Thread 42516662

Previous thread >>42512451


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They made me work a double shift because the dumb motherfuckers who do inventory can't count past ten and I have to do more in 12 hours, kinda wanna jump off a bridge rn.

Anyway here's some horse words.

=Familia 4=

>You wiggle your toes in the soft sand as you walk along the simple path up the dune hill.
>Between your legs is a blur of action, your girls barely able to contain themselves. At least, one of them was.
>”IthinkIhearitraceyou!” Celestia shouts, bolting off to the top of the hill.
>”Tiiiaaaaaa!” Luna cries as she gallops after.
“Girls! Stay where I can see you!” you shout.
>”Okaaaay!”
>”Yes daddy!”
>You hike your bag up further on your back and hurry along. The top of the dune offers a spectacular view of the gentle waves of the ocean crashing gently along the shore. Down the miles of untouched beach and around to a small peninsula, you spotted rock formations and caves along easy cliff sides.
>The girls, even little Luna who’d grown more restrained than her sister in the years, stood in awe.
>”It’s so big!” Celestia exclaims.
>”We did not think it t’would be so…wow…” Luna says.
>You chuckle to yourself and walk past them, unwedging the umbrella you’d made from your pack and digging it into the ground.
>”What’s that for, daddy?” Celestia asks as she looks the device over. You expand the umbrella from the pole with a FWUMP. Celestia jumps back in shock and kicks her forelegs before she falls on her butt.
>Luna and you both share a laugh while Celestia puffs her cheeks up and pouts.
“Hehe…sorry sweetheart.” You say kneeling down to her level. “As for your question, can you tell me what the temperature is?”
>Celestia blinks once. “Hot?”
“Very, and you know why, don’t you?”
>Celestia points up at the sun in the sky.
“You got it.”
>Your partner’d been telling you via letter what the girls were meant to do, so you’d started basic astrology with them.
>You unfurl a towel along the sand and take a seat on it with your bag.
“So this umbrella is to make shade to keep us cool, understand?
>Celestia and Luna both look up at the shape of the umbrella itself, you see Luna mouthing out the word and chewing it over

>>42516672
“But the other way is right over there.” You say.
>The girls turn and look to the ocean and at least one of their faces lights up like the sun on a snowy mountain.
>”CAN WE FOR REAL?!” Celestia asks.
>”Is it safe…?” Luna asks.
“You can play in it as long as you want and yes, it is perfectly safe. Just don’t go out too far and stay where I can see you, okay?”
>Celestia zips over to you faster than you can blink and hugs you. “Thisisthebestdaddythankyou!” she gets out before rushing off in her little pink swimsuit to the water.
>Luna backs away from the cloud of sand her sister kicked up and nervously rubs her hooves together against her little blue suit. She sometimes got nervous when she was being looked at.
>”I’m uhm…I sh-shall-“
“Have fun, sweetheart.”
>She blinks in surprise and hides her face behind her hair. “Yes, thank you papa…”
>You lean back onto your hands and watch the girls in the water. Celestia was having the time of her life, leaping over the small shin-high waves and bucking the ones that came up to her. A particularly large wave approached her and the little filly quickly learned how to brace herself for a wave crash, albeit only after she was thoroughly soaked by it and spitting water out.
>”It tastes like snot!” she cried.
“That’s the salt-water, hun!”
>”You would know that if you read papa’s books.” Luna said letting the water roll over her fetlocks.
>”I ready!” Celestia shouts.
>Oh no.
“Girls. No fighting.” You say.
>”Yes sir…” the two fillies say in unison.
>Celestia leaves the water and rushes over to you, tugging your arm and giving you her sparkling eyes. “Daddy! Come on! Let’s play!”
>You laugh and let yourself get pulled up, grabbing a toy ball from your bag.
“Alright, alright…watch for jellyfish!”

>>42516675
“Up high!” you say.
>You fling your arm up and toss the ball high into the sky so it frames perfectly in the sun.
>Celestia shoots up from your legs into the air and snatches the ball out of the air in her mouth. She extends her wings and rides along the costal air currents, drifting down to the water slowly and safely.
“Ooop!”
>You sidestep a bit and position yourself to catch Celestia in your arms. The little filly giggles as you hug her to you and pet her mane.
>In the time since you took the girls in, you had faced many tough days, but you always enjoyed your time with Celestia. Perhaps it was due to her slight advantage in age or simply her sunny disposition, but the two of you simply connected.
>That wasn’t to say you didn’t love Luna as well, but you were personally fearful you didn’t know how to handle her. In the years as she grew, she had become more reserved and inquisitive as time had gone on. You were never the cleverest sort and sometimes you felt you were talking to someone twice your age, not nearly a third it. You had snuck into her room at night sometimes to read from her books just so you could engage with her, but Luna seemed content to manage herself most times, it seemed, and you wanted to give her space.
>Speaking of, you look away from Celestia for a moment to keep your eye on Lu-
>No.
>You whip your head back to your umbrella and all along the beach as the icy grip of terror wraps itself around your stomach.
“No…no!”
>You run onto the beach and set Celestia down near the umbrella, looking over the dunes.
“Luna!...LUNA!”
>Celestia pulls her wings close and steps back a bit. “Daddy, you’re scaring me…”
“Honey, stay at the umbrella and DON’T MOVE from it, okay? Don’t leave the shade.”
>”O-okay!”
>You kiss her on the head and then run off down the beach, calling Luna’s name.

>>42516677
“Luna…LUNA!” You shout with your hands cupped around your mouth.
“COME ON, BLUEBERRY! ANSWER ME!”
>You turn your head back towards your campsite silhouetted against the setting sun for the tenth time to make sure it was still there. Celestia’s shadow is stretched against the sand and you see her give a tentative wave.
>How could you lose her?
>She was more than your charge or your ward by now, she was one of your little girls. She was the one who you had to coax out of and into bed each night but loved her baths and called you papa. Her favorite food was spaghetti and her favorite color was purple. She was your littlest girl and if she was hurt you’d-
“LUUUUUNNNNNNAAAAAA!” you cry out again until your voice gives out.
>You pant on the top of the rock you stood on, nothing but the sound of your breath, the ocean, and seagulls in your ears.
>Along with a faint, echo-y “Whaaaaaat?” from below.
>Your head jerks up and you run to the edge of the cliff. You lay on the grass and look into the mouth of the cave who’s ceiling made the hill you stood on.
“LUNA?!”
>”Papa?” you head from the cave.

>>42516682
“LUNA WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”
>”I am fine, Papa. Is something the matter?”
“STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!”
>You push yourself to your feet and haul ass down the hill in record time. The cave mouth was about as tall as your house and the bottom of its lip was partially submerged in water, you dash through it and onto the rocks inside, descending deeper into the cave. Over the tongue of the cave mouth, you spot a cobalt glow along a flat portion of rock.
“LUNA!”
>”Papa! Come look what I have found!”
>You run up to her and begin looking her over. No cuts or bruises or scuffmarks anywhere while she illuminated the ponds in the floor.
>”These tidal pools create a small ecosystem in this cave totally devoid of sunlight! Look at the little fishies with their big eyes to see in the dark!”
>Science could wait. You kneel down and scoop her up.
“Luna I was worried sick!”
>”Papa! The fieshes!”
“Where WERE you, little filly? You can’t just go wandering off like that!”
>”But papa-!”
“No buts! You can’t go out of my sight like that Luna, not ever.”
>Luna hangs her head and casts her eyes down. “Yes papa…”

>>42516684
>Once you got back to the umbrella, you decided it was time to head home.
>Celestia was exhausted from all the commotion, so she took refuge in your backpack and nodded off.
>Luna meanwhile trots alongside you, still looking down at the ground.
>The silence as you walked home was deafening.
>You sigh.
“Luna, I’m not mad at you…”
>”Thou certainly sounded it…” she whines.
“Papa was scared, Lulu. You weren’t there when I looked over and that scared me a lot.”
>”We were only in the cave…you could have seen us go in…”
“But I didn’t, Luna.”
>”Because though were busy playing with Celestia.”
>That stung you more than you thought. You barely noticed the time melt away when you were playing with Celestia. How much time was there between when you looked at Luna? How early did she even leave? What did you miss with one daughter because you were so engrossed with the other?
“…I’m sorry, sweety. Papa messed up.”
>Luna kicks a rock at her feet. “…We are sorry for worrying you. Next time we will tell your with all due haste.”
“Just promise me you’ll ask for permission, Lulu. And I promise that I’ll never let Celestia have so much of my attention that I miss something as important as you again, okay?”
>Luna nod.
“I love you, little moon.”
>”I love you, too, papa…” she says, nuzzling along your leg.
>You bend down and pick her up, holding her under one arm as you begin to reach the trees by your home.
“Celestia is asleep, how about we have our time and you tell me about the fishes?”
>Luna beams a smile to rival her sisters’ “They were so interesting! They have bigger eyes to see in the dark, and the plants produce their own light in the shadows…”
>You smile and walk along the path home, giving Luna her special kind of attention.

