Thread 127373348

>knows nothing about jazz
>knows nothing about classical
>knows nothing outside of the anglosphere
>only ever reviews rap, popslop and indie crap, aside from the occasional rym-approved classic album
why do you care what he has to say again?

>>127373348 (OP)
because /mu/ knows nothing about jazz, classical anything outside of the anglosphere, and only likes rap, popslop and indie crap, aside from the occasional rym-approved classic album

>>127373348 (OP)
Because people are retarded. They want to be more knowledgable about music but they arent passionate enough to dig so they turn to pop videos because they think pop videos answer all of their questions. So it ends with them learning from oxymorons.

You know /mu/ losers are just seething jealous that he is THE arbiter of music taste, people here would saw off their left nut to have half the people hanging on their every opinion that he does.

>indie
He doesn't even know anything about Indie desu
Was too often he shits on Indie Darlings for being Song Writing Focused which is his weakness as he sucks ass at analyzing Lyrics

>>127373348 (OP)
and don't forget the glowing metal album reviews he had to delete because the creators were too "problematic" and then had the audacity to make a post about how people on the right are incapable of creating good art.

>>127373348 (OP)
I don't.

>>127373422
>how people on the right are incapable of creating good art.
I mean he's not wrong.

>>127373553
>I mean
for your own sake, avoid starting a sentence with that expression
it makes you sound both insecure and passive-agressive
just say what you mean

>>127373579
this
just tell it like it is

>>127373553
and yet he was gushing about the albums until he found out the creators were "chuds". do you realize how petulant, embarrassing, and ideologically poisoned that is?

>>127373485
/thread

funny retards around here hating on christgau meanwhile same people make tons of fantano threads and posts. cringe and funny
>>127373408
he never reached the heights of people like christgau or john peel

>>127373579
This

>>127373821
What heights did Christgau reach? Being a goofy dumbshit with random ass /mu/ losers reposting his drivel?

>>127373891
him like peel had actual historical knowledge of different genres unlike the mu critic fantano. and a reminder mu lost their shit when the guy gave a 10 to the tranny store

>>127373377
this, fantano has always been a good representation of the average /mu/tard, he just likes to pretend he isn't which is why he's pretentious

>>127373682
not all of them were chuds but yeah he's still a self-contradictory coward

>>127373891
he was goofy but he has 10 times the influence so he wins

>>127374205
>>127373919
How's that Fantano's fault? He's not Cuckgau, Bangs, or Marcus he didn't live in a time when cutting edge albums were coming out every month. The best he has to review are Drake, and, like Ariana Grande or something.

Hate this bald cocksucker

>>127374509
I completely understand. He never sucks my cock right, either.

>>127373387
> oxymorons

>>127374475
He doesn't review music, he knows very little about music, he just engages in character worship, dramafagging and social posturing under the guise assigning objective judgements to art. He doesn't review great art he reviews things that have had hype generated about them, which only occasionally also happens to be great art but he doesn't have the mind to see. He can only see the stories he can think to tell about various music and whether he likes the sound of those stories

>>127374475
who said anything about fault, cuckgau is older and has been in major publications, it's just a fact not a blame game

at least Fantano isn't that schizo anon who rants about 50s pop

>>127374575
>>127374475
its noat about if you're old enough to review influential/important records. its about being a hack about the coverage you give of the music of your time. did you see most of the content reviewed by him? he's being a hack

>>127374614
i think they're both hacks for what it's worth, i was never arguing that

>>127374614
>Its about being a hack about the coverage you give of the music of your time. did you see most of the content reviewed by him? he's being a hack

Not that anon but if I had to review Drake or Ariana Grande I would be hard pressed to rate anything above a C and that's being generous.

>>127374475
The reviewer makes the times.

>>127374625
The issues aren't so much that the releases are shit (which they are) it's that he doesn't actually go into why.

>>127373348 (OP)
Buy an ad, fagtano

So what's Fantano gonna do now that he can't get USAID checks anymore?

>>127374693
This, his grade rankings are rarely the problem, it's that his reviews are rarely reviews, they're a mix of sassy insults and diary entries.

>>127374614
>>127374693
>>127374771
This is hilarious with Christgau mentioned as a foil to Fagtano. His 'reviews' are little more than illogical rambling. He doesn't give any depth, insight, or seem knowledgeable about anything.

>>127374836
I completely agree, he sucks too, but at least he tries to stay on topic

>>127373348 (OP)
Because he's a faggy "content creator", not a genuine music critic (very low bar), and music education is at an all-time low, so he attracts millions of retarded kids.

>>127374836
Yes, christgau does. Also he wrote little reviews for a matter of limited space in the village voice
It's pretty funny the amount of fantano whiteknights bitches defending him, like this idiot >>127374916

>>127375463
I wasn't defending him you mouthbreather subhuman, get a high school diploma.

>>127373348 (OP)
Why do you need a reviewer to know about literally every genre of music. It's impossible for one thing. Reviewers are subjective and they're always going to have their own perspective and bias. You don't got to Fantano to learn Classical reordings or Indonesian Gamelan you go for the things you mentioned

>>127373348 (OP)
i never did? i wouldn't even waste my time on an ironic thread about this retard. i don't listen to any critics from any industry, why would i?

