Thread 2814314

>>2814314 (OP)
That's why I always bring a lightweight hiking butt plug.

This is why I sleep in an hammock. It buys you a little time while the bear swipes at you like a swinging piñata.

>>2814314 (OP)
I'm more scared of humans

>>2814317
At least in black bear country, it seems like hammocks are more frequently involved in bear attacks than tents
Crackpot theory is that they've gotten used to getting food out of shitty bear hangs and thus mistake a hammock for their usual hiker food piñata

>>2814320
on two occasions I've spent the night in a hammock with a black bear circling my camp. was not a pleasant experience but it did not get bold enough to walk into the clearing

Just like I do at home. With drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. Drugs.

>>2814314 (OP)
I don't go outside.

>>2814314 (OP)
By having a pistol with me as I sleep

Hypothetically if a bear came up to me could I shoot it?

>>2814331
Probably not. You'd be too busy pissing yourself. The bear would proceed to bear rape you and the two of you would hibernate together happily ever after.

>>2814331
Only if you have a tent. Castle doctrine doesn't apply to tarps/hammocks

>>2814331
>>2814349
Any wildlife that approaches you cannot just be killed for yucks, any wildlife that approaches you and also threatens physical harm or death can be killed.

But be weary, lots of rednecks and other cold IQ people shoot for fun and try to play it off as self defense. They tend to regurgitate words like "castle doctrine".

>>2814314 (OP)
With a raging hardon

>>2814314 (OP)
Only black bears round me, they get raped not do the raping

>>2814329
This. Not just near me. I wear my gun belt to bed.

>>2814368
camping, or at home too? or both?

>>2814369
Only when camping alone.

>>2814368
What kid of gun will kill a bear inches away from you?

>>2814350
>Any wildlife that approaches you cannot just be killed for yucks, any wildlife that approaches you and also threatens physical harm or death can be killed.
How can they determine the difference?

>>2814456
I guess it depends on the case. Simply seeing an animal isn't good enough, but if it's coming for you I wouldn't fuck around and find out. If attempting to flee the situation doesn't work that's probably justification enough

>>2814314 (OP)
>How do you fall asleep in one of these knowing a bear could come out and rape you any second?

Have you never heard the joke with the punchline that goes:
"You're not really here for the hunting, are you?"

>>2814314 (OP)
Better bear, than a man.

>>2814314 (OP)
It would have to remove the XL dildo from my ass first

Animals are retarded and treat tents like if they were solid objetcts. Plus they are afraid of an alien object they have never seen before and reeks of plastic.

>>2814925
plenny of people have been mauled to death, torn to schreds, and bloodily knotted while sleeping in tents anon. I agree animals are curious and uncertain about a tent, but this curiosity can backfire

>>2814460
i wouldnt mind some beardick desu

I'm afraid of other humans more than bears

>>2814926
Bears don't have knots. I'm an expert in animal dicks

Matter of fact most canines don't

>>2815111
I didn't imply the knot was from a bear, thanks

The bear fears the satan dog.

>>2814314 (OP)
Do you not have firearms in your country?

>>2814314 (OP)
It won't.

>>2814456
Well in the case of that news screenshot, it says he baited the bear onto his property. Kind of hard to say you feared for your life while you were actively trying to attract a predator. Only women are allowed to use this strat.

>>2814380
10mm doesn't take prisoners

>>2814380
.700 Nitro Express

>>2814314 (OP)
Sleep next to a big rifle.

If/when the wall of the tent starts to shake violently, blow a hole in it immediately.

there's no bears in my country
there's pumas tho

>>2814314 (OP)
Don't sleep with you food liek a retard.

>>2816105
but i wanna snack at night

>>2814314 (OP)
i fall asleep like this, why do you ask?

>>2814314 (OP)
I love guns so there is my answer.

I deploy decoy tents with bags of mincemeat in them.

>>2814324
Thats weird. Drugs make me extremely awake. I use them to not sleep

I woke up to a horse looking through my tent flap. Scared me so bad I haven't been out since. Why was the horse just looking at me sleeping while completely silent?

>>2814314 (OP)
i sleep with a gun and knife but i wish i had the stones of c dale peterson

>>2818199
>nigga missed free horse to dire

By not being a pussy scared of bears.

>>2818199
He thought you were going to give him apples and sugar cubes

>>2814456
You have to yell "it's coming right for me" and then you're ok.

I just hike so many miles at the end of the day im too tired to care. Its a battle tested strategy.

>>2814350
>weary
It's wary. The word you're looking for is WARY.
Weary means tired. Wary means alert.