>>42516685
I'll be around.
You don't hate your job enough.

When I get to being Anonymus In Equestria, I'm going to speak entirely in movie references the ponies wont get.

>>42516672
Don't feel bad, I swear it feels like you can't go two hours without things getting slid to death. I'm constantly questioning how some of the retards I work with manage to survive. Can't even remember something as simple as "press WHITE BUTTON to start, press BLACK BUTTON to stop" without coming to double-check with me at least twice a week. Can't do basic addition, and I'm not talking about shit like 782729+811298 that you'd want some paper for, they're confused by double-digit sums. Then AFTER they waste my time, only then do they say "Oh I could use my phone calculator!" AND THEN THEY FUCK UP THE INPUT THERE TOO, BTW. REPEATEDLY. Another good one is leads from other departments coming and asking me what the fuck their product codes are, or how they're supposed to process something they handle every two weeks. Motherfuckers, you've been working here 5+ years longer than I have, and this isn't even my section. Why don't you know this shit by now?

>>42516977
My job has to tell people now to crawl into the trash comlactor in training. Three times

>>42517257
That sounds more like an opportunity to filter out unfit new hires to me.

reposting old green to get us off of life support

>Four hours past the estimated time of arrival…
>Where could he be?
>Your exhaustion was beset by the worry you carried; where once you sleepily wondered when Anonymous would be back, you now pace idly while pretending to read the latest peer-reviewed scientific journal from the Canterlot Institute of Magical Studies.
>The implication that magic could be used to directly interact with the previously-untouchable aether of the world would be far more interesting if the safety of one of your closest friends wasn’t in question.
>For a moment, you think about bouncing your erratic thoughts off of Spike again.
>A quick glance up the stairs and into the darkened corridor beyond reminds you that the poor sleeping dragon doesn’t need to be on the receiving end of another one of your famous one-sided ramblings right now.
>He’d been through three already tonight.
>With a hearty exhale, you tremulously set the journal down on a nearby table before continuing to pace around the living room of Golden Oaks in restless anticipation.
>For what seems like the millionth time in the span of these four hours, you work back through what Anon said his schedule would be like.
>His seminar in Manehattan started the second day of the week, so he had to spend the first day traveling to get there.
>The seminar lasted through the weekend, so he should have left for home today.
>All situations and mishaps taken into account, he should’ve been home by six o’clock, and at the very latest, by eight.
>And yet, here you are, wide awake at midnight, having paced back and forth across almost every inch of your home.
>You pause your endless march, listening out across the stagnant silence for any faint whisper of motion outside, of keys jingling or snow being packed down by his boots.
>Naught but the gentle pitter-patter of snow against the windows graces your ears.
>The sound of winter tapping on the glass grows louder as your thoughts continue to swell in their errancy.
>He brought a bottle of Spike’s dragonfire along with him in case of an emergency, so he should’ve been able to send a letter if anything had gone wrong.
>...unless something terrible happened and he didn’t have the opportunity to write a letter or use the dragonfire in time, but you’d have heard about it if something like that happened.
>Right?
>You’re only three seconds away from taking off into the night in a frantic search before a familiar bipedal rhythm upon the entrance walkway enters the soundscape, muted by both settled snow and thick wooden walls.
>Not a second later, the sound of a key turning in the doorknob brings your thoughts to a halt as it reverberates throughout the living room, a lapse in the otherwise tepid silence.
>Your head turns just in time to catch the door swinging open to reveal your missing companion, whose gaze meets yours almost instantly.

>>42517919
>He smiles softly, eyes half-lidded by exhaustion that is present in everything about him.
>He’s dressed casually, which makes sense, seeing as he didn’t have to do anything but travel today. Still, you wish you could have seen him in that new suit Rarity made for him.
>An acute awareness of the fact that you’re staring without saying anything starts to take hold of you.
>Before you start to visibly fluster, you deign to say something to dispel the silence.
“Sweet Celestia, I was just about to go looking for you, Anon! Are you alright?”
>He sleepily drags his rolling suitcase in behind him and shuts the door before he answers.
>“Oh, yeah, I’m alright,” he replies, a huff of exasperation expelling from his soul. “The trains, however, are another story.”
>You stroll over to the couch, planting yourself on the far end while he releases his grip on the suitcase and falls into his seat closer to the middle, limbs going slack in the process.
>His head rolls back and rests against the cushion, eyes meeting the ceiling as he sinks deeper into his seat.
>“Every single train I took today had a delay, and the train home was stopped for three hours because of a problem with the engine,” he utters softly. “Second longest day of my life, I think.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re home, in spite of all that.”
>He hums an agreement before casting a look your way, turning his head slightly toward you.
>“By the way, why are you still up? I thought you had a girl’s day out tomorrow.”
>You squint your eyes at him in disbelief.
>Is he serious??
“Because I was worried something had happened to you! You said you’d be here by eight at the latest, and you weren’t, so my mind started wandering like it usually does, and, well… I couldn’t let it go.”
>He picks his head up off of the cushion and fully directs his attention towards you, turning his body halfway to assist in that regard.
>“I’d have sent you the letter if something bad had happened, Twi,” he reassures you, though it doesn’t really work.
“What if you couldn’t write the letter in time, or couldn’t use the dragonfire before something happened?
>“I had my letter pre-written on the parchment you gave me,” he replies, smiling the same gentle smile from before. “And the bottle of Spike’s fire was always in the very top of my duffle bag just in case anything went awry.”
>On any other night, that should’ve been enough to soothe your nerves, but for some reason, you can’t help but sigh and throw your own head against the cushions, closing your eyes in the process.
>Why are you still so tense?
>“Hey.”
>Anon’s voice brings you out of your stupor, and as you open your eyes, you see that he’s now fully facing you, sitting up completely.
>“What can I do to make you feel better, hm?” he asks, genuine concern laden in his tone.
>You search his features for an answer you can give him, but come up with nothing, settling for a shrug.

>>42517921
“I don’t know. I don’t know why I got so worried. I mean, I worry a little bit every time you or Spike or the girls head out somewhere on your own, but this was… intense.”
>You shuffle a bit as you turn to face him in the same manner that he’s facing you.
>When you’re both sitting down, you almost reach his height, on account of the fact that he’s bipedal and you’re quadrupedal.
>“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I do, but I don’t even know where to begin.”
>You hang your head and shut your eyes with a slightly shaky breath.
“I’m probably still a bit anxious, in all honesty.”
>From the blackness of your closed eyelids, you hear Anonymous doing something in front of you.
>A second later, something small hits the cushion between you, judging from the negligible impact.
>Picking your head back up, you discover that he’s taken off his winter gloves, which now lie between the two of you.
>A warm grin spreads across his still-tired countenance.
>“Want me to do the thing?” he asks in a comforting voice.
>A warmth very quickly spreads across your cheeks, and you pray to Celestia that it’s not visible.
>He’s done this for you on a number of occasions when you’ve flown off the rails, and it’s worked every time.
>This is just the first time you’ve been nervous about it.
>There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, of course. It’s just your friend helping you calm down.
>Sheepishly, you nod your head and hold out your hoof toward him, leaning against the cushion as you do, relaxing as much as possible.
>Your eyelids shut once more as he takes your hoof in his hand, stroking it back and forth with his thumb.
>His grip is firm, but tender; the perfect amount of pressure to dull your stream of consciousness and root you in the here and now.
>Never mind the fact that this is something that typically only couples do.
>Never mind the fact that he’s the only one you’ve ever held hooves with. Well, hand and hoof, to be accurate.
>Never mind the fact that you now realize you have a gigantic crush on him, and probably have for a while.
>All that matters right now is that he’s home, he’s okay, and everything is fine.
>Before long, the nerves leave you completely, and pure exhaustion sets in.
>Your breathing becomes much more drawn out as your senses dull.
>You hear Anonymous say something, but it’s muddled and hazy.
>You don’t have the time or energy to decipher what exactly it was before the realm of sleep envelops you in its silky embrace.

https://ponepaste.org/8826
AC green's production is currently in full swing

>>42517925
Sweet, how big is it?

