Thread 127528370

The divorce album is gonna be great

>>127528370 (OP)
the netflix wedding exclusive is going to be legit

>>127528370 (OP)
I had sex with Taylor in 2008

>>127528370 (OP)
I hope he beats her to death

The divorce will be sensational

Any bets, lads? How long?

>>127528454
put me down for 5 months

>>127528370 (OP)
Hag rushing to get married to some retard because she's hitting the wall. Sad!

did she saved her anal virignity for the wedding night?

>>127528470
how's your love life?

>>127528454
Breakup before they even get married, I'm calling it now

>>127528370 (OP)
>You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye
>We never go out of style

Now she’s officially a MAGA wife

>>127528451
Why?

I honestly can't imagine what their sex life is like. She literally has 0% sex appeal. You can put the sexiest lingerie on her, I'll still feel like I'm watching a run-over frog

>announcing your engagement as part of your album rollout and ahead of NFL season

kek no way their "romance" is real

Taylor lesbian truthers on suicide watch

The baby announcement is gonna cause a baby boom the likes of which we havent seen since WW2 ended.

Also all the girlboss 30 year olds are now going to be trying to lock down the closest penis in their orbit so stay safe out there fellas

There’s no him and Aaron Rodgers are straight

There’s no way him and Aaron Rodgers are straight.

>>127528524
Speak for yourself, I've gooned to Tay many times

>>127528481
I am voluntarily celibate.

>>127528370 (OP)
"your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married."
lol. all the tay tay haters gotta admit she's got a way with words.

You will never be Gronk.

>>127528632
The worst taste ever

>>127528638
Basedlennial slop is not profound Emily

>>127528524
Ask John Mayer, he was the first person to crack that shit open that's what Red is about lol.

>>127528514
I thought Kelce was excommunicated from the chud club because of the vaccine stuff. You can't switch-up on this now LOL.

>>127528679
He's genuinely too retarded to be a chud

>>127528667
as opposed to boomer slop about rocking out and fucking 14 year old girls?

>>127528679
lol

>>127528667
it's a good joke faggot. nobody said it's profound.

>>127528637
That's a cope and we both know it.

>>127528394
sad that this is very likely

>>127528711
As opposed to classical music. And even metal.

She's so desperate for all the attention. What a worn out hag.

Well, this NFL season is going to suck

Remember when her and Karlie Kloss were caught kissing at a concert a decade ago

>>127528454
Put me down for 3 years.

>>127528454
One of them gets cold feet OR they last 2 years after marriage

>>127528454
If they don't make the Superbowl again it's over

album sales must've been lower than expected

>>127528737
There's no "joke" there, it's just oversocialized millennial liberal kitsch.

>>127528787
Remember Tay's live in "best friend"?

>>127528782
They said Madonna was bad but...

>>127528732
Happy Gilmore 2 is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen

>>127528683
That's quite an accomplishment.

>>127528787
Kys gaylor

>>127528759
Kind of? I choose to be celibate rather than participate in the relationships that are currently possible for me to attain. It's not a personal failing of attractiveness or charisma but a societal failing of the dating market.

>>127528370 (OP)
Must be true love, remember that this partnership was quickly put together by a crisis PR firm following her Matty Healy backlash

>>127528809
Madonna took a hiatus in the 90s to have kids before coming back and having a panicky midlife crisis.

>>127528797
She's a billionaire I don't think she's worrying about sales

>>127528825
Chuds are high IQ now, don't you know?

>>127528850
Then why did she start this PRomance?

>>127528370 (OP)

This is the woman who claims she doesn't want the media to pay attention to her private life.

>>127528849
now Madonna has done a lot of faggoty stuff over the years but Swift is 50x stupider and more vapid

>>127528874
>a photo taken with consent is the same as paparazzi freaks invading your privacy

I remember back when she said "I don't want to do slutty stuff because I don't want to have to explain that to my grandkids someday."

>>127528888
How is a lesbian gonna have grandchildren

>>127528863
It's not PR

>>127528888
when was that? in 2011 or something?

>>127528783
Kek

>>127528897
I agree, she just needs to be with a retard because anyone with an IQ higher than 100 would nope the fuck out of dating her.

>>127528783
Travis Kelce is gay. I have never seen a more gay man.

