Thread 127314080

Marking time (actually a computer marks it for them) they play the music equivalent of baseball's play-me-or-trade me. I played, now I'm trading. C-

damn i hope we don't all die in World War III because Reagan done pushed the Russians too far

Christgau spammer made this thread because he couldn't post in the 1953 thread

THE METAL IS BACK!

Hey I just bought a Commodore 64 at Sears wanna trade game disks with me?

>>127314138
shut up, nerd

If a woman wants to sell herself as a sex fantasy I'll take a free ride--as long as the fantasy of it remains out front, so I don't start confusing image with everyday life. But already she's so sure of herself she's asking men and women both to get the hots for the calculating bitch who sells the fantasy even while she bids for the sincerity market where long-term superstars ply their trade. And to make the music less mechanical (just like Bowie, right?), she's hired Nile Rodgers, who I won't blame for making it less catchy. B

She's not unusual.
She's a Blue Angel.

hey wanna trade bootleg Iron Maiden tapes in Budapest with me?

holy shit

>>127314211
Shut up commie.

The head journeyman's cameo on Aid For Africa reminded me of what I'd missed, which was the aural equivalent of gastroenteritis. Pat Boone never learned his lesson, so why should Steve Perry? Oversinging signifies not soul, but will and desperation. Upped a notch for good intentions and in case Sam Cooke has finally taught him a lesson this time. C

Heavy metal's excuse for existing is its status as the generic expression of a white-male-adolescent underclass, but these five devotees of "the American work ethic" from an affluent Seattle suburb buy none of that--they're into selling. They woodshedded for two years, avoiding the seamy bar circuit in their pursuit of the rock and roll dream, which is of course a big contract. And when they got it they gave two weeks notice on their day jobs like the second-generation managers they are. What EMI paid for was the operatic tenor of Geoff Tate emoting "fantasy" lyrics over hyped-up, new-metal tempos, and if you think the brand name panders to sexism and fascism, you're free to set up picket lines for as long as the First Amendment remains in force. D

>>127314296
>Heavy metal's excuse for existing is its status as the generic expression of a white-male-adolescent underclass
Wait isn't this the guy who worships punk?

Like the cocky high speed of the brazenly redundant "Baby I'm a Star," the demurely complaisant "Thank you" that answers "You're sheer perfection" signals an artist in full formal flower, and he's got something to say. Maybe even a structure: the frantic self-indulgence of "Let's Go Crazy" gives way to a bitter on-again-off-again affair that climaxes in the loving resignation of the title song--from in-this-life-you're-on-your-own to in-this-life-heaven-is-other-people (and-you're-still-on-your-own). But insofar as his messages are the same old outrageous ones, they've lost steam: "1999" is a more irresistible dance lesson for the edge of the apocalypse than "Let's Go Crazy," "Head" and "Jack U Off" more salacious than the groundout "Darling Nikki." He may have gained maturity, but like many grown-ups before him, he gets a little blocked making rebel-rock out of it. A-

FLASH BEFORE MY EYEESSSSS

Gracie keeps up with the times: in 1974 she called her sludge-rock Manhole, and if her silicon-pop title doesn't have quite as sharp a reverse-sexist twist it's because the ensuing decade has done more for her amour-propre than for her IQ. She demonstrates her usual staunchness of principle with an amazingly dumb piece of satire or something which takes on EKGs and electric blankets but not Linn Drums. And is that Gracie singing "Through the window through the window/I could almost touch the pane"? Rhymes with "I was in the pouring rain," doesn't it? C-

I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE
SOMEBODY'S WATCHING MEEEEE
AND I GOT NO PRIVACY
WHOAA OOHHH OHHH

For an art rocker turned international pop star of the month, Collins is not nearly as hateable as he might be. In fact he's not hateable at all between his self-deprecating videos and good taste in business associates (better Philip Bailey than, say, Steve Perry). But it's going to take more than just a stupid love song to win me over. Then factor in the utterly unsurprising lyrics and arrangements and you find yourself wondering just why this is considered a mein of Britpop voices. Because nobody ever wondered what it sounded like unfiltered? C

>>127314459
SO TAKE A LOOK AT ME NAAAOOOWWWW

Italo disco is the future.
https://youtu.be/C_nTg_Ss3lk

FREEWHEEL BURNING
FREEWHEEL BURNING

>>127314508
It is indeed.

