlebug- most changelings just have really bad taste in colors, especially thorax, so post-reform chrysalis ends up supermodel-tier
>here's one for the (you)s, Trixie actually is trans, but it's fuckin' equestria with magic 'n shit so all she had to do was visit some high level unicorn bitch in Canterlot on her travels to get her body swapped over
>anon filly is real but nobody knows what her cutie mark means
>scootaloo has been offered flight lessons in real aircraft, but for some reason she never takes up the offer
>rigid airships zeppelin-style and wooden airships traditional-style stay afloat due to captive cloud matter being stuffed either into their superstructures or into the balloon holding them aloft
>dark magic can glean power from fear, like Sombra, or lust, which Sombra either never figured out, or only used in private
>pony has a meat-eater's restaurant dedicated to the likes of dragons and batponies and other such visitors
>unlike the harmful stereotypes, zebra stallions are quite small compared to ponies, while zebra mares tend to be the same size or even slightly larger than pony mares.
>discord is the reason Equestria is kept safe from the likes of Entropy
>bulk biceps promises to help Tirek build his muscle the normal way, reforming him in the process, the two of them open a very popular gym together
>you could drink changeling piss if you wanted to, it's just water, they eat love so...
>dragons are naturally quadrupedal at birth, bipedal for the next century or so, then they return to walking on all fours when they get really big. They can switch whenever though.

Changeling transformations are absolute, and they can reproduce with other species, provided they were in that form. The baby will just come out as that species.

>>42287994
Changeling transformations are absolute
What do you mean? Once they transform into something, that are like that forever? That means they can only transform once.

>>42288005
He means that they're functionally identical to the target species when disguised rather than it being purely cosmetic.

>>42288007
Are there any rules on that? Seems harder to believe if a changeling can transform into a giant dragon and have all the powers and strength of a real dragon. and can get preggers and give birth to a dragon ?

>>42288122
Ocellus changed and got the proportional strength of the things.

Spoiled Milk and Cookie Crumbles are related. Their kids don't know this.

>>42282781 (OP)
Princess Luna was never banished for a thousand years, but rather that length of time was used as an exaggeration. In reality, alicorns are not immortal and the royal sisters are actually part of a long dynasty of rulers that has ruled Equestria since its founding.

>>42287853
>>blueblood isn't actually that much of an asshat, he just assumed rarity was another canterlot bitch who wanted him for his status alone
I forgot which one but the comic heavily implied this by showing how smart and tactful blueblood is at diplomacy.

>>42288151
>left
Haggard and homely
>right
SEXO
hHw did Rarity become such a sexy mare? Is that even her real mother

Equestria used to have modern military but Celestia disband them and brought back the Roman style army after something happened (NOT Luna's banishment as it was too long ago). Some aspect of the show suggest the existence of modern military at one point, the camouflage uniform the mane 4 used, "tank" being synonymous with the word strong, pinkie pie's night vision googles and pinkie pie's party cannon that implies actual cannon existed.

>>42288137
I don't recall that. When she transformed, she usually just used it for intimidation. When she did use the form, she didn't seem too much stronger than her usual form.

>>42288218
Oh I forgot the wonderbolt being us navy blue angels reference, probably the only remains of old Equestria military since they only exist to do airshow instead of causing destruction like other branches.

>>42287596
Bro, you just watched a theory video...

>>42288275
You're literally given their backstory when Dash has to get over her ADHD

>>42282781 (OP)
Hear me out
The ponies aren't actually that little

>>42289497
I mean, three and a half feet or so ain't that little.

>>42289504
>three and a half feet
So hobbits could ride ponies.

>>42289507
Absolutely.

>>42289507
I'd ride a pony, and she'd love it.

>>42289522
I'd be too worried I'd hurt them.

>>42283263
/thread
>>42283256
My head canon is that Applejack is actually not a tomboy at all in bed and loves being seen as the beautiful mare she is, and given princess treatment.

>>42284757
Kill yourself

>>42288218
It's simple, they HAVE tanks and such, but not many of them. They're more of a "magicless apocalypse failsafe" than anything, really.
There aint much a Sherman was gonna do to stop golden oaks from getting blown up, if ya catch my cold

>>42289497
That means everything in Equestria would be larger too. What that means is ponies aren't necessarily large, you are just small. Unless you mean if mlp ponies were in irl

>>42289652
i miss it so much

>>42289497
>mlp ponies are the size of irl horses
>Pinkie Pie bakes muffins the size of footstools
That sounds about right.

>>42289652
Ponies wouldn't send in something as dainty as a Sherman. They'd send the true apex of tank technology, held in their vaults for fewe of its sheer power

>>42282830
This is actually really good and I will be stealing

my hc is that celestia and luna both separately contemplated suicide during the moon banishment era. celestia chose not to because she knew the kingdom needed her. luna chose not to at first out of hope that celestia would let her come home, then out of bitterness and craving for revenge

>>42289681
This looks like something an ork would make.

