Thread 28693237

as someone who live a walkable city, I envy Houstonians

>>28693237 (OP)
As someone who is a native English speaker, I can tell you that you'd fit in perfectly in Houston.

There is absolutely nothing to envy about Houston.

>>28693307
What about them swangas and 'lacs?

Why?
This place is a gigantic sprawling concrete jungle with nothing interesting at all.

i'm nearly the opposite of a "walkable cities" reddit commie but when i've gone to houston i sort of understand the desire

It's also weirdly polluted, it's like driving into a third world sweatshop factory.

>he has to live in Texas
i feel something for you, but it is not envy...

>>28693421
how many layers of white flight would you like with your urban hellscape?

>>28693237 (OP)
Why would an outer loop and more sidewalks/pedestrian zones be unable to coexist?

>>28693237 (OP)
>Houston
Bruh, all my EXs literally live in Texas and Huston is a liberal filled Dump.

>>28693237 (OP)
>he doesn't walk while driving
Ngmi.

>roads are shit
>everything is flat and straight
>nothing to look at, driving there is like the background of an old cartoon where they repeat the same shit over and over again to save money on animation but its real life
>ratty pine trees, strip mall, pine trees, strip mall, pine trees, strip mall, farm with junk, pine trees, tract homes, pine trees, strip mall, repeat ad infinitum
>no hills or twistys
>drivers are morons, everyone has at least one dent
>weather is ass, has maybe 8 hours of nice weather a year
>if it isn't freezing or raining the air is so humid you can hardly breathe it
>mosquitoes everywhere all the time
>every other person is on welfare
>everyone is a prick about everything for no reason at all

Fuck Texas, and fuck Houston in particular. I had to live there a year and it was hell.

I've been all over the country for work and Houston has, by a WIDE margin, the most employed functional retards out there in the wild. Getting fast food there was almost always an experience in patience.

You would have to be living in a real shithole to be envious of Houston.

I remember going through their "nice" neighborhood (the woodlands) and it was just regular shit with an above average mall and big houses.

>>28694338
>pine trees
>freezing
>huston texas
Are you from an alternate reality?

>>28693505
What even are those exurbs on the outside, is anyone/thing even there? Sugarland, Pearland, Splendora. They don't even sound like real places

H TINE HOL IT DINE

>>28694338
unsure if bot or just geniunely retarded.

>>28694605
If you’re unaware that Houston can be freezing cold, you've never been there.

>>28694732
Behold the beauty and grandeur that is the Houston area

>>28694732
I'm from the Appalachians and I dont particularly care for Texas (too flat, too scrubby, too crowded, shitty gulf access, etc.)
Houston really got fucked when all the Katrina detritus left NO to relocate there... and it hasnt gotten any better over the last 20 yrs.
It's definitely my least favorite TX city.
I'm sure some "people" love it though and I understand the street racing scene is pretty lit.

>>28694619
I knew a guy in college from Sugarland TX, he was a flaming homo

>>28694741
I've lived in texas. The seasons are hot and dry and then cool and rainy. Just those too seasons for the year. You have to look at decorations to see things like Easter decorations to know it's "spring" or plastic snowmen to know it's supposed to be "winter". Autumn doesn't exist. It's a day where turkey is consumed.

>>28694773
Yes, but have you lived in *Houston*? It's infamous for having all 4 seasons at random, sometimes all in the same day.

>>28693237 (OP)
You don't wanna walk in or around Houston.

>>28693237 (OP)
Trade me places then, Houston is a garbage heap.

>>28693237 (OP)
>as someone who live a walkable city
No you don't. If you did you'd know there's nothing wrong with this. Just because I like driving doesn't mean that I want to have to get in my car to drive 5 minutes every time I want to go to the store. Who the fuck wants to burn gas to buy a hot dog or a candy bar, especially on a legitimately good day?

>>28694619
They all sound like artificial sweeteners you'd find in off-brand Coke.

>>28694354
>their "nice" neighborhood (the woodlands)
Hahahahaha holy fuck this is the fakest shit I've ever seen. It's like they hooked 100 realtors to a brain scanner and built the resulting picture.

It's no wonder suburbanites become psychopaths. Living in a plastic shithole like this would make me kill myself. I've spent a fuckton of times in small northeastern towns and even live in one now and it's absurd how many suburbs want to capture the feel of one while simultaneously have absolutely no fucking idea what they're even like.