>but at least he tries to stay on topic
Lool

>>127373408
Normies need someone else to think for them, that's why he is popular.
But music is entirely subjective, and arguing about music is as pointless as dancing about architecture.

>>127373821
>Most popular online music reviewer will never reach the heights of these two retards

Fantanochads..... our response?

>>127374555
Why do people do this? Can you give some examples of this behavior? Fantano constantly says "this is just my opinion and how I feel about the album btw". You are such a fucking pseud lmao

Kid can't lift. He's a fake

Please stop giving him attention

I couldn't give a shit about fagtano but here we go again with jazz/classical fags think they hover above the rest with their music taste

Jazz and classical is music for old men. Why are old men hanging around /mu/? Because they're pedophiles.

Every single post claiming to like jazz or classical is made by some 50-yr-old creeper trying to groom twinks.

good luck getting Fantano to discuss the Carter Family or Helen Merrill, but you can be sure he'll always be there to review Sabrina Carpenter

>>127373348 (OP)
He is the only guy filling the music reviewer niche thats why people care. He is not even a multi instrumentalist his reviews are so bad and surface level.
"well the lyrics seem dark i guess kinda maybe"
and thats it, its retard shit anyeone can figure out in 10 seconds. As far as i know he is a bassist (lmaooooo) probably more medicore than i am because at least i try. Pretentious ass poseur takes you far if you fill a niche that is not filled.

>>127379151
>He is the only guy filling the music reviewer niche thats why people care
well i mean 50s schizo anon is the only poster on /mu/ who fills his particular niche but he's still a schizo and de trop

>>127377014
him saying that doesn't goes against what that anon said
>>127379176
its not only one guy that discuss 50's music, schizo

>the amount of retards here defending in some degree fantano
LOL. no surprise considering mu fell for death grips shilling

>>127375463
Yeah, Christgau's short "Consumer Guide" reviews are pretty worthless, but he was capable of writing long-form pieces as well. As much of a cuck fag as he is, that puts him leagues above Fantano. Now that people exclusively consume video, they've forgotten the value of organizing and exploring your thoughts through long-form text.

Because mutards and Fantano are mirror images of each other despite Fantanos best efforts to also be as reddit as possible.

>>127379042
>t. projecting pedo that want kids to be into his favorite diaper disaster dadrock instead

>>127378975
Objectively they do

>>127375950
Then maybe he shouldn't call himself "the internet's busiest music nerd" and instead of that something like "the internet's busiest rym slop/hip-hop faggot".

>>127378975
They do. Jazz and classical are statistically more likely to appeal to people with higher IQs, the ability to read music, and/or the skill to play at least one instrument well. IF someone's going to posture as an authority on music in general , you'd expect them to engage with this repertoire at least occasionally, if not commit fully. And no, don't give me that "it's just le his subjective opinion" nonsense dodge; once you're making videos and publishing them online, you've at least half-committed to the role of tastemaker.

>>127381254
Prog replaced classical

>>127381282
Your real mother replaced you with a baby who isn't retarded.

>>127381298
>Ad hominem
Won't change reality that prog undeniably outdid everything in classical music that was ever written. You can cope but you can not deny it's just 4/4 slop for rich retards tat the time

>>127381306
>you can not deny it's just 4/4 slop for rich retards tat the time
Yeah, apart from the thousands of pieces where there are time signatures ranging from 2/4, 3/4 and 6/8 to odd and quickly changing ones, such as pic related, and of course all the music that wasn't made for the wealthy, but rather for the bourgeoisie (the main patron and target audience for the vast majority of classical music after 1800), oh and the Church (the main patron for the medieval and renaissance eras). But yeah, other than that "it's just 4/4 slop for rich retards".
On a more serious note, I can easily deny that because I'm not a completely retarded, musically and historically illiterate, peak Dunning-Kruger faggot such as yourself. I bet you can't even read music, let alone understand it.
Wonder why retarded /mu/fags feel the need to confidently speak about something that's way, way above their pay grade. It's not a competition, you know? Just listen to your little music and stay in your lane, and you won't get embarrassed.
I can see you're a seething poorfag too, since you're clearly resentful towards the wealthy. You can stop making a fool out of yourself now.

>>127382124
>Yeah, apart from the thousands of pieces where there are time signatures ranging from 2/4, 3/4 and 6/8 to odd and quickly changing ones, such as pic related,
Such creativity! Are classical fags really impressed by this shit in a post-Tool and post-King Crimson world? Do they listen to anything beyond century old tea party music?
>and of course all the music that wasn't made for the wealthy, but rather for the bourgeoisie (the main patron and target audience for the vast majority of classical music after 1800), oh and the Church (the main patron for the medieval and renaissance eras).
Not the rich, but the rich? Are classicalfags retarded? Did your tea party music rot your brain?
> But yeah, other than that "it's just 4/4 slop for rich retards".
Yes, it objectively is