I think Scootaloo's gay aunts got tired of her after like a week and put her back out on the street

>>42289497
Yeah, people forget that ponies are horses and horses are not the size of a big housecat.

>>42289722
Australians, orkz, what's the difference when you really get down to it?

>>42289791
B-but it was made by New Zealanders. They sounds like Australian but significantly more of a wuss and even more of a bootlicker.

>>42290041
I'll be honest, I forget new zealand exists most of the time

>>42289767
Anon is either going to be like Gandalf walking into hobbit houses and towering over ponies, or like hobbits walking in human houses with mares towering over him.

>>42282781 (OP)
Chrysalis, as the last surviving direct-out-of-undead-tree Changeling, is a barely-comprehensible clusterfuck of insectile, equine, and arboreal characteristics. The first results in her producing what is vaguely recognizable as honey, the second pings Starswirl with no mother for either of them on heritage-testing, and the third is an active functional component of her cloning spell.

>>42286537
I have a more general case of this as my own headcanon, where "standard" ponies are overwhelmingly idiot-savants reliant on their cutie marks to function as a civilization. Thus when anything messes with that or the obtuse forces of Destiny driving it they're mostly helpless to adapt because there aren't enough smart enough to handle "out of scope" problems to be a useful leadership structure, though conversely things have to get INCREDIBLY fucked for that to stick more than a generation.

>>42290266
Probably the former as human dash in that pic is a girl and highschooler. Anons will still tower over ponies like gandalf entering the shire (which ponyville is supposed to be), I think wbrothers and the human vs pony videos have the best human to pony size comparison.

>>42290147
Understandable.

>>42283943
>Pinkie Pie is an Aligater, you can tell by her familiar, and the magic she uses.

I mean, they put it right in our face.

>>42290315
>I have a more general case of this as my own headcanon, where "standard" ponies are overwhelmingly idiot-savants reliant on their cutie marks to function as a civilization
I buy it. Take G1 for instance, where ponies worship a 13 year old girl like a god for... being able to punch a guy or something

>>42282781 (OP)
foalcon is legal because it's giving fillies their first experience about sex

>>42290771
How about colts?

>>42290771
so cool Dashie

>>42287493
Based Cheerilee.

>>42290771
I think EqG accidentally made legal foalcon canon.
>FiM Mane 6 are functionally adults, fulfilling the societal role that 20-25 year olds play on Earth
>EqG Mane 6 are late high schoolers, about 16-19 year olds
>Twilight and Sunset are able to enter the school and be students without issue, so their ages are equivalent
>EqG CMC are younger high schoolers, about 13-15 year olds
>therefore, in FiM, the CMC would fulfill the societal role of late high schoolers, meaning that they are likely legal, a year or two off at most.

>>42291122
They are still biological adults because it's a high school setting. So no, eqg does not make foalcon legal.

>>42290771
Maybe we can get our cutie marks in sexual activities! Cutie Mark Crusaders Cockriders, yaaaaay!

>>42291551
>biological adults
Irrelevant, we're discussing legality, which is derived from societal roles. Age of consent was lower in older civilizations where teenagers had to fulfill the roles we now assign to adults.

>>42291772
>we're discussing legality
I'm discussing foalcon. Teen Cadance isn't foalcon. Even if legally she cannot consent because she's not 18 years old (or whatever pony equivalent). But she's not prepubescent, not even close.
Just use a different word then foalcon and I'll get out of your hair.

>>42282781 (OP)
I don't have any. The only headcanon I have is stuff that I think can naturally be extrapolated from the show without exceeding the bounds of the original intent.

>>42291949
Translation:
>RGRE is canon

>>42283256
>>42287493
headcanon what normies call "fetishes" are perfectly normal fun and prank/bullying thing the ponies do.

>>42292087
Not what I was thinking about, and I don't go to that general.

>>42292134
>I don't go to that general.
You should.

>>42291747
I know it's unhinged, but I think teen moms are cute (in fantasy anyway).

>>42292134
Can you tell us what you were thinking of?

And, what >>42292177 said, you should give it a try. It's not much more cringe that the rest of the board.

>>42292238
I want to cum inside teen Scootamom

>>42292272
I think someone beat you to it.

