Thread 28422441

Simple solution:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-n2He3GIO4

>>28422441 (OP)
thank u spiderbro

Reminder: spiders are an important part of the ecosystem. it's a good idea to have spiders in your home because we eat other pests. and they are scared of humans and try to avoid us

>>28422441 (OP)
Spiderbro protects my car from insectoid pests

>>28422491
>we
why are there spiders posting on /o/

>>28422491
t.

>>28422542
Does spider have pusspuss?

>>28422441 (OP)
>eat this little shit by thousands
I would never thanks spiders enough.

>>28422491
I had a spider do the waving legs threat posture at me the other day, the neat thing is I had to get a magnifying glass to work out if the speck of grey dirt on my desk was a thing.
I let it escape towards the floor.

>>28422491
8 legs typed this post

>>28422565
This. Spiders are humanity's friends. I just let them do their thing.

>>28422491
but i must say, jumping spiders are automatically VIPs on account of how cool they are. incredibly smart motherfuckers. they even have dreams when they sleep.

>>28422441 (OP)
Youre picture is of a brown recluse. And honestly fuck those motherfuckers. They can get fucked for all I care.
Had a house in TN and the ONLY fucking spiders in the house were goddamned brown recluse. Just shitting up everything and being a nuisance.
Took like 4 yrs of dusting in the attic, glue traps and other shit and I still catch them 10 yrs later. It's insane really.
Their webs arent even for catching shit, it's just to shit up areas so they can live there.
Really hate those fucks.
Surprisingly I've only been bitten once (likely while sleeping) and it was like a bad mosquito bite, so no necrotizing tissue. which was nice.
But I really detest these guys, and it's partly for their attitude. They're not even aware of humans, they dont react at all to anything you're doing and just carry on like they own the place (unlike a cool spider that's similar looking like a wolf spider.. who is clearly paying attn to everything you're doing, or a super cool bro spider like a phiddipus jumper that actually LIKES interacting with humans).
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I doubt the spider that was on your mirror making a cool web was a brown recluse, because they're the nigger of the spider world and dont do anything cool.

>>28422491
a spider used to live on my windowsill by my desk and rappel down occasionally to say hello. i miss him.

>>28422441 (OP)
>proud owner of a fresh case of brakleen
Fuck around and find out you skittering brown shitstain.

>>28422624
I consider myself somewhat arachnophobic and while I find myself fascinated by the biology and mechanics of spiders I don't want them anywhere near me for any reason... except for jumping spiders which, without exception, bring me delight and joy when I encounter them. I could be having a shitty day and covered in grease and bruises with rust in my eyes from wrenching on some piece of shit and about to kill the parts store guy for giving me the wrong chinknesium part and then one of these little cuties swaggers by 3 inches from my face on its way to put the fear of God into a mosquito before sending it back to Satan with "you're next, faggot" crudely scrawled into the drained husk, or rape any of the other shitty lesser spiders to death, or just do a little shimmy for fun because they do that and you would too if you were even half that cool, and suddenly I feel human again and everything's okay. Bless 'em.

>>28422441 (OP)
>kills you and your vehicle
Oh no a little insect!

>>28422789
the moose:
> :P

>>28422778
they apparently taste with their feet and breathe via their abdomens so just keep that in mind when you handle them. i'm sure they can figure shit out but still take care if your hands are all covered in grease or brake cleaner

>>28422819
Brake cleaner annihilates roaches in the most brutal way. Instantly strips all the protective outer layer of chitin oils and then starts breaking down carbon. I've lined my front door with PB blaster because I like the smell and the roaches are no longer coming near the front patio. Wolf spiders are just eerie to look at. They're pretty large at my house, but they keep to themselves, and in my chicken coop, and just eat roaches. Used to see the roaches in the egg box, but cleaned it out today and those wolf spiders must have eaten good.

>>28422441 (OP)
>car has no ants
>car has no mice
Thank you, spiderbro!

>>28422491
sorry but i dont believe this reddit shit, if there is a spider web in my room i am killing it

>>28423148
webs are pretty annoying so yea. kill all the webs

>>28422491
>We
First the tires, now spoidahs?