>>127528908
I guess before she got eaten by the woke machine.

>>127528897
Bro, Travis Kelce is playing himself and kissing dudes in Happy Gilmore 2

>>127528850
It's never enough, these people live in a fantasy world

>>127528913
Sportsball players like him with CTE seem to be a type for many women, you never see those guys single for a reason

>>127528925
I watched this movie, he doesn't kiss anyone in it

>>127528933
Women are dysgenic.

>>127528850
Bruh she has been releasing new variants of her upcoming album each week for a while now lmao

>>127528798
shocked that people who write "oversocialized millennial liberal kitsch" with a straight face don't get jokes.

>>127528958
Yeah but that honey scene implies that he’s having sex with Bad Bunny who’s also gay

>>127528679
but you switched up on caring about the Epstein files 6 weeks ago?

>>127528913
Dating sure, but MARRYING?
There is no way this doesn't end in anything but a divorce album within a decade with one of the songs being about how she's been longing for one of the ones who got away

>>127528992
When did I? I put my money where my mouth is on Kalshi™

>>127528979
>shocked that people who write "oversocialized millennial liberal kitsch" with a straight face don't get jokes.

>>127528370 (OP)

Congratulations to the both of them!

I bet she's going to invite every single one of her exes to the wedding

>>127528975
Because she wants to, not because she needs to

>>127528732
literally two homos. they're laughing in our faces lmao

call me when she actually has a baby

>>127529020
Cope Taylor said she loved this scene, very cute of her

>>127529032
she was fujoshing out

>>127529013
the funny part is half of them played marvel characters lol

>>127528993
>how she's been longing for one of the ones who got away
I mean the thing is that Taylor is clearly a narcissist and that's why the intelligent guys that she probably finds attractive leave. So her options are to change (which won't happen), keep dating guys on a revolving door, or shack up with some retard wimp who she can control.
>but Kelce is big and strong!
Doesn't matter, he's clearly a beta male deep inside. He's a follower, he has no agency.

wow shes really going for the promotion this time

>>127528683
Really wonder why MIGA never ran with the Taylor Swift/Matt Healy racist chud angle. It's funny seeing the 4chan switch-up from
>Aryan queen Taytay look she (yes she!) posted her cat on 4chan!
>Globohomo brainwasher and her boyfriend is a vaccine salesman
I mean you have Mahomes and his wife but they were STILL praying on the downfall of the Chiefs

>>127528881
'fraid so

this is an article bait. she’s desperate for that 1kk first week sales

>>127529009
why y'all get so political and strident about pop culture that you can't admit taylor wrote a good joke?

"bbbbut her whole ideology of life and on music is so wrong, she's incapable of being funny or even sexy. i'm making my stand."
maybe on some level

>>127529009
that's a picture of you

if you ever seen her interviews you'd wonder if she has an IQ above 90. seriously she is dumb as a rock.

>>127529072
>Matt Healy racist chud angle
Is he even a chud?
>Mahomes
Well Mahomes' wife are GOP shill useful idiots, not truly right wing.

>>127529104
Watch her latest podcast, she's very chill and humble and has some wisdom

>>127528454
4 years

>>127529104
And somehow Kelce is at least a standard deviation or two dumber.

>>127529061
All I'm saying is that you got options as a pro athlete and someone that famous feels more trouble than it's worth unless you want to flex to your friends that you bagged her (I mean that Jonas guy today doesn't seem to give a shit and seems to be living happily). Yeah she's rich but how much is your quality of life really going to change especially with how much Travis is already making unless you wanted to exert political influence on countries because a lot of these athletes seem happy just playing PS5 or crashing corvettes into light poles.

>>127529097
There's no joke. It's a completely vapid reference to fucking high school of all things. Hence the oversocialization. She's so boxed in by society that she still lives within the confines of high school at 30-something years old. It's not a joke in any way, just a mundane analogy.

>>127529148
of course that happens to every music star when they've been in the game too long, they lose touch with the real world. that's not at all unique.

>>127529140
Again since she's a narcissist, I think she just wanted to thrust her relationship right in the center of the tabloids. When they got together the Chiefs were in a dynastic run and Kelce is a big part of that.
>unless you wanted to exert political influence on countries
As if sportsball superfans have any political will lmao

>>127528370 (OP)
Kek

>>127528896
With a turkey baster.