>>42292285
It was me, sorry

>>42292258
1.) The ponies need an almost dystopian amount of control in their lives.
>control the weather
>control the seasons
>control the sun and moon
>control every aspect of nature
And they're terrified of things being outside their control. I don't think it was an accident that the Everfree Forest, the spookiest place whose mere mention can make mares quake, is named as such. They can't control nature there, and it scares them to their core.
2.) Equestria is benevolently deterministic.
>ponies are born with their special talents and it's merely a question of how long it takes them to discover their fates
>ponies in many cases name their foals based on what their future talents will be but without knowing for sure
>implying a sort of Holy Spirit that manifests through ponies' decisions such as naming their foals
Is it always hereditary such as with the Apples? Did Lyra have parents who were musicians? Were Sea Swirl's parents oceanographers or marine ecologists? But like I said originally, it's benevolent because Equestrian society is harmonious. It's a utopia in every sense of the term, and that includes my first theory.
Normally when you have a setting where everything is controlled and regulated, the problem is either overt or unveiled, but it just works for ponies.
Also, I was sure that this would get touched on at some point and thought that there would be an episode where the Mane 6 try to control the Everfree Forest only to be rebuffed. The lesson would be that you can't control everything, and it's okay to be frightened by such an idea, but you can't let it consume you and turn into obsession, hysteria, and fanaticism.

>>42292744
What do you think about Celestia and Luna before they added more alicorns? What do you extrapolate from them?

>>42289497
more to love and I can't hate that

>>42293172
It's not extrapolation in this case, but I figured that they were goddesses. The intro in the first episode reminded me of some Native American myth about the sun goddess being jealous of the moon goddess for her beauty. Only in that story, the sun sends a spider or something to kill the moon, leading to eternal day and requiring that the sun be put out of her misery too.

>>42293198
Thats a full size horse and not a pony anymore.

>Every fucking Scootaloo-fan imagines her as some pathetic homeless depressed crippled orphan kid who wants to kill herself and masturbates to Rainbow dash knowing it'll never amount to anything

Jesus christ, i mean I've kinda known this for years but are Scootafags the most unhinged suffering obsessed anons?

If any watched G5 I have to assume they all enjoy early show Misty and jerk off to her being beaten and starved by Opaline?

>>42292097
Literally everything is a paraphilia in the current year

>>42292097
Where does things like vore fit in there?

>>42290793
W too

>>42293872
Inside of something like a hydra or chimera, I guess.

>>42290793
>tfw you will never be an 8 year old colt preyed on by a pedo pony

>>42293880
He said specifically "ponies'

>>42293888
Okay.

>You have Bon-Bon make a tiny candy version of you.
>You bring it to Zecora and have her turn it into a voodoo doll.
>You have somepony eat the candy doll.
>You get a "nightmare" about being eaten by that pony.

How's that?

>>42293897
Hmm, alright seems reasonably plausible

these two have sex. it's not unhinged, but it's what i believe

>>42295118
How did it start?

>>42295118
Is it "headcanon" if it's unspoken canon?

>>42295257
Puberty.

>>42293834
I'm a scootafag and all I want is for Rainbow to adopt her. The other shit's deranged, she's had a hard enough life being Australian.

scootaloo is a boy

>>42293834
All my headcanon implied is that she's a latchkey kid, neglected at worst, I don't imagine all this shit, she watches and imitates Jackass, she's living the best life.

>>42295371
tom

>>42293834
To be fair her actual in show life is pretty shit.

>>42295378
>she watches...Jackass
She has visions of otherworldly entertainment programs?

>>42295420
>crippled, orphan, homeless, AND a schizo
Fuck man

>>42295371
That explains a lot.

>>42293834
My headcanon is that Rainbow Dash finds out her training regiment, diet, exposure to the Elements of Harmony, and flight accidents have left her infertile so she adopts Scootaloo and loves her like the foal she can't ever have.

>>42295267
And a lack of active parent figures from Granny Smith watching Apple Bloom

Anon[pony] can summon Anonymous like a stand

>>42282781 (OP)
Kirin will eat meat, if they can, but don't actively hunt or fish.

>>42293872
Poison joke has shrunk AJ.

Ponies are like the Monsters from Monsters Inc in that they have a special division devoted to crossing into Earth and taking an emotion from human beings for energy. But instead of laughter or fear, they take our friendship. This is why were all so horribly miserable.

>>42282795
That’s not unhinged. It couldn’t be more canon unless they stated it outright. You gotta try harder than that.

>>42295118
Ehh, I don’t really see it. We didn’t see any parents in that episode about AJ being a liar, and in the Great Seedling ep we see the whole Apple Family together and the kids are much younger. I could buy it if their shared grieving led them to seek comfort with each other and that ended up going somewhere, but mom and dad seem to be dead already when AJ lands Big Mac in the hospital, and those two do not have a relationship that says they fuckin’. They are not on good terms, and in fact AJ traumatizes her brother so much in that episode that it completely changed who he was. Clearly they got over it and love each other by the time we get to the start of the show, but there just seems like too much history there for anything to have happened later. I don’t think either of them would be interested. Big Macs relationship with AB as we see in Brotherhooves Social seems more conducive to something like that happening, but I don’t think that means it ever actually would.