>>28422778
Funny how humans prefer jumping spiders to other spiders, simply because they evolved the big eyes which just happen to trigger our cuteness sensor. A simple evolutional trait and suddenly the world's most dominant species treats it much better.

>>28422441 (OP)
Not my problem. I wash & wax my car almost every month.

>>28423670
it's not just that (although it helps) but they have movements and actions that make it apparent they're paying attn to what you're doing. they're also very interactive and active in general. also a big factor is that they're not venomous and are pretty small even at the largest. but yeah they're cool, had one hanging out on my desk for a few days and just watching what I was typing and chilling out.

*shits all over your car doors*

>>28423670
what >>28423835 said. they're VERY intelligent, to the point that when they see your hand they can figure out and recognise that it's actually part of a bigger animal. same thing with bull ants too actually. both creatures have excellent eyesight and when both see your hand or even just a stick that you're holding out to them, they'll realise a creature is holding that stick and look right at you accordingly

>>28422491
Thumis. Mom told not to kill spiders or it would be ill luck

>>28425244
>Thumis
wat

We have plenty of these little cuties (huntsman) where I live.

>>28422542
if the spiders could actually talk and form alliances with me i would be totally fine with them. i just dont want them on me.

>>28426300
A spider guards my front door. There has been someone in that little house for years now so they must be some good eatin' there.

>>28422491
t

>>28426368
kekk

>>28422536
they get 4chan in australia too bro

>>28423670
These little B move their retinas rather than their eyes so they can operate their phone without moving their head.
Pretty cool imo.

>>28423148
Same. I hate every type of spider that exists. I don't care if it's deadly or completely harmless, they all can go to hell and burn for eternity.

>>28427204
"The Mist" is just up your street, as they say.

>>28423670
Had a little jumper live in my car for a few weeks, I was sad when I stopped seeing him around.

>>28428715
They only live for a few months.

>>28429016
>They only live for a few months
Billions must die.

>>28422491
Do your job and eat the aphids killing my corn plants, will ya?

>>28429016
>>28429578
some of them live up to a year. still an absolute shame because they do make great pets

>>28422441 (OP)
>recluse
>elaborate system of webs
Do your homework.

>>28422536
Because they have web access.

>>28429617
carlos i'm going to nail one end of your small intestine to a pole and make you walk around it till it runs out of length

>>28429604
you want ladybirds for that

>>28422730
One got me on the thigh and I got necrosis, now I have a quarter sized pit in my leg. Fuck those niggers. I remember when I opened the skin in the shower and rotted meat just bursted out.
I like spids, but these gotta be murdered

>>28422491
Then why do I still see silver shits in my house you goddamn slacker.

>aggressively swarms around your car while its running, follows it for miles and attacks you once you get home
>lays in wait on your porch for hours until it senses you and delivers a god awful sharp painful bite that swells up tremendously
This shit should be in Australia, not here. Total yellow fly death

>>28425273
Yup, had a little one show up on my ceiling a couple years ago.
>oh it can't be that bad, it's just a little one! I'll leave him be :)

>fast forward a week, don't see him
>suddenly see an eldritch horror out of the corner of my eye
>big legs poking out of my ceiling fan
>the hell beast emerges leg by leg until its full terrifying glory is exposed, a fully grown hunstman the size of my hand
>BURNITDOWN.jpg
>grab a giant clear plastic bowl and a cardboard sheet, and a ladder, climb up and capture him and release him outside across the street
>it immediately runs right for the neighbor's house
Sorry neighbor

I got bit by one of these fuckers on my knee and it turned purple and the joint hurt for like a week, I live in south jersey

>>28422441 (OP)
>covers the inside of your tailgate jambs, behind your rocker panel covers, and in the b-pillar jams
heh

>>28430323
Don't they eat any other spider they can find? I mean isn't it better to have a huntsman in your house than some medically significant fucker?