>>127529174
she was a literal teenager the last time she had any contact with the real world and her music shows it

>>127529174
Again you're not getting it. It's emblematic of a certain way of thinking that's endemic amongst millennial women. The term Kaczynski uses is oversocialization, and it's really apt. They become so beholden to social constructs like school that they take over the person's psyche. Hence why, in getting married, Taylor makes some stupid reference to high school.

i thank god for not giving kelce/taylor swift a superbowl win

>>127528454
18-22 months after consummation

>>127529148
it's a reference to something all people know about and have some kinds of stereotypes on (english teachers like this, gym teacher like that)

in other words, the stuff that makes a good joke for a mass market.

but such things referencing the typical social situations almost all regular people experience is probably pretty alien to you autist folk.

>>127529247
WHITE BOY WINTER REIGNS ETERNALLY

>>127528370 (OP)
Her caption is kino. I hated taylor since like 2010 but she is growing on me

>>127529282
You still haven't explained the "joke". It's literally just a banal reference.

>>127529283
thertes no way that mut is white

>>127529183

Their wedding is going to get more media coverage than Princess Die.

>>127529247
I thought they would’ve separated after the superbowl

> no sticky
mods are cooked frfr

>>127529148
>>127529282
and for the love of god, most of her fans are young and not too far out of high school, so why shouldn't she base her jokes around what her fans care about?

did you want her to do her joke around her mortgage or retirement plan?

No superbowl ring tho

>>127529296
Pure Thoroughbred American Great Plains zoomer phenotype.

She will be 36 in December. Very few pop girls have ever had a top 10 hit past at most 33.

>>127529247
>i thank god for not giving kelce/taylor swift a superbowl win
lmao there is always next year

>>127529316
If she's not referencing Spengler, Beethoven, or Washington then it's no good.

>>127529294
speaking slowly now: she's making a self-mocking joke on her and her fiance's stereotypes.

she's a studious book nerd (english teacher), he's a dumb jock (gym teacher).

but keep at it, with enough work, even autists can learn how jokes work.

>>127529348
last february with kendrick was the peak, she will never reach those moments again

>>127529364
Okay but where's the joke?
>she's a studious book nerd
She's a 110 IQ millennial woman that wants to think she's Lisa Simpson because she did everything her teacher told her to in high school. Genuinely one of the most insufferable archetypes out there.

>>127529390
>She's a 110 IQ millennial woman
Knock at least 15 points off that and you'd be accurate.

>>127529390
Add at least 50 points and then you're talking

you just know taytay is gonna get married on november, the day kanye/kim divorced

TAY WON!!!

it was the part when she admitted she didn't know how to write anything but teen breakup songs

>>127528530
They're both each other's beards

>>127528489
She really loved that weird homo

>>127529316
>>127529424
IDK if you compare the Marvelettes tune here they sound cooler and more adult than their early 60s records. they weren't still making teenager songs at almost 30.

>>127528524
>Blonde skinny white girl
Show wrist

As much as it pains me to say it... Travis was pretty damn good in Happy Gilmore 2

>>127529247
Hate to be a nerd but Travis gave her wins in 2023 and 2024, this is them kissing after the win.

>>127529462
that doesn't really prove anything because the 60s were a different time with very different social expectations than today

>>127529493
>2023
They weren't dating then yet..., right?

>>127528370 (OP)
Bros is it bad I wanna goon over Taylors hand here

imagine her like
>eww what is this, a $20M ring?

she was slightly fuckable in the late 2000s but that was it

>>127529608
Findon Tay is so fucking hot

>>127528370 (OP)
YAAAAAAAASSSS QUEEN SLAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!

>>127528370 (OP)
>killatrav
can this faggot get anymore wigger

>>127529522
they started dating in August 2023 as far as i can tell.

>>127529530
Blast it with Taycums!!!!!!!

The only Taylor Swift song I can name is Shake it Off but I just think of the Florence and the Machine song

>>127530034
fake hair is the deal breaker with dudes.

>>127530061
Both are Stomp Clap Hey songs

>>127529325
he has....dubious features

>>127530061
I Knew You Were Trouble?