Gotta love the porn tho.

Explosions.

>>42293834
But she's so much more interesting as a homeless, depressed, crippled orphan foal, and the show doesn't really contradict any of that until like season 9 (and it makes her parents suck so bad that she's better off as an orphan anyway).

And she only used to want to kill herself! That changed because of Applebloom and Sweetie Belle (she'd have done it if she never met them, by hanging, reasoning that if she can't even support her weight with her wings long enough to breathe, she doesn't deserve to live).

>>42284767
Oh to sleep between two apple horses...

>>42297497
I mean her parents leave at the end of the episode again too.

>>42293888
Happening to ponies included.

>>42297255
And short skirts?

>>42297255
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_EELAlqhok

>>42283943
Mind blown

>>42293872
How do you feel playing bio dungeons in games?

>>42282781 (OP)
Rainbow Dash is not an only child. Derpy is her sister, but this isn't acknowledged by their parents.

This is a closely held secret within RD's family; her parents are so invested in their superstar daughter that they're embarrassed to admit that the disabled(?) Derpy is theirs. RD goes along with the charade for her parents' sake, but continues to look out for her goofy sis.

>>42299903
No shit, I strongly suspect Dash was a premature birth, or was otherwise afflicted, and was not expected to survive long, let alone become what she did. It would explain why her parents celebrated every little achievement, no matter how miniscule.

violence against mares in acceptable.

Herds and assisted non-com.

>>42300158
Nah, she was the miracle baby that came after several losses.

Rainbow Dash dropped out of flight school to get away from her parents and moved to Ponyville with Fluttershy the very day she was legally able to.

>>42282781 (OP)
The great and powerful Trixie did 9/11

Each pony tribe has different standards for what's considered good looking in stallions. For Earth Ponies Big Mac is considered to be the ultimate hunk, but for unicorns Sunburst is the epitome of sex appeal. Rainbow Dash is the height of masculinity for pegasi.

Alicorns, either natural or ascended, are full hermaphrodites, and gender is contextual. Celestia considers herself, sexually, a stallion, and since she is in the lead position of rulership, she used to consider herself king, and is referred to in ancient, bow hidden documents, as His Majesty, King Celestius. In her marriage to Luna. , she consider herself the wife and the other her husband. Cadance also considers herself a stallion, but consider Shining the king/emperor. Only alicorns can impregnate other alicorns. Celestia is the one who sired Flurry Heart in Cadance.

>>42302915
You are a futafag, aren't you?

>>42303414
Of course he is, couldn't you tell from his retardation?

>>42303414
Futa fags are partially the reason why we have such an immense transsexual problem.

>>42302915
>a stallion, and since she is in the lead position of rulership
Horse herds are lead by a lead female.

Braeburn has ADHD

Hippogryphs are kind of like changelings.

>>42283852
Mmm, fried chickun

>>42282781 (OP)
Gallus is what you get when a stallion impregnates a Griffoness and that is why none of the Griffons want to claim him.
His existence is a source of dishonor.

>>42303414
>>42303438
>>42303495
Futas are based, and trannies like you will never be a woman.

starlight glimmer has autism

>>42304893
What kind?

>>42304899
in the middle of good autism and bad autism

>>42282781 (OP)
Changelings cannot actually transform. Changelings are just beings that have the ability to sense alternate versions of themselves across the infinite multiverse coupled with the ability to transport there. When they need to transform they find an alternate self in another timeline who happens to be in the exact same circumstances, only they exist in the form they desire to transform into. Simultaneously, that alternate changeling desires to take their form as well. With infinite timelines this very specific scenario is guarenteed to always occur. Then they transport themselves to eachothers timelines and carry out eachothers tasks as a "transformed" version of themselves. When they are finished they swap back to their original multiverse. This way there are no size limitations, or contorting of internal anatomy problems. No actual transfiguring has occurred. Plus the transformed body is real in every sense and cannot be magically detected as a fake. Also I like the idea that some changelings give up any sense of grounded reality and live their lives hopping from random universe to random universe with no care of returning "home."

>>42282835
I thought this was simply cannon

>>42304871
Worst. Bait. Ever.

Rarity gets all her recipes from Cookidoo.

>>42304871
Only two degeneracies are organized and both had an opportunity to request something from the glowies.

The dickgirl gang never heard about monkey's paw.

>>42303703
I believe it.

Fluttershy, though usually a shy and timid pony, is also proud of how large her butt is,

>>42297957
they make for easy access.

bump

Chrysalis was planning on taking Celestia as her slave/trophy/concubine after conquering Equestria in season 2. She had a deep lust for Celestia, she was the real target.

Discord is a combination of a dozen heroes of ancient Equestria, including Starswirl the Bearded. The Starswirl we see in the show is actually a clone of him created with the mirror pool, before the real one was fused into Discord.