>>42517526
I’m not cleaning the compactor after that, fuck off

>>42517919
Cute horse

>>42518248
it'll probably be a medium size green, i don't really wanna go above 25-30 or so chapters. i struggle with concision though so we'll see where it goes

>>42517925
>Anon the therapy animal

>>42518969
He has the potential. A LOT of therapeutic helping is just making people smile and laugh.

>>42518955
Why does this picture give me porn vibes

For some reason I have this listed as "Familia Short", I don't know why it's short, but whatever.

“Eat up, buttercups!” you say as you sling some pancakes onto the girls plates.
>Celestia claps her hooves together and squeals while Luna sniffs her stack. “No butter -again-?” she whines.
“Sorry sweetheart.”
>The cows in the field nearby hadn’t been cooperative. It’d be awkward if they ever cognized…
>”Now Luna.” Celestia begins to scold. “Daddy worked very hard to get us these, we should show him how thankful we are.”
>”We would be more thankful with some butter.” The little Nighthorse said.
“I’ll get it for you next time, sweety. Honest promise.”
>Luna rests her head on her hoof on her face but smiles when she looks at you. “Thank you, Papa.”
>You give her one back and the three of you enjoy a relaxing meal.
>Until…
>”Daddy?”
“Yes, Celestia?”
>”Did you have a mommy and a daddy before you had us?”
>That surprises you enough that your pancake bite gets lodged in your throat and throws you into a coughing fit. You see Celestia and Luna’s eyes widen in panic, the older sibling races over to you and begins striking the your back as quick and as hard as she can.
>”Sorry! Sorry! I’m Sorry!” she cries.
>Once you cough the offending food from your windpipe, you hold a hand up.
“It’s fine, sweety you just…surprised me is all.”
>The little princess looks down at her hooves in shame. “I’m…sorry…you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to…”
“No no, it’s about time I told you both.
>You get up from the table and sit down on the couch, patting your lap in the universal dad-signal for “climb up” which both the girls quickly respond to.

>>42519730
>You pet the girl’s manes in your lap as you think back.
“To answer your question, yes I had a mom and a dad, everything alive has one.”
>They both nod. “Were they nice?” Celestia asks.
>You nod as a familiar smile crosses your lips. You can remember so vividly how they looked, their smells, even so far after the fact…
“The best, Celly…I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.”
>”Well what were they like?” Luna asks abruptly.
>You muss her mane. “Good question!”
>Leaning your head back, you remember as far bas as you can, like they’re standing right beside you.
“Dad was…stern. Very stern. But he always had this innate sense of when something was really bothering you and in those moments he could be your best friend in the world. And he always learned from his mistakes.”
>You smile and close your eyes.
“And mom was always there for you, always helping you figure things out until you could do it on your own, and was always in your corner no matter what. She’d give me all the confidence I ever needed and more.”
>Celestia and Luna sit quiet for a moment.
>”Do they miss you? Since you’re here with us?” Celestia asks.
>You had of course told your girls you weren’t native some time ago; it wasn’t a secret but what you were about to tell them had been.
“No…no my mommy and daddy passed away before I came here.”

>>42519780
>Saying that brought back the memories of those days shortly after their deaths, but all you felt was the feeling of picking at a healed over scab at this point.
>The girls hang their heads in a mix of fear and sadness. One of the first lessons you had taught them was about the concept of death so that they could find the appropriate appreciation for life, but it still scared them as it should young children.
>”O-oh…” Luna says.
>You pet them both to comfort them.
“Dad…got very sick one day and had to be in bed for a long time, and one day the sickness just…got too bad. Mom was very sad after that…the doctors say she died of a broken heart.”
>You feel a sensation on your lap and look down to see Celestia hugging your leg as tight as she can while Luna buries her face in your stomach.
>”D-daddy please stop…”
>”That’s the saddest story we ever he-heard…”
>You can hear the tears in their voices when you scoop them up.
“Girls, girls, it’s alright. It was a long time ago.”
>After the girls first arrived here, you began to entertain the idea that it was perhaps your orphaned status that was a reason you were brought to…this place. With no one to miss you, you could be given a new purpose.
>You lift the girls up and feel them nuzzle your neck for a long time.
“I think my mommy and daddy would be very proud of my little girls…”
>”We love you, daddy.”
>”Pretty please do not leave us.”
>You hug them closer. “I love you too, girls.”
>You sit there a moment to let the girls calm down.
“Come on, the food is getting cold and we have a full day ahead of us!”
>The girls smile at you when you take them back to the table and continue eating.
>You sit down and feel a wave of satisfaction wash over you, knowing now as you watched the two of them what gave your parents the motivation to do all they did for you.

>And- And, you know, this guy, this Anonymous character- 'Blahnonymous' is what I call em'..
>He's so low energy, that, you know, I'm inclined to believe he's nothing more than, a uhh, griffon psy-op designated to weaken the great, great equestrian society with his boops and headpats.
>THAT I can tell you right now, my friends.

>>42520037
Q anon in equstria?

>>42520034
Celly my liege

>>42519784
loving this little anthology series

>>42516662 (OP)
Anon sure has a big basement

>>42520865
Thanks!

>>42520034
Celly is pure

>>42520037
Hooves too big

>>42522281
I think Bighoof is real, but he's just blurry and out of focus.

>>42519110
>Anon moonlights as a therapist on the weekends
>Therapy methods consist of snuggles and freshly brewed tea (made with love, of course)
>Services become so popular that even royalty indulges once in a stressful while

>>42522821
He fits better as a clown.

>>42523115
RIIIIIIIDIIIIII
PAGLIAAAAACI-ANON

>>42523439
Yes, but rather than be sad, he's horny.

>>42523621
*He's Hitman
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfUBAZdNvCU

>>42524119
Just put the phone down

>>42523644
What?

>>42524119
i'd give anything to have my ear yapped off by a mare telling me about her day

>>42524931
It’d just be foid stuff

>>42525336
I like the more modern takes on horse stuff.

>>42525336
Would any ponies seriously trade Equestria for waging on Earth? Maybe for a while for the novelty of it, but I don't know.

>>42525782
Kicks

>>42525782
Sometimes you never get your cutie mark.

=Familia 5=

>You knock on the door and wait patiently for it to open.
>”Twilight Sparkle! So good to see you, come in.”
“Thanks Anonymous.” You say as you step inside the doorway into the home.
>Not many things changed in this house whenever you came. Sometimes things were moved here or there and occasionally places were overturned for dusting, but Anonymous kept the house static for his children, Celestia had said.
>You walk the familiar path to the couch and Anonymous sits across from you in his chair.
>”How do you find yourself?”
>You sigh contentedly and begin to ramble off a few things.
“It’s good! I’m helping ponies with their friendship lessons and starting to figure out what the map that came with my castle means.”
>Anonymous chuckles. “All good to hear, but how do you find yourself?”
>You can’t your head to the side.
“Uh…I think I just told you.”
>”You told me what you are doing but I asked how you ARE? You, not your duties. Twilight Sparkle.”
>You rub your hooves together, a little scarlet-faced.
“I’m fine, I’ve been working hard every day since my ascension. Spike’s even started officially scheduling time to spend with me.”
>Despite what you would think, Anonymous raises an eyebrow. “Too busy to be with him?”
>You rub the back of your head.
“Yes…I feel awful about it, but I know that I’ve got a duty as the Princess of Friendship to the rest of the ponies in Equestria. Spike can’t come before that.” You say, resolve doubled.
>Anonymous leans into his fingers and taps one against his face.
“You’re thinking of a story.”
>”I often will when you come by.”
>Anonymous looks into the distance.
>”It was a night like any other…at the beginning.”