>>28694893
>no wonder suburbanites become psychopaths
Especially there. The weather is so shitty all the time that everyone spends all their time indoors. So they dump all their money on remodeling and decorating and live like shut-ins until they can barely speak to other humans.
I've lived in quite a few places and Houston suburban people are just the worst. They're just weird assholes all the time about everything. I could fill this thread with greentext stories about dealing with random houstonions.

Finding a friendly person who wasn't at that moment being paid to be pleasant was a rare thing.

>>28694619
>>28694764
>>28694890
Sugar Chad checking in.

>>28694354
> You would have to be living in a real shithole to be envious of Houston.

I remember when my friend from a poor state in Brazil moved with his extended family somewhere near Katy. His young nieces who recently moved kept bringing up the fact they lived in a liminal space. He stated many middle income compounds and districts in LATAM shitholes had better QOL and were in some ways more affordable for the local income. He moved back to a better state and only dreads when his family visits T*xas.

>>28693237 (OP)
Okay. Pull up google maps. Drop a pin anywhere, anywhere within 50 miles of the center of houston. What does it look like? Oh it looks like fucking brazil? But worse? Oh it looks like southSudan? BUT WORSE? WOW!
As a texan, houston needs a nuke. There is no city on earth more decrepit and miserable than that shithole.

>>28694773
Don't forget the 2 weeks of February where it's 10 below with 40+ mph winds

Houston and texas in general are soulless dumps, legitimately just drains your soul and mind to live there

>>28698784
AEH DONT LIKE YOUR TONE, BUCKO.

>>28699165
This isn't even comedy, its a documentary.

>>28699165
The texan is too white/pink in this image and he should be speaking spanish

>>28699221
That's like a photo accurate image of about 80% of the people in my old neighborhood

>>28699221
He will soon be engulfed by the Latinx tumour on his shoulder

>>28694328
Fred Flintstone?

>>28694893
>It's like they hooked 100 realtors to a brain scanner and built the resulting picture.
Goddamn where do you get this banter from?

>>28694893
And that’s the ‘soulful’ sub/exurb of Houston

Some rich places get Team Fortress 2 maps as their community centers (if at all)

H TOWN TILL I DROWN

>>28701963
sometimes miss my 5.0. I even bought an mgw shifter n everything...

>>28694918
>I could fill this thread with greentext stories about dealing with random houstonions.

Someone who has lived in Houston all my life, I encourage you to do just this.

>>28702067
Seconding

>>28702067
>>28702863
>be me
>have to go to nearest little strip mall that has a UPS
>have something heavy to ship so want to be close to the door
>nearest spot is narrow because someone parked shitty
>oh well
>old houstonion walks out of the ups as I am starting to squeeze out of my car
>huffs and puffs and makes a sour face because his shitty parking job I guess means he's entitled to the space I'm in too
>whatever, I'm not here to match your energy
>say Oh, just a sec, let me back out real quick so you can get in
>maybe he was expecting me to be an h'onion too and be a dick all the time, but instead I'm not n
>at least he has the courtesy to act sheepish about his huffing
>back out, he gets in his car, pull back in
I mean, you park like a hard and I'm the bad guy?

>>28702920
*tard

>be me, moving into Houston
>suburban, single family homes lining streets
>neighbor kids egg our house for no reason
>it takes, I shit you not, 6 months before anyone says hello
>every else I've ever lived it's been a week max before an introduction and no eggs
It's not like I was driving around giving people the finger. Was i expected to go to them?

>be my wife
>in the parking lot of the HEB (grocery store, the only good thing in Texas)
>some 20 something year old guy parks nearby in a Skyline GTR
>she takes her phone out to snap a quick photo to bring home and show me because she knows I'll like it
>guy yells at her for taking a picture of his car
Dafuq?

