Thread 42299293

So... how's life treating you, Nonny?

>>42299293 (OP)
2 days ago I dropped hot coffee over my thighs while I was eating and now I have a coffee and a bolognese stain on my bed that I haven't bothered to clean up because working nightshift at Home Depot moving shit around is raping my back and shoulders

>>42299318
You should spend a lot of time doing good stretching. It will actually help prevent injury. Maybe even consider yoga.

Blog threads are stupid.

>>42299293 (OP)
Hit 30 recently. It's okay.
Got nothing really worth complaining about.

Cute donk tho

>>42299293 (OP)
I want to die. Nothing i tell you will lift you so just leave me alone.

Just being annoyed with a very boring job, least got audiobooks to keep me sane.

>>42299293 (OP)
Y'know that twinkle in the eye, that gleam we're all born with? I think I lost it...

You told me all the music I liked was terrible. Then you pushed me on the ground and spit on my face.

>>42300903
Unf

>>42299293 (OP)
I'm graduating to wizardhood in a couple of months. I'm generically lonely and I'm tired of working 12 hour shifts.

I really wish I'd bought a house that hadn't turned out to have a catastrophic termite infestation because I really wanted to be out of my parents' house by now. Hopefully we can at least get it livable this year.

On the upside I'm in two different tabletop games which are going pretty well, so that's nice. I'm also slated to start running one myself in the near future.

>>42299293 (OP)
Recently graduated college, but I still feel aimless and directionless, with no idea of what to do with my life. Living with parents and severely depressed, even after months of therapy and a variety of medications, including just being off meds entirely; nothing helps or makes it worse. The only salves I have are ponies, video games, and walks in nature, but even those are temporary. I currently work a food service job, it's boring but could be worse. I truly don't understand why I'm as sad as I am.

>>42299293 (OP)
Nice ass donk.

I'm broke and at an impasse. Not really sure where I should go.

>>42299293 (OP)
Everything’s good. Looks like it’ll rain tomorrow after all the hot as shit weather that I’ve had for the past few days. I don’t even care that I’ll have to work in it. I’m just glad I won’t sweating my ass off.

>>42299293 (OP)
Adult life is hard. I want to go back to 2012 to play Minecraft and watch My Little Pony with my little brother

My birthday’s coming up and I ordered picrel in used condition, along with chinesium merch.
And I have a job (again) this year doing charity door to door donations.
If all goes well I’ll learn sales skills and get my merch.

>>42299293 (OP)
>drinking every day when my head starts to hurt in the afternoon
>sometimes i start early and drink through the day
>the days blended together long ago
>life is good

>>42301591
>the days blended together long ago
Wild
>life is good
Never heard of someone whose life was improved by drinking

>>42301603
>Never heard of someone whose life was improved by drinking
have you literally ever drank like ever?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8yGvmGtIn8

>>42301640
>have you literally ever drank like ever?
Yes. I only stopped when my taste buds got burnt and I couldn't enjoy the sheer taste of wine or beer anymore. But I was the kind of nostalgic drunk who just went back and forth over the memories of his teenage years. Fun at times but not an improvement over my life.

>>42299293 (OP)
It's actually going ok. Still have some bad days every now and then, but they dont compare to what they used to be.
The old fears are slowly receding.

>>42299293 (OP)
I love these somber donks candel has been putting out. Very broody.

>>42299293 (OP)
Had some hard times, rediscovered my love for art and literature, started drawing somber donks, got a job. Life's probably better than it's ever been, but I've still got issues to push through.

>>42302060
Somber music horses are always great.

>>42299293 (OP)
When I was young I used to laugh at my friends who said they were gonna blow their brains out when they hit 50. Now I finally understand what they meant.

Life is completely meaningless if you don't have children as an adult. Every "fun" thing there is to do in life is over at that age.

>>42299293 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqfJcwEQQm4

>>42302414
skill issue

>>42299318
you disgust me

>>42299293 (OP)
It's been good, now give me dat ass!

>>42299318
SHAME ON THIS ANON

I've managed a total of 8 hours of sleep this week. I'm not doing well.

There's a good chance you want a lot of space between you and salt water.

>>42303941
Why?

>>42303952
Schizo who believes a super tsunami is going to flood most of the world. Probably building his own Ark of Noah in his garage.