>>42526889
>You spin the cups around amongst themselves, mixing them up and trying to trick the girls. Once you’re satisfied you stop and sit back with your hands crossed.
“Pick one.”
>”That one!” Celestia says, confident as ever.
>You lift the cup and reveal…the floor underneath.
“Sorry Celly.”
>Celestia frowns in disappointment. Luna then steps forward and bit and silently points to another.
>You lift that one up, revealing it empty.
>Luna plops on the floor defeated and neither of the girls move.
“Well? You still have one more guess.”
>Celestia looks up at you. “What? Daddy, there’s only three cups. It can’t be anywhere else.”
>You chuckle and lift the cup up, there was nothing there.
“Can it now?”
>Celestia hops to her feet, never taking her eyes off the spot the small stone that was serving as the token in this game was supposed to be. She stepped forward and patted the area with her hoof.
>”Nothing…daddy you lied to us! There was no stone under there!”
>She glares up at you and puffs out her cheeks, it was one of the most adorable things you’d ever seen.
“Did I, Celestia?” You ask.

>>42516662 (OP)
>obvious necrobump by one namefaggot
postan in dead general

>>42526893
>You reach your hand out and into her mane and with a quick flick of your thumb to move the rock from your hiding spot between your fingers, you pull it out from her hair.
>Well, Celestia’s jaw hits the floor. Her and Luna both stare with wide-eyed shock when you show them the tiny stone.
>”WHA-“
>”HOW DID THOU-“
>You laugh and kick your legs a bit, watching these two in wonderment always made you smile.
“It’s a secret, girls. One I don’t intend to reveal.”
>You glance up at the clock and nearly gasp. It was getting late.
“But what’s not a secret is that it’s time for one little filly to get to bed.”
>Luna sags her head a bit. “Do we haaaave to?” she whines.
“Sorry princess, but being a night-owl doesn’t mean no bed time.”
>Luna sighs.
“When you get older you can stay up as late as Celestia, okay?”
>”Okay…”
>You pick her up and carry her off to the bath.
“Celestia before I put you to bed, I’ll teach you a magic trick.”

>>42526897
>The girls asleep, father finally lets himself have the same treat.
>You crawl into bed after bathing and reading to Celestia and curl up in your covers. You felt tired, as you did after every day with the girls, but it was a good exhaustion.
>Your muscles ached with the ache of having worked hard to raise two children and your mind was empty from putting all your thoughts into making sure they were happy.
>Because of that, sleep comes easily for you. You can feel your mind starting to wander the moment your head hits the pillow and your eyes start to sag.
>Your thoughts turn to the girls.
>In your mind’s eye you see Celestia and Luna frolicking on the lawn outside your cottage. From the door you can see them run and leap and tackle over each other and you smile.
>The little figment of Luna runs over to you, between your legs and into the house. “Come play with me, papa!”
>You turn and chase after her into your home. It was warm inside and you felt safe and the floor was littered with toys and games that never seemed to get in your way.
>You scoop Luna up and hold her to your face.
“I got you!”
>She giggles and nuzzles her nose against yours, making you sneeze and send little stars into the air.
>Wait sneeze? In a dream?
“That doesn’t…”
>”What doesn’t, Papa?” Luna asks peering through her bangs.
>You catch that too.
“Sweety? You…can respond to-“ you look around you at the house, it all seemed so real… “But I’m dreaming…”
>Luna titters. “A special dream.”

>>42526895
“Huh?”
>Luna floats up out of your hands, though she doesn’t flap her tiny wings. “It was I who made this place! Now we can play together!”
>She-
“Sweety…you MADE THIS?”
>She smiles and nods. This was not in your lessons.
“HOW?!”
>”We have read yours and sisters dreams for a long time now! It simply…happened one night.”
>That just raised more questions. How did it happen? Were their powers advancing without you? Could you even trust this was real?
>”I know you dreamed up that magical trick, papa! I know you hid the stone between your fingers!”
>Okay so it was real.
>Luna floats past you on invisible wind and lands on the ground. “Come on! We can do whatever we want here! Let’s play! She says.”
>You look around at the toys scattered along the floor and took inventory of them, some you didn’t even recognize or think would work in a physically possible way, but would make perfect sense for a small child.
>Then you looked at her face and see how wide her smile is when so often it was hidden behind her hair or curled into a non-committal face.
>Seeing her happy and comfortable in this place made you feel the same way.
“Alright Sweety…what did you have in mind?”
>Luna’s smile grows wider.

>>42526907
>It was your turn.
“And…flip!”
>You jump and spin around, waving your arms and blowing your cheeks out to make a ridiculous face at Luna.
>You find a copy of yourself staring back at you, one that glows ever so slightly blue. You chuckle.
“I think SOMEPONY here might just be cheating.”
>Luna peeks up from behind a rainbow hill in the living room. “What? Me? I perish that thought!”
“And this handsome fellow?” you ask, pointing towards your doppelganger.
>”He clearly must have desired to play as well.”
“Oh clearly.”
>You walk over to Luna and scoop her up in her arms, tickling her belly and making her squeal.
“We’ll call that a tie game, huh?”
>”Hehehehehehe whatever allows you to sleep at night!”
>Wow. You’d almost never heard Luna laugh.
>Come to think of it, the hours you’d spent here with her had shown you many things you’d never seen the little night filly do. Laugh so hard milk came from her nose, make silly faces at her reflection, even frolic. Luna never frolicked back with you and Celestia in reality…
>Thinking of Celestia made you remember something.
“Luna…where’s…your sister?” you ask, looking around.
>Luna stops laughing. “Uhm…that was your dream, papa. It was before we pulled you here.”
“But you can do -all this-, surely you can make your sister.”
>Luna averts her eyes and taps her hooves together. “We…could…”
>You don’t say anything, but you think. Why wouldn’t Luna want to play with her sister and you?
>…Oh.
>Oh!
>…Oh…

>>42526911
>You sigh and sit down with her.
“Lulu…”
>She doesn’t answer.
“Is this because you wanted more time with me?...Perhaps without your sister around?”
>Luna remains tight lipped, but that really says it all.
“Sweetie…”
>”Well you always put me to bed first and she gets the longer lessons and you and her talk lots more than you and I do and she always butts her big fat butt into things when you and I play!”
“Whoa! Luna!”
>Luna stops screaming but pants heavily. You hug her to your chest.
“Lulu…your sister…she’s older than you, sweetie, and she has different needs than you. I love both of you more than you can imagine, and from the look of this place, you can imagine quite a lot.”
>She titters at that.
“If I spend time with you or your sister…it’s because one of you needs me. Celestia is learning more about her magic every day and she needs help, that’s why I spend time talking to her and helping her study. I’ll do the same for you once you start learning as much as she does.”
>Luna is quiet for a bit. “How come she stays up later with you then?”
“Because she’s OLDER than you, Silly Filly. When you’re her age, I’ll let you stay up later.”
>Luna is quiet for a bit longer.
“We’re a family, little moon…and we fit together no matter what. If there was “us” without any one of us, it just wouldn’t work…Do you understand?”
>”…I guess so.”
”Good girl…” you say, petting her.

>>42526917
>You look at Anonymous expectantly.
“…And?”
>”And what, Twilight?” he responds.
“And what happened NEXT?”
>Anonymous chuckles. “And then I woke up shortly thereafter and I played with the girls in the waking world for the entire day! We had such a grand time.”
“That’s IT?”
>Anonymous gets up off his chair. “Not every story has a fantastical ending, Twilight.”
>You get off the couch as well, following what he does without thinking.
“Why did you tell me all that?”
>Anonymous puts his hands into his pocket and his beard smiles at you. “Your assistant. You can’t ignore personal connections for your duties, he relies on you more than you realize.”
>Anonymous starts ushering you to the door. “Never let your princess part of your title outweigh the friendship part. Ignoring those things can have…dire results.”
“A…huh. Anonymous? Can I ask you a question?”
>”Sure.”
“All this about Luna…what happened when Ni-“
>Quickly, Anonymous hurries you out the door. “It was nice seeing you again Twilight! Do bring Celestia next time, I always love seeing her!”
>And with that he shuts the door, leaving you perplexed.
“…What just happened?”

>>42526535
sad.gosling

>>42516875
Which?

>>42525782
Whenever an anon gets transported to Equestria, a pony is transported to earth. Equivalent exchange and all of that.