>>2818582
oh yeah, you're right. you could have been a little more polite about it :[

>>2818589
Fuck you, dumb faggot

>>2818594
okay :[

>>2818327
Night horses only want carnage

>>2814314 (OP)
Aroused and sexually frustrated

>>2814314 (OP)
I’ve heard the british countryside barely has wild animals, you can camp easily there and the weather is nice.

>>2818751
Thats the kings forest

>>2814350
>illegally baiting a bear
What did he do, cover his neighbor in bacon grease?

>>2814314 (OP)
Well for starters if you have half a brain cell you know not to cook or eat where you sleep. The only reason people get away with it in winter is because most bears are sleeping. Even then I would never do that in grizzly territory

I just buy expensive gear. I've never gone camping.

Australian here, it’s nice knowing no animals in my country can actually hunt you down. I mean we have crocodiles but stay away from the water and you are fine. They are also only in half of Australia.

Snakes aren’t a concern they literally want nothing to do with you they get a bad wrap.
>bears
>wolves
>bobcats
No thanks, am I missing any other predators??

>>2814314 (OP)
I don’t know how anybody can sleep in these period. I got an RV for camping. Yeah I’m that RV Chad who keeps tentfags up all night with my generator. Tentfags camp at RV parks so I can camp in my RV wherever the fuck I want. Tentfags gatekeep camping and backpackers especially are insufferable autistic assholes.

You are more likely to get into a car accident or struck by lightning than get attacked, let alone killed, by a bear. Relative to the number of hikers and campers, the number of actual recorded deaths and injuries from bears is low. Even if you don't believe those numbers entirely, the numbers remain low enough. Don't act like a fucking retard out there for lots of reasons. Even if you are one and act like one though, chances are you're going to be just fine, including if you run into one. I've run into black bears countless times while being out there, picking for blueberries, camping, whatever. None of them picked a fight. There is no point in that for most of them. Act right and you'll be fine. Most of those big scary sounds you hear outside your tent are from squirrels, deer, porcupine, birds, shit like that.

>>2814314 (OP)
hide it in the woods, away from, bear eyes

>>2814314 (OP)
Few big firecrackers and a burning fire before sleep, weaking up few times a night to keep it burning, will make most anymals go away.

>>2814314 (OP)
Go in da wuds az a nigga

https://youtube.com/shorts/5jvA5Eiasrg?si=uNUt1N0pDWECTaxE

>>2814314 (OP)
First thing you do in the forest is rape a bear to set precedent, like in prison
Everyone knows this right?

>>2814314 (OP)
By knowing that God protects me.

>>2814314 (OP)
Say hello to my fucking boomstick you noguns faggot.

>>2821373

this got me LOL

>>2818582
No, wary does not mean alert. It means cautious.
>>2818589
See above, this guy’s an in secure, low iq retard

if only

>>2816613
Based effortposter

statistically its just not likely, you may as well have panic attacks thinking youll die in a car wreck every time you go driiving

Spray and pray.

>>2821081
Tent campers are rarely armed because the kind of person who camps in a tent is usually a docile hippy with some form of autism.

>>2818589
Faggot

Had a bear sniff my tent from both sides. Then he heard me move and ran off. Maybe it helps to smell like shit.

>>2815488
proof youre ret rded a bear would kill that with one swipe

christians worship these and say all others are evil because they translated the bible wrong on purpose. if anything is seen as evil its cats

>>2818186
its not weird at all. you are clueless. weed and benzos make you sleepy. g is even used in certain types of narcolepsy. alcohol makes it easy to fall asleep as well.

>>2814314 (OP)
I mean I could come out and rape you but that's a lot of work after hiking all the damn way out to you

>>2820033
I know you guys basically breathe spiders, but surely you haven't forgotten about them?

moat of empties, hear them and get gun

>>2814314 (OP)
Like a baby. You see, I rape bears.

>>2814325
huh

>>2814314 (OP)
With a gun

>>2814380
Most anything more powerful than a 9mm.

>>2820019
Like most /out/ posters lol

>>2822445
I tent camp because my wife refuses to live any rougher than a tent. I dont let her argue about my going armed though. Theres more than one occasion ive been glad i had it if things got goofey.
Investigated by a cougar a couple times. Close run in with a black bear and cub one spring. Another very close run in with bull moose in alaska 3 years back.
Of all the animals i dont wanna deal with, its moose. Fuck that.

>>2814314 (OP)
Once I set up the tent, I tie or tape one of my knives to the hiking staff. Bears are animals that struggle with object permanence, they can smell you inside the tent but they think you're the shape of the tent so they'll inspect it cautiously, make noise...etc. That's when you stab through the tent and scream. The jolt of pain will make it run for it's fucking life.

Most animals are afraid of humans.