>>42304123
In my ark there will be two plushies of every pony

>>42304131
Based

>>42299293 (OP)
Could be far worse. I have a decently comfy job working for my state, I'm mostly an office rat, but I am starting to get on the job I.T. training, so I'm really hoping that pans out. I don't really have any overhead in life so it leaves me with more disposable income which is nice. I go through 'waves' for my hobbies, and interests. I only really got back into mlp a few months ago when I got bored, and opted to jump back on FIMfiction for some nostalgic reading. I find it really odd how mlp holds such a vice grip on me. Sometimes I'll go years without thinking about about it even once, but every now and then I become hyper obsessed with it all over again. I never even finished the show, my fascination seems to solely depend on the community, and its creations. I think I just really like the idea of sentient ponies.

>>42299293 (OP)
better than most people.
Glad my interest for horses came back a few years ago. It's nice to have something you believe in that pushes you to improve yourself.

>>42301503
It happens. So long as you keep your mares by your side, you'll be able to push through.

The world would be better if all happy people dropped dead

>>42304181
It wouldn't be better, but I would feel vindicated at least.

>>42299293 (OP)
I have gotten drunk every day this week.
How do you think life's treating me?

>>42304214
I've been jacking off every day straight for several months now.

Quitting SSRIs does things to a man.

>>42304238
Why did you reply to my post?

>>42304251
not that anon, but you had it coming. Simple as.

>>42304315
>coming
Huh huh huh. "Coming", uh huh huh huh.

>>42304315
Why? Explain it to me.

>>42304365
Obviously if you're drinking every day, then you must have had it coming. Whatever "it" is that led to such drinking habits.
Or, perhaps, they're fucking with you.

>>42304390
>Obviously if you're drinking every day, then you must have had it coming. Whatever "it" is that led to such drinking habits.
You're not wrong. I'm not allowed to have nice things, after all.

>>42304365
I think the obvious answer is drinking and masturbation are two sides of the same coin. The proof is in the pudding as they say.

>>42304403
It's rare that anyone is allowed to have nice things. Rarer still to recognize what nice things you have and actually feel good about them. The grass is always greener, one man's trash, you don't know what you have until it's gone. Timeless sayings, and yet we still can't learn, can we?

>>42304411
>drinking and masturbation are two sides of the same coin.
What? How?

>>42299293 (OP)
havent had a ton going on, things have been realaxed for the most part. my main form of income is fixing and reselling ewaste on facebook. it aint much but its honest work.

>>42304415
Physical vices that help you manufacture the happy chemicals. The method is different, but the goal is the same: wanting to lose yourself in something that's guaranteed to keep you distracted and happy for a little while. Having abused both, I personally lean towards booze.

>>42304415
They're both hedonistic pleasures that can be addicting.

You have no NEED to drink, yet you do it every day.

>>42304433
>>42304436
I resent these statements.

>>42304442
That's because you know they're true.

>>42304433
I remember reading or seeing somewhere that the creator of Requiem for a Dream was focused on the idea of "what is a drug?". The perspective they settled on was that a drug is anything one uses to forget and ignore the problems in their life. Temporarily relief can be a good thing, but often people overuse that relief, and allow their problems to grow in the shadows, averting their eyes due to an unwillingness to face the pain as it comes. Put it off until later. Pretend it doesn't exist. But it doesn't go away, it just grows while you're turned around, and eventually it swallows you.
Neat stuff. The idea translates to many things, not just substances, which was the point. Jerking off too much can be a drug. It depends on how much you do it and why.

Have you heard about a 100' monster wave?

>>42304450
Yes, schizoanon, you told us before.

>>42304415
Don't listen to >>42304433 or >>42304436
Those two are idiots. My original point was that pudding similar to semen and hooch all have some form of liquids in them. Thus they are all the same thing. You should feel kinship with the gooner as you are a sloshed toaster.

>>42304496
God, you're so autistic. I find that really attractive. Let's kiss.

>>42301603
i am not the anon but two big shots of vodka for breakfast really do make people way more bearable through out your day up untill lunch

>>42299293 (OP)
my life is going well but i feel like shit, i put in my college aplication, got my drivers license, but being fucking home for 4 months is hell, i feel like absolute shit rotting here, not doing anything of substance yet i can not bringmyself to do anything productive, why do i feel like shit when i have it this good i do not understand

>>42304520
See >>42304412
Also, being a neet is a genuinely miserable experience. Look into developing a hobby, if you don't have one. If you do have one, put more effort into it (you did mention issues with being productive).

>>42304520
Dependent on who you are, you may feel this way due to feeling like your stuck in a routine. Try something different each day, go for a walk, hit the gym, try new foods. Anything to break the monotony.