>>42527419
Equestria is a critical retard mass enough as is

>>42527902
I’ve seen worse (it’s here)

>>42523115
Seconded. Fuck waff, make me laugh

>>42527419
sounds like I need to start hitting people with my isekai truck until mai waifu arrives, thanks for the tip anon

>>42525336
jej

>>42529237
I feel like context won't help for this one.

>>42527419
There's potential in this idea for an Anon that's been in Equestria for a while having somepony he's close to get taken and replaced with another Anon.

>>42530390
I wish my arm could inflate like that.

>>42530560
GOMMU GOMMU NO...
GIGANTO BOOP

>>42530572
Took force Anon could work…

>>42531193
Toon force* fuxk

>>42529237
>omg moonie you can’t just say that

>>42529237
How does Lyra support his weight.

>>42532134
Magic.

>>42527419
Who the hell asks that in the beach and sports section. You think someone can't find the boogie boards?

>>42531892
>The board has superseded your authority and ok'd the sale of the firm to Griffonberg & Beakham Holdings, Filthy.
>Have all your things out of the building before the Hologriff Remembrance Day Parade.
Jesus Christ Raimi...

>>42532134
She's actually pretty good at it.

It's 4:30 on a work night so it's time for the next post.

=Familia 6=

>Anonymous slips one of the last books onto the shelf. “There…a place for everything, and everything in its place!”
“It’s killing me that you won’t alphabetize these.”
>”Twilight I’m an old man and I have my books sorted just the way I like them. You wouldn’t force an elderly person to change their bookshelf, would you?”
>Your inner librarian screamed at the concept. A bookshelf was a sanctum.
“No…”
>”Thank you.”
>Anonymous continues to stock his bookshelf, quietly humming to himself.
>You look around the room for the third time that day and finally say what’s been on your mind.
“Anonymous? Why am I the only one here?”
>”Whatever do you mean, Twilight?” he asks, sliding another book in.
“Normally I’m here WITH someone. Celestia or Luna…but today I stop by and it’s just you.”
>”Does the solitude trouble you?” he asks.
“I’m afraid I just don’t see the value…”
>Anonymous smiles but doesn’t look at you. “Twlight, we may learn how to better ourselves from others but its only on our own that we truly begin to understand it and our place in the world.”
>He slots another book in.
>”Even I had to let my girls out from under my nose sometime…”
“Is this another story? Should I sit down?”
>”It was a bright, sunny day…”
>Yep.

>>42533425
>”Hurry up daddy!” Celestia cries as she runs to the top of the green hill you were walking up.
“Hold on, sweetness!”
>”Higher papa!”
“Okay, hold on!”
>You hold Luna up above your head and make rocket blastoff noises for her while you increase your speed to get to Celestia. Luna holds her hooves straight out and adopts a heroic face as she flies through the air, although she devolves to gigglefits once you reach the top of the hill.
>”There it is…” Celestia says “I can’t wait!”
>The girls and you overlook the deep forest spread across the land before you with trees so thick that the ground underneath was cast in perpetual shade. Shapes darted between the trees in dashes almost too fast to see as they watched you carefully.
>The girls, and now you as you discovered, aged slower than the rest of the world but the world still aged, and races beyond your little daughters had begun to appear.
>The closest to you being the deer.

>>42533428
>Celestia and Luna had both had brief spurts of interaction with them at the edges of your respective spaces, mostly in the fields or rivers and you’d caught a few in the backyard a few times before they scamper away in surprise, deer seemed just as skittish here as they did on Earth.
>It warmed your heart to see a friendship forming between the girls and one larger white deer youth that’d appeared a few times behind the house. Imagine your feeling when the girls came to you saying this deer invited them to come to his lands to play.
>You set Luna down and walk hands in pockets down to the edge of the trees, stopping when you see the deer inside inch back.
“Girls, I want to know who you’ll be with and when you’ll be back. Can you find out?”
>”Leave it to us!” Celestia says with a determined grin. Luna and her gallop off to the trees and converse with a dark shape before running back.
>”Daddy! We’ll be with our friend Aspen and we PROMISE to be home by sunset! Okay?”
>You kneel down and boop her nose.
“Best behavior, alright?”
>”Cross our hearts and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye!” they both say in unison.
>You smile and turn, walking back towards home.
“I love you both!”

>>42533431
>The path you take is the same path you took to where you are now.
>You smile to yourself as you feel the grass crunch under your feet and your mind thinks about the girls and the day they had ahead of them.
>You think back to when you were a little boy and playing with your local friends. Often leaving the house early in the morning and not returning until late that night with wild tales of adventure under your cap to regale your parents with.
“Heh…this’ll be good for them.”
>It’s about halfway back to the house when you remember the other side of that coin you had with your friends.
>Namely all the trouble you used to get into.
>You stop in your tracks.
>There was the time you fell into the lake or when you broke your arm…holy hell you used to grab electrical wires and play with knives!
>You feel your breathing quicken but force yourself to calm down.
“They’re smart…they’ll be fine…”
>You hold your head up high and continue walking home.
>…But what about diseases?
>Deer back on earth carried Lyme disease along with a dozen other illnesses.
>Could horses contract Lyme disease?
>Could magical ones?
>What if the deer were more reckless than you were because they were nimbler than ponies? The girls couldn’t fly yet.
>You take a deep breath and press onwards.
“It’s nothing, Anon…just relax…trust them.”
>You lean forward and walk home with more determination than ever befor-
>What if those deer try to touch their horns?
>You turn on your heel and start sprinting back towards the forest.

>>42533435
>You run back to the forest and feel the rush of wind as all the deer spying on you utterly vanish in fright.
>You’d apologize later, you had dad neurosis fueling you right now.
>The tracks in the ground lead all over the place, probably from leaping excitement and glee, but two stood out.
>A pair of the tracks were lighter than the rest, clearly made by the marshmellowy hoovsies you’d washed hundreds of times.
“There you are…”
>You give chase along the path the tracks lead down at full tilt until you hear girlish giggling.
>The bushes nearby offer safety from sight and let you hide behind them easily enough. When you’re sure you haven’t been seen, you peek through a hole.
>Your fillies frolic and play alongside three adolescent deer, the tallest and whitest of which you guess is Aspen. Above them fluttered a flock of chirping orange plumes of flame.
>Magic maybe? Around fire, never tire.
>You take a closer look and see faces in the forms, avian ones.
“Pheonix chicks…” you mutter to yourself.
>In the woods like this? Was that even safe?
>”Go ahead, Celestia!” you hear.
>Peeking through the brush, you see Celestia stare intently at the flock of phoenixes, smiling up at them and looking non-threatening. One of the birds flutters down lower than the rest and flirts with her nose. Celestia can’t contain her joy and smiles wider.
>The bird, reacting to her change, gets spooked and flutters off with a slight whiff of flame that dances over Celestia’s snout.
>”Yow!” she exclaims as the deer groan their disappointment at the phoenix.
>You’re a heartbeat away from rushing through the bushes to help her when a snort from behind distracts you.
>Looking over your shoulder you lock eyes with a large imposing buck standing some hundred feet back. His brown eyes look past your own and bore into your brain, momentarily sapping you of your drive to your girl’s aid.
>He snorts once and gestures to the youths.

>>42533437
>Looking back you see Luna look at Celestia’s snout. “Are you okay?”
>”Yeah, it’s nothing…”
Oh…thank god…
>You sigh and the deer look over to you, spooked.
>”Did you guys hear that?” one says.
>SPOOT.
>”It was probably just my dad spying on us…” Aspen answers.
>”He does that?” Celestia asks.
>”All the time.”
>”How droll.” Luna replies.
>Oof…
>”I want to try again!” Celestia says, planting her flank in the ground amongst the phoenixes and holding her nose high.
>The birds circle around her in a lazy trailed pattern until one, the same one as before, makes another lazy descent.
>This time Celestia stands perfectly still while watching the bird land on her nose and smiles when it perches.
>The deer smile and cheer. “You did it, Celestia!”
>Celestia grins a toothy smile and moves with the bird on her nose.
>”Luna, do you think daddy will let us keep it?!”
>”Maybe. He let us keep you.” Luna responds.
>Celestia blows her cheeks out while the deer children laugh.
>You let out another sigh, masked by their laughter, and turn back behind you to find the buck gone.
>Shame washes over you, at what the boy said and your own realization.
>There was no danger here, at least none that could readily occur. The girls were smart and these children had parents as well, parents who would go just as far to protect their children as you would.
>You feel the fool and back away from the bush, content to have the little ones have their fun
>Once you exit the forest and REALLY start heading home, you decide to make it up to the girls by preparing for their new pet.