>>127314217
Second rate Slayer rip off.
And at least the singer in Slayer doesn't sound like Cookie Monster!
(And I mean California Slayer, NOT the Texas band)

I hate to belabor the obvious (that's Al's job) but this is Mad Magazine for the ears. Nevertheless, Mad does on occasion hit it dead-on and (with a lot of help from its target) so does "Eat It", while "Polkas in 45" goes Joe Piscopo ten times better and "Mr. Popeil" exploits Al's otherwise fatal resemblance to Fred Schneider. C

>>127314384
What do you wanna bet that in less than 20 years from now, she'll turn her back on music for good?
(But not before a failed Jefferson Airplane reunion)

>>127314660
>..this is Mad Magazine for the ears
For once, Christacuck got it right!
Just makes me like Weird Al even more.

They're singing as good as ever, but not the same as ever--with the harmonies more luxurious and soulful, they can finally pass for grown men as they approach fifty. Unfortunately, maturity doesn't suit them any better than Dave Edmunds's lacquered, interpretation-enhancing production, because mature interpretation will never be their forte. They may sound like grown men and they may sound soulful, but that doesn't mean they sound like soulful grown men--a certain emotional complexity eludes them. Of all these hand-tailored comeback-special songs, only Paul Kennerly's "The First in Line" and Don's own "Asleep" are simple enough to fit. C+

PUNK IS DEAD, AND HENRY ROLLINS KILLED IT!
WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE SECOND RATE BLACK SABBATH RIP OFF BULLSHIT ON SIDE TWO?

This shit aint "Hardcore".
This is ust stripped down Steely Dan.
Fuck, they even cover a Steely Dan song, as well as a Creedance Clearwater Revival song.
This shit aint punk in the least.
Aint nobody ever gonna remember these guys.
Not even a good potential television show theme in this collection of songs.

Who would have thunk it? With Tommy producing again after five years, these teen-identified professionals (mean age: thirty-three) make a great album, with the cleansing minimalism of their original conception evoked and honestly augmented rather than recycled--just like their unjudgmental fondness for their fellow teen-identifieds. This time the commercial direction is more metal than pop, but satanists they ain't: just as Joey came up with punk's most useful anti-KKK song, here Dee Dee comes up with punk's most useful anti-Reagan song. Dee Dee also imitates Bugs Bunny on steroids on two well-placed hardcore parodies and provides the first single's salutory lyrical hook: "I want to steal from the rich and give to the poor." A

A punk rock opera?
Only side two is hardcore.
The rest is rather psychedelic.

It's just no the same without Ike.
I don't believe those false rumors tat he beat her.
Give it up, little missie.
It's time to retire.
They won't even pick you as an extra for a film, at this point.
Ike made you, and the whole world knows it.

Side one is pure up, and not only that, it sticks to the ears: their pop move avoids fluff because they're heavy and schlock because they're built for speed, finally creating an all-purpose mise-en-scene for Brother Eddie's hair-raising, stomach-churning chops. Side two is consolation for their loyal fans--a little sexism, a lot of pyrotechnics, and a standard HM bass attack on something called "House of Pain." B+

Time to pack it in.
Screaming for Vengeance was your last good album.
Just as weak, and limp wristed as Rob Halford's limp wrist.
(No that isn't a "Biker" look. The guy smokes cocks!)

You don't even wanna know what's gonna happen to this Kurt Cobain fella in the sizzling summer of 92

OUT IN THE STREET
IS WHERE WE'LL MEET
YOU MAKE THE NIGHT
I ALWAYS CROSS THE LINE

Ian left Black Sabbath for this?
Well, it looks like Deep Purple is back, and Black Sabbath is finished for good.
(Unless they get Ozzy back, of course, but I'm not holding my breath)

Eno has shaped this record to accentuate Bono's wild romantic idealism, and while I prefer his moral force I have to admit that the two are equally beguiling to contemplate and dangerous to take literally. The romanticism gets out of hand with the precious expressionism of "Elvis Presley and America" (enough to make the King doubt this boy's virility), the moralism with the turn-somebody-else's-cheek glorification of Martin Luther King's martyrdom (death stings plenty where I live). But he gets away with it often enough to make a skeptic believe temporarily in miracles. B+

#BERNARD GOETZ DID NOTHING WRONG

Depleted by the kind of corporate strife I thought these guys were too cynical to fall for (which may be why they did), Henry Rollins's adrenalin gives out. The consequent depression is so monumental that even Greg Ginn succumbs, adding only one classic to his catalogue of noise solos ("The Swinging Man") and grinding out brain-damaged cousins of luded power chords behind the three dirges that waste side two. But things do start off manically enough, with the title tune (refrain: "You're one of them") and five minutes of Henry explaining why he smiles so much (which I never noticed). B-

