Thread 2842491

heres mine
time was about 3 weeks ago
was fishing at the river behind my house and had a decent fishing day except for one moment
was drinking with my rican friend who brought some ribs and casting for catfish
i had like about 85 yards out and felt a rumble
so im like ill wait for a hit on the hook and then run back and shit
well about 10 minutes goes by and its grtting worse
like channeling energy to my sphincter
i say fuck that im gonna lose it and start reeeling in my line
now im struggling to hold this flow in reeling in on a 12 foot pole on 40 lb test with a 4oz weight(nriver has some deep black mud), i knew it was gonna be a bad one
god knows 8 seconds into the retreival im probably 40 feet from shore i get a MASSIVE strike
and then it happened
the force of the fish hitting my hook plus my stance, it must have looked absurb.
mind you now, i am wearing swimtrunks (no net) and all this happens in less than a second
i instinctely threw back my rod for the hook land, and in the same action release my bowels
an ABSOLUTE TORRENT of liquid shit blasts out of me
now my brain flashes
FISH OR SHIT
>the brown tide has now crossed my shorts cutoff and is dripping down both my legs
i chance a look down and my god its heinous at the same time my friend just realized what has happened
hes now yelling at me DUDE YOU SHIT YOURSELF! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
i start charging at the reel, fish still on, 25 feet to go, ill wipe when i land it
bitch breaks off at the shore line

not a good time

>>2842491 (OP)
I try and poop on every challenging summit I conquer. Some you just can't because everyone and their mom is up there. And others just don't seem poop worthy. But I've pooped on 9 different peaks over 14k foot tall.

>>2842491 (OP)
I worked cable doing plant extensions, mostly. 99% of the time, worked outside with no bathroom nearby. Usually I can take care of business before leaving the house, but not always. Here’s one:
>working up in the bucket truck, drilling through a pile for a new guy wire frame
>beer from last night trying to push it’s way out
>tell my coworkers, “I gotta go for a walk in the forest over there”
>boom down, drop harness and shimmy past the tree line
>take a big smelly dump behind a log
>resume work
>an hour later the customer gets home, and we are 3 poles down, next to the house, almost done
>he opens the door to his Highlander, and his big dog instantly bolts out, beeline to the tree line
>the dog proudly trots back to his owner with my turd clenched in it’s jaws
>I duck down inside the bucket to hide, not because I’m embarrassed, but because I cannot stop laughing

>>2842503
Drilling through a pole*

Another one at work:
>Aerial to underground cable, shorts-ish job but took 2 hours to drive there
>been holding it in for some reason instead of stopping to use the toilet like a normal person
>arrive at job site, commence work on roadside poles, move to private property side to finish work there. I’m turtle-heading at that point.
>tell my coworkers, “ I gotta go for a walk in the woods over there.” By now they know what this means
>drop harness, reflective vest, run past tree line to find a good spot
>find a big ditch that a surveyor dug to test the ground water
>perfect
>begin pooping in said ditch
>hear the laughter of children
>look around and notice a fence about 30 ft away, didn’t notice it before due to dense foliage. A couple brats are lined up behind the fence, watching me poop
>turns out there is a “nature school” business next door to the plat we are working on, and it’s recess time
>for some reason I am still wearing my hard hat, use it to hide my face while I finish my business
>get lucky, it’s one of those magical turds that leaves no residue, test wipe confirms that it was a clean break
>make my escape
One of the best shots I ever had

Summer of 2023 I was on a walk with my dog. We were walking along the shore of the ocean. I suddenly felt diarrhea hit - you know, massive, stinky farts followed by a warm sensation around you're butthole. "no problem, I brought toilet paper". I run into the bushes and shit all over the blueberry bushes. It was mostly liquid so the bushes were covered. I was happy and no longer worried about shitting myself. I walk down to the ocean to enjoy the view when I suddenly hear voices behind me. "oshit what the fuck". I didn't expect to meet people here and the massive pile of shit did not help. There are two ways to enter the small cove I was in; either walking along the water OR you could enter through the area I had just covered in shit. So I freeze, "plz god no, no no no". I then see them, it's a family, two adults and two kids. A girl is in the front, probably 10 years old. She walks right into the bushes covered in shit. She's wearing shorts, her shins and shoes are covered in shit. She screams. Her father comes running, he checks her feet then he looks at me with the most disappointed, angry stare you can imagine.

I ran.