>>42533438
>”And…done.” Anonymous says, slotting the last book into place.
>You blink twice and shake your head, having lost track of time.
“Wah-huh?”
>”Did you space out, Twilight?” Anonymous ask chuckling his old chuckle.
“I…guess. Nice story though.”
>”Thank you. I love stories about the big moments in the girls’ lives.
“Why’d you tell it?”
>Anonymous looks down at you and cocks an eyebrow.
“Well all your other stories had sort of a…moral or a point I guess that related to my life or princesshood, what’s this one?”
>Anonymous stares at you for a long time and then shrugs. “Cute things are cute?”
“Anonymous!”
>”Alright fine! Always trust those who are important in your life and give them the space they need to grow or SOMETHING. Happy now?”
”You threw that together just now!” you accuse pointing at him.
>”Maybe!”
“That’s a waste of time!”
>”Did you like hearing the story!?”
“Yes! It was cute to imagine Princess Celestia getting what I’m guessing was Philomena!”
>”That’s right it was! If you thought, it was cute then that’s all the point you need!”
>You shut your trap and look up at Anonymous with narrow eyes.
“You win this round…”
>”I win every round, I practically invented the game. Same time next time?”
>You go to the door and find Anonymous already there holding it open for you.
“Sure, do you want me to bring anyone or…?”
>”Let’s see where life takes us, Twilight.”
>The two of you exchange a smile and you fly off.

>>42533230
Pegusi HATE her.

>>42533441
may i have some more sir please sir

>>42533441
may i have some more greenshart saar please saar

>>42534914
Why’d he do it bros

>>42518969
Where can I get this vest

>>42535988
You can buy them from pet supply places. They make them for dogs to let people know in what way a pooch is loopy.

>>42536303
I mean one for me.

>>42529237
Is this a series?

>>42537197
I don't think so.

skeleton for the first few chapters of the AC green is done, started the writing process last night, should have something tangible in a few days. in the meantime, a jam green i wrote for a general that wasn't meant to be

>A miracle writhes within your restless maw, no less than nectar; candied divinity.
>The corners of your mouth curl devilishly of their own volition as the buds on your tongue throw themselves into every last speck of the wondrous ambrosia.
>You cannot be without it. You cannot /live/ without it.
>A balm for your very soul. Should you be without it, you cannot say what would become of you.
>Whatever god presides over this world - and all others - must be tender of heart indeed.
>What a boon to the world, this is. Your soul swells, drowning out all the-
>“Um… Anon?”
>The stupor all but disappears as you’re brought crashing back down from the lofty heights of heaven.
>Even still, you’ve a fog about you; so much so that you’ve forgotten just where you are.
>Putting your head on a swivel brings a busy corner of Ponyville’s market street into view, lines in front of each of the shops disrupting the otherwise steady flow of the main cobblestone road.
>Winter always bogs your hometown with foreign traffic. Ordinarily, you would take issue with the volume of ponies crowding every nook and cranny of conceivable space, but you pay no mind; today is a special case.
>The air is lighter than usual - gone is the heavy-set chill of deep winter. Just as well, there’s something… /heady/ about everything as of late.
>It’s strikingly prevalent in the way couples gaze longingly upon each other; every movement, every expression a brushstroke of love and adoration.
>In more brazen folk, the flighty whims of tenderness condense down into a thicker, more voracious compulsion.
>That was decently rare, though. The few you did see giving into temptation eventually turned tail to somewhere more private whenever they were called out on it.
>“Hellooooo…?”
>Huh?
>Oh, right.
>Without much fanfare, you corral the rest of the blueberry ginger jam down your throat, unable to stop yourself from grunting in abject ecstasy.
“Good lord, Hughbert. I mean, /wow/.”
>A dopey grin overtakes his previously perturbed features.
>“I’m glad you like it,” he says, screwing the lid of the jar shut. “Considering it’s a gift, it’s on the house.”
>He slides the jar over to your end of the counter, where it’s taken into your eager clutches.
>Free…?
>Is he insane? He should be charging thirty bits for this jar /alone/.
“Hugh, dude, you gotta let me pay for this. It’s too good to just give away like that.”
>He shakes his head.
>“It’s not from me, actually. Rainbow Dash stopped by a few days ago and custom-ordered it herself, said to give it to you whenever it was ready.”
>The heavenly jam’s origin gives you pause.
>She must have felt bad about not being able to hang out before she went on tour with the Wonderbolts.

>>42538018
>It’d happened before, and she’d always tried to make it up to you, but an actual, tangible gift?
>Color yourself surprised. You’ll have to get something for your wingmare whenever she gets back.
“She really did all that?”
>“Yep! Shoot, she even wrote you a letter to go with it.”
>He procures the carefully folded envelope from below the counter and slides it over as well.
>You pick it up with your free hand, turning it over a couple of times.
>It’s smooth to the touch, no wrinkles or blemishes at all. Hell, it’s even been properly sealed.
>Since when has she been this formal about something so benign…?
>“Now, she told me to tell you that ya can’t open it until you’ve had some of it. I didn’t ask why, though.”
>You wave off his concerns, a perplexed smirk still riding the corner of your mouth.
“No worries, man. Hey, I’ll see you around, alright? I’ve got a meeting to go to a bit later, so I gotta split.”
>“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!” he beams, waving as you go. “And good luck!”
>You turn back toward him with a raised eyebrow. He simply winks back with a smarmy grin before addressing the next customer in line.
>…Odd.

---

>The fervor with which you inhale the final farthings of Dash’s gift is outright salacious.
>You didn’t /mean/ to eat the rest of it when you got home. It just sort of… /happened/.
>Everything else you had in mind flew out the window when the lid came off. Hell, in your jam-induced haze, you’d even forgotten about the letter she had sent you.
>The letter which, corresponding to the strange sense of unease in your gut, is now carefully nestled in between the pointer and thumb of your right hand.
>Trepidation plays at your senses as you move it to and fro, eyes roaming over its bare surface.
>You’d known Dash to be a mare capable of her own brand of kindness, but this?
“Something really must be in the air…” you mutter to yourself.
>You go to open it, but pause as your fingers are poised to break the seal.
>The growing warmth within, now spreading freely to your chest, almost begs you to stop, but you aren’t sure why.
>This is just a letter from your broski, right? What could possibly be so odd about that?
>You cull the growing feeling with action, tearing at the flap and digging out the letter within.
>With a flourish, it opens to its full length.
>‘What’s up, Anon?!’
>‘Hope you’re doing good! Chances are, when you read this, I’ll probably be on the train to Las Pegasus with the rest of my team. Wish you coulda come along with me, but I didn’t even know that team members could give out guest passes until all the arrangements were set. Next time, you’re planting your butt right next to me on that train, got it?”
>You chuckle openly, the warmth within continuing to spread, reaching an almost uncomfortable intensity.
>The air conditioning must be a bit too hot…
>Ah, you’re too far into the letter to get up now.