This not-great George Jones record should reassure anybody who was worried he'd never make another decent one without hitting the bottle again. First side leads off with messages to wives of various periods, second with a Jones-penned chestnut that happens to be the title of his new bio, a great pseudofolksong (or maybe it's real, which is what makes it great), and a very cheerful explanation of why he'll never hit the bottle again. We believe you, George. B

>>127317250
>>127317232
worthless spam

>>127317250
ha ha the index cards represent all of his exes XD

>>127314138
ONLY SEXLESS NERDS OWN A COMPUTER

>>127317337
Besides for all the hype around the Macintosh everyone's saying the thing is just an overpriced toy.

Too bad really; he should have done Teach Me Tonight about 25 years earlier. His almost 70 year old voice doesn't quite deliver.

Morrissey's slightly skewed relationship to time and pitch codes his faint melodies at least as much as Johnny Marr's much-heralded real guitar. What's turned him into an instant cult hero, though, is his slightly unskewed relationship to transitory sex--the boy really seems to take it hard. If you'll pardon my long memory, it's the James Taylor effect all over again--hypersensitivity seen as a spiritual achievement rather than an affliction by young would-be idealists who have had it to here with the cold cruel world. B-

BAAAWNNNNN ENNN THE EUUUUESSSSAAYYYY

>>127314508
That's not Italo Disco, that's Hi-NRG you goof.

Those still looking for the perfect garage may misconstrue this band's belated access to melody as proof they've surrendered their principles. Me, I'm delighted they've matured beyond their strange discovery of country music. Bands like this don't have roots, or principles either, they just have stuff they like. Which in this case includes androgyny (no antitrendie reaction here) and Kiss (forgotten protopunks). Things they don't like include tonsillectomies and answering machines, both of which they make something of. A+

>>127317440
>Bands like this don't have roots, or principles either, they just have stuff they like.
That is not a good thing btw, that thinking was what started the plague of buttindie bands who just wear aesthetics like a Halloween costume.

Greatest album of 1984 coming thru.

>>127317372
Also a very overrated meme album.

What makes Bowie a worthy entertainer is his pretensions, his masks, the way he simulates meaning. He has no special gift for convincing emotions or good tunes--when he works at being "merely" functional he's merely dull, or worse. With Nile Rodgers gone, the dance potential of the second album of his professional phase is negligible, and he's favoring the tired usages that have been the downfall of an entire generation of English twits. In this setting, not even Leiber-Stoller's long-neglected "I Keep Forgetting" makes much of an impression. C

>>127317470
Speaking of rootless aesthetic shoppers.

I hate living in Seattle, the music scene here is shit. LA is where it's happening when it comes to rock n roll \m/

>>127314080 (OP)
M-m-m-motherfuckin rats

>>127317486
The best you can do is Quarterflash I guess.

>>127317810
And Queensryche maybe?

>>127317440
Overrated album.

>>127317810
>>127317849
It just sucks. There will never be any good music to come out of here :(

They're sure to disagree (what else are they good for?) But despite the clanging brutality of their late-industrial guitars and the sincerity of their manic (if hackneyed) depression, in the end the music merely serves as a vehicle for their usual sociopathic fantasies and the result isn't ugly or ominous or bombs-bursting-in-the-air, it's merely interesting. B-

>>127317396
lrn2hooks, boys

Imperceptible though the movement has been to many sensitive young people, Springsteen has evolved. In fact, this apparent retrenchment is his most rhythmically propulsive, vocally incisive, lyrically balanced, and commercially undeniable album. Even his compulsive studio habits work for him: the aural vibrancy of the thing reminds me like nothing in years that what teenagers loved about rock and roll wasn't that it was catchy or even vibrant but that it just plain sounded good. And while Nebraska's one-note vision may be more left-correct, my instincts (not to mention my leftism) tell me that this uptempo worldview is truer. Hardly ride-off-into-the-sunset stuff, at the same time it's low on nostalgia and beautiful losers. Not counting the title powerhouse, the best songs slip by at first because their tone is so lifelike: the fast-stepping "Working on the Highway," which turns out to be about a country road gang: "Darlington County," which pins down the futility of a macho spree without undercutting its exuberance; and "Glory Days," which finally acknowledges that among other things, getting old is a good joke. A+

>>127318102
that took a lot of airbrushing to remove all the lines and creases from her 50-something mug

As minstrelsy goes, this is as good-natured as it gets (and minstrelsy it had better be). The reason why it doesn't quite come off as good-natured can be found in this mysterious observation from spokesperson Flea: "Grandmaster Flash and Kurtis Blow have great raps but not the great music to go along with." Coming from a bassist, that's some serious delusion. B-

>>127318195
Fuck this band.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOOOOLLLLLLLLSSSSSS

>>127317161
The coke is getting to Iommi by this point.

