>>2845040
I’ve had a decent life and decent experiences. Love, loss, marriage, money, friendships. My interest in living in the wilderness was arrived at because I compared it with other possible ideals and I ran a thought experiment: if I lived for a thousand years, and had to have one life, which would I prefer? Also by reflection on my happiest sustained periods in life which came down to being a hermit poker player traveling around and living in motel rooms, and being by myself camping in the desert. The desert won out because all my life even when I was in loving relationships, I felt extremely depressed either going to bed, or getting up. But in the desert I felt happy to go to bed and happy to get up.
The main tempting thing about other options (supposing I could have any one I wished) is the path of least resistance. But every other possible fantasy ultimately depends on other people acting in a way that makes me happy. And I have found my happiness is least impaired when it has zero to do with the expectations of the behavior of anyone but myself.
I also experimented with the idea based on the important notion that people change. I have sort of pseudo spiritual belief that the Dao of something is equivalent to its GTO, which I derived from the belief that GTO poker is necessarily the Dao of poker. So based on possibilities of my own changing nature or desires, I took my consideration again and came to the same conclusion
I might be wrong but everything decision comes down to probability and I see the probability in favor of being a hermit here, in terms me finding the most sustained tranquility or happiness