>>42538021
>‘Listen, I’m not really good at writing letters like this. That’s Twilight’s whole wheelhouse. Rarity’s too, but that’s besides the point.’
>‘I’m just gonna come at you with it: I’m sorry we haven’t been able to hang as much lately. All the training we’ve been doing eats up a ton of my free time, and I sometimes stay after to get my routine down just right. Need to be one hundred percent awesome for the show, right?’
>‘I hope you don’t feel like I’ve been blowing you off or anything, ‘cause that’s not it at all. Hanging out with you is, like, one of the best parts of the day to me, and I’ve really been missing it the past few weeks. When I get back in a couple weeks, we gotta grab some pizza and go mess around up in Canterlot or something! Or, you know, whatever you wanna do. Anything is cool with me as long as you’re there.’
>You cradle your face in your palm, mouth curling this way and that in dopey reverence.
>‘Anyway, I just wanted to get you something to say sorry about the whole thing. You always keep going on about how much you love good jelly, so I went and got Mister Jellius to make some for you. My treat.’
>Following that line is a rough doodle of Dash’s face smiling at you, stars in place of her eyes.
>‘I’ll see you when I get back home, Anon! Don’t let things get too crazy without me there, alright?’
>‘Your best buddy,’
>‘Rainbow Dash’
>Your cheeks threaten to fall off due to how hard you’re smiling.
>Man, you really lucked out meeting her. You’d wax poetic about it, but in all honesty, your head is swimming a bit right now.
>Your breaths leave heavily, too, as if you’d been running this whole time instead of reading.
>It’s getting a bit worrying, in all honesty. Maybe an ice pack would help, or something along those lines?
>You set the letter down on the table, and as you set off from your couch, a barely perceptible piece of scrawl catches your eye from the very bottom of the scroll.
>You pick it up once more, holding it as close to your face as possible.
>‘P.S.: I put some estrus-strength love potion in your jam. Consider it payback for those awful jellybeans. Have fun trying to figure out how to get me back, ya big dork!’
>…
>Your meeting is in an hour.
>Twilight’s monthly “friendship meeting.”
>The meeting that’s never called off, no matter what.
>The meeting that the royal sisters just so happen to be sitting in on today.
>/That/ meeting.

---

>“And so, as you can see, the Yakyakistan princess’s vacation to Ponyville was…”
>Beyond that, Twilight’s words never register, despite them bouncing around in your hollow head unendingly.
>You squirm unsteadily in your seat, desperate to avoid eye contact with anyone.
>Sight, sound, touch, taste, smell - it’s all been dialed to twelve hundred.

>>42538025
>The chill of the crystalline table underneath your palms shoots through your nerves and down your spine, and it takes everything you have not to shiver.
>Because to shiver would be to move, and to move would be agony unending.
>Not the agony of pain, of course.
>Pain would be far easier.
>You shakily inhale, feeling every micrometer of your bare chest scraping against the cloth of your shirt.
>The exhale is no less vivid; the ache of your lungs missing oxygen is now a pleasure that renders you rigid in both senses of the phrase.
>Down under is a war of biblical proportions, fought by your id and superego.
>You deign to shift in your seat, and all hell breaks loose for the fiftieth time in twenty minutes.
>Your eyelids clamp shut as another wave of ecstasy washes over you, drowning out the rest of the world with it.
>Rainbow Dash is going to pay when she gets back. Of that, you are certain.
>“Anon?”
>Blinding light, bright colors - your eyes have opened against your conscious thought.
>Across the table, three concerned princesses eye you up and down, all the care in the world behind the gesture.
>“Are you feeling alright?” Twilight asks. Even from across the table, she sounds like she’s right in front of you.
“I’m… good.”
>You choke the words out, and it does nothing to sway their concern.
>“Are you sure, darling?” Rarity asks from your right, impossibly loud. “You look as if you’re running a fever.”
>Without warning, her outstretched hoof makes contact with your forehead.
>An innocent gesture any other day of the week, sure, but today?
>Pure eroticism.
>You wince against her touch, however soft, and quickly remove her hoof from your person.
“Actually, no, you’re right, I’m not feeling too good. I’ve gotta go home and get some rest, okay? Sorry about this, bye!”
>You clamber out of your seat, stumbling out of the room with the grace of a dead body attempting to ice skate.
>They call out after you, but you can’t make out anything they say.
>As you race down the halls and out of the castle, you know one thing to be absolutely certain.
>Rainbow Dash is going to pay when she gets back.

---

>The eight mares sit, dumbfounded by Anon's sudden exit.
>“I don’t wanna be rude or nothin’, but, uh…” Applejack finally chimes in. “Ya’ll smelled ‘im too, right?”
>Luna blinks a few times, unsettled. The blush on her face is plain as day.
>“We didn’t know humans had a rut cycle.”

https://ponepaste.org/10315

>>42538038
also sad i couldn't make it to mare fair this year. next year for sure

>>42538038
That was nice thanks

>>42538038
>”iI really shouldn’t stick my head up there…”

>>42535476
Furry money

>>42538038
kek
>I want to CIRD but I must fap

>>42539953
it's unfortunate how lucrative it is

>>42540571
Aristocratic types have always been art financiers and degenerates

>>42540571
I have a friend that trained as a medical technician, who figured out he could just draw furry smut instead to make a very comfortable living. All that skill down the fucking drain.

>"Y'all take a gander at mah new trophy, hoo wee, ain't she a beaut'?"
>'Neat, what'd you win at, Applejack?'
>"Anonymous was havin' this trivia game at the bar last night and me bein' the most honest-knowin-it-all gal around won!"
>'..Applejack why does it say 'Most Racist (Based) Pony'?'

>>42541869
>"Cause 'pparently facts are racist where he comes from."

>>42541170
They're more like petty nobility at best.

>>42542570
I would be SO motivated to get out of bed, if a cute mare told me to do so...

>>42543267
what about another anon? (no homo so its all good)

>>42541934
>”50 percent twilight!”

>>42542245
Rome wouldn’t tolerate these fursuits…

>>42532671
It was a different time

>>42543951
Maybe.

=Familia 7=

>You crest the next hill before you and finally see Anonymous’s cottage in the distance. You catch yourself smiling without knowing and wonder how he’d had such an effect on you in so short a time.
>It had only been about two months since you began visiting Anonymous for your princess training and you’d heard a lot of his stories.
>First trips to the beach, how Celestia grew to love all things sugary, and what morals he had imparted onto the princesses you’d spent your life venerating.
>The strangeness of it all had already dawned on you when you were in his presence. Somehow Anonymous projected an air to him that made you want to trust him implicitly. It was like he would subconsciously pick up on what you felt a father should be and became that person.
>You smile as you go over the next hill. Thinking about that got you thinking about your own dad. You remembered his face when you had been accepted into Celestia’s School or when Shining became a captain or gotten married. He looked proud and unshakable, and happy that his children were achieving the heights he wished for them.
>You wondered, did Anonymous have those same feelings with the Princesses when they had ascended to the throne?
>Would Anonymous and your dad get along if they ever met?
>You chuckle and approach the door, knocking on it with your hoof.
>”Twilight, is that you?” you hear from behind it.
“Hello in there, Anonymous! I’m here for our meeting!”
>”Of course, dear. I’m afraid I quite literally have my hands full in here, can you let yourself in? The door is-“
>You hear him mutter something too quiet to perceive and the door lock clicks open.
>”-now open!”
>You let yourself in, all smiles, to the cozy little cottage.
“I have so much to tell you Anonymous! I’ve finally explored my new castle and-“
>You finally catch sight of Anonymous with a tray of cookies in his hands.
>You also catch sight of who is standing next to him.
>Your jaw drops to the floor.
“WHAT IS -HE- DOING HERE?”

>>42543951
They used them in the Colosseum.
>mommy, what's that lion doing that mare?
>Uuuuuuuuuh... they're fighting to the death sweetie. Yeah, that's it.

>>42545644
>You smile looking out the window as you watch the snow pile up in the backyard. The cold and wind outside battered against the home, but your study stone walls kept it out and the warmth of the fire in.
>The commotion behinds you hurries your to removal of the turkey you were cooking in your oven and head into the living room.
“Easy now girls, don’t knock it over!”
>Celestia and Luna each flutter around a mounted fir tree you’d put in your living room, decorating it with magic ice crystals from the deer forest and baubles of gold. On the top of the tree rested a wooden carved star that you’d made in your free time, and beneath it was a collection of gifts covered In white sheets.
>”Sorry daddy!” they say as they touch down.
>You smile and chuckle to yourself as you set the table.
>Each year since you had taken the girls in, you had slowly introduced more and more of your traditions from the holidays back home. One year just the tree, another year stories, or another food. Last year was the first with presents and this one was the first where you’re surprising them with the presents.
>You catch the girls eyeing the gifts as you cut the turkey.
“Giiiirls. First food, then toys.”
>Celestia snaps back to reality and stands up straight. “Y-yes daddy!”
>”Oooookaaayy…” Luna says, fluttering over to the table.
“And go feed Philomena, Celestia!”
>You pull your seat out and grin to yourself.
>They were going to love what you got them.