>be me, as usual
>decide to take my car to a car meet, cars & coffee type thing
>do typical car show stuff, wander around and chat cars with people
>unusually pleasant time in Houston
>couple of guys approach my car, start asking me about it
>huge creepy vibe
>feels like they're seriously contemplating jacking me right there in the open
>mega-uncomfortable times
Wouldn't be surprised if I found an air tag squirreled away somewhere in there someday

>go to get gas
>credit card doesn't work at pump
>sigh
>go inside to cashier
>credit card doesn't work at terminal
>she asks for the card, dips it out of sight like she's swiping it beneath the counter
>it works
>get gas
>get notices later of suspicious activity, they have to send me a new card

>shortly after moving in
>get hungry while out and about
>pull into one of a thousand little strip malls
>this one has a McDonald's
>okay.jpeg
>get up to speaker
>everything starts moving at half speed
>never mind that I have places to go
>get my food
>it's wrong
>eat it anyway
Not nearly as an unusual experience as it is in other states

>decide to give Whataburger a try
>let's find out what the big deal is
>go to drive thru
>there's some overly complicated process to it. I give my name, get a ticket, get waved forward into a line of waiting cars
>twiddling thumbs for a while, dee dee dit de dee....
>anon? Anon? Anon?
>hi
>receive food
>it's basically cafeteria grade food with 3x thickness burger meat
>Dr pepper shake was OK I guess
>come back a few times for that shake
>they stop making it

>be me one day
>go to Houston hardware dump
>people nostalgia for the old family hardware store
>yeah but at least it can find shit in a Lowes and they have mostly everything
>this place is like a garden shed, but it's store sized
>need a ez out to remove a broken bolt
>wander the aisles, no organization to anything, can't find shit
>ask one of the people behind the counter
>this usually goes one of two ways, the person behind the counter is either friendly and happy to help, but is too retarded to do anything actually useful, so you end up wasting your time or the person knows their shit but is so gruff and up his own ass about it that he's insulted that you don't know what he knows and acts like you're a fag for asking for help
>I got the tard this go around
>find myself having to tell a hardware store employee what an ez out looks like
>he points me towards the most chineseium metric tap set that ever existed
>no, that's not it but close
>look in that area
>nope
>tard spends the next 10 minutes at my elbow trying to help me find something he doesn't know anything about
>I finally find one near the cheapest orange plastic handle Chinese screwdrivers wholesale money can buy
>buy it, take it home, instantly break it
Fuck.

>drive past 18 strip malls
>see a cowboy church
>tf is a cowboy church
Drive past another 18 strip malls

>take kid to new school
>pick her up at the end of the day
>"dad, the kids there smell bad"
>they're also about a year or so behind her, so 8th grade is getting like 6.5th grade stuff as far as she's concerned
>well, that's not good
You're stuck here for a year, sweetie, sorry

>>28702979
Otoh she got straight as that year because it wasn't new shit to her. But catching up the next year was a bitch.

>put my old minivan up on craigslist
>cheapest of all the comparable ones listed
>filter through the scammers and flippers
>houstonion gives me an offer and a sob story
>offers me $3000 on my $3500 ask
>fine come here with cash and its yours
>shows up with friend
>pulls out $2600 with a shitty little grin on his face
>so fed up with houstonions at this point I take it just to get him out of my life ASAP and I don't have to deal with any more like him
Ugh

>>28702982
Con't
>he emails me a week later about my insurance
>wait what why
>had an accident, was hoping to somehow put it on my insurance
>HELL no I will not commit insurance fraud for you
>asks for his money back
Jeeezus.
>

>decide to get the fuck out of Texas forever
>put house up on the market
>get one offer, it's asking price so that's good
>buyers ask for every accommodation possible
>like they would like to have a contractor look around the the whole family would show up type of overreach
>increasing favors, etc. Horrible people to deal with but I want to sell this house desperately so I agree to everything even the start of demoing as I was still living in the place during the rent back period
>at least I got out
>later they threaten to sue over some made-up bullshit, trying to bully me into an open-ended agreement to pay for something that would have ended up raping me, claimed I missed a disclosure
>called a lawyer and put a stop to that shit immediately
Attorney is just like yeah that sucks but some people are just like that
>well, it was a first for me, guy

>be my wife
>decide to take the little dog for a walk in the neighborhood
>someone's German shepherd is loose, comes up and starts harassing our dog
>it starts escalating as she tries to pick our dog up and keep him safe
>the shepherd starts trying to jump up on her to get the dog
>this shepherd probably weighs 2/3 my wife
>she's freaking out, calling for help from the neighbor standing in his yard 30 feet away
>he just looks at her like he's watching a TV show, doesn't move or say shit
That was the day we started thinking about leaving that state

>>28693505
lmao memphis is on it's 3rd round with 269. The barney fife cops finally gave up trying to ticket the shit out of everyone going through their 1 dollar store towns so it's a pretty nice drive...for now. The mexicans are way ahead of the white flight now and buying up everything along that route. God, I hate this country.