>>42304505
Sadly I am not artistic. Our relationship will be one built off of lies, and surely lead to disastrous ruin
:(

>>42304528
>>42304532
thank you for the advice anons

effort has always been a hard thing to achieve for me, but recently i have gotten in to crunching through fallout equestria project horizons, and i have been doing some cooking, went on a trip with friends, went on a 40km walk with friends, even helped my neighbor with an engine rebuild, but fuck me man, the second these things are over the emptiness prevails

>>42304547
It helps if your hobbies are productive. Note that most of the enjoyable things you listed involve doing or creating something. Building an engine. Cooking. Reading is consumptive, but it at least exercises your brain, perhaps piques some ideas of your own that you could put to paper.
If most of your free time is consumed by things like video games or watching videos, then there will be that emptiness. That sort of consumption is helpful, even necessary sometimes, but if it's the majority of your life then you will likely not feel fulfilled. There are productive and consumptive habits and hobbies, and the productive ones are the ones that give meaning.

>>42304547
Genuinely sounds like you need a new hobby or passion to become truly absorbed in. Also as gay as it sounds you need to work. I find that having a good work-life balance really makes me appreciate my free time, and makes me generally more excited for leisure type activities. While you're still applying for positions in your field, I'd recommend looking for part time work elsewhere. I feel like people in general aren't equipped for constant downtime, nor for constant work mind you. It seems like a lot of these feelings are derived from too much free time.

>>42304567
I've seen it put pretty potently recently, that if you kill boredom, you also kill wonder. If you have too much free time, you fill it with all of the free dopamine that this modern world throws at you, and you cease to be creative or productive. Being bored at work is when the ideas churn, and you come home with the passion to DO something with that time. Of course, if you work too much, then you're too exhausted to put that passion to use, and then you're depressed for a different reason. Balancing work and life is important there.

>>42304553
>Project Horizons
>exercises your brain

>>42304576
Yes, it exercises your brain in the sense that you go "why the fuck did they write this" and you imagine what should have been written instead. It's the first step towards becoming a writer yourself!

>>42304571
Absolutely, and very well put. While I'm in the office I find myself constantly day dreaming about what stories I want to write, table top games I want to dm, all manner of things I want to put my mind to, even if they're more activity than hobby like reading. It makes my actual time off very enjoyable. The huge key to success is not just a job that doesn't work you to the bone, but one where you don't mind showing up to day-in-day-out. Finding that balance can be difficult, but it exists. I found that by being myself, and treating my workspace like a hangout session with my coworkers while still accomplishing my responsibilities made my overall life so much happier.

>>42301439
>Permanent sadness or depressed feeling.
>Focus on fantasy or fantasy creatures.
>Feel aimless.
You might be schizoid.

>>42304587
In fairness, a lot of the writing decisions start to make sense when you remember that the author was a high school teacher who ended up getting fired after his fic depicting underage romance got brought to light.

>>42304614
Now there's some interesting lore... Really puts it into perspective why PH started off strong but did a systemic shift into shit

>>42304614
>The author was a high school teacher who ended up getting fired after his fic depicting underage romance got brought to light
What? Wait, wasn't Blackjack lie 20s to 30s? Or was a side character?
Also, why is youngster love bad? I remember when I modded the childs back to the base game, and I killed them every time they stole something from me (the OG games, before 3).

>>42304520
>being fucking home for 4 months is hell, i feel like absolute shit rotting here, not doing anything of substance yet i can not bringmyself to do anything productive
This. I recently got my degree, but no longer enjoy what I imagined doing for a living. In fact I grew to hate it immensely. Now here I stand, afraid to admit to myself and loved ones that I wasted my best years, afraid to break all expectations they have of Mr. Prodigy. Some old addictions have returned, the drive to pursue my hobbies have disappeared and I've lost all ambition.

>>42305256
Either find a way to rekindle it, or be honest with everyone. Enter a more self-centered mindset and solely focus on what makes you happy. I used to be in the same boat, but with age came natural confidence. I've reached a point where I lost a lot of vanity for most things that aren't inherently beneficial to me including people. Allow me to say that this revelation of sorts has made my life an endless breeze. I do what I want, when I want regardless of others' opinions.

>>42304123
>>42304466
definitely from twitter.

>>42299293 (OP)
Shitty because there's no Octavia sitting on my face.

the people on wizchan seem more mentally sane than you lot.
I wish everyone can find the motivation to get their life in order. 8 hours sleep is absolutely non-negotiable.
>>42305256 guess what, most people hate their job. You now have the massive advantage of a chance at a job that actually pays well and doesn't ruin your health. And by getting a degree you have proven to be able to do what most cannot.

>>42299293 (OP)
Expensive horse job. Never will be satisfied though.

>>42299293 (OP)
Summer heat is killing me.
My job is killing me.
Lost faith in humanity.
I feel my body and mind deteriorating by the day.

