Thread 42352311

>>42352311 (OP)
"Awww thanks Twi, that's really sweet of you."
>jumps into a woodchipper

>>42352311 (OP)
I never asked for this.

>>42352320
>Ponyville is now infested with dozens of tiny Anons

>>42352311 (OP)
Wow, thanks Twilight.
Now I can... masturbate and play video games forever... yay...

>>42352311 (OP)
Gotta love these low effort twilight slide threads. Janny you have earned your pay, neigh you deserve to have it tripled.

Free sex and cuddles with Purplesmart forever? Who the fuck would turn that down?

>>42352311 (OP)
>immune to pain
Then how am I supposed to engage in sadomasochism with fluttershy?
>immune to age
How am I supposed to grow old with fluttershy?
>immune to tissue distruction
Well okay I can't complain about that one actually, I do like having my foreskin grow back.

>>42352337
Better than eqg.

>>42352335
This is the most realistic answer lmao, anons here would find an eternity alive boring as fuck or torture, even with some weekly sex from Twi. No way you can go an eternity withour going insane or having like 100 mid life crisis with one of them ending up with you becoming a criminal and thrown into the bottom of the ocean.

>>42352311 (OP)
“Are you sure about this? We’ve only been on two dates so far.”

>>42352337
i whole heartedly wish pain and suffering to the jannie that reads my post
for the standards that you and yours abide and uphold without passion i wish agony everlasting upon your reached and pitiful existence
in the hopes that you extinguish your consciousness and snuff yourself out of this mortal coil as soon as humanly possible

>>42352355
I actually feel the opposite.
General dissapointment comes from mortality and realization everything I do will be for naught as I will die.
Immortality and eternal youth are literally the best motivation for self improvement because that way everything you do actually matters long term and you will live to harvest the fruit of your efforts.
You will live at your constant prime, and no aging will ever invalidate your achievements by crushing you - you can keep getting as ripped as you want and train in everything you ever want.
Devoting your life to scholarship and invention now makes sense, you can actually change the world and improve it for yourself and your effort matters.
You can even start a nation and get so amazing at politics you will keep your ponies happy as you play crusader kings irl.
And throughout it all your favourite soul bonded mare will be with you, competent as just as attractive as the day she made you hers, you're a team that shares the vision, and you both shape wonders into existence with your combined work.
It's perfect.
>But you will get bored of everything
Perhaps, but I also have eternity to get trough it and my intelligent mare to help me find something new to put my mind towards, as well as a worthy purpose.
There is no downside to this.

>>42352337
>>42352375
take your meds

>>42352378
You're going to have to watch everything get destroyed when the world eventually ends.

>>42352378
More important to me is immortality removes cost-benefit analyses from my decision making. Without time as a constraint I have the freedom to make choices not on necessity, but on desire. With immortality I can finally live life the way I want to, rather than how I have been needing to.

>>42352337
>"Yes yes, we all hate jannies here."
>"But as the headmaster of this board, I believe that hard work should be rewarded, and our lovely jannies have been working ever so hard to defend eqg threads with their blood, sweat and tears."
>And in the spirit of fairness, I am going to increase our jannies' hourly wage for every good piece of g5 media."
>"ZERO DOLLARS!"

>>42352311 (OP)
>Not immune to crippling depression
You had one job

>>42352389
Janny your waifu is shit

>>42352404
Honestly, a couple of painless suicides is probably a good way to cure depression, I'd try it

>>42352414
Serious question, do you actually believe every Twifag on the board is this janny of yours?

>>42352426
>do you actually believe every Twifag on the board is this janny of yours?
Nah that'd be ridiculous.
He believes that everyone who doesn't like g5 is this janny of his.

>>42352326
Holy kek

>>42352311 (OP)
Thanks Twily!

>>42352338
a faggot there's your answer

>>42352433
>what, still here?
>hand it over
>that thing
>your snowpity
>for my lady's [?]

>>42352326
WRITEFAGS, JOT THIS DOWN!!!

>>42352378
The only realistic part of your post is becoming ripped, the rest is completely retarded ego talk. if you aren't already a genius furthering science you sure as hell won't become a genius even with an eternity of education (that you also won't enjoy because right now you are not a genius who enjoys it). Neither would you be good at politics, right now you would already be at least a city mayor if you were any good at it.

