Thread 127474114

So we all just have pretend he's a genius. It's pretty fucked up.

>>127474114 (OP)
>pretend

>>127474114 (OP)
>So we all just have pretend he's a genius.
He is. He'd make an excellent music professor. As an actual musician....he should stick to teaching music, not trying to make music.

he just dropped a new track yesterday btw for anyone who's interested

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWFCA5Bbn7M

>>127474286
this made my testicles retract deep inside my body and dissolved them

>>127474286
campfire songs by animal collective did it first

>>127474114 (OP)
The trust fund will run out sooner or later

>>127474286
he thinks he’s sufjan stevens ijbol

>>127475523
Sadly it doesnt...he'll just fade into a comfortable producer role or run a non profit. The Jacob Collier center for children who can't play music good and wanna learn to do other stuff good too.

>>127474259
exactly. those who can't do, teach. jacob can't make a good song to save his life, but he could probably teach a university level course on music theory

>>127474114 (OP)
maybe if ur his mum

>>127474286
Jesus Christ this is terrible. It sounds like a terrible Frank Zappa-knockoff making an equally terrible impression of Sufjan Stevens.

Collier is too culturally illiterate and afraid to lose public to go full avant-garde so he keeps writing shallow saccharine drivel, but he is also too narcissistic to slow down and make something actually earnest and simple.

>>127474114 (OP)
Genius musician, terrible artist. Has a horrifically smug fanbase that usually aren't quite as smart as they seem to think they are — or want to come across as — and tend to fixate on his technical ability, leaning on it as some sort of concrete proof that his work is objectively superior to [insert any other artist here]. Collier represents a depressing window into the way the average normie engages with art imo.
But of course none of this is anything that hasn't been said before. Nothing particularly insightful here. Collier discourse generally feels kinda played out. There isn't much to say about him that hasn't already been discussed at length.

>>127475548
the Collier Academy for Hacks

>>127474114 (OP)
>Le quirky 31 yo >:^O

PDF vibes

>>127474286
he cant sing

>>127474286
pure sonic onions

>>127474286
>racemixing propaganda
into the oven it goes

>>127474286
I wouldn't prefer it. Wouldn't be a go to track, but it may hope in some niche respects. Unique music in it's own right.

>>127475730
>>127475782

>window at how normies engage with art
only part i don't agree with, most popular music manages to be catchier than this

this is for le epic youtube comment-bros (spergs from brazil or something) to engage with, cooped up at home on lithium

>>127476039
This will forever be his greatest sin

>>127474286
the part from 1:44 on is really beautiful
sounds like a technicolor disney cartoon

>>127474286
Collier Challenge: don't be an embarrassing try hard faggot for 3 entire seconds, literal impossible mode

>>127474114 (OP)
theatre kid holocaust when

>>127474114 (OP)
Why are his concerts like 50% him lecturing the audience?

>>127474114 (OP)
He's the Jordan Peterson of music. The people who think he's good and the people who think Jordan Peterson is good are in the same category in terms of intelligence and their susceptibility to being fooled.

>>127474286
His voice makes my skin crawl. I went from being bored out of my mind one second to feeling like I was being molested the next.

>>127474286
I struggle to wrap my head around the fact that some people actually listen to this.

>>127477051
industrial-grade autism

>>127477070
goddamn

>>127474114 (OP)
My mate attends the Sydney conservatorium of music and he did this informal choir thing in the outdoor amphitheatre and I'm annoyed he didn't invite me and our other friend so we could sing really out of tune and ruin it.,

>>127474114 (OP)
I'd rather have to pretend this tard is one, than garbage like kendrick or Sabrina.

>>127474286
>2020
>"wow jacob collier is a fucking hack"
>2024, wins a grammy
>"wow that hack won a fucking grammy?"
>2025
>"wow jacob collier is still a fucking hack"
how is he at all popular

>>127478410
People like an intelligent songwriter type that feels authenticate while still being boring, bland, popular, like charlie puss with a lisp, but at least puth makes some catchy pop music and isnt pretending to be anything

>>127474114 (OP)
I don't know if he's a genius or not, he's definitely passionate about music theory even if he has stupid opinions sometimes, his knowledge great and people like the way he talks about music so i think he could be a very successful educator/professor, his music is just okay.
>>127478392
those two arent even in the conversation

i think it's possible that he is a genius. being a genius isn't that rare. i don't like his music, though.

>>127479655
I'm a genius but not the musical kind. I make weird shit smooth jazz and teach autistic children to read. It is a simple life.

>>127477051
He needs to explain to them that it's not as shit as it sounds, it's actually really clever.