>Wonder why retarded /mu/fags feel the need to confidently speak about something that's way, way above their pay grade. It's not a competition, you know? Just listen to your little music and stay in your lane, and you won't get embarrassed.
He says while being the most embarassing retard on the board kek. Why do you think that the only people who post classical are retarded tranime avatarfags and they're bullied into one general? Claiming that anyone but you is embarassing is hilariously uneducated
>I can see you're a seething poorfag too, since you're clearly resentful towards the wealthy. You can stop making a fool out of yourself now.
It's not my fault the wealthy are a group of nepotistic retards who have no understanding of art or beauty, you are a good example of that

>>127382124
>>127381298
>>127381254
>THEY HAVE FUNNY NUMBERS NEXT TO THE NOTES
is that enough to impress the average classicaltard? not any actual substance but just it looking complex? truly the worst taste on this board

>>127373348 (OP)
Knew he was a scam from the moment he appeared on the screen. When everyone is just so excited and can't wait to see what he says next, awaiting his approval, sorry, that's not sane, it's a cult. It's a scam. He's not smart. At all. He's just here to push new trash.

>>127382428
>>127382439
>Such creativity! Are classical fags really impressed by this shit in a post-Tool and post-King Crimson world? Do they listen to anything beyond century old tea party music?
This has nothing to do with impressing retarded dilettante pseuds such as yourself. It's to disprove your idiotic idea that "it's all just 4/4". It's not and I've proven that with a clear example, and there are hundreds more. But to you, it's all "funny numbers" and "squiggly lines", huh? I'm not surprised you're incapable of reading music. Your opinion doesn't matter.
>Not the rich, but the rich?
The aristocracy, the bourgeoisie, and the Church are three entirely different classes. I realize that to retarded poorfags such as yourself there's no difference, but in reality there is.
You seem extremely insecure and hopelessly retarded. It's fascinating, but I won't bother commenting further.
The funny thing is, your prog heroes are all mostly from the middle class as well. And what's funnier is the fact that many of their heroes are classical composers. Maybe you should be more like them, instead of this retarded caricature who argues for the sake of arguing. You can do better, my friend.

>>127381217
Lol

>>127382504
>huh? I'm not surprised you're incapable of reading music. Your opinion doesn't matter.
Reading music is a sign of not having good enough aural memory to properly understand it without visual cues lmao. You just admitted to having a low musical IQ

>>127382504
You are still more impressed by technical characteristics rather than substance. Which classical has the least of out of all music ever composed.
>The funny thing is, your prog heroes are all mostly from the middle class as well. And what's funnier is the fact that many of their heroes are classical composers. Maybe you should be more like them, instead of this retarded caricature who argues for the sake of arguing. You can do better, my friend.
You can make something good while being inspired by something bad, obviously a nuanceless retard like you is unable to get that

>>127382504
Jesus you fags are the most pretentious retards on the board, this entire post reeks of projection. fuck off back to your general, nobody likes you here just because your very nature is insufferable. this accounts for here and your real life parents and "friends"

Janny blatantly abusing power award

>>127381254
You’re fully committed to the role of tasting deez nuts

>>127383088
Present them.

>>127373408
Fuck off anthony

>>127382124
Pro tip: time signatures are the pulse, not the rhythm.
Time signatures literally only exist so that members of an ensemble keep in sync.
They have zero relevance if you're not playing in an ensemble and as a listener you literally shouldn't give a shit.

(Most "music theory" is similarly absolute bullshit, BTW.)

>>127383184
Dunning-krueger

>>127383184
Pro tip: none of this has anything to do with the content and purpose of my post. I was simply demonstrating that the idea that "it's just 4/4" in classical music is horseshit. That's it. You seem to be making an argument out of nothing, an argument that has nothing to do with anything, and are just arguing for the sake of arguing.
Nobody cares about your "enlightened" theory (see what I did there?) about music theory.

>>127383184
>Time signatures literally only exist so that members of an ensemble keep in sync.
>They have zero relevance if you're not playing in an ensemble and as a listener you literally shouldn't give a shit.
I give a shit about time signatures about as much as I give a shit about chords, intervals, rhythms, or form during the act of listening, which is to say, not much, except insofar as they make my immediate listening experience even better.

Your reading comprehension is shit, BTW.

>>127383395
>>127383443
He's totally wrong anyways. Time signature has nothing to do with playing in a group. At least - not any more than anything else

>knows nothing about jazz
>knows nothing about classical
And the problem is? That shit sucks no matter how much you try to push it

>>127373348 (OP)
>knows nothing outside of the anglosphere
to be fair this is true for most english-speaking reviewers, billboard published a best albums list and the only spanish-speaking entries were daddy yanky and maluma lmao
you are right about your other points

>>127383750
You should consider suicide

>>127373348 (OP)
I will never be able to get too mad at the melon because he introduced me to a bunch of my favorite bands. Thank you melon for telling me about Deaf Grits and Hop Along and Open Mike Eagle.
>inb4 ha ha you had to hear about them from melon

>>127383750
>OOGA BOOGA OOGA

>>127383975
You first, nigga. Nobody likes this shit.

>>127383750
see >>127381254
>>127384221
Demonstrably false. Regardless, it doesn’t matter how "popular" it is among the retarded cattle to which you belong.