This “sport” feels like it belongs only in a dystopia. It’s hard to understand why people smash into each other on tv.

https://youtu.be/ptaArrl-Ius

>>127530153
oh please modern NFL is a joke. let me tell you what they did in the 70s.

>>127530120
Nope, I remember "She wears short skirts I wear t shirts she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers" but I can't name the song

>>127530185
Evidently you live somewhere where I Knew You Were Trouble was not beaten into your head the whole winter and spring of 2013.

>>127530589
Southern California actually, I just don't go out much

>>127530627
I live in PA in fact within driving distance of Swift's childhood house and yes they absolutely did run the Red/1989 singles into the ground back then.

>>127528370 (OP)
Is she virgin?

>>127529318
She seems more of a cricket gal

Swift is a lesbian and Kelce is a closeted homosexual. None of this is real.

>>127530779
Tay wants to stay in the lavender haze.

>>127528454
25k they don't make it past 6 months

>>127528454
I'm gonna say 2. And then she'll put out some cope album about how great it is to be single.

Oh yeah, this guy is 100% straight and he really, really, really likes women
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMtVM_1H2aw

>>127528454
Her eggs are screaming.
8 years to pop out some nepo babies.
She'll look like her mother and / or Sharon Osbourne by then.
Wealth is shored up in trust funds.
There'll be a couple of post-wall feminism albums to come, then re-invention with her kids' career enmeshment.

>matty healy jerked off to ghetto gaggers
>travis kelce used to date black women

whats up with Taylor and colonizers?

>>127528850
It's not about money at this point, it's about the power and the status of being on top. She can't bear the thought of becoming irrelevant which is why she co opted this doofus into her live shows. He's now part of her brand and marketing. Once the slutpop career dries up in 3-5 years she'll either pivot back to acoustic country lite tunes or start marketing the kids like Prince Harry's wife.

>>127528454
A year or so after he retires from the NFL. Professional athletes go from fairy tale life to just another guy playing video games all day overnight. Many such cases. The NHL divorce rate is over 75%

>>127528454
2 years to maybe 5 years at the most. I hope they have a loving marriage that lasts long but realistically these hollywood couples don't last long

>>127528524
They're both white so they'll have white pasty bland plain sex, missionary for the sole purpose of procreation. They're normies and he has gotten all that filth out of his system so he is happy to settle down with a normie like Taylor so he can do all the normie love stuff with her.

>>127528370 (OP)
The cheerleading chick and Johnny Football

https://youtu.be/hAFuD-S-e_E

shame she used to post incognito on 4chinz in early 2010s and was a vocal Stormfag. too bad she sell out to wokeshit since then.

>>127531682
/b/ when it was cringe and not just a porn/gore board named her cat too

Which one will last longer
Charli xcx or Taylor Swift?

Gronk has severe PTSD. It doesn't pay to actually block well it seems

>>127528632
That's incredibly pathetic, you bring great shame upon yourself and all your ancestors.

>>127528370 (OP)
Surely this union will save the white race. Right, /pol/ddit?

Oprah II: The Other White Steadman

Cha_Ching!

as a Catholic I'm not allowed to marry divorcees. no exceptions

>>127531682
That never happened IRL though.

>>127528454
Divorce finalized in 2027, divorce album drops mid to late 2028

It won't beat Rosemary Clooney or Bob Dylan's divorce albums I can tell you that much.

>>127532734
Glitter on the Freeway

>>127532734
lol ok boomer

>>127528454
21 months

>>127528784
my thinking exactly
think I'll take the year off, watch hockey instead

>Most famous woman in the world, an attractive Aryan, married to chad football man
Another great victory for Trump's America. Woke really is dead

>>127531253
>missionary for the sole purpose of procreation
All other sex is demented, and gay. Maybe cowgirl is okay. Doggy seems insulting to the woman.

>>127531068
he just grew up in a half black town, and since he played on the football team, probably mostly hung out with blacks on the football team.

they probably respected him because he's big, and he adopted their culture, which, of course, includes being faggy about fashion, being overly self-confident and glib, but also (on the sorta positive side) being highly social.