>>28430545
I'm sure they'd eat horses if they were big enough, I still don't want them on my ceiling directly above my bed man

>>28430582
>having smaller potentially dangerous hard to find spiders around the house is better than having a single big harmless one protecting you even while you sleep

>>28430607
>a single big harmless one
If it's big enough for me to HEAR IT WALKING, it's not allowed in my bedroom

Rural Ausfag here. My car gets full of flies at work (dairy farm) which creates a luxury resort for huntsmans. At least once a month one will skitter across the inside of the windscreen while driving or pop out of the door seal when opening it. They don't make webs at least

>>28431680
I can hear jumping spiders running, it depends mostly on the surface and if they are in a hurry.
Anyway, if you can hear it and can easily see it it won't (or doesn't intend to) sneak up on you. Still calling that a pro and your neighbor a lucky guy.

>>28431704
Have you tried leaving some water for them?

>>28431704
Do all Australians have their own car-spider?

>>28422624
I kill almost every spider I see but I blew two of these guys out of my mirrors today instead of squishing them.
>>28423670
I also let wolf spiders and tarantulas live. I don't think it's a cute thing they just aren't bastard species.

>>28432152
Nah. I leave the windows cracked most of the time if it isn't raining. If they get thirsty they can please leave. It's a single-cab ute, so there isn't a lot of room for human and large spider co-habitation
>>28433387
Yes. And anyone who claims they don't just doesn't know yet

I recently took my shirt off to collect one from a bunch of girls' windscreen at the supermarket and release it in the grass. Could have been a total Chad move if I didn't look like a homeless wizard spattered in dry dung

>>28422778
>and suddenly I feel human again and everything's okay. Bless 'em.
Amen, brother.

>>28429617
>i laughed at this

>>28427152
the ones that glow under UV light you can actually see their eye barrels moving, it's pretty fucking cool

A spider fell from his web above my bed last night and landed on my shoulder, last night. I thought about safely removing him but it looks like the fall fucked him up, so i just threw him away.

>>28430323
>only the size of your hand
Cute. I once had to roust one the size of a dinner plate off the outside of my front door. I got the sweats just looking at it.

>>28435851
>you can actually see their eye barrels moving
Oh shit, that is cool.

>>28435851
>visual surveillance CIA spider is a thing

Test.

>>28429617
underrated

>>28422466
i found one of these in my glove box. it made a nice metal *crunch* when i squished it
it tried to run away but thankfully it wasnt very nimble

>>28423955
AAAAAAH IM GONNA KILL YOUFUCKER GET OOOOOOUT

TWEEEEEEEEEEEET

>>28435851
that's the coolest fucking thing i've seen in quite some time, and i want to thank you for posting it

>>28435851
Jumping spider eyes are telescopic and can zoom in and out, too.

>>28441848
Why would anyone do that to a Ferrari
Not their best model, but not the worst either

>>28441894
Yeah, they do that to focus. They can also tilt their principal eyes in addition to rotation, have up to four types of color-sensitive cells including mandatory one for the UV part of the spectrum (humans have only three, and even less for colorblind people) and visual acuity to be able to see the biggest symbols in the chart at the eye test. Some studies suggest they can even learn symbols and differentiate between them (like associating certain pictograms with sweetened water they like).

Their vision appears to be compatible with modern screens and some of them do take interest in what's on them. Who knows, maybe some even post here using tiny little keyboards.

>>28441986
>Their vision appears to be compatible with modern screens and some of them do take interest in what's on them
Some of them definitely like watching tv. In one case the owner noticed her pet jumper trying to watch tv from his little cage, she opened the door and the little guy crawls over to watch from a better spot lol. Ball pythons seem to also like tv as well. I think we really just underestimate the intelligence of a lot of animals, I can see why the guy that wrote Children of Time decided to write in an advanced society of jumping spiders that mutated from a genetically engineered virus.

>>28441990
Yeah, mine seem to prefer cartoons to live action movies, probably has something to do with simpler graphics.
The author of Children of Time did a good job. However, he kind of failed to capture that jumpers apparently can hear sounds in the air (and they behave like they can get the direction to the source of the sound as well).

Oh fuck, I just replied to a bot >>28441990
It regurgitated a reddit post with its comments, apparently the first one popping up in google.