>>42545647
“And now the best for last…”
>Celestia tears the sheet off the present with her sister and the two of them gasp. In shock.
>”YOU GOT US A SAMOPHLANGE!” they both cry out in joy.
>”OH MY- GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Celestia cries.
>”YES! YES! YES!” Luna exclains.
“Girls, the neighbors will hear!”
>What neighbors?
>Didn’t matter.
>The girls run around the living room and bowl over each other. That was the last of the presents you had obtained over the last year that now sat spread around the room. You sit in your chair and smile down at the girls when they stop in front of you.
>”Thank you daddy! We love you!” they say in unison.
“I love you too, girls. Did you get me anything?”
>Luna’s eyes bug wide at the task you reminded her about, but Celestia nudges her.
>”In our room, remember?”
>”A-aye. Beneath the toy chest.” You hear them whisper.
>You keep your act up and tilt your head to the side inquisitively, the girls see that and zip off in a flash.
>”Berightbackdaddy!”
>The girls zip in and out of their room and hide behind your chair
>”Close your eyes!”

>>42545652
>You cover your eyes with your hands.
“I’m blind as a bat now.”
>You hear them fluttering behind you and feel a soft warm cloth drape around your neck, the girls saying “Okay!” as soon as it’s snug. You take your hands off your eyes and look down at the red and gold scarf draped around your neck.
“Wow! Girls I love it!”
>The little fillies beam with pride and joy and jump up on your lap, hugging you tight.
>”Aspen and the others helped us make it!”
>”We love you, daddy.”
>You hut the girls close and hug them tight.
“I love you girls too.”
>For a blissful moment, everything was harmonious and peaceful in the world.
“…Daddy?”
“Yes Luna?”
>”What is that present?”
>You open your eyes and glance over to a still covered box hiding behind the tree.
“I don’t remember that one…”
>You set the girls down and go snag it, sitting down with it on the floor with the girls flanking you. You’d gotten every gift and counted them, you remembered and kept track of them all. Did you forget one?
“Well girls…let’s see what else you got!”
>You throw the sheet off the gift and take the top off the box.
“…Who the Zog are you?”

>>42545654
>He, as you gather from his high but a bit raspy voice, looks down his little snout at you.
>”I’m Discord.”
>”What’s a Discord?” Celestia asks.
>He narrows his eyes in impish annoyance. “I’m a Discord!”
>”Why art thou in our Chrissy Mas gifts?”
>”Oh…I knew I was forgetting something.” Discord reaches into the box he came in while his rear floats into the air and carries him with it.
>Oh great. He can float.
>The child presents a letter to you. “I couldn’t read it.”
>You take the letter and give it a once over.
>”Hey partner! I saw how well you were taking care of the girls and was hoping you could take in this one as well. He’s been lonely since he popped up and I think he and the girls can become fast friends. His favorite food is chocolate milk and he hates bedtime. Work in the galaxy is going well, but one of my creations is causing a ruckus! I’ll never make skeletons again! Give the girls all my love and keep that disposition we all love so much! Signed, Red.”
>You blink twice reading the letter again while Discord cleans his ear out and smells it.
“…Girls. This is Discord. He’s going to be living with us from now on.”
>The girls take a long gasp of air behind you and look each other in the eyes with big smiles.
>”WE GOT A LITTLE BROTHER!” they exclaim.
>”Wait what-“
>Discord gets no further before the girls leap over your shoulders and embrace him, nuzzling his face in a hug-pile and probably smothering him.
>”Blech! Ew! Ach! Get off! I’m the big brother! THE BIG BROTHER!”
>You sat there watching the revelry still looking over the letter.
>Just like your partner to gift you a boatload of work for the holidays.

>>42545659
>”And that, Twilight Sparkle, is why you find me here today.” Discord says, munching on a cookie on the couch next to Anonymous.
>You shoot an annoyed scowl at Anon.
“You could have told me Discord was your adoptive son.”
>Anonymous shrugs. “He doesn’t like me advertising it.”
>You glance over to Discord.
“I find that hard to believe, Discord loves an audience.”
>Discord munches on another cookie and opens one eye at you. “While it may be true that I am often…GRANDIOSE-“
>”Especially when you were younger.” Anonymous says.
>”-yes, especially then. While I may have been known to be grandiose, I will have you know that he is telling the truth. I mean can you imagine what it would do to my reputation if ponies knew I had a perfectly normal and boring father? Not to mention the commotion it would bring to his doorstep…”
>You cock an eyebrow.
“You’re actually protecting him?”
>Discord sighs and considers the distance for a moment. “You cannot live with someone for the formative years of your life and have them be an ever-present nugget in the back of your mind without developing a rapport, Twilight.”
>That was not the answer you expected. You watch the old man and the Draconequus shoot idle glances at the other and send light elbow jabs out between held back chuckles.
>”He’s a softie underneath all the fur, Twilight.” Anonymous says.
“I’m sure…”
>A timer in the kitchen rings and Anonymous and Discord jump to their feet.
>”The cookies!”
>”Twilight help us save this batch! They’re almost perfect!”
“What do you mean sa-AHHH!”
>Discord pulls you in a magic grip as the two rush to the kitchen and enlist you in their father-son cooking brigade, whether you liked it or not.
>Maybe now you understand where Discord gets that from.

Where are you living.

>>42546317
I don't condone city living.

>>42546317
Somewhere on the ground on the opposite side of the mountain from where a physically impossible city is being held to the face of the cliff by magic and is one dispel away from The Final Toboggan Race.

>>42546517
wait what
hold on, that whole-ass city relies on magic to remain structurally stable?
Like, I've always imagined curved steel reinforcements inserted through holes drilled in the stone to allow for such a momentum to be resisted

>>42546550
Well, artist interpretation can get in the way of things, but you have to remember: This is millions of tons of city glued to the slope of a mountain. Steel reinforcements aren't going to mean shit. They'd buckle under their own weight if they were extensive enough to hold up Canterlot. Now look at that picture again. Do you see how much of that shit is straight hanging off into the air, and how far? No supports in the first place, but I'll also guarantee you that if there were they still wouldn't work at the angles involved no matter how deeply embedded they were(don't forget there are massive hollow cave complexes in the mountain too, which would sour anchoring attempts). In-show things looked a bit more reasonable, with some of the city proper on a plateau shelf of some kind(carved or natural). Even with that concession, the original point still stands. This is all before getting to the point of remembering that these are magical ponies, with wizards and shit, and strange takes on engineering that were developed around the notion that you had magic and didn't have to account for all physical interactions directly.

So yes, Canterlot would be pants-shittingly terrifying to live in(or in the path of), and I don't care how long it's stayed up without issue.

>>42546317
-IN LIVING C-C-COLOR

>>42546317
Wherever I please.

>>42546517
They move the sun and the moon and you’re worried about a city? A small one at that?

>>42546754
Holy moly. Thank you for the clarification, I uh, did not realize the sheer weight of the side off the cliff. Not to mention expansive caves are a sign of compromised foundational integrity that indicates not to distribute too much pressure on that ground. I also hate how the castle itself complicates things further, being so far from the mountainside. It's pretty much granted that as soon as it falls with some extra blocks, it will cause a landslide to collapse larger amounts of city. While I do believe that correct applications of steel cables can fix it, they didn't have that technology in the show. Yea, without magic, Canterlot's fucked. I think if someone could knock Celestia unconscious, there'd be a decent chance that more than half the administrative center of the state gets washed away.

Just two more weeks...

>>42548868
He’s in deep space dog, traveling at ultra light speed. It’s only been a few hours for him

>>42546754
Thanks Mr autistic building code manager

>>42548215
They have trains but not steel cabling?

>>42549836
They probably have it, but there's none on Canterlot, and where would you anchor it all?
>>42548215
>I think if someone could knock Celestia unconscious, there'd be a decent chance that more than half the administrative center of the state gets washed away.
The spells involved are surely longer-lasting than that, and there's probably a unicorn maintenance corps that refreshes the spell supports regularly, especially since the unicorn population's not raising the sun and moon anymore ever since the princesses started to do it.
It's probably the case that if disaster was coming, you'd have a week or so to evacuate before the spells started to pop and thing began to buckle.

>>42550123
Any supports are probably made of Adamantine, the metal they made toe doors to Tartarus out of

>>42550837
NO ONE KEKS LIKE GASTON