>>127534093
>being highly social
Blacks are the most antisocial race what are you talking about lol

>>127528370 (OP)
>keeping it white
So much for not being Taydolf Swiftler.

>>127531068
>men who are feminine or who have feminine interests can't be straight and are secretly gay
>men who are masculine can't be gay and are straight

>>127528638
holy loser, grow up you dumb bitch
is there a word for someone who wished they peaked in high school but didn't and now their super weird about it?

>>127528481
Oh Hi Mark

>>127528370 (OP)
she's desperately trying not to admit to herself she's a dyke

>>127528370 (OP)
She's getting too old to keep playing this flippant game of relationship saga with her fans.
Divorce album for a 38 year old.. can't be anything exciting. Can't use that recipe forever

>>127534489
Aren't they both each other's beards

>>127528454
Happily ever after

>>127528370 (OP)
Ain't no way there are some crusty mongoloids here being bitter and jealous about it like some sort of Kpoop stan

>>127529115
Most hilarious shit during the last superbowl was people who hate San Francisco simping for the 49ers and the team from Missouri was the globohomo NWO team.
All that Aryan Queen posting on /pol/ is just hiding a simple truth. They're stans who want a socially acceptable way (for the board) to simp for a famous pop-star and the actual boomers who simp for her hope one day she signs the bog contract to look like Kimberly Guilfoyle (who Gavin Newsom and Trump Jr. both fucked which is fucking FOUL)

>>127528454
Two more weeks.

>>127528370 (OP)
It would've been funnier if she married a black guy.

>>127528454
2 years. She will get bored and the urge to wander and will make up some bullshit to end the relationship. She is a broken person.

>>127528370 (OP)
A shrewd business move for the next couple of years, congratulations to her team

I think they're perfectly matched, they both seem to be stuck in some perpetual adolescence. Taylor acts like she's 20 despite being almost 40 and Travis is some revenge of the nerds parody person

>>127528483
It's almost certainly going to be this, but if not it will be this >>127528788

>>127528850
Her entire life's goal is to have 13 number one records in a row

>>127529148
It's because he rabid fans always call her Mom and say "Mom did this" or "Mom did that" so she wanted to reference that but knew it wouldn't go over well if she said something like "Mommy found a Daddy" so she reworked it into that too play with the same vein but make it more palatable.

>>127529364
That isn't how jokes work

>>127531082
Sounds like she’s going to be happy desu idk why it makes you mad

>>127528528
They're both gay.

>>127534277
Anon is a bit dim. If he spent an hour in any online gay space, he'd notice that most gay men who aren't theatre fags are absolutely obsessed with masculinity in all it's forms. Most are attracted to hypermasculininty in men, not feminine or queenish behaviour.

Hence why Morrissey made an entire career out of mooning over thugs and skinheads, and complaining he was a camp gay incel who couldn't get laid.

Kelce just seems like your average laidback fratbro who likes sports and socialising.

>>127528454
i honestly can see it lasting pretty long, he's kind of a dumbass and she's a control freak

She’s the new main pop girl now that Taylor is retiring from music.

>>127528454
Honestly, I'm surprised she even got engaged.
2 months tops.

>>127534124
have you ever even met a black person?
they are the least shy people in the world.

The bad bunny thing sealed it for me. Kelce is gay gay.

>>127538765
He’s the type of repressed gays like Ralf Schumacher.

>>127528370 (OP)
“Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married” maybe the worst caption of all time ever

>>127528454
Really hard to tell. A lot of people are saying under 5 years but I think it'll be about 8 years or so. They'll have their time to distract from their failing marriage with their money exploits, a little more time to stave it off when they have 1 or 2 kids, after that once this guy's out of the NHL it's over.

>>127538648
is that a frog?

>>127538996
It's cute, chud

>>127539085
No It’s Sabrina Carpenter

>>127539098
Americans never get over their high school phase. It's so fucking pathetic.

>>127528522
it would ruin her music for all of her fans. they wouldn't be able to revisit the taylor swift story again knowing that was the ending. which would be really funny.

I fucking hate that Travis character. His personality is an irritant. I don't understand how someone could enjoy his time.

>>127539122
most of the people here are IN high school, moron

>>127534573

No. It's true love!

>>127528370 (OP)
didn't this bitch just marry and divorce some other guy last year?