>>42305575
Can I have the summer heat atleast?

>>42305641
Yes please, take it away from me.

Boop

>>42305590
It's still more interesting and engaging conversation than the hundreds of slide threads. Let people have real conversations, nerd.

>>42302414
That's the result of lack of ambition. Set some goals for yourself. There's probably some things that need to be done in this world that need someone like you to get them done right.

>>42299293 (OP)
I lost faith in Equestria ever being real.
Got married and have two kids now.

Convention time!

>>42299293 (OP)
Had to move back in with my parents due to landlord forcing me to move out for something my roommate did.
I want to fucking leave but all the jobs around here take months to respond back so it's hell on earth. My mother invades my space constantly.

>>42308310
Similar thing happened to me expect instead of renting an entire apartment/house we were renting two rooms inside of a house, each with a private bathroom. This absolutely saved my security deposit since all of the train wreck areas in the house were in his areas. As a side note you'll never understand how lacking your patience is when dealing with someone with genuine mental illness. Having a roommate with Bi-polar disorder and manic depression got obnoxious very quickly. There's only so many times you can listen to a grown man talk about ending it all over the most trivial roadblocks in life before you start wanting them to just get it over with already.

>>42299293 (OP)
Feels like ive just been sleepwalking for the past 6 years of my life

>>42299293 (OP)
Just days still being very samey and boring, started having sleeping issues once more.

>>42299293 (OP)
kinda going somewhat better

still paranoid about stuff and fucking up being a decent human being to those that care about me/I care about
still don't have a new job and the one I'm at is getting more difficult every day, can't even properly close up the store anymore
I'm dead beat tired all the time, have no energy to do laundry or other chores
still losing money out the ass

but I'm more appreciative of people I feel
I feel a little bit better about myself
I'm not constantly talking down to myself and feel kind of good at the end of most days
it feels like there's light somewhere and I'm working my way on finding it
I want to do good for others and really find a way to help myself out too

so I'm getting there

>>42308393
>There's only so many times you can listen to a grown man talk about ending it all over the most trivial roadblocks in life before you start wanting them to just get it over with already.
I wonder if this is how people view me. I dont talk about killing myself or have bipolar, but it makes me wonder.

My job claims to care about extremely disadvantaged people but it continues to bring more in while being understaffed and not having any medical or educational training. Every day I am reminded of this moral line that keeps being crossed, and I'm not even paid decently for the work or treated like a person who tries to do right by others. I'm constantly berated for asking clarifying questions when given orders, or taking initiative when there's ambiguity. I'm threatened by both my administrator and the CEO herself on a regular basis, and said CEO openly threatens to fire and replace almost all the employees over radio on a regular basis as well. They're taking money from my paycheck each week over an extremely minor bumper-scratching accident months ago, which I'm told is illegal, and they don't even plan on repairing the bumper, which I know because they did this with the guy before me and several other drivers. I can't reasonably quit because this is the only job I could get in several months. I can't move out until around Mare Fair because I don't have the money to rent anywhere. I can move in with a friend in September but that's months down the line.

I want to hurt my boss, dearly, when I leave this place. I want to leave her not only without me but without several employees, without notice, so she can know what it's like to be overburdened and overworked for shit pay. I have nothing positive to say about the last several months except that they're in the past and one of these days I'll be gone. From work, from this state, from my family, from everyone in my life. And ideally away from here. If I didn't plan for half a year to go to MF at least once, I would have cancelled my booking weeks ago. I'm increasingly dreading sharing a space with you people and I don't even feel like there's anything I could get out of going. But I've already booked it and going back on it would just make me a quitter again.

>>42309739
Damn chief, ya working at Amazon or something?

>>42310131
It's an """"""adult day program."""""" Nobody has medical or educational training. Everyone works for minimum wage. Everyone has legal liability hanging over them for absolutely no compensation.

>>42308393
For me, it was someone with schizophrenia. The scariest thing about it was that I agreed with him on like 90% of topics, but i'm not in that age bracket to have schizophrenia (yet) i'm just 24 and he just reached 30 a few days ago.
He's finally on antipsychotics so I would rather be back with him than with my mother

>>42310131
not him but as someone who does work for the inventors of the wagecage, I thought I had it bad but I've never gone though anything >>42309739 has. the work absolutely sucks but no one's ever yelled at me, probably because I'm not a slacker, I make over minimum wage, and it's the reason I've been able to go to cons. while not the greatest place to be, he unironically would be better off where I am.

>>42310190
>he unironically would be better off where I am
Guess I'll die