>>127476039
THIS
his pretentious microtonal-avantgarde-pop BS can be almost tolerable here and there (at lest he tries), but his singing? thoroughly abominable

>>127474114 (OP)
idk feels like wherever you go people overwhelmingly shit on him kek

>>127479937
He is mostly the "darling" of journalists and music youtubers. Makes him everpresent in the industry.
That is where the dissonance comes from.
Very few real people like him or his music, but people with a platform constantly try to tell you what a genius and big deal he is.

I just fucking hate this aborted fetus mocking of a person. Souless fuck that accomplish the feat of emptying music of humanity. The same type as Quadeca.

>>127475730
>Collier is too culturally illiterate and afraid to lose public to go full avant-garde so he keeps writing shallow saccharine drivel, but he is also too narcissistic to slow down and make something actually earnest and simple.

>>127474286
Dios mio

>>127479662
smooth jazz is not music

>>127474286
This has to be a deliberate exercise in making the lamest thing possible.
Holy Jesus that was so tragic it was almost comical.

>>127476039
>>127477108
yeah, I don't know how nobody told him that even though his technique is "good" shit just doesn't sound pleasing to the ear
he should stick to composing and arranging, no more singing, even as backup singer or writing

>>127474286
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR FROM THE PINOCCHIO MOVIE

>>127474114 (OP)
genius? idk
it's fucking crazy that he knows more about music than Joni Mitchell, Paul McCartney, Drake, Brian Wilson, Paul Simon, Rick Nielsen, Jimmy Page & Robert Plant, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Maurice White, Burt Bacharach, Angus & Malcom Young, Hank Williams, Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus, Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, and Neil Young put together but he is 100% incapable of writing an interesting and enjoyable song.

>>127477108
It's the worst of both worlds. Someone having a mediocre voice whilst playing a few folk songs in a pub is a kino experience of its own, but when you present yourself as a great musical theorist, historian and generally just a savant-like figure, you should appreciate that your talent at making a piece of music should be complemented by a more talented singer than you could ever hope to be.

>>127476180
>>racemixing propaganda
wut? what are you talking about?

>>127478410
>how is he at all popular

TOTAL GLOBAL STREAMS - Spotify
Top 5 + Sampling of Artists
Count: June 30, 2025

DRAKE..............116,258,330,201
Taylor Swift.........106,061,229,197
Bad Bunny...........102,138,671,039
The Weeknd.........81,377,226,928
Justin Bieber..........61,247,116,977

Ed Sheeran............58,185,470,972
Ariana Grande........57,674,425,818
Eminem...................57,607,934,901
Travis Scott..............57,333,153,897
Kanye West............. 56,011,033,958
Post Malone............. 50,118,866,567
Billie Eilish..................49,137,208,287
Kendrick Lamar.......... 48,783,350,947
Future..........................46,726,777,689
Bruno Mars..................44,839,417,111
BTS..............................43,856,030,225
Ozuna.......................... 41,821,358,868
Coldplay........................39,694,153,465
Nicki Minaj.....................39,139,696,158
Dua Lipa........................37,144,223,653
XXXTENTACION...........36,909,108,839
Imagine Dragons...........35,962,250,118
Anuel AA........................33,520,950,001
Rauw Alejandro..............33,579,169,340
Beyonce..........................30,716,292,960
Feid.................................28,979,292,689
J Cole..............................28,418,350,303
Shawn Mendes...............26,685,746,044
Olivia Rodrigo..................22,684,541,763
Junior H...........................19,992,907,543
$uicideboy$......................18,067,028,608
Arcángel...........................17,808,178,848
Sabrina Carpenter.............16,219,619,473
Stray Kids..........................11,055,064,040
TWICE...............................10,051,764,370
Seventeen............................7,315,629,836
Gracie Abrams......................6,746,330,436
NewJeans.............................6,388,783,856
Tomorrow X Together............5,833,601,762
Chappell Roan.......................5,773,195,941

today:
>Jacob Collier.............................566,430,341

>>127475836
What the actual fuck he's 31 years old???
I thought he was a teen/young adult and his whole gimmick was being a young musical genius
Now I understand all the hate lol

>>127486350
It will be interesting to see how he'll try to cope once he can't ride on the "quirky young genius" look anymore either.

pretty sure that quincy jones took possession of jacobs asshole, its the only thing that can explain why that autistic retard is famous

>>127476350
>spergs from brazil
Nah, nobody here listen to Collier, even the spergs. Even regular Jazz Fusion is not very successful in Brazil, a bad experimental version of it is even more obscure to the public.

>>127483650
OK.

>>127474286
It just sounds like really generic acoustic singer-songwriter slop with a bunch of random harmonies thrown in for no reason.

>>127486350
Nope. He's been a "boy genius" for some 17+ years by now yet never managed to compose a single compelling work.