>>127318279
yeah Sabbath had their day back 10-12 years ago but they can't compete with Maiden or Metallica at this point

>>127317470
I think he also had his heyday 10-12 years ago and it's time to stop.

Both sides are unimpeachably sensible and unfailingly pleasant; except for the closer, each of the ten tunes paces proudly by in full confidence that it will set you humming. Yet as reported, the proceedings are a little, shall we say, somnolent, which I blame not just on a voice whose deep satisfactions are best appreciated in the company of brighter and flightier ones but on a drummer who isn't Mick and a bassist who isn't John. B+

>>127314177
Has he ever had sex?

Funk pioneers in the early '70s, crossover pioneers in the early '80s, and don't blame yourself if this impressive double play missed you coming and going--anonymity is their signature. When I undertook a professional reexamination of their latest piece of platinum, I was surprised to recognize all three hits on side one from the radio. Quite liked "Misled," sort of liked "Fresh," rather disliked "Cherish"--and had never wondered who did any of them. B-

I GOT IT BAD, SO BAADDDD
I'M HOT FOR TEACHEEERRRR

I was in a secondhand shop last Saturday and they had a bunch of those old corny-ass 50s records like Patti Page and Les Paul and Mary Ford. Wow can you believe our mothers used to listen to that stuff? We've come a long way, man.

>>127317161
Actually came out in 83.

Physical gifts and technical accomplishments tempt a singer to overdramatize--Annie Lennox makes altogether too big a deal of punching the sofa. But even if she isn't, well, "cooler than ice cream" (really), I'm glad she's normal enough to want to be. If it's high-grade schlock you seek, this'll do as well as early Quarterflash. And Lennox has better hair. B

>>127319210
>And Lennox has better hair
Nah.

Hype is a word I try to use no more normatively than I do guitar--one's almost as intrinsic to rock and roll as the other. And this is a truly great hype. We're not just talking spectacularly entertaining, like the dripping labia of Mom's Apple Pie, or spectacularly profitable, like the Monkees, or both, like the "Thriller" video. We're talking hype as primary signifier, as a carrier of rich, profound, and potentially subversive meanings. I love the hype right down to the album package, and will even grant that the appalling quality of the band's music enriches the meaning further. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be caught dead telling anybody to listen to it. The singles side is okay--"Relax" has proven itself a fetching fuck-mantra, "Two Tribes" is fair-to-middling political art. But on the whole Frankie are a marginally competent arena-rock band who don't know how to distinguish between effeminacy and pretension, like an English Grand Funk gone disco. Follow the ads by all means. Watch the videos. And steal these inner sleeves. C

I know, no point complaining about these grizzled dildos--it's only corporate metal. But shouldn't their merger at least produce a decent name for a law firm? D

TEMPERATURES RISE INSIDE
MY SUGAR WALLS

>>127319863
Prince started the bad trend of making pop lyrics way too on-the-nose where sex was concerned.

I WANT A NEW DRUG
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ME SICK
ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ME CRASH MY CAR
OR MAKE ME FEEL THREE FEET THICK

MTV is hosting an award show called the VMAs, what do you expect?

Almost 100 replies, and nobody even mentioned it.

>>127320384
based

>>127318021
Definitely won the hard rock/metal part of that year

Now this one really makes you listen and its shapes and electro-symphonic textures never once scream Eagles remake. Then blame the turgid song lengths, tough-guy sentimentality, and "Women are the only works of art" on the auteur, who still thinks perfect love is when you're crazy and she screams. B-

>>127322649
Someone quoted the title track, actually

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

'84?
Steel Panther and Metallica.

'84?
Steel Panther and Metallica.

If there's a new way to go Hollywood, Glenn'll find it. His latest was about to die a quick death on the charts when Beverly Hills Cop rescued "The Heat Is On." Then Miami Vice keyed an episode to "Smuggler's Blues", a far better piece of DMSR, I might add, than anything on this smarmy piece of sexist pseudosoul (the anti-Soviet "Better In The U.S.A." doesn't count because the main thing that seems to be better is making out). Bingo, instant gold. C

THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE
GOIN' AROUND TOWN
WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

>>127323284
Pest Busters!