>>2842511
*best shits
Phonepostong….
Final poo story:
>working in the city today
>on the rooftop of a retirement home, 7 stories up
>great view, 10 mile visibility
>this place has bathrooms for visitors, but every time I went down to go, they are occupied and locked
>tell my coworkers to stay in the mechanical room and keep the door shut
>they know what this means
>start pooping on the roof next to the kitchen vents
>they are making some kind of chicken curry dish
>the smell of curry and poop mix together
>say to myself out loud, “this is what it must be like in India!”
>grab a nearby section of extra membrane left by the roofers
>cover up my leavings and smash it down
>I was never here

3 days ago on my way back, i had been noticing it since the morning but it wasn't urgent. just before i started the downhill walk i was going to do it but someone arrived so thought i would it somewhere later down. i keep going down and down but can't find a good place, it's bare mountain and no good places hidden from the top.

i hold it for more than an hour until i start to see some trees, holding it more and more until i find a good spot but nowhere good enough. finally i can't hold it enough and do it in the middle of the trail after a bend after listening a bit and hearing nobody. while i'm cleaning myself i hear someone, i get up and pretend i'm looking at my phone, it's a guy doing trail running coming fast so i think he will probably don't see the huge turd at my feet, he says hi as normal and just after passing by he notices, turns his head back while running with a surprised expression in his face, trips, almost falls but saves it with 2-3 huge steps and barely missing a tree

then he kept running without looking back again

This is an event for yall? I try to do this daily

>>2842527
yea i rushed the subjeft field and forgot "yourself" but good stories anyway they are always hilarious

>overnight backpacking trip on the Massanutten South trail couple weeks back
>instant mashed potatoes, summer sausage, and an Indian chickpea packet was grub the night before
>looking for a side trail that leads to the base of an old fire tower. on this section, even the main trail clearly isn't used a lot
>my dog points out a rock cairn and i see one white blaze along the main orange blaze on a tree
>this side trail is narrow, overgrown, and with my overnight pack and dog looks to be more of a pain in the ass than it's worth
>rumbleinmybowels.png
>tie my dog to a tree, sit on a log, and release the beast
> decide fuck it on the old fire tower trail, maybe i'll come back in winter

>>2842491 (OP)
Last Thursday, I felt the need to shit while driving between fishing spots, so I diverted to an place I thought no one would be, and thank God, I was able to shit without incident.

>>2842503
That's funny af anon
>>2842495
Based
>>2842491 (OP)
I've only done it once so far... it was pretty inconvenient to figure out. There wasn't much cover in the area either

>>2842514
LMAO

>>2842491 (OP)
Was driving through Wyoming about 11 years ago. Running low on gas and in the middle of no-fucking-where. Had to take a piss real bad, so parked on the shoulder and got out to do the deed. As Im standing there pissing by the rear of the car, I see a goddamned rattlesnake way to fucking close to me. I back away slowly, zip up, and eventually find a gas station. Shit though, little fucker was nearly invisible in the late evening.

I almost made it to my toilet the other day.
Only casualty was my shorts.

>>2842491 (OP)
Do portajohns count? I'm doing it right now~

>>2843195
no
OUTSIDE

I took a diarrhea dump on an abandoned runway. I came back days later, and it was still wet underneath.

>>2845409
How did you know it was still wet underneath?

>>2845434
I poked it with a stick

Last 2 times I had to do it I was on sand, thankfully. Camping in the sand dunes, fishing trip
>3 day trip
>need to unload
>walk 200m back into the dunes where nobody is
>dig a hole
>do the thing
>burn the paper
>fill in the hole

The very last time was in pitch black darkness...just adds another element to it.

Just don't be the guy that shits beside a tent site. A few times I pulled a stake out from the ground covered in scat and asswipe. Fuck whoever shits right beside their tent

>>2845578
That’s shitty, man. When I need to go at the campsite, I just hike a couple minutes into the forest, turn over a big rock, blast it into the hole, return rock to its resting place.

Thoughts on trail bidets?

Section hiked the AT and mostly used the shelter latrines except once, so I never actually used it.

Simple story really, only 1 time surprisingly.
>be me
>be on wma
>hike for an hour or 2
>walk back to car
>on way, feel an extreme and painful need to shit
>try to brush it off but can't
>had bag on w/ water bottle inside and other things
>use plastic bag to shit somewhat off path
>carry shit bag w/ me and toss it out when I get home

>>2842527
I know right?

Had to poop in a snow forest in -30 once when I was in the army. Honestly, it was one of the best shits I ever had, not only it went quick and smooth, but also wiping with snow turned out to be absolutely refreshing and much more hygienic. Totally recommend.

>>2847745

Another experience my grandma had. We took a train once to the relatives, and in the middle of the ride grandma suddenly told me that she had to take a shit. Mind you, it was a train with no toilets whatsoever, so she had to do the duty in that section where carriage doors are. As she told me later, she picked a moment when no one was seemingly around, put a rag on the floor, pooped inside of it, and neatly wrapped it for lulz in case someone would think it was lost money or some goods.
Damn, I miss my grandma so much.