Thread 2837544

Alternative cooking methods

Look folks, it's 2025, fire is out the window. Your risk of starting a forest fire is too high, and smoke gives away your position to anybody. Obviously, fire is fucking dumb. The comanche would cold camp without fire to evade the Texas Rangers.

But luckily, there are some really cool alternatives to using fire for cooking.

>cold soak
Dehydrated refried beans and othee foods can simply be left in water
>solar grill
These are really fucking cool and work great for cooking
>non-cook solutions
Muh protein powder, fiber powder and multivitamin gauntlent

Im quite fond of the cold soak, I rarely even use heat to cook at home. The solar shit is really cool.

>>2837544 (OP)
i simply rub my hands together very quickly, and it heats up my food as i hold it

>>2837544 (OP)
Enjoy yer Salmer Nella

>>2837546
i do this except i put the raw food in my mouth and then chew really fast

>>2837555
You mean Salmy Nilla, right?

>>2837559
You can get battery powered stoves these days, but I doubt they made them portable yet.

>>2837555
>>2837561
Bone app the teeth

i always use my Biolite stick snapper for my Biolite stove

>>2837574
What the hell

>>2837617
works as a bottle opener too!

>>2837544 (OP)
>inb4
It's not that I was in love with the peteochemical jew, the petrosandnigger or other types of oiggers. In fact so much so that I have refusedall motorized transportation for almost a decade by now and also will not heat living spaces, unless using firewood to prevent temperatures dropping into freezing.
BUT:
I am not going to lug around a literal sun shade umbrella made from polished aluminium and wait for the sun to cook only to save the occassional 227g butane canister.
Butane shit just works as long as it is warm enough. There's literally zero risk of setting fire if you choose your spot right and use a proper cooker, not some ultralight tube a flame comes out on a stake. It packs compact, doesnt weight a shit and is cost efficient.
A nicer solution is probably a mukti fuek cooker with a preheat loop but thats pricey.

>>2837544 (OP)
Okay, hear me out. There's no surface water because it's a desert. If I'm carrying all my water anyway, there's no point to dehydrated food. Therefore, there's no point to cooking. I can just eat Chef Boyardee straight out of the can.

>>2837574
>>2837619
neat
You might not see it, but I'm currently kneeling.

>>2837544 (OP)
I camped in a park with a burn ban last week and brought along one of these propane fire bowl things
>signs everywhere that say no wood or carcoal fires
>propane is ok
>they were expecting colman stoves
>set the bowl in the cement fire ring and put up my tripod
>just treated it like a normal camp fire grilling and frying in pans set on the hanging grill
>boiling water in a hanging pot
>got to watch every other camper in the park pass in shame they didn't have one
>even more fun got to watch every new woods jannie come on shift and pass by my site for the first time
>each one(6 over the 4 days) stopped their little golf carts freaked out and then rolled on defeated
>could watch their eyes gape in triggered disbelief that I would build a fire in the fire pit they clearly marked no wood or charcoal with a piece of unlaminated yellow copy paper and some scotch tape
>watch them reach for ticket book
>put on hat
>exit cart
>waddle around back of cart ready to bust heads for smokey and Al Gore
>stop
>watch their eyes follow the hose to the big white tank under the edge of the picnic table
>just stand there looking awkward
>I wave
>they leave
>no smoke smell and soot on all my stuff when I got home
>used 1.75 BBQ size tanks and we stayed up late drinking could easily have stretched just one
>cheaper than firewood in the campground
>on and off with ease
I may use this thing more often it was nice to be able to cook a meal and then instantly get back to hiking or the beach without having to deal with putting out coals or waiting for the fire to die down/light up

>>2837721
Kek based
Nta, what is the other use for these sticks, as pot handle?

I'm in my country's version of the National Guard. We get MREs everytime we're out on exercises, but they also get us hot meals.
So I got a fuckton of spare FRHs, and just bring whatever MREs I got left, or buy some commercial meals.

>>2837565
>Bone app the teeth
I had to read that one out loud to understand the joke.

>>2837574
>Biolite stove
Do those things still exist? I remember when everyone and their aunt were making youtube videos like the stoves were the second coming of Jesus Christ.

>>2837544 (OP)
>Your risk of starting a forest fire is too high
>and smoke gives away your position to anybody.
I've cooked entire family meals on open wood fires. If you know what you're doing, and have dry wood and a solid base (fire pan, flat stones, doesn't matter), there's no smoke, and no risk of the fire spreading, either.
On the other hand, if a retard like you who can't even handle fire tried to use a solar cooker, I'd suggest bringing a welding mask. You might just end up blind, otherwise.