>>127323284
Ha ha what if 32 years from now we did a woke remake of...and it had a bunch of fat lesbians that...

>>127314718
dude i was at a Black Flag show and that hack Rollins was heckling the opening band, and he got so pissed off that they were ignoring him that he fucking grabbed the singer's crotch

i think they jumped the shark with this self-indulgent piece of shit

Pop is such a plastic concept that to call this a pop comeback just confuses things--with its clean, bold, Martin Rushent sound and confident basic chopswomanship, it shares less with Beauty and the Beat than with, oh, Sports (and less than Bananarama does, too). In other words, it's an AOR move (with top-forty goals assumed). Lyrically, it represents a retreat--no place for sly subcultural anthems among these straightforward love songs (really relationship songs), which while sensible enough are never acute or visionary (or thematically consistent/complementary). And having peeled away several layers of resistance, I find the record thrilling. Its expressive enthusiasm gives me the same good feeling I used to get from their musical godmothers in Fanny--a sense of possibility that might touch women who are turned off by more explicit politics, and that these women are strong enough to put into practice. A-

The girl-group version of Tony Swain and Steve Jolley's black harmony trio, Imagination, Bananarama suffer from Swain-Jolley's characteristically detached mix, which sounds dreamy when Leee Johns is coming on and untouchably dreamlike when these lucky lasses blend their voices in song. They also suffer from the songs, which despite their solid hooks don't give you much to grab onto either. B-

>>127317332
With, or without the make up and the stage show, KISS ALWAYS SUCKED!
Time to retire, boys.
Your music always sucked, and nobody cares for your schtick.

Unlike most of her cocharting cofemales, Ullman has undertaken a conscious genre exercise--she plays girl-group tradition for naive if not dumb passivity. The songs new and old are tuneful and right, the production exquisitely not-quite-schlocky, but just-compare her "Bobby's Girl" to Marcie Blaine's original--Ullman sings with too much force and skill to make the conceit convincing. On the other hand, it's probably her musical conscience that saves the project from unmitigated "ironic" condescension. "They Don't Know" did hit at face value, after all. B+

>>127324142
The woman who would be eaten by a fucking cartoon.

>>127317440
Hootenanny was their last good album.
They've been going downhill since Tim.
Nobody's going to remember these guys in ten years.
They should quit music, get married, and raise families, like all good Minnesotans do.

>>127323284
My! lawyer!

>>127317973
I live in The East Village, and a big Sonic Youth fan.
I've never seen tis album before.
Is it a bootleg?
And do tey actually cover Bad Moon Rising?
Sonic Youth covering CCR would be cool, just like The Minutemen.

>>127319328
This is a great band, and a great album.
Much better than that Asia shit.
This is a super group that truly deserves the title.
I'm sure their personal egos won't get in the way of making great music.
I can't wait to se them in concert.
I'm sure they're going to be around for a long time.

The title cut is someone who learned about sex from movies. "Black Coffee" takes this whole antidrug thing too far. "Rat's Eyes" cries out in agony for Sabbath's chops. "Wound Up" could be tighter. "Obliteration" is an ace accompanyist's solo turn. "The Bars" isn't about prison or saloons. "My Ghetto" is an outtake from the rant side of Damaged. "You're Not Evil" is right on. C

>>127324274
>"Rat's Eyes" cries out in agony for Sabbath's chops
damn that's on the nose

>>127324142
Accurate. You have to play the bubblehead for this format to work properly.

>>127323284
Why does this sound so much like. >>127321615 ?

f there's a new way to go Hollywood, Glenn'll find it. His latest was about to die a quick death on the charts when Beverly Hills Cop rescued "The Heat Is On." Then Miami Vice keyed an episode to "Smuggler's Blues", a far more Eagleworthy (and whoever thought Eagleworthy would someday be a compliment?) piece of DMSR than anything on this smarmy piece of sexist pseudosoul (the anti-Soviet "Better In The U.S.A." doesn't count because the main thing that seems to be better is making out). Bingo, instant gold. C

>>127324142
As a comedienne, she's not funny.
As a singer/musician, she has no talent.
The only reason she's getting all the attention is because one of The Beatles is in her video.
Fuck, she couldn't even indirectly launch a cartoon series if her life depended on it.

>>127324274
>>127317232
Tastelet as usual shits on the best tracks on these.

>>127319210
Lacks a single and is a bit dull.

>>127324355
Fucking 80s car commercial music.