>>127480343
By the way Orson Welles, differently than Jacob Collier, was a true young genius who made fucking Citizen Kane at 25 years old.

>>127487565
i think the best thing this guy could do is stop singing, stop making popular music, age gracefully and go down the movie composer route, cause he's got industry dick all up in there, might as well use it. not that i would watch the movies that would hire him kek

i think this reditstan comment sums up how spergy and insufferable the entire jacob collier experience is as a fan, and as jacob

>>127474286
shit mix
overcomplicated instrumentation for no reason other than to just be overcomplicated
keep it simple, stupid

>>127474114 (OP)
Quirk chungus.

>>127490990
Martin is very British and polite, as evidenced by that exchange.

>>127490990
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwC0Db7oerM

this one?

lets face it
hes the king of /mu/

>>127491028
That one is him musically masturbating over fix you and making some audience choir thing

But nah the comment is referring to this one:
https://youtu.be/uiYGI0CounQ

I cant tell if Chris Martin gets emotional at Collier’s singing or he’s laughing at how shit it is and covers it up

>>127491179
looks like he's trying not to burst out laughing lol

His hair makes him look like he gets stuffed in lockers

Like I've said, Collier would've been big in the early 90s, since that's the era he's primarily copying.

>>127486187
I think he's referring to the man and the alligator having an implied sexual relationship. There are also cuckold themes about "even though you're off dating (fucking) other guys, I'll be a good cuck and wait for you." Anyway, that was disgusting to listen to and I also hate the androgenous, tiny-head, thick limbs globo-homo art style.

>>127474259
He has an incredible ear but isn't really that notable in terms of knowledge. The ideas he's popularized weren't really that esoteric to begin with and had already come up in multiple iterations in 20th century music.
>>127474286
Bit bombastic for what should be a more intimate sounding piece, but I can't deny that the chorus arrangement is top notch.

>>127474286
This is actually pretty delightful

>>127474286
This person needs to be physically bullied irl

>>127494137
if you think thats bad, go to r/music

He seems like someone who is going to get relentlessly bullied for months but it hasn't happened yet because it's the first day of school and he just got off the bus so literally no one has had the opportunity to bully him yet. He always gives off that energy. It kind of blows my mind that people like him exist. How the fuck does someone manage to be like him and slide by getting harassed? Did he just pick up this persona as an adult? Surely if he were always like this it would have been stomped out of him. It's so weird.

>>127474114 (OP)
wigglesisters how is he so hysterically dogshit? and why does he STILL sound like a deaf guy trying to sing along to this tasteless, sterile, needlessly complex disney music?

>>127475836
He's a Portable Document Format?

>>127494233
This sounds like mad jealously anon

>>127494910
Then why am I specifically saying this about him? He's just so good that I feel the need to make up this specific criticism of him? His music is unlistenable shit that makes my skin crawl. He's no good. I feel like he has bots that are designed to say everyone who doesn't like him is jealous because all his defenders say this about him. The fact is he's a faggot, so sometimes people will say that he's a faggot.

>>127495070
Keep digging anon

>>127494874
It really is amazing that he hasn't changed his sound at all in light of this accurate criticism constantly being applied to him for years. I find it even stranger that there are people who actually listen to him. That I can't understand in the slightest.

>>127495077
So you listen to this dogshit?

>>127474286
It's a bad imitation of Prospect Hummer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LJLex-Ues4

>>127474286
His voice is so fucking awful

>>127495749
Every time I hear that EP I'm floored by how gorgeous it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRkgK4jfi6M&t=794s
>mfw this hack keeps playing retarded chords

you now remember the jacob collier vs brushy one string threads
a decade later and jacob fraudllier still couldn't make one song as compelling as chicken in the corn

>>127474114 (OP)
Literally yeah even my profs were like that

>>127496553
No i don't but chicken in the corn is indeed better than anything I've heard from Collier

>>127474114 (OP)
Jakes like an experiment into what a music compatible with einstein's relativity would be like, relativity itself being incompatible with music

>>127490990
Dude we are literally like the movie amadeus rn

>>127496553
>a decade later
He hasn't even been around for a decade. Why do people love throwing around the word decade so much when it doesn't apply? Do you not know what a decade is?

>>127490990
Why is Jacob Collier always trying to loop other people into weird shit in an overbearing way? He seems like an actual narcissist. I'm sorry for using such a 2016-coded word, but if you've ever been around someone with actual clinical narcissism, they're always trying to get you to do things that you express no interest in with the avidity of a small child. It's like they just want to make you do things to show their dominance. I'm fairly certain that Jacob Collier has that condition.

>>127497411
not only are you a sperg, but you're also wrong