>>28702991
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viveza_criolla
Apparently it's worse in places like miami

I can't possibly imagine someone being envious of Houston. By any metric. We have some of the worst uninsured illegal drivers in the country. All new roads are toll roads. Cops are worthless and camp on the new toll roads. Everyone either drives too slow or too recklessly.

Fuck texas. Been there too many times for friends but it's a hot humid swamp of a shithole with altima drivers street racing all hours of the night

>>28702928
Out of curiosity what part of town were you living in? Sounds like shitty neighborhood kids. I'm surprised it took the neighbors that long to even introduce themselves. Sucks you had so many bad experiences.

I'm the anon who first asked for the stories. Like I said, I've lived in Houston basically all my life but haven't lived in the suburbs for almost 20 years now. When I was a kid the suburbs of Houston were a great place to live. It was very homogenous and mostly safe. It really just felt like Anytown, USA. To be fair I don't know what the suburbs are really like anymore as I haven't lived there in so long. I will say I think the city has changed for the worse in my life but I attribute that more to ((((modernism))))) than anything. People moving here from all over the world, mass immigration. Not to mention the commiefornians who moved here en masse after covid that are really shitting the place up.

I live in town and have a great relationship with all my neighbors. We hang out, we talk, we always band together and help each other after a bad storm. They're all super nice people, albeit varying degrees of liberal.

>>28703899
We were next to the woodlands.

If I had to slap a label on the whole scene, it would be Tribal. In Texas culture it seems like your church, town and connections dictate your the tribe you belong to, and anyone outside the tribe isn't worthy. I didn't feel like it was worth putting in the work to prove myself to some tribe just to have friends in an environment that was so totally disagreeable to me.

Leave Texas to the Texans. It takes a special kind of person to love that place.

And it isn't like we were shut-ins either
>4th of July
>neighborhood goes OFF
>sounds like a war zone
>Grab some beers, set up some chairs in the driveway, watch people have fun
>do our best to appear open and friendly without being weird or aggressive
>friendly wave at some passerby
>clap if a firework was particularly good
>get completely ignored by all
Unbelievable.

I swore off conservative politics completely after moving out. They may be right about a lot of things but they're such dicks about it they can go get fucked.

>>28702982
>>pulls out $2600 with a shitty little grin on his face
Should have told him he was short and then stood there and stared at him until he ponied up or left your driveway.

>>28694918

Sun Belt inhabitants are subhuman and should be shot evidence sample #5233

>>28703363
It's a shithole, man. I want to move but my wife's family is here but honestly fuck'em for wanting to stay in this shithole as well. Travel to any other city in the world and it's for the most part nicer in geography or just aesthetics. Fuc.

>>28704984
Why is your living situation being dictated by some fuckin yokels?

>>28704755
I have enough money that the cost/benefit ratio didn't work out for me. So it cost me $400 to spend a handful of minutes less with that guy and any other car buying h'onions in the future? Worth it.
By the time that happened, i had completely soured on Te*as and te*ans

>>28693307
We got good Mexican food, doe

>>28694745
>FM1488
Based woodlands chad

>>28694995
Go back to chindia

>>28702958
>Getting gas at any place but Bucky's, Costco, or Kroger
You deserved to have your card stolen, retard

>>28704266
Good, fuck off and leave Texas to the Texans. Wish the damn jeets, commiefornians, and jew yorkers would get that memo too. Bless your heart to hell.

>>28705654
Behold, a te*xan has chimed in with typical stupid rage. Too dumb to agree with me that Te*as is a dump in order to scare away any "damn jeets, commiefornians, and jew yorkers" potentially lurking. And he throws in the stereotypical "bless your heart"!
Yeah, bless your heart too, lil' guy. If it wasn't for your oil I would petition you to join Mexico.

>>28705666
Fuck you, Satan, I WANT everyone to hate Texas and stop moving here!

>>28705714
JFC how can someone be this dense?

>>28705654
>>Getting gas at any place but Bucky's, Costco, or Kroger
>You deserved to have your card stolen, retard
Jeez, and I thought the meme was too much >>28699165