Why do retards think that if given eternal youth they would become that super genius caveman from dc comics? Not at all, the best you can hope for is becoming rich by saving enough money through some generations and looking handsome, but if you aren't already anything important or impressive RIGHT NOW AT YOUR PEAK, YOUR BRAIN PEAKS IN YOUR 20s, then you are not gonna become a giga chad lex luthor even with a million years of prep time

A more realistic goal would be becoming so good at flirting with horses that you convince Twilight to allow you a harem, just to break up the boredom of you both. No fucking way you become a genius or a politician, like zoomers say, you are not "him".
>>42352396
This is a good answer.

>>42352416
It would most likely make you more insane.

>>42352492
Probably, but also imagine ragdolling down a steep mountain while feeling no pain at all, that has to be an interesting experience

>>42352326
>Too Many Pinkies but instead of FUN they all shout RAPE

>>42352507
You just reminded me about the unreasonable amount of time I spent doing things like that in gmod sandbox and GTA IV.

>>42352311 (OP)
Neat. What's the plan for the sun's farewell party? I think we should jumpstart a new sun afterwards, Equestria would get kinda cold otherwise.
>>42352355
Mid life crises aren't real. People didn't have them back when they could just make up a new name and enroll in some university pretending to be a teenager. The only real crisis here is mass surveillance, and even that is overselled as fuck. I'm not sure about Equestria, but f I suddenly get immortal here on Earth, first thing I'd do is make a new face and fake papers and spend the next twenty years learning some completely new craft. Oh boy, it'd be so exciting!

>>42352311 (OP)
I am but im going with Celestia and Luna instead

>>42352326
promiscuous little bastards have a thing for "spelunking", the mares get no peace even when sleeping

>>42352490
You're not born good at anything, anon.
Everything else you can become interested in and grind.
Nobody said anything about becoming a genius the moment you get immortality.
All that is said is you get resource and long term purpose that actually means something. Self improvement is a thing, you know.
Meing mortal won't make you a genius either, but hard work will make you good at anything given time and effort, and with immortality you have infinite time and you remove one of the factors that kills your desire to put in effort.
>>42352395
I will be content by that time and will hug my immortal waifu as we meet the end of the universe together. Perhaps we will be able to preserve what matters to us by that time.

>>42352841
You are going to exist after the universe ends though, how are you going to be content when there is nothing left?

>>42352955
I will be with my immortal waifu, and, considering we had basically an eternity to master magic, we could very well live in a pocket dimention amazing cultivation simulator style.

>>42352649
>cave divers when they see a ponut

>>42352378
This is the same of "if you are Superman" or any equivalent. I would probably fuck off and relax. I've went on excursions in the woods camping for a few days. Never went more than a week, but when I'm out i dont use my phone unless there's an emergency. I get people in the city or suburbs dont get this kind of access, but I think I can live being immortal. Biggest struggle would be seeing loved ones pass while i outlive, but that is already a part of regular life.

You'd go insane if you were so immortal that you'd outlive the death of celestial bodies.

>>42353558
I was thinking horsepussy more so but you do you

>>42353558
How does he get out?

>>42355039
He doesn't. Haven't you seen any of those videos where cave divers die because they got stuck in place in some tiny crevice?

>>42352311 (OP)
That's horrifying. Watching the death of the universe is scarier than my own.

>>42352355
You lack imagination. It would take me millenia to run out of things to do

>>42352378
I cannot agree more.
And it isn't just that it all leads to death.
There's also the
>if this doesn't pan out it'll have been a waste of time
With immortality there's no concept of wasted time. You have more.

>>42355161
if that old series of greens is anything to go by you can still have void sex with celestia after the black holes evaporate
https://poneb.in/QdtXWds0

>>42352490
>YOUR BRAIN PEAKS IN YOUR 20s
As an old fart I can tell you that this is only partially true.

Computing power? Yes.
But with age comes experience and wisdom. I can do some things better and some things worse.

>>42352378
The other thing is everyone would achieve self actualization. You get to try everything. Find your niche and purpose. Most go through life with no sense of purpose. And then death finds them before they find a purpose. It's really sad. Most who find their place do it by accident.

With immortality you could fail at everything and still manage to find your thing. Without it you have a few decades to try things and hope you stumble across it before ending up invalid.

>>42355174
>this doesn't pan out it'll have been a waste of time
I can't tell you how many things I've never tried because of this.

>>42352311 (OP)
>immune to pain
Everyone is talking about immortality and I'm here thinking this is the thing that's gonna be a hard pass.

>>42355198
>masochist anon spends his immortality trying to find a way to reactivate his pain receptors so he can finally live out his fantasies with a dominatrix mare

>>42355198
why? like she said you can regenerate lost tissue

>>42352339
Bad news, anon, you only got these immunities because fluttershy sacrificed herself

>>42352311 (OP)

>ADHD pony

Checks out Anon

>>42352355
Those turtles seem to handle it well. I'm much smarter than a turtle, and I'd be much more immortal. so I expect i'd be much better off.

>>42355317
Then maybe it won’t be so bad if it means I get to eat endless amounts of pizza and fight crime.

>>42352955
>You are going to exist after the universe ends though
Nonsense. You wouldn't die, but, like a star, you would no longer be. Logically, strictly speaking, the spell would make you a sort of projection of a non-living thing. You'd be like a stand of something inorganic.
>>42355323
They're immortal?

>>42355275
Okay...and now for the actual bad news?

>>42355350
>Logically, strictly speaking, the spell would make you a sort of projection of a non-living thing. You'd be like a stand of something inorganic.
How is this the case? The spell specifies that you are immortal and can regenerate any lost tissue. This sounds very organic, at least in the sense that you are made of flesh.

>>42355434
>sitting on a lifeless world after heat death of universe
Yeah no thank you

>>42352311 (OP)
>lost tissue
Why am i losing tissue this is scary

>>42355491
you jack off too much, that's why

>>42352311 (OP)
>Now I can kiss Celestia's ponut every day until the end of time
Thank you Twilight. You could even join me if you wanted to.

>>42355350
Who are “those turtles”, then?

>>42355587
The Zond 5 turtles who sat around doing nothing floating around the moon for 39 days

>>42355422
It was bad news for any anon who is gay enough to like fluttershy, it is good news for the rest of us, sorry for the misunderstanding.

>>42355748
>Liking the most feminine pony is gay

>>42355787
>Most feminine pony
Rarity.

>>42355789
Fluttershy embodies the positive aspects of femininity, while Rarity embodies the negative aspects

I would like to spend an eternity exploring the stars with my wife, yes, I would

>>42352311 (OP)
Oh wow, neat! Thanks, Twi! I can't wait to tell Luna all about it.

>>42352355
I think immortality would be perfect for people with executive function disorder. It takes me years to get the most simple of tasks done.

>>42355434
Organic peojection of inorganic object. You're essance and eperince of pain is transfered to an inorganic object, while the rest of your experince stays with your body as is. You'd be flesh but not matter. Your 'stability' would be tied to the object (like an image to a projector). I'm saying you could no longer die, but you could be turned off. I guess it could be a sort of quantum immortality thing, or simple biological immortality. As an aside, she wouldn't outlast Equestria. OP seems to mean "immunitable" more than "immortal", which is stupid.
>>42355587
Some turtles are biologically immortal.
>>42355599
I wish i was cool enough to have been referfing to that.

>>42355792
>positive
What, fucking a chaos beast?

>>42356068
>fucking a chaos beast
Non-canon
Flutters embodies the feminine virtues of nurturing, kindness, meekness, selflessness
Rarity embodies the feminine vices of vanity, jealousy, covetousness (ironically)

>>42356171
>covetousness
O rly?

When.
>inb4 Tom, because Fluttershy was a bigger cunt that day.

>>42356176
>>covetousness
>O rly?
Ya rly, see the episode where Spike learns he can get people to give him gifts by saying it's his birthday, it opens with Rarity coveting his prized gem.

>>42355748
Fluttershy is the straightest thing, not gay.

The horse stink of an eternal Twilight

>>42355748
twily is so cute

>>42352311 (OP)
>My Goddess, I could watch a thousand universes burn in and out of existence with you by my side as easily as a mortal watches the sun rise. I am not happy. I'm ecstatic. If you were the last thing on my mind before I died, I would die happy, and while I live the very mention of you motivates me to thrival. My star, my moon, my Twilight. I'd die for you and live for you. You drive wild.